The nightmare of the college entrance examination has lasted for five years, and now are you infinitely inferior and self-blame due to it?

It's okay to feel like you're not as good as you could be. We all have areas where we could do better.

First of all, it seems like those negative emotions have been hanging around for a while now, and they're starting to feel pretty intense. It's been four years since you took the exam, and it's still affecting you a lot.

You're a hard worker and you're really motivated in your studies, work, and life in general. That's why you know that you're constantly tense and have more negative emotions.

Secondly, if this state of mind continues to occur frequently, it's not good for you. It can really take a toll on your academic life and physical and mental health. It's important to recognize that one failure doesn't define you. You have so much to look forward to! You'll graduate, fall in love, get married, and find a job. Once you get a job, you'll see that education is just one piece of the puzzle. What you really need to strive for is your character, integrity, and overall quality.

So, there's absolutely no need to worry about this! It's not as bad as it seems.

Third, the college entrance exam is very important to everyone. It's totally normal to feel anxious about it! When you're feeling stressed, it's common to find yourself repeating and dreaming about the college entrance exam. This is your brain's way of relieving pressure and finding an emotional outlet.

So, it's really important to understand and view your current emotions correctly. It might be because of things like postgraduate entrance exams or graduating from university that you're feeling really nervous right now.

You've got this! You can always rely on yourself to get out of an emotional predicament. Find things you like and are good at, such as music and sports, to distract yourself and release your stress. You will gradually feel better.

You've got this!

Hello! I don't know if I should call you a senior or a junior, but I'm excited to connect with you either way! I've been in your shoes and I know how it feels to fail the college entrance exam 20 times. But I also know how to turn that around! I'm here to share my story and I'm confident it will inspire you to do the same!

My story is an amazing one!

My parents were always fighting, and my grandparents and I often had to move out to escape the fighting. My parents divorced when I was eight, which meant I got to live with my dad!

My father had a bad temper and sometimes lost his temper with my grandparents. I had to pretend I didn't hear it and continue studying in my room. I went to an elite school in junior high school and felt deeply that my family background was ordinary. This made me realize that I could only rely on myself in the future and that no one could help me. I was particularly inferior, but I was excited to prove myself wrong!

Ever since I was a child, I have felt that I have a poor learning ability. I could never beat others in various competitions, and I could not even understand the basic syllabus. It always took me much longer than others to catch up, but I was determined to succeed! My inferiority complex meant that I would always write a lot of content for one question in a reading comprehension question in Chinese, and then the teacher simply didn't want to read it, hahahaha.

I had placed all the meaning of life in studying, doing my best to try to hide my inferiority with the results of my hard work. Then, I failed the college entrance exam (Zhejiang Province has two chances for the college entrance exam). But that didn't stop me! I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and kept going. The sky wasn't going to collapse, my beliefs weren't going to collapse, and the meaning of all my efforts wasn't going to disappear. I was going to find a new meaning in life!

... At that time, it was the darkest moment in my life so far, and I truly experienced what it meant to be completely disheartened. But I also learned so much from that experience! At that time, I was diagnosed with moderate depression, and I have been taking medication and receiving psychological counseling ever since.

There are so many incredible stories from this period that I can't even begin to recount them all!

Pain and change:

In short, I still can't face my former teachers and classmates. But I think after these two years of trials, I finally understand: this is the impermanence of fate. And it's made me realize that I can face the future with a positive attitude!

Fate has brought me face to face with all this suffering, but it has also made me more gentle with people and taught me to appreciate the good things I have.

I have already started to heal from the pain of my past. When he cries and feels like he's not good enough, I hug him and say, "When you were little, your mom and dad didn't give you enough love. I'm sorry for them. The expectations that I couldn't meet in the past were the result of me doing my best at that moment. I already did my best, no matter the result or what others think. We must love ourselves!

I am your most solid support for the long, exciting life ahead!

The deep-rooted inferiority complex I had as a child also gave me a strong sense of transcendence, which is expressed in my surprisingly strong self-discipline. Wherever I am inferior to others, I force myself to catch up, and often after the pain, I suddenly realize that I have repeatedly caught the last train, and I have already boarded the train to the future—and it's a great feeling!

I am so grateful that after I failed the college entrance exam, my parents discussed what major to apply for for three days and nights, despite our differences, and consulted the relevant teachers numerous times, so that I could go to a actually quite good university without wasting any points. Not achieving the ideal score allowed me to rank relatively high in this university and enjoy various resources and opportunities. I am so thankful that I have met at least three close friends here, as well as many very good teachers, who rescued me, accompanied me, and encouraged me when my darkest depression erupted. I am also grateful to myself. It is my diligence, hard work, and steadfastness that have allowed a child from a small third-tier city who has suffered from parental neglect, strict discipline, bullying at school, and suppressed inferiority complexes to gradually fight back and come this far. Now I can also slowly tell myself, "I can."

The following is a quote I posted yesterday to encourage the questioner, who is about to graduate. I really hope the questioner can slowly reconcile with the past, and that after the pain comes growth!

HAPPY GRADUATION!

I was so busy that I could hardly catch my breath—and I loved it!

I felt a wonderful sense of tranquility late at night!

Life is full of setbacks, but it's also full of successes!

The key is how you deal with adversity—and you can do it!

All of your experiences are just stories waiting to be told!

And the best part is, you get to choose your state of mind!

With a grateful heart, you move forward, ready to take on whatever comes your way!

Every step is an opportunity to make a difference!

"Education is everything." This sentence is absolute.

You have high expectations of yourself, but you feel inferior because you don't meet them.

Who is stopping you?

Do I not allow myself?

Or is it my family?

What happens when I can't do it?

What happens to my family when I fail?

Can I fail?

What makes it hard for me to allow myself?

...

The problem may be tricky, but it's a process of unravelling it.

As children, we identify with our parents and believe their words are true.

But do parents always know the truth? No.

Parents have limits. They have life experiences and knowledge.

They may have high expectations of you, but these are just expectations.

As a child, it's okay to meet your parents' expectations. But if you ignore reality and let them control you, you'll lose yourself.

1. Don't let your parents' expectations control you.

"You can have high expectations of me, but I can also go to an ordinary university."

2. Evaluate yourself objectively.

"I learn well and I'm empathetic."

A person's value should not be based on their education alone. Society is diverse, and anyone can succeed in their field.

People in their 20s compare their academic qualifications. In their 30s or 40s, they won't say, "I was so good at high school" or "I was so great at university."

Your education doesn't define you. Some well-educated people have trouble adapting and are unhappy. Others with average educations use their strengths to achieve their goals.

3. Look at what others do and think about how you can do it too.

What can I do to improve my situation?

Many people with average degrees got better jobs by taking postgraduate exams. But if you don't do anything about your average qualifications, your situation won't improve.

Ask yourself, "What can I do?" Even if you can only do a little, it's better than staying put.

Let go of the past and grieve.

After grieving, think about your future goals and how to achieve them. Then take action.

I hope this helps.

Dear question asker, I am honored to answer your question. First of all, I would like to say that I took the college entrance exam in 2003, and my results were just average. Perhaps the number of people taking the college entrance exam at your age is even higher, and the competition among students is even fiercer, which may lead you to place more importance on the first degree than we do.

In recent years, all industries in China have been facing challenges. It's worth noting that employers also attach great importance to the first degree, which can sometimes create pressure for those who don't have an outstanding first degree. First of all, your high school foundation should be strong, but at that time, your psychological quality could have been more developed, and you may have faced difficulties in mathematics, which resulted in you not being able to get into the school you wanted to go to.

This suggests that, in critical moments, a person's stable psychological quality may be more valuable than their abilities. In some cases, psychological quality may limit the expression of one's abilities.

It is important to recognize that learning is a lifelong process, not a one-time event. Exam scores only reflect your academic level at a specific point in time and do not necessarily reflect your overall achievements or potential. Focusing excessively on your first degree can lead to a skewed perception that if your first degree is not highly regarded, it might negatively impact your overall life trajectory. This can lead to a sense of self-deprecation and reluctance to embrace challenges in other areas of life. It's essential to recognize that there are numerous individuals who have achieved remarkable success despite not having a college degree. I will not list them here, but I encourage you to explore and learn about their inspiring stories.

? As evidenced by these statements, it seems that you may lack confidence in life. You appear to believe that your self-worth is not contingent on your contributions, but rather on how others evaluate you. With the concern that having a less than optimal first degree may lead to being overlooked when applying for graduate school, and that you may face similar challenges at work, it might be helpful to take a moment to calm down and focus on doing your best. Whether others view you negatively is not something that should cause you distress.

Life is about personal growth and fulfillment, not about pleasing others. I am delighted to have you in 1983. The world and I love you!