Remind yourself to do your best and leave the rest to fate, but he always appears?

Hello, question asker.

Give him a warm hug.

Your confusion: "I keep telling myself to do my best and leave the rest to fate, but I still can't let go. There are only 44 days left before the exam. I have 16 subjects in the National Higher Education Self-Study Examination, and I have 6 left. I will take 4 subjects in this exam in April, and if I pass all of them, I will take the last 2 subjects in October and get my junior college diploma this year. I don't know what fate has in store for me. I work in an internet cafe now, doing front desk and cashier work. I make a little over 2,000 yuan a month, and I don't have any debts. I don't need to borrow any more money either. I still feel more at ease spending my own money. The time and years of debt are finally in the past. I feel like I've finally "gained my freedom and a new life." The problem now is that I want to study, but "he" always comes to mind. I feel a headache, a pounding head, and dizziness when I try to do problems on my phone or tablet.

I don't have the same experience when I play other apps. It's not always like this. Sometimes I don't even want to play games, and I'm not interested in TikTok. It feels like my mind is...

But "he" is unreasonable and irrational! To be honest, I really want to get rid of "him." Right now, I'm telling my heart and mind, as well as my subconscious and conscious, and every cell in my body, every bit of DNA, the entire universe, my last consciousness, alaya consciousness, and pure consciousness, to believe and know that I've completely gotten rid of "him" (whether "he" is a hallucination, a real person, or something else, I've got to "get rid of him"). I've completely gotten rid of "him"!

Or go back to the beginning of the question, give it your best shot, and let fate take over. I'm really tired.

Hello! I think you're a very motivated person. You're working while also studying for a college degree and want to improve your qualifications, which is great!

I'm also curious about who you mean by "him." Is he your ex-boyfriend?

You have a lot of history with him, so it's hard to forget him, right?

You want to study, but he always comes to mind. Is that what you mean?

Sometimes I think that if you like someone, you should just allow yourself to like them. You don't have to be together. It's enough to allow yourself to restrain yourself in your actions in terms of relationships. You can still like someone and love them. That in itself is a happy thing.

When you say you want to kill him, you mean you want to get rid of the thought of him, right? If that's the case, can you get rid of these thoughts? The years are right there, not more, not less, not increasing and not decreasing. The more you try to forget him, the more the memories stick with you.

There's a psychology experiment called the polar bear experiment. A psychologist joked with his young nephew, telling him to sit in a corner and promise not to think about polar bears for ten minutes. If he did, he would be given a big reward. Ten minutes later, his young nephew cried and said to the scientist, "Uncle, I've discovered that the more I don't think about polar bears, the more they fill my head. Isn't this a bit like what you're thinking?"

So rather than trying to stop yourself thinking about him, just let yourself think about it. He's only given himself a deadline of ten minutes a day to think about him, and then feel that he's doing pretty well, wish him well, and hope that he's doing well.

Good luck with your studies! I'm rooting for you and the world is too.

Good day. I am Bai Li Yina, the respondent to your inquiry. It is my hope that my reply will provide you with a degree of solace and assistance.

The questioner revealed that he had discarded his previous habits and felt like a new person due to rigorous effort and dedication to study. However, he also acknowledged the presence of an internal obstacle, a persistent negative voice that hindered his motivation to study and ultimately became a significant challenge. Despite his efforts, he felt a sense of exhaustion and a loss of motivation.

[Situation analysis]

The cessation of years of indebtedness through one's own exertions is a notable transformation. It evinces a commendable characterization of patience and perseverance. The condition of assiduous study and labor bestows a sense of stability. One has a prospective objective for one's future and is endeavoring to attain it. It is probable that one will obtain the certificate within the current year.

One may anticipate the gratification of reaping the rewards of one's efforts, which is, in fact, a beneficial state of mind.

It appears that you adhere to Buddhist beliefs. The Buddha posited that "all living beings are suffering," and also identified eight fundamental forms of suffering in life. These are: "birth, aging, sickness, death, unfulfilled desires, meeting with those we hate, separation from those we love, and the burning of the five skandhas." Suffering is a profoundly distressing experience. Therefore, the suffering that causes you distress is not merely your own, but is a shared human experience, manifested in different forms for each individual.

[Questions for Further Thought]

1. In the event that all of your senses indicate that you have killed him, what emotions would you expect to experience in your heart? Would these emotions be joy or doubt?

2. What factors have motivated your decision to make significant changes in your life? Have you received any support or encouragement for such a change?

This may be derived from one's own resources or from the support of family and friends.

3. In addition to your desire to study, have you ever considered the importance of adequate rest? Have you allotted sufficient time for rest?

4. If one is convinced that a particular individual is the optimal partner, and that individual does not reappear, from where does the pain originate?

It is recommended that the following methods be attempted.

1. Despite perceiving his statements as unreasonable, it is crucial to assess the actual impact of his words on you. His demeanor evokes a sense of confrontation, prompting you to contemplate the merits of pursuing your studies. This, in turn, affects your motivation. Consequently, you regard him as a source of adversity. However, it is plausible that he is merely a physical signal indicating fatigue, prompting you to take a break. His actions may not be entirely negative.

2. It is a common misconception that rest and study are mutually exclusive activities. In reality, the desire to rest often arises during study, leading to the perception that these activities are in conflict. If you were to communicate to him, "I can rest, I want to finish what I'm doing first, and then I'll listen to you and take a good rest and feel better," you would be more likely to receive a positive response. It is important to be open to his suggestions and to recognize that your mood may improve as a result.

3. It is recommended that you embrace yourself and identify methods of relaxation. Additionally, you may wish to consider the practice of meditation. When you experience fatigue, it is helpful to identify its source. It is unnecessary to resist this source; rather, it is more beneficial to understand its origin and to have faith in the idea that everything is for the best.

It is my sincere hope that the aforementioned methods will prove beneficial to you.

It should be noted that change is a gradual process that requires patience and resilience. It is important to recognize that many individuals have encountered or are currently experiencing similar challenges.

You are not alone in this endeavour. I extend my best wishes for the swift resolution of the difficulties you are currently experiencing and for the attainment of a state of optimal comfort.

I would like to express my gratitude to those who have expressed approval and provided feedback. I extend my best wishes for peace and joy.

I empathize with your current state of confusion and distress, and it is evident that a profound emotional response is affecting you profoundly. Primarily, it is imperative to underscore that your physical and mental well-being, as well as your safety, are of paramount importance.

Should you experience difficulty controlling your emotions or behavior, it is strongly recommended that you seek professional assistance from a psychologist or counselor.

In regard to your academic and professional pursuits, I acknowledge your aspiration to attain a self-taught college diploma and your current employment at an internet cafe. You have made noteworthy strides, and I commend you for your accomplishments, including becoming debt-free and maintaining consistent employment.

I empathize with your distress and anger toward the individual in question, but I strongly advise you to refrain from allowing these emotions to impede your academic pursuits and daily life.

In regard to the matter of "him," it is this author's recommendation that you pursue the assistance of a qualified professional in the field of psychology. Such a practitioner can assist you in organizing the disordered thoughts that are currently occupying your mind, and can also provide you with the necessary emotional management and treatment methods.

The initial step is to ascertain the reasons behind this individual's profound influence and to determine whether he is a tangible entity or an imaginary construct. In the event that this person is a genuine presence, it is essential to engage in a comprehensive examination of the underlying factors contributing to this significant impact.

Such factors may include the individual's character traits, the nature of interactions and relationship experiences with the individual, and the role the individual plays in the subject's life.

First, a review of the subject's interactions with the individual in question can be conducted to ascertain the specific ways in which the subject has been influenced. Has the influence been due to the subject's own emotional resonance with the individual's words and actions?

Alternatively, could it be that we have a particular emotional need for this person that causes us to devote a great deal of attention and value them? An understanding of these factors could assist us in gaining a more nuanced understanding of our emotions and needs, which in turn could facilitate more effective responses to the issues related to this person.

Subsequently, an investigation of past experiences, psychological states, and life circumstances may facilitate the identification of the root cause of the situation. It may be influenced by past experiences or the result of current psychological stress and emotional distress.

Through introspection and examination, we can gain a deeper comprehension of our inner selves, thereby enabling more precise responses and solutions to the challenges we face.

In the event that the individual in question is an imaginary entity, or if there are auditory or visual hallucinations, it is recommended that professional medical assistance be sought without delay. A psychiatrist is able to conduct a comprehensive assessment and diagnosis, assist in the comprehension of the underlying causes of the hallucinations, and provide suitable treatment options.

It is crucial to be able to identify potential mental health issues and to take the initiative to seek assistance and support.

It is recommended that individuals establish a healthy lifestyle, which includes obtaining sufficient rest, developing effective work habits, maintaining a balanced diet, and engaging in moderate exercise. These practices can collectively enhance mental well-being and emotional stability.

It is similarly crucial to cultivate a positive mindset, seek support, and establish healthy social relationships. Communication with family and friends, participation in support groups, and engagement with professional psychological counseling are all effective methods for facilitating recovery and promoting inner peace.

In regard to academic pursuits, it is advised that an individual seek a setting that is relatively tranquil and conducive to concentration. It is also recommended that a comprehensive study plan be devised, that time be allocated in a reasonable manner, and that adequate rest and sleep be ensured.

Should symptoms such as headaches or a sensation of pressure arise during the learning process, it is advised that one temporarily cease work and engage in restorative activities, such as walking or stretching.

It is of the utmost importance to address one's emotional, physical, and mental health. Seeking professional assistance is a crucial step in effectively managing the challenges one is facing and identifying solutions to overcome them.

Additionally, it is crucial to have confidence in one's abilities and recognize that with dedication and effort, one can overcome the challenges they face.

In general, the initial step towards resolving the dilemma is to identify the root cause, ascertain the veracity of the individual in question, and determine the reasons behind their impact. With the assistance of a professional, a healthy lifestyle, and a positive attitude, it is possible to gradually overcome the dilemma and embrace a healthier and calmer life.

Attain your desired objective.

Hello, I'm Zeyu, and I'm thrilled to be here!

"Tell yourself that everything is up to you and up to God, but he keeps showing up?" From the title and description, you can feel the various problems that "he" has brought us.

The question is about the author's experience of studying for a college degree and the problems he is currently facing. He wants to study, but "he" won't let him. Now we see learning as something we want to do, and "he" looks like an obstacle that prevents us from achieving our goals. From this perspective, "he" really needs to be eliminated, because it hinders our development. However, the reality is that "he" cannot be killed and will not be killed. So, what can we do? Well, first, we can recognize that "he" is just a construct of our minds. It's not real. It's just a story we tell ourselves to explain why we can't do something. Second, we can choose to believe in ourselves. We can choose to believe that we can do whatever we set our minds to. We can choose to believe that "he" is not going to get in our way. Third, we can take action. We can start studying. We can start working towards our goals. We can start doing whatever it is that we want to do. So, let's do it! Let's start studying. Let's start working towards our goals. Let's start doing whatever it is that we want to do.

The "him" in the questioner's mouth is essentially the other half of the "self" that is not yet accepted. We call this part the "bad me," and the part that wants to kill this part that wants to learn is the "good me." This also explains why "he" exists in our minds. "I think swiping questions on my phone and tablet will give me a headache, a swollen head, and dizziness."

This is why learning is such an amazing process! It requires us to spend energy and time, and even go against our nature to do it. The physical symptoms we feel are actually the result of our attention being focused on it.

Have you ever wondered why playing other apps doesn't feel the same? It's because when we're focused on an app, whether it's a game or a video, we tend to ignore the physical sensations that can help us learn. But here's the good news: if we want to change, we can do it! All we need to do is acknowledge the existence of "him." And when I say "him," I don't mean we need to give in to "him." What I mean is that we can find reasons to convince "him" to help us learn better. And secondly, we can focus our attention back on the things that need attention when learning. So let's get started!

If we feel like we don't have the heart or strength to learn, it's time to relax, adjust our state, and get back to learning! Sometimes stepping back can lead to amazing growth. And finally, it's important to celebrate our achievements and allow ourselves to slow down.

Dear Sir/Madam, My name is Wang Hao, a listening coach. I have carefully read your sharing and would like to offer my assistance. Best regards,

I am impressed by the challenges you have faced and overcome over this period, as well as your perseverance in pursuing your goals. It is encouraging to see you free yourself from debt and embark on a new financial path.

The mindset of "doing one's best and accepting the consequences," as you articulated in your correspondence, is not only a personal philosophy but also the resilience and open-mindedness we should adopt when confronted with challenges.

I empathize with your current situation. The pressure of the self-study exam, the demanding workload, and the recurring challenges posed by "him" have made your journey of knowledge more arduous. However, I want to reassure you that every effort you make will not be in vain. In 44 days, during the National Higher Education Self-Study Exam, I am confident that you will be able to utilize your strengths to overcome the remaining subjects.

You have indicated that living without debt provides you with a sense of freedom and that this is a reward that life has bestowed upon you, as well as a source of peace of mind.

With regard to the individual who is hindering your studies, it may be the case that he is a manifestation of stress, inner anxiety, or self-doubt. However, it is important to remember that you are the master of your own world and have the ability to adjust and control it. Headaches and swelling may be the body's reaction to your intense studying. It is therefore essential to ensure that you are getting sufficient rest and relaxation.

It would be beneficial to set a reasonable schedule for your study plan, combine work with rest, and engage in stress-relieving activities such as exercising, reading, or chatting with friends. This may assist you in effectively managing the situation.

You have indicated that you wish to eliminate the issue. I understand this to be an expression of your determination to resolve the problem. In fact, what you need to do is accept and address this issue, and then adjust and change the current situation through practical actions. When you firmly tell yourself that you have completely resolved the issue, you have actually achieved victory.

Please continue to hold onto your beliefs and move forward with determination and perseverance.

Ultimately, it is about doing your best and having faith in the outcome. While we cannot predict the decisions of a higher power, we can control our actions in the present. By doing so, we can maintain a clear conscience regardless of the result.

I am confident that with the right attitude, a well-structured revision plan, self-care, and a positive outlook, you will be able to achieve your goals in October. I am here to support you every step of the way.

Hello. I am a heart exploration coach, Gu Daoxi Fengshou Slender Donkey.

Learning itself is anti-human. We cannot be satisfied with immediate rewards. The questioner will feel pain, which is normal. Human beings seek the easy way out.

The questioner has arranged four courses of study in 44 days, which is a tight schedule for anyone who has experienced self-study. I have also experienced self-study myself, and I can really feel the pressure the questioner is under.

There are four exams a year, so the questioner should identify which ones are easiest to pass in April and which can be continued in July. If speed is important, the questioner should take the exam four times a year. This will also allow them to complete the plan in time.

"5% Change" says: If you have two different outlooks on life at the same time, and they point to different lifestyles, the easiest way to deal with this conflict is to let both come true at the same time. It's just that you'll work hard half the time and lie down the other half.

This will reduce the tension of the questioner.

As the saying goes, fear attracts what you fear. When emotions come, you must let them flow for a while. Just like flood control, it is better to let them flow than to block them.

The questioner should allow it to exist.

Make peace with yourself and accept yourself. You're not a robot, and inertia is inevitable. Allow yourself to rest when you need to. "5% Change" says: If there is only one day a week when you want to work, you might as well try to accept your thoughts, and then do two things: First, make the most of this 1/7 of the time and maximize efficiency; second, do other things to your heart's content for the remaining six days.

Go ahead and play with your phone if you really want to.

Try a different way of learning. If you find it hard to read on an electronic device, switch to a paper version. Pay more attention to the moment, away from electronic devices.

Do your best. Don't worry about the rest. Live in the moment and focus on what you're doing now. You won't regret it.

Break down your goals into smaller, more achievable ones. Each small goal you achieve will boost your confidence and give you positive feedback. If you have something you want to discuss on the exam, I'm ready to talk about it!

Read these books: "5% Change," "Accepting Imperfection," and "Living a Life You Don't Control."

Best wishes!

Hello! I really hope my answer can help you a little.

I just wanted to say thank you again. You are truly amazing! All that time and stress of debt is finally behind you. You have "regained your freedom" and "regained your life." This is all thanks to your own hard work. You are so impressive! Please remember your experience of success and how you can do it. This will also become your true inner strength, helping you to grow better and to cope with new challenges in life, and helping you to become the person you want to be again.

I'd love to offer you a bit of advice:

If you catch yourself thinking negatively, there's no need to suppress it or try to destroy it. Instead, allow the thought to flow, don't follow it, and take a step back to see that it's just an idea and doesn't represent the truth. You are the master of your thoughts, and you can choose which thoughts you have.

From what you've told me, it seems like "he" is a negative thought in your mind that's causing a lot of internal conflict, which is why you say you're exhausted. I know that some of those consuming thoughts can really drain our energy, and we're constantly fighting and entangling with him, which is even more draining. When it comes to this kind of negative thought, the best way to deal with it is not to try to kill him, because when you do, your attention will be drawn to him, which will make him stronger. So, deliberately suppressing him is following him, and you'll end up being controlled by him. But you need to understand that he's just an idea, and ideas aren't the truth. You don't have to follow him or agree with him, but you need to allow him to appear and let him flow freely, so that he'll naturally disappear after a while.

It's totally possible to adjust and choose your thoughts! It's important to understand that thoughts aren't you, and they can be changed. You have the power to take back control. Remember, a thought is just a thought, and your current state is a result of that thought. When you replace that thought with something else, your state will change. So, when he comes, don't be afraid and don't rush to kill him. Take a moment to understand what he's about. Once you do, tell yourself, "Now I have an idea: (write down his specific content)," and then symbolize him as a specific thing (like a sharp, hard stone). Imagine throwing this stone away, throwing it far away, and feeling the absence of "him." Then, choose a positive thought you want to have and symbolize it as a specific thing, like a sparkling night pearl. Imagine putting this night pearl into your brain and feeling the new positive thought take root. Start your life with this positive and beautiful feeling!

You can do this exercise as often as you like, and I promise you'll find it really effective! It's a great way to deal with your thoughts and take back control.

2. When it comes to "do your best and accept the consequences," it's all about focusing on the journey of trying, rather than stressing too much about the things we can't control. And guess what? When we really give it our all, the result is often pretty great!

I love your motto, "do your best and let go." It's so similar to my own, "do your best and let go." I think it's so important to focus on doing our best and then letting the result be what it is. We can only control the process of hard work, and that's something we can all do. The result is out of our hands, and there are so many factors that can affect it. If we worry about the result too much, we'll only make ourselves anxious and stressed. But we can control the process of our hard work because it's something we can do every single day. And when we do our best, we'll feel so much better about ourselves. Even if the result isn't what we expected, we can still be happy with ourselves because we gave it our all.

From my own experience, I've found that as long as you put your heart and soul into the whole process, the result will usually be pretty good! And sometimes it might even surprise you in a great way. So, don't worry too much about the result. Just prepare well and put your best foot forward!

I hope this is helpful for you! Warm regards,

In light of the situation you have outlined, it is possible that you are experiencing a form of psychological stress or anxiety that is impeding your ability to concentrate on your studies. "He" may signify a specific conflict or disturbance within you that is affecting your studies and other activities. To assist you in navigating this situation, we have provided the following suggestions:

1. **Professional assistance**: If you are experiencing persistent intrusive thoughts that are affecting your daily life, it is advisable to seek the guidance of a counselor or psychiatrist. They can assist you in understanding the source of these thoughts and provide coping strategies.

2. It is also recommended to learn and practice relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, mindfulness exercises, or progressive muscle relaxation. These techniques can help relieve stress and anxiety, which can in turn improve performance.

3. Plan study time: Allocate a specific period of time for study and avoid using your phone and other potentially distracting devices during this time.

4. Healthy habits: Maintaining healthy habits such as regular sleep and wake cycles, a balanced diet, and moderate exercise can enhance learning efficiency and overall well-being.

5. Self-Motivation: Establish learning objectives and provide yourself with incentives for achieving them. This can enhance your motivation to learn.

6. **Study environment**: Altering your study environment, such as studying in a library or quiet café, may enhance your ability to concentrate.

7. Learn in stages: Divide the learning content into smaller sections and concentrate on one section at a time. This alleviates the pressure of learning and makes the learning process more manageable.

8. Positive Thinking: Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. When you find yourself being distracted, refocus your attention on the task at hand.

9. Social support: It is beneficial to share your feelings and challenges with friends, family, or colleagues. Their support and understanding can help reduce stress.

10. Accept the status quo. Accept your current situation and recognize that change requires time and effort. Be patient with yourself and avoid self-criticism over short-term challenges.

One may attempt to adjust one's mindset by

It is recommended that you record your thoughts. Keeping a diary or writing down your thoughts can help you to identify the root cause of your feelings.

It is important to remember that seeking assistance is not a sign of weakness but rather a way to ensure your own well-being. By following the aforementioned suggestions, you can enhance your learning process, minimize distractions, and optimize your learning efficiency.

Meanwhile, maintain a positive outlook and self-belief in your ability to overcome current challenges.