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Senior three, with more than 90 days left until the college entrance examination, what should I do when my mother is acting irrationally?

exam time online classes mock exam scores parental frustration adolescent depression
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Senior three, with more than 90 days left until the college entrance examination, what should I do when my mother is acting irrationally? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

It's exam time, I'm attending online classes, and my first mock exam scores aren't satisfactory. My mom has been holding back her frustration, but then she saw that someone else scored much higher. While I was in evening study session, she noticed the NetEase Cloud Music on my computer screen (it automatically starts up and minimizes), and I had no intention of paying attention to it. However, she immediately concluded that I was listening to music. When I tried to explain, she accused me of being stubborn and said that with such low scores in the mock exam, why even take the college entrance exam? She also commented that others scored over 500 and were already worried, while I didn't even pass 500 yet and still had the leisure to do so. When I watched educational videos on Bilibili, she said I was watching irrelevant content.

Am I not angry? I cry alone in my blankets every day, I keep my canker sores to myself, how big does my heart have to be to not be angry? My mom is extremely self-righteous. Yes, I am very grateful for her care, but I have no personal rights at all. As soon as I have any philosophical remarks, she calls me inhuman and tells me to die. She also constantly says I have no thoughts and that I don't understand life as I'm about to turn adult. Yes, my social experience may not be as high as yours, but I believe I understand life's truths as much as you do.

I really want to die, but I still have dreams... When I self-harmed, I dared not cut my artery... My mom doesn't care about adolescent depression and just says I'm melodramatic.

I am grateful for her, I have never hated her, but what should I do?

Nathaniel Nathaniel A total of 8197 people have been helped

Hello! I just wanted to give you a warm hug from afar.

I can tell you're feeling pretty frustrated, angry, and helpless right now. It's totally understandable! You just want to be understood, respected, supported, affirmed, and trusted.

The college entrance exam is coming up, and it's tough dealing with your mom's fussing, distrust, and comparisons. It's natural to feel aggrieved and hurt, but it's also important to try to understand her behavior. You deserve to be seen and understood too!

You might find it helpful to keep an emotional diary. This is just a record of all your emotional experiences in words over time. It can help you to understand your emotions better, explore the needs hidden behind them, and thus seek better ways to respond and meet your needs.

For example, when your mom says or does something that makes you feel uncomfortable or hurt, try to be brave and tell her how you feel. It's okay to feel hurt, but it's not okay to judge her actions. Let her know that her words and actions have made you feel bad.

It's so important to remember that the way we're treated affects how we treat ourselves and others. I'm sure your mother is a lovely person at heart, but she may have had an unloved childhood and may not have been treated with tenderness or given a good understanding and support. This can make it difficult for her to give herself a response and satisfaction. She may desperately long for her favorite person to be able to give her, but she's not aware of whether she can give herself that response and satisfaction. This can make her feel powerless, which is why she's asking for your help. She may be struggling to accept that you're still a child and that you're not yet capable of giving her a response and support.

Hi, I'm Lily, the little ear of the Q&A Museum. I just wanted to say that the world and I love you!

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Beatrice Knight Beatrice Knight A total of 3110 people have been helped

Hello, classmate. I can see you're feeling confused right now. I'm here to support you!

What you're going through now is related to your family situation. I'm here for you, and I'm sending you a warm hug again.

I bet your mom criticized you because she saw that the college entrance exam was in less than 90 days and you were still listening to music.

I imagine your mother thinks you should focus more on your studies.

I think your mother may be under the impression that your poor exam results are related to the fact that you always listen to music.

Given what you've shared, I want to offer you a hug again from across the screen.

I think the situation in your current home is a bit tricky. It might be worth talking to the homeroom teacher or a teacher at school.

If your high school has accommodation, they might be able to arrange for you to move in there until after the college entrance exam.

It's also a good idea for students to use the new free multi-person chat room on this platform if they need to.

Or you can get help from the school psychologist, who should be able to help you for free.

If there isn't a school counselor, you can also get help from a professional counselor.

There's a 50% discount for students on the platform's consultations. Just fill out a form and submit a school certificate for current students—you can apply right away.

I really hope you can find a good solution to the problem you're having soon.

That's all I've got for now.

I hope my answers are helpful and inspiring to you. I'm here to help, and I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, we love what we do and we love you. Best wishes!

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Comments

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Ivan Miller The more extensive one's knowledge, the more perspectives one can offer.

I understand how overwhelming and upsetting this situation must be for you. It's really tough when the people who are supposed to support us end up making us feel worse. You're doing your best in a very challenging time, and it's important to remember that everyone learns and grows at their own pace. Maybe finding a way to communicate your feelings calmly could help her see things from your perspective.

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Odell Davis Diligence is the echo that resounds through the halls of achievement.

It sounds like you're carrying a heavy burden right now, both with your studies and your relationship with your mom. I'm sorry that she's not seeing all the effort you're putting in. Sometimes parents have high expectations because they care deeply, but it doesn't mean their methods are always right. Have you thought about talking to another family member or a counselor who might be able to offer some guidance?

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Hailey Brown There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.

You're going through an incredibly hard time, and it's clear you're trying your hardest. The pressure from exams and the misunderstanding from your mom can make everything feel so much worse. Remember that it's okay to seek help. Talking to someone outside of the situation, like a school counselor or a trusted teacher, might provide some relief and advice on how to handle these difficulties.

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Justin Miller Learning is a journey that uncovers the hidden treasures of knowledge.

Feeling misunderstood by your mom while dealing with exam stress must be incredibly frustrating and painful. It's important to acknowledge your efforts and emotions. If speaking directly to her hasn't worked, perhaps writing a letter expressing your feelings could give her a chance to understand you better. Also, consider reaching out to a mental health professional; they can provide the support you need during this tough period.

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