My child is rebellious, and I attribute it to my own fault. Now I'm seeking solutions. Can you offer any suggestions?

Dear questioner,

Hello!

From the description, it is clear that

(1) You are attributing your child's rebellion to your reasons.

(2) You are depressed, at odds with your family and colleagues, sleeping in a separate bed from your wife, and eating alone at a separate table from your colleagues. You are certain that your parents' bad personality traits have caused your 12-year-old daughter to be rebellious, angry, violent, and disobedient.

(3) Find an institution that provides psychological counseling for young children and get some suggestions.

If your child is showing signs of rebellion, irritability, or bad temper, you should seek psychological counseling for them. At the same time, you should recognize that your child's behavior is related to your parents, which shows that you love your child very much. You also have a certain understanding of your own behavior and personality traits. You are a very responsible father. Based on my understanding of your question, I believe that:

(1) You are wrong to attribute your child's rebellion to yourself. This is a misconception. Psychology calls this misconception over-identification or self-blame.

They blame themselves for misfortunes and accidents and take responsibility for the faults of others. At 12, children enter adolescence. The most important task for them is to break away from parental control and fight for independence.

Therefore, they will rebel and be in conflict with others. They are seeking self-identity in these rebellious acts.

This is a normal phase that every child goes through, so it's unfair to blame you for it.

(2) You are depressed, have conflicts with your family, or with your colleagues. You believe that your child's rebelliousness, anger, bad temper, and disobedience are caused by your bad personality. This is a cognitive misunderstanding. In psychology, this cognitive misunderstanding is called "generalizing from a partial case," which is "replacing the whole with a part." Your behavioral traits are one factor, but there are many factors that cause your child's rebelliousness, anger, and bad temper. Your child is in adolescence, the family atmosphere, the parent-child interaction and communication model, and the parents' improper parenting style can all cause your child's rebelliousness, anger, and bad temper.

Your child's rebelliousness and irritability are not the only factors at play.

You need to take action. Here's what you should do:

(1) You're right—your child's problems are related to you! While you're giving your child psychological counseling, you should also seek professional counseling. This will help you find the causes of your depression, problems with your family, and other issues, as well as some cognitive misunderstandings. In turn, you will find ways to adjust your emotions. Only when parents are emotionally stable can they create conditions for their children to be emotionally stable.

(2) Analyze your emotions, perceptions (thoughts), and behaviors in your daily life. This is called the cognitive triangle in psychology. For example, you think your child's rebellious behavior is your fault. This is your perception, or thought. What emotion does this thought arouse in you?

Is it self-blame, anxiety, or something else? What kind of behavior does this emotion cause you to have?

If you have these thoughts, you will feel anxious and self-blame, and this emotion will prompt you to pay more attention to your child, which will unconsciously pass on the anxiety to your child. At the same time, your excessive behavior will also cause your child to rebel.

Cognitive behavioral theory is clear: thoughts affect behavior, and behavior can be adjusted through changes in thoughts. If you don't have this negative thought, you won't blame yourself or feel anxious, and you won't pass on your anxiety to your child, nor will you pay excessive attention to your child.

You must analyze your emotions, perceptions (thoughts), and behaviors. Then, adjust your emotions through cognitive changes. This will create a harmonious family atmosphere for your children.

We are confident that the above suggestions will be helpful!

Good day. I am a heart exploration coach, and I believe that learning is the body's greatest treasure.

From your description, I can discern a range of emotions, including anxiety, worry, self-blame, pain, and helplessness.

I will provide you with a few suggestions for your consideration.

Firstly, I must admit that I am not sufficiently informed about the institutions you have mentioned in your description. As a result, I am unable to provide you with targeted advice. However, I am keen to assist you in alleviating your current concerns and anxieties. Given that you have highlighted that your child displays rebellious tendencies and that you attribute this to yourself, it is possible that an improvement in your state of mind may also positively impact your child's state of mind.

In other words, it is only possible to help your child to the best of your ability if you are in a good state yourself. It is only when a person takes care of themselves that they are able to take care of others.

Secondly, I advise you to undertake a comprehensive self-assessment. What are the reasons you believe your child's issues are your own? What are your primary concerns at this time? What specific factors are preventing you from selecting between these two options? By asking these questions, I aim to prompt you to revisit your own thoughts and feelings, engage in self-reflection, and communicate with yourself more effectively. This process will help you gain a deeper understanding of your own needs and preferences, enabling you to identify ways to gradually improve your situation.

I recommend that you concentrate on your own needs and consider how you can temporarily improve your own situation. Once you have done that, you will be in a better position to make an informed decision.

As an example, you may wish to engage in a discussion with a suitable, reliable individual in your vicinity. Should there be no such person available, you could consider consulting with a qualified counselor. This process can have a positive effect on your emotional state, as negative emotions can have a cathartic effect. Additionally, it may provide you with insights, support, and guidance, as well as a sense of direction on the next steps to take.

Additionally, you may wish to consider speaking with your child. Despite her rebellious nature, she may be amenable to discussing the matter. You could then inquire about her thoughts on the situation and her views on the two institutions. This process may assist you in gaining a deeper understanding of your child and fostering improved relations. Furthermore, it could also inform your decision-making process, as your child's perspective is valuable.

It is also advisable to allow yourself and your child some time to adjust to the situation. It is possible that your child's rebellious period is simply a phase, and that things will improve once it has passed. In the meantime, it is important to communicate effectively, remain calm and avoid emotional responses, and maintain an open mind to changes in your environment. By doing so, you can facilitate a gradual change in yourself and, subsequently, in your relationship with your child and others.

The following represents my personal opinion on the matter. I hope that it will prove to be of some assistance.

Hello! I'm a heart exploration coach. Life is an amazing journey, not just to appreciate, but to truly blossom!

The screen allows me to see a very anxious father who is full of concern and worry about his child. In particular, by the end of the article, you list the screened-out examination and treatment institutions, and I can't help but think of "seeking treatment indiscriminately when you are sick" and "being overly concerned." I am not negating these institutions, but what is most needed at the moment is for you to calm down first. Once you do that, you'll be able to see things more clearly and make better decisions.

Everyone is inherently wise. If we are calm enough, our original wisdom will be reawakened! And fathers are natural educators, rational and analytical. You've encountered some obstacles "for the time being" in the process of educating, accompanying, and interacting with your daughter, but you'll get through them!

On top of that, "one cannot make a sound with one slap," and your daughter's rebellion cannot be attributed entirely to you alone. Every member of the family has a part to play! The responsibility here is not only for the result, but also for the ability to change the result.

Parents are not omnipotent, and they need nurturing too!

The book Mother Evolution has an amazing proposal: a mother who is internally deficient and does not take good care of herself is like a car with an empty gas tank. No matter how hard you step on the accelerator, it is just "idling."

And the same goes for fathers! You've probably faced some challenges in your intimate and interpersonal relationships. Maybe you've experienced depression, disagreements with family members and colleagues, or marital separation. It's totally normal! Even if you want to love your children and family, you might feel a bit empty on the inside. But here's the good news: you don't need to be perfect to be a great dad or partner. You just need someone to fill your own emptiness so you can share your energy with others!

Allowing and accepting your own imperfections and seeing yourself as imperfect is also a process of self-healing. When you maintain this awareness, you'll realize that there's a reason for your daughter's rebellion and that your own life's confusion needs to be reconciled with your parents and with yourself. This "seeing" is in itself a process of growth and change—and it's an exciting one!

The amazing thing is that the healing that parents have not achieved will continue to be passed on to their children. We can't give others what we don't have ourselves, like unconditional love and acceptance.

2. Return to yourself and play your role to the fullest!

The family is an amazing place of spiritual practice! It's where parents and children empower each other and at the same time receive nourishment from each other.

The wonderful thing about family rank is that it affects the operation of the entire family. All you have to do is make sure everyone takes their place, and the family will naturally return to the normal track! Mom and Dad are great at nourishing and self-healing in a good intimate relationship.

In intimate relationships, we are also looking for our "ideal parents." We long to be satisfied again in intimate relationships with the unconditional love and acceptance that we could not get from our parents. When you take off your armor in front of your loved one and bravely reveal your true self, fear will disappear!

Children also have their own independence, and it's so important to respect and trust them! Let them go when they should, even though parents gave them life. They have the right to live their own lives and make their own choices.

It is so important to give your children support and help, and to give them reasonable advice. The more you believe in them and let them grow, the healthier and happier they will be!

Love yourself first, then you'll be ready to love others! Love is a wonderful thing, and the more you have, the more you can share with those you love. As parents, when your love is not abundant, the first thing to do is not to give it to your family or children, but to gain more love and fill yourself up! The best way to do this is to practice realistically, through reading and learning some psychology. With the understanding and help of your family, you can achieve healing quickly!

The great news is that you can find a psychological counselor who matches you on the Yi Xinli platform to get professional help!

I really hope the above is helpful to you! The world and I love you!

If you want to continue the conversation, I'd love for you to follow my personal page, "Heart Exploration Service"!

Good day.

From your question, I can see that you have a good sense of self and can understand your own predicament. You are aware that your own problems have caused your 12-year-old daughter to become rebellious, angry, short-tempered, and disobedient. For the sake of your child, you have found two counseling agencies, but you are unsure how to choose.

I understand that the psychiatric hospital at the local hospital is not on your list of considerations and has been ruled out. It seems that you have come to seek a solution.

From your description, it seems that you are looking for a counseling agency for your child. I would be happy to share my views with you.

First, regarding the two institutions you are considering, I believe there may be room for improvement in both. Is Chinese medicine psychotherapy and chakra healing effective?

It is certainly effective, but there is more that I cannot say here. In short, it would be wise to proceed with caution, for both adults and children alike.

I would advise caution when considering any promises that are guaranteed to work and that are sure to heal.

Secondly, it is important to consider that the family is a system, and that the rebelliousness of a 12-year-old child may be related to the atmosphere.

In your problem description, you mentioned that you are experiencing depression, have a challenging relationship with your family, and sleep in separate beds from your wife. You did not elaborate further, but I can imagine that the atmosphere in your home might be somewhat less than ideal. It could be perceived as dull, depressing, or alienating. In such a context, it's understandable that the child might mirror the mood of the adults, becoming as silent as you are.

Or they may attempt to effect change, perhaps in a way that is disruptive to the family dynamic. This could be the child's way of attempting to influence the family structure, or it could be a way of expressing their concerns about the stability of the family unit.

She has become the focus of attention, prompting adults to engage with her and strengthening the bond within the family.

It might be challenging to see an impact if you focus solely on counseling for your child. Even if the child is experiencing typical adolescent rebellion, it's also a time when they're seeking autonomy.

After consulting with the counselor, she has made some positive changes, but she still has to return to her family. If the atmosphere at home remains the same as before, it might have a negative effect on her progress.

Many people have this realization. You can be calm at school, at work, and with other people, and you don't even think that anyone can make you emotional. However, as soon as you go home and spend some time with your parents, you can easily become grumpy.

It's important to recognize that if you're not open to change, but your parents are, and they continue to demand things in the same way they always have, with a lot of finger-pointing and control, your child may find it difficult to maintain their positive outlook. It's essential to consider the influence of the environment.

If I might make one more suggestion, it would be that the child might benefit from seeing a counselor. However, I do feel that the issue is more complex than that. It might be helpful for you to consider seeing a counselor as well, whether it is for issues related to your depression, your relationship with your spouse, your relationship with your colleagues, or something else. I believe that making changes in your life could have a positive impact on the family atmosphere, the way you interact with your children, and your ability to influence your children.

I would like to suggest that you consider speaking with a counselor for yourself. It is possible that your child will follow your example if you make changes in your own life. Other respondents have provided helpful advice on how to find a suitable counselor.

As a psychological counselor, I find myself oscillating between pessimism and optimism. I believe in the goodness of the world and of human nature.

Hello, I could see you in your words.

After reading your description, I can see that you're anxious about your child's growth and that you blame yourself for their rebellious behavior. While I can see your reflection in your words, it would be better to treat each situation individually.

Let's chat about this.

You mentioned that you're dealing with depression, family and colleague conflicts, sleeping in a separate bed from your wife, and eating alone at a separate table from your colleagues. After reading this, I'd like to know:

1. When did you first realize you were acting this way?

2. What happened before these things happened?

3. How long have you been dealing with this depression?

4. What changes have you made to deal with this depression?

The above four points are meant to show you that there might be a number of reasons behind the emergence of most situations, and that they might not all be within you. They're complex, and exploring them in detail and retrospectively by dividing points is a pretty common method.

Then you say, "A parent's bad personality causes a 12-year-old girl to be rebellious, angry, violent, and disobedient." At this point, I'd like to know:

1. What experiences in her life have shaped her into who she is today?

2. What kind of child was she before she became this?

3. What expectations is she expressing through her current behavior?

The above three points are to tell you that rebellion is almost a necessary part of growing up. Most children who have gone through this have grown into the person they expected themselves to be.

After talking about this, I want to tell you something very important: Buddy, your daughter is already 12 years old, and she no longer wants to be seen as the good girl by her parents. It is only natural that she has begun to develop her own views on the things she experiences.

If you really want to understand your daughter's changes, I have two words for you: let go of your obsession and communicate on an equal footing. You're looking for ways to deal with your daughter's sudden changes during her growth. But remember, no one's perception is set in stone. The changes in your daughter may be hiding a greater expectation for you. And your daughter may be hoping you can understand and respect her ideas a little more.

There are a few things to think about and work out together with your daughter:

3. What kind of person do you want your daughter to become in the future?

What kind of person do you want your daughter to become in the future?

3. What kind of support do you think your daughter would appreciate from you in helping her achieve her dreams?

I'm looking forward to hearing your honest answers to these three questions after you've had a chance to discuss them with your daughter.

And here's another thing to keep in mind: it's more worthwhile to adjust yourself than to change others.

Okay, time is up, so we'll wrap up here. I hope the above responses and sharing will give you some inspiration on how to face and deal with this matter.

Take care of yourself and your daughter.

Hello!

Your child's behavior reflects your own. If you see yourself as "depressed" or "angry," your child will see you as "rebellious" or "disobedient."

You feel out of sync with the world. Your child is too.

Your daughter's behavior is making you anxious. By helping her, you are helping yourself.

Rebellious and irritable adolescent girls may not want to be interfered with by their parents. They may want to be independent and respected. However, they are not mature enough to effectively strive for independence.

This is a natural consequence. Parents may reflect on their relationship with their children.

Let your child learn from mistakes.

If you treat a child's behavior as a major problem, it can make a minor problem seem like a major one. This can make the child feel like you have a major problem, that you are abnormal, and that you need to be treated.

Don't overthink your child's problems. Don't make them worse. Just keep a normal attitude and pay attention to whether your child really needs help.

Do what the child wants.

You may need psychological support. Find a counselor to help you understand your relationships and face your anxiety.

If you can sort out this part of yourself, you will understand your child's inner conflicts and support them more effectively. Sometimes, when parents resolve their issues and become happy, their children's problems will heal without medication.

The child's behavior may be a way of expressing concern about the parent.

I hope this helps. I'm therapist Xu Yanlian, feel free to chat.

Best wishes!

Dear Sir/Madam, Thank you for your question.

I can discern your concern for your daughter and comprehend your feelings of self-reproach. You perceive yourself as responsible for your daughter's behavior. You have a distant relationship with your family and colleagues. It appears that you are dissatisfied with your interpersonal relationships, yet this does not cause you distress. Your primary concern is your daughter. She is only 12 years old, and you do not want her "bad temper" to negatively impact her relationships and result in a similar outcome to yours, do you?

It is evident that your primary objective is to ensure your daughter's future happiness and well-being. This aspiration is reflected in your decision to seek guidance from youth psychological counseling organizations. Your willingness to inquire about such resources demonstrates your profound concern for your daughter's future.

Let us examine this matter together.

[Rebellion in children]

The behavior exhibited by your 12-year-old daughter is a normal manifestation of the psychological changes associated with puberty. Her increased self-awareness is manifesting as a desire for independence, which she is attempting to achieve by opposing her parents. This is a typical phase in a child's development, and it is beneficial that it has prompted you to reflect on and attend to her needs.

However, this period is often distressing for parents. It is understandable that you may wish to seek professional assistance for your child, but it is important to recognise that the issues she is facing cannot be fully resolved by external agencies. It is crucial to provide her with the support and guidance she needs, particularly during this challenging phase of her development.

[Your Interactions with Your Daughter]

It is possible that these behaviors are perceived as problematic by the parent, but it is also possible that they are understandable. The child may be attempting to distance herself from parental control in this way.

At this juncture, your daughter requires a comprehensive understanding of her situation, respect for her autonomy, trust in her ability to navigate these challenges, and unconditional love. While you have expressed interest in psychological counseling for her, it is essential to recognize that the most crucial aspect is not the selection of an institution, but rather the provision of emotional support and guidance to your daughter, who may perceive counseling as a beneficial step towards personal growth.

It is imperative that you demonstrate unwavering respect for your daughter's opinions and perspectives.

[Your homework]

It is important to note that what may initially appear to be a child's problem may, in fact, be a family-wide issue. One potential solution is family therapy, which can facilitate the improvement of family relationships.

It is my sincere hope that these suggestions will prove beneficial.

I am your child, who has grown up in your care. I appreciate your attention.

Good day.

I appreciate that you are facing some significant challenges, including personal difficulties, family issues and your child's rebellious behaviour. In such circumstances, it can be helpful to seek professional support.

The two organizations you mentioned offer some unique solutions, but it would be wise to consider them carefully. It would be prudent to research whether their methods and theories are scientific and effective, and whether they can provide the help you expect.

When choosing an agency, you may wish to consider the following points:

It would be advisable to ascertain whether the agency in question has the relevant qualifications and certificates, and whether it has a good reputation and reviews.

It would be advisable to choose an organization with the expertise and skills to provide you with comprehensive and professional help and services.

It would be advisable to look for an agency that can provide you with a personalized treatment plan that better meets your needs.

Values and Philosophy: It may be beneficial to choose an agency that shares your values and philosophy, as this could help to foster a more trusting and receptive relationship with the help and services it provides.

Ultimately, regardless of the organization you select, it is important to maintain an open and cooperative approach. Additionally, it can be beneficial to seek the support and guidance of loved ones.

If you feel overwhelmed by these issues, you may also wish to consider seeking help from a counselor or therapist to address your emotional problems.

Dear Sir/Madam, I am sorry to hear that you are facing a family issue with your child's rebellious behavior. I understand that your child is currently 12 years old, which is a typical age for puberty. It is not uncommon for children to display rebellious tendencies during this period, and it is important to recognize that parents play a significant role in their children's upbringing. Best regards, [Name]

It is often the case that parents' behavior can have a significant and subtle influence on their children. Similarly, children's problems are frequently the result of underlying issues within the family unit. If a child displays rebellious tendencies, it is possible that the behavior they exhibit is a reflection of the dynamics present within the family.

From a child's behavior, we can ascertain the atmosphere of the family. For example, parents may reveal their state of mind. If you indicate that you are depressed, disagree with your family, disagree with your colleagues, and sleep in separate beds with your wife, these behaviors may indicate problems in your interpersonal relationships.

Given the circumstances, it is understandable that your mood is not particularly positive at the moment. It may be challenging to provide your child with a positive and supportive environment. In such a challenging environment, it is understandable that your child may be reluctant to engage with the outside world.

We can begin by helping ourselves, then move on to our children. If you are suffering from depression, you may require psychological counseling, which could include professional psychological counseling to help you regulate your emotions. It may also be helpful to seek psychological support to help you understand the underlying issues in your relationship with your family.

I understand that you and your wife currently sleep in separate beds. Could you please clarify whether this is due to irreconcilable differences? It is important to note that sleeping in separate beds can have an impact on the dynamics of a relationship. Even if two individuals choose to sleep in separate beds for reasons such as wanting to get a good night's sleep, it is understandable.

If there are any remaining questions, it may be beneficial to address your own concerns as a parent to ensure your child's well-being. It is important to manage your emotions effectively to maintain good physical and mental health.

Furthermore, it may be beneficial to temporarily disengage from certain interpersonal relationships with colleagues outside the company. It is important to remember that our primary objective at work is not to make friends, but rather to generate revenue and enhance our personal qualities and abilities. In light of this, it might be helpful to take a step back and examine the underlying reasons behind the somewhat strained relationships with colleagues.

I note that you have identified two institutions of interest: Xuanxu Taoist Academy offers psychological counseling for adolescents in a rebellious period, which is also known as Chinese medicine psychotherapy. The other institution, Chakra Healing Emotional Release, focuses on children's Chakra Healing to allow energy to flow. However, the People's Hospital Mental Hospital has a poor reputation and would not be a suitable option. Of the first two institutions, one appears to be related to Taoism and traditional Chinese medicine, which is a relatively unpopular school of thought.

It is uncommon to see cases where Taoism, Chinese medicine, and psychology are combined. Therefore, I advise against this option as it is not a popular choice. Similarly, I have limited knowledge of chakra healing, so I cannot comment on the second organization you have selected. It is advisable to avoid these two online organizations.

If you are seeking youth counseling, we recommend that you select a local professional counseling organization. You can search on a map and read the ratings and introductions to identify which counselors are professional, trained in a particular school of thought, or have long-term training experience. You can also use this platform to find more professional counselors who are skilled in addressing youth issues and family relationships.

If you require assistance in making your selection, our team of advisors is available to assist you on the consultation page. Some of our consultants have offline locations in your city, offering face-to-face, one-on-one, or one-on-many family therapy sessions. These in-person sessions often yield more effective results due to the enhanced communication and interpersonal dynamics. We encourage you to explore this option if it aligns with your needs.

Please advise.

Hello! I see you've asked for help, and I'm here to give it to you.

You attribute your child's rebellion to yourself, depression, disagreements with family members, disagreements with colleagues, sleeping in separate beds with your wife, and eating independently at a separate table with colleagues. The parent's bad personality has caused a 12-year-old girl to rebel, be angry easily, behave violently, and be disobedient. I am looking for ways to deal with it. I've seen two institutions online that seem promising: Xuanxu Martial Arts Academy focuses on psychological counseling for adolescents in a rebellious period (Chinese medicine psychotherapy), and the other institution, Chakra Healing Emotional Release, focuses on children's Chakra Healing to allow energy to flow, the touching and connection of hearts, and the release of suppressed emotions.

The local people's hospital psychiatric hospital has a bad attitude and relies only on cold and impersonal tools of analysis, with no communication and indifference. Therefore, I am ruling out the hospital, and I am now selecting these few options, knowing which one to choose.

You need to decide who is going to counseling first. If you plan to send your child to counseling, choose an institution that is more suitable for children.

If you want to see your child improve and grow, and if you want to improve your family's motivation, choose family therapy. Otherwise, if your child changes through counseling but you don't change at all, it will be futile.

You should also go to the hospital for a diagnosis so you know for sure. If the symptoms are severe, follow the doctor's advice, take medicine, and seek psychological counseling. A two-pronged approach is the best way forward.

I am a psychotherapist with a psychoanalytic orientation. I am not familiar with this kind of Chinese medicine psychotherapy you mentioned, but I can certainly look into it for you. I believe you are interested in Chinese medicine because you hope for fewer side effects and better results. The idea of another institution using chakra healing to treat emotions is unusual. In fact, it may also be a variation of emotion-focused therapy, which involves focusing on emotions to allow repressed emotions to flow and be released.

To address the challenges that children may face, it's essential to understand how the individuals involved perceive these issues. Frequently, the problem itself may not be the primary concern, but rather how it is interpreted and responded to.

I hope it might be helpful to share some personal opinions for the questioner's reference.

First, during adolescence, children develop rapidly both physically and mentally. They have a stronger desire for independence and freedom, and their needs increase in many ways. They may argue with their parents and family members, want to do things their own way, and fight for their own autonomy and freedom. This is a natural process of development, and it is important to recognize that it is not necessarily a negative thing.

Secondly, it is important to understand that a child's rebellion is often a reflection of their emerging sense of independence and autonomy, as well as an expression of their inner emotional experiences. If a child is consistently told to obey, not speak up, and not express their ideas at home, they may feel that their lives are controlled by their parents, which can naturally lead to discomfort.

In order to gain control of their own freedom and independent lives, they may sometimes argue back with their parents and rebel against their parents' coercion. From their parents' perspective, this can sometimes feel like a betrayal of their parents and a violation of their parents' wishes. It's understandable that they may not always consider the discomfort and unease that their parents' coercion and mandatory orders have brought to their children.

Then, the heart disease must be treated with heart medicine. Traditional Chinese medicine can indeed treat depression, but it may not fully address the underlying issues in family relationships or children's self-expression. As for institutions that study chakra energy, I believe that professional adolescent counselors may be a more suitable option.

The questioner may also wish to consider consulting with me. I have been working in the field of adolescent psychological counseling for several years and have some personal insights. This is just my personal opinion, for reference only. The questioner will of course make the final decision.

Hello. I'm writing to ask about the Xuanxu Taoist Temple and the Chakra Healing Center. The names sound very complicated. I'd like to know if the therapies of these institutions involve concepts and methods that have not been scientifically verified. Judging from the current mainstream theories, academic views, and treatment methods of psychology, it seems that the concepts and methods of schools related to traditional Chinese medicine have not been adequately verified and supported.

I'd say it's important to choose your topic carefully. Let's take a look at child rebellion.

A child's problems are really the parents' problems. The questioner is also very honest in their comment, saying, "My child is rebellious, and I'm to blame." Being able to understand this shows that the questioner has already reflected more deeply on themselves, which is not easy.

We can also take a closer look at how parents influence their children's psychological development.

1. The principle of a recorder.

Children's understanding, evaluation, and attitude toward themselves are all part of self-awareness. The age of 3-6 is a critical period for forming children's self-awareness. During this period, children are like a blank piece of paper. The tone, expression, behavior, and evaluation of parents toward their children will be completely recorded by the children's subconscious on this piece of paper.

If parents are more negative towards their children, the children will also be more negative towards themselves. If parents are more positive towards their children, the children will also be more positive towards themselves. It's a simple principle, really.

Psychology often says that children are like a blank canvas, and it all depends on their parents to shape them.

2. The kicking-the-cat effect.

It's important to remember that when parents negate, blame, criticize, or beat up their children, they're actually transferring negative energy. This negative energy originates from the parents themselves. The pressure and negative energy that parents experience at work, in their personal lives, and in their interactions with themselves are all subconsciously self-defeating mechanisms that seem reasonable and justified. For example, a father who has lost money playing mahjong and comes home to find his child watching TV may beat the child up. The ostensible reason is that the child is not studying hard enough, but in reality it is a covert way of venting the self-denying emotions of losing money.

As a result, many children have ended up taking on the blame for being their parents' emotional dumping grounds or emotional crutches.

The "kick-the-cat effect" is when strong people pass on their emotions to the weak. For parents, kids are the weak ones, but for kids, who is the weak one? Kids often take on these negative emotions, either by attacking themselves or suppressing them deep in the subconscious, waiting for the day they explode.

3. Redemption during adolescence.

When a child reaches puberty, they start to develop physically and mentally. Their body shape and strength begin to reach adult levels, and they start to become more aware of their own strengths and weaknesses. They have the physical strength to contend with their parents, and they become more irritable and sensitive as a result of sexual awakening. This can lead to them rebelling against and fighting back against some of their parents' negative emotional outbursts. They may argue back verbally and act defiantly, and in severe cases, they may have physical conflicts with their parents or run away from home.

Parents often see this as rebellion, but from another perspective, it's actually the child trying to protect their emotions like an adult and trying not to be attacked or denied.

The critical period for personality formation for children aged 3-6 has been missed, but this is actually a good period for repair. However, the vast majority

Many parents make mistakes when their kids are young, and they make more mistakes when their kids are teenagers. They try to control their kids by sending negative energy through criticism, blame, and denial, which makes their kids rebel.

But the fact is, the weak will eventually become strong, and the strong will eventually grow old. This conflict will only become more intense, and in extreme cases, it can lead to the child committing suicide or cutting off relations with their parents.

Once you understand this process, you'll have a better grasp on why kids rebel and how important parents are during adolescence. The Xuanxu Martial Arts Studio and the Chakra Healing Institute seem to be psychological treatments for adolescents.

I'd recommend that the questioner start with themselves and work on healing themselves through systematic psychological learning and treatment. The person who rings the bell must also untie it. Once the questioner's problems are solved and the way the questioner treats the world, themselves, and their children changes, their children may also change. What do you think, questioner?

A hug first! When dealing with your child's rebellious behavior, it is important to recognize that your child's problems are a reflection of family problems. And that's okay!

It's true! Your emotional state and family relationships can have a big impact on your child's behavior. So, when you're dealing with your child's rebellious behavior, you're also dealing with your own mental health and family relationships.

I'm excited to share some tips regarding the two institutions you mentioned, Xuanxu Dao and Chakra Healing Emotional Release!

1. Choose carefully: Before choosing a facility, it is recommended that you conduct in-depth research and find out more about it. You can do this by searching online, reading reviews, asking friends or professionals in the field about the services provided, treatment outcomes, teaching staff, etc. — and you'll be amazed at what you discover!

2. Expertise: This is a really important factor when choosing a medical institution. Make sure that the institution you choose has a legal business license and professional qualifications, and that the staff have the relevant professional background and experience.

3. Individualized: Each child's situation is unique, and that's what makes them special! When choosing a treatment method, take into account the child's specific situation, including age, personality, and the cause of the problem.

4. Integrated treatment: A child's rebellious behavior is often not caused by a single factor, but may involve psychological, family, school, and other factors. The great news is that integrated treatment and intervention will be more effective!

And there are so many other great methods that can be used, including family therapy, psychotherapy, and educational guidance.

5. Family participation: Family support and participation is very important in the treatment of children. Even if you choose an external institution for treatment, the active participation and cooperation of family members is also required. This is a great opportunity for families to work together to support their child's recovery!

6. Hospital choice: You mentioned the attitude problems at the local people's hospital and psychiatric hospital. You're absolutely right—the doctor-patient relationship is a crucial part of the treatment process! If you're not satisfied with the services of the local hospital, you have the exciting opportunity to look for a specialist hospital or clinic in another area. You could even consider consulting some well-known psychology experts online!

7. Active communication: This is the golden rule! Establishing good communication channels with your children and listening to their thoughts and feelings is the key to resolving problems. At the same time, it is also very important to maintain good communication with your spouse and family to face problems together.

8. Self-care: While you're tackling your children's problems, don't forget to take care of yourself! You mentioned feeling down, and if things are getting tough, it's a great idea to chat with a professional counselor or therapist.

And finally, the most important thing you can do is be patient and understanding when dealing with your child's rebellion. It will take time and effort, but with the right approach and sustained effort, you can absolutely resolve the problem!

I really hope these suggestions are helpful for you!

Hello, I can see you're going through a rough patch. It's clear you're struggling with depression, and it's affecting your relationship with your family and colleagues. It's also understandable that you're feeling isolated, sleeping in separate beds with your wife and eating alone at a separate table with your colleagues. It's natural to feel like your child's rebellion is a reflection of these challenges.

You're really struggling, taking on too much responsibility. It's not entirely your fault, sweetheart.

A 12-year-old girl is entering puberty and is naturally a bit rebellious. This is a challenging time for her, as she's learning to navigate her own femininity and is looking to her mother for guidance. It's a tough journey for all parents, including her mom. It's so important to support her mom and shower them both with love.

It's so important during this time to give your little one the love and care of a same-sex parent. This is a wonderful opportunity for them to learn about being a man or a woman.

It's true that a parent's bad personality can lead to problems in the child, but similarly, a parent's bad relationship can also lead to problems in the child. This is a relationship issue that needs to be viewed from an attachment perspective.

It's totally normal for a 12-year-old girl to be going through some big changes as she grows up. Puberty can bring on some mood swings, and it's possible that's what's going on here. It's also possible that she's struggling with some emotional challenges, like depression. It's important to remember that kids' brains are still developing, and they might not be able to express their emotions in the same way as adults. So, it's not unusual for kids to express their feelings through anger or tantrums.

I know you're not keen on hospitals because of their bad attitude, but the Mental Health Law says that only hospitals can diagnose. I'd still suggest that you take your child to the hospital for a diagnosis first to rule out mental or psychological illness. As for the two institutions you like online, they're both a bit metaphysical. They're not purely psychological counseling, but rather more religious. You can try them, but it depends on whether your child accepts them.

I really think that the best thing you can do is to get your child some help at a hospital, where they can get a proper diagnosis and regular psychological counseling. While you're doing that, it would also be a great idea to try to improve your relationship with your child's mother. Having a happy, loving family environment will do your child so much good, and it'll give them a sense of security that nothing else can.

The child's rebellion is attributed to the questioner. It seems like the questioner is dealing with a lot of issues, including depression, intimacy, and interpersonal relationships.

I'm not sure where these concepts originated. It seems that the questioner has accepted them, but when seeking a solution, it seems that they are looking for some kind of adolescent or child therapy. It seems that they are also treating the child, releasing the child's energy and emotions!

From my perspective, it seems that parents haven't fully accepted the idea that a child's rebellion is often a result of their own or their parents' actions or personalities.

First, it's important to understand what we mean by "rebellious behavior." Kids who crave parental love, appreciation, and recognition may express their emotions in ways they perceive as safe, to get your attention and care.

If parents don't understand what their kids are trying to say, or if they blame them or stop them from expressing themselves, it can make kids more rebellious and parents more frustrated. The more parents misunderstand their kids, the more rebellious their kids will be.

This is why psychology says that children's rebelliousness is down to their parents.

The questioner said he's depressed and has some relationship issues, which means he's got low energy, no idea how to handle negative emotions, and no time to focus on or engage with his kids.

So, the questioner should tackle his own issues before worrying about the child's. You could look for a psychologist on the platform to help with your own problems, as well as learn how to communicate without violence with your child and understand the reasons behind your adolescent's rebellion.

Have faith in your love for your child and you'll see things improve!

Hello! I'm Zeyu, and I'm here to help!

What kind of answer do you hope to get? We're here to help you find the best way to deal with the problem. Do you want to filter from these options, or do you need other suggestions?

I noticed that the questioner said, "My child's rebellious behavior is due to me." I'm excited to share that this is not true! Whether a child is rebellious or not cannot be directly attributed to the responsibility of a certain person. It is not necessary to find a "scapegoat" and blame all the problems on that person. This is unfair to that person and will also encourage the spread of the problem.

Now, let's think about what the child's goal is in doing this. The questioner may say it's because of me, because of the family, etc., but is that really the case? Let's explore this together!

In this regard, if the questioner is eager to solve the current problem, the absolute best choice is actually family counseling! The advantage of this approach is that it can solve problems from the family and can also solve problems between the questioner and his wife and children.

As for the two institutions mentioned by the questioner, I would personally recommend against choosing such a metaphysical school. Of course, I am not saying that this method of consultation is ineffective, but that in terms of the problems currently encountered by the questioner, these methods may be less helpful to you and your family. Time, energy, and even trust are also a cost. For the time being, if possible, we should try to avoid pitfalls when making choices.

Regarding the depression mentioned by the questioner and the local people's hospital psychiatric ward, I can tell that the questioner isn't a fan. That's okay! We all have different preferences when it comes to hospitals. If the questioner wants to give it another try, they can make an appointment with a well-known psychological clinic and specialist hospital. I firmly believe that professional doctors and hospitals can help us overcome the challenges we're facing. The fact that the questioner hasn't given up yet shows our unwavering determination to make a change.

If the questioner is temporarily reluctant to contact the hospital again, there's no need to worry! We can still try to get help through psychological counseling. In terms of depression, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a great choice. If the questioner has their own ideas, they can also choose the therapy or school of thought they think is best.

If the questioner is temporarily at a loss as to what to do in the face of current problems, then now is the perfect time to sort out the problems encountered and list the most urgent one to solve in order of priority!

The good news is that the questioner can also use the method of asking questions to list the current problems one by one. This is a great way to obtain effective information that will be really helpful in solving the problem!

I am confident that my answer will be of some help to you.

It is normal for children to show some rebellious behavior when they reach adolescence. You don't have to take all the responsibility on yourself. It is good to find the reason in yourself, but the family is a system. If the whole family can cooperate and adjust together, the effect will be better. The institutions you mentioned do not seem to use orthodox psychological treatment methods, so I am not sure about the effect. Mental hospitals mainly do not do psychological counseling, but mostly assessment and diagnosis. Their work also tends to be drug treatment. If the child does not need to take medicine, you can first choose to do psychological counseling.

If you and your wife are willing to cooperate, seeking family therapy is the best option. If it is psychological counseling, you must decide whether you will go for counseling yourself, or whether your child will go for counseling, or whether you will each go for individual counseling separately.

If you want to find a more professional psychological counseling institution and a matching psychological counselor, you need to consider the following aspects:

1. Look at the time of establishment and scale of the organization.

Psychological counseling is a relatively new field. In fact, the development of domestic psychological counseling was still in the preparatory stage (publishing articles, translating books, etc.) between 1978 and 1986. It only entered its initial stage of development from 1987, and it has gradually begun to rise in recent years.

As we tend to trust hospitals with a long history when seeking medical treatment, we can also use the number of years a counseling institution has been established as a reference criterion for determining its professionalism. An experienced counselor will provide visitors with different forms of assistance and solutions based on the specific counseling issues they are facing. Their ability to do so effectively comes from their extensive experience.

Long-established psychological counseling institutions have more experience in case counseling and more senior counselors. They can accurately identify visitors' problems and solve them in a timely and comprehensive manner.

Counseling institutions that have been around for more than five years have passed the industry and market tests and are a good choice.

In recent years, psychology has become more accessible, and in response to market demand, many institutions that used to focus on emotional issues have transformed to focus on adolescent psychology. Among them, there are more businessmen who, after seeing national policies, have begun to get involved in the adolescent education sector. They may not have undergone systematic psychological training and learning, but they have simply recruited a few people in the same industry to start doing "business" in order to make money.

Given the current market situation, it is crucial to be discerning and able to distinguish between the different types of institutions.

Large psychological counseling institutions have professional quality control, more counselors to choose from, and it is easier to match the right counselor. Long-standing institutions with a nationwide chain of offline locations will screen counselors who have the required qualifications and have passed relevant audit standards before signing them up. They also regularly conduct counseling quality control, which is an assessment of the counselor's professional competence.

A psychological counselor is not omnipotent. A reliable psychological counseling institution is like a general hospital, with a well-established team of professionals doing professional things. If a psychological counseling institution has a group of experienced psychological counselors with both ability and integrity, some good at psychoanalysis, some good at cognitive behavioral therapy, some good at developmental psychology, some good at hypnosis, some good at long-term psychotherapy, etc., and each team member specializes in a particular field, they can provide greater assistance to visitors in terms of their studies, careers, social lives, emotional intelligence, love, marriage, family, etc. This is done through one-on-one psychological analysis, psychological assessment, self-meditation training, cognitive stress reduction training, psychological senior consultant reviews, etc. The goal is to help the seeker create a happy and happy life as much as possible, to achieve the goal of "spreading psychological knowledge, solving psychological problems, improving psychological quality, and creating harmonious relationships" for society.

Furthermore, large psychological counseling institutions can secure more resources for selecting counselors due to their overall operations, and they can also provide more cost-effective counseling fees. They will also prioritize the customer experience in the service process.

Furthermore, large psychological counseling institutions can secure more resources for selecting counselors due to their overall operations, and they can also provide superior value for money in terms of counseling fees. They also prioritize the customer experience in the service process.

A psychological counseling institution that has been established for a long enough period of time and is large enough is undoubtedly more mature and reliable.

2. Ensure the institution is properly qualified and that the process is standardized.

2. Ensure the organization has the necessary qualifications and that the process is standardized.

Make sure you ask about the business qualifications recognized by national law, whether there is a fixed place of practice, whether there is a certain degree of national and social recognition, whether a consulting agreement will be signed with you, whether there are confidentiality clauses, and whether prices are clearly marked. Find out in advance about the relevant charging standards and methods, and make sure you know whether the content of the service is strictly confidential or if you will be forced to consult.

You must also determine whether the agency provides professional services. One type of service is guaranteed by the counselor's technical proficiency, while the other depends on professional supervision. Supervision means that, during the counseling process, the counselor must accept guidance and supervision from professionals with professional supervision qualifications.

Furthermore, you must ascertain whether the agency's services are professional. One is contingent on the counselor's technical proficiency, while the other hinges on the availability of professional supervision. Supervision entails that, throughout the provision of services, the counselor must receive guidance and oversight from professionals with the requisite qualifications.

Furthermore, you must ascertain whether the agency's services are professional. One is contingent on the counselor's technical proficiency, while the other hinges on the availability of professional supervision. Supervision entails that, throughout the provision of services, the counselor must accept guidance and supervision from professionals with the requisite qualifications.

Before consulting, you should also ask the institution and the counselor to provide proof of their professional supervision. In addition to asking the counselor to provide proof of his relevant qualifications, you can also ask the institution and the counselor to provide proof of their professional supervision.

3. Ensure the fee is reasonable.

A fee is an essential aspect of the counseling relationship.

Charging a fee is an essential aspect of the counseling relationship.

Freud was clear: "Payment is a means of maximizing the patient's motivation for treatment. It demonstrates the importance of the patient's commitment to psychotherapy, and the amount of payment should be set at the maximum the patient can afford."

Charging a fee also makes the client value the counseling. Free counseling makes the client feel that counseling is not important. Studies have shown that paid counseling is more effective than free counseling.

Payment is a sign of commitment and a guarantee of investment.

Paying a fee is the best way to establish an equal consulting relationship. It allows the visitor to freely choose the consultant and the consultant to supervise the visitor and promote the progress of the consultation. Psychological counseling is highly technical work that requires a lot of time and effort. Psychological counseling professionals need a solid foundation of psychological expertise, a high level of professional ethics, and continuous professional learning. All of this requires continuous financial investment to ensure that psychological counseling practitioners can survive and develop.

Free psychological counseling is usually more casual and concise. In free psychological counseling, the visitor can say whatever they want and leave whenever they want. There is no counseling relationship, so there can be no full counseling trust.

Freud was clear: "Psychotherapy that doesn't charge a fee is meaningless."

Fees are necessary.

If you are asked to pay more and get a deeper discount, or are asked to purchase many courses, or are given extended consultation time without your permission and charged for the extension, you need to be careful. You may be being "ripped off."

In terms of the consulting fees in our local area (Shaoxing, Zhejiang), the general fee is 300-500/hour, and a senior consultant charges about 1000/hour. Some institutions charge tens of thousands of dollars per hour, or even more, which is clearly unreasonable.

4. Look at the word-of-mouth reputation of past visitors.

Read the comments and feedback from previous visitors to the counselor if it is an online consultation. Listen to the feedback from previous visitors if it is an offline consultation. The feedback from visitors is often more objective and true, and it helps us make a selection.

5. Find a counselor who matches your needs and is professionally competent.

A counselor's professional competence includes their professional knowledge, professional skills, knowledge of psychology, and the skills acquired through various trainings and workshops.

Counselors have a clear professional orientation. They are trained and qualified in one of the major schools of thought, such as humanistic, cognitive, behavioral, or psychoanalytic. They may also have specialized training in techniques like drawing analysis, sandplay therapy, narrative therapy, or family therapy. They have all received systematic training and learning, obtained relevant qualification certificates, and have a certain amount of work experience.

Additionally, ensure the counselor has a comprehensive understanding of various aspects of life. When counseling adolescents, for instance, the counselor must possess expertise in areas such as outlook on life, interpersonal relationships, personality development, social adaptation, learning methods, adolescent physical and psychological issues, love and marriage, and more.

It is also important to ensure that the counselor has a wide range of knowledge and life experience. They must be able to understand and deal with a variety of issues that adolescents may face, including outlook on life, interpersonal relationships, personality development, social adaptation, learning methods, adolescent physical and psychological issues, and love and marriage. A counselor who has a wide range of knowledge and experience is better equipped to understand these issues and help adolescents overcome challenges and build self-confidence.

A psychological counselor must possess not only psychological expertise but also knowledge of pedagogy, sociology, and basic medicine.

Professional counselors develop their knowledge structure in many ways to provide correct inspiration, education, and guidance to their visitors.

Psychological problems have a significant impact on people's lives and work. When choosing a psychological counseling institution, you must choose a professional and formal institution. A reliable institution will have a professional counseling environment, a professional appointment process, reasonable fees, professional and reliable counselors, etc.

Psychological problems have a significant impact on people's lives and work. When choosing a psychological counseling institution, it is essential to select a professional and formal institution. The reliability of a counseling institution is reflected in its professionalism, including a professional counseling environment, a professional appointment process, reasonable fees, professional and reliable counselors, and so on. Additionally, it must have a set of professional management and supervision systems to ensure the best interests of visitors are served.

If a counseling agency makes you feel comfortable and safe enough to start opening up and sharing your experiences, feel trusted and dare to let go of your concerns, experience ease and comfort, and be willing to express your true thoughts and emotions and face the real you, and after the consultation you feel hopeful, believing that change is possible over time and that you are growing, then you know you're in the right place.

A counseling agency should make you feel comfortable and safe enough to start opening up and sharing your experiences. You should feel trusted and dare to let go of your worries, experience ease and comfort, and be willing to express your true thoughts and emotions and face the real you. After counseling, you should feel hopeful and believe that change is possible and you will continue to grow.

This psychological counseling institution must be a trustworthy and reliable professional organization. You will definitely step out of your psychological predicament and embrace a better and happier life through psychological counseling here!

Hello, I'm Qu Huidong, a psychotherapist who can help you understand your problems better.

The person asking the question realizes that their own actions have caused their child to act out, but they're looking for a solution that will fix the child, not themselves. This makes me wonder why they're not focusing on healing themselves instead.

It's not uncommon for kids to get sick in a family, more often than the adults. In my experience, many parents aren't aware of their own state, and we have to work hard to make them aware. Now that you know the cause is in you, the solution must also be in you!

You might say, "I'm too old to change!" Is that really true?

If you can show others how to make changes, it'll benefit you and those around you. Your perspective on the world and state of mind will change. Let's look at the issues you and your daughter are facing. You say you're depressed, so you're isolated from others. Your daughter is irritable and her relationships with others may always be tense and conflictual.

Have you ever considered that your daughter might be releasing the emotions you've been holding in? People who are depressed often direct their anger inward.

I think that as she's trying to figure out who she is, this little girl, who doesn't know what her real needs are, is expressing her father's negative emotions in a way that makes sense to her.

If your daughter were less rebellious and more gentle, it would be much easier for her to fit in with her family. She's using her differences to challenge the status quo. I'd say she's quite clever, and this is the natural power of life, the power to save oneself! The child does need psychological help, and what she needs is professional and systematic psychological support. She also needs to learn how to find her place in this family.

If you feel like the local doctors aren't helping, you can also get help from a psychologist on the Yixinli platform. You've already done a lot to find a solution for your child's mental health issues, and you can still love your child. If you love others first and love yourself, if you're well, your family will be well, and if the situation improves, why worry about the seedlings not growing well?

It's important to take care of your own mental health first!

Best,