Suddenly, I feel that life has lost its meaning. I don't know what's wrong with me?

Dear original poster, You have mentioned that you are striving to maintain a healthy lifestyle, working while paying the mortgage and undergoing counseling to facilitate your recovery. You are also attempting to become more independent and to overcome the feelings of loneliness that you experience from time to time.

I can empathize with someone struggling to live alone and stubbornly, and I can somewhat sense the loneliness you mentioned.

You have indicated that you are unsure of the best course of action, and that you are experiencing a sense of being overwhelmed and desperate. It is evident that you have already invested a great deal of effort in your work, your personal life, and your counseling sessions. Perhaps you could benefit from further collaboration and support. However, when you encounter feelings of loneliness, which are difficult for many to comprehend, you are left to confront and cope with them independently.

It is important to note that all individuals are born alone, naked, and with extreme fear and anxiety. They are unable to see or recognize anyone and experience a profound sense of loneliness. If, from the moment of birth, we are surrounded by love, respect, and understanding and can grow up in a nurturing environment, this anxiety and fear can gradually be alleviated, and it can help us dispel this sense of loneliness.

The growth of any individual requires a supportive environment to facilitate emotional well-being and alleviate feelings of isolation. When such an environment is lacking, it can result in a sense of emotional emptiness, which may be akin to the experience you described as "a hollow in the heart."

During the course of psychological counseling, a phenomenon known as "pseudo-healing" may occur. This is a form of self-deception whereby an individual feigns improvement to align with the expectations of their counselor or external parties. In reality, however, the underlying issues may still persist. It is crucial to acknowledge the extent of the challenges you are facing and address them effectively.

Best regards,

Greetings, host. I am smiling.

After reading your description, I have a better understanding of the question you wish to ask. In this regard, I would like to extend my support in whatever form is most appropriate.

From your description, it is evident that the impact of loneliness and emptiness on you is significant, and that these two factors affect your work and life to a certain extent. Indeed, some of the problems you have mentioned are experienced by the majority of people in real life, although the degree to which they are experienced may vary.

The host enables the realization of these states. It is believed that psychological counseling is beneficial in facilitating self-exploration. In this regard, the host is to be commended. Exploration of the self can be achieved through a multitude of methods, not just one. This is a noteworthy achievement, particularly in comparison to many individuals. It is important to encourage oneself, as one is a commendable individual.

From your description, it can be seen that your original family has a greater influence on you today. Additionally, it can be inferred that your psychological counselor is probably biased towards a psychoanalytic level, as evidenced by the numerous explanations they have provided about psychoanalysis. These explanations should have provided you with a great deal of inspiration.

In this regard, I have also provided a summary of potential strategies for alleviating your current situation, with the aim of offering assistance.

(1) Loneliness is a universal experience. Consequently, the question of how to better cope with loneliness is a significant one.

(2) It is inevitable that feelings of loneliness and emptiness will accompany the journey of self-discovery. It is therefore recommended that these feelings be embraced and that an effort be made to accommodate them, as they will prove beneficial to a certain extent.

(3) Engage in activities that align with your interests, such as reading, painting, or learning a musical instrument, to enhance your work and life, and to a certain extent, mitigate feelings of loneliness and emptiness.

(4) You have become aware of the occurrence and development of your emotions and feelings. Therefore, in the present moment, it is possible to appropriately express your emotions, allowing yourself to express negative emotions. Of course, you should also appropriately express your feelings and thoughts, rather than repressing your true thoughts and feelings in most cases.

(5) Attempt to reconcile with the deeper self, avoiding excessive evaluation of this self, and instead demonstrating understanding and tolerance, as this approach can minimize the impact.

The world and I extend our affectionate regard to you.

I extend my best wishes to you.

I'm really happy for you that you've recovered from ten years of depression!

I bet you felt like time was dragging during those ten years, right?

You've beaten the depression, but you're still feeling lonely. You've realised that your depression stems from the repression and fear that built up since childhood. It's a kind of bone-chilling loneliness, like a huge black hole, isn't it?

So, what was in this black hole, what was missing, and how can it be filled? Let's take a look.

I've been getting psychological counseling for about 20 years, and it was only last year that I was finally cured of ten years of depression. Now I realize that depression comes from loneliness, accumulation, pressure, repression, and fear that I've felt since childhood.

You were able to stick with counseling until you got better, which was no easy task!

This took a lot of strength and belief in yourself. You had the energy and perseverance to make it happen.

You were also able to trust others and yourself. At least you trusted that you would get better, and you trusted your counselor, right?

And you made an incredible discovery: the root cause of your depression was the loneliness and fear you'd accumulated since childhood.

You made an incredible discovery: the root cause of your depression was the loneliness and fear that had built up since childhood. This shows that you have the ability to explore your own thoughts and feelings.

That's great!

I didn't expect things to turn out this way. After my depression got better, I thought I'd never feel as lonely as I did as a child again. That feeling of bone-chilling loneliness, that feeling of mistrusting everyone and myself, even when I was in the scorching sun, but felt only cold, that feeling of no one understanding, that I would always be alone, every time I couldn't breathe, I would run to a place where no one was and just be still, hugging myself tightly.

Why does the feeling of loneliness stick around even after the depression has lifted?

We can probably see it this way: the symptoms of depression have gone, but the root cause that caused depression is still there, which means that the emotional problem has not been completely resolved.

We know that depression is usually caused by self-attack.

When you feel lonely, do you think it's your own problem? Do you think you're not good enough and not worthy of love?

If so, you might find yourself disliking, resenting, criticizing, or even denying yourself.

If you stop being too hard on yourself, your depression may gradually get better.

However, that feeling of utter loneliness, of being unloved, uncared for, untrustworthy, and unable to make anyone understand how you feel, has not gone away.

This is something you've been dealing with since you were young, so it's a deep-rooted pain. It's the pain of feeling like you've been let down, like you don't matter, and like you can't trust anyone. It's been compounded by lots of different experiences, like feeling abandoned, neglected, or abused.

You feel cold even in the heat, because you've never felt warmth in your heart.

You can't trust yourself or others because nobody's kept their promises since you were little, so you keep hoping and despairing again and again.

You feel like no one gets you, that you're on your own, and that maybe no one has ever thought about how you feel.

I'm curious, where did you feel like you were "left" in that moment?

How desperate are you feeling right now?

Is it like calling out to the sky for help and not getting a response?

I can almost see a child, alone and afraid, trembling with fear and at a loss, left in the wilderness.

Where are your parents when you need them to step in and protect you?

When you're in need of protection but don't have it, you can only hug yourself, your weak body with your weak little hands, right?

This loneliness is like the feeling of being the only person in the world. It's pretty intense, like having your bones eroded until they ache.

I don't know if anyone can really grasp that kind of pain.

I wish someone had been there for me in every lonely moment back then, but unfortunately, they weren't.

I don't know exactly what you went through at that time, but I can imagine that at the age when you needed companionship the most, you were often alone, enduring loneliness alone, without love, warmth, care, consideration, let alone understanding.

I haven't experienced that kind of pain myself, but I imagine it's not good.

Now I work while trying to heal myself, go to counseling, and pay off the mortgage. I just want to slowly and gradually achieve independence in my personality. But when the loneliness from my childhood attacks, it really gets to me, and I feel like I've lost all the energy I've worked so hard to accumulate.

People who make it through the tough times are the ones with the strongest vitality.

You might still have some wounds, but the symptoms have gone.

What's left is filling your body with qi and blood, so you feel full inside.

This vital energy is what you needed as a child: love, warmth, and companionship.

Even though you missed out on the best time to take care of your body when you were a kid, you can still start to heal now.

I'm really at a loss as to what to do.

It's thought that a ten-year bout of depression can be cured through psychological counseling, with the client experiencing the same emotional release and comfort as a result.

It takes longer to build up a weak constitution than a strong one. The same goes for a spirit that wasn't nurtured as a child.

Your focus should be on experiencing and providing love and warmth.

Based on what you've learned from past experiences, try to reinterpret and find the shadow of care, and recreate the courage and trust of that time.

I think you've already done this during the counseling process.

You can feel love and warmth in the little things in life.

If you're not sure, go ahead and give first and then see what happens.

Above all, in your current adult capacity, go and be there for that lonely child inside you. Support him in the things that interest him, listen to his pain, and meet his needs.

You can also volunteer at nursing homes or orphanages, or even stay with left-behind children, helping and accompanying them, just as you did with your own self as a child. This way, you can feel the warmth and love and experience the beauty of this world.

There are also other ways you can enrich yourself. As with the tides, things have a way of ebbing and flowing. Just as wounds can accumulate, they can also recede little by little.

The wound is healed, the flesh and blood will grow back, and the emptiness in you will be filled up little by little with the feeling of warmth and love!

That's all for now.

I'm Yan Guilai, a psychological counselor. Best of luck!

Hello, question asker!

From your description in the question, it is clear that:

The bone-chilling loneliness, the feeling of distrusting everyone and oneself, even when you are under the scorching sun, you feel only cold. This feeling is unique to me and no one can understand it. I will always be alone, and when I can't catch my breath, I will run to a deserted place to be alone and hug myself tightly.

I'm reminded of the little match girl. It's so hard. I'm here for you every moment along the way!

I was luckier than you when I was young. I didn't experience the loneliness you described, but I did feel the pain of a broken heart, the feeling of being pierced by a thousand arrows, the darkest moment in life, not being able to see tomorrow, and being scared and desperate like a lost dog. I really felt like my cries for help were unanswered, like I was in a desperate situation. And I was.

But now that I think about it, I know that kind of predicament, that kind of loneliness, that kind of helplessness. Even with the help of ten thousand people, it still feels like no one is there. You are completely immersed in your own thoughts and have imprisoned yourself in a shell. It is a kind of endless suffering.

I believe that, since I have had this experience, I can draw an analogy with the feeling you had as a child. I think it was also because you were thinking too much and were stuck in your own thoughts, and your loved ones could not get in.

When we were young, we were not fully developed and our cognition was not yet mature, so all kinds of situations could arise. However, we have grown up, and with the development of our body and mind, we are no longer the same as we were as children.

You have been cured of depression for ten years since you started counseling in 2002. This proves the power of our own strength, and we will use various methods to strengthen our inner strength.

You also described a bone-chilling loneliness that has lasted for ten years. I want to know how you managed to get through each moment and come to this day of depression recovery. It must have taken a lot of inner energy. This also proves that your heart has the potential to generate tremendous energy.

You should feel the comfort and ease of having recovered from a decade of depression. That's precisely why it arises.

But when the loneliness of childhood strikes, I feel devastated, and all the energy I've worked so hard to accumulate is gone.

You're afraid of losing your achievements, and I understand why. I'm here to tell you that you're going to be just fine. I'm giving you a warm, tight hug to show you that I believe in you.

However, I believe you can worry. This situation has been with you for ten years, and it will take time to disappear. But now more than ever, you must believe in your abilities.

First of all, I see your current ability in your description.

I am currently working, healing myself, going to counseling, and paying off the mortgage. I will achieve independence in my personality, and I will do it gradually and steadily.

Plan well, think clearly, and set specific, appropriate goals. Work provides financial security, ensuring you can eat and maintain your physical health. Counseling ensures your mental health. With these in place, you can achieve self-reliance.

Second, although our lives are normal and we are doing our work and getting counseling, we know that we humans have seven emotions and six desires. We think a lot, and there are nine times out of ten things in life that are not as good as they should be. This will not be reduced because we have been suffering for ten years. For example, just like the current epidemic, there is really no way for us to do anything other than face it head-on. So, it is very normal for you to feel depressed at this time and have that familiar feeling from the past. Just accept it when it comes.

Just watch it appear. Don't exaggerate or minimize it.

When you reach your limit, we'll ask for help. This is a significant shift from our previous approach. We have access to psychological counseling, so there's no need to isolate yourself like you did as a child. You said:

I need someone to keep me company in every lonely moment, and I'm going to find that person.

You can do this now. Go online and find support from people who understand what you're going through. Stick together and stay strong.

Persevere. When you're crushed, your energy is diminished. Find a way to accumulate and become stronger. After this cycle of being crushed, diminished, inspired, and stronger, your character will achieve self-reliance.

Think about the future. It's wonderful. The process will still be painful, but it's worth it. Look at the rainbow in the distance. It's worth braving the wind and rain.

Come on! The world and I love you!

I hope my answer can be of some help to you.

It's encouraging to see that the poster is actively seeking treatment and trying to live life to the fullest. However, it's important to recognize that some of the influences within us may not disappear overnight. We've identified them, and that's an important first step. Just like in the movies, the road to becoming a hero is never easy. At the end, they have to defeat a big boss, and even after defeating the big boss, they will encounter some obstacles on the way back. This is similar to our growth. Perhaps depression is your big boss, and you have already defeated it. But it is also possible for it to resurface. So, what can we do at this time? Of course, we can't give up. We still have to continue fighting it. But this time, we are more experienced in the battle. If we defeat it again, our growth will be rapid. So, don't be discouraged, keep going, and things will get better and better.

If I might offer a suggestion, it would be this:

It might be helpful to believe that everything will be fine.

The Pygmalion effect suggests that expectations play an important role in determining outcomes. Rather than focusing on specific desires, it's more beneficial to cultivate positive expectations.

If you expect with confidence and truly believe that things will go smoothly, then it is likely that they will. Conversely, if you believe that things are constantly being hindered, then it is possible that these hindrances will arise.

It would be beneficial to consider the value of positive beliefs. When we have positive beliefs and attitudes, when we are confident, and when we believe that good things will happen, and always hold onto this positive expectation, it could be helpful.

It is often the case that positive beliefs lead to positive behavior, which in turn often leads to positive results.

We aspire to become the people we want to be, and we persist in working towards that goal. With time, we will undoubtedly become the person we hope to be. However, if we constantly feel inadequate and believe we cannot succeed, we may find ourselves stuck in a state of stagnation.

It might be helpful to remind yourself that you're not permanently stuck. Once you've worked through this particular challenge, you'll likely make further progress and find solutions.

It may be helpful to consider ways of transforming and releasing emotions in a reasonable way.

It is important to remember that suppressing your emotions is not the answer. Instead, you can choose to channel and transform them in a way that is beneficial for you. There are a few different ways you can do this:

1. It may be helpful to socialize with friends who can offer support and encouragement, and who you feel comfortable with.

2. Consider engaging in physical activity and participating in a sport you enjoy, while also allowing yourself to relax.

3. Writing therapy: You might find it helpful to write down all your feelings and thoughts on paper. There's no need to worry about whether the handwriting is neat and tidy or the content logical. Just express yourself as much as you like.

Another option for releasing anger is punching pillows or sandbags, which provides a way to safely express your frustration on a soft object.

5. Another option for releasing emotions is the empty chair technique. This involves placing an empty chair in a room and pretending that the person you want to talk to is sitting in it. This can be a helpful way to express yourself, even if it involves expressing anger or frustration.

It would be beneficial to continue building up your energy.

Indeed, when we are in a depressed state, it may be helpful to focus on accumulating energy. Here are two methods that could be beneficial:

You might like to consider recording three good things every day as a way of boosting your happiness.

It might be helpful to try to find three good things in your life each day and record them. You could record each thing in one sentence, and it could be something as simple as meeting a good book, a good dish, good news, or something else. You might also want to consider adding a sentence of thanks to each thing to make it a grateful thing.

Keeping a record can help you appreciate the beauty of life and enhance your sense of well-being.

2. It may be helpful to set reasonable goals for yourself and take action to achieve them.

You may find it helpful to set yourself appropriate goals and then achieve them step by step. By achieving goals continuously, your abilities may gradually improve, your knowledge may accumulate, and your experience may become richer and richer. You may feel more and more secure, have a greater sense of control over your life, and naturally become more and more confident.

I believe that suitable goals are those of moderate difficulty, the kind you can reach by standing on your tiptoes. If the goal is too small, it may not be challenging enough to inspire motivation, and you may lose interest and not bother to achieve it. If the goal is too big, it may be too difficult to achieve, and you may lack confidence in your ability to do so. Goals of moderate difficulty are often the most motivating. When we work hard to achieve them, we often feel a sense of achievement and confidence.

For instance, if your current walking level is 4,000 steps per day, you might consider setting your daily goal at 4,500-5,000, though any number between 4,000 and 10,000 could be appropriate.

It is important to persevere when setting goals that are suitable for you according to your abilities. Action can help you overcome difficulties and truly experience your own value.

If I may suggest, it would be beneficial to encourage yourself, give yourself positive mental suggestions, and believe that you can, and you really can.

Some people believe that depression is not a disease. In fact, depression may have its roots in biased cognition. Those habitual responses can sometimes trap us in a repetitive emotional state. We may experience feelings of powerlessness and frustration as a result.

Many of us have experienced depression at one time or another. While it can be a challenging journey, we can choose to find ways to overcome it. We may stumble along the way, but with the right support, we can learn to pick ourselves up and try again.

I wish you the best of luck and send my best wishes your way.

Hello, question asker!

After reading your account, I can relate to your loneliness. I think we all feel it at times. Rather than fighting against it, it might help to admit it and see it as something you can work through.

1. The questioner says, "I work while trying to heal myself, go to counseling, and pay off my mortgage. I just want to slowly and gradually achieve self-personality independence. But when loneliness from my childhood attacks, my heart is shattered, and the energy I have worked so hard to accumulate is gone."

There's always a moment when it feels like you're being hit again. We've all been there. Even those of us who are not depressed feel a deep sense of powerlessness when facing certain things and a deep sense of loneliness when the night is quiet. So, you're not alone on that lonely road. We've all been there.

Even so, we can see your strength in what you say. You're still working, paying off your mortgage, trying to heal yourself, asking questions, and looking for new possibilities. We see more of your inner strength. On the other hand, we can gain strength from your experiences and words, and also see many possibilities in life.

2. "I wish someone had been there for me in every lonely moment back then, but unfortunately they weren't."

Yes, when we're lonely, lost, and vulnerable, we always want someone to be there for us, especially like children who have been neglected since childhood. Our inner world is like what the questioner said, like a black hole that can never be filled. Our inner child is hurt, and when they need the most important nurturer, unconditional love, and a mirror to reflect them, they cannot give it.

So, there's always going to be a gap in our hearts, and we'll always be searching for it and trying to fill it up, even after we become adults. But when we realize that the gap may never be filled up, can we let go of the past self? Stop fighting against the past self?

When others can't give us the love and attention we want, we love and pay attention to ourselves. In fact, isn't what the questioner has done precisely self-love and self-care? Teacher Zhang Defen once said, "The external world is the manifestation of the internal world."

When we nourish ourselves, we can nourish others. So can we take a step back from the outside world and focus on our own inner world? When no one else can nourish our soul, we have to nourish it ourselves. Is that okay?

As the saying goes, companionship is the best love. It can stand up to anything and keep you warm on your journey through life.

The fear of loneliness and the fear of being dominated are the most unbearable psychological states in life.

We all want to be understood and supported by others. When we're happy, we want to share the joy. When we're sad, we want someone to comfort us. It's also a blessing to have someone close by at all the important times in our lives.

If you're on your own, be your own company. If you need a hug, give yourself one!

When heartbreak and loneliness strike, try to accept it. This is just part of life!

Do you think that just because you have someone by your side, you are not lonely? Whatever happens in life, it's important to try to acknowledge and accept it, rather than fight against it. This can really help to improve your mood, and it can also make life a little easier.

Wishing you all the best, and sending love from me and the world to you.

Hello, dear poster. I really want to give you a hug and tell you that I understand how you're feeling.

You're really courageous and willing to try psychological counseling to treat your depression, which not many people are willing to do. I admire your openness.

Cross-domain depression: You've taken a deeper look into your mind and found a kind of "loneliness." Your description fits the textbook definition.

Depression is behind me. I thought I'd never feel as lonely as I did as a child again, that bone-chilling loneliness, that feeling of mistrusting everyone and myself, even when I was in the scorching sun. I felt only cold, that no one understood, that I was always alone.

The very profound, very intense, and very helpless loneliness you are experiencing now is called "existential loneliness." This kind of loneliness is something that people who are buried in the mundane rarely get to see or experience.

I'd like to congratulate you on making this progress.

My idol, the famous psychologist Irwin Yalom, talks about three types of loneliness in his book Existential Psychotherapy:

The first type is "interpersonal loneliness." This is the most common type of loneliness and mainly refers to feeling separated from others. For example, you might lack certain social skills, have few close friends in a new environment, or experience a serious accident involving someone close to you.

The second type is "psychological loneliness." This kind of loneliness is a bit different. When people face a lot of pressure or go through a traumatic experience, they may cut off a part of themselves and suppress their desires or emotions to avoid possible harm. This can cause them to feel isolated and disconnected from themselves.

How you deal with this sense of loneliness depends on your ability to repair yourself and deal with your pain.

The third type is "existential loneliness." This is when there's an unbridgeable gap between you and anyone else. Even if you love someone, you're still two individuals with different experiences. So, existential loneliness isn't just a feeling. It's a basic fact of being an individual.

You might want to read a book like "Existentialist Psychotherapy" to help you grow, or join a group that follows the Irvin Yalom model to explore yourself. Individual counseling in the existentialist school is also a good option.

You've always lived with a lot of passion and determination, which is a great attitude to have. Maybe it's time to share that with others.

I'm pleased to hear that.

Hug you!

I understand. Childhood experiences have left you with negative feelings, making you feel miserable and lonely.

But life isn't always easy. We all have different experiences. If we look at things differently, we can see the beauty in the world.

Dark and lonely moments can make us stronger. We cannot change the past or the negative influences it brought us. But if we try to let go of the past, the future will be bright.

Maybe you should change your mindset. Thinking that life is meaningless can lead to negative thoughts and views.

Learning a new skill is a good way to relax.

Talk to people. You might find that you're not as alone as you think. Life is hard for everyone. But if we understand and support each other, it can be meaningful.

Go outside and look around.

Wherever you are, you'll see that people are resilient and can do meaningful things.

You're not alone. There are people who love you and people who deserve love. I hope you find the motivation to live, that the darkness will pass and the light will return, and that there are still beautiful things in this world worth believing in. I hope all is well with you.

Hello!

It's totally normal to feel this way when you're going through a rough patch. It can feel like life is meaningless and you're at a loss when you're dealing with loss, loneliness, and internal oppression.

Oh, absolutely! It's so strange, isn't it? There are more than 7 billion people in this world, and yet somehow we can't seem to find someone to get to know, love, understand, and support each other.

I really feel for the questioner, who is going through such a tough time. I think that with a little bit of psychological counseling, I was able to help them overcome their depression, which had lasted for ten years. I know this might not be a big deal to them, but I just wanted to share my experience in case it helps.

I know how hard it is to beat depression. It takes a lot of effort to succeed, so I admire the questioner for persevering so much.

It's totally normal to feel this way! The questioner says that they don't know what to do now and have lost the meaning of life.

It's true that everyone faces this challenge, but many of us don't think about it much. We just set our goals according to what we think will make us happy in this world, and that's okay! But it might be helpful to think about what it really means to live a meaningful life.

But, thankfully, there are a few people who ask this question and explore the meaning of life.

In his book, "Existentialist Psychotherapy," the wonderful Irwin Yalom, a contemporary American existential psychotherapy master, clearly depicts the four ultimate areas of concern that existential psychotherapy provides people with: death, freedom, loneliness, and meaninglessness.

Since the questioner brought up loneliness and meaninglessness, I thought it might be helpful to explore these two points together.

1. Loneliness

We all experience that feeling of loneliness from time to time.

Someone once made a lovely analogy that each of us is like a boat sailing on the sea. Near or far, we can see thousands of boats on the sea.

But these boats can get very close to each other, and it would be so lovely if they could merge!

So, each of us is like a lonely boat, but there's a way to avoid feeling so alone. Some boats are close to each other, and the people on board can greet each other. Others are far apart and cannot hear each other even if they shout. So, we need to sail towards the boat we want to get close to.

Have you ever thought about whether our little boat really has a direction to travel in this big ocean? It's a good question! And if there is a boat we want to get close to, it makes sense that we'd be heading in its direction, doesn't it?

So, if you're looking to be less lonely, I'm afraid that's not something you can control. But if you want someone to understand you, I'm here for you.

2. Meaninglessness

I think it's safe to say that the world is so rich and diverse because of meaninglessness!

We live in a wonderful world that is meant to be experienced. It's just that, from the moment we are born, each of us experiences it in our own unique way.

Take, for instance, people born into wealthy families. They get to eat well, wear warm clothes, have everything they want, and experience love and happiness every day!

Some folks are born into tough situations, where they never have enough to eat or warm clothes. They experience fear, threats, and beatings, and can experience pain and hunger.

The good news is that most of these experiences are not up to us to decide. And in any case, there is really no difference between these experiences.

It's a sad fact that many people are afraid of death. After all, it would be the end of the experience that everyone has in this world.

It's so sad when people feel like there's no point in living. They're already suffering so much that they want to end the experience quickly, and they may choose to commit suicide.

And in the experience of life, the most important thing is to find your own meaning.

Because meaning is something that's defined by you, the person experiencing it.

For example, some people define their lives as pursuing their dreams, so they respond positively to everything. Others just want to get by, so they go through the motions. And some people give themselves a special meaning, and they may devote their whole being to a certain organization or belief.

So, meaning really shapes a person's whole life. If you're feeling like there's no meaning, think about giving yourself a new meaning. This meaning can change at different stages and really shape our colorful lives!

I really hope my answer helps the questioner. Thanks so much to everyone for your time. I'm Jiusi, on Yixinli, and I love you all!

After ten years of struggling with depression, I finally found a way to recover. The challenges and difficulties of this process can only be truly understood by someone who has experienced it firsthand, like the original poster.

I admire the questioner's determination and I empathize with their situation. Life after rebirth hasn't been easy. When you suddenly feel like life has lost its meaning, it can be hard to find direction and feel lost.

I hope you find this sharing helpful.

I hope you find this sharing helpful.

First, give yourself time. The cure for depression will involve a process of repeated attempts. Even if the small to large wounds have scabbed over, they will still hurt if they get wet or exposed to the wind.

A decade-long history of fighting depression shows both the perseverance of the poster and the stubbornness of depression. So, even if you've already recovered, you still need to take care of your wounded heart.

I'd also like to invite the original poster to know that the road of self-exploration after recovery also takes time. You've been very resilient and courageous, but depression is persistent and has a strong aftereffect, so we still have to proceed at a slow pace.

If you feel like you're at rock bottom, it's worth checking in with your doctor. It could be a sign of a relapse.

Second, find a social support group. You can also support each other in these groups.

An authoritative report says that more than 350 million people worldwide suffer from depression. This shows that depression is not an isolated case. So, before this sense of loneliness strikes again, we can try to find people who have had similar experiences and are also looking for a new life for themselves. In mutual aid groups, we can listen to other people's stories and explore our new lives.

There are lots of non-governmental organizations (NGOs) that focus on depression or help people in need that have mutual support groups. If you're interested, you can search online to see if there are any organizations in your city that can help you meet these people, support each other, and grow together.

Finally, talking to your counselor about your difficulties means that you're not alone in feeling this way, and it's not just you.

When a feeling is too strong, it can easily take over your life.

If you're not interrupted by the outside world, it's easy to get caught up in this feeling and unable to escape. That's why it's important to find someone you trust to talk to and who can support you through this difficult time.

And you, who have been counseling since 20, have probably also talked about the challenges of this period with your counselor. But this is not an easy problem, and even with the support of a professional, it still takes time.

Maybe you don't feel this way alone anymore, but with someone there for you.

I'm not a psychologist who explores human nature. I'm a spiritual therapist who cares for the human heart. I wish you well.

Hello.

Host,

My name is Zeng Chen, and I am a mindfulness coach. I have read the post carefully, and I can clearly see the helplessness of the poster from the content.

The poster has also shown great courage in facing herself and seeking help on the platform. This will undoubtedly help her better understand and recognize herself, allowing her to adjust and encounter a better self.

Next, I will share my observations and thoughts in the post, which will undoubtedly help you, the original poster, to look at the issue from a more diverse perspective.

1. Accept your emotions.

The host of the post made a crucial observation: when the loneliness of childhood strikes, it shatters my heart and erodes the energy I've worked hard to accumulate. I'm at a loss. After reading this, I understand your experience. The feeling of being an isolated guide is suffocating.

We can feel better when faced with these things. We must accept these emotions in ourselves because emotions come with messages from our hearts and are a bridge for us to understand and experience our inner feelings. Through emotions, we can understand our inner needs and establish a connection with ourselves.

This can help us escape the isolation and loneliness. We must accept our emotions, not fight against them. Otherwise, we miss their messages and become miserable.

Resisting our emotions only makes them more painful.

It's simple: the more we force ourselves to sleep, the less likely we are to actually fall asleep. We need to accept these emotions and move on.

2. Examine your growth experiences from an adult perspective.

In the post, the host revealed his childhood experiences, including feelings of distrust and isolation, even in the face of extreme heat. He expressed a deep sense of loneliness and a need for solitude, which he sought in deserted places. I empathize with your experiences, host. I understand the pain and isolation you endured.

Let's take a look at what we can do for ourselves. As adults, we have the ability and resources to revisit our own growth experiences, which will help us better understand and know ourselves and adjust some irrational perceptions.

The original poster mentioned loneliness when they were young in their post.

We can then examine why we felt lonely as children and why we struggled to trust others. Frequently, during our childhood, we lacked the understanding to know ourselves. We came to understand ourselves through the feedback of others.

If we don't trust ourselves or anyone else, it's because of how we were raised or the environment around us.

As adults, we can use our adult thinking to assess the feedback we receive. If it is not reasonable or scientific, we must adjust our perceptions and correct ourselves. Everyone's growth is inseparable from such opportunities to correct and adjust ourselves.

This will help us understand ourselves more objectively. It will also help us reconcile with ourselves better.

3. Learning and growing

Let's be real. What does it mean to be healthy? Everyone has their own set of challenges, and there's no such thing as absolute health.

And most people are living with a little "problem." You have to learn to live with problems. Learn and grow, don't ask for change. Put problems aside for now.

This is why. High-dimensional thinking is often used to solve low-dimensional problems. We must improve our cognitive and thinking dimensions and grow and learn.

When we are making slow progress, we look back and the problem may have disappeared. There's no need to rush to solve problems.

We must increase our knowledge and learn some psychology.

4. Find your passion.

The original poster stated that life has lost its meaning. There is a great deal of controversy surrounding the meaning of life.

I'm going to share my thoughts with you. I agree that life originally has no meaning, and that the meaning of life is given by oneself.

You get out of life what you put into it.

I believe the meaning of life is to find your passion and do things that make you feel meaningful and valuable. Pay attention to the feelings from the heart. The original poster should try more to find things that make you feel meaningful.

I am confident that these will be of some help and inspiration to you. If you have any questions, click on Find a Coach to communicate with a coach one-on-one.

Let's tackle the issues of our own growth head-on.

Dear question asker, I extend to you a gesture of empathy and support. I had assumed that once the ten-year depressive episode had concluded, I would experience a return to a sense of well-being. However, I find myself still grappling with feelings of loneliness and distress. I am uncertain about the most effective course of action to address these challenges. I can only imagine the difficulty you must be experiencing.

From your description, it appears that you have been in counseling since you were 20 years of age, recovered from depression last year, and are still in counseling. Therefore, it seems that you have a stable counselor.

It is unclear whether you have discussed these issues with your counselor and, if so, what advice they have provided.

Should one wish to pursue these questions in greater depth and implement changes, it may be beneficial to engage in discussion with a counselor. It is important to note that the scope of information obtainable from a Q&A is limited. Nevertheless, I am inclined to share my feelings and thoughts with the questioner in the hope that they may prove helpful.

I am uncertain how to respond to the original poster's question, as I have also experienced a similar sense of loneliness.

Frequently, this sensation of solitude manifests as an image: it is as if I am the sole individual situated in an expansive, desolate field, isolated and helpless, with no protective barriers surrounding me. It appears that the sole means of experiencing warmth is to assume a crouched position and embrace myself tightly.

However, this sense of loneliness does not persist continuously throughout the day; rather, it manifests primarily when an individual is experiencing a negative emotional state. Our lives are comprised of numerous disparate elements, and this particular perception of loneliness represents only a single aspect of one's overall experience.

It is unclear how long this sense of loneliness persists. Does it manifest as a constant, pervasive feeling throughout the day?

You indicated that the "loneliness of childhood" is a recurring phenomenon. It may be the case that your feelings of loneliness are not a constant presence. In such instances, it would be interesting to understand what you do when you are not experiencing these feelings or have temporarily forgotten about them.

Reflection on these questions can facilitate a more nuanced understanding of one's psychological state.

Indeed, when this sense of loneliness strikes, it seems that all the mental energy previously accumulated is rendered useless, just as a flood causes a breach in the dike. After the flood, it is necessary to rebuild the affected areas.

However, it is important to consider the temporal nature of the flood and the multitude of moments in life that are not affected by it.

Given the inability to cope with the overwhelming circumstances at this time, it is necessary to accept the situation. Once the flood has receded, the pain and loneliness will also dissipate. Therefore, it is essential to persevere through these challenging emotions.

It is important to note, however, that this feeling will come and go, and that it is not the sum total of one's existence.

This is the method by which I cope with feelings of loneliness, and it is my hope that it will prove beneficial.

Furthermore, I would like to present my thoughts on this sense of loneliness.

It can be argued that this sense of loneliness is a consequence of difficulties in interpersonal relationships. The formation of close connections with others is often challenging, which can result in a lack of connection with both other people and the world, leading to feelings of loneliness.

Furthermore, it can be argued that the individual in question has elevated themselves to a position of loneliness, and thus is unable to descend from it.

In conclusion, the aforementioned experiences and sentiments are merely illustrative examples, intended for reference only. It is my hope that they prove beneficial. Nevertheless, I continue to advise the original poster to consult with their own counselor, as counselors are a valuable resource. Best regards.