My brain can't figure it out. I have a good impression of men in their 20s. What's wrong with me?

It's not confusing to like someone. It's hard to let go of someone you like. It's not easy to be depressed and have insomnia. How do you comfort yourself?

Give yourself a hug for all you've done.

This can help you. I recommend the book The Power of a Single Thought. Many people with "viral beliefs" have regained their mental lightness because of this book and a few simple questions. Try it.

Ellis says people react differently to the same event. It's not the event itself, but how we see it. So, what we think is true might not be.

Then, ask yourself:

Is it true?

Is it true that he has a crush on you, likes the rich girl because of your review, doesn't like the girl, and has you in his heart?

☘️ Second question: Is that true?

☘️Question 3: How do you react when you believe those thoughts? Describe your feelings.

a) Can you let go of those thoughts?

b) Can you hold those thoughts without anxiety?

Fourth question: What if you didn't have those thoughts?

Ask yourself these four questions. Expressing your true feelings will help you see yourself and the truth.

You might accept things you've been reluctant to accept and rediscover yourself.

You can start anytime.

You have the freedom and right to love! Don't limit yourself.

You're never too late!

The world loves you. Love yourself and the world!

I understand. You're almost 40, you've never been in love, you have a crush on a young man, he falls in love with someone else, and you've been depressed ever since. How do you get over it?

A secret crush is beautiful.

To move on, you must understand yourself, support yourself, and not attack yourself. Why did you like this young man? There are several reasons:

First, you might have subconscious death anxiety. You're almost 40 and have never been in a real relationship, so you want to seize the tail end of your youth.

Second, you may have gained a sense of satisfaction and pleasure from interacting with him. For example, you said that you gave him a bad review, and he then switched to dating another girl.

You get nervous when you speak in the WeChat group and can't sleep. You want to impress him. You think he likes you.

You may need a relationship to fill the loneliness and emptiness in your life. Having someone to invest your energy in is good. Otherwise, you'll have to face your vulnerability.

Second, you have to face your feelings and accept them.

You need to go through some rituals to let go of this unrequited love.

If you find it difficult, you can also see a counselor to help you work through your emotions and needs.

Bless you!

Dear reader, I can appreciate your predicament. You have romantic feelings for a young man, but you are not in a formal relationship with him. Then you see him in a relationship with a young girl, and you experience a range of intense emotions, including sadness and insomnia. You are unsure how to navigate this challenging situation and escape the painful emotions it evokes. I can relate to your situation.

If one has never experienced the phenomenon of romantic love, it is possible that one has not had the opportunity to feel the emotions associated with loving and being loved by a romantic partner. What is the nature of love?

Love can be defined as a combination of passion, intimacy, and commitment. Upon meeting a younger man with a history of adversity, you formed a favorable impression of him due to your empathic response. Empathy, a fundamental aspect of human psychology, enables individuals to vicariously experience the emotions of others.

Empathy entails the projection of one's past experiences and feelings onto another individual. In this case, the subject in question assumes that the other person has a romantic interest in her, likely due to empathy. This allows her to understand and sympathize with the other person's feelings.

Nevertheless, it is evident that a genuine romantic relationship has yet to be established between the two of you. There is a lack of clarity regarding the nature of the affection between you, and there is no mutual commitment. It is evident that the two of you desire to be in a romantic relationship, namely that of a boyfriend and girlfriend, and to establish a dating relationship. It is possible that there is not love between you, but rather a relationship that exists beyond the boundaries of friendship and stops at love, akin to that which exists between two friends.

Subsequently, you provided a negative evaluation of the relationship due to your feelings of envy regarding certain aspects of his life. This led to a minor conflict, during which he developed an affection for a girl of a similar age. This resulted in your perception of being abandoned and unwanted, causing significant distress and insomnia. Internally, you held the belief that he still held romantic feelings for you and that he deliberately sought to provoke you by pursuing the other girl, given the ongoing disagreements between you.

I comprehend your train of thought and am aware of your desire to reestablish the amicable relationship you previously enjoyed. You seek his approval, love, and acceptance within this relationship.

However, before proceeding, it is imperative to ascertain the existence of love between the two parties. To this end, the book entitled "Knowing Love," which is a study of intimacy by two medical doctors from Haven College, is recommended for perusal. This will facilitate an understanding of the nature of love and intimacy and enable the determination of whether love exists between the two individuals. Following this, a decision can be made regarding the desired course of action for the relationship.

The book will provide the answer, and it is my hope that it will be of assistance.

Should one feel uncomfortable speaking in the WeChat group, it is possible to limit one's contributions or refrain from participating entirely. It would be prudent to await the resolution of one's concerns before addressing them. In the event that insomnia is a significant issue, it would be advisable to seek medical attention at a hospital, where a physician may prescribe appropriate medication. It is hoped that these difficulties can be overcome in the near future.

Hello, my dear friend. I can totally relate to your current state of mind. I know how it feels to meet someone you have mutual affection for and not knowing whether they really like you. It's a confusing and distressing feeling, isn't it?

They're always in a fantasy state of mind, and they're afraid to take action or seek proof because they think that if they do, their fantasies will be shattered and they'll fall into endless desolation. They feel like there's no hope or future in life. They don't know if they're worthy of the other person. Sometimes they feel inferior, and sometimes they feel conceited. They even get jealous of the other person's advantages, picking fault and criticizing.

In short, endless fantasies, conjectures, and assumptions are constantly being made and disproved. It's as if the process of seeking proof only exists in the internal struggle, never put into practice. As you said, age is the biggest obstacle in this relationship, making you afraid to seek proof. You rely on all kinds of fantasies to create the feeling of the ambiguous period in a relationship, allowing you to indulge and become unable to extricate yourself. I totally get it! Who doesn't love this feeling?

But have you ever thought, is this the first time you have been attracted to someone? If not, why not go for it and enjoy yourself?

I'm sure there's a good reason for this.

So, the answer is still age. At this age, people will face physical pressure, after all, various indicators of the body are unstoppably declining, and they will also face psychological pressure. Whether it is social opinion, relatives and friends urging you to get married out of concern, it will all invisibly put pressure on you. In addition, there is also pressure from yourself, that is, the unwillingness in your heart. You are unwilling to just let your youth pass, you want to experience youth again, experience the excitement you have never experienced. So, once a young boy enters your heart, you are doomed.

The physical and psychological pressures that people face in midlife, whether they come from individuals or society, can be summed up in the category of "midlife crisis." I want you to know that your personal crisis is part of a wider group of people going through something similar. It's okay to feel embarrassed or awkward, but remember that you don't have to get out of it as an individual. You're facing a crisis of your age, and that's something we all have in common. This boy is just a prompt, bringing to the surface the anxiety and unease you have hidden deep within about your age and what it represents.

So, my advice to you is not to worry about whether this boy really liked you, whether he will rebuild a relationship with you in the future, or whether that girl really liked this boy. Instead, I want to tell you how to accept yourself, let go, reconcile with your middle-aged self, face the various pressures you need to face at this age with a calm heart, and move towards the future with confidence.

It's so important to make sure you're taking care of yourself! Try to establish regular and healthy habits to help slow down the decline of your physiological functions and ensure you have plenty of energy and physical strength. When your body is still in good condition, you'll have a strong, stable, and sustainable vehicle to accommodate your mind, spirit, and soul.

When it comes to thinking, it's so important to summarize and refine your own life insights. Think about the little progress and gains you've made over the past 40 years. This is a great source of motivation for continuing on your life journey! We don't reach the realm of "no more doubts" by the time we're 40. It's through constantly summarizing, summarizing, and refining our insights that we achieve cognitive improvement and even leaps!

It's okay to take a moment to shift your attention away from this petty love and affection. Think more rationally about planning for your future life path. Once you've done that, your emotions will naturally stabilize, and your sleep will also improve. When sleep improves, your mind will become clearer, and you'll be more rational. This will continue in a virtuous cycle.

If you're in a WeChat group and you're always being affected by the person at the other end, you can simply quit the group to cut off the source of the disturbance. After you quit the group, you might feel an urge to re-establish contact. There might be some back and forth, but this is normal. We know that this process will be as difficult as kicking a drug habit, but once you start, there will come a day when you will "heal" yourself.

In short, may you control your own future path without resentment, hatred, aversion, fear, arrogance, or impatience, and be at peace in each moment. Each moment is an opportunity to help you grow and awaken. From this perspective, every moment is good.

Wishing you all the best!

Good day, my name is Strawberry.

After hearing the questioner's confessions and troubles, the questioner stated that he had previously heard a sad story about a man in his 20s. This prompted a positive impression of the man. If you believe this attention constitutes a form of liking, I would like to inquire whether you have similar thoughts about other men your age. For instance, when you observe men of a similar age, do you also experience a degree of shyness or curiosity?

The original poster did not initially have any feelings for this individual, but after learning about his unfortunate past, she began to pay closer attention to him. It is important to note that women are often born with an abundance of maternal instincts, and their interest in someone may not always indicate a genuine liking. Instead, it could be a result of sympathy.

In the context of liking, we have often made missteps. Frequently, we mistake other feelings for liking, and it is not until we have spent time together that we can discern what that feeling truly is.

If you are unable to determine the answer to this question, I believe it is inappropriate for you to question my positive impression of a man in his 20s.

It is essential to conduct a thorough examination of your own feelings and motivations.

The questioner indicated that he is nearly 40 years of age and has never been in a committed relationship. My understanding is that he has previously been interested in someone, but for various reasons, he may not have disclosed his feelings to the other person. After learning about the unfortunate history of this 20-something-year-old man, I have begun to care about the other person and pay attention to his words, actions, and mannerisms.

It is important to understand that liking someone is not the same as loving them. When we pay attention to someone, it is not merely a matter of liking them. We may have certain expectations or desires, such as learning how they recovered from an injury or whether they still believe in love. People are naturally curious, and we are constantly exploring new things because of our curiosity.

In the context of romantic relationships, age is not the primary obstacle. Instead, individuals often face significant personal challenges, including concerns about being judged by others, doubts about their ability to maintain the relationship, and fears of emotional distress. It is essential to recognize these internal obstacles and address them effectively to ensure a healthy and sustainable relationship.

Is the other person a reflection of myself?

The projection effect refers to the tendency to attribute one's own characteristics to other people. When forming an impression of others, the phenomenon of thinking that others have similar characteristics to oneself occurs. This is the cognitive barrier of projecting one's own feelings, will, and characteristics onto others and imposing them on others. (This explanation comes from Baidu.)

In your account, you stated that you are part of the same group and provided a negative assessment because you were envious of certain aspects of his situation. Upon observing the other individual's strengths and learning about his previous challenges, you drew comparisons to yourself and perceived him as advancing while you remained stagnant. This discrepancy caused you discomfort. Additionally, you aspired to emulate that person but lacked motivation, leading you to focus on the other individual and seek insights from him.

After learning that he had a girlfriend of a similar age, the questioner described the other person as a wealthy and attractive individual, indicating that the questioner is also monitoring this person's activities. It is possible that the other person only became romantically involved after the negative review was issued, but it is unclear how their relationship is progressing. Therefore, it is a mere assumption on the part of the questioner that they are together after the negative review.

It is important to accept reality and move on.

The individual in question has formed a romantic attachment with a partner. While the questioner's opinion is that the attachment is not genuine, the fact remains that the two are currently involved. Even if the relationship is not romantic in nature, it is still a personal choice. It is therefore necessary for the questioner to accept the situation as it is. In reality, there has been minimal interaction, and the questioner's assumptions about the other person's thoughts are therefore largely unfounded.

If you no longer wish to consider this individual, the most effective course of action may be to disengage from the group and refrain from further interaction. By refocusing your attention on other pursuits, you can gradually shift your focus away from this person, who has temporarily captured your attention. Engaging with a broader network and seeking diverse perspectives can also be beneficial in this process.

I hope this response is helpful to the questioner. Best regards,

Hello, I'm a heart coach. I'll listen to you with warmth and sincerity.

You like a guy, but the age difference makes you feel sad and lost. He's distanced himself from you because of something you did to him.

Let's hug and figure out what's wrong.

1. Don't judge.

"Almost 40 years old," "never been in a real relationship," "unbelievable," "big age difference," "my gut tells me it's not a good idea"... These phrases are negative.

It's shameful to be almost 40 and still not have been in love.

A woman approaching 40 who likes a guy in his 20s is not allowed.

We evaluate people and things using our own standards. Having values means having judgments, which are beliefs.

Within one's own knowledge, judgment leads to deviations. Having standards leads to judgment.

Judgment is good because it gives us direction. But it also solidifies our beliefs, which can lead to obsessions.

Obsession can ruin your life and your relationships.

If you're set in your ways, you'll stay stuck in your own world and lose your curiosity. It's like the labels you put on yourself and the limits you set for yourself because of your age and choices.

A fixed person loses flexibility, hindering communication. Once fixed, they cannot listen and label others. To listen, you must let go of your fixation.

?2. Be confident and pursue your happiness.

Love is free and empowering. It can transcend time, distance, age, and even gender.

Your confidence-when-they-dare-not-face-it-11280.html" target="_blank">self-worth is your own opinion.

If you are confident in yourself, you will not be influenced by others. Things like temperament, bearing, conversation, dress, appearance, and character do not depend on age.

You like that boy. Have you told him? You think he likes you too. Why not go for it?

Love and happiness don't depend on age.

This experience will enrich your life. I recommend the movie "Miss Granny" starring Shu Qi and Eddie Peng.

I hope this helps you and the world. I love you.

To keep talking, click "Find a coach" in the top right or bottom. I'll chat with you one-on-one.

Hello, host! I'm Xuelian, a listening therapist at Yixinli.

I'm really happy we met in the Q&A section of the platform!

I get where you're coming from. First of all, I want to say from a distance that liking someone and having a good feeling about someone may have nothing to do with age.

It's normal to reflect our emotions. If we like someone, we'll be obsessed with them, nervous, and our hearts will race. This is a normal emotional reaction. We care about the emotional expression and even the state of our relationship with the person we like. We want to give the other person a better feeling, so we become nervous.

Your description also said that your reason tells you that the age difference between you and him is too big, which makes you feel uncomfortable. It seems like your reason doesn't support your liking.

This will make you feel like there's a voice in your body telling you not to do so all the time. This feeling of being forced to shut down your rationality doesn't stop inside you. It's like a small flame that keeps burning!

At the same time, if you think he might have liked you and cared about you, will you feel even more conflicted? You also said that because you were jealous of some things about him, you gave him some bad reviews. Well, just as the project helped you feel more balanced in the quarter, it might also make you feel uncomfortable and confused.

There are a lot of different aspects to this emotion and feeling, and it's possible that we're unable to express it fully because of the limitations of language. Can we understand our own feelings and work out what is making us so conflicted?

Hello, dear!

I'm a listening therapist, Yong. From what you've told me, it's clear you have a good impression of a man in his 20s and have paid attention to him. You think he has a good impression of you too. Then, after you gave him a bad review, you found out that he is in a relationship with a beautiful, rich woman of similar age. So you are feeling depressed, sad, and have insomnia. You want to get over it. Let's analyze the situation and see what's going on together.

1. You're almost 40 years old and have never been in a real relationship. That's totally fine! Age has nothing to do with fate. If you haven't met someone who's right for you, you might not feel any inner stirrings and naturally won't fall in love.

2. You heard about the sad past of a 20-something guy and developed a favorable impression of him, paying attention to his words and deeds. Which part of his story touched your heart? What does that part represent to you?

Could it be that you sympathize with him? Or perhaps you've had similar experiences?

3. You feel that he seems to have had a good impression of you. This is your feeling, but it would be great to get the facts straight! Have you verified them?

Have you ever asked him? I'd love to know if there really is a romantic relationship between you!

If you haven't confirmed it, then you can only say that you have a secret crush on a guy in his 20s. That's perfectly normal! We all love beauty and like youth.

It's totally normal! Men feel the same way about women, and women feel the same way about men. It's just that you haven't really been in love before, and this guy's certain qualities or experiences just happen to have touched your heart.

4. You have a good impression of him, so why give him a bad review? I'm sure there's a good reason! What happened?

5. You found out that he's in a relationship with someone else, and it's making you feel a little down. You're ready to move on, right?

6. It's okay to like a guy who is more than ten years younger than you. It's also okay if he doesn't like you back. For someone approaching 40, I don't think it should be difficult, because there is no real relationship between you. It's all just speculation and a few bland exchanges. Don't blame yourself. Just enjoy the fact that you liked him. If he doesn't like you back, just let it go. Be yourself. The future is still full of hope. As long as you live wisely and actively, there will always be someone suitable for you. You just don't understand why you like a guy like that. It's okay if you don't understand. You don't need a reason to like someone. But if the other person doesn't like you, just let it go after a while.

You are so brave, and I admire you for that. Don't worry about it too much. It's just a matter of liking someone who doesn't like you back, right?

Please, don't hesitate to send me a private message if you need to discuss it in depth. I'm here for you.

Hello, my dear friend! I am Yong, your biggest supporter and listener.

Hello, my dear friend! I'll give you a warm hug from afar first.

It's totally normal to feel a bit down when your feelings for a man in his 20s are all over the place.

It's totally normal to have a crush on a man who is much younger than you. It's an expression and response to your own true physical and mental needs. When you listen to him talk about his sad past, you feel wanted, valued, and cared for. You also see more of a certain current self in his encounters and experiences. This has largely inspired you to emotionally resonate, and you want to give him more support. Behind the response is actually care, comforting the once-injured self. What do you think?

All those good feelings you have for him, the ups and downs you feel, and everything in between, all come from your inner imagination. You haven't told him how you really feel because you're afraid of being rejected. You've been imagining a perfect, romantic relationship with him, where you're in control and you never have to face rejection or being hurt by it. But, this kind of relationship doesn't nourish you. It just consumes you, making you feel insecure and afraid to start a real relationship. You keep falling into these narcissistic fantasies because of your inferiority complex and lack of confidence. What do you think?

As you give him your attention, you're also meeting your own inner needs. So, is there a better way to respond to and meet those needs? For example, you could try telling your family and friends about your true feelings and needs to gain their emotional support and acceptance. You could also try to better record your emotions and feelings in writing and get along with your inner self.

You can also nourish yourself by nurturing some interests and passions. It's a great idea to establish an intimate relationship that nourishes you both!

Of course, the first step to embarking on a nourishing intimate relationship is to fully accept yourself from the inside out. This means healing your narcissism, cultivating self-confidence, and overcoming inferiority complexes.

You can learn to love yourself even more by making a list of all your wonderful strengths. This will help you to see your amazing qualities and how you can be the best you can be. You can also try to feel more confident and valuable by keeping a gratitude journal.

It's important to remember that being rejected, rejected, or abandoned in a relationship is not because you are not good enough. Because relationships are the result of mutual management and interaction, the end of a relationship must be that both parties in the relationship have not done enough or there is a lack. So, while you might be feeling afraid, try to establish an intimate relationship. You are afraid because you want to do better in the relationship and continue to be loved. The good news is that you can actively learn the skills of managing intimate relationships to better improve your ability to manage intimate relationships and gain the ability to be loved in a relationship.

We really think you'll love reading How to Make the One You Love Love You Back, The Secret, and Intimacy!

I really hope my sharing can give you some support and help!

I love you, world! And I love you, too!

Hello!

I am a heart exploration coach, and learning is the treasure of the body!

From your description, I can feel your inner doubts, confusion, sadness, heartache, pain, and helplessness, and I'm here to help!

I'm not going to get into the nitty-gritty of your troubles because you have a crush on a guy in his 20s, but I'm going to give you my two cents on it for your reference.

First, you can't figure out why you have a good impression of a man in his 20s, which is great because it means you're open to new experiences!

There are probably two main reasons for this: first, the desire to love and be loved is one of the basic needs of human beings, and it's so exciting that you're experiencing this!

You said that you are a woman approaching 40 who has never really been in love, so it's totally natural that you're longing for love within yourself! And it's only natural that you've developed a favorable impression of him.

Second, there's a good chance you've developed a favorable impression of him because of your inner saving complex.

Because you mentioned that under certain circumstances, you heard about his sad past and then developed a favorable impression of him, and this favorable impression may very well be a desire to help him, a feeling of sympathy for him, and a desire to rescue him—it's so inspiring!

Sometimes people are willing to play the role of "I'm fine, I can help you."

Second, your pain may mainly lie in the fact that you are worried that you are not good enough for the other person (perhaps there is a big age difference, because you used the word "unbelievable," meaning that you "shouldn't" like him). But here's the good news: the desire for love in your heart has always been there! So, while it may be challenging to love someone who is not right for you, you can still embrace your desire for love and find ways to make it work.

This includes being a little jealous of some of his qualities, giving him a bad review, perhaps just to get his attention, and being a little nervous when you speak in groups, perhaps also trying to impress him and get his affirmation and recognition. The idea that you care so much about his opinion makes you a little nervous, anxious, and sleepless. Then there is your "imagining" that he has you in his heart, that he doesn't really like that girl, which means that you like him, but you're not quite sure or you don't dare to believe that he will like you back—and that's okay!

Now, let's dive into the third and final step to help you get out of this painful situation!

First, tell yourself that a big age gap is not a problem. As long as the two of you really like each other and there is love, you can absolutely resolve these problems!

Absolutely! This requires both of you to work together and face the opinions of the outside world.

This is your chance to discover all the amazing things about yourself! When you know your own worth, you can be confident that you are worthy of love.

Second, when you yourself no longer care so much about the age gap, you can find an opportunity to talk to him and tell him your true thoughts! Because only if you let him know what you are thinking can he be willing to get to know you and spend time with you, and then be with you.

Also, even if after communicating with him, he ultimately doesn't agree, you will no longer be so entangled in pain because you have verified your thoughts with action, which is also a way of accounting to yourself.

You will slowly accept the reality because you know the answer! This will help you get out of the pain.

Third, even if he doesn't agree to be with you or you break up, you'll still have the courage to confess. This will encourage you to enter into the next relationship with confidence. It will be a time of growth and gain! Thinking about it this way may also alleviate your current inner pain because you took action instead of staying in the "imagination."

Sometimes action is the enemy of all kinds of negative emotions — but it doesn't have to be!

I really hope my answer helps you! If you want to chat some more, just click on "Find a coach to interpret – online conversation" at the bottom and I'll be in touch!

Hello, host!

Just imagine for a moment how it would feel to be in your forties and meeting someone who makes your heart race!

The amazing thing is that you can meet someone you fall in love with at any age!

The great thing is, people will grow old, but the age of the heart is not necessarily the same as the age on the outside!

The great news is that as long as you remain innocent, you can always maintain a youthful mindset!

We seem to be used to using age as a standard, but there's so much more to it than that! There's no "appropriate" thing to do at a certain age.

The wonderful thing about love is that it has no strict age limits!

From the age of innocence and the beginning of budding love, no matter what age you are, the possibilities are endless!

The amazing thing is, you can meet your own love, regardless of age, status, or identity!

It's all about mutual attraction between people!

When love comes, it is irresistible! And when it goes, let it go!

All we need to do is feel it with our hearts when love comes to us, and cherish it!

When it's time to move on, go for it! Even though you're enjoying the current situation,

So, whether there is love or not, your heart will naturally be at peace and not be shaken!

Perhaps many people cannot be indifferent, and many people are torn apart by love. But that's okay! It just means that love is powerful and can affect us in different ways.

Is this kind of love really what I want? Absolutely!

If you enjoy a torturous love, go for it!

Everyone says that loving someone is painful, but it's also a wonderful experience! This kind of love is a bad karma, but it's a good kind of bad karma.

True love is a feeling of warmth, growth, and infinite nourishment!

It's not a heart-wrenching pain. This kind of love will only end in regret, so go for it!

Perhaps everyone's definition and experience of love are very different — and that's a wonderful thing!

You know best what you have experienced and felt!

Everything will become the nourishment for your growth and an incredible experience in life!

I really hope the original poster can find the love that truly belongs to them!

I am Warm June, and I love you, the world, and I love you too!