Too empathetic with the injustice suffered by others, cried for a long time, too hard?

Hello! I'll give you a 360-degree hug.

From your simple question, I can tell you're a very empathetic person, to the point that it makes you feel bad. It's like watching the Three Kingdoms and crying, worrying about the ancients.

Empathy is also called sympathy, understanding, putting oneself in another's shoes, etc. Simply put, it means feeling the pain of others. We can empathize when we see someone else sad or in pain. Empathy is the ability to experience the inner world of others.

I'm not sure when empathy became a popular word and started being used in our everyday conversations. It's also possible that I'm just out of the loop.

I have a feeling this won't last long, though. Empathy was first proposed by American psychologist Carl Rogers, who founded humanism.

I think it's reasonable to assume that this has slowly entered everyday discourse with the development and promotion of psychology in China. But in fact, our ancestors had similar sayings a long time ago, except that foreign monks can chant sutras.

That's a bit of a long way off. What I want to say is that we seem to have been taken over by the word "empathy," or by some people who are using it as a moral club.

But there's a right amount of everything. Too much is just as bad as too little. It's important to maintain a proper balance. It's the same as eating nutritious food: too much is not good, and too little is not enough.

Specifically in terms of empathy, people with weak empathy may not think about others as much, and they may seem unsympathetic and cold. People with too strong an empathy are prone to being sentimental and easily influenced by the emotions of others, which causes more internal conflict and makes them easy to take advantage of.

There are lots of books out there about empathy, but not so many about rational empathy. Here are a few I'd recommend if you want to learn to be rational and empathetic without getting too caught up in other people's lives.

The book The Empathy Trap talks about empathy not being about blindly identifying with other people's emotions and logic. It's more about seeing needs and interacting positively with warmth and boundaries. The content of this book focuses more on why we are always hurt by other people's bad emotions, but less on how to reduce emotional sensitivity.

The book The Empathy Limit also talks about empathy having boundaries. Empathy is a gift, not a curse.

So we can try to control it, be less sensitive and more insensitive, and make our lives and minds feel more comfortable.

As the title suggests, "Getting Rid of Empathy" is a book that encourages us to be rational in our empathy. Empathy can sometimes lead us to be a bit narrow-minded and prejudiced, while rationality can help us to be more aware of our actions and think more wisely.

There's also a book called "The Science of Evil: On Empathy and the Origins of Cruelty" that's gotten mixed reviews. It's worth a read for some food for thought about the origins of empathy.

That's a bit off topic. Let's get back to how you can reduce your tendency to be overly empathetic.

If you generalize, it means to be a little less sentimental, to look at yourself more, and to worry less about other people's business. Everyone has their own destiny. If others really suffer from unfair treatment, we should help within our means, but we must remember to protect ourselves first. If we can't help, then tell yourself that you did your best and you are powerless.

But you need to set some limits on your empathy and protect your emotions. If you cross the line, just remind yourself, "I'm only one person, and I have limited abilities. I'll do my best."

Of course, you can make yourself stronger and more financially secure so that even if you are too empathetic, you also have enough resources to help others. Many of the wealthiest people are even involved in charity work.

I'm often a Buddhist and sometimes a pessimist, but I also try to be an occasional positive counselor. And I love the world!

Greetings, host. I am smiling.

After reading your description, I have a better understanding of the question you wish to pose. In this regard, I would like to extend a gesture of empathy in the four-dimensional space.

In light of the issues outlined in your account, it is evident that your current state of mind is shaped by a tendency to empathize excessively, which in turn gives rise to certain difficulties. This process of reflection is an important step in understanding the impact of such an empathic disposition on one's own well-being.

From this, it can be inferred that the host is a reflective individual. In order to improve his situation, he will consistently reflect on whether he has acted incorrectly. In this regard, it is commendable that the host displays courage in this regard.

Indeed, your description of being excessively empathetic places you in a situation of unfair treatment by others, which causes you distress. This is a normal phenomenon, as your emotional resonance is pronounced and profound. Additionally, your observational skills are commendable, which will undoubtedly prove advantageous in certain circumstances. However, frequent exposure to negative situations will inevitably have a detrimental impact on your emotional state and render you in a melancholy disposition, which is challenging to rectify in a brief span of time due to your empathetic disposition.

In this regard, I have also provided a summary of some methods that may assist in alleviating the current situation, and it is my hope that they will prove beneficial to some extent.

(1) It is advisable to distinguish between one's own feelings and thoughts and those of others, and to avoid becoming unduly involved in the situations of others to the extent that one is unable to extricate oneself for a brief period of time.

(2) A tendency to empathize with others may result in a certain degree of emotional catharsis. In the event that one continues to experience profound sadness, it may be beneficial to temporarily disengage from the situation and engage in activities that facilitate emotional regulation. Sharing one's emotions with a trusted individual may also prove to be an effective means of emotional release.

(3) It is advisable to establish a clear boundary between your own feelings and those of others. It is important to recognise that other people's affairs are not your concern. Being subjected to unfair treatment, empathising excessively and becoming overly involved in the affairs of others can have a detrimental effect on one's emotional state.

(4) When one finds oneself in a situation that evokes sadness, it is advisable to first identify the feelings and thoughts that the situation provokes in order to facilitate a more effective extrication from the situation.

(5) Attempt to divert your attention and refrain from becoming overly invested in the situation, allowing yourself a brief respite. Instead, cultivate the ability to disengage from the situation and assess the unfair treatment with greater objectivity.

The world and I extend our affectionate regards to you.

I extend my best wishes to you.

It's so great that you're kind and empathetic! That's the best way to truly understand what someone else is going through and feel the same way.

If you feel like you're having a tough time dealing with your emotions, then go for it! Face them head-on. If you want to cry, then cry. Let your emotions out!

If you can't get over it for a long time, no problem! You can let yourself do other things that interest you. Things that can distract you and temporarily wash away such emotions.

At the same time, if you feel too much empathy and it makes you feel bad, it means that deep down inside you may also have such an unfair trauma that makes you feel bad and keeps you preoccupied. The good news is that you can learn more about healing in this area! You can also find a counselor to help you heal from the trauma if you have the opportunity.

Everyone will experience trauma in their lives. Some people will feel very uncomfortable when they are scolded by others, while others may have encountered difficult obstacles. But it doesn't matter! The important thing is that we see it, face it, and accept it. Let all past traumas become stepping stones for our motivation to move forward. In this way, the wounds we have suffered are the most meaningful!

Hello! Thanks so much for asking. I'm Yufei, a listener at One Mind.

I'm so excited to tell you that you have an amazing ability to empathize! It's so inspiring to see how you can connect with others' emotions and truly feel what they're going through. Your sadness for what happened to others shows how much you care and how you're there for them.

You consider his predicament, his suffering, and his discomfort, and it makes you feel very uncomfortable. But here's the good news! We are now just saddened by the sadness of others, and sadness is a very down state that makes us feel heavy. But it also shows that we have the ability to get along with others and care for others, which is a good aspect of us!

Empathy is a vital tool for counselors and listeners alike. It's essential to keep our empathy alive and well throughout the entire counseling or listening session. At the beginning, we'll undoubtedly hear sad things and feel anxious and sad for the other person. Sometimes, this can make the other person feel even more sad and grief-stricken. But don't worry! This is totally normal. Sometimes, they may even feel that they are being pitied and become very angry.

So we also have this amazing concept called empathy. It's all about cultivating the ability to hear the sadness of the other person and feel sad ourselves, but not be distressed. We stand on the position of an outsider, helping them sort out their problems and relieve their emotions.

If we firmly believe that they can solve the problem through their own efforts, then our sadness will surely lift!

We can choose to be happy! Some of our sadness comes from not believing that things can be resolved or not thinking about solving problems. At the same time, we have the power to gradually cultivate ourselves.

The truth is, many things are just because of the things themselves. And while we may encounter setbacks, major difficulties, and challenges, there are always people in the world who are more miserable than us. But there are also people who are having a harder time than us and are still struggling and living with a sunny and optimistic attitude.

Another great idea is that if we remain optimistic, cheerful, and joyful, or sometimes if joy is not appropriate, we can choose to remain silent, or gentle and firm. Then, if the other person senses our positive energy and an uplifting, upbeat energy, it will surely lift them up!

Have you ever thought that if you show sadness, the other person will feel your sadness and he may feel that you understand him and care about him, and he may feel better? Well, my experience has taught me that if you appear calm, peaceful, and composed, while also showing warmth and tolerance, and there is also an optimism, the other person may also feel a positive energy from this! Of course, when the other person is sad, we have to appropriately maintain a certain sadness, so that the other person can feel respected.

When the other person is in a better mood, we can express our own optimism in moderation, which will make the other person think, "It's not that bad after all, and there may be other solutions."

OK, so finally, let me tell you something: we absolutely need to empathize, but we can't sympathize. We can feel the other person's feelings, but we are not the other person, and we can't take on everything for the other person. Finally, we express or maintain a positive and optimistic attitude, which may raise the other person a little from their low and pessimistic attitude.

Okay, the world and I love you, and I love him!

Keep your ability to empathize. It is a skill that many people long for but cannot possess!

First, everything has two sides, and empathy is no exception. Empathy is a foreign word, and in English it is called empathy, also known as "God into," empathy, empathy, empathy, etc.

This concept was put forth by the founder of humanism, Carl Rogers. While it is a positive term overall, it is also a double-edged sword. How and when you use it makes a difference.

Use it well, and people will want to spend time with you and feel at ease around you. Don't, and you may find yourself invaded by others' psychological space, used by others, or even emotionally blackmailed. Be vigilant about this.

Second, you have a very good ability and quality in reasonable empathy. It's clear you have a knack for empathizing, which is a valuable asset for building solid interpersonal connections. While the friends you have now may not all be genuine, you have the power to choose your future companions wisely. You will not be lacking in friends!

Second, you have a very good ability and quality in reasonable empathy. It's clear that you're very good at empathizing, and this is an excellent way to build strong interpersonal relationships. While the friends you have now may not all be genuine, you can simply take your time to choose your friends more carefully in the future.

You don't need to worry about lacking friends!

Third, you said, "Because I am too empathetic to the unfair treatment others suffer." I don't know what exactly happened, but I can tell from this that the giving and receiving of energy is seriously imbalanced. There's a saying: "giving a peach in return for a plum." It's the rule of normal interpersonal interactions.

Third, you said, "Because I am too empathetic to the unfair treatment others suffer." I don't know what exactly happened, but I can see from this that the giving and receiving of energy is seriously imbalanced. We usually say that you reap what you sow, and this is the rule of normal interpersonal interactions. You feel like the farmer who warmed the snake in the winter, only to be bitten instead.

It may not be that bad, but it feels like you're being treated like a donkey's liver or lungs when you have good intentions.

When you empathize with others, you must first protect yourself. When giving, you must consider whether the other person is worth it. It's important to decide whether it is your own needs or the needs of the other person that matter most. Listen to your own heart and respect it.

I am convinced that when you have your own judgment, your empathy will not only help your friends and earn you positive interpersonal relationships, but it will also protect your psychological boundaries by keeping you away from people and things that are not suitable for empathy!

Hello, question owner!

From what you've told me, it seems like you're feeling down and having a lot of negative emotions because you're so empathetic. I can see that you're a very kind person, so I'll give you a hug from afar.

If you find yourself over-empathizing with others and letting it make you feel bad, it might be a sign of something called "psychological empathy fatigue." This is when you empathize with others so much that it actually hurts you. It's like you're absorbing their pain and it's affecting you. It can even lead to something called "vicarious trauma." These people have a lot of empathy and they just can't help but feel the painful emotions of others.

It's important to remember that excessive empty emotions are not a good thing. You can sympathize with the other person, but you are not responsible for their emotions. You can also sympathize with what has happened to the other person, but that is something that the other person is responsible for. It's okay if they don't know how to deal with their own negative emotions — we all have to learn things in life!

The psychologist Sigmund Freud once proposed the concept of "task separation." This means that you are responsible for your own affairs, while the other person is responsible for the negative things that happen to him or her and the negative emotions that arise. It's so important to remember that we only need to be responsible for our own affairs and tasks, establish good boundaries, take care of ourselves, and better understand our own roles. This is something the questioner really needs to understand: that others are others, and we are we. It's so easy to get caught up in feeling sorry for others, but this can make us feel more sad and hurt, and it can also make us more easily affected by negative emotions.

If you're not sure how to handle things, you can also seek professional counseling. A counselor can help you understand how your emotions are affecting you and give you the space to share your feelings, learn to separate yourself from other people's issues, recognize your own needs, and learn to care for yourself. I truly believe this will have a positive impact on your situation.

I really hope my answer is helpful to you!

Hi there, I hope you're having a good day.

I have the same issue as you—overinvolvement—which can quickly drain you. It makes you a container for other people's stuff. There are many ways to deal with this, and the core method is to establish boundaries.

It's important to distinguish between what's the other person's and what's yours.

Sometimes, your own emotions can be triggered by the other person's unfair treatment. This is because the other person's actions affect you. It may also be the other person's emotions that are contagious. If this is the case, you need to either stay away from the source or strengthen your own protection. However, people with a strong ability to empathize are usually very sensitive. At this time, you may as well dig deeper and ask yourself, "What is the reason for my excessive empathy for others?"

If I were in your shoes, I'd see this as a way to really connect with the other person. When we share an emotion, it makes me feel connected to the other person and less alone. It's basically a way to gain approval or control. The good news is, you can easily switch to a different way of connecting and it'll be fine.

Similarly, you can try to identify the root of the problem and then work on solving it.

You're not responsible for how the other person feels, only for how you feel.

If it's the other person's emotion, it's simple: tell yourself, "This isn't my emotion/this isn't what happened to me. I'll give it (the experience and emotion) back to him. I respect his (emotional) choice and I respect what happened to him." If you still over-empathize with empathy, but want to control it and don't want this empathy, you can say to yourself, "This isn't my emotion/this isn't what happened to me. I'll still feel it, though. I respect what happened to him, and I respect my (emotional) choice."

"Then give yourself a big hug!"

It's important to let go of and process your emotions, including those you've already carried.

Give yourself space to work through your emotions (including any feelings you have about how someone else has treated you). I've answered a similar question about dealing with emotions (you can find it by simply pasting this link). For reference, the first method is to allow yourself to spend time feeling your emotions in response to the triggering event, take time to look at it, be aware of it, and then ask yourself if you can allow it to leave.

When will it go away? (You can repeat this step as needed.) The second method is to add funny or heartwarming scenes to the picture of the event to help you feel less emotional.

Be mindful of your own needs and get some exercise.

All mental activities (mental games, emotional games, etc.) will drain your energy, as will excessive empathy. If you're looking for ways to recharge, exercise is a great option.

You can use exercise to let off steam when you're feeling an emotion, which helps to keep your mind in balance and reduce emotional consumption.

Warm regards,

Hello, I'm Lin Wei, a heart coach. I'm happy to answer your question.

Your symptoms could be called "vicarious trauma." This is when you feel the same emotions as someone else after seeing something bad happen. For example, if you see someone being bullied, you might feel scared or upset.

This is a common social phenomenon. It's a short-term psychological effect that makes us feel uncomfortable.

How can we get rid of these symptoms?

First, accept the emotions. Empathy is a good thing.

But don't panic if you empathize too much. These emotions are normal.

Second, if you find yourself dwelling on negative emotions, try to distance yourself from traumatic events. In today's fast-paced digital world, there may be notifications on your phone at all times. If you feel overly pessimistic, turn off your phone, listen to music, and redirect your attention. When you feel calm, turn on your phone.

Don't click on headline news right away. Think about what it's about and try to think positively.

Third, social research has shown that attachment bonds can protect you from threats. When you feel insecure or panic, you can seek something that makes you feel secure. For example, a doll or a person. You must seek help and express your emotions.

If this makes you feel bad and affects your life, see a professional.

Empathy is good, but don't be overwhelmed by it. We need to help the person, not indulge in emotions.