Social anxiety disorder, feeling afraid and having poor interpersonal relationships, what should I do?

Good day, young lady. I perceive your current state of confusion, and I offer you a comforting embrace.

The current situation can be described as an interpersonal problem. A further expression of support is offered in the form of a warm embrace.

First and foremost, it is imperative that you cease self-labelling as "socially anxious."

Please explain why you believe that not many people in your immediate vicinity are supportive of your position.

Has a negative experience in interpersonal relationships previously occurred?

Such experiences must be confronted and addressed.

Otherwise, the adverse experience will not dissipate, but rather persist in some form.

Such experiences are merely repressed and stored in the subconscious.

In the event of a subsequent encounter with the same individual, object, or circumstance, the adverse experience will be reactivated.

In light of these considerations, it is pertinent to inquire of the young lady what her next steps might be.

It is recommended that you seek assistance from the school psychologist, who can address the adverse experiences you have had in previous interpersonal relationships.

It is the responsibility of the school counselor to provide students with free services.

In the event that a school psychologist is not available at your educational institution, you may alternatively seek assistance from a qualified professional counselor.

A 50% discount is available for students on the platform's consultation fees. To take advantage of this offer, simply complete the requisite form and submit a school certificate indicating your current student status.

It is possible that I have previously addressed your difficulties, and as a result, you will no longer experience the same level of distress or apprehension in your interpersonal interactions.

It is my sincere hope that the problem you are facing can be resolved as soon as possible.

At this juncture, I am only able to offer the aforementioned suggestions.

It is my sincere hope that the aforementioned responses prove both helpful and inspiring to you, the young lady. I am the answer, and I study assiduously each and every day.

At Yixinli, we extend our warmest regards to you and wish you the best.

Good day, host. I perused your inquiry and was moved to a certain degree of melancholy.

It is my intention to offer you a warm embrace. When one encounters difficulties in interpersonal relationships, it is common to experience a diminished sense of belonging and security, which are fundamental human needs.

Additionally, individuals may experience significant self-rejection and self-doubt in such circumstances. Even when a friend is finally established, the other party's adept handling of the relationship can present a considerable challenge. At times, friends may unintentionally engage in comparisons, which can intensify the pressure felt by the individual in question. When a third party is involved, the sense of security may be further undermined.

It may be beneficial to begin with the following points:

1. Enhancing one's self-confidence is a long-term process that requires time and dedication.

2. It is important to allow oneself to accept that one is not necessarily the best at interpersonal relationships. However, one can distract oneself by identifying one's strengths and utilizing them to gain new insights and emotional experiences.

3. Social phobia may be a self-applied label, but regardless of the perceived severity of the situation, incremental action can facilitate change. One can establish incremental goals and provide self-reinforcement for progress made.

It is my hope that this response will prove beneficial to you.

Hello.

Host:

My name is Zeng Chen, and I am a platform heart exploration coach. I have carefully read the post, and I can clearly see the anxiety of the poster in the content.

The poster also deserves credit for bravely expressing his distress and actively seeking help. This will undoubtedly help him better understand himself so that he can adjust and encounter a better self.

Next, I will share my observations and thoughts in the post, which will help you view yourself from a more diverse perspective.

1. The poster clearly has an "ideal self" in mind.

The original poster has a relatively strong self-esteem, is particularly sensitive, studies very hard, and often feels useless. I understand these feelings.

The host also seems to have an "ideal self" in mind. This ideal self is a person with good social skills, good grades, and high self-esteem. Having an ideal self is not wrong. However, when there is a big gap between the ideal self and the real self, distress and pain result.

When the real self fails to achieve something, we doubt and deny ourselves. We may even feel a sense of guilt and shame.

This undoubtedly causes us a lot of internal conflict. A person's energy is limited. When we use it on internal conflict, there is no room left for growth and learning.

2. The essence of a relationship is an exchange of values.

In the post, I observed that the poster mentioned that in relationships, they try to please others by giving gifts to show their goodwill, and they are also afraid of causing trouble for others. This kind of personality has its advantages in relationships. It knows how to measure one's actions and draw boundaries.

Many people like this personality, but we are also afraid of trouble. This makes us difficult to get along with.

If there's no trouble, there's no relationship. We trouble others appropriately and then give appropriate feedback.

The relationship will continue to move forward. When we trouble others, they will pay. We will experience a sense of value from this payment.

The host must trouble others appropriately if he wants a good relationship.

We must also understand why we try to please others in relationships. It is because we lack confidence and think that only by pleasing others will they like and accept us.

We believe that people will treat us better if we are more knowledgeable. This is a clear indication of a low sense of self-worth.

We must understand that the essence of relationships is an exchange of value. We lack confidence precisely because we do not recognize our own value.

We don't believe we can provide value to others. This is a mistake.

3. Love yourself.

It doesn't matter if you have a strong sense of self-esteem or if you're trying to please others in relationships. What I know for sure is that it all comes down to your lack of self-acceptance and low sense of self-worth.

Love yourself. That's how you improve your sense of self-worth.

We must understand that when we don't like ourselves, others will not like us either. We need to know how others treat us because we are teaching them.

If we try to please others, they will recognize it and get used to this kind of giving. We must accept that if we give and still don't get any praise, we are the ones who suffer in the end.

First, love yourself. Then, others will love you too. But how do you love and accept yourself?

The other aspect is understanding ourselves. We must understand why we are the way we are and why we have a strong sense of self-esteem.

We can do this by looking back on our own upbringing, our own upbringing methods, and our own education. We must also ask ourselves whether the influence of social culture on us has been somewhat unreasonable. [Often, our strong self-esteem is related to conditional love.

We must accept and integrate ourselves. We must accept the good and the bad.

We must recognize our shortcomings as well as our strengths. We allow ourselves to be human and believe wholeheartedly that we can shine and create value in the areas where we excel.

Then, we will meet a better version of ourselves and become more confident.

4. Learn new communication skills.

Communication is crucial in interpersonal relationships. The host should definitely try learning new communication methods.

For example, "Nonviolent Communication" and "High Emotional Intelligence Communication" and so on. Apply their communication methods, practice more, and innovate to form your own style.

This will make our communication in relationships smoother and smoother.

I am confident that these will be of some help and inspiration to you. Of course, change cannot be achieved overnight, but you will succeed in learning and improving.

Don't forget to give yourself time and space. If you have any questions, click to find a coach.

We will communicate one-on-one and grow together!

Hello, I hope this message finds you well!

I'm Yi Ming, a heart exploration coach.

I get it. I'd be happy to chat with you. I hope this will be of some comfort and inspiration to you.

1. Give yourself a little more affirmation. Being sensitive isn't a bad thing.

I can relate to what you said. I feel like I don't have great interpersonal skills and I'm sensitive.

Some people are more likely to engage in ingratiating behavior.

This is related to how we've grown and what makes us who we are.

Next time, try to think of some negative words as your own characteristics, not as disadvantages.

If you're interested, there's a book called "High Sensitivity is a Gift" for sensitive people.

The book explains that sensitivity is pretty common, and it's not something to be ashamed of.

People who are sensitive can easily feel anxious when they're around others, because they're worried that if they don't perform well, they'll be left out by everyone and their interpersonal relationships will be bad.

People who are highly sensitive have a high ability to empathize, a strong sense of responsibility, and a richer inner world. They also enjoy having in-depth exchanges with others.

If you want to improve, you can try to affirm yourself more, accept yourself, learn to love yourself, know that these are just your characteristics, and stop internal conflict. This will help you to slowly stop doubting yourself and make it easier to interact with others.

2. Social Phobia

We all face challenges as we grow and develop.

For instance, you might say, "I'm afraid of bothering others," or, "I don't know what to say, but I don't feel cool, I feel very awkward."

We're all different, after all.

There's no need to label yourself as socially anxious.

At the end of the day, we all just have some social anxiety.

What can you do to make yourself more comfortable and at ease in social situations?

You might want to try some effective methods.

For instance, we can develop beliefs that differ from our past experiences.

Sometimes, if you're willing to go the extra mile to help others, it makes it easier to build a closer relationship.

Needless to say, things that are a hassle for others are pretty straightforward, like looking at the notes taken by other students.

And don't be afraid of rejection.

Also, try to focus on others instead of yourself.

"We need to see with other people's eyes, hear with other people's ears, and feel with other people's hearts."

Listen carefully to what they have to say, even if you don't have anything to contribute at the moment.

It's fair to say that almost everyone likes to be listened to.

3. In response to the question, "Now that a third person has entered the friendship, I feel even more insecure and panicky":

It's important to remember that friendships are always changing.

Your friend is great at building relationships, and now that there's someone else involved, it's normal to feel a little flustered.

Now is a good time to think about why we feel so insecure.

Do you worry that you're too open?

At the very least, we can be with ourselves.

The key to feeling secure is to lower your expectations, accept yourself as you are, and believe in your unique value.

Even if things aren't going as well as you'd hoped for right now, you've still been able to explore and practice.

It's important to learn to fill your own sense of security a little bit at a time, never abandon yourself, and support yourself steadfastly.

At the end of the day, you have to please yourself the most.

If you believe that you are good enough and that you are worth getting to know, you will make more friends. Take your time.

Many good friends are attracted not through flattery.

Please feel free to share these.

Wishing you the best!

Due to professional obligations, a friend of mine is required to visit the entrances of various elementary schools at approximately 5 p.m. daily to distribute flyers and provide gifts. In order to maintain financial stability, she has long since discarded the label of social phobia and no longer prioritizes the preservation of face. In order to survive, she has already relinquished her expectations.

Thus, the subject no longer exhibits any indications of social phobia. Despite a previous diagnosis of social phobia, the subject has not been formally diagnosed with the condition. Instead, the term "social phobia" is often used as a convenient label by individuals to describe others. Additionally, the subject displays a tendency to prioritize the approval of others and to be transparent about their social phobia.

It is possible that these personality traits have not been diagnosed by a medical professional, and this is something that requires further investigation. It is evident that your interpersonal relationships have a significant impact on your emotional state, which is characterised by feelings of sadness and fear.

Despite one's willingness to extend goodwill through the active giving of things to others, this does not facilitate significant progress. This is due to the presence of numerous concerns and a reserved demeanor. The inability to fully trust the external world precludes the possibility of excessive self-revelation or the display of one's imperfections.

If one persists in experiencing feelings of awkwardness, it is unlikely that significant progress will be made. It is not advisable to be excessively shy, as this will only lead to further distress. It is necessary to take the initiative to engage in behaviors that may initially appear foolish, with the aim of gaining a clearer understanding of one's desired future conduct.

It is possible that you may feel as though you are transparent, but this is likely to be a transient feeling. It is also possible for you to be perceived as cool and popular, even if this is not the case. It is important to accept yourself regardless of how others perceive you. It would be beneficial to take a psychological test to gain insight into your character and blind spots. It is also important to avoid labelling yourself as socially anxious. It is essential to understand yourself better and to recognise that there are many people in the world who are similar to you, but who also have the potential for transformation. It would be helpful to speak to a psychological counsellor.

Please clarify the meaning of ZQ.