Since childhood, enduring or resisting mockery and humiliation—what is more advantageous?

Hello! I'm sending you a warm hug from afar.

I can see how being disrespected, misunderstood, and rejected from a young age has caused you to feel strongly rejected, unwanted, excluded, and isolated.

From your description, it is evident that you have chosen to suppress and hide your true emotions when faced with being hurt. Instead of bravely and sincerely expressing your true feelings and how you want to be treated, you have chosen to hide them.

There is a psychological viewpoint that says, in relationships, no matter how others treat you, you teach them how to treat you. This means that how you treat yourself is how others treat you. This may seem cruel, but it's true. When you can let go of these painful and uncomfortable feelings and become aware of your own responses when faced with being hurt, you will discover that the harm done to you by others is something you have allowed. The first time you feel hurt, you can say "no" firmly but kindly. This makes the other person clearly aware that his words and actions have hurt you and that he needs to stop treating you in this way. It also sets a boundary for self-protection in your relationship. You cannot be treated casually, and you deserve to be treated well by others.

You must first be aware of your inner emotions and needs. Keep a mood diary to record your emotions. This will help you become aware of, experience, and feel your emotions. It will also help you sort through your emotions and explore the hidden needs behind them. This will allow you to respond to your needs in a more appropriate way.

At the same time, you need to learn to accept yourself and build self-confidence. Make a list of your strengths and weaknesses. Then, focus on your strengths and work on your weaknesses.

Keep a gratitude journal to cultivate self-confidence and enhance your sense of self-worth.

When you accept yourself fully from the inside out and believe you deserve to be treated well by yourself and others, you will be true to yourself in relationships, respect your true feelings, and be brave enough to express your true feelings and needs, especially when the words and actions of others make you feel uncomfortable and hurt.

I am here to support you and help in any way I can!

The world and I love you!

Good day. I extend my utmost support and encouragement in this moment.

The issue you've described is straightforward, yet I can appreciate the distress, frustration, and disillusionment conveyed in your words. Allow me to extend a supportive gesture in the form of a 360-degree embrace.

You have indicated that you experienced humiliation and ridicule during your childhood, and that you currently find yourself in a situation where you are still in proximity to those who humiliated and ridiculed you at that time. You are uncertain as to whether you should endure this situation or take action to rebel against it.

You may even consider taking your own life.

These are indeed some potential solutions to the problem, but it is important to note that they may lead to other challenges in the future.

As an example, tolerating the situation should help you to reconcile with it and reduce the internal conflict. This appears to be the method you are using to deal with it.

What about resistance? Unless you can immediately neutralize the other party and emerge victorious with a single action, you may face even stronger pressure from the other party.

Suicide is a quick and easy way out, but life is long, and it's normal to encounter a few difficult individuals. If you give up on people who will care about you in the future just because of a few individuals who have caused you problems, it may not be the most prudent decision. Alternatively, you may not have fully utilized the potential of these relationships.

Have you considered an alternative solution, such as disengaging from the situation and ignoring the other party? When you do not respond, it is akin to making an ineffective gesture or acting without consequence. Over time, the other party will likely cease their actions.

For a relationship to be successful, it requires the input of two individuals. Without this input, it is not possible to establish a stable and beneficial relationship.

You may also choose to employ a mental victory method. For example, ignoring the situation may be perceived as belittling, and so on. You may find it helpful to learn from Ah Q.

Another option for ending the suffering is to improve oneself, leave the current environment, and seek a different one. This could entail moving to a better company or even a bigger city.

You may wish to consider speaking with a counselor. I frequently experience periods of depression, but I am also capable of motivation on occasion. I have a great deal of affection for the world and for you.