My husband's hurt caused me to hate being in the same room as him, and I'm worried that I won't be able to accept it?

Old wounds, like unsightly scars, are reopened every time you interact with the other person because of their behavior. What was once a haven of love has become a challenging situation that is affecting you deeply, and you are in the middle of it, experiencing difficulties. I hope the following sharing can offer some support and guidance:

Ultimately, whether or not one accepts the result is a personal choice. What is important is the inner journey and the process of acceptance. It is the process that determines the result.

From what you've shared, it seems that your husband's actions three years ago have significantly impacted your trust in him. Intimate relationships are built on a foundation of mutual trust, and verbal and even physical violence can severely damage that trust. It's understandable that you might feel a sense of betrayal and that your relationship has been deeply affected.

After three years of challenges, your relationship has weathered the storm. You have grown as an individual in your marriage and have established your own business, which is thriving.

This transformation not only proves your ability, but also shows that you can live a better life without the current relationship. In this case, the relationship that once hurt you so much is approaching you in a way that almost seems to be coercing you, in order to get what it wants from you. It's not clear if it's motivated by love, but it seems to be driven by a desire for resources and material things.

It is understandable that any self-aware person would instinctively resist this, given that past hurts remain vivid and the motives behind the current tenderness may not be entirely clear.

It is therefore understandable that, in the midst of such a complicated and bumpy journey of the heart, it may be difficult to accept the other person. Furthermore, the presentation of this result may also seem to go against one's heart.

It might be helpful to accept that one's own ability to accept is limited in order to calmly assess the direction of change in the relationship.

2. It would be beneficial to understand your expectations in a relationship so that you can live with the outcome without regrets.

It is important to remember that the past three years cannot be erased simply because you have your own business. It is not productive to dwell on the past and torture yourself over what happened. Perhaps the best attitude towards what happened is to return to the present self.

Given that the past is gone and the future is not yet here, it is important to recognize that the present is the only thing we truly have control over.

It would be helpful to understand your current inner needs, especially the part related to your emotions. If the relationship is to continue, you might like to consider negotiating with the other person to achieve a balance in the relationship that you like or are willing to achieve, and that the other person also likes or is willing to achieve.

It would also be wise to consider what attitude you might adopt towards the current relationship if this balance cannot be achieved, or what you might be willing to compromise on in this relationship.

I believe that constant introspection will help you to make an informed decision about whether to accept the present situation.

It is my sincere hope that the above sharing will be an inspiration to you.

As a psychotherapist, I do not delve into the intricacies of human nature. Instead, I focus on the emotional well-being of my patients. I wish you the best.

Good day, madam.

You have concerns about your husband and place a great deal of trust in him. However, in return, he has been unfaithful to you, given you a hard time, and even when you are feeling depressed, he has not been very understanding. When you don't feel like having sex, he has not respected your wishes. It seems that you have experienced a range of verbal and sexual violence from your husband in this marriage.

You are experiencing distress and a sense of injustice, yet you feel you have nowhere to turn.

If you believe your husband has changed, it would be helpful to understand whether this change is something you have noticed or if it is a more significant shift. If he has indeed undergone a significant transformation, it would be valuable to identify the factors that contributed to this change. Could it be related to his personal growth and career development?

Perhaps he should feel guilty about cheating on you and be grateful for your help in developing his career. However, he seems to treat you with contempt and humiliation. You may think it's your fault, and in order to please him, you're willing to put up with anything. Unfortunately, this has led to him ignoring you even more.

Fortunately, she finally mustered the courage to leave him and has since enjoyed greater success in developing her career than he has. She has observed that he has become more flexible. This raises an interesting question: when you become stronger, does it follow that the other person will also change?

When you feel confident, you may begin to consider ways to break free from the previous relationship pattern that has been controlled by him.

His behavior is not to your liking, yet you are unable to extricate yourself from the situation. Perhaps it would be helpful to consider what is preventing you from leaving and asserting your boundaries.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider what your endurance has brought you, and what marriage should be like. Is there any chance that your husband will change?

If he were to change, how would he adjust? What might happen if things continue as they are?

Could you possibly advise me as to where I might find help?

I am a marriage and family counselor, and I hope you can find a way to emerge from the darkness and welcome the sunshine.

Hello! I'm Qu Huidong, a psychological counselor who loves using imagery to communicate.

I'm thrilled to be back to answer your question!

After reading your question, I see a woman who has her own business, supportive friends, and a strong sense of self—and she's absolutely killing it!

At the same time, I also began to wonder what considerations made such an "independent" woman stay under the same roof with a man she knew she could no longer accept psychologically.

So, is it because you have children that you can't dissolve the family? Or is it because he threatens you with "life" that you can't leave?

Or there are other reasons... I don't know, but you must know!

And is any of the above reasons really the reason why you cannot end the relationship? How much do you believe in the authenticity of their occurrence?

If a woman puts her hope in loving herself through the changes of others, it is really difficult to achieve this expectation. However, the good news is that loving and caring for oneself is relatively easy!

However, we may be so used to the labels of dedication, giving, and virtuousness that we often forget our own needs. So, whenever asked "What are your inner needs?" and "How do you take care of yourself?," the usual answers are "I don't know" and "It's so difficult." But there's so much more to it than that!

Wikipedia defines self-love as the pursuit of one's own happiness and the search for one's own strengths. And guess what? A series of psychological studies have also found that self-love does have a powerful mental ability that is directly related to a person's mental health!

You can try this: 1. Free writing. In the midst of a busy life, set aside some time to talk to yourself and record your mood and feelings. It's a great way to take a moment for yourself!

2. I did it because I… When considering your own motives, put "I" first and think about why you want to do this, rather than what it means to other people.

3. Stop criticizing yourself. Be kind to yourself. Even if it's a mistake, it's actually a beautiful experience!

I really hope you find these tips helpful!

Dear questioner,

I'm so happy to have this chance to meet you! I'm a listening master, and I'm here to help in any way I can.

It's so sad to see you going through this. I can tell you've been through a lot in your marriage. Your husband has been pretty mean to you, but you've always done your best to support him and maintain the family. You're a true wife and mother, and I applaud you!

You've done so well to build your own business and prove yourself, but I know those feelings of being wronged have always been there, affecting you. You've been looking for reasons in yourself, and I know it's really not easy! Let me give you a warm hug first.

"I feel so disgusted by his courtship, and I also run away from him. He's like a scoundrel, no matter what you say to him, he still wants to do whatever he wants. We are under the same roof, but I just can't accept him mentally."

I totally get where you're coming from. After everything you've been through, it's tough to live under the same roof, and it's almost impossible to go back to how things used to be.

So if your current life is causing you pain, it might be time to take a step back and think about what you really want.

For example, if you want to escape, what kind of escape is it? If you can do this, what worries you the most?

Also, you don't like his courtship. First of all, this kind of thing, even between husband and wife, can't be forced. You have your freedom, and you should hold onto it. So, if you don't like it, you can refuse. Don't worry about it!

If you're looking to adjust your state and be able to accept him better, I'd highly recommend that you seriously communicate with him and stop avoiding him. This will help to reduce his sense of frustration, calm down the conflict, and make you feel a lot better.

Finally, I just want to say that even though these past three years have been tough, this bad experience has also helped you grow in some really valuable ways. It's inspired your inner strength, and it's also had a positive meaning. If you can look at it differently, it will also help improve your state of mind.

I'm a big believer in the power of positive thinking! I'm an enthusiastic answerer, psychological listener, offline consultant, health manager, nutritionist, and traditional Chinese medicine enthusiast. I'm here to help you learn and grow, and to share my knowledge and experience to help others.

The original poster is a very nice person.

I'm Kelly Shui, a heart detective.

It seems that there may be some entanglement and conflict in this relationship.

Perhaps we could analyze it together?

[100% trust and my husband's dislike]

If you would be so kind, I would like to ask you to talk about your relationship.

1: You used to trust your husband a great deal, and as your careers progressed, he began to feel impatient with you and resented you, even pointing his finger at your nose and scolding you for looking down on him.

In this relationship, it seems that you may have lost sight of your own needs and desires. You have given your love and trust away, while also accompanying your husband in his career. However, it's important to recognize that you deserve respect and consideration as well.

In reflecting on this relationship, I perceive some of the growth processes that have shaped the two individuals' union, which continue to evolve in this relationship.

I wonder if the original poster's husband was raised in an emotionally unstable, easily angered home by his parents.

I wonder if he was criticized and belittled from an early age, and if so, if that might have contributed to his low self-esteem.

Could I ask whether he used the parent-child model in your relationship? (Of course, these are all assumptions.)

Could you please tell me how you managed to communicate with him when he accused you?

The questioner is very capable and has successfully started several businesses in a short period of time, which suggests he is a hardworking and motivated person. When you were working together in the same unit, your husband was in the same unit as you. When there were problems in your relationship, was communication between you as a couple going well at that time?

1: The questioner is capable and dedicated. It is important to remember that we often have to switch things up in a relationship, and that's okay.

2: Work and family are both important, and it's important to find a balance between the two.

It would be interesting to know whether the questioner, who also has to work, will feel aggrieved and depressed if she has to take on the role of wife when she returns home.

3: Could I ask whether the questioner is the kind of person who gives completely and endures silently, or whether she likes to communicate with her husband and express her feelings and emotions?

4: Could you please describe your interaction pattern before Mr. Cheated?

As a student of family therapy, I am compelled to consider the potential influence of each couple's respective original family dynamics and the subsequent patterns of interaction within the nuclear family.

There is a saying that I find quite insightful: "Who we don't want to become, that's who we end up becoming."

Based on this assumption, it seems that the poster still hopes to break through in this relationship. If your relationship is so bad that you want a divorce, it's possible that you've considered that option before.

While divorce is a relatively simple process, repairing a relationship requires tolerance and patience, and it is important to maintain hope for the relationship.

If I might offer my personal advice, it would be:

1. It would be beneficial to consider personal growth, exploring one's inner self, and developing a deeper understanding of oneself and one's partner.

2. It might also be helpful to consider marriage counseling and family therapy for couples.

3: It could be said that the relationship between a husband and wife is interactive, and that interaction is a key aspect of the relationship.

4: Identifying and addressing challenges as they arise

5: It would be beneficial for us to recognize that we all grow and learn at different stages in our lives.

6: A successful marriage requires two people who are committed to a common goal and direction.

7: Perhaps it would be helpful to talk to your husband about the future and focus on the present.

It might be helpful to consider that seeing can be healing.

The questioner is courageous and willing to share their past experiences. These experiences still reside in your heart, and you recall the grievances and anger they evoke.

I would be grateful to understand what has motivated you to overcome these challenges and reach this point in your life.

I empathize with you, and as a woman, I can relate to your situation.

The body remembers the grievances suffered, and "the body never forgets." While your friends' words of encouragement were helpful in allowing you to overcome these challenges, the wounds remain. It may be beneficial to seek the guidance of a counselor to process these emotions and support you in healing.

I believe that when we understand ourselves, love ourselves, respect ourselves, and have our own boundaries, we will be in a better position to see our relationship with our husband and understand that loving someone and trusting someone means not giving away all of yourself.

It could be said that love and hate are equally strong.

It could be said that without love, there is no hatred. This may mean that resentment is caused by loving someone too much, which could give the other person the opportunity to hurt us.

As we grow personally and gain a deeper understanding of ourselves, we can also gain a clearer perspective on the trajectory of our relationships. It's akin to embarking on a new venture with a solid foundation.

1: He also acts arrogantly in front of your family, which I imagine is difficult for you. I know I found it challenging to stick with him at the time, and he wouldn't share a room with me.

This process is one that requires a great deal of trial and error on your part. You give everything, but in return you get his disrespect. On the other hand, we have not yet learned to respect ourselves.

It is understandable that the relationship often determines the room.

2: I imagine you have experienced a great deal in the past three years, while also caring for your family. I am truly happy for you.

I admire your courage in starting your own business. It must have been a challenging decision, but it has undoubtedly given you a sense of security and proven your abilities.

You mentioned that your husband's career is facing some challenges. However, it seems that he has started to open up to me and is more willing to compromise when he sees the progress I'm making in my career.

A husband-and-wife relationship is not about one partner being stronger than the other. It's about equality, respect, freedom, love, appreciation, passion, and commitment.

3: Try to respect yourself, and if he doesn't respond, perhaps you could consider lashing out at him. It might be helpful to see if you can maintain a firm attitude and make him give in.

Could I ask whether this is the pattern of interaction you have always had?

You might find it helpful to explore the principles of nonviolent communication.

You might consider telling your husband how you feel and how his actions are affecting you.

4: Would you say that you are more concerned with the past than the present?

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether you still trust your husband as much as you did in the past.

The questioner may wish to consider writing about:

1: Please describe the happiest time of your acquaintance before marriage.

2: You might consider writing about his strengths and weaknesses.

3: You might also consider writing about your own strengths and weaknesses.

4: If you could go back to the beginning of this marriage, how would you choose to live it?

It seems that you are still dwelling on the past, when you ignored and disliked yourself. This has led to feelings of disgust towards his courtship, and ultimately, a sense of distancing from him.

I'm still struggling to move on because the pain is still there. I believe that the emotional wound is similar to a physical wound on the body. Without proper treatment, it won't heal on its own. It might be helpful to seek professional help, either from a doctor for the body or a psychologist for the mind, to help us understand and work through the wounds deep inside ourselves.

It is possible that rebuilding oneself may be a kind of "gift" to oneself, allowing us to grow and transform into a new self.

I wish you well.

I hope that the world can be a better place for you, and I love you.

Hello, I'm Xin Tan, Coach Fei Yun here!

Hugging from a distance, I can see that you have experienced a rollercoaster of ups and downs in your intimate relationship. You have gone from trusting your partner to resenting them (with some begging) to becoming independent and self-reliant (with some disdain). He has gone from depending on you to rejecting you to trying to please you to depending on you again. It's been quite the journey!

You have gone through a lot during this process. Have you ever thought about why your relationship has taken this turn? Let's share and discuss!

?1. Intimacy without compromising self-preservation

As you said, you have given your partner 100% trust, and in return, he has cheated and played around. It seems that he has betrayed you and been unfaithful to the marriage.

No matter what happened between you, it cannot be used as a reason or excuse for his infidelity or betrayal.

But after the event, have you reflected on your marriage and intimate relationship? It would be really helpful to know if you think there was any responsibility you had to bear in this incident of his infidelity.

It may be tough to ask, but many people think, "He cheated, so what's my responsibility?"

The other person's infidelity is not your responsibility, and you have the power to take responsibility for maintaining the marriage! Infidelity is just a "result" or "manifestation"; the specific incident is like a "mirror" that can, to a certain extent, reflect the problems in your relationship.

Take a deep breath and be brave! Look at your role in the relationship and take responsibility for it. This is the first step to making positive changes and opening yourself up to new possibilities!

One of the best ways to bring your partner closer to you again is to start your own business! Many women think that after they get married, they'll belong more to their family and marriage.

It's great if some women choose to become full-time housewives! It's just that, whether you work or are a full-time housewife, you need to continue to maintain your self.

Huang Lei's wife made the fantastic choice to work full-time after marrying him, and their relationship has remained as fresh as ever! Not only does Huang Lei love and protect his wife, but Sun Li also maintains her own personal charm. She may not have a job, but she has her own business, such as running herself, maintaining hobbies, and having her own circle of friends.

When a woman's world is only about one man, it's not that he has changed, but that he sees that you have not changed and are not compatible with his changes. But here's the good news: you can still find equilibrium in an intimate relationship! And it has nothing to do with income. It's more about thoughts and perceptions. So, if you can give the necessary help when he starts a business, it shows that you are capable and also a wife who can help him succeed.

Keep your own special charm and he'll be eager to spend time and energy on you! It's been said that a woman is like a book, and only someone who truly gets her can read and truly understand her. And that's appreciation!

? 2. How to repair intimacy

You have two fantastic options: you can either continue the relationship or end it quickly and painlessly. If you choose the latter, it's simple: you can negotiate or sue to secure your interests.

If it is the former, then you have the exciting opportunity to adjust yourself and your interaction with your partner!

If you can understand and are willing to think and summarize your relationship in point 1, you will realize that you can still make some better changes in the relationship! "Falling in love with a duet" Marriage is like a duet, and the result must come from the interaction of the two people.

Your disgust towards him is because of the betrayal in the past, which makes you feel that he is "dirty" and has also stained your relationship. You don't want to be with him because you are not on the same page. If you value your relationship, you will have some understanding and tolerance towards him. But here's the good news! You can change your feelings about him. You can choose to see him as a person who has made mistakes, just like you have. You can decide to be open to working through your issues together. You can decide to be on the same page. And you can decide to value your relationship.

What were the needs behind his choice to cheat? It wasn't just sexual urges, but more importantly, there was a need for fulfillment in the relationship that wasn't being met with you. Forgiving someone takes courage, and forgiving someone with compassion takes even more courage. You're not letting go of him, you're letting go of yourself. And you can do it!

It's only his fault, but you keep punishing yourself. Of course, letting go takes time and a process, but it's not the result of one person's efforts alone. You still need to interact and work together, and you can do it!

If you can't let go, how can you pick it up again?

The other person has already made a great move and taken a backseat. As a man, he has let go of his dignity and begged for your understanding. At least he still has some attachment to the relationship. Through your judgment, if you continue to move forward, you can communicate with the other person openly and effectively.

Instead of complaining, let love flow! Express your views and feelings, but also listen to the other person. You can work together to find a solution to the problem and meet each other's needs within each other's abilities. All you have to do is open the knot! If you don't open the knot, you'll just have to make do with things, and that's no fun for anyone.

I really hope the above is helpful to you! The world and I love you! ??

If you want to continue the conversation, just click "Find a coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom. I'd love to communicate and grow with you one-on-one!

Dear questioner, Hello!

Sending you lots of love!

Reading your account, I can see how difficult and hurtful it was for you, and I can also see how you have grown. It's so inspiring to see how you've come through it all!

I just want to say, "Kudos to you!"

I'd be more than happy to add a few more things for you, and I really hope they're of some small help.

1. Take some time to think about your relationship.

I truly believe that you and your husband once loved each other and that you once gave your husband your complete trust.

But when he was in the prime of his life, he hurt you, sweetheart.

I'd like to share a little saying with you that I think you'll find really helpful.

It's so important to know that your partner truly loves you. One way to do this is to see if he treats you with the utmost care when he's in a good mood.

It's so easy for a couple to share hardships, but it can be really tough to share happiness.

You're really starting to be yourself more and more! So, at this time, what are your true feelings when he has a bad career and starts to give in?

It's so important to remember that your feelings matter!

If a man was immature in the past, hurt you, and now starts to change, and makes you feel his remorse and sincerity, as well as his care and respect for you, I truly believe you will sense it.

If this isn't the case, and he's only focused on achieving his own goals without considering your feelings, it might be time to rethink things.

When you love someone, it's only natural that you want to be intimate with them.

I truly believe that even if you've been hurt in the past, you can still be very happy together if you work hard on the relationship and actively repair it.

I really feel that it's more important for you to focus on the relationship than on the sex.

I'd love to know what kind of relationship you want with your partner.

Take a moment to listen to your inner voice.

If you're ready to stick with your partner, how can you make yourself happy without giving up who you are, and what changes can you make?

2. Take responsibility for your own happiness, my dear.

What does marriage mean to you?

Learn to love, experience love, become love, take the choice of happiness into your own hands, do what you can for this intimate relationship, communicate and exchange. You've got this!

I truly believe you have your own reasons for doing what you do.

It's so important to respect our own feelings at all times.

I'd love to hear what you think when he yells at you.

Has he ever taken the time to explain what he did?

I'm just wondering, does he really make you feel loved?

I'd love to hear what you've gained from the relationship!

If you had to rate the relationship, what would you give it?

Sometimes, even without realizing it, we find ourselves holding on to a relationship.

Even if you're not feeling 100% happy with the relationship, that's okay!

But no matter what, I truly believe you've begun to realize that change has already taken place.

Oh, he dislikes you. But, sweetheart, sometimes that's not that important.

Because we love ourselves, sweetheart.

You can be as unaffected by him as you like.

I know it can be tough, but I'm here to help. Do you feel resentful about the harm he's caused you?

I know it can be hard, but have you thought about getting revenge on him?

What else could you possibly want from your marriage?

I'm just wondering, do you have a tendency to be a masochist?

I'd love to know more about your upbringing!

It's so important to believe in yourself and your worth. Do you believe that you are worthy of being valued? Do you believe that you are worthy of being loved?

I'd love to know what belief made you stick with him in the face of his impatience and disdain.

No matter what you choose to do, remember that you have the power to find happiness within yourself.

Even if he doesn't change, we can still work for our own happiness, and I'm here to help!

For example, "It's so great to see that I'm still firm in my resolve! He's given up trying to soften his stance, which is really wonderful."

It's totally normal to feel disgusted by his advances if you haven't yet healed from the original hurt.

If you can, try to heal yourself.

It's totally normal to find it tough to forgive the other person or let go of past hurts.

But you know what? We can think differently.

If you want to embrace a bright future and be free of the pain of the past, you can learn to forgive yourself.

You know, it's time to stop being tortured by the past.

We're doing this for ourselves, and we've got each other's backs!

In other words, it's not about forgiving him, but about forgiving ourselves.

I know it's not easy, but you can do it!

You're also welcome to seek help from a counselor if you'd like.

Please feel free to share these with anyone you think might benefit from them.

If you're interested, you can read "It turns out that understanding is more important than love." I think you'll find it really helpful!

I'm sending you lots of love and blessings!

Your husband has the character of a weather vane, one that sees the wind and sets the sails. Once, when you didn't have your own career, you accompanied him and helped him, but he scolded you and gave you cold stares, which was really disappointing and utterly unacceptable.

The cold violence of the past has caused you harm, and there is a real risk that he may still inflict verbal and physical violence on you. This is a form of domestic violence that is difficult to comprehend, and it is almost impossible to live a happy life in such an environment.

The past has caused you trauma. You still cannot fully accept him in your heart or let the other person enter your heart. If you want to make your life run more smoothly, you need to make some adjustments.

You should go to marriage counseling together. It's time for your career to take off. We need to recognize that the marital relationship is only one part of our lives, and there are many other things that are just as important. In the current economic context, we need to prioritize what's most important.

You have to accept that you may know better than others what you need to do next. You don't need to please people you don't accept. If he doesn't change, you need to take appropriate action. His cheating and ambiguous behaviour three years ago was also a betrayal of his marriage. Scolding you and hitting you made people feel a lot of pressure.

He used to dislike you very much, but now it seems that he has only slightly improved. You need to seek psychological counseling where you can talk to a counselor about the pain and trauma in your heart. When you confide in someone, your pain will not be so intense. You will be able to face your marital relationship more calmly and lightly in the future. This is not an easy thing, but you need to know that the first person to love is yourself, and then the people around you. Good luck.

ZQ?

Greetings!

As a heart exploration coach, I have come to recognize that learning represents the most valuable asset of the human body.

From your description, it is evident that you are experiencing a range of intense emotions, including disgust, discomfort, helplessness, pain, and a sense of being overwhelmed.

The specifics of the difficulties you are experiencing in your husband's relationship will not be addressed here. However, three pieces of advice can be provided.

Firstly, it is recommended that an effort be made to gain an understanding of one's own self and to accept the circumstances that one finds oneself in.

Such an approach will result in a slight alleviation of distress, which in turn will facilitate the formulation of a plan of action.

You stated that you previously placed a great deal of trust in your husband and would never doubt him, regardless of his actions. However, he subsequently engaged in infidelity, displayed impatience, and exhibited resentment and verbal abuse towards you. As a result, you developed disappointment with him. Now that your career is progressing well while his is not, he attempts to be cordial, yet you remain unable to move on from the way he previously ignored and resented you. Consequently, you feel repulsed by his advances. It is challenging for you to accept him in your presence. Your circumstances are understandable, as couples must be faithful to each other and demonstrate mutual respect and understanding. At the same time, the love between a husband and wife should be unconditional, not a conditional love based on utility. Your husband's actions towards you do not align with any of the aforementioned characteristics. Therefore, it is essential for you to understand yourself and provide comfort to yourself. "See" the painful self that hates his advances but is unsure of how to respond. This will distract your mind from other concerns and prevent it from becoming overwhelmed by negative emotions.

Furthermore, allowing oneself to understand one's own self and accept one's current state will facilitate the promotion of change in the status quo. This may appear to be a paradoxical assertion, but it is, in fact, an accurate representation of the underlying process. Change, in essence, is predicated on the acceptance of a state of equilibrium.

Secondly, it is recommended that you adopt a rational perspective on your own state of being.

Rational thinking can assist in developing a more nuanced understanding of oneself and one's circumstances.

In order to gain a rational perspective on the situation, it is essential to undertake two key actions:

One must recognize that the act of sharing a room cannot be compelled upon an individual.

In other words, one has the prerogative to decline and is under no obligation to acquiesce. One is entitled to act in accordance with one's own volition.

Secondly, it is important to recognise that the status quo can be altered, as one's own actions can effect change.

When one exercises subjective initiative, the likelihood is high that one's state of mind and the state of one's relationship with the other party will gradually dissipate. In such circumstances, it is important to recognise the role of one's own initiative and the influence of time.

It is recommended that you concentrate on your own well-being and consider how you might improve your situation.

For example, a productive dialogue with one's spouse could be initiated to convey one's authentic sentiments. This could include a frank discussion of the enduring pain from past experiences and the desire to maintain physical distance in the shared living space. It is essential to maintain composure and logical reasoning during this exchange to facilitate effective communication and understanding. This approach may potentially deter unproductive behaviors and foster a sense of well-being.

One might also inquire as to whether it is truly impossible to forgive him. If it is indeed impossible to forgive and one is unable to accept him under the same roof, it may be advisable to consider separating.

This approach is not intended to precipitate a definitive divorce, but rather to facilitate a rational examination of the relationship. If one continues to reside under the same roof and the other party fails to alter their behavior, the influence of the problematic individual may persist. After contemplating the situation, one may gain insight into the appropriate course of action, which could ultimately lead to a sense of improved well-being.

Additionally, one may assert that the decision to engage in courtship is solely the domain of the individual in question, and that the choice to consent or decline such advances is a personal prerogative. This approach may be particularly effective when the individual in question is reluctant to engage in such interactions. Furthermore, the act of repeatedly disengaging from such interactions, through the implementation of a "issue separation," may also serve to alleviate distress, as it effectively reduces the negative impact of the other individual's actions.

It is also beneficial to engage in discourse with trusted family and friends. Firstly, verbalizing one's emotions can have a cathartic effect, as expressing negative feelings can lead to a sense of relief. Secondly, these interactions can provide a sense of support and understanding, which can in turn facilitate the identification of potential solutions to the current situation. In summary, it is important to recognize that one has the capacity to take action to improve the current circumstances.

Once action is initiated, the various negative emotions that have been experienced will naturally dissipate, as action is often the most effective method of combating such emotions.

It is my hope that this response will prove beneficial to you. Should you wish to engage in further communication, you are invited to click on the option entitled "Find a coach to interpret – online conversation," which will enable you to communicate with me directly.

Hi, thanks for having me!

From what you've said, it seems like you've been through a lot over the past few years. It's clear you've been struggling with depression and have had to be very strong. It's impressive that you've managed to start a business and achieve results in such a challenging marriage environment!

Second, I'm a little curious because your confusion is "worrying about not being able to accept it." So do you secretly hope that you can accept his courtship and have sex with him? In the past three years, he has had many poor performances, but you still seem to want to accept him. What makes you so persistent?

Maybe there's an unexpressed part of this relationship that's connected to it?

Pain in our hearts often comes from conflict, which is commonly called "twisted." If you feel disgust and resistance towards your husband and even want to escape, but on the other hand you demand that you accept him, it must be very painful. It's as if there are two forces fighting within you. From your question, it seems that you're more inclined to persuade the part of yourself that feels, so that you don't feel so disgusted and resistant.

Maybe you can take a step back, go to your heart, and see how it feels when you don't get his confession and apology, as well as your endurance and efforts. Try to understand and accept yourself, and then ask yourself what makes you demand so much of yourself. When you understand yourself, you may be more understanding of your choices, and it will be easier to reconcile the two forces within you.

Of course, this kind of self-exploration isn't easy. If you'd like, you can seek help from a counselor, who will be another person who understands you, listens to you, and supports you as you work through your issues.