Over 30, struggling to find motivation for work and life, feeling miserable, what to do?

The natural tendency of life is to gradually erode our resilience and motivation, leading us to abandon the ambitious self that once embraced limitless possibilities.

You have become accustomed to moving forward rapidly, continuing under pressure. Gradually, you lose your enthusiasm for life.

When these transient moments are no longer available, the result is a repetitive existence. Despite the awareness that this is an unfulfilling state, the individual is compelled to perpetuate it through routine.

In the majority of cases, individuals are merely going through the motions of life. Whether it's attending school, working, or getting married, it often appears that we are simply doing what we are expected to do at our age, gradually hiding our true thoughts.

To survive and thrive, it is essential to keep moving forward with your peers. As long as you maintain a sense of purpose and avoid complacency, you will be able to navigate life's challenges successfully.

There is a significant discrepancy between intention and action. You aspire to change, but lack clarity on the initial steps to take. You are apprehensive that altering your current circumstances might result in undesirable outcomes, leading to hesitation.

In our professional lives, we often dedicate significant time and effort to the benefit of others, which can result in a narrowing of our own personal and professional horizons. We all have an unfulfilled aspiration, however modest, that represents our deepest professional aspiration. It is important to identify and pursue these goals.

Do not be afraid of your own life and strive to live it to the fullest.

While the past is immutable, the future can be altered based on one's current circumstances. The decision to change or remain the same is ultimately yours. However, in moments of confusion, it's possible to allow external influences to make decisions on one's behalf.

It is not uncommon to experience periods of confusion. However, it is important not to allow these moments to dictate the course of your life. Take the time to reflect on your true aspirations and pursue a path that aligns with your genuine desires.

When you have the courage to pursue your own goals, any obstacles will become surmountable with the application of your efforts.

If you are unsure of your strengths and interests, it is advisable to invest time and effort into identifying them. It is important to identify the aspects of yourself that you are unwilling to relinquish.

The individual posing the question is referred to as the "question owner."

I am pleased to have this opportunity to engage with you on the Yixinli platform. It is, I believe, a fortuitous meeting of minds.

From perusing your written statements, it is evident that you are experiencing a state of confusion and anxiety. I am able to empathize with your emotional state.

I empathize with your situation and would be willing to provide emotional support remotely.

It is evident that you have a happy family life and a fulfilling relationship with your husband.

However, a life of tranquility is not what you desire. What, then, is the source of your reluctance?

In the context of the aforementioned "soft embrace of life," it is possible that the vision of the future may still be a motivating factor.

Alternatively, might it be the case that you consider your current life to be unfulfilling? It is my assessment that you are experiencing a state of confusion.

And thus, one might inquire, is the solution to be found?

And resolve this issue, would you not agree?

You have the potential to seek assistance from external sources.

This will assist in the comprehension of one's difficulties and the formulation of responses to them. This is your

This is a valuable strength.

To return to the subject at hand, when an individual experiences a lack of motivation in their life, feelings of being adrift and helpless may ensue.

In such instances, it is beneficial to seek assistance, as the individual may experience feelings of distress and uncertainty regarding their preferences and goals.

In such instances, one may choose to:

Appropriate relaxation is a beneficial practice that can be employed to achieve a state of tranquility and ease. It involves techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, and music therapy, which can help to calm the mind and body.

It is recommended that you allow yourself some time to relax and unwind. This could involve taking a walk, listening to music, or simply allowing your mind to wander.

One should refrain from dwelling on the individual who will engage in the aforementioned practice, and instead temporarily set aside their concerns.

It is imperative to eliminate the tendency to engage in servile thinking.

A slave mentality is a slave personality, manifested in fear of authority and submission to authority.

Those who submit to authority, lack the courage to uphold justice, and are unable to protect themselves (for example, the immediate supervisor in the department, who is sure to be infuriating) are exhibiting a slave mentality.

(For example, the immediate supervisor in the department, pua, whose methods are certainly unconventional, let us use the term "no

A deficiency in independent thought

Servility is a common phenomenon in many companies. Could it be argued that wolfishness is simply a more sophisticated form of servility?

"Servility" is a rule set by a company boss; one must simply adhere to it.

The individual's autonomy is effectively nullified by the imposition of a singular set of rules. Prolonged adherence to these rules can result in the suppression of an individual's unique identity, leading to a loss of self-confidence and the emergence of a passive, obedient persona.

Such individuals become desensitized and ultimately become mere obedient machines.

The perpetuation of servility is indicative of a lack of self-confidence. Those who exhibit a servile mindset tend to exhibit low self-esteem.

It is imperative to cultivate self-belief and acknowledge one's strengths. Regularly engaging in positive self-affirmations is an effective strategy for fostering self-assurance.

One should not succumb to the notion that one is worthless and incapable of achieving anything. Instead, one should endeavor to learn the value of encouragement.

One should not be afraid to try new things.

It should be noted that the opinions of others are subjective.

It is important to recognise that everyone's opinions are subjective and that there are inherent limitations to the way we think. The opinions of others

It is therefore unnecessary to feel that one is worthless or incapable of doing anything.

All individuals possess talents that enable them to excel in a multitude of settings.

It is recommended that one should endeavor to try new things and that practice will lead to proficiency.

In the event that one is uncertain as to one's preferences or areas of interest, there is the option of exploring a variety of activities.

One may also consider pursuing a new interest with enthusiasm and dedication, such as painting, singing, dancing, or calligraphy.

One may choose to hone their abilities in a variety of ways, including through activities such as calligraphy, cooking, or the practice of office software.

One cannot ascertain one's preferences until one has had the opportunity to experience them firsthand.

It is imperative to heed one's inner voice, discern one's aspirations, and ascertain one's true desires.

It is essential to identify one's desired course of action and then pursue it assiduously, integrating it into one's daily routine.

As stated in "Treat Your Time as a Friend,"

Some individuals fail to recognize the potential value in acquiring new skills when presented with the opportunity to do so.

It is always possible to utilize such skills at a later date, rendering them perpetually useful. Therefore, it is prudent to cultivate a diverse range of abilities.

Furthermore, some individuals refrain from learning due to a lack of perceived utility.

Consequently, life is replete with potential.

It is often the case that a lack of enjoyment in life stems from a lack of engagement with its activities.

Furthermore, a lack of initiative may result in a lack of stimulation and monotony in one's daily routine.

Furthermore, one should endeavor to identify sources of joy in one's life, such as the aroma of spring or the presence of stray cats and dogs in the courtyard.

The stray cats and dogs are all striving to survive, and the elderly women selling vegetables and fruits

Despite the challenges, a sense of happiness persists.

It is imperative to be courageous and alter the status quo.

Should one be dissatisfied with one's current state of life, one may wish to consider attempting a change.

Furthermore, it is imperative to transcend the confines of one's present comfort zone. To this end, it is vital to cultivate one's intellectual fortitude through the act of reading, to maintain an active and engaged mental disposition, and to establish a clear and defined objective, such as

One should endeavor to cultivate diligence in one's own mind and establish a personal objective, such as

One might endeavor to learn a new dish each day, perform a few push-ups, and lose weight.

Such strategies may include changing one's job or environment to provide a more challenging context.

These are the methodologies and techniques that I have presented to you. Despite the discomfort that may be experienced during the process,

However, the sincerity of the text content is akin to the bitterness of words that are beneficial in addressing the underlying issue.

It is my sincere hope that you will soon be able to dispel the confusion and anxiety that currently afflict you, and that you will be able to count on good fortune to remain by your side.

Hello, sister! Thanks so much for sharing your feelings.

As a friend, I give you a big hug of love!

I have to tell you, I really envy you for having children and a stable job. I think a lot of people envy you for your happy family.

[The universality of the problem]

The problem you mention is really quite common, and it can be viewed from two different perspectives.

1. Not feeling motivated to work or live your best life. Some psychologists even call this "emptiness disease," where you have everything but feel nothing and lack motivation.

On the other hand, it can be seen as an exploration of the meaning of life, which is more prominent in an era of material abundance. Almost everyone faces it, but the difference is that some people, especially those who achieve worldly goals early, become aware of it earlier. Others come later because they still have various goals to work towards, such as getting their children into a good school.

There are a few reasons why this might be happening.

It's so sad that the problem of "empty heart disease" is now somewhat common. It's related to the general environment of the times. Our generation, in the process of parenting, places too much emphasis on the achievement of external and utilitarian goals. As children, we pursued grades, academic performance, and getting into college. As adults, we set goals for work, a house, a car, and our children's grades.

We've kind of forgotten about the inner feelings and needs of the individual. To put it more dramatically, we've won the world, only to discover that we've lost ourselves.

It can be tough for folks who feel a bit empty inside to really connect with the meaning of life. It's not easy to feel like you're living from the inside out when you're lacking a bit of a sense of purpose.

2. When it comes to the meaning of life, it's a big lesson. Some folks say that the meaning of life is to keep asking this question.

Everyone has a different answer, and that's totally okay! If you keep asking yourself questions, you'll find your own answer. I believe that you can find the right starting point for you and then establish your personal mission in life.

Have you ever asked yourself, "Why am I here in this life?"

[Future-oriented]

1. Take some time for yourself! Start by observing yourself in your daily life, nourishing your inner self and making your inner experiences richer and more vivid. See when you feel heartfelt joy, when you feel comfortable and at ease, when you feel happy with someone, or what kind of people attract you.

Then, record these moments and discover a whole new side of yourself! It's there, waiting to be found. Create the conditions to slowly expand further and go deeper.

For example, you can start with a particular piece of music or song that you like to listen to.

2. Try to set aside a little time every day, even if it's just 15 minutes, to read classic works or other things unrelated to work, spend more time with great minds, and improve your spiritual realm. From what you've said, it seems like you're quite busy at work, and you don't have much time for personal pursuits. It can be hard to find new things to do day after day!

If we can't change our work, no problem! We can simply change our attitude towards it. If you give your work a unique meaning, you will find that even if it is still the same thing, doing it will already be different.

And you will find the wonderful energy that we often overlook.

And, as a bonus, children are a wonderful source of joy! They have so much to teach us. Wishing you all the best!

Hello!

I'm a mindfulness coach, and I believe learning is the greatest gift the body can receive.

From what you've said, I can tell you're feeling confused, anxious, and helpless.

I'm not going to get into the nitty-gritty of why you're feeling unmotivated at work and in your personal life. But I do have three suggestions for you:

First, I suggest you try to understand yourself and give yourself a little comfort.

It'll also help you feel a bit more at ease, which will give you a clearer idea of what to do next.

You say you're 35, have been married for over five years, have a son and daughter, and your marriage is fine. You're happy, but you feel busy at work, your boss likes PUA, you're not confident, you don't feel like you're trying hard enough, you're anxious every day, and you've found you've never been interested in anything since you were a child. You can't be fully engaged in anything, you have no motivation, and it's very painful. This state of mind is understandable because everyone wants to live a meaningful and worthwhile life and be full of motivation and confidence every day. What's more, you've never experienced what you really love since you were a child, so you can try to understand yourself, comfort yourself, and "see" that part of yourself that wants to live a relaxed and carefree life, but is temporarily very confused and suffering. This will give you extra mental energy to think about other things, otherwise your mind will be filled with all kinds of negative emotions.

It's also important to allow yourself to understand and accept yourself so you can make changes in your current situation. It might sound a bit contradictory, but it's true because change is based on allowing for no change.

Secondly, I suggest you take a rational look at your own situation.

Rational thinking can help you understand yourself and reality better.

To take a more rational view of things, there are two key things you need to do:

One thing you can do is recognize your own strengths.

In your description, you said that you are currently very insecure and feel that you are not working hard enough. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why you cannot find a job and motivation in life. At this time, you need to see your own advantages. Don't say that you have no merits, but rather, recognize that everyone has them, and you are no exception. The fact that you have come here for help shows that you are motivated. You are 35 years old and have a happy family, which is also a kind of success. You are not bad at expressing yourself, and you work hard and steadily (because you mentioned that you were still on duty on the day you gave birth). So you see, you have many merits. When you understand this, you are likely to no longer be so miserable.

Second, try to see yourself as you would a work in progress.

Maybe you can see the sparkle in yourself. You might not feel confident enough and think you still lack motivation in life. If so, you need to learn to view yourself with a developmental perspective because you're only 35 years old and have a lot of time and energy to improve and perfect yourself.

You might not know what your passions and interests are yet, but you have plenty of time to find out. It's important to remember that time is on your side.

It's also important to understand that your current self is different from who you were when you were younger. When you were younger, you didn't know what you liked because you were still learning and growing. But now you've had more time to gain knowledge and experience, and you're likely to find things that interest you. Believing in yourself is key.

When you look at things rationally, you can work through a lot of the negative emotions you're feeling.

Once again, I suggest you focus on yourself and think about what you can do to feel better.

Once you've identified your strengths and learned to view yourself with a developmental perspective, you'll be in a better position to take action. At this point, it's about focusing on yourself and doing your best.

For instance, you could ask yourself what you'd most like to do, or what your ideal life would be like. This kind of reflection can help you tap into your inner motivation, which could end up being a driving force in your life and work.

If you can't think of anything for now, take some time to look at the people around you. Who do you admire and wish you could be more like? This can help you find motivation to live and work in the future.

You can also talk to your husband about how you're feeling. He might be able to offer you support and understanding, or he might tell you about his dreams for life, which could help you find something you can devote yourself to.

Once you know what kind of life you want, you can use it as a goal and set a concrete plan to achieve it step by step. This will likely give you the motivation and confidence you need to make it happen.

Once you start taking action, you'll naturally start to feel better because taking action is often the best way to overcome negative emotions.

I hope this helps. If you want to talk more, just click "Find a coach" at the bottom and we can chat one-on-one.

Hello, I'm Fei Yun, a heart exploration coach. Thanks for sharing your story about your mood.

If you feel like your current stable and happy life is just fine, it means you still have a sense of progress and a pursuit of a better life.

When we think about what life is all about, we're already growing. Looking back on our lives, it's like climbing stairs:

If it's too high, it's too difficult and can easily undermine our confidence. If it's too low, there's no challenge and we feel no sense of meaning or value.

Once we get used to a certain way of life, an inner voice will remind us that we're in our comfort zone and warn us against becoming like the frog in the pot of water.

So, we develop this kind of psychological suffering, where we confine ourselves to a small world and live our lives as if it were just one day. But we're not willing to accept that.

Suffering has its uses. It can elevate our soul and give our lives more depth.

Suffering is just part of life. If you can accept it, it can actually help you to become stronger. If you accept it, let it go and fight against it, you can reduce the pain inside you by up to 50%.

Happiness comes from the little things, not from mountains of gold and silver. When you're rich inside, the outside follows.

Happiness and joy come from two sources: seeking what's outside of ourselves and cultivating what's inside.

Seeking externally: something external and material, such as a good job, more wealth, power, etc., as well as the affirmation, praise, and recognition of others.

If you're only looking for external satisfaction, you'll always have unfulfilled desires.

Cultivate yourself inwardly. Shift your focus from the outside to the inside. Achieve self-growth and improvement through learning.

There are a few ways you can find happiness:

1. Physical health and a happy mood.

2. Mind: You can develop mindfulness through meditation, calligraphy, the tea ceremony, and so on.

3. Emotion: Feeling loved is happiness.

Try to do things that are meaningful to others and to society, and find joy and greater value in them. For example, find your own talent, which has three characteristics:

1. This task doesn't require as much time and effort as others.

2. You enjoy doing it and feel a greater sense of accomplishment and value.

3. Pushing yourself to do this task consistently can give you a sense of empowerment.

Everyone who comes to this world has a responsibility or mission. And talent is that sense of mission that is unique to oneself.

I hope this is helpful to you, and I wish you all the best.

If you want to keep in touch, just click "Find a coach" in the top right corner or at the bottom. I'll keep in touch and we can work together one-on-one.

Hello.

A person's expression of feelings is directly linked to their background, experiences, and ability to interpret life. It is a simple fact that no one will feel sorry for themselves for no reason, nor will they innocently mock their own experiences. They may like to use "I don't feel happy" as a euphemism, but that is not the same thing. In essence, they have never expressed themselves, nor have they ever learned to express themselves.

If you feel the need to wake up and embrace your true self but don't know how to start, I've got the answer for you. It's simple: stop striving for perfection. Be a good person, a good daughter, a good daughter-in-law, a good wife, and a good mother. You have the right to express your feelings first and don't be afraid to compromise. Sacrifice is not always the only option.

Everyone starts by identifying with their own identity when they perceive themselves. However, they lose the opportunity to face themselves squarely and make corrections when they do so. Such days are like a superficial show, performed seriously but tasteless, because they lack a sense of value or honor in life.

You can rediscover the meaning and direction of your life. How?

Embrace your true self and demand the best from life.

When we watch an interesting program, it will never be a static one. The richer and more multi-layered the content, the better. This will give people unexpected surprises and a sense of relief. Why? Because life is the same. When a person's life is no longer embellished with colorful stars, their heart will begin to feel flat. It is more like drifting with the waves, because no matter what, time and life will push people forward. But there will always be a collapse, because the heart longs for a connection with positive energy.

You don't need to constantly belittle yourself to break this vicious circle. Live a down-to-earth life, get to know yourself, accept yourself, recognize your strengths, and work hard on your weaknesses. Learn for tomorrow's growth, and you will live your life to the fullest, even if life is unremarkable. Your rich inner content and thoughts will fill the emptiness inside.

Pay attention to your inner self and find your interests and hobbies.

People who have made their hobbies their careers are happy and lucky. In ordinary life, many people have no time to take care of their hobbies, gradually forgetting what they are. Their circle of life becomes smaller and smaller, and they become limited. Therefore, their horizons are easily trapped in their environment. They feel powerless to do anything. They are too lazy to think more about the many things that trouble them, but the anxiety of life will not go away. Because when people give up one door, we can only push open another. And this kind of compromise will not make us happy.

Not everyone can choose to enjoy life after rebalancing their lives. People must learn how to please themselves and get along with themselves when they are alive. This fighting spirit ignites a sense of inner value and makes you more goal-oriented. You will also begin to understand your own needs.

Life is complex and interconnected—it's a simple fact.

Let's be real: problems in life are usually caused by problems in our interpersonal relationships. After all, life is the sum of social relationships. Even a minor issue in a relationship can affect us internally. So, if we recognize the connection between the self and social relationships, we'll handle others with more balance and understand that things have causes and effects.

A leader's negative actions, even if tactful and hidden, will have a very negative impact on the people involved in the work. They will feel that life is not going well. However, blindly compromising and not responding will actually sap a person's enthusiasm for work and expectations for the future of the work. The foothold for changing such feelings is still to return to oneself. We must treat our thoughts as a filter that needs to filter out some of the negative influences, so as not to be affected. To achieve this, one needs the ability to think calmly, be proactive at work, and use wisdom to win. One must know that such a leader will not be copied all over the place, and the actions of an individual leader do not represent the entire environment. One must know how to see the truth, not easily negate oneself, and not let the immediate situation blur one's path.

I wish you happiness and success in finding your own way forward with determination!

Good day.

Host:

After a thorough review of the post, I was able to identify the root cause of the poster's anxiety. Additionally, I noted that the poster had the courage to openly acknowledge his challenges and proactively seek assistance. This approach will undoubtedly facilitate a deeper self-awareness, enabling the poster to identify his true preferences.

I am sharing my observations and thoughts in this post in the hope that they will be of assistance to the original poster in developing a more nuanced understanding of themselves.

1. Prioritize emotional management before addressing external factors.

From the content of the post, I can discern the poster's anxiety. The poster himself is aware of the underlying causes of this anxiety.

Because they lack motivation or a sense of purpose, and thus cannot experience happiness and well-being. The poster is adept at identifying the root cause of their anxiety, as many individuals are not.

From the content of the post, it is evident that the individual in question has been unable to overcome their anxiety. This raises the question of why.

From my observation and understanding, the individual in question does not address the underlying causes of their anxiety. Instead, they attempt to avoid or distract themselves from the discomfort associated with it.

The results indicate that anxiety persists despite efforts to the contrary. The individual in question also noted that periods of inactivity exacerbate their sense of disorientation.

I believe that, at this time, the individual may also be experiencing feelings of panic and emptiness. One potential solution is to directly confront these emotions and remain engaged with them for an extended period.

Examine your physical condition to identify any potential issues, then direct your attention to that area. Typically, within five seconds, the anxiety will dissipate.

When emotions are expressed, our rationality is also revealed. When we encounter the same problem again, we may have more ideas and be more open to new perspectives.

2. Explore further opportunities.

The current situation of the host prompted me to reflect on a few years ago, when I was also uncertain and lacked direction. However, a sentence from my brother provided a wake-up call.

He inquired as to the extent of my investment in my personal growth over the past year. This question prompted me to invest in learning and learning psychology, with the goal of identifying my own life direction.

Indeed, the host is currently experiencing a high level of confusion, as evidenced by their admission in the aforementioned post that they have not made a significant investment in self-improvement. However, I believe this is precisely what the host needs to do at this juncture.

If you have the resources, expand your horizons by trying new things and gaining new experiences. This process may lead to valuable insights and discoveries.

As long as we remain engaged, we will gradually come to understand that happiness and joy may be mere by-products. The very act of doing that thing will provide us with the experience of flow, which can bring us a sense of value, high self-esteem, and other positive emotions.

Naturally, the host can also identify their areas of expertise by reflecting on their professional growth.

From an early age, I was adept at fostering open communication with others, a skill that I later leveraged to excel in psychology.

3. Develop an internal evaluation system of your own.

It is sometimes necessary to ascertain one's preferences. The key to this is self-knowledge and understanding. How can we gain this knowledge and understanding?

It is also possible to reflect on one's own growth experiences and the educational and social environments in which one was raised. These experiences may have contributed to one's understanding of oneself.

Now that we are adults, we can use an adult's perspective to evaluate the feedback we receive and identify any irrational perceptions that may require adjustment. This process allows us to gain self-awareness and understand our own perspectives.

We may also consult with our spouses for their input and perspective.

Furthermore, the original poster indicated that the leader is highly proficient in PUA. Consequently, the original poster may require an even more robust internal evaluation system to ascertain the rationale behind the leader's statements and their overall reasonableness. When individuals possess a robust sense of identity and an effective internal evaluation system, the impact of external influences, such as a leader's words, is significantly reduced.

If, however, the relationship with the leader is consistently making you feel inadequate, you may wish to consider leaving if circumstances permit. It is important to take care of your emotional needs and maintain a positive mindset.

I hope these words have been somewhat inspiring to the original poster. My name is Zeng Chen, and I am a certified psychological coach.

I understand that you are currently in your thirties and that your recent life experiences have been generally uninspiring. This includes a lack of motivation, infrequent contact with your in-laws, financial pressures such as mortgage payments, and a high workload. These details may contribute to feelings of fatigue.

One detail is that you were still working the night shift on the day you gave birth. This may indicate that your work has already become a significant portion of your time, and you may not be able to rest unless it is absolutely necessary. It is as if constant busyness has already taken over fragments of your life.

On occasion, you may also experience a sense of aimlessness upon waking, questioning the value of your current workload and the reasons behind it. Additionally, your superior's interpersonal style and approach to tasks may present challenges to your acceptance.

In a work environment where manipulation is prevalent, it is easy to experience feelings of burnout, a lack of learning opportunities, and a sense of inadequacy. When these emotions arise, it is crucial to avoid becoming overwhelmed by them.

It is important to recognize that you still have your own family and that you possess many valuable skills. However, it is also crucial to acknowledge that negative thoughts may have taken over your life, leading you to view yourself in a less than favorable light.

If you feel you are not working to your full potential, it may be helpful to identify your strengths and work on developing them further. It is also important to consider whether you are satisfied with your current role and work environment. When you experience discomfort, it is valuable to take a moment to reflect on the specific cause. To gain clarity on your desired work and life goals, it is recommended to take a career personality test and seek guidance from a professional counselor.

Please advise.