My dad's "eye killing" deeply impressed me in my mind, how should I pass this test?

Dear friend, I understand exactly how you feel. Confronting the shadows of the past and the struggles within is undoubtedly a challenging journey. Your experiences, especially those about your father's gaze and the sense of powerlessness related to money, have undoubtedly caused you significant distress and distress.

These feelings have undoubtedly affected your self-perception and daily life. Childhood experiences have a profound impact on personal development.

These experiences, especially interactions with significant others, are internalized as part of our self-perception and affect our behavior and emotional responses without our awareness.

Attachment theory definitively explores how early parent-child relationships affect an individual's emotional development and interpersonal relationships. This theory is clear that an insecure attachment style will lead to various emotional and interpersonal relationship challenges in adulthood.

The look in your father's eyes and your sense of powerlessness over money are undoubtedly manifestations of this insecure attachment style.

Everyone has encountered challenges during their development. These challenges affect us in ways we cannot predict. Your feelings and experiences, no matter how difficult, are part of your personal history. They have shaped who you are today.

Your sense of powerlessness in relation to money is likely connected to your relationship with your father during your childhood. This feeling likely stems from a deep longing for paternal love and an interpretation of an indifferent gaze.

In psychology, there is a concept called "projective identification." This refers to an individual projecting their feelings and expectations onto others and expecting others to respond in a specific way. You have likely unconsciously projected your feelings towards your father as a child onto money, which has led to your current feelings of powerlessness.

Furthermore, the memories you mentioned emerging during meditation are likely "traumatic memories" in your subconscious. These memories may be repressed, but they will surface under certain triggering factors, such as meditation.

You must realize that the hurt from childhood is not your fault. It is the result of the communication styles of the parents in that era, who may not have been aware of it. When you feel those negative emotions again, take three deep breaths and tell yourself, "It's not my fault, and I can choose not to be controlled by these emotions."

These feelings are a product of the past and do not represent you in the present or future. Express and deal with these emotions by keeping a diary or drawing.

Writing down those indescribable feelings, stroke by stroke, is the best way to vent emotions and embark on a journey of self-discovery. In the process, you will see your inner world more clearly, find the root cause of the problem, and thus find a way to heal.

Furthermore, you must have a frank conversation with your parents. Find a suitable time to sit down with your father and share your feelings and experiences with each other.

Such communication not only enhances mutual understanding, but also helps us reconcile with the past and release the negative emotions that have built up.

When we feel unable to face these emotions alone, we must seek help from trusted friends or professional counselors. They can provide different perspectives, help us better understand ourselves, and find solutions to problems.

You must learn to care for yourself if you want to become strong. Every step you take along the way—from treating your body well to affirming your own value to accepting your own imperfections—is an important step in self-growth.

When our inner strength is strong enough, we will not be swayed by external evaluations. We will face every challenge in life with a more determined attitude.

As the poet Rabindranath Tagore said, "If you cry because you have lost the sun, you will also lose the stars." Let's get rid of those unnecessary burdens, embrace our inner child, and take control of our lives.

When our core is stable, we will find the true meaning of life and welcome each new day.

Hello. I can see from your description that your father's gaze from your childhood is still with you. It seems to convey a sense of condescension, rejection and scrutiny. It's as if he's asking himself, "Are you worth it?"

Just picture how lost and helpless the younger you would have been at a time when you hadn't yet established your own identity.

All kids want and expect love and acceptance from their parents. When they're rejected, they often don't blame their parents, but instead doubt themselves: Am I not good enough, so that my father is like this? Am I worthy of love?

Such doubts can affect how you see yourself, especially when you're faced with authority or social "value scales" (like money). You may even start to examine or judge yourself without realizing it. When we rely on external recognition, we feel a loss of control and therefore a strong sense of powerlessness.

It's tough to change the influence of the original family in a short period of time, but we know it's not just the family and parents that influence us. In the long journey of life, we'll come into contact with all aspects of society, including school, peers, work, colleagues, and neighbors. Through learning and self-awareness, we can correct or repair some of our original understanding.

For instance, you may realize that some of your thoughts and states are influenced by past experiences, and that these factors don't define who you are or how your life will turn out.

When you meditate, think about the past and present, discuss it openly, and think about it, you're promoting your own growth. You can explore what money means to you, how you want to deal with your relationship with your father, and how you want to build your life in the future based on your own needs.

Focus on yourself. What do you need? What do you want to do? What can you do? You'll find your sense of self gets stronger.

Good day. I am a heart exploration coach, Gu Daoxi Fengshou Slender Donkey.

The impact of harm caused by loved ones is significant. The questioner's experience is distressing. I extend my support and empathy to the questioner.

The questioner may endeavor to comprehend the rationale behind undertaking an action with the intention of acquiring something, rather than becoming enmeshed in a particular form of self-harm and being unable to extricate oneself. In the event that the meditation experience evokes a negative response in the questioner, it may be advisable to take a moment to pause and then resume the practice once the emotions have been processed.

The questioner may endeavor to discern the underlying reasons behind the profound imprint left by the father's piercing gaze and the pervasive sense of helplessness in financial matters during meditation. Is the questioner currently confronted with significant financial challenges?

Specific elements of reality may evoke latent anxieties.

As Adler observed, difficulties often originate from interpersonal relationships. The questioner may experience sadness, yet it is possible that she still desires affection from her father. Attempting to identify one's genuine needs could facilitate a shift in her cognitive patterns.

It is a fallacy to believe that one can be a qualified parent simply by taking an exam. Not all parents are qualified, and it is unfair to blame the questioner for her father's poor treatment of her. She should not feel sad about it.

As the adage states, it is not the fault of the victim that they were traumatized; rather, it is their responsibility to recover. The questioner might endeavor to become aware of and adjust to:

The question thus arises as to whether the individual in question possesses the capacity to decline the unreasonable treatment meted out by their father. When the individual is aware of their current strength, it will serve to mitigate the anxiety caused by their father's actions.

One might suggest that lowering expectations of one's father could be beneficial. It may also be helpful to accept that he has consistently treated you in an unkind manner. This could assist in reducing feelings of unease.

What is the rationale behind the questioner's profound sense of helplessness when she contemplates her father's "killer stare"? Does she perceive that despite her best efforts, her father will inevitably continue to treat her poorly?

It is also possible that the father is still in control of his current life. Attempting to comprehend one's internal fears and prepare for the worst will result in a reduction in anxiety.

It would be beneficial to distinguish between facts and feelings. Would the father intervene at this time? Or is it unlikely that one will ever be able to extricate oneself from this emotional state?

If one is unable to extricate oneself from the situation, will attempting to accept it alleviate the questioner's distress? It may be beneficial to prioritize relaxation, as this could potentially reduce the questioner's anxiety.

It is important to distinguish between a theory of cause and a theory of purpose. A theory of cause will result in an inability to escape the shadow of past trauma in future lives, whereas a theory of purpose will lead to a belief in one's own power and control.

One must endeavor to let go. Forgiveness is about making others feel better, while letting go is about reconciling with the past, allowing oneself to face past hurts with greater openness, and moving forward with a lighter heart.

It is recommended that the following texts be read: "Living a Life Where You Don't Call the Shots" and "The Courage to Be Hated."

I wish you the best of success!

Hello, question asker! I'm Jiang 61.

I'm glad I could answer your question. You asked, "My father's 'killer look' is deeply etched in my mind. How do I get past this?"

"I have carefully read your brief introduction, understood your feelings, and I am ready to discuss them with you.

1. Introduction

You said, "I have been meditating for a while now, but my father's eyes are always in my mind. I feel a deep sense of powerlessness when I think about money. I think about when I was a child, and every time I think about rich people, I think about my father. There are no words, just a look, cold, contemptuous, despising, arrogant, disdainful, condescending, powerful, even vicious, and occasionally pitiful. I can't read tenderness or love in his eyes. I feel like I'm still living in the past, trapped in the patterns of my childhood."

1⃣️ Meditation

Meditation is the answer.

Meditation is a form of altered consciousness that enhances self-knowledge and well-being by accessing a deep state of tranquility. It involves stopping the functions of the cerebral cortex, which controls intellectual and rational thought, and allowing the autonomic nervous system to take over.

It is a kind of mental self-discipline that stops the consciousness from all external activities and achieves a state of selflessness.

Eyes

When you meditate, your mind will conjure up your father's eyes. In particular, when it comes to money, rich people, you will think of your father and his eyes.

2. Impressions

Impressions

Since childhood, you have been deeply impressed by the look in your father's eyes. You see indifference, contempt, disdain, arrogance, scorn, contempt, power, and even malevolence, and occasionally pity, but no warmth or love.

Associations

Meditation reminds you of those unhappy childhood memories. These memories are painful for you and make you unable to control your emotions.

You want to know how to not be disturbed by your past life.

2. Analyze the causes of painful memories.

1. Subconscious

The subconscious mind is the cause of these painful memories.

The subconscious mind is the part of the human mind that is not consciously aware of mental processes that have occurred but are not in the conscious state.

Your subconscious mind is associating this with your father's eyes.

Your father's eyes have always been etched in your memory, leaving a profound impact. Meditation is about silencing the noise and tuning in to your inner landscape. These unabandoned eyes in your subconscious mind can be easily triggered by certain scenes and words in meditation.

2⃣, Psychological Trauma

Psychological trauma

Psychological trauma, also known as mental trauma, refers to abnormal psychological, emotional, or even physical states caused by relatively serious traumatic events in life. This abnormal state may be relatively mild and can heal spontaneously after a period of self-adjustment.

Some traumatic experiences have a long-lasting effect, even a lifelong one. In psychological and psychiatric terms, more serious traumatic experiences are classified as post-traumatic stress disorder.

Let's go back to the past.

Your description reveals that you have experienced mental trauma caused by money. This trauma was not addressed in a timely manner, resulting in its deep burial in your subconscious. Consequently, when you encounter money, the image of your parents arises, evoking feelings of disgust.

3⃣, longing

Expect.

Expectations are used to express longing and yearning for a certain moment or thing in the future. They usually involve the expectation of a good outcome or the longing for someone or something.

There are two types of expectations: positive and negative. The positive type is about anticipating positive changes in the future. The negative type is about making up for past shortcomings or fantasizing about the future.

I am yearning.

The title owner's subconscious mind was triggered by the few incidents that their parents did to them. These included when they sprained their ankle and no one cared, and when their younger sister was sick but asked them to take care of her. This resulted in a desire for their parents' attention, and resentment towards them.

Here's what you need to do.

You want to know what you can do to stop your father's past gaze from continuing to affect your mood. I think you should:

1. Change the past.

Understand the events that influenced.

First, we must identify the event that led you to view your father's demeanor as cold and indifferent, an image that has remained with you to this day. We must also understand your expectations at the time.

Say goodbye to the past.

Then, we must say goodbye to this event. We can do so using the technique of an empty chair or in writing, or by talking to someone we trust.

When we say goodbye, we tell the father of meaning how we felt when we saw his eyes, our mood, and our expectations at that time. At the same time, we make sure to hear what the father was thinking at the time and what he expected of us.

Finally, tell him you accept and forgive your immature father at that time and you are ready to start being yourself.

2⃣️, Unload the baggage

Unload the burden.

By saying goodbye to the past using the above techniques, we can expose the negative image and gaze of our father that has long been entrenched in our subconscious mind and completely unburden our minds.

Establish an image of money.

Once you let go of the past, you will see that money has a new meaning and image in your mind. You will realize that it is your driving force for progress, a symbol of success, and a representation of a better future.

This way, when you encounter financial problems again, your thoughts will be different.

3⃣, Build self-confidence.

Love yourself.

You were originally longing for your father to look at you with tenderness and love in his eyes. This reflects your lack of love and care, as well as a lack of security and confidence. As a result, you lack the courage to challenge this kind of gaze.

Start learning to love yourself now. Pay attention to your needs and expectations. Meet your needs in a timely manner. Make yourself feel important, valuable, and cared for. And feel secure.

Build self-confidence.

We love ourselves, build a sense of security, and at the same time, we understand ourselves and know our abilities, areas of expertise, interests, strengths, and weaknesses. We can then do what we can do, what we like, and what we are good at. We can be ourselves and build self-confidence. At this point, we will not be afraid of anyone's gaze.

Questioner, you can deal with fear by saying goodbye to the past, unloading the burden of thought, and building self-confidence. Loving yourself is the beginning of building a sense of security and being yourself.

This is the only way out of the gloom and into living your own life. Go for it!

I wish the questioner a happy life!

Good morning, my name is Qu Huidong, and I am a psychological counselor who employs the use of imagery in my practice.

The questioner has discovered, through recent meditation practice, that her father's gaze is consistently indifferent, contemptuous, and even somewhat malicious. This gaze has led the questioner to associate her image of her father with that of wealthy individuals and money, which has resulted in a profound sense of powerlessness. This sense of powerlessness has constrained the questioner, as if she is still trapped within the patterns of her childhood.

If, during meditation, one were to identify the "tenderness and love" in one's father's eyes, would this result in healing or salvation? Empirical evidence suggests that this is not the case.

This response may be perceived as harsh, but it is, nevertheless, accurate. The assumption that one's sense of fulfillment is derived solely from external sources is erroneous. Frequently, the initial feeling of contentment gives way to a deeper sense of distress when confronted with the realities of life. It is important to recognize that the circumstances of one's father, which may have caused significant distress, are beyond one's control. Disappointment and a sense of powerlessness can intensify feelings of helplessness.

The objective of meditation is not to attain a state of "fulfillment," but rather to provide the opportunity to remain engaged with negative emotional experiences such as pain and fear. Frequently, when confronted with challenges, individuals seek to resolve them. However, the most effective approach to addressing a problem is to remain with it. When one discovers that they can continue to function well despite the presence of the problem, the problem itself is no longer considered problematic.

Let us consider the relationship between "money," "your father's gaze," and the individual from an imagery perspective. Money is imbued with a multitude of symbols, including power, status, success, and personal value. In certain cultural contexts, money is also regarded as immoral and even the root of evil, resulting in a complex and contradictory array of attitudes towards money.

In a family unit, the father is often regarded as the foundation and embodiment of authority. When a father directs a cold and contemptuous gaze towards his child, the child experiences not only his father's dissatisfaction and disappointment but also doubts their self-worth.

An individual who is somewhat doubtful about their self-worth and who is faced with conflicting money will naturally feel overwhelmed by the conflict and imbalance. At this juncture, it is imperative to recognize that we tend to utilize money as a standard for evaluating ourselves and others, failing to acknowledge that money itself is merely a tool and a resource.

It is erroneous to assume that money is the be-all and end-all of life, or that one's father's gaze represents the entirety of one's life. When we are presented with the chance to identify and address the underlying issues and conflicts, we have the opportunity to undergo a transformative process and achieve inner balance and growth.

Moreover, it is advisable to engage in meditation practices under the guidance and supervision of a qualified professional, as self-practice when self-awareness is not yet well-developed can potentially lead to adverse outcomes. It is essential to exercise caution when undertaking such practices.

I am sending you my best regards.

Good day. My name is Coach Yu, and I would like to engage in a discussion on this topic with you.

The stories of adults often conceal the presence of a wounded child. The emotional setbacks and disillusionment experienced in the relationship with parents in childhood will be reconstructed in negative transference. Trauma is defined as an abandonment or betrayal that remains in the heart, representing an extension of impulses that were once rejected or suppressed.

As the original poster indicated, my father's "killer stare" has left a profound imprint on my psyche. His eyes convey no warmth or affection, and it seems as though I am still trapped in the past, unable to break free from the patterns of my childhood.

The feedback and behavior of parents during childhood represents the primary means through which individuals come to understand themselves. If parents provide negative feedback, fail to offer encouragement, or even treat their children with indifference and contempt, children may develop feelings of shame, leading them to believe that they are inherently flawed and incompetent. This self-blame and self-attack can further intensify feelings of shame, thereby exacerbating the fear experienced by the inner child.

As the questioner wrote, whenever I think of the wealthy individuals from my childhood, all I can think of is my father. There are no words to describe the look on his face; it was cold and arrogant, contemptuous and powerful, even vicious, and occasionally pitiful.

Once the trauma experienced by the inner child has been identified, the question then becomes how this trauma can be healed and the inner child made strong.

Indeed, it is often the case that our vulnerability in the present is a consequence of our emotional state, which may be characterised by the presence of an injured inner child.

If an individual's childhood sense of inferiority is not adequately addressed, it can manifest in adulthood as a tendency to react negatively to situations that may otherwise be perceived as similar. This can manifest as various negative emotions, such as worry and fear, as well as physical reactions.

While childhood experiences may have caused us some harm, we can rely on our own strength to recognize the helpless and lonely self from the past, accept the self that was unloved, and attempt to reconcile with ourselves.

In such instances, it is recommended to take three deep breaths and repeat the affirmation "None of this is my fault!" to oneself in order to facilitate the release of negative emotions.

Additionally, one may attempt to document their current emotional state. The written account is solely for the individual's benefit, therefore, it is encouraged to be candid and transparent in the expression of one's feelings. This approach facilitates the comprehension of the genesis and consequences of emotional experiences, while also assisting in the identification of the fundamental issue.

It is possible to open one's heart and identify an appropriate occasion to engage in dialogue with one's father about one's childhood experiences. This process is not intended to hold anyone accountable, but rather to facilitate a deeper understanding between the parties involved, strengthen the parent-child relationship, and assist in the process of reconciling with the past.

It is also possible to seek assistance, as this may facilitate the overcoming of the issue in question. It is recommended to identify a family member or friend who can provide positive support and with whom one can discuss the matter. Should the need arise, it is also possible to consult with a counselor, as emotional expression can help to alleviate the distress and obstructions experienced.

Additionally, individuals endeavor to cultivate self-love by treating their bodies with kindness. They recognize that they have matured, possess the capacity to safeguard themselves, can affirm and fulfill their own needs, express and communicate their thoughts, and accept and appreciate their imperfections. They view other people's opinions as inconsequential. They learn to introspect, embrace their inner child, and become their own inner parent. When their core is stable, they discover the center of their lives, the center of love, and the center of happiness.

It is recommended that the reader consult the following text: Embrace Your Inner Child.

I am honored to be able to answer your question.

I empathize with your situation. Childhood experiences often leave a significant and enduring imprint on individuals. However, it is crucial to ensure that past experiences do not impede our present and future prospects.

The following suggestions are designed to assist you in letting go of the past and freeing your mind.

1. Conduct a deeper review of the negative emotions triggered by your father's gaze and assess their impact on your behavior and decision-making. Understanding these emotions is the first step towards change.

2. Seek professional assistance: If you find that you are unable to move on from the past, it would be prudent to seek the help of a counselor. They can help you identify the root cause and provide effective solutions.

3. Meditation and Self-Awareness: Continue your meditation practice to gain insight into your inner world. Through meditation, you can become more aware of your emotions and thought patterns, and implement positive changes.

4. Develop a positive mindset: Work on changing the way you think about your father and the way you perceive yourself. Attempt to view things from a positive perspective and cultivate self-confidence and self-esteem.

5. Communication and Understanding: It is recommended that you share your feelings with a close friend or family member, or communicate with your father or the people closest to him to gain insight into the reasons for his behavior. By resolving misunderstandings or understanding him, you can better address past issues.

6. Focus on self-growth: Direct your attention toward personal growth and development. By acquiring new skills, engaging in leisure activities, or pursuing a career, you can gradually move on from the past and focus on building your future.

7. Learn to release emotions: When experiencing feelings of depression or anxiety, it is beneficial to find a way to release those emotions. This could include engaging in physical activity, listening to music, or maintaining a journal.

8. It is essential to address your inner fears and confront the past directly. By doing so, you can facilitate the gradual healing of your heart and the release of negative emotions.

Finally, it is important to allow yourself sufficient time and space to address past issues. Change is a gradual process, so it is essential not to rush it.

Provided you persevere, you will be able to overcome the past and embrace a brighter future.