Preparing for the postgraduate entrance exam feels like being bound. How do I break the shackles in my heart?

Hello, host!

I admire your ability to perceive yourself. I can relate to your feelings of being controlled for a long time and having a deep aversion to their suggestions. It's so hard to find our own way when we're trying to escape from something we don't even recognize as controlling us. I can relate to your feelings of finally finding yourself and your own internal drive, and then having any of their words seem to be trying to send you back to your old, terrible situation.

Your gaze is so penetrating. It's like you're looking right through me! You're saying, "And it seems that their suggestions are entirely for their own benefit. They think that they know how I will be happy, and they think that I should do this and that..." I know it's not easy to see this. I've been there! When you finally say, "I know that this is actually a form of self-imposed bondage," and ask for a way out, I can see your courage in facing yourself, even though you are still in your early twenties.

I'm so moved and inspired by the powerful force of self-growth within you! I applaud you!

I just want to say that you already have the method to break free and are already on your way to breaking free. All you need to do is keep following your own wishes and keep trying to become yourself. You're already doing great! Just like when you decided to take the postgraduate entrance exam and entered a good learning state, you can do this too.

I can see that your determination and state were completely disrupted by your father's "teaching" phone call. It seems that although your determination and efforts once brought you a very strong inner strength, in the face of your father's teaching, they instantly crumbled, as if you had turned back into the helpless and powerless child you once were. I'm here to help you with the question of "how to break through." I would like to suggest that you recall what methods you used to help yourself get out of the helpless and powerless state you felt after being taught.

After all, you've finally found yourself and your true inner drive! I'm sure you've used very effective methods to get here. Can you continue to use these methods to help yourself?

I'm just wondering, how long has it been since your father taught you this time? And how long did you usually feel helpless and powerless when you were taught and controlled?

I ask this question because I really want to say that allowing yourself to be beaten back to your previous bad situation may also be a way to break the shackles. Just as allowing yourself to see the truth is a way to break the shackles?

A parent who is too controlling can make it hard for a child to explore and grow on their own. When a parent is too controlling, it can make a child feel weak. I think this is why you can feel "knocked down" by a phone call.

You're already an adult, and you have the strength to no longer fear your parents. You know that as long as you don't allow it, no one can bring you down again. You can already understand at the mental level (the thinking or cognitive level) that this is ultimately just a "yoke from the self," right?

I think I understand what you're asking. It's so hard to put principles into practice, isn't it? I'd love to tell you that I have the answer to your question, "How can this be broken?" but I'm not sure I do. What I do know is that when parents don't give their children the chance to explore and grow, it doesn't just confuse their thinking and understanding. It also affects how they see themselves and others, and even their physical selves.

Let's take a look at some examples. Saying things like "You don't need to... You should feel this way... Your parents only want what's best for you..." can cause a lot of people to lose touch with their true selves. It can be really hard to judge the boundaries between yourself and your parents, and it's not always easy to know what you really want or what is really best for you.

This state of "ignorance of oneself" isn't just about confusion in our thinking and cognition. It's also about confusion in our physiological mechanisms and emotional and emotional responses. It's like the "muscle memory" of the brain and body. Every cell of yours has grown up in a controlled way, including all their emotional and emotional response mechanisms to external stimuli. This is different from the way you grew up when you were allowed to explore and grow yourself!

So, it's not like you can be changed overnight just by understanding it. You know, people aren't cognitive machines, and there's no cognitive switch that you can control by yourself. You can't just say, "Okay, I now know that I have switched the switch to the wrong position, so I will now turn it back to the correct position—I will adjust to a good learning state, and then I will be able to adjust it well, because all your muscle memory is the product of controlled conditions."

I think this is the real secret behind how you can be brought back to your "original self" by just one phone call from your father.

So, breaking it down means rebirth. Absolutely! Rebirth is a beautiful thing. You need to stand up to those who want to control you, even though it's tough. You might feel like you're back at square one, but you're not! You just need to keep getting back up again and again according to your new understanding, and continue on the path of exploring self-growth and self-improvement. This process is the process of you growing new cells that decide for and control yourself, until you are strong enough that you will never be knocked down by your parents' teachings again. You might still feel angry and sad when you are taught, but you will never be knocked down again.

After you understand this, would you be willing to lie down and rest for a little while? Right now, there are still many cells in your body working according to old reaction patterns. They're not very effective, so if you don't allow yourself to rest, you're also refusing to face the truth that your body is not strong enough.

It's totally normal to want to rush to stand up and run when you feel knocked down. But, if you don't allow yourself to rest, you might end up wasting a lot of energy, feeling depleted, and taking longer to recover.

You deserve to give yourself permission to see the truth about yourself and to be kind and understanding towards yourself. If you don't have the energy right now, then rest well.

We truly believe that as long as you don't forget your goal and wait until you've rested well, you'll be able to stand up again and continue moving forward once you've built up your strength.

Just keep on allowing, then standing up, then allowing, then standing up again... Keep on practicing like this, and all the new cells will grow with new "muscle memory," becoming more and more resistant to the high control of their parents, and more and more capable of self-control. You've got this!

I hope you can allow yourself to be exactly who you want to be.

The above. The world and I love you!

P.S. I just wanted to say that not everything parents say "for your own good" is necessarily false. When you feel like you want to "resist control," it can be hard to understand which of what they say is truly beneficial to your development and which is just about their own needs. It's easy to get caught up in your own anger, rather than truly controlling yourself.