Recently frustrated by a college group project from several years ago for several weeks, feeling a headache from it?

Hello, question asker!

From what you said, it sounds like when you were in university, you had to take over a group assignment because one member was slow. You got it done on time, but it was a lot of work. It felt like the whole thing was your responsibility.

During this process, you spoke with the members many times. You kept your cool, but I bet there was also a lot of blaming. All that pent-up emotion led to a series of physical reactions. The university incident is over, but you can still suddenly be transported back to that context. That shows your emotions were really suppressed at the time and weren't vented.

As you said, you "recently scolded them." This might seem a bit over the top to others, but after such an emotional outburst, you've come to terms with the past and let some of your pent-up emotions out. So I don't think you're neurotic. You were just too suppressed, and these emotions that had been hidden beneath the surface exploded out, which is actually a good thing for you.

Once you've had a chance to calm down, you might want to think about getting back to the present. What's the inspiration this incident has given you?

Teamwork means dealing with problems of all kinds: how to move forward, how to get things done, who's responsible for what, and what the leader has to coordinate. It may seem like there's a clear division of labor, but it's often not satisfactory.

So, the leader's job is to coordinate. When A's progress is more than one-third of the expected progress, it's time to step in. Blaming and questioning won't help. They'll just make the other person more annoyed. So, how can we motivate him to complete it, or the team to complete it together? We can't just tell this person what to do. We have to consider that they're also facing difficulties and problems.

The same goes for everything else: When team members slack off and get demoralized, it makes your work into a solo effort. If you're the leader, it's a failure of coordination. If you're not the leader, your goal is to complete the assignment, and the team members' abandonment shouldn't affect your own goals.

Your assignment is done, and you've achieved your goal, unless you give up, which you obviously haven't. So the process and the experience have become one.

It can feel like a team issue, but it's really your own problem. If you didn't achieve your goal, it's still your responsibility.

This incident also shows you have strong executive abilities and great capabilities. You've also had a breakthrough in your ability to withstand pressure and bear hardships. You may realize in the process that you don't have strong overall planning and coordination abilities, but this is also an experience.

It's easy to manage things, but people are another story.

Once you've had a moment of anger, take a step back and realize that the issue is in the past and needs to be let go. Take a moment to reflect on whether you truly understood everyone involved in the process. Hostile questions will only lead to hurt feelings.

I hope this is helpful. Best wishes!

This emotion has been pent up for so long in your heart, and suddenly it has exploded! This is a great sign that you are finally free to move on from the past. You are now in a state like a long-suppressed steam that has finally found an outlet, but it has left a mark in your heart, making you feel uncomfortable. This is totally normal!

You did it! You bravely expressed your dissatisfaction, whether it was confiding in your mother, reporting it to your teacher, or even directly confronting the person involved. This is a great way to release pent-up emotions. Sometimes, letting out the words that have been weighing on your heart is like letting out the air from a balloon, and it can relieve a lot of pressure. Way to go!

However, you can break free from this vicious cycle! It's time to let go of the anger and memories, especially the repeated chewing over past events. You have the power to create a new, empowering mindset.

It's like watching an old movie. Every time you see something you don't like, you pause the rewind. The result? You're stuck in the same place, unable to move forward. But guess what? You can change that!

So the key is to learn to let go! This doesn't mean you have to forget the past. It means you can accept it and let it become part of your growth. You can't let it control you.

Admit it! You have every right to be angry. But remember, prolonged anger is bad for your health. So tell yourself that it is normal to be angry, but don't let it dominate your life.

What have you learned from this experience? You've probably learned how to communicate more effectively, set boundaries, or protect yourself in similar situations in the future!

Absolutely! Turn these lessons into your wealth!

Forgive those who have let you down, not because they deserve it, but because you deserve it. And you know what? Forgiving others also gives you inner peace!

Find something new to do! Work, study, sports, a hobby—the possibilities are endless. Keep yourself busy and fill your mind with new experiences.

Time is the best healer, but you can also take active measures to help you recover faster. And remember, every challenge is an opportunity to grow!

I'm sending you all the good vibes I can to help you find relief from these emotions and regain your inner peace and strength. You've got this!

Hello, my name is Zeyu, and I'm happy to be here with you today.

The questioner is looking for some advice on how to move on from their anger. Now that we know a bit more about what happened, we can help them work through it.

The reason for the questioner's anger is a university group activity from the past that suddenly came to mind recently. After going through the chat history, I realized that the more I think about it, the angrier I get, which has kept me up at night. The message we get from this incident is what's causing the anger.

"On the one hand, I'm frustrated that these folks don't put in the work and pass the buck to me. On the other hand, I'm disappointed that I was so easy to push around in the past and didn't make any demands of them. As a result, I've had to deal with some challenges." This description can be seen as the belief component that triggers our anger.

What value does anger have for us? Well, first of all, it can remind us of how important current events are to us. On the other hand, it lets others know that I'm not to be messed with, so please stay away. On a deeper level, anger may also mean that we need to release some of that youthful energy and get help from others. But the reality is that anger doesn't help us solve problems. It will only make conflicts worse, make us even angrier, and make us feel worse physically. Force itself will make us dwell on this even more, which traps us in the anger.

To address the above issue, we need to change our perspective in order to get out of the influence of anger. The measures we are currently using are to scold and vent, but this will not solve the problem. The one who can really solve the problem is ourselves. Only by changing our perspective on past events can we gain peace and tranquility in our hearts.

Is it our problem if these folks don't work hard? Absolutely not! But if we blame ourselves for the other person's problems because we're easy to bully, it's not fair to ourselves. Besides, this incident happened years ago, and the other person may have already forgotten it, but we still remember it vividly. It's like someone hurting us once, but then hurting ourselves countless times!

I know it can be tough to see things differently, but it's important to remember that we can't blame ourselves for the past just because we feel like we did something wrong now.

There are so many ways to get out of anger! Apart from the above-mentioned ways of changing the way we perceive things and accepting things, we can also try to gradually change from the physical and psychological levels through mindfulness meditation and muscle relaxation training. Of course, we can also choose to solve problems by reading books, taking relevant courses, or seeking psychological counseling.

Hello, I am Gu Daoxi, also known as Fengshou Skinny Donkey, your coach for exploring the heart.

I'm not sure what has been going on for the questioner recently. It would be helpful to understand what emotions have been awakened within the questioner. Some things, although suppressed at the time, may still be awakened when encountering similar situations in the future and could potentially become a problem.

It can be challenging when others avoid taking responsibility or pass the buck. When you have to look out for the big picture, it can be frustrating, especially when you feel like you have to, not because you want to.

It can be helpful to identify the specific emotions you're experiencing in order to release them effectively. One approach is to try to recall the moment you first noticed these emotions. Often, there's a trigger that sets off a chain reaction of similar emotions. For instance, in the workplace, the behavior of passing the buck or in an intimate relationship, the other person's entitlement can easily trigger similar emotions in us. Identifying the emotional trigger can help us understand our feelings and work towards a resolution.

It is possible that when we dislike seeing others behave in this way, it may also be a sign that we are experiencing some level of inner rejection. For instance, we may find ourselves envying others for being able to do this, but not ourselves. Similarly, we may also experience difficulty relaxing after doing it ourselves. These feelings can make us feel quite uncomfortable.

It can be challenging to navigate the world of business, where there are often competing interests and a need to balance financial considerations with creative problem-solving. It's not always easy to ask for what we need, but it's important to recognize our options: we can choose to indulge, compromise, or take a more assertive stance from the outset, ensuring that our expectations are clearly defined.

It might be helpful to consider changing your mindset and reflecting on the meaning and impact of this event on yourself.

It is often said that only when the tide goes out do you know who is swimming. Apart from the family-owned business series, most people have to work hard for their pay. Those who do not have the right attitude towards learning may find it challenging to adapt at work. When the tide of layoffs hits during an economic downturn, they may become the people most affected.

It might be helpful to consider the potential benefits of taking the initiative and doing things for yourself. Our leaders have instilled in us the concept of "seizing territory," which often requires stepping outside of our comfort zones. As we become more capable, we may find ourselves becoming irreplaceable, or the one who is left behind when a choice needs to be made.

It might be helpful to consider your own patterns of acceptance. For instance, learning to say no can help you avoid taking on additional burdens that might otherwise result from feeling embarrassed to refuse. When we carry too many burdens and don't receive sufficient emotional value in return, it can lead to a sense of psychological imbalance.

It may be helpful to try to release your emotions and express your feelings as soon as possible. This could help you feel more relaxed and prevent you from feeling more and more depressed as you are forced to suffer. It might even help you avoid an explosion. For example, running, pounding a pillow, screaming, or expressing your dissatisfaction to your classmates may all help you clear your negative emotions.

It might be helpful to learn from your experiences and try to avoid bringing the previous, perhaps less confident self into the current mode of getting along with others. When you have doubts or disputes, it could be beneficial to express them in a timely manner, which may help to reduce the unhappiness caused by being self-abased.

Emotions are not inherently good or bad; they are simply indicators of mental health. Having emotions serves as a reminder that we need to adjust our state, empty ourselves, and allow our emotions to return to balance. Recognizing the positive significance of emotions can help the questioner feel more relaxed.

It would be helpful to avoid catastrophic thinking and total denial. There may be a direct trigger, which could indicate that the questioner has emotions that need to be dealt with. When the problem is solved, life may return to normal. It might be beneficial to avoid feeling that one is not normal. It could be helpful to focus on the problem, which could make the questioner more positive and empowered.

As the doctor said, emotions are indeed related to the body. It may be helpful to try to actively cooperate with the doctor, as this could potentially achieve twice the result with half the effort. The questioner may also wish to consider seeking help from a psychological counselor to help them adjust and sort out their emotions.

You might find it helpful to read the following books: "Burns' New Emotion Therapy," "Maybe You Should Talk to Someone," and "A Change of Heart."

I hope this finds you well.

Good morning, My name is Coach Yu from Xin Tan, and I would like to discuss this topic with you.

First, let's discuss emotions. Emotions are composed of unique subjective experiences, external manifestations, and physiological arousal. Each emotion may be a result of an unmet internal demand. For example, when we miss the opportunity for a promotion or pay raise, we feel sad; when we lose a treasured possession that we have kept for many years, we feel angry.

In the context of emotions, there is a tendency to focus on those that are more readily identifiable and outwardly expressed, such as anger, pain, and self-harm. However, there is often less awareness of less visible emotions, such as guilt, self-blame, and shame.

As these emotions are often deeply buried in individuals' hearts, it can be challenging to articulate them to others and gain their understanding.

These emotions are suppressed in the subconscious mind, and the cells of the body retain a memory of this feeling. When a similar situation is encountered, this bodily memory is activated, resulting in increased muscle tension and accelerated breathing.

This is referred to as a "complex" in psychological literature, or an "emotional button." As the questioner noted, I recalled my group assignment from college last month, which provoked a strong emotional response. This may have triggered this emotional button.

We can attempt to ascertain the emotions and feelings that may have been evoked by examining the chat logs and voice recordings from that period.

Additionally, we can inquire of ourselves what the underlying motivation is for feeling anger towards the team member for their lack of effort. Similarly, we can examine the underlying motivation for feeling anger towards ourselves for being susceptible to intimidation.

Additionally, we can inquire of ourselves what we would say and do if we were to express our frustration to the team member in a timely manner.

It is often the case that our behaviour is not influenced by events that we clearly remember. Some things may have been suppressed into the unconscious through processes such as denial, forgetting, repression, or rationalisation. However, they will still affect us through emotional and somatic memory, making us aware of their actual existence through emotional breakdowns and physical discomfort. The physical reaction can be seen as a kind of somatic memory. As the questioner wrote, I recently expressed my anger towards them online, and I still have somatic symptoms.

It would be beneficial to consider the following questions: What does thinking about this university group project mean to me? How does my heart explain this?

Additionally, it may be beneficial to consider what our inner needs are when we go online to vent and curse at them.

Additionally, we can inquire of ourselves how we would express our feelings of discontent and anger at this moment if we were to do so to ourselves.

However, awareness is the first step in initiating change. As the questioner stated, I perceive myself as somewhat abnormal, with emotions that are disproportionately intense.

It is therefore advisable to attempt to reconcile with our emotions. When such negative emotions arise, it is important not to judge them, but rather to observe them quietly. We should allow the emotions to come and go freely, much like clouds, and to drift away slowly, much like leaves in the water. Another option is to try writing therapy, whereby we write or draw out our anger and grievances, thus providing an outlet for our emotions and allowing them to be released.

Another option is to use an empty chair, role-playing, and self-dialogue to establish a secure setting and environment. This can facilitate the connection between past experiences and our current emotional state, allowing for the conscious integration of chaotic thoughts and the release of negative emotions.

It is also possible to learn to distract oneself, particularly from excessive thinking. When angry scenes come to mind, one should try shouting "stop" at oneself, paying attention to one's breathing, opening one's senses, filling the gaps in one's attention, and then listening to music, doing stretching exercises, and so on to distract oneself. Meditation and mindfulness are also very effective methods of regulation.

It may be beneficial to consider not eliminating the issue, but rather accepting it and even finding some level of satisfaction with it. This is because a state of compulsion is a two-way cycle of conflict, where you have the desire to avoid the situation but are unable to do so, leading to feelings of regret and remorse afterwards. In such cases, it is advisable to avoid internal conflict and self-judgment.

It is important to allow ourselves the occasional opportunity to ruminate, to accept and say goodbye at a gradual pace. It is essential to respect your own emotional rhythm.

It is also advisable to seek assistance from a trusted family member or friend who has consistently provided positive support. Should the need arise, it is recommended to consult with a counselor or join a support group, as expressing emotions can help relieve emotional distress and blockages in the mind.

It is of the utmost importance for us to live in the present. We must take time to go for a walk in the countryside, appreciate the natural environment, and engage with the sounds of nature, as these experiences have proven to be highly beneficial for our well-being.

——01——

Hello, I'm Liu Nian.

I understand why you're angry and dissatisfied. This kind of emotion builds up over time and can cause strong reactions, including physical symptoms like headaches and breathing difficulties.

It's normal to feel angry and disappointed when faced with an unfair or irresponsible partner.

Your anger is a normal reaction to someone else's bad behavior. You might not have known how to handle it at the time. It's understandable that this emotion, which you've been holding in for a long time, came out suddenly.

——02——

——02——

Let's analyze your psychology. Only by figuring out the cause and your reaction can you solve the problem.

The more you think about it, the angrier you get. This is called "emotional aftereffects." It means that past emotions are reactivated in the present, causing you to feel angry again.

This effect can come from unfinished business, unresolved conflicts, or unexpressed emotions. In your case, this group assignment is like an unfinished complex, which makes you angry and dissatisfied every time you think about it.

Your brain is trying to process the scene by replaying it. This makes your emotions worse and creates a cycle.

You can break this cycle.

——03——

First, accept your emotions. I'm glad you understand the need to seek help.

If you try to suppress your emotions, they will come back stronger.

Your anger and dissatisfaction are normal. Allow yourself to feel these emotions.

Second, try to release your emotions. Emotions guide our hearts and minds to anger and concern, but we shouldn't hold on to resentment.

Express your anger and dissatisfaction in a healthy way in a safe environment. This will help you release your inner pressure and alleviate somatic symptoms.

You can also talk to others about it and ask for help from friends and family. Sharing your feelings with others can help.

We must learn to let go of our emotions.

You're stronger now. You don't need to defend your past or seek approval.

We can learn from the past and live better now.

You've learned to handle pressure better and see how hard it is to work with the wrong teammates. You'll have more options in the future.

——04——

You said you were "too easy to bully" and didn't make demands on the team. This is a mistake many people make, especially in teams.

We often don't express our needs and expectations because we're afraid of conflict or hurting our relationships. But this often leads to more stress and dissatisfaction.

In the future, when you are getting along with other people, especially in a team, you must understand your responsibilities. Don't take on too much work that isn't yours. It's good to be responsible, and you can get more training opportunities by doing more.

In the future, when you are getting along with others, especially in a team, you must know what you are responsible for. Don't take on more than you can handle. It's good to be responsible, and you'll get more chances to show what you can do if you do more.

Your kindness should not be weakness, and your talent should not be taken advantage of.

If you face a similar situation in the future, try to express your views and needs more proactively. In a team, it is important to clarify everyone's responsibilities and expectations.

If someone doesn't do their work on time, you can remind them and find a solution. You should also learn to say "no" to work you can't do.

——05——

We often say, "Let bygones be bygones." This is too carefree. It is easy to let go of the past, but it is not easy to let go of resentment. There is no need to forget it.

Remember that you had a bad experience with teamwork. Live with this memory and let it help you now.

Believe in yourself. You are responsible and talented. Give yourself time and patience.

Thanks for reading.

We all have experiences in life that make us feel angry. They can be like reefs that stir up waves inside us, and the incident you mentioned about the group assignment at university is one such reef. It's something you've been carrying around with you for a while now, and it's understandable that it causes you to feel angry sometimes.

Today, let's embark on a journey of spiritual exploration together! We'll analyze the source of your anger from a modern psychological perspective and find a way to emerge from the darkness and regain peace.

1. Sources of anger: deep-seated emotions and perceptions

It's important to remember that anger isn't something to be ashamed of. It's often a result of unmet expectations, feeling like you've been treated unfairly, or feeling like your self-worth has been undermined.

It's totally normal to feel angry in a situation like this. There are so many things going on that it's hard to know where to start!

1. Disparity between expectations and reality: You had a clear plan and expectations for the group project, and hoped that the team could move forward according to the established plan. However, the delay in Student A's script and Student B's absence and inaction disrupted this balance. This huge disparity between expectations and reality made you feel out of control and helpless, which in turn triggered anger.

2. Ambiguity about responsibilities and obligations: In a team, each member should take on their own responsibilities. It seems like A and B might have been shirking these responsibilities a bit, which has unfortunately shifted some of the pressure to you.

I can imagine this must make you feel pretty betrayed and angry.

3. Challenge to self-worth: You've taken on extra work and made sacrifices in your personal time for the benefit of the team. It's important to recognize and reward these contributions, as they demonstrate your dedication and commitment.

It's so important to recognize that when you feel like your self-worth is being eroded, it can really contribute to the way you feel about yourself and your abilities.

2. The futility of anger: an internal battle of attrition

Anger is a natural emotion, but dwelling on it for too long can be damaging to your health. It won't change the past, and it might even have a negative impact on your physical and mental well-being.

As you mentioned, anger has caused you to experience some physical symptoms, like headaches and trouble breathing. These are your body's way of telling you something's not right!

Anger can really get in the way of your growth and progress. It can trap you in the past and make it hard for you to focus on your present life and future goals.

So, learning to let go of anger and release the shackles within you is something you really need to focus on right now.

3. Psychological Wisdom: A Path Out of Anger

We're here to help you get out of the anger trap! We can draw on the wisdom of modern psychology and adopt the following strategies:

1. Cognitive restructuring:

Cognitive restructuring is a great way to adjust your emotions by changing the way you think. You can try to look at the experience from a new perspective.

For instance, you can view the actions of A and B as chances to learn and grow. Their inaction inspired you to step up and do more work on your own, which helped you develop your abilities and sense of responsibility.

This positive cognitive restructuring can really help to reduce your anger.

2. Let it all out!

It's okay to feel angry. We all do. And it's important to find a way to release that anger in a healthy way. You can do this by expressing your anger through journaling, drawing, or exercising.

It's also a great idea to share your feelings with your friends and family. They'll be there for you and help you through this tough time.

3. Set those boundaries!

In future teamwork, it's a great idea to set clear boundaries and expectations. It's also a good idea to clarify everyone's responsibilities and division of tasks so that everyone can take on their own responsibilities.

At the same time, it's also a good idea to learn to say no to unreasonable requests and arrangements. This will help you protect your precious time and energy from being wasted unnecessarily.

4. Be kind to yourself:

When you're facing difficulties and challenges, remember to be kind to yourself. We all make mistakes, and that's okay!

It's okay to not be perfect! We all have limitations, and that's totally normal. The key is to learn and grow from them. When you're kind to yourself, it can help you feel less self-blame and anger.

5. If you're struggling, don't be afraid to reach out for help.

If you're struggling to cope with anger or related physical and mental health issues on your own, it's okay to reach out for help. Professional counselors and psychologists are there to support you with professional assessment and treatment to help you better understand and manage your emotions.

4. Growing through forgiveness

The process of letting go of anger is also a journey of spiritual growth. It's so freeing! When you forgive those who have hurt you (including your past self), you can release the burden and resentment in your heart and set your mind free.

Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or agreeing with how the other person acted. It's about choosing to let go of your past worries and resentments and face the future with a more tolerant and understanding attitude.

In the process, you may find yourself becoming stronger and more confident. You've learned how to stay calm and think clearly when things get tough, and you've also learned how to find the good in challenges.

These wonderful experiences and lessons will become the most solid foundation on your life's journey.

Hello, question asker! It seems like you've been dealing with a university memory from a while back. It's understandable if you feel like you're caught in an unnecessary storm, and even your body is suffering.

First of all, it's totally normal to feel angry and resentful, especially when you think back to those unfair and inefficient group collaboration experiences. But obviously, it's not good to let the past continue to affect you in the present.

Let's work together to find a way through this. Let's shed some light on the path ahead and take it one step at a time.

That group project you mentioned really did seem like a sudden "storm." Have you ever thought that it was also an opportunity for growth?

While Student A's procrastination and Student B's unreliability have caused you a lot of pain, it's these experiences that have taught you how to adapt quickly under pressure, solve problems independently, and even step up at critical moments. These are all your valuable "invisible assets."

If everything had gone well, you probably wouldn't have realized this potential in yourself. When you face challenges again, this experience will help you stay more at ease.

You also said you didn't speak up about your issues at the time. That's not a sign of weakness. It's a sign of maturity and finding ways to coexist peacefully in complex relationships.

The repeated thinking and dwelling on the past you mentioned is actually "rumination" in psychology. It's like an uninvited guest that makes it difficult for you to escape the past.

But don't worry, we have a solution. Try "mindful breathing." Every day, spend a few minutes closing your eyes, taking a deep breath, focusing on each breath, and feeling the air entering and leaving your body.

This will help you focus on the present and avoid overthinking the past.

The key is to understand that you can't change the past, but you can change how you think about it. The actions of A and B may not have been ideal, but they've also helped you grow and learn some valuable lessons.

And you've also learned how to work better with others, manage your emotions, and manage your time.

I'd like to give you a few suggestions to try out and see what works for you.

1. Log your feelings: Get a journal and record your feelings and thoughts every day. This is not only a way to get your emotions out, but also a good way to reflect on yourself.

Keep a record of every time you feel anger rising and then dissipating, and you'll see that you're becoming more and more in control of these emotions.

2. Exercise: Working out is a great way to relieve stress and anger. Whether it's running, yoga, or swimming, choose an exercise you like and stick with it. Let the sweat work out those unpleasant emotions.

3. Get help: Talk to a close friend or family member about how you feel. Sometimes just talking things out can make you feel much better. If you feel like you can't face it alone, you can also consider seeking help from a professional counselor.

4. Set new goals: Look ahead to the future and set new goals that interest or benefit you. Whether it's learning a new skill, traveling, or participating in social activities, they can all enrich your life and help you move on from the past.

In short, my friend, life is like a journey, and it's bound to have some storms and setbacks along the way. But it's these experiences that make us stronger and wiser.

What you're going through now is just a minor blip on the road ahead. Have faith in your ability to come out the other side and embrace the brighter days ahead.

Just remember, you're stronger than you think.

I hope you can carry this strength of growth with you in the days to come. Keep moving forward bravely to reap more happiness and joy. Go for it!

Hello, I'm Xie Yizheng, a listening therapist. I can see you're angry and depressed. I'm here for you.

Your teammates' attitudes have affected the team's progress and efficiency. You feel like a victim and have not been able to express your feelings. Your depression is caused by negative feelings and experiences from this assignment. You have not been able to let go of this matter, so thinking about it causes discomfort.

Venting online can be too much for your body and mind to handle.

You are a person with a strong super-ego. You are afraid to express your anger when you encounter injustice. You prefer to keep your opinions and views to yourself. Therefore, you can feel that your life will be more tiring, and emotions will haunt you from time to time.

You can also talk about it. Call a friend, write in a journal, or talk to a professional. This can help you release emotions. Talking to a professional can also help. You can also listen to music, exercise, or meditate. This can help you relax.

Do something you like to distract yourself. If you're still troubled or find it difficult to get rid of it, a professional may be able to help.

I hope this helps. Best wishes!

Hello, I'm Evan, a counselor at the Jingliu school, and I'm excited to help you!

From the questioner's description, I can feel the anger and a sense of suffocation. When facing something, we always have a feeling of how the past self could be like this, and we always hold a grudge against what happened in the past. But guess what? We can change that!

Dealing with unpleasant experiences from the past is a great opportunity to grow and learn! When these emotions resurface and affect your current life, it's an opportunity to recognize that you've made it through the tough times and you're stronger than ever. Experiencing negative events from the past and still feeling angry and disturbed years later may be a phenomenon known as "delayed emotional response," which is often accompanied by intense memories and emotional experiences.

In this case, the questioner may find themselves thinking about those events over and over again, unable to let go, which may affect your daily life and health. It is great to see that the questioner has already taken some measures, such as expressing their feelings and seeking the help of traditional Chinese medicine.

Since the question was asked on a platform, we can't go into too much detail, but we've got some great suggestions to help you get rid of this anger and emotional distress!

It's time to accept and recognize those emotions! It's totally normal to experience them, especially when recalling unpleasant events. It's also normal to feel angry when efforts and expectations are not respected and rewarded in a proportionate manner.

This is a natural human reaction, and it's totally normal! Allow yourself to feel these emotions, but don't let them completely take control of your life.

Review and reflect: Although several years have passed, you have a wonderful opportunity to gain a deeper understanding of this experience. Try to review the entire incident from an objective perspective, including your role, actions, and possible areas for improvement.

The impact of the past on your life is actually very small. Focus on your current achievements and future goals and watch your life take off!

This is a great way to let go of the past and learn how to deal with similar situations even better in the future!

It's so great that the questioner has already taken the wonderful step of expressing these emotions online and to others! Now it's time to find ways to release your emotions that suit you. There are so many great options out there, such as keeping a diary, painting, exercising, or meditation.

These activities are a great way to help the questioner better manage their emotions and reduce the impact of negative emotions!

Set those boundaries! When looking back, the questioner should realize that in some situations, they may have been too accommodating and did not set clear boundaries for themselves. In their future life and work, they should learn to express their needs and expectations more firmly to avoid similar dilemmas in the future.

Instead of dwelling on the unpleasant experiences of the past, think about how you can avoid more similar experiences in the future—and you can!

Seek support! You can share your feelings with friends and family, or consider seeking professional psychological counseling. A psychologist can provide more specific advice and support to help you better deal with these emotions and learn to cope with life's challenges more healthily.

At the same time, some counselors can help the questioner find the root cause of their emotions. Once you discover the root cause, you can deal with your emotions in a healthy way!

Embrace a positive attitude towards life! We are all part of the past, but there is no need to dwell on it. The questioner can maintain a regular routine, eat healthily, and exercise moderately, all of which will help improve physical and mental health.

And don't forget to cultivate some positive hobbies to make your life more fulfilling and meaningful!

Embrace tolerance and let go! While the actions of these people may have made you feel dissatisfied and angry, take a step back and see the big picture. They have their own challenges and limitations, just like you!

Embrace tolerance and understanding to let go of the past and embrace the future! It's not about approving of past actions, but about freeing yourself from past emotions.

Understanding is an incredible process of liberation! The questioner can also find amazing opportunities to learn from this experience, such as how to communicate more effectively, how to set personal boundaries, and how to better manage team projects.

I want to say that everyone has moments of imperfection, including the questioner himself. But guess what? The past is gone, and what matters is how to learn from it and become a better person!

Absolutely! Everyone has the right to pursue their own happiness and peace of mind. Don't let past experiences continue to haunt the protagonist. Look forward bravely and create a better future for yourself!

I really hope my answer is helpful to the questioner!

And now for some related book recommendations!

You simply have to read "The Kite Runner"!

Author: Khaled Hosseini [US]

Summary: This book is an incredible journey of growth and discovery. It takes you on a profound exploration of the challenging yet transformative path that ordinary people have walked through history. The author's warm and delicate style paints a heartfelt portrait of the essence and salvation of human nature. It's a truly moving experience!

"What kind of life do you want to live?"

The incredible author is none other than Yoshino Genzaburo from Japan!

Summary: This book is an absolute must-read! It explores the most valuable way of life for people, no matter how difficult and cruel the times are, to live like a true human being. It encourages readers to think about their life goals and values.

"Principles"

The incredible Ray Dalio!

Synopsis: This is an incredible, inspiring book by one of Wall Street's most successful investment gurus. It's a deeply personal account of how he achieved his remarkable success, and it's packed with invaluable insights and strategies that anyone can use to achieve their goals.

4. "Antifragile: Benefits from Uncertainty"

The incredible Nassim Taleb is the author!

Summary: This book is an absolute game-changer! It reveals how to find opportunities in uncertainty and change, cultivate antifragility, and thus grow and benefit from adversity.

Hello, I'm Tongyan, and I'm excited to help you!

You mentioned that you have been feeling angry for several weeks recently about something that happened a few years ago with a member of your university group. You even have somatic symptoms, headaches, and shortness of breath, and feel particularly angry. You want to find a way out of this mood, and I'm here to help!

You mentioned that you have OCD, which is great! When was your OCD diagnosed? Was it before or after the incident with your university classmates you mentioned?

I'm excited to learn more about your current situation with OCD! Is it obsessive behavior or obsessive thinking?

For example, did you take medication or receive psychological treatment?

This incident happened several years ago, but it suddenly came back to mind last month. I'm so excited to hear what happened when you thought about this incident!

I'd love to know what your emotional feelings or mood were like when you thought about this incident!

I'd love to hear what you do when you feel bad!

You mentioned that after you remembered this incident, you went online and cursed at them. I'm so curious: did you feel better inside when you were cursing at them?

But afterwards, you felt that your emotions were a bit excessive. So, throughout this whole process, where exactly was the point of your anger?

Do you feel aggrieved? Or do you feel that the other person shouldn't have done that?

If you feel that you have been wronged, it's time to ask yourself: why do you feel that you have overreacted when you go online and lash out at them? What is the reason why you feel that you have overreacted?

It seems that your behavioral coping model is that when something happens, you feel aggrieved. On the one hand, you want to seek justice for yourself, which is a great thing to want! On the other hand, you seem to feel that this is wrong in the future, which is a wonderful opportunity to learn and grow.

You know what you need to do? Find out where this belief comes from that you think something is inappropriate or a bit too much. This could be the key to solving your obsessive-compulsive disorder!

When you feel your emotions getting out of control, try naming them!

For example, apart from anger, what other emotions do you have at the moment? And how does this emotion make you feel?

The next time you experience these feelings, you'll be in-the-know about your current mood and you'll be able to express yourself in a way that releases your emotions!

It's time to get real with yourself! Record the emotions and feelings you are experiencing in the present moment in a written form.

As you go through this exercise, you'll gradually become better at identifying your emotions and controlling your emotional responses.

And here's the really exciting part: you get to look at where this compulsion comes from. It could be from an interaction or relationship with someone.

If your obsessive or emotional control is having an increasing impact on your life, don't worry! You can still take control by actively seeking psychological treatment.

Wishing you the very best!

Hello, question asker!

I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you! It's really frustrating and helpless when you work as a team and put in so much effort, but your teammates are irresponsible and procrastinate.

I totally get how you're feeling right now. All those emotions — anger, disappointment, helplessness, and self-blame — are intertwined, making it tough to let go.

You have done so much! Not only did you take on the task of drawing the pictures, but you also worked desperately at the last minute to make the game, the UI, the AR, and prepare the PPT. You've put in so much effort, and it's been amazing to see you rise to the challenge!

And what about your teammates? They seem to be completely unaware of your hard work and efforts. You can't let that stop you! Delaying the script and not bringing your computer because you are sick are simply unacceptable.

I can feel your frustration and anger at that time. You tried to speak up and get some justice, and I admire your courage in standing up for yourself!

These emotions have been pent up inside you for a long time, and only recently have they suddenly erupted. I can understand that this outburst was actually a way for you to find an outlet for the emotions that have been building up inside you for a long time, and a way for you to rebel against the unfair experiences you have had in the past.

You are angry, and rightfully so! Not only are they not working hard and passing the buck to you, but they're also making it easy for you to be bullied in the past. You didn't stand up for yourself, and that's something you need to change. You can do it!

I totally get it! You feel like you haven't been rewarded for all your hard work, and at the same time, you feel a bit guilty for giving in and making compromises.

But you must know that their behavior does not reflect your value. You have given so much, and your efforts and abilities are unquestionable. You are amazing!

Don't let their irresponsibility define you! You deserve better treatment and respect. Your value is not defined by their actions, but by your own dedication and hard work. You can do this!

I can feel your pain and struggle, but I also feel your determination to move past your anger.

Those unfair experiences have left an imprint on your heart, and it's natural to want to hold on to them. But I get it, you're trying to find a way to heal your wounds. It's a kind of self-protection mechanism, and it's working!

On the one hand, you want to forgive them and let go of these negative emotions. On the other hand, you feel that you would be doing yourself a disservice by doing so. You feel sorry for all the hard work you put in. This conflict and contradiction makes you feel even more pain, but you know you can get through it!

But here's the good news: Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean agreeing with their behavior. Forgiveness is a choice, a decision you get to make for yourself!

You can choose to let go of these negative emotions and feel more relaxed and at ease! This doesn't mean you should indulge in such behavior, but that you should learn to protect yourself and not let these negative emotions continue to affect your life.

I totally get it. You're feeling a bit lost right now, and it's hard to see a way out of this shadow. But I know you can do it! You've got this! You're going to be absolutely fine when it comes to future teamwork.

But you must believe that every experience is an opportunity to grow! This group assignment, although it caused you great harm, also made you more clearly aware of your own value and position.

In future teamwork, you absolutely have to be more determined to stick to your own position and demands. Don't be afraid to refuse unreasonable tasks, and don't be afraid to protect your own interests.

You have every right to do so, and you have every ability to do so. At the same time, you get to choose your teammates and partners more wisely.

You deserve so much more than to trust your efforts to everyone. You need to learn to identify the people who deserve your trust and your efforts.

I can feel your tiredness and powerlessness, but I also see your strength and resilience. You have given so much, and in return, you will receive so much more.

But you must know that your value is not defined by the actions of others, but by your own heart. You have given so much, and your efforts and abilities are unquestionable. And that is something to be proud of!

These experiences, although painful, have made you more mature and stronger!

You have to believe that time will slowly dilute everything. Those painful experiences, although they cannot be erased, will gradually become blurry—and you will be so much better off for it!

You will gradually learn to let go of that anger and dissatisfaction and free your mind. This process may be long and painful, but you can get through it if you want to—and you will!

At the same time, you get to learn to protect yourself and not let past experiences affect your future life and mood. In future teamwork, you get to stand up for your own position and demands and not let others push all the tasks onto you.

You absolutely need to learn to say "no" and protect your rights! You need to know that you have the right to refuse unreasonable tasks and that you have the right to protect your time and energy.

I absolutely believe you can do it! You are a capable and valuable person who deserves better treatment and respect.

Don't let the past hold you back! Go forward boldly and seize the future! The future is long, and it's full of endless possibilities. You will meet more people and have more opportunities to show your talents and value.

I absolutely believe that you will come out of this experience stronger and more confident than ever before! You will learn how to protect yourself and stand up for your own position and demands.

You will meet more people on your journey who are worth your trust and devotion. You will use your talent and abilities to create your own value and achievements—and it's going to be amazing!

And there's more! I also want to tell you that there will always be some unhappy things in life. But these unhappy things are not meant to defeat us, they're meant to make us stronger and more mature!

Every setback and difficulty is an opportunity to grow! As long as you are willing to face it and overcome it, you will definitely become stronger and more confident!

So, don't give up on yourself! Believe in your own value and abilities!

Believe in the beauty and possibilities of the future! You deserve all the best, and you're going to get it!

Your future is going to be absolutely amazing! It'll be full of sunshine and hope!

I'll be here with you every step of the way!