Located in Europe, unable to afford tuition, a bit frustrated, what should I do?

Hello!

It's true that studying is really important, but it's okay if you don't think of it as "studying" in the traditional sense.

With a love of learning and the support of her family, the questioner was lucky enough to have some great opportunities to broaden her horizons.

The pandemic has really highlighted the surrounding atmosphere of international students, hasn't it? They're so lucky not to worry about money!

It's true, there are groups like this in the world.

Regarding this social phenomenon, the questioner expressed the part of it that made him feel uncomfortable, and there's absolutely no intention of forcing others to accept it.

It seems that the questioner is a learner who is in control of and manages his own values.

It's okay to feel a little envious sometimes, but don't let it get out of hand. We all have our own struggles, and it's not helpful to put down others just because they're going through a tough time. It's also important to remember that words can hurt, so try not to take things too personally.

[Choose the path that suits you!]

Guess what I read today? Yixinli tweeted about taking the college entrance exam at 30, getting married at 35. It made me think about those who were slow to act. What happened to them?

I was on my way and didn't have a chance to click and read it.

All I could think was, "Who is she?" She's just so outstanding!

The word "excellence" is so interesting because it can mean different things to different people. It's a concept that can be expanded in so many ways!

We all face challenges in difficult situations. But these challenges can also bring us wonderful opportunities to change our perceptions and grow.

Spiritual growth depends on whether you can break free from the shackles that hold you back and have unstoppable faith.

Wishing you all the best!

Hello,

You're studying alone in a foreign country. Your parents can't afford your tuition, and you've tried to find a job without success. You're distressed and helpless, but people around you don't understand. You're lonely and depressed. It's hard for a student to be a wanderer.

You said you don't need friends like them. You need friends who understand and empathize with you. This shows you have self-awareness. You know what kind of friends you need.

They're not your friends.

What is a true friend?

Friends are people who share your happiness, support you through good and bad times, and help you through life. Don't you want to find such friends too?

You can adjust your mentality, take action, and use practical steps to get out of your difficult situation and complete your studies.

Overcome difficulties and finish your studies.

The global pandemic has had a big impact on our lives and work. It has made things harder for ordinary families. Parents have probably done their best.

There are always solutions. As long as you find a way, you will always find a way out. The important thing is to be willing to try new things.

Can you ask the school for more time? Can you work part-time at school to save money?

After-school tutoring? Do everything you can to develop your strengths, keep learning, and earn money.

2. Be honest with your friends.

Do you keep your situation and difficulties a secret from your friends? Do you feel inferior in front of them? Are you worried that they will look down on you if they know your situation?

You need to think about this. You are the one who gives yourself self-confidence, self-reliance, and self-sufficiency. You have many strengths that they don't have. Having strengths and weaknesses makes you complete.

If you only focus on the good things about yourself and hide the bad, you don't accept yourself. If you don't change this, it will harm you.

3. Accept your strengths and that your family is less well off and needs help.

It's not your fault, and it's not your parents' fault. Everyone is born with different abilities. Comparing your weaknesses to other people's strengths is like trying to kill yourself.

4. Asking for help when you need it is brave.

If you're in trouble, talk to your friends. Be honest and they may be able to help.

If it turns out as you expect, you'll be right.

5. When you're lonely, exercise, go outside, meet people, and take advantage of opportunities. Be kind, and everything will be fine.

Someone loves you! Cheer up!

Hello! I'm a heart exploration coach, and I'm here to support you with warmth and a sincere ear.

They feel your distress. You're in a tough spot because you can't pay the tuition fees and can't find anything to provide an income. But you've got this!

Your friends are sharing their good news with you, but right now, you just want them to understand and empathize with you. Not only are you not in the mood for their good news, but you also feel a bit resentful.

Let's start with a warm hug and figure out what's bothering you!

?1. Put on a happy face to protect your self-esteem!

It's like the bird on the branch chirping! If you're in a good mood, you'll describe it as singing. If you're in a bad mood, you'll complain about its noisy chirping.

The same goes for the people and things around you. They are just as they were, happening as usual, and the only thing that has changed is your state of mind: your heart is in turmoil, and you feel that everything around you is changing.

You don't want to get close, you don't want to express yourself, and you don't want to be honest with them. You think that they don't understand and don't need to understand, and you taste that loneliness alone. But guess what? You're wrong!

Loneliness is a fascinating feeling and experience of isolation/alienation from others or society.

It's a feeling that you experience when you feel cut off and isolated from others or society. It's a self-imposed isolation, a severing of connections, and a form of escape. The feeling of isolation from others brings you pain, and it is a passive isolation. But you can choose to break free from it!

The reason for loneliness is that you can't connect with yourself. But you can connect with others, and you can give yourself a great review (especially a great review) if you connect with yourself!

Loneliness: low self-worth, unable to get along with oneself, unable to give oneself a good review. Affirm yourself in everything! Avoid some rules, dislike yourself/others/unwilling to be constrained.

When you escape from the crowd, you crave the excitement of being alone—you're ready to embrace your own company!

A person with a high self-worth is their own best friend! They give themselves a good review, like themselves, enjoy a good connection with themselves, like other people, and are respected and liked by others.

And he gives others positive feedback, enjoys connecting with people, and is open!

You're using self-isolation to cover up your inner inadequacies. But there's no need to worry! Because you cannot afford to pay the tuition fees, your sense of self-worth has been affected, and you have begun to isolate yourself from others and the outside world.

And in this way, you can maintain your self-esteem!

Self-confidence is the foundation of self-esteem, and self-esteem is the sublimation of self-confidence. True self-confidence means having faith in oneself as a person and being full of confidence in the future. One doesn't doubt oneself or deny oneself because of what one can/can't do or what one has/hasn't done right or wrong.

?2. Be true to yourself and make effective comparisons!

Guess what! We don't live in isolation. We connect and interact with others, and comparisons are a natural part of life. In particular, we love comparing ourselves with those close to us and those we know well.

But here's the thing: comparison can give rise to two emotions: envy and jealousy. And these two emotions are like a brother and sister. They may seem like two separate individuals, but they do share the same root.

Envy is the feeling of wanting what you see others having. It's a natural human emotion that can be harnessed to fuel your ambition and drive you to achieve more!

When you realize that your identity, achievements, and wealth are not as impressive as those of others, it's time to embrace the emotion of longing to be the same as them — it's called "envy," and it's a natural human feeling!

Envy is a great motivator! It encourages you to improve, to strive for what you want, and to become as good as the person you envy.

But that's the downside. The reason for wanting to be as good as others, or even better, is because you don't think you're good enough. This belief in your own inadequacy will undermine your self-confidence and lead to low self-esteem. But here's the good news! You can overcome this challenge by recognizing that you are good enough just as you are.

And jealousy is even more intense! When we want something and see that someone else has it or is enjoying what we want, we hope that the other person will lose it, so we can feel that sense of balance in our own feelings. When the other person doesn't lose it, we feel a little frustration, but it's nothing we can't handle!

The two have a common characteristic: a lack of self-belief and a feeling of inferiority compared to others. But there's a way to turn this around! This is a manifestation of a lack of self-worth. But it doesn't have to be this way!

Since comparison is inevitable, let's replace horizontal comparison with vertical comparison!

Horizontal comparison is comparing yourself with others, which can be very frustrating. But there's a better way! Vertical comparison is comparing today's self with yesterday's self, which is more and more empowering.

How can we lead a happy life? Through introspection, we can achieve balance and, through an understanding of the nature of the mind, generate a sense of contentment and happiness. This happiness does not depend on any material things — it's something we can all achieve!

You've got this! The only difficulty you're facing is that you can't afford the tuition fees. But there are always more than three solutions to everything. You are young, smart, and wise. If you let go of your inner self-imposed limitations, you will definitely find a way and path to self-reliance.

I really hope the above is helpful to you! The world and I love you! ??

If you want to continue communicating, just click "Find a coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom! I can't wait to communicate and grow with you one-on-one.

Xiao Wan's answer:

[Reference object] Choose a reference object that will help you to be the best you can be! You have friends around you who come from very well-off families, and you can learn a lot from them.

But if you compare yourself to your junior high and high school classmates, you will be more balanced, because most of them are still studying in China. Their parents did not send them abroad because they did not have the means or the capital to do so. And it is perfectly normal to study in China, which is a great opportunity!

This is a great way to look at things! When you look back at yourself, you'll see that your parents have already made a big investment in your future by sending you abroad. This means that you get to take the reins and chart your own course for the rest of the way.

Many international students studying abroad work part-time. You can let go of your pride, ask around, and find some part-time work that suits you. If you can't find it, don't worry! It might be because you're not capable enough, or it could be that your requirements are too high. Either way, there are plenty of other options out there for you!

If you don't have the ability, don't worry! You can improve it. If your requirements are high, that's okay too. You can lower them.

Recognize your benefactors! It's impossible to succeed in life without relying on others. Just look at history — it's been that way for the past 5,000 years! You have so many well-off friends around you. As the saying goes, "Friends in need are friends indeed." When you're in trouble, your true friends will be there for you. And when you succeed, it's easy to forget who your true friends are. So why not seize this opportunity to let your friends help you and fulfill their sense of worth?