Troubled by a sense of self-loss, feeling it as a defect in personality, what should one do?

Dear question asker,

I hope you're doing well. I just wanted to check in and see how you've been coping with this issue that you wrote about at the beginning of the year. It's been a while now, and I'm wondering how you've been managing. It's been over a year since you started taking medication, and it's been quite challenging. From the age of 15 to now, it's been a tough journey. Sending you lots of love and support!

We have no choice about the family we are born into. When I read what you said, that you found the reason yourself to be disharmony in the family, I feel this is something we young children may not be able to control. When we were young, apart from protecting ourselves in our own way and adapting to life, there really wasn't much else we could do. I can see that, despite the fact that you were putting yourself down and submitting to them at that time, your studies were still going well until the age of 15. I just wonder if this shows that you weren't suffering from haemorrhage before the age of 15? Perhaps you could write a situation?

I wonder if something else might have happened after the age of 15? Perhaps you had a disagreement with your parents, and then you were obedient. You were in adolescence, and your parents were probably going through menopause. So there were more disagreements. And you? It seems that your inner thoughts were never expressed, and as time went on, you became more and more protective of yourself. Gradually, these states you described above appeared.

I believe that the behaviors you've described are coping mechanisms you've developed to navigate life's challenges. These mechanisms have served you well in the past, and while they may not be the most effective in the present, it's important to recognize that they are a part of who you are. I encourage you to embrace the old you with compassion and understanding. Allow yourself to connect with the past version of yourself, acknowledging the struggles and experiences that shaped you.

I can see that you are currently facing some challenges. It seems that you have been unable to resume your studies for approximately two years, and you have anticipated some unfavorable circumstances that might arise in the wake of the Chinese New Year. This is why you have sought guidance through this consultation.

I couldn't help but notice the sentence you mentioned at the beginning, which is that you've always wanted to solve the problem of self-deficiency. Your sentence made me feel greatly encouraged and brightened my vision. This is your inner strong desire, which doesn't necessarily mean your general confidence. How strong is your initiative desire! I think this sentence should be able to show that you are a person with a heart, that is to say, the situation you described below may not be entirely true. I don't know if you agree or not. I said this

If I might humbly express my thoughts, I believe you have been trying to solve the problem of your lack of self-confidence. However, you have also said that your parents worry too much. Could it be that your parents' worry has caused you confusion? It might be helpful to consider whether the methods you have thought of to solve your lack of self-confidence and the care you have received from your parents are particularly targeted sometimes.

Perhaps it would be helpful for you to talk to your parents about the things that worry you too much. It might also be beneficial to write them down, either with a pen or in the heart platform story meeting. I believe it would be valuable for you to write down more of what you think and what you dare not do. For example, you mentioned that your parents told you to change your medication and stop taking it. This has affected your mind, making it difficult for you to concentrate.

I recall reading that depression can be compared to having a cold. It is often recommended to take medication or, if possible, seek the help of a psychologist or psychotherapist. We understand that the cold will pass and we will be fine, so it is okay to feel depressed. I do not believe it is as serious as a personality disorder. I also noticed that the problems you describe here are very logical. The whole thing is written down, and it makes people feel very clear-headed when they read it. I feel that although you took a break from school, your academic performance is not very bad.

If the change of medicine is appropriate, then perhaps you could just keep taking it. With regard to whether to suspend school or not, you might like to consider asking the teacher for a week's leave first, and then see how things develop. You might find it helpful to get your pen moving and write down what's on your mind. You can let people read it or not, as you see fit. If possible, it might be beneficial to go out and find some activities you like. If not, you could perhaps try going out for a few minutes every day. It might be helpful to get yourself all sweaty.

I don't think I should say too much. I feel that you are very proactive and that you always want to solve your own problems. I believe that, as long as you are the one facing the challenges, you will find ways to overcome them. There are always more solutions than difficulties, and you will find the best way forward.

I have every confidence in your ability to overcome these challenges. I'm here to support you in any way I can. You have my full support and I'm rooting for you!

Dear child, I hope that my response will prove somewhat helpful.

It is important to note that if one is currently experiencing depressive symptoms, it is indicative of an underlying illness. It is crucial not to internalize shame or self-blame, as depression is a diagnosable condition. When an individual is afflicted with this illness, it is imperative to seek appropriate medical care, which is no different from seeking treatment for a physical ailment such as pneumonia.

It is imperative to avoid self-blame and self-criticism for the impact of illness on academic performance. One must recognize that they have exerted their utmost effort and that the subsequent objective is to recuperate. Upon recovery, it is reasonable to anticipate that academic performance will naturally improve.

The precise cause of depression remains unclear. It is generally accepted that depression is the result of a complex interplay between physiological, social, and psychological factors. Consequently, the treatment of depression is a multifaceted process that necessitates a combination of pharmacological intervention, psychological support and guidance, social assistance, and other forms of social support.

In regard to medication, it is imperative to adhere to the physician's directives and to take the prescribed medication in the manner directed. Additionally, it is crucial to maintain an optimistic outlook and to believe in the eventual improvement of one's condition.

Psychological assistance may be sought from a professional counselor, a regular visit to the school psychology teacher, or through independent study of the subject of depression and psychological adjustment. The following methods of psychological relief are also available for consideration:

1. It is important to socialize with friends who can provide support and encouragement, and with whom one feels comfortable.

2. Engage in physical activity, such as sports, to promote relaxation of the body and mind.

3. Writing therapy: The patient should record all of their feelings and thoughts in written form. There is no need to concern oneself with the neatness or clarity of the handwriting, or to worry about the logical coherence of the content. The aim is simply to express the feelings in question as fully as possible.

4. The use of punching pillows and sandbags as a means of catharsis, whereby the individual may release their anger through the act of striking soft objects.

5. The empty chair technique may be employed to facilitate the release of emotions. In a room, an empty chair is placed, with the assumption that the individual with whom one wishes to confide is seated therein. The individual may then express themselves to the chair, including any feelings of anger or abuse.

Furthermore, you indicate a lack of sense of participation or realism. It is recommended that you incorporate elements into your life that foster a sense of participation and realism, and that contribute to an improvement in your emotional state. These elements should also provide a sense of pleasure.

For example, some individuals may perceive activities such as cycling, checking emails, visiting social networking sites, meeting with friends, and engaging in outdoor activities as sources of positive affect, whereas activities such as staying in bed, taking long naps, watching excessive amounts of television, and sitting idle may be associated with negative affect.

Furthermore, an examination of the factors that contribute to a sense of well-being can be undertaken, with the objective of increasing the frequency of these beneficial activities and reducing those that have a detrimental impact.

In terms of social support, it may be beneficial to join groups of individuals who have experienced depression, as this can provide insight into their coping mechanisms and strategies for managing the illness. It is important to maintain a balance between seeking external support and accepting the love and care from those in one's immediate circle.

It is this author's firm belief that, in time, you will emerge from your depressive state, reclaim your vitality, and embrace a fulfilling existence.

Hello, Gap. I'm counselor Will. I've read your text and the replies from your enthusiastic teachers and friends. I suggest you read them all.

From my perspective as a counselor, I'm going to share a few words on how I've dealt with clients in the past. I'm confident you'll find this helpful.

Take the medication as prescribed.

You mentioned "personality fragmentation." Do you mean a personality disorder?

Don't give yourself too many labels and suggestions. If you want to understand yourself, take a MOOC course called "Personality and Mental Disorders - Learning to Be Your Own Psychiatrist" by Professor Yanbin Jia of Jinan University.

You have a very good sense of awareness. The second half of the narrative, the main text, tells the reason for the current psychological state that may have formed. This is based on your understanding of yourself and a personal review. As your psychological state improves, you will form a different version of the review.

Your body may not be compliant, but if it's suitable, you should consider some hypnosis-like therapies. It's likely that when you were young, you ignored and suppressed a lot of emotions to gain the approval of those around you. These need more healing and seeing.

You can do this! I believe in you, and I know you can believe in yourself too. The world and I love you!

Dear question asker,

I empathize with your situation and understand the challenges you're facing. I've encountered individuals in comparable circumstances, and it's often distressing to observe their experiences. However, when I hear their accounts, I recognize that they've accomplished a commendable feat. I often reflect on whether I could have done the same in their position.

I would like to begin by acknowledging the efforts of the original poster. Despite the lack of immediate satisfaction, their efforts are commendable, particularly given the challenges they have faced.

It would be beneficial to consider whether there are any alternative methods that could be employed.

The subject is a 19-year-old who has recently experienced memory loss and difficulty concentrating, which has made it challenging to complete their schoolwork. They have had to take a break from school due to these issues.

First and foremost, the questioner should not be overly concerned about their academic performance. At this juncture, it is imperative that they adhere to the physician's directives and regulate their own mental state. It is unclear whether the questioner is contemplating a change in medication or the cessation of medication, a decision that was reached by the parents or ordered by the physician.

Indeed, the school environment remains a superior option. It is not advisable to take a

Indeed, the school environment remains a superior option. It is not advisable to take a leave of absence from school unless it is unavoidable. It is acceptable to experience difficulties in completing one's studies. At school, there is the opportunity to interact with classmates and engage in social activities, which can be more beneficial than the atmosphere at home.

Furthermore, it should be noted that academic work can be undertaken at a pace that suits the individual, and that learning is not a process that can be completed in a short period of time. In the event that an individual lacks the capacity for memory, it may be beneficial to explore alternative memory techniques, such as those based on associative and contextual learning.

Furthermore, the process of learning can be approached at a gradual pace, and it is not a phenomenon that can be entirely accomplished in a short period of time. In the event that one lacks a robust memory, it is possible to explore alternative memory techniques, such as those based on associative and contextual learning.

The aforementioned individual has been described as lacking in self-esteem and exhibiting an inability to engage with the world around them. This is evidenced by their apparent lack of interest in and inability to respond to the concept of love.

The subject displays a lack of participation and realism, as well as an absence of conceptualization of the future, expectations, desires, goals, and enthusiasm.

Context:

Everyone has their own preferences, but some are challenging to attain due to practical considerations. For instance, I encountered a child who expressed a strong interest in drawing but demonstrated limited attention in class. However, she was highly dedicated to her artistic pursuits, which she shared with me. Despite my limited comprehension of her work, I could discern her profound dedication. When she spoke about it, her eyes reflected a profound enthusiasm.

Context:

Everyone has their own preferences, but some are challenging to attain due to practical considerations. For instance, I encountered a child who expressed a strong interest in drawing. Despite her lack of attention in class, she was particularly engaged in this activity. She presented her work to me, and although I did not fully comprehend it, I could discern her dedication. When she described it to me, I observed a radiant enthusiasm in her eyes.

It seems reasonable to posit that the questioner also has their own passion. In any case, it would be advisable to persevere. Having it by your side for the rest of your life will make it more wonderful and meaningful.

The individual in question exhibits a tendency to self-evaluate in a manner that is characterized by a perceived lack of self-esteem, a sense of uninterestingness, and an inability to love themselves or others. Additionally, they appear to have difficulty responding to love in a healthy and constructive manner.

The questioner appears to have self-labeled with terms such as "low self-esteem" and "uninteresting." It is important to note that everyone possesses both strengths and weaknesses. Individuals who exclusively focus on their weaknesses may perceive themselves as inferior. To gain a more comprehensive understanding, it is beneficial to engage in discourse with a diverse range of individuals, as their self-evaluations may vary significantly.

With regard to the concepts of loving others and oneself, and responding to love, it is evident that individuals may possess disparate interpretations. Additionally, the manner in which one experiences love is inherently unique. It is unclear what the specific definition of love is that the questioner adheres to. However, it can be posited that the questioner is not inherently incapable of loving others and oneself; rather, their approach to love may differ from the conventional understanding.

With regard to the concepts of love, self-love, and the response to love, it is evident that individuals may hold disparate perspectives and that the manner in which love is experienced varies considerably. It is unclear, however, what the specific definition of love is that the questioner is referring to. It can be posited that the questioner is not inherently incapable of loving others and oneself; rather, their approach to love may be somewhat distinct.

The subject displays symptoms of depression and an inability to experience joy, whether in regard to the process of experiencing a situation or the outcome of that situation.

In such instances, it is advisable to take a step back and allow oneself to recuperate.

In such instances, the questioner may choose to engage in a different activity to distract themselves from the prevailing state of mind. This could include socializing with friends, listening to music, or engaging in physical exercise.

The individual in question experiences difficulty in forming connections with others and exhibits apprehension about social interaction.

I am able to comprehend this psychological state. The inquirer may choose to proceed at a gradual pace, beginning with self-reflection through the use of a journal or other forms of introspection. After a designated period, they may opt to engage in casual conversations with individuals in their immediate vicinity, gradually transitioning to more complex discussions.

In the case of social phobia, the same principles apply. It is important to understand that progress cannot be rushed; however, the first step must be taken by the individual themselves. This may entail initiating a conversation with a smile and a greeting. It is likely that the initial interaction may feel somewhat awkward, but with time, the other person will likely reciprocate.

As the frequency of contact increases, the relationship between the two individuals in question will likely become more intimate, and socializing will become a less daunting task.

It is my sincere hope that my response will prove beneficial to the original poster. Wishing you the best.

Hello, question asker! I'm pleased to be able to answer your question.

I want to give the original poster a hug. It's clear that being unable to extricate oneself from depressive emotions and the feeling of not being suppressed by one's parents is very difficult. From the original poster's description, it's evident that the original poster has had depression for a year.

The questioner needs to learn to express their emotions. Their unstable family environment has caused them to be reluctant to express their emotions. By suppressing their emotions, they have developed negative emotions and social phobia. This has seriously affected their studies. They need to get better. I suggest they go to the hospital for treatment. They should not stop taking the medicine until the doctor says they can. At the same time, they should seek the assistance of some psychological counselors. This will solve their problems.

Given the limitations of this platform for in-depth communication about the questioner's problem, I will offer some suggestions based on the questioner's current depressed mood.

I need to know how to relieve depression.

I need to know how to relieve depression.

1. Get moving.

Get moving. It's the most effective way to fight negative emotions. If you want to shake off these emotions and cheer yourself up, then get moving. Go outdoors and get some fresh air and sunshine. Get yourself moving.

It will be difficult at first, even more so than when you are depressed, but you will get through it. You will soon feel full of energy, your mood will no longer be so low, and you will feel like you have the ability to be happy again.

Exercise will speed up blood circulation, ensuring the brain receives plenty of oxygen and feels more comfortable. It will relieve tension in the nervous system. When you exercise, the brain will secrete a substance that makes you feel happy. You will experience this feeling after you exercise, which will encourage you to use exercise to dispel depressive moods.

2. Psychological adjustment

The questioner is likely in a prolonged state of high mental depression, accompanied by impaired emotional expression. They frequently fail to empathize with others' emotions and exhibit a lack of interest in others' well-being. This is a direct consequence of the questioner's lack of emotional security within their original family, which has led to a reluctance to express their emotions. It is therefore imperative for the questioner to learn effective self-regulation, relaxation techniques, and even the expression of their emotions through a doll or plant. As long as the environment is stable and secure, the questioner can speak their mind freely, and with time, they will witness tangible improvements.

3. Talk about your worries.

When you encounter setbacks and need help, you have two options: you can either help yourself or ask for help from friends. But remember, unless you are willing to seek and accept help from others, no one will come to you.

You need to find someone you can talk to from the bottom of your heart. You must overcome your problems of being taciturn and unsociable. If you can't find anyone around you who sympathizes with you—if your family doesn't care about your pain—then I suggest you find some psychological counselors or listeners on some psychological platforms. Pour out your troubles to these professionals. They will make a difference in your mood.

4. Accept yourself.

Do more of the things you like. Find the goal and meaning of your life's struggle in the things you like. Accept the character you brought from your original family. When you are in a low mood, do something to please yourself.

Make yourself happy, and eat something sweet. It's that simple. Sweet things make the body happy, and they'll make you feel happy too. It's important to make yourself happy without hurting others.

Don't let negative emotions take over your life.

5. Take charge of your mental health with self-help psychological training.

5. Self-help psychological training

Take control of your thoughts and emotions with self-help psychological training. Develop a positive way of thinking, face life with a positive and optimistic attitude, and strengthen your resilience. Commonly used online self-help psychological training in China includes the SiKeYou psychological training system. To carry out psychological training, first, become aware of bad emotions and negative thoughts, and establish corresponding awareness and habits. Second, develop the ability to examine the irrationality of thoughts and the bias and inertia of related ways of thinking during awareness, and learn to gradually adjust them. Finally, in daily life, especially in situations that are prone to negative emotions such as depression, establish the ability and habit of timely awareness and adjustment, and gradually get away from depression and other negative emotions.

I am confident that my answer will be helpful to the questioner.

It's tough to see your life and growth experiences. There have been a lot of conflicts and a lot of challenges in your life. The life of your former family of origin wasn't very happy, which has made you feel a lot of suffering in life and made you feel like you're lacking in some way.

It could also be a lack of happiness. It's like the growth of a wolf child. If a person doesn't interact with others during their early development, it can be difficult for them to socialize or establish good relationships. If they don't know what joy, anger, sorrow, or happiness are, it can also make them very worried.

You feel like you've lost your motivation. This lack of motivation also reflects the loss and helplessness of depression, as well as feelings of emptiness and depression. You feel like you haven't been participating much, and you've always been indifferent and on the sidelines.

It's also worth noting that your family of origin has led you to develop a tendency to avoid reality. You used to be very obedient, and children who are too obedient often end up with a personality that's seen as pleasing. This can mean that the child takes on the parents' moods and emotions as their own mission.

You're also dealing with social anxiety and depression, which is affecting your studies and memory. Generally speaking, taking too many breaks from school is not a good thing. It's best to see if you can continue with treatment and psychological counseling while maintaining your studies. Even if you have to drop a grade, it's better to do so. It's important to be more patient with yourself and avoid excessive comparisons. The company of family members is also very important. Good luck!

ZQ?

Good day.

I am pleased to be able to offer you some advice.

From your written description, I can ascertain that you are a person who is rigorous with yourself, and your perception of yourself is also improving year by year. From the very beginning of the symptoms of this depression, you felt out of place in the world, like an outsider. You felt that only your rational mind was helping you think, and that your heart no longer felt anything. You also found it challenging to express your emotions effectively. Eating food also lost its taste, and smiling was just your mind's judgment. When this happened to you, did you choose to go to the hospital for a consultation?

Following a diagnosis of depression, you followed the doctor's advice to take medication for a year. This is an appropriate course of action. The medication can help regulate the secretion of neurotransmitters in your brain, thereby improving the normal functioning of your hormones, and your state will gradually recover.

Given the extent of your depression is unclear, it is advisable to follow your doctor's advice on medication. Given the length of time over which this state of affairs has developed, it will take some time to return to your former energetic self.

Perhaps when you look back, you feel as if you were operating at optimal efficiency before, and you don't know when you suddenly became less effective, right? In fact, I want to say that nowadays, your true heart and your physical state are in a contradictory stage.

Your mind and body are in a state of conflict. You wish to maintain a positive image, but your true heart desires greater autonomy and flexibility in pursuing your favorite activities.

When these two opposing voices are present simultaneously, they engage in a contradictory and ultimately damaging conflict, which in turn leads to the suppression of one's true heart. It is essential to respect reality, particularly in light of the circumstances of one's original family.

You have the desire to take action, but various factors prevent you from doing so.

From an internal perspective, you may be more inclined towards spiritual and inner freedom. You possess a wealth of creative and innovative ideas, yet implementing them is challenging. Family circumstances, school environments, and other factors have repeatedly led to the concealment of your true self.

If you continue to act in accordance with the expectations of others, you will ultimately be living a life that is not aligned with your true self. Instead, you will be living a life that is more in line with what others are satisfied with. This has resulted in a state of neglect of your inner self, which has manifested as distress and ultimately depression.

Now that you are taking medication, I believe you have made significant strides in a year. You can reflect on your progress and compare it to where you were a year ago. I am confident you will be pleased with your current self.

Furthermore, your parents recently requested a change in medication. Was this the doctor's recommendation? For your current condition, I advise that you take the medication exactly as prescribed.

Following the change of medication, you have become noticeably forgetful and lack concentration. It is important to note that individuals suffering from depression may experience difficulty concentrating, and in some cases, may even have reading difficulties. Additionally, they may feel excessively tired after concentrating for an extended period, as if some previous memories have suddenly disappeared. Similar situations may also occur.

If the advice is from a medical professional, we can evaluate it from a scientific standpoint. However, if it is a parental decision based on the perception that the previous medication is not effective, you may wish to discuss your concerns with your parents. This could be an opportunity to improve your relationship with them.

Additionally, you can identify your authentic self by reading pertinent psychology books, gaining insight into your true self, and listening to audiobooks through our One Mind book club. This will ultimately facilitate self-awareness and self-help.

I believe that this experience, which you may have found challenging, will provide you with a new understanding of who you really are, which will be of great benefit to your future.

I wish you the best of luck.

Should you wish to continue the conversation, please click on the "Find a Coach" link in the top right-hand corner or at the bottom of the page. I will then be happy to communicate with you further.

One Psychology Q&A Community, World, and I Love You: https://m.xinli001.com/qa

The message says you feel empty and alone.

From age 15 to now, at 19, you've been in a tough spot. It's hard to feel like you can handle it.

Here's something that might help:

The lack of self-awareness in a depressed state is not a flaw. It is a symptom of the disease.

Depression makes people feel terrible. It's not just unhappiness, but a drowning sense of despair.

You describe a state.

A feeling of being empty inside.

No sense of self, no future, no goals, no joy.

These are all signs of depression. It's not your fault. The illness is causing this.

If you think of yourself and the illness as separate, you'll realize that the illness is just a state. You have other parts of you that can help you face it.

2. If you can, invite family members to take part in your depression treatment.

Family involvement helps with recovery from depression. It might be hard to get your parents to take part.

You can talk to your therapist and ask your parents and family members to take part in the treatment. You might be carrying the unhealthy part of the family on your shoulders.

You're only 19, which is young to take on so much responsibility. It's too much for you.

3. Work with your treatment and tell your doctor about any side effects.

3. Cooperate with treatment and report your reactions to medication.

From the message, we can see that you

Your parents stopping and restarting your medication has made it hard for you to concentrate and remember things, which makes it difficult for you to do your schoolwork.

These are the pains you will endure during treatment. Parents are not professionals in this regard.

These are the side effects of treatment. Parents aren't experts in this area.

Insist on good communication with your therapist or primary care physician. Keep them informed of your past medical history and medication. This helps to minimize side effects and harm.

The above is for you. Best wishes.

The above is for you. Best wishes.

Hello. It seems that you have been struggling with issues related to depression/low-self-identity-overly-sensitive-afraid-to-trouble-others-and-lacking-confidence-5365.html" target="_blank">self-identity, depression, and a lack of future orientation. It's understandable if you're having a hard time finding joy in the journey and the outcomes. I'm sending you a warm embrace.

From what you've shared, I can sense your growing self-awareness and the potential for positive change. It seems you've been on antidepressants for about a year, which could be a sign of your dedication to self-reflection and personal growth. This journey of self-discovery is an admirable effort to connect with your inner self.

I understand that your parents are considering a change in your medication, which has caused you some distress. While I'm not sure of the reasons behind this decision, I believe that your efforts over the past year will not be in vain.

Your past experiences may have led you to a point where you feel less connected to your inner self. It's natural to feel this way, and it's something many people go through at some point in their lives. It's a journey that requires patience and resilience. There will be challenges and setbacks along the way, but with the right support, you can navigate this process and gradually reconnect with your true self.

1. It may be helpful to consider that psychological counseling and studies can often go hand in hand.

Depression and apathy are conditions that may require time to improve. It's natural to experience setbacks, but seeking psychological counseling or therapy can be beneficial in helping you rediscover your inner self, which may also support your studies.

2. Perhaps you could try to find the light in your past life.

Perhaps it would be helpful to reflect on the things that have made you feel emotionally changed over the past year, and to consider which of these you are willing to persevere with. It might also be beneficial to identify the things in your daily life that inspire you to focus on them, and to allow these to become your own way.

I hope you will find the sunshine in the cracks.

I would like to extend my love and support to you and the world.

Susu is a heart exploration coach.