Part-time jobs affect the learning state. For example, if you step on a mine and your parents scold you at the same time, can you hold on?

Dear questioner, I am writing in response to your question.

You're going through a rough patch, but you're handling it well. You're putting in the work to study and supporting yourself financially with a part-time job. You're driven and determined to change your fate through study. You're taking responsibility for your future and making choices that align with your goals.

You are also very filial. You work hard and do many things, but you give all your wages from your job to your parents.

It's clear that your parents haven't understood your efforts, despite your hard work. You've been putting in the effort at your job and in your studies.

You come home every day after working hard, hoping to receive love and support from your parents, but all you get is blame and abuse. This makes you feel frustrated and disappointed. Despite all the difficulties you have encountered, you have persevered in being yourself, which is not easy.

You will overcome all obstacles to achieve your goals. Let's take a look at what we can do.

Let's cut to the chase and examine the reasons why parents do this. The vast majority of parents in the world love their children. However, there are also many parents in the world who don't know how to express their love. They blame and scold you a lot and don't believe that you can pass the exam. In fact, if you look deeper, you will often find that these parents have had an unsatisfactory life themselves.

They are ashamed in front of their friends and family because their lives are not fulfilling. They want to prove to their parents and friends and family that they are useful people. When they fail in their careers, they control their children and make them excel to satisfy this vanity. They do this to show everyone that they are useful and have done something remarkable. They want to prove that they are not worthless.

Once this hope is dashed or they see no hope of achieving it, they become extremely anxious, worrying that their friends and family will look down on them, laugh at them, and think they are as useless as they are at work when it comes to raising their children. Parents are often strict with their children because they want to prove themselves useful.

They want to prove their usefulness, but they're more worried about their children's future. Parents love their children. Our country's Confucian civilization influences them to be strict with their kids. But when parents don't have much education, they're confused about how to educate their children for a better future. They resort to a powerless method: criticizing and scolding, hoping it will motivate their children to study, work, and find a good husband. But this method will only make their children worse and more tired.

I know you feel a lot of pressure and find them annoying.

We can also learn a lot from these things. For example, we can see the limitations of our parents and realize that they didn't do so well themselves. This means that their guidance, criticism, and abuse are also powerless. If they were really that right and good, they would have become rich a long time ago.

We can and should automatically filter out comments that criticize them. If they are helpful, we can adopt them. If they are just emotional venting, we maintain our own boundaries.

The last point is this: if you can see that your parents' scolding and abuse is driven by their love for you, you can transform the pressure and worry you feel into love. This will make your life much easier.

I am confident that my answer will be helpful to you. I wish you a happy life.

From your description, it is evident that you are experiencing a profound sense of distress, anger, and resentment. When you were in a state of sadness and in need of emotional support, your parents did not demonstrate an understanding, care, or encouragement towards you. Instead, they resorted to belittling, blaming, and complaining about you.

It is, therefore, unsurprising that the subject in question found the situation disappointing and difficult to calm down.

Let us examine the confusion you have expressed and propose a solution.

Are you currently experiencing emotional distress?

In your article, you indicated that you are an older unmarried woman preparing for an exam. It is evident that you possess a high level of ambition and motivation. Could you please elaborate on whether you are content with your current lifestyle?

Do you experience feelings of worry and anxiety about your life? If you are not in a positive emotional state and have not aligned your life rhythm and emotions, you may be susceptible to external influences.

It is therefore important to consider how one might arrange one's life in a way that is conducive to emotional stability and contentment.

It is challenging for parents to consistently comprehend and endorse their children's aspirations.

Individuals with aspirations may anticipate that their loved ones will comprehend and assist them. However, a generational divide often exists between parents and children, as they have disparate experiences, requirements, and perspectives.

I am unaware of the financial circumstances of your family. Could you please elaborate on your decision to work part-time?

Please indicate whether you have any other sources of income. You have indicated that your parents hold you responsible for being a financial burden to them.

It would be beneficial to ascertain the meaning of the term "drag" in this context. Additionally, it would be prudent to determine whether there are financial constraints.

Such individuals may experience a sense of limitation in their capacity to provide support and understanding in specific domains. When confronted with a sense of powerlessness, they may become emotionally reactive. Some individuals find it challenging to regulate their negative emotions, which can manifest as harsh speech and actions, resulting in feelings of hurt.

It is important to develop the ability to be content with oneself when others are unable to meet one's needs.

The process of growing up as an adult is also a process of continuous psychological maturity. It is common for adult children to desire their parents to be perfect, yet parents are not infallible. They possess limitations, personal aspirations, and experiences of vulnerability, and thus require understanding and care.

Adults must learn to satisfy their own needs, soothe their own emotions, affirm themselves, and take responsibility for their own choices.

The establishment of boundaries is a key factor in facilitating positive relationships between adult children and their parents.

Psychological boundaries refer to the maintenance of a specific psychological distance between parents and children. The process of maturation entails a psychological separation from one's parents.

This is the key to maintaining a positive relationship between parents and children.

The aforementioned behaviors, including residing with one's parents, providing financial support to one's parents, abstaining from part-time employment, and acquiring parenting knowledge on one's first day, are indicative of a deficiency in psychological boundaries. Adults should exhibit a degree of independence from one another, avoiding excessive interference or reliance on one another, and assume responsibility for their own decisions.

It is recommended that the following texts be read: "20 Lectures on Life's Confusions," "Is It Really My Fault?" and "Breaking Out of the Original Family."

It is my sincere hope that these texts will prompt you to engage with these issues in a thoughtful and meaningful manner. Wishing you the best.