My boyfriend's family doesn't approve, and I don't want to give up. What should I do?

It takes a lot of courage to stick with an unfulfilling relationship.

People who are great together may not be so great when it comes to marriage. The teasing and bickering that comes with love is a lot less complicated than what you'll face in marriage. Love is romantic, while life is full of problems.

If you choose to get married, you have to be prepared to accept all of this, including the boring parts of life and the conflicts between two families. Marriage is a responsibility that involves sharing each other's lives, starting with building a family. Once you're married, you're no longer responsible for just yourself, but also for the joint family, the two sides that make up the family, and the two families that support you.

In love, there's no need to compete for victory or defeat, right or wrong. It's just a way to prove that you love me. Marriage is full of compromises. No matter what the process is like, life goes on, and your future is still in your hands.

People often have unrealistic expectations of what they want, which can make them afraid to pursue it because they're afraid of the consequences of failure. Entering into marriage doesn't mean you have to lose your identity, become dependent on your family, or be abandoned.

It doesn't matter if you get married or not. What matters is how you view each other and yourself in an intimate relationship. If you lower your expectations of marriage and face it with an ordinary attitude, you'll find that you're not actually that afraid.

Everyone's different. Our upbringings and education styles affect how we deal with the world. What happens to one person doesn't necessarily happen to another. In the past, you were independent with your own good and bad points. Maybe during the period of being in love, you ignored each other's shortcomings due to psychological effects, but these are real and will all become apparent after entering into marriage. Are you prepared to accept them?

A lot of people start out by accepting each other, but then things get rocky because they want to change the other person and mold them into the ideal lover in their hearts.

What are your real thoughts? Do you want to get married to build a family and face the future together, no matter what? Or is it because you've gotten used to living with each other and want to continue like this, not wanting life to become turbulent again?

Is the person you truly love in your heart really him, or do you have other ideas about who you'd like to be with?

We don't make choices out of thin air. Everything that's inevitable is the result of repeated chance. And people who love each other don't have to be together. Every choice is the result of countless struggles.

If you really put in the effort and were courageous, you don't have to be together. However, don't jeopardize your future just to be together.

Hi, I'm Strawberry.

I thought the two would get together because they love each other. But his mom didn't like her, so he gave up after three years.

Is there a misunderstanding?

The questioner and her boyfriend's mother have not spent much time together. After the first meeting, the questioner learned from her boyfriend that his mother did not like her. People don't dislike someone for no reason. Was there a misunderstanding or communication gap?

When we say something, it may not sound the same to others. A second person saying it will have a different emotional tone and use different words, which will change the meaning. So, for the boyfriend's mother to dislike the original poster so much, is her reason just because there are no boys in the original poster's family?

The OP might misunderstand if her boyfriend tells her why his mother objects. The OP thinks his mother wants control, but what is the truth? The OP can only analyze it from what her boyfriend has said.

Face the problem.

After her boyfriend's mother expressed her disapproval, did the original poster take the initiative to do something?

As a single-parent family, the boyfriend and his mother depend on each other. It is normal for the boyfriend's mother to choose a partner for her son. Parents can be worried about their child's choice of partner.

As an only child, her boyfriend is responsible for his mother. In the questioner's family, there is only an older sister and herself, so both sisters share the responsibility of their parents. Is this a pressure for you?

If the questioner and her boyfriend are sure this won't be a problem, they can still talk to her boyfriend's mother. Taking the initiative can help you control the conversation.

Consider the situation.

The boyfriend's mother has raised him alone. She still has a certain degree of control. If he continues with the relationship and then fights with her, something will go wrong. She will not be happy.

This shows that when his mother reaches a certain point, the questioner's boyfriend will listen to her. He chose to give up the questioner. This shows that the questioner's boyfriend lacks wisdom and emotional intelligence.

If you know yourself and your enemy, you can win every battle. The OP doesn't know her boyfriend's mother. She only knows her through her boyfriend.

If you learn about your neighbor's description of her, observe her daily life and hobbies, and find out that most people find her difficult to get along with, you should consider whether you can tolerate living with such an elderly person for the sake of the relationship.

Dating is just between two people, but marriage involves two families. Marriage often forces us to grow up. So, if you're reluctant to give up the relationship, think about reality.

I hope this helps the questioner. Best wishes.

Hello, question asker! I'm Jia Ao, and I'm here to help in any way I can.

I just wanted to say that I've read your post and I can see that you're going through a lot. It sounds like you're in a relationship and you've hit a bit of a snag. I'm here to help!

You've been dating a guy for three years. You've always had a great relationship, but he comes from a single-parent family and has been dependent on his mother his whole life. His mother has a strong desire to control him, and after meeting you, she began to oppose your relationship. She feels that since there are no boys in your family, your boyfriend has to bear a greater responsibility. You've been in this situation for almost three years, and he's been the one dealing with the pressure by communicating with his mother on his own. Every time they argue, it ends in a fight. Now he can't take it anymore, and suddenly he proposes to break up with you, saying that he doesn't want to hold you back. He really has no other choice. What should you do about this relationship? Should you continue or give up?

It's so hard when a relationship is going through a rough patch, no matter how good it is. I can see that your boyfriend is a great guy and has been dealing with a lot of pressure from communicating with his mother for so many years. It's so admirable that he wants to cherish you and has done so much on his own. I'm just wondering if there's still any misunderstanding about you?

Have you ever tried to talk to his mom? It can be really tough to rely on just one person in a relationship. It's so important to figure out the real reason before you make a better choice.

I just wanted to chat with you.

1. [Objective and calm analysis]

If this is the situation now, whether you continue this relationship or not, you are both under a lot of pressure. It's so hard when your partner's parents are opposed to the relationship. It doesn't matter how much you show that you really want to be with him, his mother will still think that you two are not suitable for each other. It's so sad when your partner feels full of guilt because of your parents' opposition. How will he face his mother in the future?

2. [Establish effective communication]

He told me, "He can't do anything about it. If things go on like this, something will happen. So he broke up with me." From his behavior, I can tell that his mother must have exerted a lot of pressure on him to oppose your being together. Things must have reached a certain level before he reluctantly broke up with you. I can understand that you don't want to break up with him. How could you just let go of so many years of feelings? But I believe you are even more unwilling to see him in trouble. If you really can't let go, you might as well go meet his mother with sincerity, communicate with her, and impress her with your sincerity. As parents, they are willing to do anything for their children. Try it with this mentality!

3. [Face it together]

A relationship is never just about one person. The most important thing to think about when deciding whether or not to continue a relationship is your boyfriend's true attitude. Does he want to work hard for your future? Does he have an opinion about your relationship? Does he really care about you? Once you've answered these questions, you'll know what to do next. Should you face it together with him? Or should you let him go so that he's not torn between two sides? The relationship is between the two of you, and you need to discuss it and face it together in the future. Don't worry too much, and just take it easy!

4. [Love yourself well]

No matter what, remember to love yourself. No matter what happens, take care of your emotions and feelings first. It's not your problem if your boyfriend's mother never liked you. You are special, really special. If he really insists on breaking up, just say it clearly and be open about your feelings. Be sad if you are sad, be hurt if you are hurt, and accept your emotions, no matter if they are good or bad. Remember, you are always different from others, just be yourself. Good luck and I hope everything is fine~

I really hope my answer helps you out! Sending you lots of love ??

Hello there!

A gentle pat on the shoulder: Because of the strong opposition from her boyfriend's mother, the questioner feels more suppressed and confused in the relationship with her boyfriend. It's so hard to know where the future is heading! The boyfriend, caught in the middle, has also become a victim of his mother's "control desire."

My boyfriend's family doesn't approve, and I'm really struggling to know what to do. I just don't know if I should give up. What do you think I should do?

Guess what! My boyfriend and his mother had another fight about me wanting to marry him. He told me that he couldn't take it anymore and that things would go wrong if they continued like this. So he broke up with me.

Oh, I don't want to break up! I don't know what they talked about, and I can't even begin to imagine how serious the consequences are. He suddenly and rashly broke up with me!

I'm really sorry, but I just can't accept this approach.

He said a lot of things about not wanting to hurt me or delay me, but we both know that he doesn't mean it. But he really has no other choice. I feel bad for him, but I don't want to just give up. What do you think I should do?

As we can see in the story, the main character has been in a relationship with her current boyfriend for three years and has a strong emotional foundation. If there are no excessive external influences, they will naturally enter the marriage hall. The external force currently comes from her boyfriend's mother's opposition, on the grounds that the mother does not like her. In response, she is unsure whether to give up or how to repair the relationship.

Historically, marriage has been between people who are a great match. They are more able to succeed together because their mutual needs and external conditions complement each other, and they can give each other the satisfaction they need, enhancing interaction and intimacy. This is also the reason why, even though "being well-matched" has always been interpreted as a class alliance marriage, it also has its own special value. Because everyone's economic strength, values, outlook on life, and the environment they were raised in are similar, their expectations and sense of security in intimate relationships are also complementary, thus forming a strong intimate relationship.

So, let's go back to the question. It looks like the boyfriend comes from a single-parent family. It's totally normal for him to depend on and trust his mother. This is something that two-parent families often neglect. This is also the reason why the boyfriend can't maintain his independent personality and make a true and inner decision when his mother doesn't accept the questioner simply because of her personal subjective thoughts. From another perspective, if the boyfriend is unable to stand firm in his own position and right to speak, then his control over his own future happiness will also diminish (the questioner needs to consider this carefully).

So, it's not just the boyfriend's mum who's influencing him. It's also the way he's been brought up. He's not been able to develop his own personality. And he's worried that he can't make the questioner happy. He also doesn't want to go into marriage on his own. He's not very independent and he doesn't have a lot of self-confidence. So, he's made a selfish decision in the relationship.

I know it's a tough call, but should you give up on this relationship?

From what I've said, I know you might feel pretty sad inside. I really want to help you, but I have to be honest. Even if you follow my advice and your boyfriend changes, if you don't change too, the problem will come back. And if that happens, you'll still feel the same way. So, you see, it's really important that you change too. I know you're the passive party in this relationship, but you can change that. You can be the one to take the lead.

Of course, the final decision is up to you! If you think your boyfriend will be able to work through any future issues and you still want to be together, you can definitely try to win him back. It's important to remember that everyone has their own struggles, and your boyfriend's fragility and sense of powerlessness are just part of who he is. Showing him tolerance and understanding is a great way to show him that you love and accept him, even with his imperfections.

I really hope I can give you a little bit of inspiration to help you out!

I'm sending you lots of good luck and encouragement! You've got this!