Repeater, expelled from school, how to recover?

Good day, colleague. I was fortunate to review your written account, and I could discern your concerns and distress despite the digital divide. First, I would like to extend a gesture of support and commend you for your courage in seeking assistance.

It is important to note that this is not your fault, and you are also a victim in this situation.

First, consider the broader context. The homeroom teacher was often overly concerned about my situation, but I never requested his assistance. His actions only intensified my conflict with the other students.

Additionally, he consistently demonstrated proficiency in mediating disputes among his peers. In the eyes of the entire class, he was regarded as a kind but unfortunate individual.

From this description, it is evident that there are differing perceptions regarding this homeroom teacher. She appears to exude enthusiasm, though perhaps not in the desired manner. It seems that the homeroom teacher is experiencing a sense of disappointment. A significant miscommunication between adults and children is the assumption that, upon reaching adulthood, adults forget their teenage experiences.

Secondly, what are the reasons for this discrepancy?

The answer is that there are different positions to consider. The period between the ages of 12 and 18 is one in which children begin to develop a sense of self-awareness and may seek to challenge parental authority and constraints.

Children at this developmental stage have a strong sense of identity and are eager to establish their independence from their parents.

The teacher's objective is to encourage student engagement. I suspect that he probably feels that he has more experience and adult judgment than his students, and that he can help them solve problems using his own thinking and methods. However, children have grown up and have their own judgments and thinking. They need guidance, but not external control, which will only increase their resistance.

They are attempting to discern their own thought processes.

It is also important to focus on self-improvement. Effective communication is a constant necessity in any professional setting. I would like to suggest two books that I believe will be beneficial for you: "The Art of Communication" and "Meeting the Unknown Self."

This may assist you in identifying some of the answers you are seeking. Additionally, the internet is a highly developed resource that can facilitate your pursuit of self-improvement through online learning.

For instance, one might consider pursuing studies in psychology or the art of high emotional intelligence conversation.

Ultimately, it would be beneficial to seek the guidance of a professional psychological counselor.

Hello.

Host:

I am Zeng Chen, a psychometric coach. I have read the post carefully, and I know how difficult the period of dropping out of school has been for you.

The host has also shown courage in facing their inner self and seeking help on the platform. This will undoubtedly help them gain a deeper understanding of themselves, allowing them to make necessary adjustments.

Next, I will share my observations and thoughts from the post, which will help you look at the situation from a more diverse perspective.

1. Look at the teacher from multiple perspectives.

The original poster mentioned that their homeroom teacher often "worries endlessly" about them. This teacher is a very controlling person. Anything that happens in the class, such as a conflict between students, must be reported to him. He believes that we students cannot solve the problem and it will get out of hand, so we must find him [he seems to have always been proud of his ability to skillfully resolve conflicts between students].

Your keen powers of observation are evident in these comments. Many people struggle to perceive the character of their class teacher, but your abilities can help you overcome this. When you describe the teacher in this way, it's clear they lack a sense of security.

It is evident that the teacher in question lacks self-worth and does not believe in the abilities of his students. From a psychological standpoint, this is a clear manifestation of a lack of self-belief.

That's why you want to keep everything under your control. So, having read all this, I'd like to know if you've gained any new insights.

It's not just about you. There are issues with the class teacher TA as well. For instance, the TA lacks a sense of security and doesn't believe she can run your class well.

2. Express your emotions in a reasonable way.

The post revealed that after being expelled from school, I became severely depressed. Despite the passage of time since the expulsion, I still harbor hatred in my heart. We must confront this hatred in a constructive manner. From a psychological perspective, this hatred needs to be expressed in a reasonable way.

If we express it irrationally or outwardly, it will cause damage. If we express it inwardly, we will attack ourselves.

Neither of these two ways is a good choice for us. We must express this hatred in a reasonable way.

Writing is a common and reasonable way to express hatred in psychology. It allows us to listen to our emotions and organize and express them.

Expressing emotions relieves them. This makes our hearts feel better.

3. Let's define depression.

The post indicates that the poster is severely depressed. It is likely that the poster has also considered the reasons for this.

I'm going to tell you how I understand depression. This will help you to view yourself from a different perspective.

Depressed people are more prone to self-negation and self-attack.

When faced with problems, they are more likely to attribute them internally and think they are their own problem. However, we must acknowledge that depression is often related to our upbringing in early life.

The host should look back on their own growth experience and identify the factors that shaped them into who they are today. This will help them understand themselves better.

This will help you gain a better understanding of yourself. With this understanding, you will have a better chance of getting out of depression.

4. A story of self-help for a depressed person.

I read the post, which reminded me of a story in Hold on to Your Awesome Self about a depressed person saving herself. This is a psychology comic book, easy to understand. After being diagnosed with depression, the protagonist quit her job and spent the first few days lying in bed all day. She knew she couldn't go on like this, so she planned to go for a 5-kilometer run the next day.

And just the next day, she got dressed, opened the door, and took a few steps. She then felt as if all the strength in her body had been used up, but she didn't retreat.

Instead of going back to lie down, she made the decision not to make things difficult for herself. She knew she couldn't run 5 kilometers,

But she could still do something. So that day, she tidied her desk.

She found some interesting notes she had taken previously and sent a WeChat message to a good friend.

At night, she recorded these things. After she had recorded them, she felt a sense of accomplishment. She decided to do this in the future.

In the days to come, she recorded the warm moments when she basked in the sun's rays.

She recorded the new look of her house after a thorough cleaning, and the books she had read. This is how she got better. So why did she get better slowly in this story? She accepted her current self, accepted what she could not change at the moment, accepted what she could not change for the time being, and focused her energy on the parts she could change.

You can slowly accumulate a sense of achievement and strength brought about by small changes. When you have built up enough of these feelings, you will be able to face more difficult parts.

The original poster should definitely try this method. It will help you.

I am confident that these ideas will be of some help and inspiration to you. If you have any questions, you can also click to find a coach for one-on-one communication and exchange, and explore in greater depth.

Hello question asker! I'm Enoch, your answerer.

The questioner is hurt by the teacher's advice to drop out. I hug him.

The questioner thinks the teacher is controlling and always tries to avoid problems.

The teacher is also a bit of a perfectionist and narcissist. He thinks he's better than other teachers and doesn't want his students to do worse than students in other classes. He gets upset if students have problems and doesn't like being compared to others. The questioner feels hurt by being persuaded to drop out.

The teacher may try to persuade the questioner to drop out. However, this is only one way for the teacher to manage the class. The questioner and his or her parents or legal guardians have the right to choose to continue studying at school or to communicate with the school leaders to change classes. Do not give up because of setbacks in the learning process. Do not dwell on the teacher's attitude towards you. Find your own way to improve your academic performance. Seize control of your own life.

I hope the questioner will take action. It is better to continue studying. Dropping out is not the answer.