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Paralyzing procrastination! How to go from deadline warrior to throwing in the towel, yet feeling compelled to act again?

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Paralyzing procrastination! How to go from deadline warrior to throwing in the towel, yet feeling compelled to act again? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

I often start doing homework only when I have no choice, battling with endless anxiety and adrenaline, yet always failing to finish it on time, dragging the whole class's deadline for submitting assignments. The completed homework rarely satisfies me, and this cycle continually wears down my willpower.

Even though I anticipated that the homework would take at least 7 days to complete (which was already very tight), I ended up procrastinating day by day, anxiously enjoying the joy of scrolling through my phone while delaying, and by the last day, when I had to do it, my entire mindset collapsed. Facing the assignment, my mind couldn't stay calm, and the anxiety of not completing it completely overwhelmed my actions, leading me to simply play on my phone and not want to do it anymore....

This pattern has been accompanying me and worsening over time, from once trying to catch up on homework to now just giving up. At the same time, my self-perception has gradually become lower, leading to anxiety and depression, which have affected my interpersonal relationships. For example, 1) when working in groups, procrastination often transfers the workload to others, causing me immense guilt. 2) On a regular basis, I often delay submitting my assignments, causing difficulties for the class leader between teachers, and my desire to become friends with the class leader has gradually become too risky. 3) I am extremely ashamed of this shortcoming.

Candice Candice A total of 9896 people have been helped

Dear questioner,

It's totally normal to put things off until the last minute! We all know that some tasks just have to be done, but we never get started until the deadline is approaching. It's so easy to get nervous and anxious that we end up not doing the task or doing it well. We end up feeling remorseful and warning ourselves that we must not procrastinate next time, but we continue to procrastinate and feel anxious, which can really affect many aspects of our lives.

1 [Positive procrastination: Let time work it out] Let time work it out! This is what I call positive procrastination. It means we can make choices about some things, choose to accept or give up, and accept less-than-perfect results. We try to actively solve almost everything without giving time a chance. This is true procrastination. Sometimes it seems that acting to solve immediate problems doesn't give us a sense of accomplishment, but only makes us feel more empty. Letting time work it out means we can make choices or reject them on our own, knowing in our hearts that we are facing the things that really matter, which will enhance our sense of self-worth.

2 [Negative procrastination: the real procrastination] We all procrastinate sometimes. It's only natural! But there's a difference between putting something off because it's not urgent, and putting something off because it's important but not urgent. Sometimes, urgent things aren't actually important. And sometimes, important things aren't urgent. It's okay to procrastinate sometimes. But it's also important to remember that putting things off in the long term can make things worse.

How can we solve this together? I've got a few ideas:

Let's break down our goal into smaller, more manageable steps. We all know that procrastination can be harmful, but it's often out of our control. Just like smoking is harmful, but many people still do it, the harm of procrastination might not seem like a big deal right now, but it can have a bigger impact over time. So, let's divide our big tasks into smaller, more manageable ones. This not only reduces stress by breaking down tasks, but it also puts everything under our control, which will help us feel more confident and, with a little practice, overcome procrastination.

2. [You can appropriately increase the pressure on yourself] Although increasing pressure will make the task more difficult, giving moderate pressure will motivate us to do things. Making good use of our self-esteem is the best way to give pressure. If you want to become a certain kind of person, you must first prove it to yourself before you can prove it to others. Pressure will drive us to complete our tasks.

3. [List the benefits of getting things done] As the title suggests, what happens when you complete a task?

Think about all the ways it will make you feel good! You can also list all the ways procrastination can drag you down and make you feel bad about yourself. This approach can help generate enthusiasm for doing things, and it can be used as a standard to measure whether something is worth doing.

4. [Always give yourself a little nudge] Subliminal prompts are a great way to encourage you to be more proactive when faced with a challenging task.

Absolutely! Positive mental suggestion leads to positive psychological improvement.

Psychologists believe that mental suggestion comes from a certain ability to be "independent and autonomous" in people's self-awareness. Once a good mood is established, it will form a special iron force that motivates us to change reality. We can often use short phrases to give ourselves positive and powerful suggestions. We can also use motivational pictures, books, mottos, celebrities, etc. as tools for positive self-suggestion. We can often watch inspirational movies or books to regulate our emotions and persevere. You will find it useful. Always motivate yourself and tell yourself, "I can finish on time, I must finish!"

I really hope this helps the person who asked the question.

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Silas Young Silas Young A total of 1682 people have been helped

Hello, question asker! It's so nice to meet you.

From what you've told me, it seems like you really dislike your procrastination habit, but you're not sure how to change it.

Time and again, you choose to avoid deadlines or even slack off. We all do it from time to time! Your mind can't control your body, and you end up in a state of huge self-doubt and anxiety because of your procrastination.

My analysis is as follows:

1. Let's make peace with your inner perfectionism, my friend.

From what you've told me, it seems like you have certain standards by which you measure yourself. For example, you hope that you can complete your work successfully, not cause the squad leader any trouble, and not cause trouble for others. But it seems like your body and emotions might be going against your thoughts.

I'd like to mention the lovely theory of the "elephant and the rider." The rider (our rational side) can easily control the elephant (our emotional side) when the elephant's desires don't conflict with the rider's.

In other words, our emotions can do whatever they want, and our reason can't stop them.

It's so important to remember that your mind is always trying to be perfect, while your body and emotions have a mind of their own! They can make us doubt ourselves if we let them.

It's totally okay to not be perfect! But it's really great to be able to meet at least 50% of the standards. It's more important to complete things than to be perfect.

2. Have you ever thought about breaking down your goals?

We all know that feeling when we get stuck trying to start something new. It's like there's no way to get started on the goal.

Maybe the goal is a bit too big and challenging for you right now. It's totally normal to want to avoid things that make us feel uncomfortable and anxious, especially when we're trying to pursue a temporary peace of mind.

I once came across a quote that really resonated with me: "Focusing too much on short-term results and neglecting long-term personal goal planning is covering up strategic laziness with tactical diligence."

It's okay, we've all been there! Thinking is often more difficult than hard work.

So, if you come across a goal you'd love to achieve again in the future, why not try breaking it down first by spending half a day on it, and just doing a little bit every day?

It's really quite simple! You'll find it makes your goals more tangible and it doesn't take much willpower.

Wishing you all the best!

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Vitalis Vitalis A total of 8670 people have been helped

Hello, I'm Gu Yi, and I try to be modest and consistent in my work.

From your description, I can see that you have a relatively accurate understanding of yourself and are willing to take responsibility. This is a good start. The main question is: since we know it's not good, what is preventing us from changing?

This pattern of behavior has been a part of my life for some time and seems to be getting worse. In the past, I would rush to finish my homework, but now I just give up. At the same time, I have noticed that my self-perception has gradually become lower, which has led to feelings of anxiety and depression. These feelings have affected my relationships with others. For example, when I procrastinate on tasks when working in a group, it ultimately shifts the workload to others, which makes me feel a huge sense of guilt.

2. I must admit that I often find myself procrastinating when it comes to handing in assignments. This has unfortunately led to some difficulties in maintaining a good relationship with the monitor, who has been very patient with me. I would like to have a good relationship with the monitor, but I am afraid to approach him. 3. I am ashamed of this shortcoming.

You may find yourself spending more time playing with your phone than completing related homework, as you believe there is still time to make up for it. However, as time progresses and it becomes more challenging to concentrate on your homework, you may experience remorseful emotions. Unfortunately, there are no clear solutions to this problem. It can be difficult to devote your thoughts to the world provided by your phone, which may lead to you giving up on other things. Have we considered putting down our phones?

From your description, I can tell that you are a good kid. You are at an age when you should be striving for more. We should gain a deeper understanding of the world. While the happiness that the entertainment electronic devices we use bring us is short-lived, the sense of meaning and satisfaction in the present will one day make us feel bored.

I believe that your behavior has had a significant impact on your learning life. I hope that we can address this in a constructive and positive way.

Perhaps it would be beneficial to try to let go of your dependence on your phone, go out more, and interact with your colleagues in the group. This could help you to experience the full thrill of knowledge.

Let's strive to become a provider of high-quality content for mobile phones.

Everyone will face their own challenges with emotions such as shame, but I hope you can adjust your state in time. Perhaps you could invite the monitor and the teacher to work together to supervise and help you, and get out of this state. I believe you can do it! Come on.

I hope this message finds you well. Please accept my best regards.

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Oliver Knight Oliver Knight A total of 5936 people have been helped

Hello, question asker!

From putting things off to completely avoiding them, the result is that you feel guilty and ashamed. How can you change your behavior to reduce your psychological burden? Let's figure it out together.

What's the reason for procrastination?

When it comes to procrastination, we're talking about things we've been putting off and are reluctant to do. Why don't we do them? There are a few reasons why.

(1) We think there's still plenty of time and there's no need to rush. For example, "If I estimate that the assignment will take at least 7 days to complete (which is already very tight), I end up procrastinating day after day."

It's because, deep down, seven days seems like a long time.

(2) It's challenging to complete, so I choose to avoid it.

(2) In the end, someone else might do it for us. As the questioner describes, "One's tasks are transferred to others."

We need to ask ourselves why we're putting things off. Is it because of the above reasons, or is it all of them, or are there other reasons?

Here are some strategies for coping:

(1) When it comes to the first point, it's not just about planning how long tasks will take, but also listing the specific tasks that need to be completed each day. This helps to keep the goal in sight and makes us more likely to take action on the things we need to do.

If we think we have plenty of time, we might as well tell ourselves, "I've finished today's tasks, so I'll go check my phone," and put off the pleasure of playing with it.

(2) For the second point, how are you worried that you won't be able to complete the task? We need to identify the "difficulties." We can ask teachers or classmates for help, or find some reference materials ourselves, and take concrete actions to relieve anxiety and stress.

(3) If we think, "Someone will help us finish the task eventually," we're indulging in the superficial benefits of procrastination. We can ask ourselves, "Have I really learned anything? If I continue like this, will I be able to stand on my own two feet in the future?"

To sum up, to beat procrastination, set yourself specific goals, break down tasks into smaller bits, take action, and complete your daily tasks. This will help you build confidence and break the habit of putting things off.

On top of that, we need to manage our urge to get gratification right away, like when we play with our phones, which is simple and enjoyable. We can treat playing with our phones as a reward for ourselves after we complete a task.

Do your homework first, then play with your phone. This way, you can play with your phone properly and without worry, which is a win-win.

When we're lacking in self-control, we need to bring in some external discipline. For instance, when doing homework, put the phone in another place where you can't see it, so that it doesn't affect your work.

If we can't see it, we'll naturally want to use it less. Or we can set a fixed time each day to use it. The questioner can find a method that suits them.

The key thing to remember is that the phone is a learning tool, and that we're using it, not letting it use us.

If you find yourself playing with your phone while doing your homework, you'll be well on your way to overcoming the habit of procrastination. Your phone can be a useful partner in this process.

We all know that overcoming procrastination can be tough. There will probably be setbacks along the way. When this happens, it's important to recognize when you're getting too engrossed in your phone, then take a step back, give yourself a pep talk, and get back to it.

Just a heads-up, the above suggestions are for reference only.

I hope these tips are helpful for you. Best regards!

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Mary Mary A total of 346 people have been helped

Hello there, question asker!

It's totally normal to procrastinate sometimes! I've been there too, and I've learned a few tricks to help me overcome it. Here are a few suggestions based on my experience that might help you:

First, let's take a moment to understand the nature of procrastination.

Our human brains have a natural tendency to "seize the day" because our ancestors lived in harsh conditions and had a short life expectancy. They often had to worry about whether they would even make it to the next day. So, they learned to enjoy pleasure as soon as they could. This is why the "primitive animal brain" instinctively believes that things that are effortless and immediately make me feel good are more important.

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We also have a modern brain, which is great for advanced cognition and rational thinking. But it formed relatively recently, so it can still be influenced by the primitive brain. This is why your rational brain's goals and plans might get in the way of your desires sometimes.

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It's totally normal to feel like you don't want to do something when you're being told to do it, right? It's like your brain is saying, "Oh, I'd rather play with my phone or watch videos!" And that's okay! We all have different motivators and ways of spending our time.

So, doing homework is tough for you because it requires a lot of mental effort and willpower.

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Second, let's try implementing the war-drag action together!

Let's look at procrastination from a different perspective. It's like you're playing a game and you have to fight monsters to level up. You need to upgrade your equipment to win. We need to take effective measures and not fight it head-on, otherwise it will only have the opposite effect.

The first step is to reduce the scope of action. This is a great way to make your goals more manageable and easier to achieve! You can break down your homework into smaller goals, and the smaller the better. Then, you can divide them by the hour, decide how much to be completed each hour, which section to focus on, and set a countdown time for each goal. You can even drop off one point for each completed point!

The second step is to give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back for all your hard work! Before or during the action, jot down the things you want that might be holding you back. Then, treat yourself to a little something for each small goal you achieve. This way, your inner child is happy!

The third step is to make the most of what's going on around us. We humans are social animals, and we're wired to work well together. When we join forces, we can achieve amazing things!

For example, you could make a date with your classmates to do homework together!

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Third, find the internal motivation to persevere. When you stop doing what others "want you to do" and instead do what you "want to do," all your actions will become spontaneous, and your primitive brain will enjoy the process. Therefore, finding an internal driving force is the ultimate method.

I've got a great method for you! It's all about experiencing a sense of boundaries. This is when we're thrown out of our comfort zone and forced to focus on the here and now.

Take a deep breath and ask yourself two simple questions.

Let's start with a simple question: "If I only had one day to live, what would I do?"

And now for the big question! If you could do it all over again, what would you do most?

In your answer, you'll find the ultimate goal in life, and this ultimate goal will also show you what you need to do now. Doing homework and studying will become the foundation for achieving your ultimate goal, and you'll find yourself taking spontaneous action. The energy for action will naturally be beyond your wildest dreams!

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Hi, I'm Cici Ai, an '80s generation traveler who overcame a low point through reading and healed herself through psychology. I really hope that my sharing can provide you with a little help. Go for it!

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Eliot Eliot A total of 8881 people have been helped

Good day, I hope this message finds you well. I have a question for you.

After reviewing your account, I can appreciate the sense of regret and self-criticism that often follows procrastination.

It is not uncommon to observe instances of papers being submitted only just before the deadline, study plans that are never implemented, and individuals who are unable to refrain from checking their phones and surfing the web despite being engaged in other tasks.

Indeed, a significant number of individuals experience considerable distress as a result of procrastination. While they may dislike their procrastination behavior, they often attribute it to factors such as laziness or inadequate time management. However, are there more profound psychological reasons behind procrastination?

What are the underlying causes of procrastination?

1. Psychologists have demonstrated that children who are raised in authoritarian, strict families, where they are consistently instructed to obey and rarely experience warmth and love, are more prone to procrastination as adults. This is because procrastination can be seen as a passive-aggressive act, whereby individuals rebel against the perceived control by avoiding tasks.

2. Some individuals intentionally procrastinate due to a subconscious fear that completing tasks effectively will result in additional responsibilities. If tasks are completed well, it will demonstrate their capabilities, leading to higher expectations and increased pressure.

3. Some individuals are apprehensive about the prospect of failure. Those who habitually procrastinate by stating, "I'm not ready yet," may be concerned that upon commencement of a task, the outcome may not align with their expectations, leading to the revelation of their perceived incompetence. However, this apprehension about failure persists over time and represents a significant obstacle to achieving results.

4. Research indicates that individuals who habitually procrastinate often experience elevated stress levels due to pre-procrastination anxiety. These individuals frequently engage in self-defeating thoughts, such as the perception that they lack self-control and therefore engage in time-wasting behaviors, as evidenced by their social media activity.

This self-criticism, in turn, serves to exacerbate the procrastination, creating a vicious cycle. There are, of course, other reasons, but these are just some of them.

What measures can be taken to prevent procrastination?

The first step is to learn to break down tasks into smaller, more manageable components.

It is advisable to divide large objectives into smaller, more manageable tasks. This approach makes it easier to complete each task and increases the likelihood of success. The sense of accomplishment gained from completing each small task will also contribute to the achievement of the overall objective.

I advise you to employ the baby steps principle. I suggest you read Chen Hai-xian's "Amazing Me," which addresses procrastination and offers strategies for change.

2. Consider the potential benefits of completing the task.

Consider the advantages of completing a task, the satisfaction you will gain, and the sense of accomplishment you will feel. For instance, if you complete a task on time and to a high standard, you may receive a bonus, gain a higher status at work or in school, and win the appreciation and respect of others. At the same time, you should learn to reward yourself for every small victory in a timely manner.

It is also important to avoid self-criticism. Accepting oneself is an essential first step in effecting change. When faced with a new task, it is helpful to remind oneself of one's capabilities.

Research indicates that individuals who possess a positive self-image are better able to regulate their behavior and are more likely to persevere in the face of adversity. If resources are available, seeking counseling and consulting with a professional on the underlying causes of procrastination may be beneficial.

Best wishes for success!

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Quentin Alexander Sullivan-Rodriguez Quentin Alexander Sullivan-Rodriguez A total of 939 people have been helped

Hello, question asker! I'm happy to discuss procrastination with you.

From what the questioner has said, it seems that procrastination is affecting his relationships with others and causing him negative emotions. I imagine he must be feeling pretty anxious, right? When faced with homework or tasks, he wants to complete them but just can't motivate himself to get started right away. He waits until the last minute to rush through them and often can't finish them, which is really frustrating.

Not only are you unhappy with your own actions, but your classmates also feel disgusted by you, which seriously affects your interpersonal relationships. This must be really uncomfortable for you. I'm pleased that you're willing to change your procrastination behavior. This is a positive attitude that's worth celebrating!

So, what exactly is procrastination? And what causes it?

Why do you put things off? How can you improve your time management?

I'll answer all of these questions below.

Procrastination is when you put off doing something you need to do, even though you know it'll have bad consequences.

Most people think procrastination is just laziness, making excuses, or not knowing how to manage time. But research shows it's actually a complex psychological problem that stems from fear, fear of difficulty, and fear of consequences.

Procrastination is more of a personal issue. It can be caused by things like the pursuit of perfection, a lack of self-confidence, or external factors like external temptations and noise.

Once you know what's causing procrastination, you can focus your efforts on improving it.

Break your goals down into smaller, more manageable steps.

It's easier to achieve smaller goals than it is to achieve larger ones. When you succeed at the smaller goals, it increases your confidence and motivation.

For instance, if you find yourself thinking, "Someone's passed me," "Someone's passed me again," and "Do I want to keep running when there are so many people in front of me? I might as well stop," while running a marathon, it's a clear sign that your procrastination is back. Extended running is the most torturous. If you keep thinking of the finish line as your destination, you'll become increasingly anxious and impatient because you cannot see it. On the other hand, if you observe the terrain before running a marathon and divide the finish line into several sub-points as small goals within your big goal, you'll find that the finish line is actually not very far away.

The bigger the goal, the more obvious your procrastination will be.

So, when you're trying to get through an assignment or task, it's better to break it down and decide what you're going to do in each time period. Instead of trying to do everything at once, it's better to set aside a good chunk of time for it. That way, you'll find it easier to get it done and you'll be less likely to put it off.

Positive mental suggestion

People who procrastinate will always find reasons to put off finishing a task until the last minute. At this point, it's a good idea to give yourself a little pep talk: "If I get this done, I can have two hours of gaming," or "If I finish this, I can have a big meal." It's all about rewarding yourself for getting things done.

Reversing the order of these two things will have a different effect.

Focus your attention on the task at hand.

Procrastinators also tend to lack focus. They're easily distracted and affected by mood swings. This makes it hard for them to stick to a task because they're controlled by their emotions. If possible, try creating a dedicated environment for completing homework. For example, when in the library, only do homework and temporarily turn off your phone or give it to someone else to keep for you. As long as you have a stable learning and working environment, you'll find your attention is more focused.

Concentration still requires training. One way to start is to read a book and focus on it. Start by concentrating for 15 minutes, then half an hour, then 45 minutes, and finally an hour. Repeat this cycle and put aside all your distracting thoughts. The key to this method is persistence.

There's another way to handle it. When you're focused on your work and suddenly you feel bad and don't want to do it anymore, just ignore your emotions (go ahead and be angry, it will pass anyway, I'd better get back to work) or write down the things you want to do to unwind after work and finish them one by one after you finish your work.

It's time to change your attitude.

Some people say that procrastination is a syndrome, but the word "syndrome" always makes me think of something bad. Procrastination has affected our lives to a certain extent, which is obvious. Many people may not have reached the point of procrastination, but they have indeed caused some unnecessary trouble because of procrastination. To put it more colloquially, it is like the same reason why a person who is focused on thinking while walking does not fall over: it is the subconscious mind at work.

Procrastination is also a subconscious way of telling yourself that there's too much to do, like "there's still time, take your time," "it doesn't matter if you do well, you won't be evaluated," or "everyone does it that way, why bother?" This kind of self-hinting is too negative and doesn't help you think in an enterprising way. When the subconscious mind gives you these messages, you need to reject them.

As long as you're willing to make changes, there are always more solutions than problems. When you're ready to change, you've already taken the first step. The future of getting rid of procrastination is definitely not far away.

I hope this helps.

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Elliott Simmons Elliott Simmons A total of 4505 people have been helped

It's time to take control of your life and conquer your procrastination! We all have a lot on our plates, and it's easy to get overwhelmed. But, you can do this! You'll be amazed at how much you can get done when you take control of your time and focus on what's important.

If you can't get those important things done, you can imagine that opportunities are reserved for the prepared. This means that numerous good opportunities will pass in front of you, slipping away in broad daylight! When the opportunity arises, you'll be ready to seize it and make the most of it.

Powerlessness was once an ancient way of expressing oneself, while "can't do it" is actually the current vernacular way of thinking. The work submitted in the last little bit of time probably isn't of particularly good quality, but that's okay! You can still make improvements and get really good at this.

It's totally normal to take a little time to identify and fix your shortcomings. And it's also normal to need a little more time to improve the areas that need improvement. But don't worry! This anxiety will only spread if you let it. You can choose to be disappointed with the final result, or you can choose to be confident and motivated. And that confidence and motivation will lead you to other forms of procrastination.

Your original procrastination may be a transfer of enjoyment and avoidance. You feel that there are still many things that are very interesting, and you want to get these things done first, and then do some serious things. However, there is so much enjoyment, and then there is more enjoyment!

There's so much to watch, so many news stories to keep up with, and so many TV series to enjoy! Time waits for no one, so make the most of it. If you've become aware of your own problems, it's a great idea to seek psychological counseling. At the same time, set personal goals for yourself, manage your own meaningful time planning, do what you need to do at the right time, and you'll be able to enjoy yourself in no time! Good luck!

ZQ?

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David Rodriguez David Rodriguez A total of 8165 people have been helped

From what I can tell, the questioner is engaged in a constant struggle with procrastination. In trying to overcome procrastination, the questioner has repeatedly failed and repeatedly fought back until he is physically exhausted, but his heart is unwilling to accept defeat.

"I always start doing my homework when I have to, struggling with anxiety and adrenaline, and I never finish it." The questioner finds it a "brutal battle" every time they do their homework!

"If I know the homework is going to take at least seven days to complete, but I still put it off day after day, feeling anxious but also enjoying checking my phone while procrastinating, and when I really have to do it on the last day, I just can't do it," it seems that the questioner has gradually "led" herself into the "trap" she set for herself step by step. In order to finally "face the homework, my mind is completely unable to calm down, the anxiety of not being able to complete the homework completely overwhelms my actions, and in the end I simply play with my phone and don't want to do it..."

The "goal" was finally achieved, and the questioner found a moment of "relief." It seems that I've accounted for myself and done the homework.

"This pattern of behavior has always been with me and is getting worse." How long has this pattern of behavior been with the question asker, and do you remember when it first started? What was your initial encounter with it, and why did you decide to start dating?

As a result, my self-esteem took a hit, and anxiety and depression set in, which took a toll on my interpersonal relationships.

For example, if I don't do my group work, it ends up falling on other people, which makes me feel really guilty.

2. I always put off turning in my assignments, which makes it tough for the monitor between the teachers. I've been afraid to get close to the monitor, who I've always wanted to be friends with.

3. I feel pretty ashamed of this shortcoming.

The questioner knows this pattern has caused him a lot of trouble and inconvenience, but he still "prefers" to do it this way. This shows that the hidden benefits, or importance, that procrastination brings to the questioner far outweigh these troubles and inconveniences!

Maybe the lack of procrastination is hiding something the questioner can't face or accept. It might be a bigger "deterrent" to the questioner than the current troubles and inconveniences caused by procrastination.

What if, overnight, the questioner's "procrastination" problem just disappeared? What would be presented in front of the questioner? Would they be happy about it, or would they feel more anxious and fearful?

I really hope my response helps you out. Best wishes!

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Zachariah Zachariah A total of 1656 people have been helped

Hello!

Host:

After reading the post, I could really feel how the poster was feeling. It was clear that she was feeling ashamed and that she had high expectations of herself. I also noticed that she was brave enough to face her inner self and actively seek help on the platform. This helped her to understand herself better, which in turn helped her to adjust and become a better version of herself.

I'd love to share some thoughts from the post that I hope will help you see yourself in a different way.

1. Our "vices" benefit us

The famous psychologist Wu Zhihong said something really interesting. He said, "The reason we can't let go of a behavior is that it must have brought us benefits, otherwise we would have let go long ago." But, from what the poster said in the post, it seems like procrastination has caused the poster a lot of harm. I don't see any benefits, but I'm sure there are some!

So let's explore this from my own perspective, based on what I've seen.

I noticed in the post that the poster mentioned that he was almost dissatisfied with the completed homework. I totally get it! We all feel this way sometimes. When we're not happy with our efforts or the results, it can be really hard to keep pushing forward.

Why should I work so hard on my homework? I'll never get a 100%, so why bother?

I think there's a good point here. If there's no difference between a 50 and an 80, why not just aim for a 50? It might be helpful for the host to think about what kind of homework would make them happy.

Do you have some perfectionism? If you can't achieve perfection, don't worry about it! Just don't do it.

If you don't do it, you can at least say that you didn't do it because you procrastinated. And if you don't procrastinate, you can definitely do it!

At least this can give us some comfort, and help us feel better about ourselves.

It's not that I can't do it myself, but I just get held up by external factors. I guess that's one of the benefits of procrastination!

So, what the original poster really needs is to understand the deep-seated need behind procrastination. Once we do that, we can start to understand and know ourselves better.

2. Sometimes, it's better to just get it done than to worry about being perfect.

Have you ever wondered what perfectionism really is? Well, it's simply an attitude of striving for excellence.

Of course, I don't deny that some people can really achieve perfection, but they are a very, very small minority.

It's like Mr. Star — it doesn't happen often. One actor of the year, one Stephen Chow in a century.

Most of us are just regular folks, you know?

So the most important thing is to learn to accept yourself, your true level, and what you can do for your life as your real self. Sometimes we can feel so down because we want to be the ideal self and don't accept our real self.

It's totally normal to feel a bit overwhelmed when there's a big difference between what's happening in real life and what we imagine it should be like. It can be really painful when we're not quite where we thought we'd be by now.

So, we just need to learn to try to adjust the gap between reality and ideals. I accept the way I am now, and I've set a goal that I know I can achieve.

Set a goal for yourself! As long as you get your homework done on time, that's great! And don't stop there. Once you've achieved this goal, set a slightly higher one for yourself.

And that's how we'll keep making progress!

It's so important to remember that completion is more important than perfection, especially for where we are right now. And it's totally okay to get a 70 out of 100!

You've done a great job on the homework! You've already surpassed many people.

3. It's time to stop being so hard on yourself and start caring for yourself.

Sometimes, we can be our own worst enemies. We can be so hard on ourselves! But, if we are kind and caring towards ourselves, it will give us the strength to go further.

It's so important to remember that when we're self-attacking, we're actually using up a lot of our precious energy and vitality. This can leave us feeling really exhausted, and it can even affect our ability to do the things we love.

We all know that when others attack us, we will defend ourselves. The same goes for when we attack ourselves. From the post, I can see that the poster is feeling guilty, ashamed, and unsure of themselves.

I think the poster might find it helpful to imagine that their best friend was in the same situation. Would they be able to help them? I think the answer is probably yes, and that it would be about showing care and understanding.

So the original poster might as well give that care and understanding to themselves. Let yourself have the strength to go further, my friend.

Finally, self-growth takes time. Please give yourself the space and time you need to learn and grow. If you have any difficulties, please don't hesitate to talk to me.

Hi, I'm Zeng Chen, a certified psychosynthesis coach. I really hope this helps!

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Penelope Castro Penelope Castro A total of 5170 people have been helped

Good day, classmate. I perceive the confusion you are currently experiencing, and I extend a supportive gesture in the form of a hug.

It is evident that you are currently experiencing some behavioral issues. Allow me to extend another warm embrace.

1.) The rationale behind the current procrastination

The current tendency to procrastinate can be attributed to the fact that it is beneficial to the individual in question.

As long as the task remains uncompleted, another individual will invariably assume responsibility for its completion.

Therefore, it would be logical to conclude that the optimal course of action would be to refrain from undertaking the task.

2) Another potential reason for procrastination

It is also possible that the procrastination is a result of the task being perceived as too challenging.

It is a natural human tendency to avoid situations that are perceived as challenging or overwhelming. When faced with a task that seems insurmountable, the individual may feel that it is preferable to avoid it altogether, rather than attempting to complete it and potentially failing.

In such instances, avoidance may be a contributing factor.

It would be beneficial to be honest with your study group and express your opinion that the tasks are too difficult. You may wish to request that your colleagues provide you with easier tasks.

The sense of shame that you currently experience is a result of the belief that you are holding your classmates back. This indicates that you are taking the issue seriously and that there is still hope for you.

3. Additional Causes of Procrastination

It is similarly conceivable that the tendency to procrastinate has been established since childhood.

The underlying reasons for this habit are worthy of further investigation.

Only by identifying the underlying cause of procrastination can one effectively address the symptoms.

4. Advice

Should the need arise, it is recommended that you seek the assistance of a professional counselor.

A counselor is better positioned to adopt a third-party perspective, free from the constraints of a critical eye, and to offer objective advice that is pertinent, useful, and constructive.

It is my sincere hope that you will be able to identify an effective solution to the problem you are facing in the near future.

At this juncture, I am only able to consider these matters.

It is my sincere hope that my responses will prove both helpful and inspiring to you, my esteemed colleague. I am the answer, and I dedicate myself to rigorous study on a daily basis.

At Yixinli, we extend our warmest regards to the world and to you. Best wishes!

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Comments

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Quinn Miller The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.

I can totally relate to feeling stuck in this cycle of procrastination. It's so frustrating when you know what needs to be done but can't seem to get started until it's almost too late. The anxiety just piles up, and even when you do start, the work doesn't feel good enough. I've been there, and it's really hard on your confidence.

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Anthea Jackson Learning is a way to overcome the limitations of our own minds.

It sounds like you're under a lot of pressure, and it's understandable that you'd want to escape by scrolling through your phone. But I wonder if there's a way to break this pattern, maybe by setting smaller, more manageable goals each day. That could help reduce the overwhelming feeling and build some momentum.

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Sadie MacKenzie When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.

I hear you about the guilt from letting others down in group projects. It must be tough knowing that your delays impact others. Perhaps talking openly with your group members about your struggles could lead to more understanding and support from them. Sometimes sharing your challenges can bring people closer.

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Carina Anderson The pursuit of knowledge in both ancient and modern studies is a path to wisdom.

It's heartbreaking to see how this has affected your selfesteem and relationships. You're not alone in this; many students face similar issues. Seeking help from a counselor or therapist might provide strategies to manage the anxiety and improve your selfworth. It's okay to ask for help.

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Jackson Jackson A person of erudition is able to integrate knowledge from different sectors.

The desire to connect with your class leader is admirable, but it makes sense that you'd feel hesitant after causing trouble with late submissions. Maybe starting with a sincere apology and a commitment to change could rebuild trust. Small steps towards reliability can make a big difference over time.

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