The pain from my original family, every time I don't receive my parents' response, I truly feel disappointed.

Dear question asker, I can perceive the confusion you are experiencing, and I extend my support to you.

You inquire, "When I express my emotional states to my parents, I receive no response. Is it possible that they are indifferent to my feelings?"

I am of the opinion that this is not the case. Rather, it seems that your parents were also influenced by their own family of origin.

It would be beneficial to the situation if you could arrange a discussion with your parents about their own families.

It is plausible that during their upbringing, they did not receive a response when they expressed their emotions to their parents.

Subsequently, after a prolonged period of exposure, they will come to recognize the necessity of responding to their children's emotional expressions.

It is not that they are deliberately unresponsive; rather, they are uncertain about how to respond.

In psychology, there is a concept known as the "imitation deficit." This theory posits that individuals who lack certain skills or experiences are unable to effectively transfer those skills or experiences to others.

In the event that one is unable to accept one's parents' failure to respond to one's emotional expressions, it is recommended that one establish a mode of communication with them.

If the issue is not discussed, there is no opportunity for improvement on the part of the parents.

If you express this to your parents, you might consider using a line of inquiry such as the following: "Mom and Dad, I am disappointed that you do not respond to my emotional needs. I feel that you do not care about me. Of course, I do not intend to blame you, as I am aware that you were also influenced by your own parents. As first-time parents, it is understandable that you may have limitations in how you respond."

It would be beneficial to observe the nature of the feedback that your parents provide in response to your expression of these sentiments.

It is my sincere hope that the problem you are currently experiencing can be resolved in the near future.

At this juncture, my thoughts are solely directed towards the aforementioned points.

It is my sincere hope that my above answer will prove both helpful and inspiring to you, the questioner. As the answerer, I endeavor to provide thoughtful and well-researched responses on a daily basis.

Best wishes from Yixinli!

The aforementioned points are presented for consideration.

Good day, To whom it may concern,

It appears that you are experiencing distress due to perceived neglect from your parents.

Furthermore, you appear to be experiencing a high level of confusion and perplexity.

Please take a moment to reflect on your statements. It appears that you believe parents should be actively attentive to their children, regardless of their emotional state.

They require a response from their parents. The aspect you find most challenging to accept is your parents' neglect of you, which is the easiest to understand.

This is a source of considerable frustration for you.

They are unaware of your early experiences and the circumstances that led to your inability to tolerate being ignored by your parents.

In general, the anger that an individual may feel towards their parents for neglecting them can be attributed to the following factors:

First, because their parents could not see them, they felt an extreme sense of fear and an unbearable fear.

The individual in question displays anger.

Secondly, it is not possible to control the situation when you lose control. The response of the parent will affect how the baby feels about their own existence.

Failure to receive a response from parents can have a significantly detrimental impact on an infant's sense of omnipotent narcissism.

Third, a sense of inadequacy may result in the erroneous assumption that parental neglect is the cause. This can lead to feelings of anger.

The underlying issue is a sense of self-blame and guilt, which can be perceived as an attack on the self.

It is crucial to express yourself more assertively. When your parents are unresponsive, it is important to communicate your needs.

Please describe your true feelings and the underlying needs.

This is counselor Yao, continuing to support and care for you.

Hello, It's like seeing someone in person when you read their words.

Even though the description is just a few lines long, I can tell you're disappointed in your family relationships. It seems like your parents don't understand you, but you really want them to. You know what?

It's tough to be so in-tune with your own needs when you're feeling so many different emotions. But you've done a great job of that, so now you just need to make a few small adjustments.

Let's talk about this situation.

You say you're already a mother, but you feel bad when your parents don't reciprocate your happiness or unhappiness. I'd like to know more about this.

1. What exactly does "happy and unhappy" refer to?

2. Do your parents understand why you're sharing this with them?

3. How would you feel if your parents understood why you were sharing?

I get where you're coming from. I want to say that I understand your desire to share your emotions with your parents. But there's an uncontrollable factor in the process: we don't know if our parents can understand what we really want to say. Because we and our parents belong to two different generations, we are not sure if their level of understanding is the same as ours.

It's not unusual for kids to get no response from their parents on certain things.

So, we've identified a potential solution: what ways can we adapt and respond to our parents' potential lack of understanding?

First of all, when we encounter happy or unhappy events, our emotions are of course very important. With that in mind, here are a few options to consider:

1. Do you tell your parents?

2. How much do you share with them?

3. If parents can't fully understand, what can we look for to tell if they're reacting the way we want them to?

It's worth thinking about these three aspects before sharing with your parents.

Secondly, no matter how we feel, we should always take care of our own emotions. There are often differences in how we understand things compared to our parents, and these differences mean that our parents can't always give us the emotional support we need.

And then you say, "I'm not a kid anymore, so I have to act like I'm not upset." Honey, maybe we can look at this from a different angle: it's that "we can choose not to reveal the truth."

(Sometimes, keeping a few things to yourself is a good way to protect yourself.)

Simply put, we can and should express our emotions, but we might need to adjust the way we express them. For example:

When you come across something that makes you happy, take a moment to celebrate it for yourself.

When you're feeling down, let it out! (Like the release on the platform this time, which was done really well!)

When you're sharing things, try to be selective. For example, decide who you're sharing with and how often. This will help you get more positive feedback.

Okay, time is up, so we'll wrap up here. I hope the above sharing and responses can give you some inspiration to adjust from this sense of internal conflict.

Take care of yourself.

I hope that my response will prove to be of some assistance to you.

Indeed, during their formative years, children universally aspire to be valued and cared for by their parents. When they fail to receive the desired level of responsiveness and care from their parents, they may experience feelings of self-doubt, a sense of being unimportant, and even doubt the value of their existence. This is a normal reaction. If they attempt to conceal their distress, they are engaging in a form of defense and protection, driven by an underlying fear of being hurt and ignored once more. However, this does not address the underlying issue, as their needs remain unmet. Nevertheless, they do not have to explicitly request these needs. Instead, they can gain insight into their own perspective and learn to meet their needs in a more constructive manner, thereby healing past wounds and achieving personal fulfillment.

It is this author's recommendation that you:

It is essential to gain an understanding of one's own needs and to identify those that are fundamental.

It is a fundamental human desire to be loved and to be noticed. From the moment of birth, infants rely on their caregivers to provide them with timely and accurate responses, which serve to establish a sense of reliability, self-worth, safety, and resilience. However, when these needs are not met, individuals may experience doubt about the relationship and their own worth, leading to feelings of insecurity.

It is therefore essential to gain an understanding of one's own psychology, to recognize the influence of familial upbringing on one's self-perception, and to identify one's own shortcomings and fundamental needs. The desire for love, responsiveness, visibility, and attention are all typical human requirements that should not be repressed or denied.

2. It is important to recognize that parents are not always able to fulfill all of our psychological needs. However, this does not imply that they do not love us.

Indeed, parents are also ordinary individuals, and they too possess inherent limitations. It is not that they are deliberately withholding responses and attention; rather, they lack the capacity to attend to and respond to their children in the manner they desire due to a lack of experience with such interactions during their own upbringing. They perceive this as an expression of love, a form of reciprocal attachment. However, their actions may not align with the emotional needs of their children. It is crucial to recognize the significance of one's emotions and to advocate for their needs. Communicating these needs explicitly can facilitate a more nuanced understanding of the desired forms of love and attachment. While changing parental behaviors is not always a realistic expectation, expressing one's needs can foster a sense of ease and reduce disappointment.

It is important to note that these psychological needs cannot be fulfilled by others. Failure to request fulfillment of these needs does not indicate that they can be ignored. Instead, it is essential to identify the most effective means of satisfying these needs and to seek out individuals who can meet them.

3. It is imperative to cultivate the ability to serve as one's own inner parent, to prioritize self-care, and to fulfill one's intrinsic needs.

A person's authentic independence emerges when they learn to serve as their own inner parent. The concept of the "inner parent" refers to the most influential aspect of our inner being. One's actions towards oneself mirror the expectations one has of one's parents. One's desires are fulfilled, and one's inner being is wholly satisfied.

In instances where an individual experiences emotional states such as sadness or happiness and does not receive a corresponding emotional response from their parents, they may experience negative emotions and a desire for their parents to demonstrate care and attention towards them. During such periods, individuals learn to respond to themselves, perceive themselves, provide themselves with comfort, and offer themselves care and attention. This process can be conceptualized as the act of being one's own inner parent.

For further reading on the subject of self-care, one might consider the book The Power of Self-Care, which provides a comprehensive introduction to the practice of self-care. An individual who is able to care for themselves effectively is likely to possess the capacity to serve as a nurturing inner parent. This is a skill that can be developed through conscious effort. In order to identify one's own needs, it is essential to differentiate between these needs and the expectations placed upon one by one's parents. Instead, it is beneficial to seek out individuals or groups who can provide a supportive and responsive environment. This may include joining a support group or engaging with other forms of psychological counseling. In such settings, the unconditional acceptance and positive attention of the counselor can foster a sense of self-worth and respect. Additionally, spending time with individuals who can understand and respect one's needs can also be beneficial. These individuals can provide the attention and care that one desires.

It is of the utmost importance to learn to satisfy one's own deep needs, to value oneself, to care about oneself, to like oneself, to appreciate oneself, and to love oneself well. When one begins to love oneself, it will become evident that the whole world will love one in return.

I wish you the best of luck and extend my sincerest wishes for your success.

Hello. I give you a 360-degree hug.

From your description, it's evident that you have significant grievances and dissatisfaction with your parents. These stem from your parents' failure to recognize your needs, respond to your feelings, and meet your expectations.

There are three points here. The first is your expectations of your parents. You expect them to pay attention to your emotions, to care about you, and to respond to you. These are your needs.

The second point is the response of your parents to your needs. It is clear from your description that your parents do not respond to your happiness or unhappiness.

The third point is that you are disappointed and a little hurt by your parents' lack of response. You wonder if you are not good at expressing yourself. These are all your emotions.

These three points form a cycle: you expect a response from your parents, they don't respond, you are disappointed and upset at their lack of response, and you expect even more from them. This cycle continues, creating a vicious circle.

You occupy two points and your parents occupy one point of the three that make up this cycle. You can break this cycle by loosening any one of these three points.

For example, you expect your parents to respond to your expectations. Change this to, "I no longer expect my parents to respond."

I am an adult and I take responsibility for my own emotions. I can also take responsibility for my own emotions. If I'm unhappy, I will go to my husband, friends, or other channels to make myself happy, not just rely on my parents.

When you stop expecting a response from your parents, you stop feeling hurt or disappointed. If you don't expect a response, their actions no longer affect you.

Secondly, it is important to understand that parents can and will change their emotional response to you.

For example, when you are unhappy, they ask how you are and support you. This is what you expect, and you deserve it.

You have communicated with your parents more than once, and they simply do not agree with you. They may even disagree with your emotions. They may not think you should be unhappy, they may think your unhappiness is not worth mentioning, or they may think you are being oversensitive.

It is also possible that they don't know how to care for you or pay attention to you. Their response is simply not what you want.

And there's another thing. They won't change. It's not going to happen. The environment they grew up in, their experiences, their role as parents, etc., all determine that they won't. And it's also very difficult for them to change.

Expecting your parents to change to break this cycle is unrealistic. Instead, turn this bad cycle into positive and constructive feedback.

Changing yourself is hard enough. Changing others is even harder.

Third, change your feedback on your parents' responses. You are no longer going to feel disappointed, uncomfortable, or uncared for when your parents respond.

Now, change your thinking. Accept that your parents are not capable of giving you the response you want.

You can still have expectations of your parents, but you are no longer attached to whether or not those expectations are met. It doesn't matter whether they are met or not.

Expectations are a form of love. Disappointment and suffering are also forms of love.

As you can see, changing any one of the three points will break the cycle. However, the most effective way is for you to change yourself. This could mean changing expectations or changing the feedback on parental responses.

From your description, it is clear that you are still a little girl who longs to be loved and cared for by her parents, despite being married and a mother. This is likely related to the parenting model you experienced as a child, the failure to complete separation, and the establishment of your own sense of security. I strongly recommend that you talk to a psychological counselor about this.

The process of raising a child is also a process of healing the wounded inner child. You can heal and grow by raising your child in the way you would like to be treated.

You may have not learned how to get along with your children either. It's possible that you have become the parent that your child has been hurt by. It is therefore recommended that you go for personal growth, heal yourself, and learn how to better accompany your child's growth.

I am a counselor who is often Buddhist and sometimes pessimistic, occasionally motivated, and I love the world and you.

Hello, thank you for your question. I hope that I can provide some helpful suggestions.

It's natural to feel some confusion in your parent-child relationship right now. We've also become parents now, and in our interactions with our children, we can try to put ourselves in our parents' shoes and speculate on why they did what they did.

It would be beneficial to consider additional factors, such as the differences in era, cognitive level, and educational level and philosophy, which may contribute to these variations.

Perhaps it would be more helpful to focus on the process and underlying motives, rather than the outcome.

Could it be that my parents simply don't show much interest in me?

I believe there are two possibilities here.

It is also possible that some parents simply do not have a particular affinity for their children, or perhaps they have a preference for boys over girls, which could potentially influence their feelings towards their daughter.

It is also possible that parents simply do not care about us. Alternatively, it could be that a girl's entire life is centered around the realization that her parents do not love her.

It is also possible that they care about us and love us.

It could be said that this is the general situation. We ourselves have become parents and are aware that giving birth to and raising children is a challenging process. After experiencing the difficulties of childbirth, it is natural to develop a strong bond with one's child. After decades of parenting, the heart becomes attached to the flesh of one's child, and it is understandable that such a bond is formed.

It may be the case that everyone has a different way of expressing love and care. This could lead to a misunderstanding between the two parties, with neither party feeling the care and love from the other.

I must admit that I am somewhat disappointed. Could it be that my feelings are really that unimportant?

I believe the answer to this is that your feelings are naturally very important and need to be noticed and perceived by others.

Sometimes, we may find it challenging to fully empathize with others. To bridge this gap, it's essential to strive for greater reasonableness and objectivity in our communication, ensuring that our expressions are well-structured and organized.

For instance, it is challenging for someone who has not experienced childbirth to fully comprehend the intensity of the pain.

It is important to remember that a mother's feelings are a significant aspect of her life. As a mother's child, relative, partner, or loved one, it is crucial to recognize the importance of respecting and caring for her feelings. Even if one cannot personally relate to the pain of childbirth, it is still essential to show compassion and understanding.

And so on. In our daily lives, it is important to consider the feelings of each individual, as well as those of the people around them.

It would be beneficial for us to also consider the feelings of those who are important to us.

It is possible that parents may sometimes overlook their children's feelings, perhaps because they still see their children as children. Similarly, adults may sometimes neglect to pay attention to the feelings of children.

It's easy to forget that we were once children ourselves. When we were young, we had our own hopes and dreams, and as we grow up, we sometimes forget that children have the same hopes and dreams we once had. It can be helpful to remind our parents to communicate with us and speak directly about our needs.

Could this be the reason why I find it challenging to express myself effectively?

This could be seen as an indication of self-awareness and self-adjustment, as well as an appreciation for the value of communication, praise, and expression in any intimate relationship.

I believe there are two levels of expression in our communication.

One possible reason is that we may not be as effective at expressing ourselves as we would like, which can sometimes result in poor relations or misunderstandings and prevent us from achieving our desired results.

This is something we can all learn from. With the right guidance and support, we can all develop our communication and expression skills to become more confident in expressing ourselves.

Another factor to consider is the other person's neglect.

Even if someone is a master communicator or a great speaker, there are still some obstacles to overcome. If the person listening to them doesn't trust them, doesn't care about them, doesn't know them, and doesn't want to understand or sympathize with them, then it can be challenging for them to make the person listening to them understand them or care about what they have to say.

This brings us back to the initial question. If our parents do not express care and love for us, it may be challenging for us to feel heard and understood, regardless of our communication skills.

It would seem that communication requires that someone in the relationship work towards the same goal in order to achieve the end result.

It is important to remember that maintaining a harmonious family atmosphere requires the efforts of every family member.

Sometimes, the issue may not lie in our ability to express ourselves, but rather in the other person's willingness to work with us.

I wonder how I will be able to face my parents after this. I am no longer a child, so I suppose I must try to appear as though I am not upset.

We are all independent individuals, whether we are children or adults, and we all have the capacity to express our emotions.

If you are happy, you may choose to laugh out loud. If you are unhappy, you might prefer to pout.

Perhaps the key difference is that, as adults, we have the opportunity to develop the ability to solve problems in a way that doesn't affect our social relationships.

For instance, a child may choose to express their distress through a tantrum in public. However, as adults, we have the responsibility to maintain composure, be patient, and even feign happiness, even when faced with challenging circumstances.

It is important to remember that our emotions are normal and can naturally appear and be expressed.

In light of the actual situation, it would be beneficial for us to find different people to express our feelings.

For example, if we are unhappy at work, it would be unwise to complain to our colleagues or badmouth our leaders. What if someone takes it out on us?

It might be helpful to talk to a good friend or our partner to help us regulate our emotions.

Similarly, if we and our partner are unhappy, we may find it challenging to confide in our parents or in-laws. Our parents may worry that there is a problem in our marriage, and our in-laws may perceive our discussions as idle chatter. In such cases, it can be helpful to seek the support of a trusted friend.

Similarly, when we encounter some unhappy events in life, we may find that talking to our parents can be a helpful way to receive understanding and positive feedback. However, in some cases, if our parents don't fully comprehend our situation, we might not receive the feedback we're seeking.

It's also worth noting that this lack of understanding may not necessarily stem from a lack of care or love from parents, or from our inability to express ourselves clearly.

It might be said that the characteristics of each era differ from our own in terms of the information they perceive.

As an illustration, let us consider the case of resigning from one's position at work.

If you're considering leaving your job, you might typically turn to your best friend or spouse because you have a close relationship and are likely to have a good understanding of each other's perspectives. You may feel that the demands of the modern workplace are challenging, that you've encountered difficulties, and that career transitions are a normal and reasonable part of life. In these conversations, you're likely to receive feedback that resonates with you emotionally.

However, if we were to communicate with our parents, there is a possibility that they might accuse us. This is because, in their day, a job was probably seen as a lifelong thing. For instance, my father, who has worked in the same job for 30 or 40 years without changing, might find it difficult to understand why I would change jobs, or that I would encounter some conflicts or difficulties at work.

In such instances, it might be helpful to consider the role of the generation gap in explaining the situation. It is not uncommon for parents to be unable to provide emotional feedback.

Sometimes, when we are experiencing unhappiness in our daily lives, it can be challenging to find someone to talk to. In such instances, it might be helpful to seek out professionals who can listen to us and provide a safe space to express our negative emotions. With their guidance, we can work towards finding solutions to the problems we are facing.

This approach allows us to satisfy our desire to talk, find a solution, and avoid negatively impacting some of the intimate relationships in our daily lives.

I hope that through self-reflection, you can find a solution that works for you and gradually discover a way to communicate with your parents that suits you both.

I just wanted to say that I love you, the world, and I'm here for you!

Good morning, my name is Yu, and I'm a heart exploration coach. I'd like to discuss this topic with you if you're interested.

Psychologists have observed that each of us carries the memory of a child within us, and that this memory can significantly influence our emotions and sense of security. If we can recognize and comfort this inner child when needed, we may find greater happiness in our daily lives.

On the other hand, if the inner child does not receive love and attention, it may result in sensitivity, anxiety, and restlessness, which could potentially lead to psychological trauma.

As the original poster mentioned, I find that when I don't receive a response from my parents, it can be disappointing.

As we grow and develop, we encounter a range of experiences that can potentially lead to various forms of trauma within our inner child, who resides in our subconscious and is deeply embedded within us.

The feedback and behavior of our parents during our childhood is the only way we can understand ourselves. If our parents are always critical and blaming, and we receive no response or are ignored, we may feel internally that "I am not good enough," "I don't deserve it," and we may affirm our own incompetence. Such self-blame and self-attack may in turn aggravate the sense of inferiority, thus making our inner child increasingly inferior.

As the questioner wrote, it would be helpful to understand whether parents are simply unable to care for us in the way we need. It would also be beneficial to consider whether our feelings are truly unimportant. I'm really disappointed.

Could you please tell me how we can heal our inner child and make ourselves strong when we understand the trauma of our inner child?

It is often the case that our vulnerability in the present is shaped by our emotions, which can be influenced by the complexes of our inner children.

If our feelings of inferiority from childhood are not properly acknowledged and soothed, they may resurface when we encounter similar situations in reality, potentially leading to a range of negative emotions such as worry and fear, and even physical reactions.

It is possible that some of our childhood experiences may have caused us some harm. However, we can rely on our own strength to acknowledge the feelings of helplessness and loneliness from the past, accept the self that was unloved, and try to reconcile with ourselves.

When we notice our vulnerable and sensitive emotions, we can try to gently remind ourselves that none of this is our fault and that it's okay to let the emotions flow. It might also be helpful to record what our feelings are at the moment.

Your writing is for your own benefit, so please feel free to express your feelings honestly. This will help us gain insight into the causes and effects of our emotions and identify the underlying issue.

It might be helpful to consider talking to our parents about our childhood experiences. This conversation would not be about assigning blame, but rather about fostering a deeper understanding between us and improving the parent-child relationship. It could also help us to reconcile with the past.

If this is something that is troubling you, it might be helpful to seek the support of a trusted family member or friend. You might also find it beneficial to speak with a counselor, as expressing your emotions can help to relieve the heaviness and blockage in our hearts.

We also try to learn to love ourselves, starting by treating our bodies kindly. We remind ourselves that we have grown up, that we have the strength and ability to protect ourselves, and that we have formed our own nuclear family, with people who love me and people I love. We can affirm and satisfy our own needs, express and communicate our own ideas, and accept and appreciate our imperfect selves. Other people's comments are just a minor incident. It might be helpful to look inward, embrace our inner child, and become our own inner parent. When our core is stable, we will confidently show ourselves.

You might find it helpful to read Embrace Your Inner Child.

Dear questioner, I want you to know that I understand your feelings of disappointment and hurt towards your parents. We have all been there, hoping to receive responses and recognition from the people closest to us, and when these expectations are not met, it is inevitable that we will feel a little hurt.

I want you to know that this does not mean you are not worthy of love or that your feelings are unimportant.

Parents may not always respond as we expect because of their own experiences, emotions, or cognitive limitations.

This does not mean they don't care about you. It simply means they don't know how to express their love and care in the way you want. Everyone's upbringing is unique, and this shapes our different ways of communicating and expressing our emotions.

So, when parents don't respond as we expect, we must try to understand them from a broader perspective. They are probably silently loving you in their own way.

I'm going to tell you a story. There was a little girl who always looked forward to spending more time with her father, but he was always busy at work.

Whenever she expressed her desires to her father, he remained silent. The little girl was disappointed and felt that her father didn't care about her.

One day, she found her father's work diary, which was full of thoughts and concerns about her that he had never expressed. At that moment, she knew that love is sometimes silent, but it is definitely there.

In psychology, there is a concept called "emotional neglect," which refers to the situation where an individual's emotional needs are not given enough attention and satisfaction during growth. This situation affects our emotional expression, making us introverted and not good at expressing our feelings.

You must remember that this is not your fault. Everyone has the right to express their feelings and should be respected and understood.

I'm going to give you some specific advice to help you cope better with this situation.

1. Communicate deeply: Take the initiative to sit down with your parents and communicate your feelings and needs in a clear and honest manner. Make sure they understand your expectations and are willing to meet them.

Communication is a two-way process. Stay open and listen.

2. Express gratitude. Even though you may be disappointed by some of your parents' actions, find something to be grateful for and express your appreciation. This will strengthen your emotional connection and remind them of your love and respect.

3. Get help from a professional counselor if you have trouble communicating with your parents. They can give you specific advice and support to help you handle your relationship with your parents better.

4. Self-healing: Take control of your healing process by reading psychology books, attending emotional expression workshops, or joining support groups. These activities will help you understand and express your feelings more clearly, and improve your emotional coping skills.

5. Set boundaries. You have the right to set healthy boundaries in your relationship with your parents. Understand and accept that your parents may have limitations and shortcomings, but you have the right to protect your emotional space.

Don't let your parents' responses define your value. Learn to meet your own emotional needs independently and autonomously.

Dear questioner, Your feelings are valuable, and you deserve to be loved, understood, and respected. Don't let your parents' limitations define you.

You are already a mother, and you have everything you need to care for yourself and your child. Be brave and express your feelings, and pursue your own happiness!

You will find your own light and warmth in the process.