My husband and I are second-time married. What should I do about his short temper?

Hello, question asker.

You have clearly outlined the pain you feel in this second marriage. It is evident that the root cause of your pain stems from the man himself. His attitude towards you, his unashamed interactions with women, his refusal to hand over his salary, his discrimination against your occupation, his rejection of your entire person, his selfishness and greed for not being able to benefit from you are the primary sources of your distress.

Your marriage is not happy because you support him with your salary and gain nothing emotionally or financially.

You've divorced multiple times, yet he hasn't responded. My guess is that he benefited from his position in the marriage and wouldn't take the initiative to end it.

The unequal relationship in this marriage is the core conflict. He is on a pedestal, and I intend to find out why.

He doesn't spend his money on you, and he doesn't use his social status to your advantage.

You will find out what aspect of him made you willing to marry him when you married him.

Tell me, has he ever told you why he chose you? And has there been any major change in your lives since you got married?

Tell me, has there been a change in your work? And has there been a big change in his work?

Tell me, has there been a change in your relationship since you got married? Or has it always been like this?

You have a lot of grievances in the marriage, are trying hard to adjust your relationship, and put up with his many faults. This makes you feel very painful and helpless.

You can't stand this kind of marriage forever. One year, five years, ten years...

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He won't change. If he had any feelings at all, he'd respect what you've done and treat you better.

He said you are an unsuccessful woman. Let's be real, he's a very successful man.

What benefits has this very successful man brought you?

You are in a second marriage. It's clear you've received less and given more in this marriage, especially if you don't have children.

If you don't divorce, there's no way he'll change.

If you don't want a divorce, you need to take control of your life. Stop taking care of him and start taking care of yourself. Be financially independent and demand an equal relationship.

You want to change him, but if he doesn't want to change, it won't happen. You may need to accept that and move on.

If you can accept him, continue living together. If you can't accept him, you will eventually have to decide whether to divorce. If he doesn't respond to divorce and doesn't change, you may need to take measures, such as the "AA system," to ensure you get your fair share.

I wish you the best.

Greetings. I am the place of peace.

The second husband displays a proclivity for short-temperedness and anger, which engenders feelings of misery, helplessness, and powerlessness.

From the information provided, it can be inferred that the other person displays irritability, short-temperedness, coldness, suspicion, bad habits, a lack of care for the family, and an even greater lack of consideration for one's emotions and feelings. It can be surmised that the subject experiences a pervasive sense of fear and insecurity on a daily basis.

I did not experience any sense of respect, love, or care, and I felt insecure and worthless.

I am intrigued to learn what motivated you to remarry and establish a new family with him.

Please describe the circumstances of your initial encounter. Additionally, please provide a detailed account of his initial impression of you.

Please describe the manner in which he treated you. For how long had you been acquainted with him prior to your marriage?

Please describe the differences in the pattern of your relationship before and after marriage.

Was your previous marriage dissolved for reasons unrelated to your current situation, or was it a consequence of factors specific to your previous relationship?

Please describe the qualities in your current husband that initially attracted you to him. What were the reasons for your decision to remarry?

The question thus arises as to whether the desire is for someone to keep one company and look after one, or whether the aim is simply to feel at home.

It is challenging to comprehend your decision based on the information provided in your description. However, I am not you, and without having the opportunity to experience your thoughts and feelings firsthand, it is difficult for me to make well-informed judgments.

It seems reasonable to posit that the individual in question must have their own reasons and justifications for choosing this particular man, this relationship, and this marriage.

You are the expert on your own problems, and you are the only one who has the experience and the most to say about them.

It would be beneficial to take a moment to reflect on your expectations of this man and this marriage. Are your needs being met?

"What recourse is available to address the current situation?"

In the description, the subject has repeatedly proposed divorce, yet the other person has not responded. How should this be interpreted?

One might inquire as to whether the other person is ignoring you or if they are completely ignoring you.

What are your thoughts and feelings regarding his response to your lack of response?

What is your response when he does not respond to your proposal of divorce? Have you initiated a discussion about his thoughts and feelings on the matter?

Alternatively, when confronted with the individual in question, have you lost the courage to express yourself and make demands?

Presently, you are experiencing a state of distress, characterized by physical discomfort, fatigue, and psychological distress. The symptoms of dizziness, which are likely caused by elevated blood pressure, have significantly impacted your daily functioning.

It is possible that this is the reason you have chosen to engage in this discussion. It is, however, of the utmost importance to recognise that your inner self-awareness, self-awareness, and sense of self-growth have been activated, which is a highly positive development.

Given a sense of growth and motivation for change, the subsequent step is to make a choice. As the master of one's own life, the right to choose and decide is inherent.

What is the optimal course of action? How should it be executed?

The decision-making process is entirely at your discretion.

It is my sincere hope that you will find happiness.

Hello! I'm sending you a warm hug from afar.

From your description, it is clear that you are frustrated, angry, helpless, and powerless in this marriage because you are not understood or seen.

Let me be clear: how others treat you in a relationship is largely taught by you. From your description, I can feel your inner inferiority and lack of self-confidence, and your lack of acceptance of yourself. You are not aware of this part of your inner self, so you unintentionally project it onto the people around you. In particular, you suppress your true inner thoughts and feelings in front of your husband. You feel that his words and actions disrespect and hurt you, but you can't honestly tell him your true feelings in front of him. Instead, you cater to and please him, hoping that he will change the way he treats you.

Let's be real. Your attitude has earned him even more disrespect and incomprehension. He has never tried to reflect on his own behavior, which has deeply hurt you, because he doesn't see you as being hurt. This makes him feel that you can be treated casually. You nailed it.

It's not about how he treats you. It's about how you treat yourself in your relationship. When he says or does something hurtful, you need to be aware of your feelings and tell him. Be honest and direct.

You must understand that the way you treat yourself will guide and suggest the way he responds to you.

You are the source of everything, and you deserve to be treated a certain way. Start treating yourself the way you deserve.

I am Lily, the little listener at the Q&A Pavilion. The world and I love you.