Should I marry a destitute 50-year-old man?

Hi, I'm Strawberry.

It was meant to be a solid relationship, built on mutual respect and admiration. Now that they're on the brink of making it official, they're facing a crucial crossroads: Is this the right choice for them? This question highlights the core issue, and it's up to each individual to make the decision that aligns with their personal values and goals.

You can learn a lot about a person's character from how they behave.

The 42-year-old questioner is divorced and doesn't have any kids. He's in a good financial position. He's got a lover with a family who is seven years older than him. Even though the other person has a family, the couple has long since lost their feelings for each other and have their own relationships. They're still together because they want to give their child a "complete" family.

The questioner has been with the other person for more than three years and the relationship is going well. They both want to get married, mainly because the other person's child is about to graduate from university. At this age, the child is more open to the idea of their parents pursuing their own happiness. The other person has the idea of getting a divorce and then marrying the questioner.

The other person's wife doesn't work, has no social security, and no savings. To give his wife and daughter some security in their lives, the other person plans to leave everything he owns and take out a mortgage on his 60-square-meter house for 100,000 yuan to compensate his wife and daughter. He can make such arrangements within his abilities, and he's also a responsible and decisive person.

Who can tell me if I should marry him? He's not the wealthiest guy out there.

Nobody can predict the future, and the person who gets along with the other party is also the questioner. Only the questioner can decide whether the other party's character is worthy of trust.

Let's look at the situation from both sides. From the perspective of a bystander, the questioner thinks the other person is affectionate and loyal. But from the perspective of a partner, the questioner feels that the other person's behavior is unfair to him. Just because the other person is already 50 years old and makes about 7,000 yuan a month, and in the absence of a house or savings, there's a high probability that if they get married, they'll need to take out a loan together.

Even though the couple has lost interest in each other, they still stay married. The questioner has always had moral issues that they can't get past. They believe they're the reason the couple is divorced. Even though they know it's not meant to be, they can't give up the relationship because they get along so well.

It seems that no one has been hurt in this three-person relationship. The couple had already planned for a divorce, and the protagonist's appearance didn't cause their divorce. The protagonist waited for the right time to resolve the matter with the other party, which shows that they were willing to do so because they truly cared for each other.

☀️ It's a good idea to negotiate in advance. The other party has his own job and is only 50 years old. He still has more than ten years before retirement, and the loan will be relatively easy for him to repay based on his salary. The loan taken out before the marriage also belongs to him alone.

The questioner can negotiate with the other party in advance to see how they'll respond. If they can make proper arrangements for their wife and daughter, they won't cause the questioner any problems. The other party has enough responsibility and accountability. Otherwise, the questioner wouldn't have fallen for them and wouldn't have wanted to marry them.

It's important to understand your needs. The questioner is concerned that the other person has no home, no savings, and is about to take out a loan. They may need to rely on the questioner financially. How have you divided your expenses over the years? If you each spend your own money and can do the same after marriage, will the questioner's concerns be alleviated?

If the other party isn't willing to divorce, the questioner is willing to stay together with the other party. However, when the other party plans to divorce and marry the questioner, the questioner is troubled instead. This is because he's worried that his position in the other party's heart may not be as important as his wife and daughter. He has a good plan for his wife and daughter, but what he shows the questioner is an unstable future.

In addition to negotiating the loan in advance, everything the question owner owns is also considered premarital property. If the question owner doesn't want to do something, the other party can't force them to. It's important for the question owner to think carefully about what they really need and why they're avoiding happiness.

I hope my answer is helpful to the questioner. Best wishes!

Dear question asker,

On the one hand, you wonder if marrying a man who is not financially secure is the right choice. On the other hand, you feel a strong affection for him and that your relationship is warm and harmonious. These feelings seem to be at odds with one another, creating a sense of uncertainty.

On the surface, it seems like your main concern is financial. However, I sense that there might be some underlying doubts about this relationship. For instance, I don't have any children yet, and I'm not sure if I will in the future. How will he be able to devote himself fully to me? His children will always link him to his wife. What will I do then?

Such a situation would undoubtedly result in significant losses for both individuals and their financial assets. The practical challenges you're facing are understandable and cause for concern.

It's understandable that you miss the warm and harmonious way you used to get along and that you long for this relationship to continue. However, it's important to recognize that you are worthy of these good things and that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.

It is important to remember that everyone has the right to happiness and beauty. While your relationship may not align with some of the more traditional social concepts, it is still possible to navigate the complexities of relationships with a sense of fairness and responsibility.

You say you feel you were cheated of your money and your love. Could you please clarify where the money is and where the love is?

If you would like to get married, we can certainly draw up a prenuptial agreement that suits you. This could include, for example, not paying off the other person's loans, defining the ownership of pre-marital property, and setting out the rules for using public property money. We can also discuss the amount he is required to spend on his ex-wife and children each month. All of these things can help to protect your legitimate rights and interests.

Given that you were with him and he provided you with the companionship and emotional support you desired, it seems unlikely that there would be any question of cheating.

It is important to be aware of this kind of victim mentality in ourselves and to try not to be swept along by it. It is also important to remain rational and to believe that we can defend our own rights and interests, and that we deserve to be loved and to have a happy life.

It might be helpful to consider what we truly want. If you have financial stability, you may just want someone who can truly accompany you. It's possible that you can't expect too much in terms of financial aspects, because a healthy marriage is based on mutual independence.

If you are seeking a partner with good financial conditions, it is possible to avoid being torn between them and making necessary trade-offs.

As the saying goes, it can be beneficial to address challenging topics directly. Open communication can strengthen relationships, even if it initially feels uncomfortable. It allows you to understand your partner's needs and expectations more clearly. Through this process, you may gain insights into their motivations and values. You may also gain clarity on your own needs and expectations. This can help you make informed decisions about your relationship. It can also help you understand whether your partner's actions are driven by genuine affection or other factors.

I would like to extend my heartfelt congratulations to you on your happiness.

Hello, I am Gu Daoxi Fengshou, a heart exploration coach.

Even in close relationships, getting along with people requires providing both material and emotional value. However, nobody is perfect, and it's possible that you may have to accept both the good and the bad points of your partner. For example, if your partner is very attractive and wealthy, it may be more challenging to get along with them.

If the relationship is meant to last, it's not just about the morning and evening. You have been in a relationship for three years, so it would be helpful to know whether you are willing to maintain the relationship and wait until he has divorced and paid off the mortgage before getting married.

It might be helpful for the questioner to consider whether the positive qualities that initially attracted them to the other person are still present. If so, it would be interesting to explore whether the other person is willing to accept the shortcomings that accompany these positive qualities.

If you're still undecided, it might be helpful to get to know him better.

It might be difficult for the questioner to hear this, but it's possible that a man with feelings and a sense of responsibility may not be able to maintain two intimate relationships at the same time. The questioner may believe that the other person is a man with feelings and a sense of responsibility, but it's worth considering whether the other person has shown the same level of commitment to the questioner. If so, it might be helpful to list out the ways in which the other person has demonstrated trustworthiness and reliability.

It's not for me to say who cheated on whom first. There are different interpretations of the woman cheating first, the man cheating second, and the man cheating first and the woman cheating second. The latter could be seen as a slightly naive way of dealing with problems, while the former may lack a sense of responsibility.

It is often said that couples who are struggling financially may argue over seemingly minor issues. However, those who are relatively well-off financially may place a higher value on emotional connections. It might be helpful for the questioner to consider whether assisting the other person would significantly impact their financial situation. If the answer is no, there may be no need to be anxious. However, if the answer is yes, it might be beneficial to wait until the other person has paid off their debts or to get a prenuptial agreement notarized. This could help the questioner to understand the other person's attitude.

Ultimately, only the individual in question can truly know if a situation is right for them. While suggestions from outsiders can be helpful, they may not align with the individual's specific needs and circumstances. However, they can provide valuable insights and guidance. It can be beneficial for the individual to reflect on their personal motivations and concerns. This can help them identify the factors that make them want to be with someone and those that cause them concern. By weighing these factors and taking calculated risks, the individual can make an informed decision that aligns with their personal values and goals.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether the positive aspects of his actions towards you might outweigh your reservations about being in a relationship with him. It can be challenging to find a balance between wanting different things in life. Identifying your core values may help you feel more at ease.

Happiness is something that is cultivated, not consumed. Perhaps you could think about whether you ever expected your partner to divorce and be with you when you were together. Now that he wants a divorce and to be with you, you might want to consider why you are starting to feel uneasy again.

You may find that focusing on what you need most will help to bring you peace of mind.

You might find it helpful to read "If I Knew Before Marriage" and "The Third Option."

If you would like to continue the conversation, you are welcome to visit my homepage, Heart Exploration Coach.

I wish you the best.

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Coach Yu, and I would like to discuss this topic with you today.

Let us begin by discussing relationships and the self.

In "The Terrific Me," Chen Hai-xian posits that individuals are engaged in relationships on a continual basis, and that these relationships shape our self-perception. Rather than our inherent personality traits, the relationships we are in often dictate our thoughts and actions. From this perspective, the dimensions of our thinking may undergo significant transformation.

The question posed in the article is whether it would be advisable to marry a 50-year-old man who is financially unstable.

One might inquire as to the role they play in the current relationship. For example, one might consider the role of a divorced, childless middle-aged woman in a relationship with a married man seven years her senior whose daughter-in-law has been unfaithful to him.

What role will I play in the prospective marriage relationship? I am a wife with a house, a car, savings, and a stable job. My husband is a man with no house, no savings, and who needs me to help him pay the mortgage.

Additionally, it is important to consider one's own expectations and desires in a relationship. Apart from good health, individuals seek harmonious relationships and warm companionship.

It is also important to consider the desires of the other person. Even if one must forsake one's current circumstances, it is still possible to choose to remain with the other person after a divorce.

Additionally, one might inquire as to the position and role they ascribe to themselves in contemplating a potential marriage to the individual in question. Do they accept this position and role?

What kind of position and role is it that I am reluctant to accept? Do I accept this position and role?

If one's actions are incongruent with one's desired behaviors, it is not a personal issue, but rather a problem within the relationship. By understanding one's needs from the perspective of the relationship, one can also address issues from the relationship's standpoint.

One might attempt to communicate with the other person once, address the relationship, discuss the relationship, express one's thoughts honestly, listen to the other person's thoughts carefully, acknowledge the current situation between each other, and communicate not to change the other person, but to understand each other and unlock more possibilities, while also releasing one's pent-up emotions.

Furthermore, it is essential to cultivate self-love.

The decision to marry is not contingent on the current relationship; rather, it is a function of each individual's state of mind. In accordance with the principle of separating issues, a voluntary and spontaneous choice represents the optimal outcome of a healthy relationship.

It is acceptable to request assistance when confronted with a challenging situation, particularly when the task at hand is perceived as being beyond one's immediate capabilities. Seeking the guidance of a trusted family member or friend who has consistently demonstrated positive support is a viable option. In the event that such a solution is not feasible, it is advisable to consult with a qualified counselor. Emotional release through professional guidance can facilitate the alleviation of distress and the resolution of internal obstacles.

It is also imperative to empower oneself, as any change originates from within. One may engage in activities such as immersing oneself in nature, listening to the sounds of frogs, inhaling the scents of flowers and birds, and appreciating the beauty of life, while simultaneously releasing any concerns. It is essential to maintain an open and receptive mindset, as this allows for the freedom to make informed choices.

It is recommended that the reader peruse the book Amazing Me.

Dear Sir/Madam, I have read your description and I understand that this question is somewhat complex, with a number of potential responses.

From the perspective of personal values, it would have been inadvisable to enter into a relationship with this individual three years ago, given that he was already married. While this may not be a significant concern for you, it is important to avoid using the fact that his wife is also unfaithful and that their marriage is tenuous for the sake of their children as an excuse to justify your own actions. Ultimately, honesty and openness are the most crucial factors.

The institution of marriage is often inextricably linked with emotional and economic considerations. However, emotions are inherently subjective, and it is challenging to establish a unified standard that can be universally applied to the diverse nuances of the economy. From your description, it appears that you have already integrated emotional and economic factors. In my assessment, the transactional aspects of the decision outweigh the emotional considerations. Therefore, it is prudent to set aside values and emotional considerations for the time being. If you were my client, I would conduct an analysis with the primary objective of protecting your interests.

The fundamental premise is to ascertain one's needs and the extent to which one is willing to pursue them. It is essential to determine how to reconcile short-term and long-term needs and sacrifices. Furthermore, it is crucial to identify potential risks and strategies to mitigate them.

1. From a needs perspective, a divorced single woman in her 40s has normal physical and mental needs that are reasonable. There are many ways to satisfy these needs. For example, three years ago, she could have used a dating platform to find a suitable single man. Of course, she can still choose this route now, but after three years of dating, there is an opportunity cost. She must decide whether to give up the three years of silence or to bear the cost of repaying the mortgage. This is a matter of perspective.

Should one choose to continue a relationship with a current partner, there are two potential avenues: marriage or maintaining the status quo as a lover. Each presents distinct advantages and considerations. Marriage, for instance, can offer exclusivity, along with rights, obligations, responsibilities, and related economic benefits. This is an additional option to consider.

2. From the perspective of short-term and long-term benefits, a romantic relationship satisfies short-term needs and interests. One day, if the individual in question no longer satisfies the needs of the other party, the relationship can be terminated without any moral or legal constraints. Marriage, on the other hand, takes into account more long-term needs and interests. To what extent is it believed that the individual will not be very dissatisfied with their partner in the future and want to end the marriage? Are the financial losses that would result from such a decision to be accepted?

Furthermore, his current physical condition will undoubtedly diverge from its state in 15 or 20 years. Are you prepared to provide care for him after 20 years? Have you considered your mental preparedness for such a scenario?

3. From a risk perspective, the following theoretical possible risks will be enumerated, and methods of avoidance will be proposed should one choose to enter into matrimony.

It is possible that he does not intend to truly separate from his original wife; rather, his goal may be to extract money, including the 100,000 yuan and possibly more of your property. Should you choose to get married, you may wish to consider a prenuptial property settlement and an agreement regarding post-marital financial expenses. You may wish to verbally agree to share the loan, but it should not become an obligation.

Your perception is that you were divorced because of him, which has led you to accept the possibility of being "cheated both financially and sexually" as a rationale for your own peace of mind. However, it cannot be said that you have been financially or sexually cheated, as the relationship was ultimately a transaction to meet each other's needs. Nevertheless, this perception itself carries inherent risks. As adults, both parties have the autonomy to make their own choices, and your partner's decision to be with you was his own. Even if you are not present, someone else might emerge in his life, which has nothing to do with you.

A mentality of guilt represents an inherent risk. It is imperative that each individual assumes responsibility for their own decisions.

"However, there is a great deal of affection between us. He has promised to be faithful to me for the remainder of his life, and I am confident in his sincerity." In some cases, a lack of belief can prevent one from fully committing themselves emotionally, resulting in a lack of satisfaction. Believing, however, comes at a cost. If the future deviates from one's beliefs, even if it is a relatively minor deviation, and not to mention scams, one may feel that it is not worth it because of the discrepancy.

"The past three years we've been together have been characterized by a high degree of warmth and harmony." In the absence of a marital relationship, expectations are relatively low, which may contribute to the perception of warmth and harmony. However, once a couple enters into marriage, expectations tend to shift for both parties, and it is challenging to ascertain whether the current experience will ultimately prove as challenging as it currently seems.

It is imperative to gain a clear understanding of the underlying causes of the previous marriage's failure if one aspires to have a positive marital experience. In the absence of such awareness, the outlook is disconcerting. To illustrate, in this particular case, the husband is the sole breadwinner, while his wife, despite her lack of financial contribution, engages in infidelity. What, then, are the underlying factors that contribute to this dynamic?

The aforementioned framework is merely a logical apparatus for the analysis of problems. One may also consider the emotional implications of the framework. It is hoped that this will prove helpful.

Prior to entering into marriage, individuals tend to experience positive sentiments such as warmth and romance, as well as a perception of romantic poetry in the distance. However, upon entering into marriage, individuals often encounter the reality of the situation, including economic pressures and responsibilities. They may also recognize their own sacrifices and the tangible necessities, such as oil, salt, soy sauce, tea, and other items, that are required for daily life. When individuals are in a romantic relationship, they often experience passion and freedom. However, when they have children, they may begin to experience the binding of mutual responsibility.

You have previously been married, so you have some experience in this area. You do not currently have any children, but you can also gain insight into the experience of being a parent by observing how the man's daughter influences his behavior.

Please indicate whether you are prepared to proceed.

It is evident that you are not financially prepared for marriage.

With all due respect, based on the information provided, it is likely that your opinion of this individual will change in the future. The use of terms such as "old man" and "poor man" makes it challenging to perceive your level of affection for him, and it is evident that your current feelings are not entirely positive.

While you have reflected on the positive aspects of the past three years, it is important to recognise that this period was characterised by a lack of responsibilities, constraints and financial pressures.

Should you consider getting married? What about having children?

It is important to note that everything changes when considering marriage after a divorce and infidelity. There are many factors to consider, and the transition can be challenging. The environment in which the two individuals face has changed significantly, and the transformation of their identities and circumstances can lead to maladaptation and internal turmoil.

As an external party, we are unable to advise you on the merits of marriage. We are merely highlighting the key considerations, and the final decision rests with you.

Should you decide to remarry this individual, it is essential to be prepared to weather any potential challenges together. If you have concerns about protecting your assets and have a prenuptial agreement in place, it is crucial to anticipate the possibility of a rift in the relationship and the potential for circumstances to differ from what they were before.

As adults, it is reasonable to expect that each party will be responsible for their own property following the dissolution of the marriage. If the former spouse is unable or unwilling to understand this, it may indicate a double standard and a lack of character.

If you are not yet mentally prepared, it would be advisable to refrain from making a hasty decision. Instead, it may be more beneficial to live together as a trial period to see if marriage is a viable option. If the relationship proves to be successful, you can continue together; however, if the relationship gradually deteriorates and you no longer wish to be together, you can end the marriage. A smooth separation is preferable to a difficult reunion. If the relationship continues to flourish, there is no need to end it. This could be the optimal outcome for both parties. While it may appear to be a casual relationship, it is actually the most comfortable and carefree.

Regarding the issue of retribution that you have raised, I can appreciate your concern and I am unsure how to reassure you. I can only say that cause and effect are inherent in this world and that you are already experiencing the consequences of your actions.

The confusion you are currently experiencing is a direct result of the decisions you have made in the past. In order to accept the future outcomes, which you have the ability to influence, you must exercise caution and thoughtfulness in all your actions, ensuring that you do not regret your decisions in the future.

It would be unwise to make a decision to get married or to break up right away. A hasty decision will only lead to further regret in the future. The best course of action would be to be well prepared in every aspect and then make a decision that you are willing to accept as the possible outcome in the future.

I hope you will soon be able to resolve the issues you are currently facing. Best regards,

I wish you the best of luck!

Hello! I know this is a tough situation, and I just want to say that deciding whether or not to marry this man is a very personal choice that requires a lot of thought.

I can see that you're really struggling with this. I can understand why you'd want to marry this man, but I don't think that's the right thing to do. You played a part in the breakdown of his family, but you're not the only one.

I think the reason he's got some emotional ties with you outside the family is because he's got problems with his wife in the family. Maybe there was an emotional rift many years ago. Any relationship is a two-way street, and it's down to both of you to make it work.

You were lucky to be there when you were, you needed a relationship, and he gave it to you. You responded to him, and I think at the beginning you may have struggled. You didn't want to destroy someone's family as a third party, and I can understand why.

It's so important to remember that all three of you have played a part in the breakdown of the family. You don't have to take on all of the blame.

Next, let's talk about whether you want to get married!

From a realistic point of view, his financial situation is a bit more challenging than yours, which might bring some extra stress to your future. And his family situation is pretty complicated, with lots of emotional and responsibility issues.

It might be a good idea to think about how you'll get along with his kids. And if he's still close with his ex, that's something you'll need to figure out too.

The three years you've been together are also a big part of the picture. You have a strong emotional connection, but it's important to remember that emotions can't always solve everything.

It's great that he's handling his ex-wife with responsibility, but from your perspective, there is a lack of financial security. It's so important to weigh your own interests and future development.

If you decide to stay with him, you may want to work out a financial plan together to make sure you're spending and saving in a way that works for you both. It's also a good idea to think about how you're going to repay his loans.

It's a great idea to sit down together and talk about your shared life goals, like whether you want to buy a home or save for retirement. Then you can work as a team to achieve them!

It's really helpful to have a good understanding of what you both want in terms of finances and lifestyle. Having a clear idea of what you both find acceptable is a great way to avoid any misunderstandings.

It's so important to remember that, no matter what your relationship is like, you need to take care of yourself too! Don't just give to the other person and neglect your own needs and feelings.

It's also a great idea to chat with him openly and talk about your future plans and any potential hiccups together.

For instance, family integration is a process that takes time. It's natural to expect everything to be perfect right away, but it's important to remember that even if you're living together because of love, you still need to get used to each other. Being in close proximity and seeing each other every day will make you more aware of each other's shortcomings and strengths. Having different living habits and differences, you need to give each other enough time and space to adapt to the new family structure.

Dealing with family issues requires more patience and understanding. We all have our own emotions and positions, and reorganizing the family may lead to more complicated relationships. Try to face and solve problems with a calm mind. You've got this!

It's okay to take your time and not rush into making decisions. When you encounter important issues, just give yourself some space to calm down and think.

We all have different situations, and you can think about what's best for you based on your own circumstances. If you need more specific help or advice, you can also think about family counseling.

It's so important to remember that whatever decision you make, you're the one who has to live with it. It's also really helpful to think about what might happen as a result. The most important thing is to make sure you're not putting yourself in a situation that's unfair or unstable.

Dear Questioner, I empathize with the emotional and moral quandary you are grappling with. However, this conundrum encompasses a multitude of intricate elements, including emotions, morals, economics, and future planning. In response to your query, I proffer the following counsel:

Emotional considerations: A profound emotional bond exists between the two of you, which is a significant factor. However, it is also essential to take into account the circumstances of his family, particularly his relationship with his former spouse and daughter.

It is essential to ascertain whether he has fully resolved his issues with his former spouse and whether his daughter accepts you. These factors must be taken into account.

Financial considerations: The subject is in a superior financial position to the object, and the object's current financial situation is suboptimal. The subject must consider whether they can accept the object's financial situation and are willing to share the financial burden with them in the future.

Should marriage result in the assumption of a mortgage, it would be prudent to consider whether this would have an impact on the couple's lifestyle.

Moral considerations include the fact that the man is still married, which raises questions about the moral acceptability of the relationship. Additionally, there is a need to consider whether his decision will cause harm to his ex-wife and daughter.

In light of the aforementioned considerations, it is recommended that you adopt a more tranquil demeanor and engage in a period of contemplation regarding your relationship and future aspirations. The following suggestions are offered for your consideration:

It is essential to communicate openly with him about your thoughts and concerns in order to ascertain his understanding of your position and to determine whether he can offer solutions.

It is essential to consider future plans together. These should include an economic plan and a life plan. It is also important to evaluate whether the prospective economic situation and lifestyle are compatible with your needs and expectations.

It is imperative to engage in a thorough and reflective process when contemplating marriage. This significant life decision warrants meticulous consideration, as it entails a commitment to a lifelong partnership. It is essential to assess one's suitability for marriage and to evaluate one's capacity to navigate the potential challenges that may arise in the future.

Ultimately, regardless of the decision reached, it is imperative to respect one's feelings and needs. If the individual in question is deemed worthy of lifelong commitment and the potential future plans and challenges have been thoroughly contemplated, the decision is at the discretion of the individual in question.

Nevertheless, if there is a concern that this individual may potentially become a financial or emotional burden, it is imperative to undertake a comprehensive assessment of whether it would be advisable to terminate the relationship.

Hello, question asker!

After reading your question, I can tell you're distressed. After three years together, you should have longed to come together from time to time. Now that it seems to be about to come true, your heart is full of conflict. This is called homesickness, and it tortures people. It's worrying to advance or retreat. Hugs!

You have doubts, and that's normal. In fact, it's beneficial. Use this opportunity to ask yourself what's in your heart and think more deeply.

You're wrong. It's better to think things through before you move in together.

Now that you've reflected on this, it's clear that you need to take a serious look inside and ask yourself if this is really what you want. As you said, see if you can be completely willing after some thought.

From what you've told me, you're 42, you have a car and a house, you're divorced and don't have kids. But what about him? He's seven years older than you, he's giving up everything, and there's a chance he still has a mortgage. You're going to have to be really tolerant to make your future married life better.

You need to believe in yourself. Your doubts are holding you back. You need to be confident in your ability to love and be loved. Don't worry about money or age. If you let go of your doubts, life will get better.

You're right. He'll be poor forever. The probability of starting a business and making a fortune at his age is low. So, ask yourself: What are your expectations of him? I'm talking about the chance of getting rich and living a happier life at the end of the month.

If you want to make your life happy and real, you must not let this emotion rise up in your heart. He is cheating for money and sex, and you are a jinx who will suffer retribution. You must not treat yourself this way.

You also said his ex-wife cheated, and their marriage wasn't harmonious. You've been together three years, and he's willing to make up for the rest of his life. Outsiders see him as supporting his wife and daughter with the mortgage, and he approves. You're together, and it's reasonable.

The above is some of the content I have seen within the scope of my knowledge and experience. I am certain it will be helpful to you. Anyway, don't worry if you can't make a decision in a day or two. Think about it more, take more advice from the big shots, and follow your heart to fight for your future life.

You can absolutely make your life better and better with your own wisdom. The world and I love you, so go for it!

This is a challenging issue to navigate, particularly when it comes to determining the right or wrong answer. Ultimately, it comes down to the questioner's willingness to proceed. If the questioner feels at peace with themselves and has no reservations, then they can choose to marry him.

Naturally, if that were the case, the questioner would not have come here to post for help. Therefore, I believe the questioner's reason for coming here to post for help is not just a matter of whether it is worthwhile or not, but more of an inner unease.

From an objective standpoint, engaging in an affair with the questioner without divorcing his wife is already in violation of the marriage law and social morality. It is also irresponsible to one's family and to the questioner. The questioner may argue that his wife initiated the infidelity, which gives him the right to do the same. However, cheating itself is a form of "betrayal" of the marriage and an abuse of the marriage law and human morality. It is not understood, recognized, or accepted by society. Regardless of the circumstances, cheating is not an appropriate way to solve the problem.

If you feel that there may be an issue in your relationship, you could consider having a constructive conversation about it. If the conversation goes well, you may be able to identify areas for improvement and work towards a more harmonious coexistence. If the conversation does not go as planned, you could respectfully part ways in a way that is mutually agreeable.

The other person's wife may have engaged in some behavior that could be perceived as inappropriate, and the other person's actions could also be seen as less than ideal.

The questioner has many options for dating someone who is divorced and single. However, the questioner has chosen such a man with a family as his "lover," which is very intriguing. The questioner has a house, a car, savings, and a stable job. With such good conditions, it would seem that he could have chosen to date a single man and get together to have an honest relationship. However, he chose such a man with whom he cannot be honest.

Perhaps this is a question that the questioner needs to reflect on for themselves.

From a psychological perspective, it seems that the choice the questioner has made is based on their internal needs. As the questioner mentioned, they have everything they want, while the other person has nothing. The conditions between the two people are quite different.

It is possible that this is what gives the questioner a sense of superiority, allowing them to control and dominate the other person and satisfy the questioner's psychological needs. However, it seems that these needs have little to do with marriage, so now that the two of them are getting married, the questioner is instead torn and unable to make up their mind.

I believe that the questioner would benefit from speaking with a counselor. Two sessions with a counselor could help the questioner gain clarity on their inner needs and thoughts. This could assist the questioner in making an informed decision about whether or not to marry the other person. These are personal opinions for the questioner's consideration.

Hello! I can see you're a little confused, but I'm here to help! You're asking yourself: should I marry a 50-year-old man who is broke?

I have read your description in detail, and as an outsider, I probably know what you are thinking. Then let me slowly explain to you whether you should marry him or not. This is your personal choice, and the final decision is in your hands.

First, you describe him as poor (very poor), and second, you use the term elderly (usually I call an older man if I don't like him, even if he is not that old). You also doubt yourself: you were cheated of money and love, and you are suffering the consequences.

Of course, whatever you think is just a product of your own mind. You have not completely ruled out the other person, thinking that he still has feelings for his ex-wife, and that the three years you spent together were warm and harmonious. This is also your feeling, and it's a good one!

So you have to weigh the pros and cons, because at your age, it's not very rational to completely believe in love. And since your financial situation is better than the other person's, then you have to think about whether you are willing to spend the rest of your life with him? Whether you won't regret it in the future.

I really hope this helps! Ultimately, you have to follow your heart, no matter what you decide.

Hello. I can see that you're currently feeling pretty confused, lost, and overwhelmed, and are full of fear for the future. You both hope to be happy in the future, but also fear being hurt again.

Given the investment you've made in this relationship and the pain you've endured, it's understandable that you're experiencing distress.

You called him a pauper, which is pretty distasteful. How could you possibly marry him willingly? If you're reluctant, you might as well ask yourself, is this marriage a must?

When looking for a partner, it's always good to have a clear idea of what you're looking for. Think about what it is about him that you like and want.

If you can accept this, it shows that you really like this man. I still suggest that you think carefully about it, though. After all, you two are not a normal couple, and there will inevitably be some problems in the future. He doesn't treat you well financially, but he is willing to leave everything behind, which is a kind of responsibility. And there is also his ex-wife and a daughter between the two of you, which may become involved in the future. So I suggest that you think carefully about it.

Your ex-wife and daughter will become a major obstacle between you two. It might not seem like it now, but it could cause you a lot of trouble down the road. If you really want to be with him, you don't have to be so pessimistic. You two might not be a normal couple, but as long as you can support and care for each other, it might not be a bad thing.

If you're set on keeping this relationship, give it another shot. If you think you'll be happy in the long run, then go for it. Know yourself, figure out what you want, and then make a decision.

I hope you find peace and happiness for the rest of your life.

Greetings.

After reviewing your account, I am able to comprehend your sentiments.

In your initial inquiry, you posed the question, "Should I marry a 50-year-old man who is poor to the last penny?" This prompts an examination of the institution of marriage as a social tradition.

Similarly, the advent of modernity has brought about a transformation in the institution of marriage, giving rise to a multitude of challenges. From the vantage point of contemporary marriage, the crucial factor is the ability to foster a sense of security within the relationship. This quality, in itself, serves as a determining factor in the suitability of a prospective spouse.

Furthermore, ancient marriages placed a greater emphasis on fidelity, which is also a kind of yearning that modern people have for ancient marriages. However, the times are changing rapidly, information is transmitted very quickly, and people's values change very quickly. What is needed at this moment will be replaced by something else the next moment.

From the perspective of marriage, it is necessary to make one's own decision. While age is not a significant obstacle to marriage, the combination of age and poverty is a factor that should be taken into account. I recall a saying from the movie If You Are the One, which refers to stock ownership as a form of gambling.

Furthermore, the notion that marriage is a contract based on economic foundations is a realistic one, as evidenced by the following quote from "The Locked Room": "Marriage is a contract based on economic foundations." This concept is a significant challenge for many individuals in the modern era.

Secondly, your description states that you are 42 years of age, divorced, without children, the proprietor of a house and a car, in possession of savings, a stable occupation (your financial situation is superior to his), in a relationship with a partner, the man is married (his wife is also unfaithful and is merely maintaining the marriage for the sake of the children), seven years your senior, together for three years and have fallen in love, wish to marry again. From this description, it can be surmised that you and your partner are both older individuals entering into matrimony, and it is a common practice to choose to marry. You are divorced and have the right to seek marriage, but your partner currently has a family. From a behavioural perspective, such an individual is not worthy of being chosen. Furthermore, both the husband and wife have committed infidelity, which can be used as an excuse for the sake of the children.

Another perspective to consider is whether concerns about the marriage persist in the face of the other person's current financial situation and lack of work. To better understand this issue, it is helpful to put oneself in the other person's shoes. This allows for a more nuanced view of the situation and a better understanding of the underlying values and needs involved. In this case, the individual may be seeking a more spiritual and perhaps also a more physical nature.

Such fulfillment can only be provided by a romantic partner; if the relationship is a marriage, it may not be possible to attain it.

In your description, you wrote that "This man plans to leave the house empty-handed. I accepted." His daughter is about to graduate from college, and he plans to take out a 100,000 yuan mortgage on the house to compensate his wife and daughter. From an outsider's perspective, he appears to be a good man with feelings and a sense of responsibility. He can still settle his wife and daughter so well after the divorce, but it is unfair to you. He is 50 years old. Apart from having a healthy body and a job that earns money (7,000 yuan a month), he has no house and no savings. We will have to pay off his mortgage after we get married. If it were not for you, he would not have divorced. Are you a jinx who destroys other people's families? Should you leave him? Leave him immediately? It is important to note that any verbal description is only imaginary and may not reflect reality. Even if it seems to describe true behavior, it may not be a reliable indicator of future events.

It is important to remember that the future is uncertain and that one cannot predict what will happen in the next moment. Additionally, it is crucial to avoid the perception that one is causing harm to another person's family. Even if there has been a mistake, it is not one's own fault. After all, one has already become single again and has the right to choose a partner. The other party is the one who is at fault for being married.

This is contingent upon the veracity of the assertion that the divorce was the result of coercion on your part.

It is recommended that the following suggestions be considered:

1. Based on the information provided, it can be reasonably inferred that the decision is ultimately yours to make. However, given the circumstances, it would be prudent to engage in further reflection and consideration.

2. Based on the information provided, it can be inferred that the other party will be leaving behind their assets, while you will retain your house and car. In the event that you wish to proceed with marriage, it would be advisable to obtain a prenuptial property notarization.

3. You have alluded to the fact that you have not yet had children. Therefore, it would be prudent to consider the potential implications of real estate in the context of your future plans. If you do not have children, it is likely that you will not require a loan.

4. It is likely that his divorce is being used as a means of maintaining the relationship.

The aforementioned information is provided for reference only.

Hello question asker. I'm Evan, a counselor.

From the questioner's description, I can tell there's a conflict and reluctance. We often have doubts in intimate relationships: is this love or an intimate relationship?

We all have different needs in relationships. Does this relationship meet yours? You need to know.

Sometimes a marriage is based on emotional bonds. Without them, it is easy for a marriage to end. Perhaps the questioner sees her boyfriend as affectionate and loyal to his ex-wife and children. However, he has ignored the feelings of the questioner.

This may be why the author is questioning the relationship. The author is also anxious about the future.

We can't give you a definitive answer about your relationship. Since you asked your question on the platform, we can't discuss it in depth. We can only give you some personal opinions here to help you clarify your thoughts.

The questioner said she has a strong emotional connection with her boyfriend, which is important in marriage. But marriage also needs to be based on reality.

The questioner said your finances are better than his. He plans to take out a loan to support his wife and daughter. This could affect the questioner's finances long-term.

The questioner needs to think about if you can handle these financial pressures.

Communication and honesty: Talk with your partner about your future plans, including money and family. Find out what he wants and if you agree.

What do you want your future life to be like? Will the questioner support him and his daughter?

Do you have the same goals and plans? Talk about this with your partner.

Financial independence and security: Make sure you have enough money to live on even if things get tough. Also, think about your income and spending and make sure you have enough money to deal with any risks.

The questioner mentioned his ex-wife and daughter, which may affect your future. Make sure you both understand the past marriage and have dealt with the relevant issues.

The questioner said the man's marriage already had problems. But intervening in someone else's marriage is always a sensitive issue. Make sure their separation is because they have no hope of solving their own problems.

Also, think about how society and family will affect your future.

Consider whether the relationship can support the author's personal growth and satisfaction. Marriage is about more than just money.

The main thing to think about is whether both people in this relationship are happy. If only one person is, it's not fair to the other.

Seek professional advice before making a decision. A professional psychologist can help you understand what you want in an intimate relationship.

Knowing what you want is key to moving forward or backing off in this relationship.

Listen to your inner voice. Deciding whether to remarry should be based on your thoughts and feelings, as well as your quality of life and future happiness.

Ask yourself, what do you want? Are you willing to pay for this relationship?

Don't rush. Take time to think about your feelings and needs, and how the relationship affects you.

No one can tell you whether you should marry someone or not. It depends on you. Please make sure your decision is based on your true thoughts and needs.

I hope this helps.

Hello, question asker! Thank you for asking your question and being willing to share your problem.

First of all, I can tell you're deeply entangled and doubtful about this relationship. This is a complicated issue because it involves many aspects, including emotional, financial, moral, and future planning.

I'm going to give you my views and suggestions, which I'm sure will help you make up your mind.

You and this man have a strong emotional foundation, and the three years you have spent together have been full of warmth and harmony. This kind of intimate relationship is not easy to establish, so it is an important factor that you need to consider carefully.

However, you must consider that relationships are not the only thing in life. Financial status and future life plans are equally important.

You are in a financially secure position, while the man has few assets apart from his monthly salary of 7,000 yuan. After marriage, you will undoubtedly be responsible for some or all of the financial burden of the family, including helping him repay his loans.

This will impact your finances, so you must decide if you can handle it.

From a moral perspective, this man already has a family. His relationship with his wife is defunct in name only, but their marital bond still exists. You may feel the moral pressure of "destroying someone else's family," but you need to be prepared for this.

You must consider whether this man can meet your expectations of married life. He is older than you and has children to care for, which will undoubtedly affect the quality of your future life and plans.

You must consider these factors carefully and decide if you can accept and adapt to such a life.

You must consider all factors when deciding whether to marry this man. If you believe he is trustworthy and your relationship can overcome future challenges, you may choose to be with him.

You must also be prepared for the financial pressures, moral pressures, and future planning challenges you may face.

Ultimately, you must make this decision for yourself. Do not harm others or destroy their families. At the same time, respect the feelings and rights of others.

You will make the right decision for you.