Unhappy, lonely, I don't know what family means to me.

Hello!

I'm sorry you're feeling uncomfortable. It's okay to come here and talk about it. Your friends at Yixinli will always be here for you.

I'm happy you can vent here. If you don't, your heart will be blocked and scared. I applaud your awareness and efforts.

The author is wise to come here. This is the beginning of change. There are even better expectations.

Your family of origin has made you confused. But everyone has their own confusion, and it often comes from their family of origin. The world is big, and you're not alone. We've been there for you across the computer screen.

The family is a place of love and warmth, but some parents act inappropriately. I don't know how old the questioner is, but we are stronger now. When you come here, it is also a kind of self-protection.

I want the questioner to imagine what he wants and how he can get it.

If your expectations are met, how will you feel? Who will notice your change?

I don't know the situation, so I'll give some suggestions to help the questioner feel better:

1. Accept your emotions.

It's normal to have emotions. Not having emotions is abnormal. Accepting emotions means experiencing and acknowledging them. When you accept your emotions, you won't feel ashamed, blame yourself, or worry about them. If you don't accept your emotions, you'll be troubled by them.

Let go.

People get upset because they worry too much. To feel better, we should learn to relax, especially when we argue with others. We should pay more attention to relaxing. Nothing is a big deal. Time can help. If you think about it slowly, you will realize that many problems are not problems at all.

③ Positive thinking

Keep a positive mindset and avoid negative thoughts. When you face challenges, don't give up.

Repeat confident words to yourself to improve your self-confidence.

Psychological research has confirmed this.

④ Understand correctly.

You are not a weak infant anymore. You can survive on your own, even without others' support or recognition. If you are still anxious over a casual remark, take a break and think. What kind of person are you? What talents do you have? Will these change because of a few words?

Obviously not.

Believe in the power of accumulation.

No matter how big the stone is, it cannot stop the seed from sprouting. Once the seed starts to sprout, it will grow. Everyone knows that a drop of water can wear through a stone, but no one believes it. People are like cells or drops of water at the beginning, but most people believe they are strong and sharp from the start, which is not realistic.

Learn patience and wait for the benefits.

⑥ Exercise regularly

Exercise is a good way to feel better. When you're feeling down, go for a walk or run. Listen to your favorite music and let your anger out. You'll feel better in no time.

7. Get help

You can talk to someone, see a counselor, or learn about psychology.

⑧ Love yourself.

External factors affect our emotions. Learn to love and respect yourself. You are in charge of your emotions. When you do this, you will feel better.

The original poster should keep going. They will find their way.

Recommended: "Mr. Toad Goes to the Psychologist," "Inferiority and Transcendence," and "Mending the Rifts in the Original Family."

Hello. I can relate to how you're feeling.

You seem to be experiencing some emotional challenges, including feelings of depression and unhappiness. It seems there are a few emotional issues that have not yet been resolved.

"I changed from the age of nine, and it seems that no one recognized me anymore." Could you please elaborate on what exactly changed?

Could the issue be related to academic challenges, familial concerns, or broader life difficulties?

If I might suggest, it would be helpful to identify the root cause of the problem in order to find a solution. To do so, it would be beneficial to understand the impact the problem has had on you and to analyze it.

"I also always have my reasons. There are some things I don't want to do, but if I don't do them, I worry that I might not be as filial as I could be, and it's like I have no conscience." It seems like there might be some misunderstandings between you and your parents. Could you please tell me more about the specific circumstances that have caused this situation?

Even if you have a strained relationship with your parents, they gave you life, raised you, and protected you from the elements. While they may have made mistakes, they are still your parents and your closest people. If there is a problem, you can still communicate and work through it together, rather than opposing each other.

It is also worth noting that there is a distinction between filial piety and having a conscience. There are many ways to be filial to one's parents, and the ability to do so varies from person to person. As long as one is doing their best when conditions permit, they are being filial. It is important to avoid being morally kidnapped.

It is natural to love your grandparents, who raised and cared for you. However, they may not communicate with you about their psychological thoughts, which can make it challenging for you to connect with them on a deeper level. It is understandable if you feel like you can't fully enter their world or that they may not fully understand or support you.

You have friends, but you also have concerns. Friends are people you can trust and express your emotional support to. Sometimes you feel very depressed, so you might consider talking to your friends, who will likely be able to provide you with the best guidance and support.

If you're not ready to share with your friends, you might consider talking to yourself in silence or visiting a temple to connect with the Buddha. This can be a helpful way to seek psychological counseling and emotional release.

It can be beneficial to cultivate a few friendships when you have the opportunity. It's not necessary for friends to be together all the time. Having friends who are there for you when you need them or who offer words of support can be valuable. It's not always necessary to make relationships overly complex.

It is understandable that you want to bear a lot of things alone, but it is also important to recognize that you cannot bear everything on your own.

If you have a clear understanding of your situation and are eager for change, it may be helpful to find the right way to adjust your mentality and bravely seek change. Taking the first step can be a way to start the process of making positive changes.