Problems arose when we were apart, and our relationship gradually became unbalanced. I felt deeply aggrieved, not feeling recognized.

I am currently engaged in quiet study.

From your description, it is evident that you have experienced significant challenges in various aspects of your life, including work, personal circumstances, academic pursuits, and romantic relationships. You have demonstrated resilience and determination in seeking ways to enhance your circumstances. When you discussed your situation, you had already initiated positive changes. I hope my response can provide further guidance.

1. We accept our past.

We all want a beautiful future, and the first thing we need to do is accept the past self. Despite encountering difficulties, it seems that nothing is going well, and we are disheartened. However, we have not done nothing, and we have not gained nothing. We have also been working hard in the past and have gained something. We are now improving on the basis of yesterday, so thank the past self for always trying hard, even if it is difficult. We are running as hard as we can. Imagine the past self during difficult times, give yourself a little comfort, and take pride in your resilience.

Secondly, it is possible to alter one's circumstances by making changes to oneself.

It is important to understand that if our mindset shifts, we can achieve positive outcomes. What constitutes a positive mindset? I will outline a few beneficial emotions, which you can gradually adopt. Over time, your daily experiences will evoke positive emotions: 1. I feel loved. I am aware that someone is willing to approach me, that someone has positive feelings towards me, and that someone is willing to assist me. 2. I know that when I am in trouble, I can request help from anyone, and that they will even help me on their own initiative. I am not alone. When I need help, someone will appear. 3. I am calm. Every day, I study, work, and live in a quiet and peaceful state of mind. I feel that I am constantly improving, and I know that I am growing all the time. 4. I feel that my future will be very good. Through my hard work, I can obtain the things I want. 5. I know what I want, and I am taking action to get it. 6. I will meet someone who is really right for me. I am lovable, and I am waiting for my destiny to come.

1. Failure to address challenges

(At that time, I was unsuccessful in my attempts to gain admission to postgraduate studies on two occasions, and experienced considerable distress as a result. Over time, however, I was able to adjust to my current circumstances.)

2. Engaging in romantic relationships is an unproductive use of time.

I felt that the other party was ungrateful.

3. A lack of emotional stability can be attributed to an excess of free time.

(The other party has consistently demonstrated a tendency to disengage when I attempt to establish proximity, such as when I visit their city, etc. As a result, I am compelled to make independent decisions.)

4. One year has elapsed, and there has been no change in the status quo.

I have attempted to identify a solution, but: 1. The proposed direction was not endorsed by the other party, and I perceived no viable starting point. 2. My failure to secure employment and pass the postgraduate entrance exam led to an inferiority complex, creating a sense of inability to achieve. 3. I had ambitious expectations for his future and viewed many roles with disdain.

5. Do not provide him with an opportunity to take advantage of you.

The aforementioned questions are yours. Let us replace self-negation and negativity with a positive and sunny view of yourself. Over time, we will adjust ourselves to the optimal frequency.

3. Reading is an effective method for personal growth.

Reading is an excellent way to pass the time when you are alone. It will not only make you more mature, but also give you some kind of gain. Alternatively, you can buy some practical reference books to constantly improve yourself. As the saying goes, "If you haven't seen someone for three days, you'll be surprised by the changes in them." Therefore, as long as you maintain the habit of reading, you will definitely become better and better. At the same time, you will form your own values, moral values, and world outlook. Furthermore, through reading, you will meet many people who like to read, and then go the same way together. Being with good people will make things go more smoothly and you will be happier.

Good day. I am currently studying in silence and wish you well in your future endeavors. I hope you will soon return to the right track. The world and I love you.

Hello, I am Xin Tan, your coach Fei Yun! I'm here for you, listening with all my heart and ready to accompany you on this journey.

Your "pleasing" behavior is partly to blame for those hurt feelings in your intimate relationship.

?1. In an intimate relationship, it is also necessary to treat each other equally, which is a great way to keep things balanced and exciting!

You have a great sense of self-awareness! You've realized that you're trying to please the other person and excessively consider his feelings, which has caused an imbalance in your relationship.

In the long run, this pattern of getting along with each other will make you lose your "independence and autonomy," and you will look forward to the other person's recognition. Once you encounter rejection and opposition, you will feel deeply frustrated and feel powerless and helpless—but that's all part of the journey!

On the other hand, the pressure from school and work has also been brought into your relationship. When expectations are not met, you will demand more in the intimate relationship, and when that is not met again, you will be even more disappointed. But don't worry! This is an opportunity for you to learn and grow.

Your pattern of pleasing in an intimate relationship has not brought you closer together, but there is a way to change this! You can gain his understanding and approval by thinking independently and not relying on him just because you're boyfriend and girlfriend.

Here's some great advice for you!

Think independently and don't rely on or depend on him just because you're boyfriend and girlfriend. You've got this!

Remember how your partner was so drawn to you at first? It was because you were you! That's what makes you special and adds to your charm.

In love, you get to be yourself! And giving in and pleasing others is also based on an equal relationship, where both parties grow together and draw closer to each other. It's a two-way street!

2. You are absolutely thrilled to receive the other person's affirmation and recognition!

The frustration of failing the entrance exam and finding a job has made you feel inferior. But it also makes you think of your attempts to please in intimate relationships, where the other person does not approve of or accept you or your choices. And you know what? That's OK!

This only reinforces your lack of confidence, so let's change that!

There are two types of confidence! One is external, material, and from others.

For example, a car, a house, a savings account, various designer brands, as well as the affirmation, praise, and approval of others!

However, when these supports are removed, this person will once again fall into a state of disappointment and despair.

And there's another kind of confidence that's just as important: having confidence in yourself as a person and having confidence in the future!

The great news is that confidence comes from within! And it will never be doubted or denied by what others say, especially negative comments.

He doesn't need to "prove himself in everything" because he's already got what it takes!

Boost your self-confidence today by constantly giving yourself positive feedback, praising and accepting yourself!

3. Repairing the relationship

Love is a wonderful thing! It's a matter of two people with similar interests and views. But if you want to take it further and enter into marriage, it becomes a matter for both families, which is a great thing because it means you get to involve your loved ones in your special day!

I'm so excited to suggest that you communicate more with your partner! Bring your own opinions and feelings to the table, and listen to the opinions and feelings of the other person.

The most important thing is to convey emotions in order to reach a consensus and work together to find a solution to the problem.

Many problems develop into conflicts and even deteriorate because of a lack of communication or unwillingness to communicate. But there's a solution!

It's so important to communicate with each other! But often, people use the banner of "communication" to "control" the other person. Control is to bring one's own purpose, hoping that the other person will do what one wants, just like the other person is a puppet.

The great news is that we can't change the other person, but we can change ourselves! And when we change, the other person will naturally have to make changes to adapt to our changes.

I also highly recommend the book "If Only I Knew Before Marriage." It is an absolute must for anyone looking to improve communication between partners, get to know each other and each other's parents, and understand the influence of the original family on him.

Open your heart, remove your armor, and embrace intimacy! It's time to let go of fear and connect with your partner on a deeper level.

I really hope the above is helpful to you, and I love you and the world too! ?

If you want to chat some more, you can choose to have a conversation with "Heart Exploration"!

Hello!

I can tell that you're a girl who might be lacking a little bit of security. It's totally normal for girls to feel this way after entering a romantic relationship. It's not necessarily that the other person has done something wrong. It's just that women are naturally delicate and sensitive, so it can be really challenging to achieve 100% trust and full attention in a relationship, especially in the early stages.

My ex-boyfriend and I went to university together. We had a lot of fun together, but we also had our fair share of problems. When we were together, I was a bit immature. I was always waiting for the other person to protect me. I guess I was looking for a bit of reassurance. When I was with him, I felt like I could escape a lot of the pressure of life. I tried my best to please him and guess his thoughts and needs.

It's such a waste of your precious time! The other person is also torn, wanting to reform me and at the same time let me be myself.

Over time, our relationship has shifted. It's become a bit lopsided, with one person looking down on the other.

When you're just starting out in a relationship, it's easy to get caught up in the excitement and forget about other things going on in your life. It's natural to want to focus on your partner and build a life together. But as the relationship progresses, it's important to remember that you're still an individual with your own needs and desires. If you want to keep your relationship strong and healthy, it's essential to learn how to manage it and communicate effectively.

However, in most relationships, this type of attachment cannot maintain a healthy cycle smoothly. Instead, one party will find the other's shortcomings, and the emotion of seeing only the other's advantages will change to one of loathing the other's shortcomings, thus leading to the breakdown of the relationship.

So, how can we change an unhealthy attachment pattern?

1. Be open and honest with each other, and don't let suspicion get in the way.

It's so true that the human heart is the most unpredictable thing! Once doubt has overcome you, you'll find it really hard to recognize the truth. When you encounter problems between each other, you're used to solving them through passive resistance. This kind of result will only make both sides more and more tired, but it won't solve the real core problem.

If you feel like you failed the postgraduate entrance exam and it's making you feel insecure in your relationship, you can have a really open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about how you're feeling. You can tell him that you're feeling anxious and uneasy, and that you'd really appreciate it if he could understand your feelings and give you some positive feedback.

2. The right attachment model is the key to making a relationship last!

It's natural to feel this way after the initial excitement has worn off. It can be hard to maintain focus and keep your distance when you're in love. This is because an excessive attachment pattern is actually a loss of self. When you rely on your partner for all your emotions, it can feel like their space has been compressed. It can feel difficult to breathe at times. This can lead to thoughts escaping from your mind.

A healthy relationship is one where you can love and care for each other when you're together and be "each at peace" when you're apart. It's only when you're independent in your personality that you and your partner can truly enjoy spiritual freedom in your relationship.

3. It's so important to be aware of your emotions and find the source of negative emotions.

Have you ever wondered why we sometimes feel emotionally unstable at the slightest provocation? Does this feeling seem familiar? When we are fully absorbed in a relationship, it can be easy to fall back into an emotional pattern from childhood. This might sound like: "If you love me, you must tolerate me, respond to me, and satisfy my needs..." Because there is no deeper relationship than an intimate relationship, this depth can trigger negative emotions in our subconscious. These might be feelings you've had since you were a child. It's okay to observe and feel these emotions. You can discover the source of the emotion and separate yourself from the past and the present. This way, you can help yourself better manage the current relationship.

I'm rooting for you! Best of luck!

Hello!

I'm a mindfulness coach, and I believe learning is the greatest gift we can give our bodies.

From what you've said, I can tell you're feeling frustrated, reluctant, unable to let go, and upset.

I'm not going to get into the nitty-gritty of your issues with your ex, but I do have three pieces of advice for you:

First, I suggest you try to accept your current situation.

It'll make your heart feel a bit lighter, which'll help you think about what to do next.

You're talking about yourself and your ex-boyfriend, which means you've broken up. The fact that you're explaining this may show you're still attached to him or the relationship. You're reflecting on yourself, which brings up negative emotions. This is normal. Many people break up and talk about their exes, complaining, feeling resentful, or analyzing themselves. Accept your current state. See the painful self from your last relationship. It doesn't know what to do, so it's time to move on. Otherwise, your mind will be filled with negative emotions.

It's also important to understand and accept yourself if you want to make changes in your current situation. I know it might sound a bit strange, but it's true. If you want to make changes, you have to be open to the idea of not changing.

Secondly, I suggest you take a step back and look at things rationally.

Rational thinking can help you understand yourself and reality better.

To accept this rationally, you need to do two things:

First, it's important to understand that you and your ex have broken up. Even if you want to get back together, you need to do so on the basis of admitting the truth.

Second, if you're looking for approval from others, you need to start with self-approval. And to approve of yourself, you have to take action.

In your description, you said that you feel unappreciated and aggrieved, and you also said that you feel inferior because you failed to find a job and take the postgraduate entrance exam. At this time, you need to first recognize and accept yourself before you can gain the recognition of others. How others perceive you is related to how you perceive yourself.

Accepting yourself is about more than just saying it. You also need to take action and make yourself a better person.

Third, remember that you can change the status quo.

When you take the initiative and put in the effort, you'll naturally start to feel better.

I need to focus on my strengths. I shouldn't feel worthless just because I haven't found a job or failed my postgraduate entrance exam. I also need to learn to look at myself with a developing perspective and see the power of time.

Of course, you shouldn't deny yourself just because you broke up, or doubt yourself because you failed to save the relationship. That just means you weren't right for each other. You are unique and good enough, and you are worth loving.

If you look at yourself in this way, you can work through the negative emotions.

I'd like to suggest that you focus on yourself and think about what you can do to feel better.

When you take a step back and look at the big picture, you'll probably have a better idea of what to do. At this point, it's time to focus on yourself and give it your all.

For instance, you might want to consider getting back together. If you do, you can make changes based on why the relationship ended. This requires you to identify areas where you could have done better (don't be too hard on yourself, but do face your problems, analyze them, and solve them). Then, talk to the other person sincerely and see what happens. Even if the attempt to reconcile fails, you'll have improved your ability to love in the process, which will be beneficial for your future relationships.

You can also use the problems you've identified, such as not facing problems and emotional instability, to make targeted changes. You can read some relevant books, learn from other people, etc. As you gradually improve, your mood will also improve. At the same time, you'll also have confidence in yourself and accept yourself.

You can also do it according to your current situation: get a job first and then choose a career. Having something to do will also help you feel better mentally. Of course, if you still want to continue studying for the exam, that's fine too. Then you need to think about your experiences, review them, make a good plan, and so on. In short, you need to make good use of your time and get yourself moving. When you start to take action, all kinds of negative emotions inside you will naturally be slowly resolved, because sometimes the enemy of all kinds of negative emotions is action.

I hope my answer helps. If you want to talk more, just click on "Find a coach to interpret – online conversation" at the bottom, and I'll chat with you one-on-one.

It is beneficial to embrace the original poster. It is time to prioritize self-love and self-care, while letting go of past experiences.

As you are aware, the relationship has changed. The other person now despises you.

Therefore, regardless of your actions, there will be no room for maneuverability. It is preferable to cease taking action and allow events to unfold naturally.

It is most common for women to feel constrained by romantic relationships during their younger years and by financial concerns during their middle age.

If you do not take action to improve your situation and become self-sufficient, you will continue to face challenges throughout your life. It is therefore important to take control and make a change.

1. Disengage from the other party and prioritize your own well-being.

If you persist in maintaining an attachment, the other person will increasingly view you with disdain, and you will become increasingly inferior in the relationship.

When faced with negative emotions, it is advisable to disengage from the situation.

The inability to let go stems from the tendency to project positive attributes onto the other person while internalizing negative ones.

In your estimation, the individual in question has the potential for significant future growth and success. However, this positive outlook may be accompanied by a tendency to undervalue one's own capabilities.

Is that a fact? Is it accurate?

Failure to pass the entrance exam and subsequent difficulties in securing employment do not necessarily indicate personal deficiency. Rather, they may signify the need to identify a more suitable candidate.

Furthermore, an inordinate amount of time is spent attempting to ascertain his feelings and needs.

The reality is that this is an unproductive and counterproductive approach.

2. Prioritize your own well-being and self-care.

Is a master's degree a guaranteed pathway to a stable career?

In the current business environment, such occurrences are highly unlikely.

In today's fast-paced environment, it is essential to keep moving forward to maintain stability. The unpredictability of "black swan" events makes this a necessity.

It is therefore necessary to work harder at self-love and self-pleasure.

It is important to understand your own thoughts and needs. In order to do so, you must first identify your interests and determine what you would like to get involved in.

Is there a particular interest or pursuit that you are passionate about and would be willing to dedicate significant time and effort to, even if it does not offer financial compensation?

It is essential to identify your areas of interest.

Identify individuals with similar interests through your own interests, engage in their company, and utilize their energy and motivation to drive your own actions.

It is also unclear whether you are currently employed. If you possess a skill that you can monetize independently, you may wish to consider becoming a freelancer. There is a distinct satisfaction in working for yourself.

Naturally, if you encounter difficulties in your personal life, it would be prudent to seek employment and apply yourself diligently to your duties. You may then use your leisure time to pursue your interests.

It is important to remember that life is short and that self-care is essential for a positive future.

3. When you miss him, allow yourself a reasonable period of time to adjust.

It is challenging to immediately forget someone, particularly when the relationship was as profound as yours.

Fortunately, your current locations prevent you from seeing each other frequently. If you are unable to move on, you can still reflect on your shared experiences, including both positive and negative moments.

It is important to recognise that in order to meet the right, one must first let go of the wrong.

It is not necessary to suppress your feelings. Attempting to do so will result in a depletion of your energy.

By way of illustration,

Kindly refrain from contemplating a large white bear at this time.

Kindly refrain from contemplating a large white bear at this time.

Kindly refrain from contemplating a large white bear at this time.

Please consider what you will think.

The brain is unable to differentiate between "no" and "yes." Therefore, when experiencing feelings of longing for one's romantic partner, it is advisable to allow oneself to indulge in these thoughts before continuing to love and care for oneself.

Allow time for the situation to unfold. When you have your own interests, your own circle of friends, and things you are willing to devote yourself to, you will be in a position to navigate the situation effectively.

Ultimately, the female party should refrain from becoming overly invested in this experience and should not allow it to cause dissatisfaction. It is important to recognize that when two individuals are in a relationship, they still hold a mutual affection for each other. To ascertain the appropriate course of action, it is essential to gain experience through navigating a few challenging situations.

Individuals who have not experienced the pain of a broken heart are not qualified to provide insights on life. Those who emerge from this experience unscathed will find themselves stronger on the inside.

Identifying your core interests and pursuing activities that align with your values is an effective way to foster self-love and personal growth.

You have the capacity to achieve this, and you should believe that you are also shining.

Should you find yourself drawn to the beauty of a butterfly in the future, we advise against pursuing it. Instead, we suggest you take a moment to reflect and create a beautiful garden. You will find that the butterflies will naturally find their way to you. We encourage you to give this approach a try.

Good morning, Thank you for your question.

After carefully reviewing your description, I understand your concerns and sense of helplessness. You have invested significant effort in your postgraduate studies and personal relationships, yet have not achieved the desired outcomes. It is unfortunate that past setbacks and immaturity may lead to a perception of limited capability and inability to achieve goals. However, I believe you have gained valuable insights and developed resilience through these experiences. From your description, I can see your clear analysis of the relationship dynamics and the reasons for its breakdown. You have listed and explained each factor, which demonstrates your ability to think logically and identify key issues.

The dissolution of the relationship was precipitated by a confluence of factors, including a shift in your personal circumstances, an enhanced sense of self-reliance, and a lack of alignment with your former partner's expectations. Additionally, the challenges you were facing in your professional and personal lives contributed to a sense of self-doubt, which was further exacerbated by the accusations made by your former partner.

Upon reflection, it becomes evident that despite the challenges, one has made significant contributions. For instance, one may be able to discern the other's thoughts and needs and strive to fulfill them, which demonstrates a profound level of care and commitment. We have extended love and desire to be loved in return, yet the actions of the other party may create a perception of insufficient love, leading to further complexities.

When an individual is experiencing difficulties in an academic or professional setting, they often seek support and guidance from others. However, when faced with disapproval, it can further exacerbate their sense of defeat and hinder their ability to muster the courage to persevere. In such instances, many individuals also turn to enhancing their personal lives, with the hope of improving their overall well-being and establishing a support system. However, it's important to recognise that one person cannot carry the burden of another's challenges alone. While a supportive partner may offer temporary assistance, the long-term implications of such a burden can be overwhelming.

Now that the relationship has ended, whether you intend to reconcile or are resolved to move on, it is essential to adjust your mindset, gain self-awareness, identify your personal needs, and learn to meet them. Then, adopt a new outlook and approach, set goals, believe in yourself, be decisive in your choices, and focus on your own priorities rather than worrying about what others think. What may suit others may not necessarily suit you.

1. Accept the past, identify your strengths, and adjust your self-perception.

The past, regardless of whether it is viewed as right or wrong, or as a failure or success, is a set of facts that cannot be changed. What can be done is to accept the facts as they are and continue to live with the experiences or lessons learned from them. If one keeps looking back and regretting the things one did not do well at the time, one will be repeating the past.

It would be beneficial to dedicate more time to reflecting on past successes, identifying your strengths, and recognizing areas for improvement. After a thorough self-assessment, you may realize that your abilities are not as limited as you initially perceived. You will understand that you possess both strengths and weaknesses, and that you have made some commendable decisions and some less optimal ones. These insights will help you appreciate your unique qualities and perspectives.

2. Identify your requirements, communicate them effectively, and prioritize your own well-being.

In the transition to adulthood, individuals may experience challenges related to intimacy and loneliness. The desire for love and support is a natural aspect of human psychology. It is not uncommon for someone in this stage of life to seek a deeper connection with a former romantic partner.

It is important to note that everyone's attachment patterns are different. Based on your description, it seems that you experience significant anxiety and insecurity, which may intensify when you are in a new environment. You may exhibit separation anxiety and a strong desire to return to a familiar, intimate state, which could potentially impact your development in other areas. Once you have identified this pattern in yourself, you can take steps to recognize it again, remind yourself of your needs, express them in a reasonable manner, and strive to meet them.

It is often possible to recall the feeling of being loved and cared for.

In your relationship with your boyfriend, you can employ the method of non-violent communication. This involves stating the facts as you observe them, expressing your feelings and the needs behind them, and making requests. It also requires listening to what the other person's feelings, needs, and requests are.

3. Research the market, set objectives, and proceed with resolve.

Once you have gained a clear understanding of your own capabilities and limitations, you can set goals for yourself. These should be specific and measurable, and you should consider how your mindset and performance will change if you achieve them.

Then, with this mentality, try more things to identify your interests and hobbies, and clarify your future direction and goals. Once you have chosen a direction, believe in yourself, and pursue it with determination. You are the best judge of your own abilities, so evaluate whether this is the right path for you. Other people's opinions are just that – their opinions.

Thank you for your attention.

I extend my deepest sympathies to you.

I'm confident my answer will be helpful to you.

The host's description is excellent and provides a clear picture of your current situation and the problem you're trying to solve. My husband and I have been together since college and then experienced a five-year long-distance relationship. I understand your situation intimately because I've been there. I'm going to share my experience with you because I know it will help.

In a relationship, you must be true to yourself to feel truly alive.

You said you tried to please him in the relationship, trying to guess his thoughts and needs. You found that the direction you chose was never approved of by the other person, and you felt both aggrieved and inferior. I also went through a period like that. I didn't have myself anymore. I tried to guess his needs and thoughts and to find ways to please him. That fake self of mine was very tired and lacked vitality. I also had a lot of dissatisfaction with the other person because of my own grievances and the role of the victim.

If we try to please the other person in a relationship and sacrifice ourselves, we may not be able to truly satisfy their needs. This will make us increasingly unhappy and uncomfortable. But if you can be your true self in a relationship and live your true life, you will not be overly dependent on the other person. Your radiance will also deeply attract the other person. Everyone prefers to be with someone who can live their own life and be happy and sunny every day.

When we can be our true selves, we reach a state of mind where we know this is true: "Only when you take care of yourself will your world become bright, and you will have more energy to take care of and support the other person."

This is how you can feel comfortable and at ease in a relationship, and how both people can be their true selves in the relationship. There is no other way a relationship can truly last.

2. We must build a sense of inner security and self-confidence.

After graduating with my master's degree, I experienced a period of inferiority due to my unsuccessful job search and doctoral studies. Despite my husband's continued support, I lacked the confidence to fully embrace our relationship.

Once I had built up a sense of inner security and self-confidence through my own efforts, I was able to feel his love for me more easily. When your inner world changes, your world really will be different.

When we feel inferior, it's because we don't believe in ourselves. But when we have inner strength, we don't need others to believe in us. We believe in ourselves.

You need to rebuild your inner self-confidence to deal with the problem of low self-esteem.

I need to know what to do.

First, accept yourself, your current situation, and everything about yourself. Don't waste energy criticizing yourself or feeling regret. The past cannot be changed, but that doesn't mean it won't work in the future. Second, see the advantages and value in yourself. Give yourself positive mental suggestions, believing you can do it, find the ideal job, and have a good life. Set reasonable small goals according to your strengths and talents and achieve them.

I excel in exams and writing, so I obtained the certificates I needed, including the second-level certificate for psychological counselors and teaching certificates. I then combined writing and psychology, setting small writing goals, such as completing an article weekly and a quiz daily. As you achieve these goals repeatedly, you will recognize yourself more, your self-confidence will grow, and you will feel more secure. Set achievable goals, not ones that are unattainable. Otherwise, you will lose confidence.

3. Adjust your expectations of the other person, communicate effectively, and let the intimate relationship nourish you.

It's often because our expectations are too high that we're sad and disappointed. Having low expectations is also a mistake.

Expectations are the driving force of love. If you have nothing more to ask of someone, it is a kind of inner giving up or boredom. Such psychological expectations will make the relationship worse. Therefore, you need to have reasonable expectations.

Expectations are the driving force of love. If you have nothing more to ask of someone, it is a kind of inner giving up or boredom. Such psychological expectations will make the relationship worse. Therefore, you need reasonable expectations.

What exactly are reasonable expectations?

Know your own core needs, the other person's character traits, strengths, and weaknesses, and guide them to meet your needs. Accept what you cannot change. When you do these things, your relationship will be worry-free.

It is essential that we understand the core needs of the other person, give them more than enough, and exceed their expectations.

Many people in intimate relationships complain, "I have given so much to him, but not only is he not grateful, he wants to escape and even blame me. Why is that?"

This is because what you give may not be what he wants. Such giving is of no value to the other person and is also a burden.

We will understand each other's needs through non-violent communication.

The steps of non-violent communication are as follows: state the objective facts, express your feelings, express your needs, and request the other person's actions.

The steps of non-violent communication are as follows: state the objective facts, express your feelings, express your needs, and request the other person to take action.

When stating facts, be objective and refrain from making accusations or judgments. Express your true feelings and needs, and ask the other person to take specific actions (within his abilities, of course).

You can and should express your deep and true needs for each other through such communication. When we communicate in this way, you will understand each other's true feelings and thoughts, which will promote in-depth communication and connection, allowing you to get to know and understand each other better.

This kind of communication allows you to express your deep and true needs for each other. When we communicate in this way, you will understand each other's true feelings and thoughts, which will promote in-depth communication and connection, allowing you to understand each other better.

It is also crucial to pay attention to the emotional feedback of the other person during the process of getting along. Every emotion is a need. When the other person's emotional response is particularly strong, it is a clear sign that their core needs are being triggered.

You have to do your best, actively engage, and exceed the other person's expectations in response to their core needs. If they need appreciation and recognition, express your gratitude and recognition to them. Praise them in front of relatives and friends. Express your gratitude to them by writing thank-you letters.

It is not realistic to expect that we can completely change someone. However, if both parties adjust their expectations and focus on the other person's core needs, we can certainly warm up a cooled relationship and make our intimacy stronger.

I wish you happiness!

Hello, I'm Gu Yi. I'm as modest and self-effacing as ever.

A good relationship is a two-way street.

From what you've said, it seems like you feel a bit inferior in this relationship. This is probably down to your experiences and also your boyfriend's attitude. You've tried to make changes and adjust your mentality, but your partner hasn't responded, which makes you feel inferior and frustrated in this relationship.

Since we were in college together, we didn't have as many problems to discuss and face every day. We were also more idealistic, so we got along without too many issues. However, once we enter the workforce and start facing various pressures, the situation will be different. At this time, we need to be aware of this state of mind.

It's not just our boyfriends who need to make adjustments in their thinking, but we ourselves must also make timely adjustments in our thinking so that we can get along better with each other. The pursuit and management of every relationship is the result of the joint efforts of both parties.

Your efforts and your partner's inaction have caused an imbalance in your relationship. But it is still possible to adjust it if the relationship is not broken.

How can we improve our working relationship?

We can plan for the future and take the postgraduate entrance exam. Regardless of the result, we have the determination and the will to work hard. We shouldn't start to feel inferior and lose confidence in our abilities just because we didn't pass the exam. Everyone is doing their best to find a direction that suits them, and we are also finding a way that suits us in this way.

When it comes to whether you want to move to your boyfriend's city, he'll usually leave it up to you. At this point, it's worth asking yourself what your career plan is and what your future plan is for this relationship.

When we know what we want, it's easy to make good decisions without relying on others.

At this age, girls should focus on developing their careers so that they can have a bigger say in their relationships. It's also a great way to showcase their abilities. When it comes to problems with your boyfriend, communication is key. It's important to address issues head-on, rather than letting them fester. This helps foster a healthy and supportive relationship.

Wishing you the best.

From the question's title, it seems the questioner may be feeling a bit frustrated. In the narrative that follows, it appears there is a sense of confusion about the other person's perspective. It's possible that the questioner may be viewing the situation from a place of misunderstanding, which could contribute to the imbalance in the relationship. It's understandable that the questioner may feel like they are in a less favorable position, given that "not understanding" can often feel more negative than "confused." With this sense of imbalance in mind, let's explore further.

I wonder if I might suggest a hypothesis for your consideration. If you were to read this question again in a few days, you might find that when you wrote these words, you were unable to distinguish between yourself and others. This is not only reflected in some wording details, but also in the framework of the text.

It seems that the main structure of this question is his dissatisfaction. Each dissatisfaction is followed by a parenthetical content as an explanation of his own. From a formal point of view, it appears that the subject values the other person's dissatisfaction more than his own feelings. Such a relationship may have the potential to create an imbalance.

"My choices are not recognized by the other person, so my life remains unchanged." It seems that the questioner believes that only choices that are recognized by the other person are worth implementing. Therefore, the direction of one's life is actually decided by the other person, and since it is decided by the other person, of course the other person is responsible. This further proves that the questioner has indeed avoided a lot of pressure in this relationship. However, it might be helpful to consider that leaving it all up to the other person to decide and take responsibility could also make the other person feel that they are not important.

When the other person relinquishes decision-making authority to the questioner, the questioner may perceive a sense of distance or detachment. It seems that the other person is striving to redress the imbalance between the two, yet the attempts have not yielded the desired outcome. This can lead to feelings of hurt and disappointment. Consequently, the other person may encounter resistance on the path to change. In any relationship, there is a delicate balance of power. Attempts to influence or change another person who is not cooperating can also create a power imbalance.

When the questioner has experienced two unsuccessful outcomes and is hoping to postpone a significant decision for the time being, he may feel that this desire is not being acknowledged. It is important to note that the questioner himself does not necessarily view this as a legitimate need, but rather feels that this is a challenge that he cannot fully address on his own, as the other person also has a perspective on the matter.

Perhaps we could try to find a way to resolve this? It seems that the questioner's view is that it would be better to postpone facing the issue for the time being, while the other person's opinion is that avoiding it is not the right approach. At this point, there seems to be a difference of opinion between the two sides. The questioner is in agreement with the other person, and also feels that his inability to face it is a problem. There also appears to be an imbalance here.

I hope the questioner can understand that they have the right to choose not to confront, that their thoughts do not need to be approved by the other person, and that they do not have to satisfy the other person at all times. Perhaps if they put their own needs and feelings on an equal footing with the other person, they could change the imbalance. If they could use their own thoughts as the main framework and rewrite this question, that might be a good idea.

If there are any other enthusiastic friends, we kindly ask that you assist the original poster in starting a brand new question. We warmly welcome you to engage in discussion in the comment section.

From your discussion, it seems that you have three exciting opportunities to address the following issues!

1. Self-awareness.

You say, "I always wait for the other person to protect me, and I escape a lot of life's pressures with the other person. I try my best to please him, and I guess what he wants."

It's great that you're so happy with the other person's situation. They're a huge help to you in your life!

As a result, you may be overly concerned about the other person's thoughts and needs. In this relationship, the scales are a bit unbalanced, and you are a bit too attached to the other person.

And then, before you know it, he'll stop caring about his own feelings! What should have been a two-way relationship has become one-sided.

As a result, you will feel physically and mentally exhausted in this state. But don't worry! This is just your body and mind telling you that it's time for a change. You may even gradually develop a sense of inferiority.

This is why the other person will feel that you are clingy and lack independence. He is used to all your amazing initiatives!

He takes your efforts for granted, but you can turn this around! You can help him feel the sense of accomplishment that a man feels when he chases after his spouse.

Unfortunately, the relationship has become a bit mundane for him. This has led him to think of you as dispensable.

The reason you haven't proposed breaking up may be that you don't feel like you've found a better goal yet. But it's not hard to tell from your argument that his interest in you has gradually waned. This is an exciting opportunity for you to find something even better!

I really hope you can discover your own problems through the following two points and work hard to improve yourself correctly!

And you can improve your long-distance relationship! It will return to the way you want it to be.

But here's the good news! The premise is that you must be clear that in any unbalanced relationship, it may not be because you are poorly qualified or you have done something wrong. It is simply because everyone's abilities are limited.

It's okay if you can't achieve the appearance that the other person expects through your efforts. This just means that at this stage, there is a sense of disparity between your conditions in his mind.

It seems to him that your conditions do not match, but it is likely that it is because he once liked you and the feelings that arose are hard to let go, which has caused the current lukewarm state. But don't worry! This is an easy fix.

2. Self-planning.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Rome! And while academic studies are important, there's so much more to success in life.

Many successful people deeply understand one truth, and that is that it is enough for me to do one thing well. Each of us has our own strengths and weaknesses, and that's a good thing!

It's time to discover your strengths and learn how to make them shine! When you do, you'll be unstoppable.

Absolutely! This is an essential part of career planning. From a psychological standpoint,

Don't cling blindly to something that may not bear fruit. You've got plenty of time to find out! And who knows what amazing things you'll discover along the way?

Don't get too hung up on one thing! You might miss out on other amazing opportunities. For example, if you spend two years studying for the postgraduate entrance exam and don't get in, but if you had spent those two years studying something you were interested in or good at, you might have already made some small achievements!

So, here's what I recommend you do: First, think about what you're good at and what you're likely to succeed at. Then, go for it! Don't plan your life path too singularly, because you'll miss out on all the amazing possibilities out there.

3. Get ready to discover some amazing ways to make your long-distance relationship work!

Long-distance relationships are also a problem that many people face nowadays. And it's a wonderful thing when two people develop feelings for each other!

It may be due to the right time, the right place, and the right people. Many people are willing to endure the inconvenience of long-distance relationships for the sake of this connection, and it's so worth it!

And through hard work to transform yourself, in the hope that this relationship will eventually come to fruition. Therefore, in the process of emotional friction, we must pay attention to some ways and methods of getting along.

Even if you can't see each other often, you can still keep the love alive! Keep the other person interested in you!

Keep the relationship going strong in a lovely atmosphere so that it can blossom into something amazing when the time is right!

I'm excited to share three effective ways to maintain a relationship with you!

1. Leave some blank space!

When a painter paints, he doesn't fill the entire canvas! He designs from a compositional point of view, leaving some blank parts in his work to enhance the psychological phenomenon of space. This makes the picture more artistic and spiritual!

And guess what? The same applies to relationships! You just need to give the other person some space.

It's time for you both to get back to your own lives! This period of time is a great chance to take a break from your relationship.

It's important to remember not to send messages to your partner all the time. This is likely to make your partner feel annoyed, so it's best to give them some space!

You can do this by exchanging morning greetings, chatting for a while before going to bed at night, and discussing major issues with your partner during the workday. This will make your partner feel your presence at all times, while also giving them enough space to be independent. This independent time is also the time when they will miss you, and that's a great thing!

From a psychological point of view, if you are always in front of the other person, they will always feel your presence, which is great!

On the contrary, this will help you avoid any negative feelings that might arise in a long-distance relationship. So, it's really important to disappear for a while, give your partner the chance to message you, and make sure they're thinking of you!

2. Sharing your life with each other is one of the most exciting parts of any relationship!

Did you dress to impress today? Did you treat yourself to a delicious lunch?

Have you chosen a gift for your partner today? Thanks to the rapid development of 5G technology, it is becoming increasingly convenient to share your lives in the virtual world – how exciting is that?

The best part is, you can set up your own virtual account and show off your sophisticated lifestyle to your partner!

Attracting lots of fans is a great way to make your partner feel how popular you are. It'll really enhance your value in their eyes!

3. Build a state of going together!

Absolutely! If he encounters something at work, you can definitely help him within your abilities. For example, you can help him with some paperwork.

Or maybe a business gift? It's the little things that show you care!

If you encounter any problems in your life or work, you can seek advice from your partner. And when your partner gives you help, be sure to give them praise and compliments! Make the appropriate changes and move forward together.

This will take your relationship to the next level and make you feel like you care for each other even when you're apart. Get ready to move forward together!

So, what can you do now to make things even better? You can start by improving yourself and changing the way you interact with each other in your long-distance relationship!

It's time to let the other person notice your amazing changes and increased charm! They'll be excited to return to the way they were when they were first attracted to you. Let him look forward to a better future for you!

If you can do the above, then there is a good chance that your relationship will warm up again! But if you do all you can and still can't change the other person's state, then you should be prepared to find someone who is a better match for you.

The great news is that happiness is very simple! As long as you are heading in the right direction, all roads lead to Rome. Just as your career is not necessarily related to taking the postgraduate entrance exam,

So, the happiness of your marriage is not necessarily related to this man!

You need to understand that you can have a better life by being the best you can be! The future is bright, so keep up the great work!

Love When you are together, you will inevitably encounter various problems. First of all, being in different places may make both parties feel a loss of trust or be very uneasy. You have no way of knowing what the other person is doing right now, what they are thinking, and there is no way to find out in real time.

There is always a reason for things, so you need to find out why things are going wrong in your relationship. Write down the reasons, including your own and your partner's.

Record and see how you can change each other. You may also feel that you are a bit inconsiderate and shackled by some fixed attitudes. You can only feel at ease when you are protected by the other person, and you must take the initiative to protect yourself.

Anxiety is often a feeling created within us. Your desire for the other person's protection may also mean that you want to avoid certain pressures that you need to face. The other person's confusion and lack of direction may also sway their attitude, and slowly their attitude towards you will become more and more negative.

You failed the postgraduate entrance exam twice. You're idle. You haven't found a job. You need to decide whether to continue your studies or make other changes. Either way, you have problems. These problems can't be solved suddenly. We need to find a mature self more than we need love.

You need to find your own future plan. Think about your path, your future, and what you can do to achieve it. Take the necessary life background psychological test to better understand your state of self. You can do this. Good luck.

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