My wife has a stubborn temperament. Should I get a divorce? Let's both let it go.

The questioner's question is thought-provoking. The wife and her mother are on one side, and the questioner and his father are on the other. It appears that the two spouses have taken sides, and what were once two people who loved each other and walked side by side have suddenly become adversaries. It would be interesting to understand what the wife and the questioner are expressing by taking opposing sides.

The decision to get a divorce ultimately depends on whether you and your partner are determined to pursue it or whether you are open to exploring ways to improve your relationship. If you feel that your relationship has reached a point where it is no longer viable and divorce is the best option, you can discuss the possibility of going to the civil affairs bureau to initiate the divorce process. This is not a difficult matter.

If you would like to remain married and work together as a couple, it would be helpful to identify and address the underlying issues that are preventing you from doing so. From a psychological perspective, it seems that the questioner and his wife have chosen to stand on different sides because of their individual needs and because neither of them has firmly established opinions. At the same time, they both have their own beliefs that they are reluctant to let go of and find it challenging to understand, accept, and integrate with each other.

If the questioner would like to see the two of you work together to live well, it might be helpful to find a suitable counselor to help resolve any issues between you. If you feel that you don't want to live well, you are of course entitled to that decision. It is always worth weighing up the options and making your own choice, and taking responsibility for your own life.

The above are personal opinions, which the questioner may find helpful to consider.

From your brief four sentences, I can discern a great deal of information. For approximately a year, you have frequently aligned with your father's perspective and demonstrated a profound concern for his thoughts and feelings. Recently, you have come to recognize that your wife is on the same side as her mother, a realization that has left you feeling like an outsider. It is possible that you have only now become aware of how your wife has felt over the past year.

You are contemplating a potential change in your relationship, but you are concerned that your partner may not be willing to alter her behavior. Additionally, you are uncertain about the longevity of your romantic bond, given the perceived decline in her affection over the past year. This uncertainty may be a contributing factor in your contemplation of divorce.

"I recognize the same problem that my wife is experiencing." Indeed, although the family unit is formally intact, the individual members have not yet achieved a psychological separation from their respective families. When considering and addressing issues, the individual tends to align with their parent of the same gender, which results in a shift in the dynamic and a subsequent alienation of the partner. If this pattern persists, the partner may experience feelings of neglect and a lack of consideration for their thoughts and feelings. This can lead to feelings of hurt and a withdrawal of love.

It is notable that your allegiance to your father has remained unchanged for approximately one year, yet it is only recently, in light of your wife's alignment with her mother, that you have exhibited a shift in perspective. Had your wife not taken her mother's side, it is plausible that you would not have fully recognized the nature of your wife's rejection and the underlying issue of your own alignment with your father.

It is possible that your wife has been experiencing these feelings for an extended period. It is also conceivable that she has previously discussed these emotions with you, but that you failed to comprehend her perspective, leading her to respond in a manner that mirrored your own actions. It is equally plausible that you have inadvertently influenced her to involve her mother in your domestic arrangements.

From the content of your message, it is evident that there is a lack of communication between you and your wife. Instead, you have resorted to expressing your thoughts, speculations, and concerns. If I were in your position, I would suggest apologizing to your wife, seeking her understanding, and then discussing potential changes to be made in the future. Furthermore, it would be beneficial to explore ways to navigate conflicts with each other's parents effectively.

In the event that, during the discussion, she makes it clear that there is no future, it would be prudent to consider the possibility of divorce.

Hello, host!

We must understand and empathize with the wife's feelings of pain over the problems in their interactions.

We will meet many people in our lives: acquaintances, people with average relationships, and strangers.

Conflicts between family members are more complex and emotionally charged than those between outsiders. This can lead to feelings of sadness and distress.

Letting go doesn't mean escaping from reality and hoping someone else can solve the problem.

Someone who can't swim won't learn to swim even if they change pools.

These problems cannot be solved, and they cannot be put off forever.

Who should give in first and listen to the other person?

Changing the minds of two people is difficult, but it is not a problem.

Once someone has made up their mind, changing it is nearly impossible.

I can make a difference now. She has always been like this over the past year, but that's about to change.

From this, it is clear that the host is aware of his own thoughts and is ready to make a change.

Changing others is difficult, but changing yourself is possible. As the saying goes:

Changing oneself is divine. Changing others is psychotic.

Let me be clear: the more we try to change other people's minds, the more we cause ourselves pain.

This can only be achieved by changing oneself to reach a consensus with others.

You can only change yourself so much. You can't just blindly give in in exchange for understanding from others. You might end up pushing them away.

Deal with problems by focusing on the important and letting go of the trivial.

There are major events in life, such as life and death and marriage.

Marriage is an important event in life.

Let me be clear: not many people play marriage and divorce back and forth like a game in their lives.

You've entered the besieged city. Find the rules of the game and follow them.

If it's not a matter of principle, you shouldn't make a rash decision to divorce.

If you don't figure out what you want for yourself,

If you get a divorce, you will still be at a loss.

I wish you the best!

Marriage has been important since ancient times. It provides emotional support, family expectations, and social stability. However, it also causes disputes and conflicts.

You and your wife are having problems with your parents. This has made you doubt your marriage and even consider divorce.

Divorce is not the best way to solve problems, especially when facing family disputes. In the beginning of human society, people often had disputes.

As people have learned to make and change rules, they have learned to seek harmony and balance. This shows that even in a small family, we can make rules to reduce disputes and maintain happiness.

You and your wife have different views on your parents. This could be why you argue.

If both parties calm down, talk, and try to understand each other, they may find a solution.

For example, you can make a list of rules with your wife to help you deal with problems. These rules can include: when there is a problem with both parents, the two parties should stay calm and avoid arguments; second, the two parties should express their thoughts and feelings honestly while respecting each other's opinions; and finally, the two parties should discuss together and find a solution that is acceptable to both parties.

Rules are just the start. You also need to stick to them and change them when you need to.

Marriage is not easy. It has challenges and trials. In the face of these, you need to support each other, understand each other, and overcome difficulties together.

This makes a marriage stronger and love deeper.

Think carefully about divorce. It hurts everyone involved, including the children.

It would be a shame to get divorced over something that can be fixed.

Marriage needs to be managed and requires joint efforts from both parties. As long as you and your wife are willing to communicate and compromise, you will be able to find solutions to problems and improve your marriage.

Don't give up. Your love will overcome all difficulties and lead you to happiness.

Hello, questioner. I am a Heart Exploration coach.

I have carefully read the problems and confusions you described on the platform. It is clear that you are encountering difficulties in your marriage. You said you recognize the same problem as your wife: she always sides with her mother, and recently there have been more conflicts. You always side with your father, and you are slowly making changes, but she is not. She has been like this for the past year, stubborn and hot-tempered. The question is, should you get a divorce?

This is how you can both let go.

Divorce is not the answer just because you disagree. It is too impulsive. You can let go by getting a divorce.

I am certain that divorce is more like an escape, an escape with no other choice. However, you can solve this in a better way by sitting down and communicating properly.

Let me help you analyze and sort things out.

1. You must understand that you need to work together.

You both have the same expectations and goals for marriage. You know that if you keep arguing, your relationship will only get worse. You want to let each other off the hook, but you need to know what your wife's expectations for marriage and family life are and whether you're on the same page.

You must work together to manage your marriage effectively.

2. Establish good communication.

Avoidance is not the answer. Communication is key. You need to interact frequently, respect each other, and be clear about your thoughts and goals. Don't just focus on solving the other person. Find a way to achieve balance. If you can't change who they are, communicate more, reach a consensus, and vent your emotions. If that's not the best way, exchange opinions, be honest, and live your life as a couple with one heart.

3. Learn to understand and respect.

Divorce is not a failure. It is a kind of respect for marriage. Two people form a family to live together in better circumstances. If you have tried many times and fought hard, taken responsibility, borne the consequences, and your wife is still unreasonable, then you should consider freeing each other and letting go of each other. This is the last resort. It must be the final step. You must consider it carefully and listen to your heart!

I am confident that my answer will be helpful to you. If you require further communication, you can follow me (click on my personal homepage), choose the Heart Exploration service, and communicate with me one-on-one. The world and I love you.

Hello! I'm Gu Daoxi Fengshou, your heart exploration coach!

As someone who is in a relationship, I can fully understand the complexity of the issues that need to be faced in a marriage and the feelings of the questioner. I'm here to support you!

Oh, the intrigue! When did the questioner and their partner first start taking sides? Was it when they got married?

Or perhaps the questioner took sides first, which might have caused the other person to feel hurt and led to their behavior of taking sides. Different motives may require different improvement plans, which is great because it means we can tailor our solutions to fit each individual's needs!

Intimate relationships are the perfect opportunity to learn and grow! When entering a new dynamic balance, it's essential to understand each other's needs and agree on a plan to keep the relationship thriving. While it might take time to find this balance, it's worth the effort! Negotiating and revising together is a great way to ensure both parties are happy. With continuous communication and a little patience, you can achieve a dynamic balance that works for everyone!

I'm not sure if the issue between the questioner and his wife is a matter of principle or just an emotional reaction to some minor everyday issues. Understanding the reasons for their differences could help the questioner find a fantastic solution!

While divorce is one way to solve problems, it is not the only solution! The questioner may want to try to see if the differences between each other can be resolved through consensus and re-management.

There's a great saying that to punish without teaching is to abuse. And there's another saying that if you avoid a problem in one matter, you'll still be unable to solve it the next time you encounter it. So, the questioner may want to try to sort out each other's problems first to see if they can be reconciled. And if the differences in outlook are too great, then perhaps divorce is a more amicable solution for each other.

The questioner may want to try to think about what the solution is when we have disagreements with our colleagues at work. I believe it is definitely not avoidance, but rather re-communicating to reach a consensus. Sometimes the closer you are, the more you forget to collaborate, focusing more on your own feelings and ignoring the other person's needs. But there's a solution! We can introduce the way workplace relationships are handled to give the questioner a whole new perspective.

Home is a place for reason, but also for love! When we are always concerned about right and wrong, gains and losses, we may push each other further and further apart. But there's a way to bridge that gap! By communicating with each other in depth and finding a consensus again, we can make each other more willing to solve problems.

No marriage can remain balanced when each partner focuses on the other's shortcomings. But there's still hope! The questioner might want to think about what attracted them to each other in the first place. Are those attractions still there?

Pay more attention to the good parts of the other person, and you'll find yourself more willing to work together to solve problems!

Men Are from Venus and Women Are from Mars reveals the fascinating differences in how men and women think. The questioner can try communicating in the language that the other person is more comfortable with, which can really help communication flow more effectively.

We highly recommend reading "The Five Languages of Love," "How to Argue Properly," and "If I Only Knew Before Marriage" to help the questioner manage the relationship better!

If all efforts fail to resolve the problem, don't worry! There's still time to choose divorce.

Wishing you all the best!

Hello!

It's a pretty straightforward way of putting it, but the relationship is a bit more complex than that.

It looks like a third or even a fourth party has been introduced into your relationship.

Maybe at first, your marriage was just you and your spouse, and you were the ones keeping it together.

But then, your father joined in. Or you brought your father in to help with your relationship.

It's totally understandable! It seems like you're struggling to navigate your relationship with your spouse. It's natural to seek outside help when we're facing challenges in our relationships. Forming an alliance with your father might have been a way to find a solution to the problem. This is a common strategy in relationships, called triangulation.

It's a tricky situation when a relationship becomes triangularized by the involvement of a third party in order to resolve a problem.

I don't know how long you've been married, but I know you started taking your father's side about a year ago. What happened before that? What was your relationship like, and what affected your marriage? You probably wanted to bring your father into the alliance to solve a problem. Maybe you used filial piety to get your wife to do something you didn't want to do yourself, but that didn't solve your problem.

It's been a long road for you both. Your wife has been fighting for a long time, and has been fighting against the alliance between you and your father for a long time. But perhaps she found that she could not fight against the alliance between you and your father, and she probably did not want to end the marriage relationship so easily, so she also sought outside help, her mother, to fight against the alliance between you and your father.

So what was originally a relationship between you as a couple may now be between your parents. This can make things feel even more distant between you, and it might even lead to the dissolution of your marriage, which I really hope doesn't happen.

It's so true that the more people there are in a relationship, the more complicated it can become. There are so many things to consider! For example, originally, one of the spouses could have bowed their head, and the relationship could have been saved.

But if you include your parents, for the sake of your parents' feelings and authority, the person who could have bowed their head cannot do so, and then you can only separate.

Hi there! I noticed you wrote a question titled "My wife has a stubborn temper." I'm wondering if you could tell us a bit more about why you think she's stubborn and how stubborn she is. I'd love to hear more!

You say that you can change now, which is great! It just means that you haven't changed yet. I bet it's because you think that you can change only after your wife changes.

But your wife is a bit stubborn and reluctant to change, so it's understandable that you haven't changed either.

I'm not sure if I understand what you mean by "change." Have you talked to your wife about it? I think your wife has certain expectations and demands of you, but the changes you're talking about might not fully align with her expectations.

You're open to compromise, but it seems like your wife's expectations and demands are different. It's totally understandable! We all have different needs and expectations in relationships. Of course, this is just theoretical speculation, and it doesn't represent your specific situation. Don't take it as such, but just as a different perspective for you to think about.

I totally get it. Nobody can answer whether you should get a divorce. And I really don't think you want one, deep down.

Otherwise, you wouldn't have asked the question, my friend.

I think the best thing you can do is try to get your wife and your parents out of the middle of your relationship. It's really tough to do, I know, but it might be the best thing for you and your wife.

The current four-cornered relationship is a solution to a problem, and it might be a bit tricky to change if the problem is not solved.

It's totally normal to feel like the changes you're making aren't having the desired effect. Sometimes, that's when it's really helpful to seek the support of a professional counselor.

It would be really great for you both if you could convince your wife to go to couples counseling together. If that's not possible for now, don't worry! You can still make some changes and put them into practice. That way, your wife will be able to see how you're trying to improve things.

I really do think that this rigid relationship can be loosened.

I'm a counselor who's often pessimistic and sometimes optimistic. I love you, the world, and I'm here to help!

It is important to remember that every marriage has its ups and downs, and that challenges are part and parcel of any relationship, especially when there are disagreements among family members. When faced with the difficult decision of divorce, it is advisable to take a calm and rational approach to analysing the problem and seeking to resolve the conflict as much as possible.

1. **Communication**: It may be helpful to have an in-depth, honest conversation with your wife to try to understand her position and feelings. Communication is often the key to resolving problems, and through dialogue, you can find a solution that is acceptable to both parties.

2. It might be helpful to seek the support of a professional family counselor. A counselor can assist you in understanding each other's perspectives, fostering mutual understanding, and providing guidance on conflict resolution strategies.

3. **Self-reflection**: It may be helpful to examine your own behavior and attitude to see if there is room for improvement. Marriage is a joint effort, and it may be beneficial to consider making changes together.

4. The importance of family harmony: It would be beneficial to consider what family harmony means to you and your wife, as well as to the family members. Maintaining family harmony is a traditional Chinese virtue and the foundation of social stability.

5. **Children's education**: If you have children, it might be helpful to consider the potential impact of divorce on their development. It is widely acknowledged that a child's healthy development requires a harmonious family environment.

6. If you feel that divorce is the last option, it may be helpful to seek legal advice from a professional lawyer before taking formal action. This could help you understand the legal process and potential legal consequences.

It would be wise to ensure that you have done your best, considered all aspects, and given each other a chance before making a decision. It is also important to remember that divorce is a significant decision that can affect not only you and your wife, but also the families of both sides and your children (if any).

It would be wise to think carefully and think twice.

Hello,

You've already identified your own issues and made changes, which is great. Could your efforts also help your partner recognize the problem and make changes?

From what you've said, it seems like you feel like you have no choice but to give up. I think you should try something.

Take some action. Let your partner know what the problem is.

Marriage isn't easy, so make the most of it.

It's not that divorce is off the table, but we shouldn't talk about it so easily. Some problems won't get better just by getting a new person.

I'm not sure how long you've been married. Marriage isn't always smooth sailing.

It requires constant adjustment and compromise between the two of you. Then comes acceptance and tolerance, followed by harmony.

The book Intimacy goes over the four stages of marriage.

The first stage is the honeymoon period, when we think the other person is perfect.

The second stage is when we realize there are some not-so-great things about the other person.

The third stage is about becoming more mature and moving on from the attachment relationship to become your own person.

The fourth stage is all about self-care. It's about listening to your own needs and desires, bringing mature love to yourself, and satisfying yourself.

I hope you find my advice useful.

Hello, host. I understand your mood after reading your description. I am here to inspire and help you.

Every married person knows that every family has its own problems. It's simply unavoidable. No one can say with confidence that their family has never encountered such a situation.

The key is how we deal with such situations after they happen.

It's time to decide: will it be a quarrel between two opposing forces, or will both sides take a step back? Discuss the issue by putting yourself in the other person's shoes.

From your description, it is clear that you have not sat down and discussed this problem properly.

In a marriage, both parties are playing a game when they constantly push forward.

There are no winners here. Everyone loses. If I win on the man's side, the woman's side will definitely not agree. And if the woman's side wins,

The man's side certainly won't be convinced either.

We can certainly imagine what the situation will be like.

When problems arise, we must take a deep breath and have a constructive conversation.

As a married couple, you must discuss everything calmly and seriously.

You don't have to care too much about your parents.

You will be living with your spouse for the rest of your lives, not your parents.

The couple must have a good heart-to-heart talk when it comes to these issues.

Some problems can only be resolved face-to-face to ensure they don't recur.

These are my thoughts, and I stand by them.

Hello, I'm Super Sister from Yixinli.

Did your wife become stubborn after marriage? Do you love her?

I used to think there was no such thing as a mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship. I was wrong. It's really about the husband/wife relationship.

If a couple has a good relationship, they can communicate with each other and find ways to please their parents. They can also express their love in the way their partners like. A happy married life can make people stop complaining and blaming.

Love is the driving force for change. When you or your wife feel loved, you will naturally be willing to give love and understanding.

However, love is expressed and communicated differently. We need to understand how we show love and how our partner wants to be loved. This helps couples communicate well and focus on their own priorities.

The five languages of love are:

1. Affirming words:

Praise, encouragement, recognition, and affirmative words make the receiver feel loved and valued.

2. Acts of service:

Practical actions that help the other person, such as helping with chores, childcare, or errands, show love.

3. Receive gifts:

Giving a gift shows you care and think of someone. For people who value this, gifts represent the thought and time that has gone into them.

4. Mindfulness moments:

It's about spending time together without distractions, listening to each other. This can be a deep conversation, an activity, or just quiet time.

Give your partner your full attention.

5. Physical contact:

This includes hugs, handholding, kisses, and other forms of physical contact. This language of love goes beyond sex and is about showing comfort, care, and closeness in everyday life.

Hug your loved ones every day. It will make you happier.

Knowing your partner's love language helps you meet their emotional needs and build a happy relationship.

Every relationship needs work. If you still love each other, don't give up.

I wish you could see the real you and choose happiness. ☘️

Hi, I'm Strawberry.

In a marriage, even a minor problem can become a big issue if there are underlying emotions that haven't been resolved. Avoiding the problem isn't the answer. To grow, both partners need to face it head on.

It can be really helpful for kids to see their parents letting go of their marriage.

The questioner has found that he and his wife have the same problem in their relationship: when they encounter a problem, his wife will take her mother's side, while he will take his father's.

When problems arise, parents often get involved and try to fix things for their kids. But if parents don't interfere in their kids' marriages, let go, and let the couple figure it out on their own, they'll learn to get along and grow together through trial and error.

Given how tough change can be, I'm at a loss.

The questioner believes he's changed and relies on himself to face and deal with problems. However, he finds that he seems to see his former self in his wife. After observing for more than a year, he also finds that his wife doesn't see anything wrong with her behavior and has never wanted to change.

He knew that his "standoff" would affect the couple's relationship, so he tried hard to change himself. Now that he sees that his wife is completely unaware of this, he doesn't know how to continue living this kind of marriage, let alone whether he should choose to give up this marriage to let each other have the life they want.

I'm wondering if I should get a divorce.

One reason the divorce rate is so high these days is that many couples don't put in the effort to make their marriage work after they get married. When problems come up, they don't face them head-on and work through them in a proactive and timely manner. This leads to a build-up of problems that neither partner can handle on their own.

☀️ Communicate: The current way the couple gets along isn't what the questioner wants. Over time, this will cause the couple to lose the desire to communicate. Communication is what builds relationships. When there's a lack of communication, the conflicts in the relationship get deeper and deeper, which affects the feelings of the couple.

Make a point of chatting with your wife more often. When there's a disagreement, don't immediately jump to see and vent each other's emotions. Instead, focus on the issue at hand and address it promptly. It's helpful for the husband and wife to take turns sharing their thoughts and discussing a solution that works for both of them.

The questioner can talk more with his wife and let her know that he'd rather work through their issues together and build a happy home. He can also explain that excessive interference from both sides of the parents won't help the relationship.

The questioner feels disappointed with his wife because she's still acting like he did when he was younger, and he's changed a lot for the better. He doesn't know how to make this marriage work when his wife isn't willing to change.

I know I can do it, so I think my wife can do it too. I know the process of change won't be easy for me, so I think that if my wife doesn't change, it's because she's unwilling to admit her own problems and unwilling to go through that kind of hardship. If she's unwilling to change, no amount of effort on my part will make a difference. This makes me feel discouraged and helpless about the relationship.

We all have different abilities. What one person sees as a given, another might not. It all depends on how you look at it. The fact that the questioner is able to consciously change is because he has awareness, the ability to act, and a high level of comprehension. The fact that the questioner's wife has not changed at all is because she is weak in all aspects. She needs someone to patiently accompany her to grow and guide her, and the questioner is the right person for the job.

Today's wife is similar to the original poster. The poster has used methods that suit her to change herself and has already achieved some results, which shows that she has grown and gained methods and experience on the path of change.

The questioner can support his wife by changing his own methods and experiences, so that she can see how relying on her parents to help her solve marital problems is holding her back. He can also show her that he'll be there to help her through the changes, so that she knows she has his support. He can give her more affirmation and encouragement, so that they can look forward to married life together.

I hope my answer is helpful to the questioner. Best regards.

Hello! What should I say? It's a very emotional situation, and it's all summed up in just four sentences. You're probably pretty upset with the questioner for saying, "She's been like this for the whole year."

Are you upset, question asker? Let me upset you some more:

"You have the same problem." It seems like you're trying to "marry" her mother, while the other is "marrying" her father. They're not family, and they don't belong together. Your wife is defending her mother, and there's nothing wrong with that. You're defending your father, and there's nothing wrong with that either. What is the issue?

The mistake is using "you guys." You've both forgotten that you've already separated from your original families and formed new ones as individuals. In the future, it should be just the two of you facing her mother, your father, and everything else you encounter in your future lives.

"I used to take my father's side (a year ago), but now I can change," is an honest but unthinking response. So, have you changed?

How far does this go? Is it something your wife can accept?

Or do you have to wait for her to change before you change?

"She always sides with her mother (and the conflict only recently flared up)." If we look at the timeline of your narrative, it should be from a year ago to the present. You sided with your father, which may have caused a lot of conflicts. You went first? She sided with her mother, and the conflict only recently flared up. She went second?

And the severity is less than yours? So you're a bit like "allowing the governor to set fires but not allowing the people to light lamps"?

You've now recognized the seriousness of this problem. We can't expect to improve our relationship by changing the other person. As the saying goes, "He who would correct others must first correct himself." You have to change yourself before you can ask the other person to change, right?

On top of that, as the main players in a new family, have you talked about these characteristics of your family with each other? For instance:

How do you define the boundaries between your new family and your original families? What can you share with them, and what should you keep private? What can you ask them for help with?

We should respect both sets of parents and do what we've agreed to do. When it comes to what they say and do, what can we ignore and what do we need to talk about and say no to?

If there's a conflict, shouldn't we talk it through together before deciding who'll take the lead on finding a solution?

What are the key issues between you and your spouse when it comes to your parents? What are the concerns that you can't discuss or avoid lightly?

We've always thought of divorce as a normal thing. But marriage is also a serious and sacred bond, not just a product of hormones.

It takes two people to work things out, communicate, be tolerant, compromise, and shoulder responsibilities. Without putting in the effort and without giving it a fair shot, we shouldn't be quick to say "divorce."

Hello, friend on the uphill path!

I call you this because I have also experienced something similar with you, and I know you can do it!

There are so many kinds of intimate relationships! Some are mutually healing, which means that through conflicts, problems, and challenges, we can stimulate each other to see the problems in our own families and the deficiencies in our own natures. How exciting is that? Some are mutually fulfilling, which means that through spending time together, we can pick up on each other's emotions and deficiencies, and understand and accept each other. How wonderful is that?

First of all, there is no such thing as a perfect partner in this world. And fulfilling intimate relationships are actually very rare, because many of us have more or less serious problems in our families of origin and an inherent lack of self. But that means there's room for improvement!

Ultimately, you can answer this question for yourself: Are you and your husband just not compatible? Or can you solve this problem by adjusting yourself? The answer is in understanding yourself and clarifying your own character and needs!

Secondly, Taoism has always advocated seeking within and being active without being active. In my opinion, yin and yang are in balance, which is a wonderful thing!

Two gears connected together: when one moves, it affects the other. This is why it's so important to share responsibility for marital problems!

So, find ways to handle your relationship with yourself! For example, as you mentioned, you agree with your father. This reminds me that once upon a time, I listened more to my mother's opinions.

But I forgot that I was married, that I was an independent person, that I was no longer just a daughter, but also a wife. And that means I get to deal with my conflicts with my husband independently!

So, through the problems I encountered, I was also stimulated to think outside the box. I also discovered my own problem: I have not completely separated spiritually from my mother, and I am not very independent. But I am excited to work on this because I know I can do it!

This incident is a great reminder for me to become independent as soon as possible and to become complete as soon as possible! I am excited to say that I am gradually growing up now, trying to mentally separate from my mother and connect with my true self. I am also gradually improving my lack of independence through communication and other methods, which is really helping me to become more independent and complete!

You might be wondering, "Why doesn't your partner change? Why should you change?" I'm not going to answer that question just yet, but stay tuned!

I just want to say that being on the receiving end is really a blessing! It's something you can only understand, not explain. And it's a blessing I'm so grateful to have experienced!

If you can't stand the injustice, I've got great news for you! You can express your inner feelings to your partner (just describe your feelings, no blaming allowed). I really hope this helps!

So, although he and I are separated and not as perfect as we once were, he taught me to grow and to understand that imperfection is perfection (completeness).

But if I were me now, I probably wouldn't choose to be with him, or I wouldn't choose to be apart from him either. Because it's really not easy to meet someone after a thousand years of cultivating the conditions for sleeping together – but it's so worth it!

I wish you and your loved one all the best!