The couple have already received a marriage license and are now facing a divorce crisis. Should they get a divorce?

Perhaps you could give the questioner a hug. I can see that you are very torn.

On the one hand, you are afraid of being alone and you want to spend the rest of your life with your husband. However, even before you got married, you had many conflicts, and it seems that he and his family do not respect you or your family. I wonder if this kind of unequal marriage is truly what you want.

From what you've shared, it seems there's more to the situation than just a lack of respect. It's also possible that you feel a sense of injustice. I'm wondering if I understood correctly when you mentioned that his family is involved in politics. I'm not sure if he's in a high-ranking position.

Could this be a reason for you to consider spending the rest of your life with him?

Perhaps we could start by discussing what kind of married life you would like to have. You have already taken the step of getting married, which means that you are legally married. However, it seems that your current situation may not align with your expectations.

It seems that the answer is no, otherwise you wouldn't have come to the platform to seek help. Could it be that what you really want is a marriage that someone else can give you?

Perhaps there are other possibilities to consider. For instance, if your current husband's family is involved in politics, could there be an alternative in business?

I'm simply offering a potential perspective. Given that a family in politics may not respect your family, it might be worth considering a family in business as an alternative.

If I understood you correctly, you said you're afraid of being alone. Would you be open to exploring other options that don't involve being alone?

Could you please tell me more about what you're looking for in a partner? If you can identify and address your underlying fears about being alone, it might help you to focus on the qualities of a partner that truly matter.

I believe there are a number of issues between you and your husband that are likely beyond your control. It may be worth considering whether continuing this marriage is the best option for you. Perhaps there are other individuals you could consider who might be a better match.

I believe that when God closes a door, he will surely open a window. It seems like I've been suggesting that you consider separating.

From your description, it seems that the future of your marriage may not be as bright as you would hope. Young people are often full of passion, so it would be natural to expect some level of affection and perhaps even intimacy. However, it seems that there has been no sexual contact since May.

From what you've shared, it seems like you are a normal woman, and therefore it's possible that either he is not a normal man (perhaps he's gay?) or that he doesn't love you. It's certainly a difficult situation.

It seems that you feel he is a mama's boy, treating you and your family differently depending on the situation. It may be the case that your future depends on the whims of him and his family, and that you are at their beck and call.

I wonder if such a future is truly worthwhile. You desire a divorce, yet he does not. He is not with you. Could this marriage be akin to a delicate, transient arrangement?

It would be helpful to understand what they are trying to hide. If they are looking for something from you and they act condescendingly, it might be challenging to continue putting up with it for decades to come.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider your own life outside of this family.

My dear, life is beautiful. He may not be a bad person, but he may not be the right person for you.

Marriage is a personal choice, and only you know whether it's the right one for you. I hope you can find some time to calm down and make a decision that's right for you.

Hello! I've read your description and additional comments, and I think I understand your situation pretty well. Let's explore together how you can make the right choice despite the many uncertainties.

Are you ready to tie the knot?

Given all the challenges and craziness you've been through, I think the answer to this question is pretty clear. You're only 24, so you've probably just started your journey in society and are still learning the ropes. It's also likely that you're still learning about marriage yourself.

Before marriage, it's totally normal not to have a thorough understanding of each other's character.

I'm not sure how you spent your time together during the year you were together. Have you ever observed the way he gets along with his friends and family? On the other hand, do you think your husband knows you fully and objectively? If both people are in "love with the image" at the beginning, then the gap in real life will become wider and wider over time. This is a great time for both of you to learn to be tolerant and to enhance your understanding.

Sexual intimacy just can't bring people a sense of closeness, you know?

Let's start by talking about what intimacy is. Intimacy is that wonderful feeling you get when you're close to someone you trust. It can be between parents and children, siblings, partners, or friends.

People who experience this wonderful emotion feel that they can effectively connect and communicate with others, feel the attention and love of others, and also feel that they are needed and valuable, and that life is happy.

I'd love to know, after you got your license, did the intimacy between you increase or decrease? Isn't sex an impulsive act that stems from passion and is difficult to control?

If there's a misunderstanding and no timely communication is made, causing a rift between the two parties, will the sexual interest decline significantly? It's a good question!

It's a bit unclear what the purpose of entering into marriage is.

I'm sure you two have lots of exciting plans for your future together! But have you ever thought about how you'll manage your finances as a married couple? How you'll divide up the chores around the house? And what you'll do with your careers? I'm sure you've already discussed some of these things, but it's always a good idea to write down your ideas for the future. When you're both feeling calm and collected, why not sit down together and make a plan?

When you share a vision, you'll also share the same values. And when you share the same values, you'll know which words to say (vocabulary) to achieve your goals, and which words not to say to achieve your goals. It's a wonderful thing! You'll be able to achieve harmony in the family and success in everything.

I'm so excited for what's to come!

Marriage is not a peace treaty to end a war.

The sense of ritual in marriage, including choosing the date, is a wonderful way to welcome blessings into your future life together. In the process of these "encounters," have the elderly of both families found a "field for their skills" to compete? I'd love to know how you two young people view the essence behind all these formalities. No parents in the world are bad, but as two adults, you should have a clear understanding of your future together.

I've also looked into choosing an auspicious day. I'm not quite sure what kind of day will be good for his family and bad for yours. I think the idea behind choosing an auspicious day is to make your life together better and better!

I truly believe that the marriage of two families is more like two sides coming together to build a boat, and then you two working as a team to row it well. It's not about trying to beat each other, but rather working together. War is a very childish act that stems from thousands of years of feudal patriarchal thinking. I'm sure that the way you two communicate about your future family life will not be such violent communication.

Everyone changes, and that means change is possible!

I can see that he is only two years older than you, and he also seems a little immature when dealing with these issues. After all, for both of you, this is your first marriage, and these trivial matters will make anyone feel a bit lost. It's only natural that everyone wants to call for reinforcements to put out the fire. It would be great for the two families to come to a conclusion after arguing, and for you young couple to just do as you are told. But after the old people argue, you young couple still have to live your own lives.

If you face difficulties together and share responsibilities, you two will grow and achieve happiness together.

Generally speaking, women are a little more mature than men. Men tend to focus on the practical world, while women often turn their attention inward. So when it comes to growth, I'm afraid you'll have to lead your husband. Didn't he say that he wanted to see a psychologist before deciding whether or not to divorce?

That's great! It shows he's willing to make changes. And seeking a positive solution to a problem is a really positive attitude.

You've said yourself that apart from the quality and quantity of sex in your marriage and the quarrels between your families, you don't feel that your husband has any major shortcomings. Is that right?

I really think you should go with your husband to see a psychologist. It would be so helpful for you both to discover each other's internal complexes through psychological counseling. And you could learn how to get along in an intimate relationship. There's still a long time ahead of you, so there's no need to rush into anything.

Hi, I'm Zhang Huili, a psychological counselor. I really hope my answer helps you! If you find it useful, please give me a like. Thanks!

Dear Sir/Madam, I regret to hear that you are considering divorce at this early stage of your marriage. It is understandable that you are experiencing fear and loss of confidence in marriage. Best regards, [Name]

In summary, the two main issues are: 1. Sexual discord, and 2. An inability to agree on matters related to the wedding. The two parties are unable to compromise.

This is the most significant issue in a marital crisis, particularly in the context of sexual disharmony.

With regard to the wedding arrangements, there are differing opinions on both sides. It is evident that you feel the other person has a strong sense of control and wishes to take the lead. This could result in a loss of initiative before the wedding, particularly in light of the involvement of the parents, which could lead to discord between them. It is possible to find a solution to these issues.

The most critical issue for you is the challenge of sexual discord.

This is a matter that will have a significant impact on your life, and it is essential to communicate it to the other party.

1. It is essential to communicate your views and expectations directly to the other person and indicate your desire for harmonious sexual relations. Given your relative inexperience in this area, it is beneficial to collaborate and gain understanding. During this initial stage, you are in a period of learning and may lack experience. Effective communication is crucial.

2. With regard to the conflicts between the two families, it is essential that you and your husband address them together and find a solution that is satisfactory to both parties.

3. The issue should be resolved through the aforementioned two methods. If the other party is unwilling to cooperate, a decision must be made. It is important to determine whether the problem is a sexual dysfunction or a lack of knowledge. If it is indeed a problem, a choice must be made. If there is uncertainty, further learning is necessary.

4. It is recommended that the two of you engage in joint learning about marriage management and conflict resolution. This should include learning how to address and resolve conflicts and confrontations in a constructive manner. It is essential to agree on this before marriage. If this is not feasible, it may be advisable to reconsider the marriage.

Hello. I can really relate to how you're feeling. It's a tough spot to be in, feeling helpless, unsure of what to do, and not knowing where to turn. It's a lonely and helpless feeling, and it really hurts.

From what you've said, it seems like there are a few different issues at play.

1. You've already got the marriage certificate, and since there's no longer any affection, not even conjugal life, and you haven't let go of your heart and emotions to enjoy it once in a while, this is a sign of no love. Then you should ask yourself how your love with your husband happened at that time, whether there were other reasons, and whether you really like and love each other.

2. Your parents are also having a lot of conflicts and don't get along well because of the gap in their financial and social status. This isn't your problem, nor is it your parents' problem, because the two families are too different.

As the old saying goes, there's some truth to the idea that you have to be a good match.

3. Your attitude and tone of voice might also come across as if you're looking down on your husband. It might seem like you're fighting a lone battle without your husband's support.

I've got a few simple suggestions for you.

1. Take a moment to ask yourself: do you want love, or your husband's conditions, sex, or a happy self? When you listen to the depths of your heart, you'll know the answer. Whatever it is, it's yours. He's healthy, and you need to accept and accept yourself.

Then, try to let go of some of the things you don't want most.

2. No one is wrong here. They both have their own families and cultural backgrounds. The problem is that the two families don't see eye to eye. They need to make progress. If they can't make progress, this kind of conflict is also an historical problem that can't be solved. It will continue for many years to come.

3. Today, our society is progressing rapidly. Both men and women have the right to pursue their own love and sexual happiness, and this is the result of the high divorce rate. Not only should there be love, but there should also be sex out of love. You are both so young, and you should clearly consider your future, marriage, responsibilities, and morality.

I hope the above advice helps. Best regards, Treehole 69

Hello question asker

I'm Kelly Shui, a heart explorer.

I've read your question and tried to help.

[Getting married and facing divorce]

The questioner said you and your partner have known each other for a year and a half and got engaged.

1: Are you single?

2: If your parents think you're a good match and you're together, you don't dislike each other.

3: We can't give you answers about marriage and divorce. The questioner should think about this.

4: You have your own opinions. When you have problems, you will find solutions in your heart.

5: You're not old, and you're both filial. Your parents will be involved in your marriage.

It seems like there are some problems in your family. These will lead to friction and unpleasant things.

It's a mix of two very different families.

My thoughts and suggestions:

Some people fall in love before marriage. Some people are suited to being together and grow slowly after marriage.

You can solve problems in your relationship by getting married.

1: The most important thing about getting married is your emotional connection. Since you haven't been dating long, you can spend more time building your relationship and communicating.

2: Get to know each other better. Even after you get married, you should understand that men and women think differently.

After marriage, novelty and intimacy will fade.

The questioner can maintain some mystery about themselves and arouse the other person's curiosity. For example, read more books, watch a movie together, and create romantic dates.

Love is a two-way street. It requires both parties to give their hearts and learn how to get along.

2: Couples don't need to contact each other too often.

Keep your boundaries. Even though you're married, you're still exposing yourself when you're together a lot. Your lover will also see your flaws and bad habits.

3: You haven't spent much time together, so you need to find common topics to talk about.

Dating is about talking about your views, expectations, and future plans.

Men and women can only get along if they have things to talk about and can become more intimate.

Reading, common hobbies, and exchanging views after watching a book or movie are all good topics, but don't force your opinions on others. Not everything is going to be liked by both of you.

Treat others as you want to be treated. Give each other space and respect differences.

[About sex life]

The questioner said there has been no sex life since May. It may be once a month and not good. Maybe this is because you haven't been together long and don't have experience. You can learn slowly.

1: It seems like he's not interested in sex and doesn't want to be intimate. Maybe this is because you've just started and haven't found a comfortable way with each other.

If he's experienced, the questioner will also worry.

Maybe he's a traditional guy and hasn't started yet.

2: Your environment can affect things. If you feel constrained with your family, you can learn to let go when you have your own home.

3: Talk and watch a movie before having sex. Sex will happen naturally when people are relaxed and happy.

4: Make memories, buy perfume, nice underwear, and make the other person attracted to you.

5: Encourage your partner to communicate more. If communication hurts your partner's self-esteem, they will lose confidence.

It's useless to argue about sex. The most important thing is to get affirmation and encouragement.

6: As long as the other person is healthy, you should believe that things can improve over time. Sex is important, but don't doubt the other person. Discovering the other person's strengths will help your relationship and sex life.

7: The room's atmosphere and hygiene are important.

8: Explore each other's bodies. See what each other likes.

Appreciate each other every day. Be grateful for your partner's love and hard work. Enjoy the small blessings and sweet moments.

Express your feelings.

Love is a two-person thing. It needs to be maintained through joint efforts, mutual love and equal treatment.

Don't take anything for granted or assume the other person should do things.

Take this for granted.

During the relationship, there was encouragement, gratitude, and a response to every effort and test.

[Two families]

1: Don't criticize so much. Get to know each other better. You're still young, so learn about marriage and relationships with your in-laws slowly.

2. His family has kept them waiting and stood them up many times since the engagement began.

You can see how much they care about it. Many people, especially politicians, care about choosing a wedding date.

3: Be tolerant.

When it comes to the wedding, the two families discuss things with each other and have to compromise. It's disrespectful and belittling to demand that the other side listen to you.

If they look down on your family, I don't think the other party will agree to let their son marry you.

4: Weddings are a big responsibility, so let your parents handle it.

The original poster stays neutral while your parents focus on your relationship before marriage.

Saying goodbye to your parents will be hard.

This shows you care about your parents.

Maybe each parent is worried about their child preparing for the wedding.

But there will be conflicts, and they will be happy about it.

5: Parents argue with each other. It's okay to argue, just express your thoughts.

Otherwise, it will be hard to get along after you get married.

6: The original poster said that "the old people in his family" aren't the main reason.

If you get married, your in-laws will be your parents. Respect them and thank your parents for helping you.

7: Many weddings are under pressure during the epidemic, especially for civil servants. There are venue and guest restrictions.

These are some personal suggestions.

Bless you.

I love you.

Hello, question asker! I'm Jiang 61.

Thank you for recommending the platform and for trusting us to work together to answer your questions and help you make a choice. You ask, "We got married and got a marriage license, but now we're facing a divorce crisis. The answer is simple: we should get a divorce."

I empathize with your situation and understand the challenges you're facing. Let me reassure you first, and then I will provide guidance on whether to pursue a divorce or not. Listen to your heart.

1. A conflictual relationship

1⃣️, Sexual life

After May, there was no sex life, just once a month, and it was of poor quality. You were sexually cold to each other and resisted intimate contact. Talking with him about your sexual relationship and arguing about it were ineffective.

I need to know what your sex life was like before May. Did something happen between you after May?

When did you get married?

2. Wedding date

From your introduction, it is clear that your boyfriend's parents are difficult, strong-willed people who do not respect others. They are deliberately delaying the wedding date and refusing to engage in any discussion with you.

Your parents have made many compromises and put up with a lot in order to make your life easier in the future. In the end, they reached their limit and had a fight over the finalization of the wedding date.

3⃣️, Arguments

You and your boyfriend argue a lot because you think he is at fault. He admits that he is at fault but refuses to change. You describe his actions as "worse than ever," which leaves you speechless.

4⃣️, Mama's boy

Your boyfriend is a mama's boy with double standards. He expects you to be what he wants, but refuses to be what you want.

5⃣️, erratic

My boyfriend is inconsistent and often mentions divorce, but then backs down and says he doesn't want to. He says he'll pick you up, but then doesn't.

He is also unreliable. He often leaves you hanging.

In front of your parents, he spoke incoherently and demanded that you accompany him to the psychologist before he would let you decide whether to divorce or not.

2. The problem

1⃣️, the influence of personality and attachment types

Your boyfriend is indecisive, not good at expressing himself, stubborn, not easily repentant, and somewhat indifferent. He has a calm personality, which is characterized by being slow and deliberate, cautious, gentle and stable, and seeking harmony.

? Personality

From your description, it is clear that your boyfriend is indecisive, not good at expressing himself, stubborn, not easily repentant, and somewhat indifferent. He undoubtedly has a calm personality.

A calm personality is characterized by:

These individuals are slow and deliberate, cautious, gentle, and stable, and they seek harmony.

He's easy to get along with, comfortable with life, a critical thinker, and tolerant.

He is slow and lazy, not easily repentant, not fond of expressing himself, and indifferent to others.

Your attachment type is:

From your description, it is clear that your boyfriends have an avoidant attachment style. People with this style tend to have the following characteristics:

Avoidant attachment types are often fearful of intimacy and distrustful of others. They tend to withdraw before a relationship has a chance to turn in a positive direction, are suspicious and cold in love, and believe that others are unreliable or too eager to commit.

They fundamentally avoid and reject intimacy. Your relationship with your boyfriend is a clear example of this. After receiving the marriage certificate, he felt alienated from intimacy, as if he were avoiding it. He began to avoid deepening the relationship.

You

You are impatient, sometimes aggressive, and expect your boyfriend to obey you, care for you, love you, be action-oriented, and have a short temper. You are a radical personality.

A radical personality has:

These individuals are strong-willed, action-oriented, energetic, and achievement-oriented.

Advantages: courageous and decisive, persevering, not afraid of difficulties, highly self-disciplined.

Disadvantages: short-tempered, lack of empathy, stubborn, arrogant.

Type of attachment

You are angry at his indifference and lose your temper, complaining about it. You expect him to love you, but he never gives you the love you want. When you nag too much, he proposes divorce. You have an anxious attachment.

Anxious attachment people invest all their feelings in a relationship, but often find that the other person does not want the relationship to develop as closely as they would like. This lack of intimacy can make you feel insecure, and sometimes you worry that your partner does not value you as much as you value them.

Anxious attachment people are always on their guard in intimate relationships. They constantly ponder every move of the other person and fear unstable relationships.

Your relationship is defined by a pattern of anxious pursuit and avoidance. This dynamic makes both of you uncomfortable, and your boyfriend's avoidant tendencies drive him to avoid the relationship. This is the current state of your relationship.

Your attachment patterns determine this.

2. The influence of the original family

His parents-in-law are inconsiderate, stubborn, strong-willed, and arbitrary people. They keep changing their minds about the wedding date. Your boyfriend has developed a superficially pleasing coping style because he knows it doesn't matter what he says. He has to do what his parents want.

He will also sometimes follow his parents' coping model, hoping to be in control and show masculinity. In your presence, he will display an accusatory coping model.

The accommodating coping style is a clear sign of low self-worth.

People who are pleasing to others ignore themselves and have a low sense of inner value. They often reveal this in their words, saying things like "It's all my fault" or "I want to make you happy."

They behave in an overly kind manner and are used to apologizing and begging.

The blame-based coping model is flawed.

People who are accusatory tend to ignore others, are used to attacking and criticizing, and blame others for everything. They often say things like, "It's all your fault" and "What's wrong with you?" in their speech.

Those who blame others are constantly annoyed and blame other people or the environment to protect themselves. Blaming others shows contempt and is about considering one's own situation and feelings, not caring about others.

The fact is, both coping styles exist. It depends on the situation which way he will choose to present himself.

You tend to cope with stress by looking at your partner unfavorably, accusing them, and hoping they'll accept your views and obey you.

3⃣️, the running-in period

This is the situation that most newlyweds encounter. It's inevitable that there will be conflicts since the people from the two families have different personalities, living habits, preferences, and cultural backgrounds.

Change others.

Character and the living conditions of their original family are two reasons for the constant conflicts in your lives. The other reason is the one mentioned earlier: you both want to reform the other person into the way you want them to be.

In a speech on communication, Taiwanese famous speaker Professor Huang Zhizhong stated, "No one wants to be changed because that means I'm wrong. And no one wants to admit that I'm wrong."

This will lead to endless arguments.

You're not adapting to each other.

Disagreements and conflicts are inevitable. You must learn to accommodate each other, integrate, and finally achieve harmony. This is the state of your new family.

This is the fear of marriage state.

Your boyfriend's avoidance of marital life is directly related to his life in his original family. When they were young, they were often regarded as "understanding children" because they didn't need to establish a relationship with their mothers. However, it wasn't that they didn't need to, it was just that they couldn't do it.

The mother is busy working or there are other circumstances, or there are many family members, and in short, the child cannot be taken care of. This child always plays alone, and over time, what began as discomfort and dislike will develop into a habit.

The mother is busy working or there are other circumstances, or there are many family members. It is simply not possible to take care of the child. This child always plays alone, and over time, it will develop from initial discomfort and dislike to a habit.

You are also worried about this state recurring in your life with your partner, which makes you feel less intimate. This is also a state of fear of marriage.

3. How to Deal with It

1. Transform the attachment relationship.

You can change yourself more easily than you can demand changes from others. If you want to achieve harmony in a relationship, you must first change your attachment style. Let yourself go from an anxious attachment style to a secure attachment style.

You must have a secure attachment.

A secure attachment means you're emotionally approachable. You feel at ease depending on others and being depended on.

They are not worried about being alone or not being accepted. This type of person is open to love and is confident in their ability to devote themselves wholeheartedly to a relationship and enjoy it. They can also leave a relationship calmly when necessary.

Building trust is key.

People with secure attachments know they are worthy of love and trust. They believe in relationships that feel and give care, and give others the experience of intimacy, emotional support, and understanding. They are not afraid of being abandoned or of being close to others because they easily establish stable and trusting relationships.

They attract all kinds of people around them. They trust others and know that their actions are harmless.

You have to believe in yourself and trust others if you want to truly change.

Build self-confidence and a sense of security.

You must re-establish a secure attachment relationship. You need to believe that you are safe and that he is trustworthy. You need to consciously perceive and change yourself in this way. You must trust yourself and your attachment relationship will move towards a secure direction.

2. Change your communication response model.

Satir identifies five distinct ways people deal with stress: blaming, pleasing, over-rationalizing, crossing out, and consistent coping.

Consistency is the goal. Satir's model is based on a high sense of self-worth and achieves harmonious interaction between the self, others, and the situation.

People who adopt this model demonstrate an inner awareness in their speech, consistency between expression and speech, inner harmony and balance, and a relatively high sense of self-worth.

When you care about your boyfriend's communication, you don't try to win him over, control him, or ignore others. You simply respond to problems from a perspective that considers both yourself and others while being fully aware of the current situation.

Your words and emotions must convey the same message to achieve consistent communication. Communication is not about accusations, appeasement, cross-examinations, or being overly rational. Only in this way can both sides achieve consistency.

3⃣️, Get through the teething period smoothly.

Accept him.

And living habits.

Accept your boyfriend's habits. Improving intimacy starts with respecting other people's habits. Accept your boyfriend, and you'll stop complaining about him and start enjoying your relationship.

You will feel happy and relaxed.

His behavior is unacceptable.

Accepting your boyfriend's way of doing things doesn't mean you think what he's doing is right or wrong. It just means you accept that he's doing it. When you accept him, you don't just focus on the behavior and ignore the motives. You treat his actions correctly, understand the motives behind the actions, and lay a further foundation for deepening your mutual understanding.

Expressions of love

If your boyfriend shows a lack of love for you, it's likely because he's not used to this kind of approach. Take the initiative to show your love, and he'll interact with you.

Everyone understands love differently, and the way they express and receive love is different for everyone. Dr. Gary Chapman categorizes the way people express and receive love into five "languages of love": "affirming words," "quality time," "exchanging gifts," "acts of service," and "physical touch."

Affirming words are essential.

Everyone needs praise and affirmation, whether friends, colleagues, lovers, or spouses. Give them more positive feedback to deepen their feelings for each other.

Moments of care

Precious moments are those wonderful moments and memories shared by both parties. These can be anything from a candlelit dinner to doing something meaningful together.

Accept gifts.

Exchanging gifts on important holidays is a ritual that strengthens relationships. The ritual itself, as well as the gift, will bind you and your partner together.

Service actions

Do what the other person wants you to do and make them happy. It's as simple as that.

Make physical contact.

Holding hands, hugging, and other forms of physical contact can and will increase the affection between you. It is a manifestation of love and a silent language of love.

Master the five languages of love and watch the intimacy between you grow. Your boyfriend will get to know your way of interacting and express the love he's been holding back. You'll get the relationship you want.

Questioner, give yourself and him time to adjust. Take care of him with love. I believe you will see changes in your relationship.

I wish you well!

Hello, I am Xin Tan, and I'm here to support you as Coach Fei Yun.

I can appreciate your perspective. In many traditional views, it is expected that a married couple should make the best of their situation and try to understand each other.

Now that you have registered your marriage, you are a legal couple, and all that is missing is a wedding to announce your marriage to the world. However, you are facing a divorce crisis, which has put you in a difficult position. On the one hand, if you divorce, you may have to face the stigma of being "divorced" and be considered a "second marriage" when you remarry. On the other hand, if you choose to get married, you may have to bear the loneliness of a sexless marriage in the future.

I want to give you a warm hug. I'm so happy to hear that your family loves and supports you very much. It's understandable that they might have different opinions when it comes to your parents, but I'm sure they're doing it out of love and protection for you. It's so good to know that you have the support of your family and parents, which is the greatest comfort for you. Let's analyze and discuss together:

It might be helpful to view marriage as something that is for your own benefit, rather than for the benefit of others.

For thousands of years, traditional Chinese thinking has placed great pressure on women in marriage, especially in terms of sex. It is worth noting that ancient monuments to virtuous women and martyrs were built on the premise of sacrificing women's sexual needs.

It would be beneficial to discuss sex and love openly and honestly. The Chinese proverb "food, sex, and love" illustrates the significance of sex in people's lives. In particular, within the context of marriage, it is important to recognize that not only is love a crucial element, but also that sex plays a vital role in maintaining the durability and stability of the marriage.

It seems that the divorce crisis you mentioned may be related to differing values regarding sex. In recent times, the issue of the "sexless marriage" has become a topic of growing concern within society. If there are no underlying health issues, a period of a month without sexual intimacy could be perceived as a "sexless marriage."

You are in your 20s and 30s, a time of life when many men and women experience a strong sex drive. It is also common for newlyweds to have a strong sex drive and engage in high-quality sexual activity.

I'm not sure how you communicate with your partner, but it might be helpful to ask him if he has any secrets or if there's any psychological trauma that could be affecting things.

Could I ask whether the other person's attitude is positive and motivated to change, or whether it is passive and evasive?

2. Conflict between the two families

It might also be helpful to consider the role of the parents on both sides in your marriage and relationship.

It is important to remember that marriage is not just a matter of the man and the woman. It is also about finding common ground in interests and hobbies, as well as in living habits. At the same time, marriage also involves two families. For example, holding a wedding is to inform the two families/clans of your union.

As you mentioned, the conflict between your parents is not the primary cause of your marital difficulties. It might not be necessary to dwell on this issue at this time.

I believe that the key to resolving this issue lies in improving your communication and attitude towards each other.

If the other person responds positively, it would be beneficial. Seeking medical treatment or professional psychological counseling may help resolve the issue. If the other person avoids the issue and does not seem interested in improving, it can be quite stressful for you.

Given that you have only been together for less than a year, it is understandable that you are still getting to know each other. However, it would be beneficial to start learning more about each other's past experiences.

It might be helpful to try to get to know more about his family and friends, and whether there are any hidden problems.

Ultimately, it is up to you to decide whether taking a step forward will lead to happiness or if stopping in time is the better choice. To make an informed decision, it is essential to gather as much information and resources as possible for analysis and judgment. In essence, happiness in life is the key.

I hope the above is helpful to you, and I hope it helps the world too. I love you.

If you would like to continue the conversation, you are welcome to click "Find a coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom. I would be delighted to communicate and grow with you one-on-one.