Previously, I always believed that hard work would lead to success, until the failure in the college entrance examination, how did I change?

Dear Sir/Madam, I am honored to answer your question and hope that my response will be of some assistance to you.

[Life requires both an appropriate attitude and the requisite skills.

Cai Zhi Zhong posited that life is akin to ascending a ladder, with each rung presenting its own challenges. Without surmounting these obstacles, regardless of one's efforts, one remains stationary and makes no progress.

It is important to note that there is nothing inherently problematic with the attitude of the question asker. The question asker has demonstrated success in at least two crucial aspects, accounting for a minimum of 50% of the required outcome. This is in addition to the 40% of success that can be attributed to the presence of effort, even if it is not fully aligned with the desired outcome.

Subsequently, one must concentrate on overcoming the remaining challenge, which is the ability to persevere through difficulties.

One must consider the skills required for examination success, such as concentration, mindset, and problem-solving abilities. How might these skills be developed? One potential approach is to seek advice from top students or to reflect on one's own successful experiences.

Similarly, which skills does the OP require to navigate his current circumstances, and how might he develop these skills?

If an individual wishes to perform their duties in an exemplary manner, it is essential that they first refine their abilities. Confucius posited that an individual of exceptional virtue requires the guidance of exemplary mentors and the support of benevolent companions to disseminate virtue and benevolence.

Therefore, in addition to personal effort, it is also necessary to consider the rules and secrets of each task in order to achieve a favorable outcome.

[Regarding the college entrance examination and life in general]

In the context of academic qualifications, the college entrance exam represents a primary pathway for the majority of individuals, akin to a one-way bridge.

In regard to one's overall life trajectory, it can be said that each individual finds themselves at a crossroads, with a multitude of potential avenues before them.

Once an individual has a clear understanding of their ideal life, they may be better equipped to make informed decisions about their future path.

In the event of failing the college entrance examination and being unable to gain admission to one's preferred institution of higher education, it is nevertheless possible to lead a fulfilling life through an alternative, less-than-ideal school.

Indeed, there are relatively few individuals who have achieved their desired lifestyle in the absence of a degree.

In the event that this path proves ineffective, it is possible to either alter it or persevere with it.

By not imposing constraints on one's potential, life can be imbued with boundless possibilities.

The key is to identify one's aspirations in life, which can be broadly classified into three categories: who, where, and what.

One's past failure to pass the college entrance examination should not be a barrier to future success.

"The sooner one experiences adversity, the sooner one can develop resilience."

An artist once posited that individuals should endure loss while they are still able to do so.

In essence, during our formative years, it is imperative that we gain as much experience and knowledge as possible, in order to better cope with the subsequent achievements that life will inevitably bestow upon us. It is crucial to avoid the pitfalls of arrogance and conceit that can often accompany success.

Furthermore, numerous instances have been observed wherein individuals who achieved notable success during their teenage years subsequently experienced a loss of direction in their middle or later years.

From this perspective, the early years are a crucial period in an individual's life.

The optimal approach is to align one's knowledge and actions with the beliefs one holds in high regard. Ultimately, we will all achieve a level of satisfaction and lead lives that bring us joy.

This is the extent of my contribution to the discussion. I wish you well. I extend my affection to the world and to you.

Hello, friend!

1. It's totally understandable that you're feeling pessimistic and like you can't succeed after failing the college entrance exam. It's natural to feel like you're making mistakes and falling short of your goals. It's okay to feel disappointed, but it's important to remember that you're not alone in this.

2. I know you've been thinking about it and you want to change, but it seems like it's still at the idea level without any specific actions or goals. I'm here to help you get unstuck!

How can we help you deal with it? Let's talk about it together!

It's okay to accept failure. We don't live in an era where we can take one single bridge to cross the river.

Hey there! I know it can be tough to face up to our failures, but try to think of this as just another part of life. It's okay to accept it and face it bravely. You've got this!

It's time to get out of self-doubt and self-denial and face new challenges head-on!

It's so important to learn from your experiences and lessons. And it doesn't mean ignoring your failures completely. It means using them to reflect, clarify your thoughts, and implement them in action.

It's okay to identify your shortcomings and actively seek ways to remedy them. We all make mistakes, and that's totally normal. The important thing is to learn from them and avoid repeating the same ones in subsequent learning. You've got this!

It's okay to feel stressed and sad after failing the college entrance exam. We've all been there! Try some simple ways to relax and feel better. Mindfulness meditation, listening to music, going for a walk, watching a movie, or anything else that helps you feel calm and happy again.

You've got this! Set detailed goals and plans. If you want to change, you need to take action.

You can do it! Set goals and plans that suit you, see your own strengths, choose a clear direction, and start again.

Failing the college entrance exam is totally okay! It might even be a new starting point. Try to adjust your emotions, goals, and seek a better direction of effort, and you'll see a different self and also reap a different life.

Come on, you can do it!

Hello there.

The college entrance exam is bound to have hit you pretty hard, which is why you've been struggling to get back on your feet. Even people who were originally very positive will always have a period of depression after experiencing failure.

In the past, it was said that you should get up where you fell down. Nowadays, it's more realistic to say that you should just take a moment to regroup. It's okay to take a moment to adjust your state and then move on to a different place to get up.

Asking someone who's just fallen over to get up is an unfair demand. It'll only make them hurt more.

Many people have struggled with the college entrance exam, and the time it takes to recover varies from person to person. Some people quickly move on from the last exam, let it become the past, and quickly return to their previous positive and optimistic state.

Some people may take a longer time to recover from failure, but they will eventually find their way back. You have a naturally optimistic outlook, so even if you take a slower path, you will eventually bounce back.

If your brother had failed the college entrance exam, what would you have told him to make him feel better and what would you have told him to do? You can also comfort and inspire yourself in the same way.

After taking the college entrance exam, you've grown up a lot. In this world, there are some things you can't get just by working hard, no matter how hard you try.

You've grown a lot in terms of understanding and thought processes. You're absolutely right that hard work alone doesn't guarantee success. The more you work, the more opportunities you'll create.

The pain of the past is already cast, and time will not turn back. Failure is not necessarily the path to success. Failure may just let us experience what it feels like to fail.

If we learn from our mistakes, we can avoid making the same ones again. There are still opportunities out there, and I hope I can make the most of them.

You're ready to get back into the swing of things, but you've lost interest in everything and are feeling stuck. It's natural to feel this way.

I hope this gives you a little boost.

Having ideals and goals is a sign of excellence. But dwelling on the past and wasting a lot of time is how you define yourself in the present.

In the real world, we can refine our ideals and goals a bit, dividing them into stages according to time, and setting specific small goals for each stage. We can achieve our big goals by breaking them down into many small ones and working on them little by little.

If you want to achieve your goal in one go and don't like the slow pace, it might be difficult to reach your goal. In many cases, slow is fast.

It's important to build self-confidence. The first college entrance exam can really knock your confidence.

Building self-confidence is also a slow process that requires us to work on it little by little. After setting a small goal, if you complete it, be sure to give yourself a little encouragement.

A teacher would put a big checkmark in a notebook to give themselves some confidence. If you haven't completed it, you should rethink your plan and take things one step at a time.

High school is more challenging, more competitive, and more stressful than junior high. Don't set overly ambitious goals for yourself. Maybe a small goal every day is a better way to rebuild your confidence and get back to your best.

These days, the college entrance exam isn't a one-time thing. Some students who've been studying since junior college have done really well.

Don't go through this alone. You might find it easier to understand if you talk to someone who's been through the college entrance exam recently.

You can also talk to a counselor if you want to explore yourself further and find your own direction and strength.

I love you, and I think you should love yourself too.

Hello, my dear child. I'm here to give you a big hug and I hope you feel the warmth and support I'm sending your way. I also hope my answer can help you in some way.

It's so sad to see how the college entrance exam has affected you. You've lost your belief in the power of hard work and your confidence in your ability to succeed. You've lost interest in everything, and you feel like you can't work hard at anything. This has led to constant failure and the loss of many opportunities. You feel like your ideals have never been realized, and that the gap between reality and your ideals is very wide. You also know that you haven't put in the effort required, which has led to everything. You know that you've made a mistake, and it's actually irreversible, but you just can't help but keep reflecting on the past. On the contrary, you've wasted a lot of time in internal conflict and self-doubt, and you still can't be proactive when getting things done. You don't understand why this has happened. How did it turn out like this just because of one college entrance exam? Did you take the college entrance exam too seriously? You also don't understand why others remain optimistic despite their failures, while you just can't get back on your feet. You want to change all of this, but you don't know how. I'm here to help.

I just want to give you a little advice, if I may.

Take a moment to think about what thoughts the college entrance exam failure has brought up for you. These thoughts (unreasonable beliefs) are the cause of your poor state, so it's important to recognize them and work through them.

It's not the event itself that affects our emotional and behavioral states, but our thoughts and attitudes towards it. I can see how you might feel like you don't believe in the power of hard work or that you can succeed after failing the college entrance exam. It's totally understandable to feel this way, but it's also important to recognize that these thoughts are not true. It's natural to feel this way after an event like this, but it's also important to challenge these thoughts and recognize that they're not based on reality. It's also important to recognize that when we believe that hard work is useless or that we can't succeed, it can lead to us becoming more passive in our behavior. This is something you're already experiencing. When we believe that hard work is useless, it can make us feel like we don't need to put in the effort.

I feel like no matter what I do, I'll never succeed. So why even try?

Absolutely! Go check out these limiting thoughts of yours. They're subtly affecting your state, so it's important to recognize them. At the same time, remember that these thoughts are just thoughts, not facts. We're the masters of our thoughts, and we can choose our own thoughts. Since we can choose, it's a great idea to choose positive thoughts! Let go of these unreasonable beliefs, throw them away, and then replace them with some reasonable beliefs. For example: "Although I failed the college entrance exam, it doesn't mean my efforts were useless. Just because it didn't work the first time doesn't mean it won't work every time. I believe I will succeed again, and I believe my efforts will definitely lead to growth and gains..."

2. Don't worry! Nothing will be all you have, and the college entrance exam will never determine your entire life. You have so much potential for development!

Maybe you feel like the college entrance exam can decide your whole life, because of what you've seen at home, at school, and in your community. It's totally normal to feel this way! Lots of people have felt this way, too. But it's not true. The college entrance exam doesn't decide your whole life. Many people didn't take the exam, and many people didn't pass, but they still made great things happen and found their own value. Life is a long journey, and it's not just one test that decides it. The exam is over, and you can't change it. All that worrying won't help. But you can change yourself! You can keep growing and developing, because everyone has endless potential, and you are no exception!

I'm sure you'll agree with me when I say that although I have a very high level of education, I am now doing a job that is completely different from my original undergraduate and postgraduate studies. I don't feel that my previous experience is useless, nor do I feel like a failure, because life is full of possibilities. What we can grasp is our current selves, and we can do something for our own development and growth, to enrich our life experiences, and to be able to achieve more value in life!

3. Come back to the real world, adjust your expectations, see the gap between who you are and who you want to be, set goals that you can reach, and use the small steps principle to achieve your dreams one step at a time. This process will give you a lot of sense of accomplishment and experience, and fill you with confidence.

I totally get it. I felt like a failure for a while because there was a huge gap between my real self and my ideal self, and I felt particularly frustrated. But you know what? There is a way to achieve your ideal self. The way is to give yourself a reasonable position, then set reasonable goals, and take one step at a time. Eventually, you will be on your way to becoming your ideal self in an experience full of a sense of accomplishment.

It's so interesting to see how our ideal selves can be so different from our real selves! Based on where you are right now, you can set goals that are just right for you. Research shows that only moderately difficult goals can really get us going. By moderately difficult goals, I mean goals that are "within reach on tiptoe," like fruits that can be picked with "a jump," not huge goals that are like a mountain and simply impossible to achieve right now.

Let's say your goal is to walk 10,000 steps a day. But you're only walking 3,000 steps a day right now. It's totally normal to feel frustrated when you're trying to reach a goal that seems impossible. But here's the thing: if you set a reasonable goal, like 3,500 to 4,000 steps a day, you can absolutely accomplish it! And you'll feel so motivated to keep going. Plus, you'll feel a sense of accomplishment after you've reached your goal, which will inspire you to keep going. Once you've reached 4,000 steps, you can set new, small goals for yourself and gradually improve. You'll feel confident, happy, and proud of yourself as you reach each goal. And before you know it, you'll be walking 10,000 steps a day! This process will make you feel so good about yourself.

I hope this is helpful for you! Wishing you all the best!

It's important to understand what's going on and to take a good look at the situation.

I get it. You've lost confidence in yourself and your future after experiencing a failure. This is a common emotional reaction, but it can be overcome. Here are some suggestions to help you regain your motivation and confidence:

First, accept that you failed the college entrance exam and forgive yourself. We all face failure and setbacks, and this is part of the growth process.

Don't be too hard on yourself, but learn from your mistakes.

It's important to adjust your mindset and understand that success and failure don't depend solely on the amount of effort you put in. While effort is an important part of the equation, there are many other factors that influence the outcome.

It's important to learn to accept the facts, change your definition of success, and focus on personal growth and effort rather than just results.

Set a new goal. This could be in school, at work, or in another area of your life. Make sure it's specific and measurable, and break it down into small steps to achieve it.

You'll find that making gradual progress will boost your motivation and confidence.

Seek support. Talk to family, friends, or a mentor and share your feelings and confusion. They can provide support, encouragement, and advice, and make you feel less alone.

Take up a new hobby. Find something you really enjoy and make time for it. This can help you get excited about life again and build your confidence bit by bit.

It's important to develop a positive mindset. This means learning to change negative thinking patterns and focusing on the positive. Try to stay optimistic, grateful, and self-affirming, and face difficulties and challenges with a positive mindset.

Remember, life is a long journey. Don't let one failure make you feel like you're not worth anything or that you can't succeed. It takes time and effort to regain confidence, but if you stay positive and keep working hard, you will be able to change the situation and find your motivation and confidence again.