No, I have a very low self-esteem. Can I still pursue my own happiness in the future?

Don't you want to find your own happiness? You can! And you can do it even if you're not in a relationship.

This is not the same thing! It doesn't matter who you are or what stage of life you're in—you have every right to seek your own happiness! And you can do it if you want to!

It's clear that your childhood wasn't all fun and games. Living under someone else's roof since you were young has given you the chance to develop resilience and tolerance. This kind of life has been challenging, but it's also given you a unique perspective and a strong sense of self.

Your parents were away for a long time, unable to give you the love and protection of a parent, unable to give you the sense of security they bring. So you are prone to believe in people who bring you warmth and happiness! You like to be with them, enjoy the sense of security they bring, and long for their inner-derived confidence and happiness. It's great that you have such a positive outlook on life!

Your parents can teach you so much, like how to love and how to have sex. But your parents weren't there for you when you needed them, and that's why you were sexually assaulted by a boy in high school. But I want to tell you that this has nothing to do with your pursuit of happiness, and it will not become a stumbling block in your pursuit of happiness either. If you meet a guy who really cares about the virginity thing, it can only mean that this person is not the one destined for you, and he doesn't love the whole you either. If you meet someone like this, you should perhaps be grateful. After all, compared to the trivial matters of married life, isn't it very fortunate to be able to recognize someone before marriage?

There's this girl I know who's already a mother of two. She's tall, beautiful, and her husband adores her. From the outside, her life seems picture-perfect, but deep down, she carries the weight of a childhood trauma. She grew up in someone else's home, and every Chinese New Year, her parents would take her to each of her adoptive families to express gratitude and give them gifts. Some folks gave them a hard time, and after they returned home, her parents would scold her, thinking she was disobedient. But every time her parents left, she'd visit each of her relatives to borrow money. She'd stay with one relative for a while, then move on to another, facing the cold looks of all her relatives.

So she grew up watching people's faces like you did. She then started studying psychology, and she is still studying it. She absorbs energy from her teachers in psychology and goes back to face life with a smile on her face, ready to take on the world! She is now a goddess in our eyes. I think you can also turn grief into motivation and paint a rainbow in your life, right?

Congratulations on starting university! It's an amazing time in your life. I hope you'll put on a smile and face life with a laugh. If you get the chance, fall in love. If you don't meet someone you like, then study hard and prepare yourself for the future! Every experience has a reason, and everything is for the best!

I remember a saying from my school days that I really like. I don't know if you've studied it, but it goes like this: "Before Heaven can entrust a great task to a person, it must first make that person suffer hardship, toil, hunger, and deprivation. So, you must work hard!

Maybe you have a specialty in a certain area that will help more people in the future!

The majority of relationships ultimately fail, either due to the monotony of long-term commitment or the heartache of unfulfilled expectations. If love is merely a transient emotion, it will dissipate when confronted with adversity, as it can be easily elicited from other individuals. Infidelity is often justified by the assertion that the initial passion has diminished. However, authentic love transcends mere feelings and encompasses a sense of responsibility, mutual sacrifice, and mutual growth. It is not a transient emotion but rather a long-term commitment, a mutual dedication to sacrifice, mutual achievement, and mutual respect.

The assumption that virgins are the epitome of beauty represents a narrow perspective that restricts our horizons. It implies that our lives have reached a definitive endpoint, yet life is inherently cyclical. To fully embrace the nuances of life, we must strive to expand our understanding beyond the limitations of this assumption. The notion of certainty in life is inherently elusive. When we make a choice, we often encounter obstacles that challenge our beliefs and limit our progress. American psychologist Sternberg, who proposed the theory of love, posited that love comprises three fundamental components: passion, intimacy, and commitment.

Passion can be defined as the sexual component of love, an emotional obsession; intimacy is the warm experience that can be aroused in a loving relationship; and commitment refers to the decision to maintain the relationship or a guarantee.

If our love is based on sexual desire, then as we grow old and our sex drive diminishes, will we no longer have love? It can be argued that everyone has the right to love. However, if people are separated by sex, then if you fall in love with the wrong person, you may find yourself in a situation where you are forced to spend your whole life in darkness, punishing yourself for someone else's mistakes.

It is unfeasible to expect another person to meet all of your expectations. It is natural to love a person who is initially perceived as lovely; however, true love is the capacity to love someone even when they are no longer as lovely as they once were, and to be willing to discover their loveliness again. In order to achieve this, it is necessary to have a forgiving heart.

It is, of course, possible to pursue one's own happiness; however, the individual in question is currently unable to do so due to the fact that they have placed themselves in a situation that prevents them from doing so.

It is not the status of being a non-virgin that impedes one's progress, but rather the experience itself.

The anxiety and self-doubt currently exhibited are derived from the negative impact of being a Pick-Up Artist (PUA) and being abandoned by one's family of origin. The state of being non-monogamous is merely an external manifestation of these reasons, and it is not the primary factor impeding progress.

Furthermore, it is possible that your understanding of sexual intercourse is that the current state is not what you expect. Sexual intercourse should be a grand, unforgettable, and joyful process.

Currently, two problems must be addressed:

1. Perception of non-monogamy

This constitutes the initial step that must be taken. It is only when this objective truth and the reality of one's body are recognized that acceptance can occur.

It is irrelevant whether one accepts this state of affairs or not; it is a fact that must be acknowledged. It is unproductive to dwell on negative emotions such as regret or sadness. Even if one were to erase the memory through hypnosis, it would not alter the reality of the situation.

Furthermore, a relationship is a social process in which two individuals mutually recognize each other and are willing to actively invest personal time, space, and energy. Sexual activity is merely a component of this process. With an open mind and a foundation of equal and respectful feelings, being single will not affect one's pursuit of happiness.

The degree of happiness is inversely proportional to the discrepancy between one's expectations and objective reality.

Therefore, this does not impose constraints on one's pursuit of happiness.

2. For Personal Experience

This is the aspect that requires particular attention.

The reality is that the past is immutable and cannot be changed. It is therefore necessary to accept it.

In the remainder of your life, it is advisable to prioritize your own personal growth, establish your own ideals, set your own goals, and determine your own direction of effort, rather than dwelling on the past and allowing the present to pass you by.

#Recognize your own capital#

Currently, one has a considerable amount of capital at one's disposal, including time, personal space, energy, willpower, and other fundamental personal resources, in addition to one's knowledge, experience, and expertise. It is essential to categorize and assess these resources.

Regardless of how this capital is employed, it is inevitably consumed. It is therefore preferable to invest it in beneficial pursuits.

It is imperative to establish one's own objectives.

It is important to identify the aspects of life that are most significant and valuable to you, and to consider how these can be integrated into your long-term goals. Engaging in this process of reflection and integration can be a valuable exercise.

#Be courageous and confront the issue.

Once an individual has adjusted their state of mind, they are then in a position to confront the objective facts that were previously mentioned.

It is imperative to cultivate a sense of security and courage to navigate life with resilience and adaptability, particularly in the face of challenging circumstances.

It is imperative to extricate oneself from the state of confusion.

In the event that one is uncertain as to the appropriate course of action, it is recommended that one consults a suitable reference material and records the relevant information. This process should be continued for a minimum of seven days.

Should any doubts arise, they can be discussed in greater detail.

I wish you the best of luck, young woman seeking happiness.