Dear Questioner, Everyone has their own lifestyle and values. Being too thrifty can affect your life and relationships. I can see you're trying to face the problem and seek change.
Here are some suggestions:
Accept your flaws and work to improve them.
You said you're weak in sales and self-critical. This is a common problem, but you can only make changes by accepting your shortcomings.
You can learn sales techniques or get help from colleagues and friends.
Don't dwell on things.
You get caught up in things and your emotions are unstable. This may affect your work, life, and relationships.
Control your emotions. Don't let negative emotions take over. When you encounter problems, think differently or find something else to distract you.
Tell your friends how you feel.
You like this friend in Shanghai, but are afraid your actions will affect the friendship. Talk to her honestly, tell her what you think and feel, and listen to her advice.
Respect her feelings and needs. Don't stress her out.
Give yourself time and space.
You're having some setbacks and feeling frustrated. This is normal, but you need time to adjust.
Do something you like or go out with friends to relax and feel happy.
Change takes time. As long as you can keep going and look on the bright side, you will be able to overcome difficulties and live a happier life.


Comments
I can see how tough things have been for you lately. It sounds like you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself, and it's affecting your confidence. Maybe it's time to focus on selfcompassion and remind yourself that it's okay not to be perfect. Everyone has their struggles, and acknowledging them is the first step to overcoming them.
Sometimes we are our own worst critics. Your friend pointed out some areas where you feel you're lacking, but remember, she cares about you and wants to see you succeed. Perhaps you could channel her feedback into motivation to improve rather than letting it bring you down.
It seems like you're really valuing this friendship, which is important. Friends come and go, but true friends stick around through thick and thin. Try to communicate openly with her. Let her know how much her support means to you and ask if there's a way you two can work through these issues together.
Your feelings of failure seem tied up in your job and living situation. Instead of focusing on what you perceive as shortcomings, maybe set small, achievable goals for yourself. Each success, no matter how minor, can build your confidence and help you move forward in a positive direction.
The stinginess issue might stem from deeper insecurities or fear of loss. Consider exploring why you feel the need to hold back. Therapy or counseling could provide a safe space to unpack these emotions and develop healthier habits when it comes to spending and generosity.