My grandmother suddenly passed away. I feel like I can't accept it. I thought I could get through the Spring Festival.

Hello, question asker! I can see the confusion you are facing, and I'm here to help!

You're going through some emotional challenges, but you'll get through them! Please allow me to give you a warm hug again.

My father passed away 16 years ago, also on the afternoon of the Chinese New Year's Eve.

I was in London, England, taking a professional exam at the time, so I was unable to see him one last time.

My father had many relatives overseas, so his funeral was delayed until around March 9th.

At the time, my situation was exactly the same as the situation you are in now, and I was ready to take on whatever came next!

I knew I was going to my father's funeral, but I just felt totally numb. I didn't feel anything at all!

I'm so excited to tell you about the five stages we go through when facing bereavement!

1.) Denial

2.) Anger Anger is a natural and healthy response to loss. It's okay to feel angry. It's a way of processing the pain and frustration that comes with change.

3.) Bargaining

4.) Depression Depression is a normal reaction to the sudden death of your grandmother. It's okay to feel this way! You can overcome it with the help of a professional counselor.

5.) Accept

(The above reference information comes from Zhihu.)

It's totally normal to have trouble accepting the sudden death of your grandmother.

Here's a great idea! If you really miss your grandmother, you could write her a letter to express your feelings.

You can also use the amazing "empty chair technique"!

The "empty chair technique" is a great way to connect with your grandmother in a meaningful way. All you have to do is sit in a chair and imagine that she's sitting in the other empty chair. Then, say all the things you want to say to her, including how much you appreciate her being there for you.

If you're not sure how to use the "empty chair technique," don't worry! You can always seek help from a professional counselor.

Another great idea is to organize all the photos of your grandmother during this time. You can make a memorial album to look back on and remember all the wonderful times you had together!

And then show it to your children, and they will show it to their children!

And then, some of grandma's teachings will continue from generation to generation!

When my mother passed away, I was sad and upset, but I also felt a sense of freedom.

But her college friends gave me the best advice:

My mother has only left the body, but her soul is always by my side in a way that I cannot see, continuing to watch over and bless me!

I really think you'll feel better if you think about it from this perspective!

If you're interested, I highly recommend reading books on grief counseling and grief therapy!

I truly believe that although your grandmother has passed away, she would still hope that you can continue to live a strong life! Don't wallow in the grief of losing her. Get up and live your life to the fullest!

I really, truly hope that you can find a solution to your problem very soon!

That's all I can think of for now, but I'm excited to see what else I can come up with!

I really hope my answer is helpful and inspiring to you, the questioner! I'm the answerer, and I'm learning every day.

Here at Yixinli, we love you and the world loves you too! Best wishes!

Hello, I'm Fei Yun, your heart exploration coach. 2023 is going to be a great year!

I totally get it! Losing a loved one suddenly, right when the Spring Festival is approaching and everyone is celebrating and reuniting, is really tough. I'm here for you, and I'm sending you a big, warm hug. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I can feel your sadness, and I'm here to help. First, let's talk about the death of your grandmother. It's natural to feel sad when someone you love dies, and it's especially hard when it's unexpected. You and your family may not have had the chance to say goodbye or grieve, which is completely normal.

The good news is that we learn to separate from an early age. The birth of a child separates us from the symbiosis with our mother, and going to kindergarten, starting work, getting married, and so on – almost every stage of life is based on separation.

Our three years of experience fighting the pandemic has also gradually strengthened our immunity against the ultimate separation of death. Perhaps for your family, you were also psychologically prepared for your grandmother's death long ago, but emotionally, you still "hoped" that this outcome would not happen or would come later.

When the moment finally came, the emotions and thoughts that you thought you had long been "prepared for" still uncontrollably "broke loose." And it was incredible! Because this is love, the love flowing between you and your grandmother, you cannot bear to be separated from her.

On the other hand, you also feel a sense of loneliness within. This comes from the special time of the Spring Festival, a time when families normally get together and are happy. But because of your grandmother's death, this happy and peaceful atmosphere no longer belongs to you and your family — so you get to create a new, wonderful one!

You are immersed in the grief of losing a loved one, and in this emotional atmosphere, you feel that you and your family are isolated from the outside world. This Spring Festival, this happiness and joy have nothing to do with you. But guess what? You can still enjoy this festival! You just have to be careful not to show even the slightest sign of happiness or enjoyment, because that would be disrespectful to your grandmother.

Isolation from the outside world and from others is lonely and makes you feel pity for yourself and your family. But my dear, there is active isolation and passive isolation. Passive isolation is a sense of loneliness, while your active isolation is due to the death of a loved one.

There is also a sense of ritual in bereavement. You are with your family. Even though Grandma has passed away, a part of her blood still flows through your veins, and her love for you and your family is still there. So, as long as you are accompanied by the love of your family, you will never be lonely!

It's time to let yourself grieve! There are so many ways to express your grief, whether it's tears, silently bearing it, or remembering the past. And don't be afraid to express your reluctance to let go of your grandmother in your own way.

When you are aware of your emotions, you can also perceive the emotional needs behind them: the reluctance to part, the attachment to loved ones. And the best part is, love is always there! Have a great mourning with your grandmother to achieve a formal separation.

I really hope the above is helpful to you! And I just want to say, the world and I love you! ??

If you want to continue communicating, just click "Find a coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom. I'd love to communicate and grow with you one-on-one!

Hello, I'm a heart coach. Your problem is that your grandmother suddenly passed away. You thought you could get through the Spring Festival, but you can't.

Your grandmother died before the Spring Festival. You weren't ready, and you're sad. You want to cry, but you can't. You're depressed.

The New Year is a happy time, but it's hard to be happy when you're sad.

The New Year and Spring Festival make the questioner feel that if Grandma makes it through, she'll stay for another year.

Nothing in the world is permanent. Birth, aging, sickness, and death are not things within my control. Crying and grieving can relieve sadness.

Don't keep your sadness inside. You can cry even in happy times. Grief is a good thing.

Lu Xun said, "Human joys and sorrows are not connected."

Some people are happy while others are sad. Pay attention to your own feelings. Learn to take care of your emotions and feelings. This helps you understand others and take care of their feelings.

Empathy is the ability to understand others.

I hope the original poster can understand and accept their sadness and observe their emotions without judgment.

When you're grieving, take an hour or more to sit with your sadness.

Then write down the memorial service you held for your grandmother, how long it took, and everything you thought and felt.

Transform sadness into action, use ceremonies to express your grief, and you will be stronger.

I hope you feel better soon. If you want to talk more, you can click below to find a coach or chat with me one-on-one. Good luck.

Hello! I'll give you a warm hug from afar first.

I'm grateful you saw my request for help. I hope my sharing can support and help you.

It's normal to feel extreme grief when faced with the sudden death of your grandmother. You might feel filled with pain, sadness, and a desire to cry but be unable to when faced with such a loss. It's important to allow yourself to experience these feelings without judgement. You can try to relieve the emotional intensity of the harm to your body by taking deep breaths, which will help you better experience and feel your grief.

When someone close to us dies suddenly, we're likely to feel extremely sad and grieve deeply. Our thoughts and feelings for our loved ones can make it hard for us to accept that they're gone. We might even blame ourselves for not doing enough for them or feel angry that we can't repay them. These are all normal reactions to a major loss. There are five stages of grief, and you're probably in the first two, which are bargaining and depression. It's important to accept your feelings and try to find comfort in them.

Because the Chinese New Year can be a stressful time, it can also affect the people around you who love you and the people you love. What do you think?

One reason it's so hard to move on from losing a loved one is that we can't imagine being reunited with them in some way. It's not just the physical loss, but also the loss of their beautiful personality traits and spiritual strength. But we can still live out those parts of them in ourselves. The more we miss them, the more we can try to live up to their example. So, death can also be seen as a kind of eternal life. What do you think?

At the same time, our extreme grief is due to our excessive thoughts and love for our loved ones. Then those who truly love us certainly don't want to see us in extreme pain because of their departure, right? We carry the love for our departed loved ones and try to live out the good personality traits in them, so that our lives become better and more fulfilling. This is the best way for us to accept and return love.

What are your thoughts on this?

I hope the rest of your life is filled with love.

Hello, questioner!

I don't know how old you are or how close you were to your grandmother, but from your question and her sudden death, it's clear you're struggling to accept it. You feel like your grandmother had a special place in your heart, and you're really hurting. But you can't express it, you're full of sadness, but you can't cry. It's really frustrating, so I'm here for you!

We can't control everything that happens in life. We can't bring the dead back to life. We can't do anything to change the way things happen, no matter how much we try. Things just happen, and they often don't turn out the way we imagine. As you said, we might have seen a little improvement in your grandmother's condition, and she could have survived the Spring Festival and lived one more year. But it happened just the opposite. Before the Spring Festival, the elderly passed away!

I don't know if you've heard of this, but I've heard of the phrase "a flash of light before the end." I think what happened to your grandmother may be a reflection of this phrase. What you saw may have been the stage of a flash of light before the end in the elderly person, which created an illusion for you. When you were full of hope that you could spend this Spring Festival happily with the elderly person, you suddenly had to accept the fact that your grandmother had passed away. It's really the most tragic thing in the world. Give you another hug!

On this day of family reunion, especially during the past three years when we couldn't move around due to the pandemic, and now, we can once again see the sights and sounds of the world, which may have intensified our own feelings like those of Grandma. I really understand you, but what can we do if it has happened? I'll share my views based on my personal experience.

First, accept that Grandma has left us forever. I saw what you said, and I thought I could get through the Spring Festival. Grandma must have been sick for a while, and there were also dangerous times. I think that if this is the case, then you should have all fulfilled your filial duties before she got sick, and fulfilled your responsibilities as grandchildren. The elderly person felt the love for her, and she should also be particularly satisfied and should have no regrets. If this is the case, I think that even though Grandma suddenly passed away and didn't make it through the Spring Festival, there is nothing for her to regret. In this way, we also have to accept the fact that Grandma may not have lived longer in this world, but can we think about it this way? Because Grandma must have suffered a lot during her serious illness, so in this way, it can be considered that she suffered less.

Second, you should know that there's a time limit to acceptance, and it can be repeated. You might also feel angry. When you feel angry, don't judge or blame yourself. Accept your anger. This is also what most people face when a loved one suddenly passes away. It's a loved one who suddenly passed away. It's also a process that needs to be gone through because, in the process of getting along with the elderly, we may feel that we haven't done a good job.

But now, there's no way to make up for what happened, so they'll blame themselves and then get angry at themselves. It's also totally normal.

It's also possible that you'll find yourself thinking, "If only I hadn't died, if only we'd done this, maybe I wouldn't have died." This is what we call bargaining, and it's an emergency response we have when faced with the sudden loss of something. As you said, "What might I have done?"

If you find yourself thinking this way, just let it happen. Don't judge it or deny it. If you feel sad about it, then feel the pain in your heart and find a way to let the sadness out.

At last, let it all out. I don't know how your grandmother's funeral went. If you didn't let your emotions flow during the ceremony, I don't think you did. You said you wanted to cry but couldn't. Now, you can try the empty chair technique in psychology. If you're not familiar with it, you can search for it on Baidu. Tell your grandmother how you feel. I think you can do this. You can also try writing therapy, or find someone close to you and tell them. In short, you must find a way to express your sadness at losing your grandmother. Don't keep it inside. Crying really relieves stress, releases sad emotions, and heals. I believe that as long as you work towards this goal, you can do it because there are always more ways than difficulties. Just let yourself cry as much as possible. Start here. Although it is not in line with the current environment, I believe that after we cry out our pain, we will definitely be able to feel the beauty of life.

I know your grandmother is watching over you from heaven. I hope you enjoy the beauty of life in the Year of the Rabbit in 2023! You're loved, and so is the world!

Hello, my name is Strawberry!

It's totally normal to feel sad when someone you love leaves this world. When the questioner suddenly learned that her grandmother had passed away, she was understandably heartbroken. It's natural to feel this way when you're suddenly faced with the reality that your loved one is gone forever. The questioner was flooded with memories of her time with her grandmother, from her smile to her kindness and all the good things she had done for her. It's only natural to feel reluctant to let her go.

Let me be there for you in another way.

The most beautiful comfort I've ever heard for a deceased loved one is that when I was young, my aunt became ill and passed away. I was very sad because in my childhood, my aunt was my playmate. My grandmother told me that my aunt did not leave me; she just went back to heaven. She was a fairy, and now that I'm growing up healthily, she has completed her task and is going to help other people.

When we lose loved ones, it's not the end. It's a new way of them watching over and accompanying us. In the days to come, they'll still be in our hearts, even if they're not there in body. It's okay to cry. Let it out. You won't always be able to see them, so it's important to feel your sadness. Crying is a way to express how much you miss them.

You are perfect just the way you are!

Everyone has their own way of expressing emotions. It's okay if you can't cry. It doesn't mean you don't love your loved one who has passed away. We all grieve in our own way and at our own pace. Maybe, deep down, we're holding on to the hope that things will be different somehow.

After all, Grandma's passing was sudden, which caught her off guard and interrupted some of her fantasies, like spending the Spring Festival with Grandma and talking to her. Not being able to see her one last time has also become a regret in the questioner's heart.

It's okay to feel sad. It's okay to feel angry. It's okay to feel any other emotion you're feeling. You can accept your sad emotions, accept your way of expressing them, and also accept the fact that your grandmother has left. You can say goodbye to this sadness and regret in your heart, and you can let yourself be spiritually healed.

It's okay to grieve and say goodbye.

My sweet grandmother passed away suddenly, and there were so many things she didn't get to say or do. But we can express our confessions to our departed loved ones through mourning, and that's a beautiful thing.

☀️Letter: You know what you should do? Write her a letter! Tell her everything you want to say. Then, burn it. This will help you feel better.

☀️ Consolation: In The Little Prince, there is a beautiful passage that says: "I shall live on one of these stars, and I shall be smiling on one of these stars. Whenever you look at the sky at night, it will be as if you are seeing all the stars smiling."

Many of us have heard this lovely saying: "Deceased loved ones become stars." It's a wonderful way to console ourselves after the death of a loved one. Whenever we miss them, we look up and tell them about our thoughts.

I really hope my answer is helpful to the original poster. I wish you the best of luck!

Dear friend, I have read your story and I know how you feel. I am here for you.

Grandma is your closest relative. She has accompanied you throughout your life, and she has given you a lot of love, warm hugs, delicious meals, and many lessons in life. You love her, and you want her to always be by your side, especially during the Chinese New Year. It is natural to hope that your loved ones can be with you and experience the festive atmosphere together.

Her sudden departure will undoubtedly leave your family members flustered. Cry if you want to! Grandma knows you love her, and tears are a valid way to express your thoughts of her. If you can't cry, you can silently miss her, keep watch over her spirit, look at her more, and write about your reluctance to let her go.

You're feeling heavy-hearted, but think this way: the Spring Festival is a good way to commemorate your grandmother. It allows your family to remember and miss her every Spring Festival, and you can reminisce and remember her life during the joyous Spring Festival gatherings. The whole country is using firecrackers and celebrations to commemorate your grandmother. Think this way and it will make you feel better.

Furthermore, this is a clear signal to remind you to cherish the people around you more, because you don't know which will come first, tomorrow or an accident. So live life to the fullest and love your family!

I hope this is helpful for you. Have a happy Chinese New Year of the Rabbit!

I hope this message finds you and your family well as we approach this special New Year's Eve.

Grandma was a very important relative to us, and the fact that she was also Mom's mother will remain with us. We were suddenly faced with the challenge of coming to terms with her departure, and we were unsure of the best way to do so.

It would be beneficial for us to engage in some essential processes at this time, as the departure of loved ones is often a bittersweet farewell.

It is important to observe our own emotions and those of our family members, and express them honestly. Here, we should pay attention to avoiding the physical discomfort caused by excessive grief, and to ourselves and our family members. It can be helpful to express our thoughts about Grandma in words, recall the time we spent with Grandma with our family, and use clear and definite terms to describe each other.

It may be helpful to assist family members in accepting that Grandma has passed away and that we must continue living. With the memory of Grandma and the hope that she can rest in peace in heaven, we must be strong. Of course, this is a process.

It would be beneficial to identify suitable transitional objects for yourself and your family. Once the funeral arrangements for my grandmother have been completed, it might be helpful to engage in activities that can help us readjust to life and live with energy. These could include chatting with friends, developing a new hobby, or participating in other activities.

I would like to take this opportunity to suggest that you try to look after yourself while you are looking after your family. I hope that everything will be well!