Want to become a better version of yourself to please your parents and family, but feel suffocated and unable to breathe?

Dear girl, Hello.

I'm Kelly.

Growing up in relationships

You've been a good daughter, friend, and family member for many years. You must be strong, excellent, and hardworking.

It doesn't matter if they're not satisfied. What matters is that you tried your best.

We all grow up in relationships. These people must be important to you. You are also willing to sacrifice yourself.

Let me share a little about myself.

In the past, I often tried to please others, just as I was used to pleasing my mother when I was a child.

I didn't know that I was used to humiliating myself to please others. It was related to my childhood. As I got older, I always felt unhappy. I just couldn't change my behavior.

When there's a conflict, I often try to compromise, apologize, admit my fault, and end the conflict.

These behaviors are in my close friends and family. I realized I could not please them.

I share my story to say we can't please others, only ourselves.

To please others, you have to please yourself first.

We can't make others proud, but we can make ourselves happy.

Know yourself better.

Know yourself better. Ask yourself what you are afraid of.

Afraid of losing them? Afraid of being ignored?

Afraid of being alone? Afraid of what they'll say?

After trying to please others for so long, do you finally feel tired and unhappy?

Would you want to be the person you were in the past?

Thank these bad feelings for giving you a chance to think, understand yourself, and communicate with yourself.

You can try as long as you like it and are happy with yourself. If it doesn't work, you can still be yourself. But if it does, you'll have a new self. Wouldn't you be happy? Do you want to meet your new self?

Take responsibility for yourself.

Dear girl, It's okay if you don't like to talk. Let's think about how to change yourself.

1: Write about your strengths and keep the things you like.

2. Write down the five things you dislike most about your personality.

Read more to make your soul freer, richer, and broader.

4: Write in a diary about the bad things.

5: Make friends who like you.

6: You can also make art in your mind.

7: Don't worry about your parents. You don't have to please them. You only have to take care of yourself.

I've been reading this book recently and I want to share it with you.

Elena Ferrante said the second of her "Neapolitan Quartet" novels was the easiest to write.

Youthful boldness, indulgence, exaggeration, and fearlessness make her write fluently. It feels great to tap away at the keyboard.

I want to tell her our reading and writing feelings match her writing sense of accomplishment.

The audience probably feels the same way, judging by the episode ratings.

Congrats!

I'm Kelly.

I love you, world.

Good morning, I hope this message finds you well. I am contacting you today regarding a question you posed. Please let me know if this is not the appropriate channel for this question. Best regards,

From your description, I understand that you are a highly filial person with a strong sense of motivation. However, you also appear to place significant pressure on yourself. Is that an accurate assessment?

I have identified two key issues: 1. From childhood to adulthood, you have consistently demonstrated a high level of sensitivity and an aptitude for interpreting others' emotions. You strive to align your actions with the expectations of your parents and those around you, and you are apprehensive about making missteps. However, despite your efforts, your parents still perceive you as enigmatic. Is this accurate? 2. While you appear outwardly content, you privately experience feelings of heightened sensitivity, communication challenges, and a pervasive sense of solitude.

You aspire to become an enhanced version of yourself, yet you still seek your parents' approval and satisfaction. Is this accurate?

I am unaware of the circumstances that prompted your realization. Prior to that, what was your state of mind?

Please describe the state of mind when you do not feel this way. What did you do at that time?

I would like to inquire as to whether you communicate with your parents about these emotions. You are placing undue pressure on yourself. You desire to perform well, but your aspiration to do so is, in itself, a form of pressure, given that perfection is unattainable and it is impossible to satisfy all parties.

Additionally, you indicated that you are highly sensitive and that you consider the potential for others to dislike you based on a single sentence. What is your assessment of this matter?

Do you exhibit this pattern with your parents? It is, in fact, a manifestation of a lack of self-confidence. Do you agree with this assessment?

I want to be clear that when I say this is a sign of low self-confidence, I am not rejecting you. Rather, I am observing that you are sensitive, always trying to please others, and striving to do a good job. This indicates that you are not fully accepting of yourself and do not fully believe in yourself. This is a normal phenomenon.

It is important to note that this is not your fault. Potential contributing factors may include family dynamics and environmental influences, or it may be a genetic predisposition.

I am unaware of the specifics of your situation, but I will provide some suggestions in the hope that they will assist you in overcoming these negative emotions, adjusting your mindset over time, and becoming your best self.

First, adjust your mindset and accept and forgive yourself.

It is important to recognise that everyone is unique and that it is not possible to please everyone. It is therefore essential to adjust our mentality, accept our own shortcomings and be true to ourselves. What are your thoughts on this?

Secondly, identify activities that will enhance your personal development.

The sensitivity you describe, along with your discomfort when lacking the approval of family and friends, indicates a need for self-improvement. Dissatisfaction with oneself is often a sign of a lack of self-confidence. To facilitate change, consider exploring your interests and hobbies. What activities do you enjoy?

You may also wish to consider taking up painting, flower arranging, or even learning a new skill. These are all hobbies that you are interested in, and you will be more focused and feel a greater sense of achievement when you learn them. This will help you improve yourself.

Furthermore, utilize positive self-talk and self-belief.

It is important to note that sensitivity and other emotions may be perceived as negative, potentially stemming from a lack of self-belief. To facilitate change, it is recommended to utilize self-talk and positive self-labels. For instance, when experiencing discomfort on a daily basis, it may be beneficial to reassure oneself through physical gestures, such as holding one's hands, and affirmations, such as believing in oneself and maintaining a positive outlook. The efficacy of these techniques is supported by experimental evidence in psychology, providing a rationale for their potential to enhance self-perception and empowerment.

In conclusion, I recommend that you seek the assistance of a qualified professional counselor.

Everyone has their own challenges to overcome, and this is a normal process. It does not necessarily indicate a psychological issue, but rather the presence of obstacles that require attention. If you are unable to improve on your own, I recommend seeking the guidance of a professional counselor. They will utilize professional psychological techniques to assist you in giving birth to a child, exploring your subconscious, and understanding your inner needs more deeply. Additionally, they will facilitate the creation of a safe, supportive, and inclusive environment, where we can address problems and make changes with confidence.

Finally, I would like to reassure you that your emotions are a normal part of life and not a cause for concern. This is a challenge that many people face, and there is no need to feel ashamed. It is not your fault, and it may be influenced by factors such as your family of origin or personality. Everyone is unique and has their own set of challenges.

Your objective in seeking this consultation is to obtain answers to your questions. This demonstrates your willingness to embrace change. With persistence and resilience, you will undoubtedly witness positive outcomes.

You've got another option.

It seems like there are only two options: excellent or poor, unsatisfactory-he-is-now-at-the-bottom-of-the-class-what-should-i-do-20097.html" target="_blank">satisfactory or unsatisfactory. These are comparative words, though, so there should be something to compare them to. A more reasonable option would be "excellent, average, poor," or "satisfactory, average, unsatisfactory." Even if it's just a rough questionnaire, there should be at least three comparative levels. Otherwise, who are you comparing it to?

What's the standard here?

The illusion of having two options is created by others giving you a feeling, which you then draw conclusions from based on specific events. The conclusions drawn by induction are not necessarily correct, and they are based on limited empirical material.

You can choose to take another stance and make your position clear.

The real situation that parents find unsatisfactory

Many parents in families where they've been together for a long time are stingy with praise and encouragement. But when they do speak up, they're quick to be critical and judgmental. This is because they've already set a set of standards for dealing with life and have made many judgments about what should or shouldn't be done.

At the same time, they have a natural sense of responsibility when it comes to their kids. When words or actions don't meet their standards, they'll notice and want to correct them. The simplest way to do that is to accuse or criticize.

The good words and deeds that they consider to be right are just normal, so they don't feel the need to say anything.

They're focused on education and teaching, and they tend to overlook their children's emotional needs and safety. They try their best, and the stricter the discipline, the more they teach. This can lead to their children feeling increasingly frustrated and like they're bad and not liked by their parents.

Knowing yourself is a great feeling, and being liked is proof of that.

This common situation is meant to illustrate that the feelings of frustration you have in your heart are real. It doesn't mean you're bad or not liked. It's just because of their own limitations that your parents didn't know you needed praise and encouragement. They didn't know they would make you feel this way.

Harsh criticism is something you get from other people, while satisfaction or praise is something you feel inside. It's not about being "never satisfied no matter what."

If you ask, "Mom and Dad, are you satisfied?" you'll probably get a variety of answers.

Another way of looking at it is to ask your parents if there's anything they're happy with. I'm sure there are lots of things. You don't have to take my word for it, though. You can find out for yourself.

Your life should be based on you.

Parents are basically in a state of "insatiable greed," loving their children and hoping for their perfection, even if their children have long surpassed them. The simple idea is that the more perfect their children are, the better their lives will be.

It's important to remember that your parents are just ordinary people with limitations and mistakes. You can have your own perspective, analysis, and judgment. Their standards, judgments, and requirements are theirs, not yours.

You need to find your own standards and judgments, directions, and paths.

Nobody's perfect, and that's okay. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, and that's what makes us unique. We might not be the best at everything, but that's not a bad thing.

It's important to understand and accept that you might be dissatisfied with something, and to remind yourself that there are also many things that are satisfying and pleasing. You may need to consciously perceive and verify them in the moment.

You can accept this love, but you don't have to agree with everything that's asked of you in the name of love. You don't live for anyone else, and no one can live for you.

I wish you all the best.