Was crying after being scolded by a psychologist, is there no other way to save myself?

Dear question asker, I am honored to have the opportunity to respond to your inquiry.

First, offer the questioner some physical comfort in the form of a reassuring gesture. The rebuke from the depression/was-crying-after-being-scolded-by-a-psychologist-is-there-no-other-way-to-save-myself-10586.html" target="_blank">psychologist undoubtedly constituted a significant emotional setback for the questioner, who was already coping with depression and anxiety.

From an ethical standpoint, it is highly inappropriate for a psychologist to utilize such explicit and offensive language. Regardless of the patient's level of severity, they should be supported, not belittled. Such behavior is unethical and unacceptable.

As a former medical professional, I must express my profound disapproval of such behavior.

The psychologist's response has caused the questioner to experience feelings of sadness and depression. It is important to note that a skilled psychologist can provide effective treatment and support to patients. It is essential to select a psychologist or counselor who is well-suited to the individual's needs and circumstances.

The questioner is currently experiencing a state of sadness and is unable to extricate themselves from it. If they are unable to promptly transform their sadness, they may enter a depressed state of mind, which could potentially exacerbate the depression they are currently suffering from.

As the question was posed on an online forum, I can only offer some suggestions regarding the emotional state of the individual who posed the question.

It is important to accept the feelings of sadness that you are currently experiencing.

It is a normal physiological and psychological response to experience sadness when one is blamed by someone in a position of trust.

It is also noteworthy that the questioner, as referenced in the article, indicated that he was crying, which is a common and expected response to such circumstances.

It has been demonstrated that the act of crying can result in the release of endorphins, which are mood-enhancing substances. Additionally, the act of crying has been shown to assist the individual in relieving the psychological pressure and negative emotions that may be associated with psychological distress.

Given your current state of ill health, it may be beneficial to engage in a cathartic release of negative emotions through the act of crying. It is possible that this process may facilitate the cessation of your current state of sadness and the cessation of your tears.

It is recommended that the subject engage in physical exercise.

A substantial body of research has demonstrated that exercise is an effective method for enhancing mood. During physical activity, the body releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with feelings of happiness and excitement.

Furthermore, individuals who engage in regular physical activity tend to exhibit increased energy levels, more positive affect, and reduced anxiety. Exercise has also been shown to enhance cognitive control, allowing individuals to redirect their attention away from distressing stimuli.

There are numerous methods of exercise, aside from intense competitive sports. These include more relaxed activities such as walking, gardening, and flower arranging, which can facilitate relaxation and positive affect.

It is recommended that the subject listen to light music.

Music has the capacity to facilitate relaxation and unwinding. It is also important to select the appropriate type of music. Listening to classical music or light music that is "beautiful but slightly sad" has the potential to induce relaxation.

It is important to note that when listening to music, one should refrain from dwelling on past negative experiences, as this may exacerbate the emotional distress experienced.

Listening to this kind of light music, classical music, or music that the questioner finds beautiful can be an effective method for alleviating negative emotions. One may search for music that is conducive to relaxation. The music of Bender or piano music, for instance, may be beneficial in this regard.

It is recommended that the individual take a hot bath.

It is recommended that the individual engage in a hot bath. If the individual has access to a bathtub, it is advised that the tub be filled with warm, suitable water, and that flower petals and warm candlelight be added. The act of soaking in the tub is likely to result in a reduction of the individual's negative emotional state.

It has been demonstrated that warmth can engender a sense of comfort. Thus, the practice of taking a hot bath has been shown to facilitate relaxation and the alleviation of a sad mood.

It is advisable to seek assistance from family members and friends.

It is beneficial to confide in a trusted individual when attempting to alleviate feelings of sadness. The individual in question can express their concerns and difficulties to a reliable friend or family member, who can provide support and assistance.

It is recommended that you seek psychological intervention.

It is recommended that you seek new psychological counseling interventions and allow professionals to assist you in resolving your psychological issues. In the event that you are apprehensive about meeting with your previous psychologist, it would be prudent to ascertain the reputation of your prospective counselor prior to the initial consultation.

In the event that the referral is from an acquaintance, it is possible to request an evaluation report. A competent counselor can provide the client with a sense of security, assist in rebuilding confidence, and facilitate the transition to a new life.

It is possible that the psychologist has caused the patient emotional distress, and the patient may require an extended period of time to process this experience. It is not uncommon for individuals to require a considerable length of time to overcome negative emotions.

It is recommended that the individual in question be afforded sufficient patience and time to facilitate their recovery. It is believed that they will ultimately emerge from this period of distress.

It is my hope that this response will prove useful to the individual who posed the question.

Greetings. My name is Kimu, and I hope my response will provide some solace to the original poster.

1. It is unproductive to impose self-punishment for the actions of others.

The doctor expressed displeasure at this turn of events, noting that it was challenging for both parties and that there was no further room for discussion with someone of such a utilitarian mindset.

If the terminology utilized by the questioner to describe the psychologist is accurate and if that was the psychologist's intention, then it can be stated with certainty that this individual violated the ethical standards governing the practice of counseling. Their actions were unprofessional and irresponsible, causing secondary harm to the visitor (the questioner). It is essential to recognize that this was an error on the part of the psychologist, not the questioner, and that the questioner should not be held liable for this mistake.

2. Develop the ability to discern whether the other person is unable to provide assistance.

I have previously suffered from depression and anxiety. Following multiple consultations with a medical professional, I have made significant progress in my recovery.

It is unclear how the original poster confirmed that he had previously been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Was this diagnosis made by a psychiatrist at one of the top three hospitals? Was the same result reached after multiple consultations?

Given that depression or anxiety can be caused by a single stimulus at a time, psychiatrists, psychotherapists, or counselors will typically conduct repeated consultations. Only when the results are consistent will they finally determine whether a patient is suffering from depression or anxiety. Therefore, it is important to ascertain the exact circumstances of the original poster's situation.

It would be beneficial to understand how the questioner initially made contact with this psychiatrist and why they elected to consult with him on an intermittent basis for a period exceeding ten sessions.

Please describe any improvements or growth experienced during the course of these 10 sessions. What led you to conclude that the process was nearing an end?

Was this the final iteration of the agreed-upon plan, or was it a spontaneous occurrence?

The questioner's retrieval of notes at this juncture prompted the psychologist to react with considerable intensity. Might this indicate that the psychologist's current assessment of the questioner's condition was wholly unforeseen? It is possible that the psychologist's unilateral belief in the efficacy of the 10 or so consultations was not aligned with the questioner's perspective, which may have been less prompt in reporting any issues or irregularities.

It is evident that there is a discrepancy in the information provided by the two parties. It is therefore recommended that the questioner should endeavour to capitalise on every opportunity for consultation, ensuring that no queries remain unanswered and that no information gaps exist. In the event that it becomes apparent that the psychologist in question is unable to facilitate the desired changes, it would be prudent to terminate the relationship without delay, rather than allowing it to develop into a situation that could potentially cause further harm.

3. Attempt to comprehend how others perceive you.

The questioner's emotional distress is primarily due to the belief that she has placed a great deal of trust and reliance in the psychologist, and that the psychologist's perception of her should not be unfavorable. However, when the psychologist makes a disapproving remark, the questioner experiences a profound sense of discomfort. In such instances, it is essential for the questioner to reflect on whether there is a discrepancy between her self-perception and how she is perceived by others. She should endeavor to comprehend the nature of the self that others observe and to contrast it with her self-perception.

It would be beneficial to analyze the reasons for this discrepancy. With regard to negative feedback from external sources, it is advisable to either implement improvements or to adopt a more positive outlook.

4. Recommendations for the Questioner

It would be beneficial to share with the poster an ABC approach.

A is defined as the event that transpired.

B: The manner in which the situation is perceived.

C represents the result.

To illustrate, the following question is posed:

A: In a recent psychological consultation, the questioner presented the psychologist with their recent diary. The psychologist expressed discontent with the content of the diary and asserted that the questioner exhibited utilitarian tendencies and a reluctance to engage with them.

B: The questioner is trapped in a profound state of self-doubt, convinced that the world has forsaken him and begins to exhibit emotional distress.

C: The inability to cease the act of crying, coupled with a pervasive sense of hopelessness and helplessness.

In this case, A represents an established fact that cannot be altered. C is a consequence of B, therefore, in order to achieve a favourable outcome (C), it is necessary to modify one's attitude (B) towards the situation.

The aforementioned incident can be taken as an exemplar. The questioner was subjected to a verbal rebuke and even verbal abuse by the psychologist. This is an established fact that cannot be altered (A). However, the attitude towards this incident (B) can be selected. The questioner can choose to work assiduously, feel ashamed, and display courage. The more the psychologist espouses utilitarianism and the more he asserts his own shortcomings, the more the questioner will perform well and do his best. With this kind of fighting spirit, the final result (C) will be different.

It is recommended that, regardless of the circumstances encountered in one's daily life, the ABC analysis method be employed to document the facts of the situation, one's attitude, and the ultimate outcome. It is advised that an alternative attitude be adopted in anticipation of future challenging circumstances, with the aim of achieving disparate results.

Ultimately, I extend my best wishes to the questioner.

Hello, question asker,

It seems like this meeting with the psychologist upset you quite a bit.

So, he started to doubt the effectiveness of his treatment and felt pretty confused, right?

I'm not sure how long you've been dealing with depression and anxiety. What techniques did the doctor use to help you?

Put the doctor's behavior and your symptoms together to see how they affected your communication at the time.

Some thoughts on the situation:

Let's start with the doctor.

Could the doctor's behavior be related to damaged narcissism?

The doctor has put in a lot of work to help you, and he originally thought that he could make a difference based on your notes and performance.

He said you were utilitarian and that you needed to change. He also said that the information you presented made him feel very frustrated.

It might be worth thinking about whether you're too self-involved. From a psychoanalytic point of view, it's almost impossible to cure a

It's really tough for a patient with depression and anxiety disorders!

To hide his own frustration, he expressed his dissatisfaction with you by lashing out in anger and acting aggressively.

It seems like his professionalism and ability aren't quite up to par yet.

Let's move on to talk about you next:

I'm not sure if you're an emotional person. How do you usually handle your emotions? If you're usually also

It's easy to lose control, and today's situation is no surprise at all. Anyone who suffers innocent criticism and accusations

Everyone has an emotional reaction, but yours is just a little stronger than most?

It's possible that your emotional instability after being attacked by the doctor is related to your empathy.

The post shows you saw the doctor more than ten times and built up a lot of trust in him. You almost

You can say that you've kept a close relationship with him and had high hopes for healing.

But he really caught you off guard!

Let me take a wild guess: maybe you experienced a lot of mean and critical comments in your early years.

You've just become more sensitive to criticism and verbal abuse.

Let me give you an example. It's possible that every criticism you received in your early years was suppressed by the way you chose to endure it.

Allowing these negative emotions to build up over time has made them stronger. The doctor's comments were the last straw.

It was the doctor's unfair accusations and attacks that set off your inner "explosives."

So you've made the doctor into someone who hurt you when you were younger.

How can we resolve this impasse?

Here are a few tips for tuning into your emotional experiences. When you feel negative emotions:

The first thing you need to do is make room.

Take a moment to calm down and relax, and focus your attention on the inside of your body.

Take a moment to notice what it's like in your chest, stomach, or shoulders. Ask yourself:

What's going on in my life right now? What's most important to me at the moment?

Then, take a moment to really feel the different parts of your body and let the feelings guide you to the answers you're looking for.

When thoughts or ideas come up, don't overthink them. Just take a step back and tell yourself:

"Yes, that's it, I can feel it there. Then ask yourself what else you can feel.

Just keep waiting and feeling, and you'll start to think of other things.

2. Experience

Next, choose one of the thoughts that comes up and focus on it. You don't have to analyze it.

Keep taking a step back. It's likely you'll have lots of thoughts about this, so don't worry if you can't think about each one individually.

Keep feeling them and notice where you can feel them. This is where you get a sense of the whole problem.

First, take a moment to experience the vague feeling.

3. Take control of the situation.

What's the quality of that vague feeling this week? Can you think of a phrase or adjective to describe it?

It could also be an image, such as taut, tricky, panic, heavy, etc. Just pay attention to the qualities you experience.

It'll match the adjective perfectly until then.

For instance, you might suddenly think of the word "tight" when you feel your abdomen tightening or a feeling of your chest being blocked.

I get a feeling of tightness in my chest. That makes me think of the word "tightness."

4. Get involved!

Repeat the feeling and experience of the word, connecting it to the different parts of your body. Can you empathize with it?

Or can you feel your body sending signals to let you know that the two match? To do this,

You have to then feel and experience that word again, allowing the experience and the word to change.

Keep going until the word accurately describes the quality of the experience.

5. Interrogation

Now, ask yourself: What caused this situation? When he reappears,

Take a closer look at the problem, get in touch with it, experience the feeling, and ask yourself, "What makes this problem so-and-so?"

You can also ask yourself, "What does this feeling consist of?"

If you find an answer without transforming it, let it go and refocus.

Then, ask again.

Until something new comes along with the change, you'll feel released and light.

6. Accept

It welcomes the changes with friendliness. Just take a moment to feel it, even if it's just a little relaxation.

Whatever else comes up with it. It's just a change, and actually, his transformation will continue to come.

Stay with it for a bit longer if you can!

If you've experienced all the bodily sensations related to this question along the way,

This is your focused experience. It doesn't matter whether you feel the transformation or not; it will happen automatically.

We don't have control over it.

Additional Explanation: Emotions are an important part of our body, and they reflect what we need. If those needs aren't met,

It lets us know what it needs by sending us physical signals!

I'm Consultant Yao. I'll be there for you, so let's get started!

I'm Consultant Yao, and I'll keep supporting and caring for you. Let's do this!

Hello, host. It can be challenging to accept being evaluated in this way by someone you once trusted deeply. It's possible that you don't fully align with this person's perspective, which might be contributing to your upset and tears.

From what you have shared, it seems that you are currently in the recovery period of your self, slowly emerging from the original depression and anxiety. It is possible that when you encounter a little setback, your originally sensitive and vulnerable inner self may be triggered again, and you may feel overwhelmed as if facing a major enemy.

Perhaps we could try analyzing it together, with the hope that you might be able to regain some strength in your heart. ?

It might be helpful to allow emotions to support your growth.

In the description, you read the sentence, "Am I really a utilitarian person? If so, is that so bad?"

From this sentence, we can infer that you have a differing opinion from the psychologist's evaluation of you, and you have expressed your thoughts in a courageous manner. This is an admirable quality.

(2) In the past, we may have been influenced by the opinions of others and the relationships we built with them, which led us to live cautiously and compromise. Through gradual growth and understanding, we have come to realize that other people's opinions of us are not necessarily an accurate reflection of who we truly are.

(3) The real us comes from our inner need to express the truth and to express our emotions authentically. You may find that you are caught in your emotions and unable to extricate yourself. At this moment, we can give ourselves strength and bravely go through these emotions, which will help you to grow.

(4) When emotions such as grievance, sadness, grief, depression, anxiety, and helplessness arise, allow yourself to experience the feelings associated with these emotions. For instance, you may notice tears flowing, eyes becoming swollen, nose running, breathing becoming labored, lips trembling, a hunched body, and a lack of energy. By bringing your awareness to these sensations, you can gain insight into how your body responds to these emotions and the feelings they evoke.

(5) Then you might like to tell yourself, "Oh, so this is sadness, grievance, this is depression, helplessness, etc." You could try doing this every time an emotion strikes, just quietly accompanying yourself, being aware of the changes in your body, and experiencing the feelings brought on by the emotion.

You may find that emotions can be like this and that they can quickly pass.

(6) It might be helpful to remember that every time we become aware and look at our body, we bring our consciousness back to the present from the past and the future. This can be an effective way to bring us back and avoid getting caught in an endless emotional whirlpool.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider what exactly we should be like.

(1) It might be helpful to consider that the title itself is a false proposition. Perhaps we should focus on being ourselves, without feeling the need to be what someone else thinks we should be or live up to someone else's expectations.

By being true to yourself and expressing yourself, you will come to see that we are complete in ourselves and that we have a brilliance that shines.

(2) Many of us have experienced living in an environment where we were evaluated and evaluated others. Some of us may have had parents who compared us to other children, or who taught us in a way that was somewhat repressive. Teachers also wanted to compare good students with bad students. We grew up in an environment of comparisons and evaluations, and we have also developed our own perspectives on judgment, especially when it comes to our own hearts.

(3) When doing something, you often hesitate, wondering if you are doing the right thing and if the future outcome will be good if you choose this way. Such judgment can sometimes result in a certain amount of internal mental wear and tear, and it can also sometimes lead to missed opportunities.

(4) So, dear, I wonder if you might feel that you are bad, or that others have judged you.

I believe that you don't think this way because you expressed in your description that the psychologist's evaluation and judgment are inconsistent with you. Perhaps what you need is an affirmation that you are right, that you can express bad thoughts, and that you can also express negative emotions and sad states. All of this is allowed and acceptable.

(5) Allow yourself to have your share of inner strength, experience the emotions, and see the truth of the matter. You are worthy of love and you are good enough.

Perhaps we can try to be our own strong armor, protecting it and accompanying it, allowing love to flow. You are the source of strength, after all. Come on, let's give it a try.

It is distressing to learn that you were reprimanded and emotionally distressed by the psychologist. It is possible that the psychologist did not fully recognize your emotional issues and instead resorted to verbal attacks that caused you significant self-doubt. This is also a highly uncomfortable situation.

It would be advisable to take some time to consider your own circumstances. It may be beneficial to seek the guidance of a different psychologist or counselor to assist with managing your depression and anxiety, given the current situation.

It is evident that the psychologist in question does not demonstrate sufficient empathy or understanding towards his client. He could have identified the challenges the individual has been facing in securing employment and the distress caused by familial issues, but instead resorted to characterizing the client as a "utilitarian" person, which only exacerbated the situation.

It is important to remember that we all live in the real world, not in a theoretical construct. It is possible to discern your own feelings of shock, crying, and hurt. The other person's misunderstanding can also be perceived as a form of hurt. It is also possible to experience distress due to family matters and work-related issues, which are also normal emotions.

You placed your trust in him, but it is difficult to comprehend how he could have made such an unpleasant statement. If possible, you should provide an explanation. You are not a materialistic person. If the other party does not offer an apology, it would be advisable to consider seeking the services of a different psychiatrist or counselor. It is often the case that the issue is not your concern, but that of another party. I would suggest reading some books on anxiety and depression management. Best of luck!

Please advise.

It is only those who assist themselves who are able to assist others.

If one perceives oneself as a patient seeking treatment from various sources, the responsibility for recovery is placed entirely on the doctor. This effectively means that the individual has permanently relinquished the authority to recover their health to another party. In a more serious context, it can be seen as a transfer of control from the patient to the doctor.

This approach results in a passive, powerless, and cowardly mindset. It is important to note that there is no such thing as a psychiatrist, and no one has ever suffered from a mental illness.

You are the same. Your problem is simply that you have not identified the fundamental aspects of the issue. When you are unable to discern the intricacies of a problem, you perceive a deficiency in yourself. Only those who assist themselves can assist others. Past thoughts and perceptions have shaped your development and impeded your progress. Therefore, where do you perceive any psychological issues? Where are the principles, consequences, and other concepts that the general public cannot comprehend?

Reborn

Henceforth, it is recommended to refrain from seeking external assistance and instead focus on self-healing through personal transformation. It is important to recognize that erroneous thinking often gives rise to misguided actions.

It is imperative to alter one's mindset from the present moment. It is crucial to refrain from labeling oneself as mentally unhealthy. One must recognize that they are normal, loved, and capable of achieving a state of profound happiness.

One should not rely on others for assistance, as they are unlikely to be of significant help. Furthermore, excessive advice can impede personal growth. It is essential to first accept oneself as one is, regardless of whether one is utilitarian, inferior, or even selfish. These are one's current characteristics, and one must first accept them before attempting to change them.

Admitting one's shortcomings is the first step in addressing them. It is important not to deny one's self-perceived deficiencies, but rather to confront them head-on. By doing so, one can develop a sense of confidence in one's abilities and identity, recognizing that one's strengths and weaknesses are inherent and cannot be defined by external factors.

One must then endeavor to extricate oneself from these constraints, which are a source of distress. This is the most prudent and efficacious course of action. It is not necessary to be concerned, as one has already demonstrated considerable proficiency. The objective is to enhance one's abilities even further.

I extend my best wishes to you.

I hope my answer helps you.

Hug the host and cry if you want to. I understand your feelings very well. Of course you will feel very sad when you are accused by a doctor you trust so much. Don't doubt yourself and don't worry that everything will never get better.

If you believe that everything will be fine, it will be.

First of all, you need to look at his comments objectively.

Consider the nature of his comments about you in previous sessions. Were they predominantly positive and constructive? Why would he act this way towards you now?

I believe what the user Cangyue Weiliang said is true. He has developed empathy and has projected many of his own negative emotions onto you. This has caused him to lose control and attack and accuse you in an inappropriate manner.

It is important to understand that psychologists are human and have emotions. It is possible that he encountered something troubling that day and did not handle his emotions well, which may have led to him expressing his emotions towards you. We can discuss this with him during the next consultation.

Next time you see him, tell him, "Last time, you said I was power-oriented, and I was hurt. I need you to support and encourage me. Why did you say that?"

You must be mentally prepared for this. If he attacks and accuses you again, you need to jump in and not get caught up in your emotions. You must continue to accept his accusations and attacks. If you feel uncomfortable, you must interrupt him and tell him that by attacking and accusing me in this way, you are violating the professional ethics of a counselor and violating the principle of value neutrality.

Let me explain the principle of value neutrality. It means that the client and the counselor may be two completely different people with different values, attitudes towards life, and lifestyles. The counselor must remain value neutral. They should accept the client, not impose their values on the client, not reform the client using their own values, and not criticize or accuse the client.

It is evident that the doctor's actions are in clear violation of the principle of value neutrality.

You can also release your emotions in other ways. In addition to talking to a psychologist, you can try other methods to release your emotions.

Crying is a way to release emotions, but it only has a temporary effect. There are other methods you can use to relieve and release stress and emotions.

If you need to escape from pain, write about your innermost feelings and thoughts. It doesn't matter if your handwriting is messy or your content makes no sense. Just express yourself. Find the right person to talk to. Tell them about your inner worries and pressure. At the same time, feel the love and support of your friends.

If it's due to self-negation, you need to improve your sense of self-identification, give yourself positive and positive evaluations, and practice self-affirmation. You can also improve your cognition by reading books like "Accept Yourself: Transcend Your Inherent Weaknesses" and "Accept Your Imperfections."

If you are sad because of someone, find the person you want to connect with, have a sincere exchange, and express yourself.

Expressing our needs is the only way to avoid feeling oppressed.

If you need to release anger, do it. Go for a run, kick a punching bag, whatever you need to do. You can also squeeze stress balls, pound pillows or sandbags, tear paper, etc. You can even use the empty chair technique to release emotions. Place an empty chair in the room, assume the person you want to talk to is sitting in it, and then express your thoughts and feelings (including abuse and anger) to the chair to your heart's content.

From your description, it is clear that you value other people's opinions and that your emotions can be affected by them. It is therefore essential that we treat other people's opinions correctly.

We are all different, and each of us has our own set of standards.

We like, recognize, and support others who meet our evaluation criteria. We dislike, deny, and doubt those who do not.

It's simple: if we meet the other person's evaluation criteria, they'll recognize us. If we don't, they'll reject us.

You will find that whether the other person recognizes you or not has little to do with you. It has everything to do with whether you match his evaluation criteria. You cannot control the thoughts and actions of others. You cannot always meet other people's evaluation criteria. You cannot meet everyone's evaluation criteria.

Life is hard for everyone. Everyone has different wants and is in a different position. Don't practice yourself according to other people's standards or force others to conform to your own standards. Don't crave understanding and approval from others in everything you do.

We certainly don't have to sacrifice ourselves to gain the approval of others. We don't have to trade relationships for this. It doesn't matter if you are liked or disliked. There will always be people who like you and people who dislike you. The important thing is whether you can accept this self that is liked and disliked at the same time.

You don't live to satisfy other people's expectations. If you keep seeking the approval of others and caring about what they think, you will end up living someone else's life. If you want too much to be recognized by others, you will live your life according to other people's expectations and lose your true self. This will bring you trouble because it is not the life you really want.

Take back the right to evaluate yourself. Treat yourself as someone else and evaluate yourself comprehensively, objectively, and truthfully. Know yourself better and know yourself well enough. Know what you want. The evaluation of others is less important now.

Live your true self and your relationships will improve. You will no longer be haunted by those "bad relationships" you have traded for by pleasing others and suppressing your own needs.

You have the right to choose your own counselor. Find one that suits you.

If you find the counseling experience really bad and have no trust in your "psychiatrist," then it's clear you're not a good match.

If you can feel the inner peace of the other person, a sense of resilience and strength, and sense his unconditional acceptance of you, his positive attention, sincerity, and respect, you will know he is consistent in his actions and is not a pedant or critic hiding behind a professional persona. Such a counselor is more suitable, and is also an excellent counselor who has undergone a long period of personal growth.

A good counseling relationship is essential for counseling. You must trust your counselor to understand your true thoughts and help you solve your problems.

In counseling or therapy, you must be open and honest with your counselor about your feelings. This is essential for progress and helps the counselor reflect on your relationship.

After investing a lot of time and money in counseling, it can be difficult to admit that the counseling has not progressed or achieved the desired results. It can also be awkward to express these realizations to the counselor. However, if we never honestly express our feelings and reactions, it will be difficult for the counseling to progress. For counseling relationships that last for months or even years, it is essential to give timely feedback to the counselor about your feelings and reactions.

If you feel trusted during counseling, you can let go of your worries, experience ease and comfort, and express your true thoughts and emotions. You can face your true self because your counselor has given you enough security and space to release your inhibitions.

A truly skilled counselor is one who is always gentle, firm, and friendly. They encourage you to listen and accept, understand, trust, and warm you. They are hesitant to tell you the answer, give you advice, and encourage you to face and explore on your own.

Let me be clear: just as there are no perfect people or things in this world, there is no such thing as a perfect counselor. Every relationship has its own strengths and limitations. Our goal is not to find a perfect counselor, but one who is a good match for us and can provide professional support and space during a difficult and growth process.

Finding the right counselor takes time and effort. Pay attention to how you feel. This is a sign that you are on the right track.

You will feel comfortable enough to start opening up and sharing your experiences. Dr. Hauser says, "Almost all new relationships start with some anxiety, but feeling understood, empathized with, and accepted is a sign that you're headed in the right direction."

Another feeling is the hope you feel after a consultation. This hope and optimism mean that you know change is possible over time.

If you feel the counselor is not OK, you can ask them to communicate with your supervisor to adjust the plan. If you are still not OK after the adjustment, you can ask the counselor for a referral or ask them for suggestions on finding a counselor with more suitable professional skills.

Furthermore, at the conclusion of the consultation, both the client and the counselor will assess the results in relation to the established goals.

Psychological counseling is ultimately about "helping people help themselves." This means cultivating a person's self-reliance and self-improvement. Therefore, counselors strive to achieve the following in counseling:

The client must learn to help themselves. This means constantly inspiring them to think independently, tap their own potential, and learn to help themselves.

The client must become self-reliant. This means constantly pushing the client to take action and stop relying on others to push them.

Internalizing the value of the counselor means transforming admiration for the counselor into a value recognition and cultivating the same qualities in oneself.

As a client, you must understand that true self-growth only occurs when you can independently solve problems. You can only achieve self-realization when you can turn idols into role models. If your counseling achieves this effect, you will gain true self-confidence and self-empowerment. This is good counseling.

I am confident that the above will be helpful. Best wishes!

Good day, My name is Yunshan.

From your text, it is evident that you placed a great deal of trust in this doctor. However, the doctor was visibly upset after reading your notes and reprimanded you. This came as a surprise and caused you distress, leading you to question your ability to trust anyone again. It is understandable that you are experiencing strong emotions in this situation. I would like to ask a few questions to gain a better understanding of the situation and explore potential solutions.

1. Could you please clarify whether the doctor in your text description is a professional psychologist? Professional psychologists typically do not make such statements to their patients, which is not in line with the ethical standards expected of a psychological counselor.

In light of the significant disagreement with the doctor, it is advisable to seek a different medical professional if the need for ongoing treatment persists. It is important to recognise that all medical practitioners are human and therefore susceptible to making mistakes. Your health and wellbeing are of paramount importance.

2. Have you been diagnosed with depression and anxiety by a regular hospital? If not, we advise you to visit a regular hospital psychiatric department for a consultation, as this will better ensure your safety.

3. Could you please describe the effect of the dozen or so treatments you received? How did you feel?

Please describe the main issue you would like the doctor to address when you present your notes.

Please provide an update on your current state of mind after the ten-hour period has elapsed. Have you been able to calm down?

You may also wish to contact the local helpline, where a volunteer can assist you in calming down and thinking clearly.

While this doctor may not have provided the optimal experience or may have even caused you harm, there are still numerous qualified professionals who can assist you in addressing your concerns. Your well-being remains our top priority.

I hope this information is useful to you.

I extend my warmest regards to you and the world. I am Yunshan.

In some instances, the act of offering a hug from a distance may be the only available option. When seeking assistance, it is not always possible to receive the help one needs. It is important to recognize that we are the primary agents of our own well-being, rather than relying on external sources for support.

You are discontented with the status quo, yet you are striving assiduously to improve the situation. You are an individual who aspires to extricate oneself from a challenging circumstance.

Additionally, you are a courageous individual who takes the initiative to address your own challenges. Initially, you sought a counselor who would align with your perspectives and acknowledge your identity. However, based on your account, it appears that the counselor may not have fully recognized your needs.

It appears that there is a discrepancy between your perception and the doctor's assertion that you are utilitarian. This discrepancy has led to a state of discontent.

Please elucidate the meaning of "utilitarian" as you understand it.

It would be beneficial to ascertain whether you inquired of the doctor as to the rationale behind his assertion that you were utilitarian. Moreover, it would be helpful to determine whether he provided substantiation for this claim.

Is your utilitarianism aligned with that of the doctor?

The psychologist, like any other human being, is subject to the limitations of his own emotions and value judgments, which may occasionally manifest in the counseling process.

This was unintentional. However, the psychologist did not recognize it either. It is unclear whether you expressed your anger during the consultation. Nevertheless, you did not provide the psychologist with any indication that you were upset about the situation.

A crisis represents a potential opportunity for growth and change. This situation may prove to be a pivotal moment in your relationship with the psychologist.

It is this author's hope that the psychologist will be given another opportunity to resume treatment, during which time the patient will be encouraged to verbalize their feelings of anger and confusion, and to engage in repeated discussions about these emotions. This process may be challenging, but

Should you succeed in truly resolving this issue, it may offer a potential pathway for the dissolution of the relationship.

In the context of a relationship on the brink of dissolution, when emotions are running high, and when communication with others and the emergence of conflicts occur,

An efficacious experience of breakthrough.

It is recommended that you consider undertaking this approach.

I would like to extend a gesture of appreciation to the original poster. You have demonstrated a commendable commitment to self-improvement, which is a highly commendable quality.

Furthermore, utilitarianism is a natural aspect of human nature, and there is no cause for criticism. Labelling someone is inherently neither objective nor appropriate, particularly for a professional, and can only demonstrate unprofessionalism, not reflect how you are.

I was greatly affected by the response. I also have a comparable experience to that described by the original poster.

I have been subjected to unwarranted criticism on numerous occasions at Yixin, due to my child's depression and dislike of school. I have also experienced similar situations with business platform consultants and enthusiastic psychology PhDs. I have gained a basic understanding of psychology and can clearly discern that this is a form of countertransference on the part of the counselor. However, in the moment, I tend to question my own abilities, leading to feelings of self-doubt.

I would like to understand why I am being held responsible for the situation. I have clearly done so much for everyone involved.

To what extent do you know me and my family? How can you make judgments about me and deny me? These experiences led me to believe that those who have exposed themselves were at fault because no one is perfect. However, for the sake of my child, I needed to consider different opinions and set aside my emotions for the time being.

I believe that unprofessional psychological counseling can be more damaging than the initial issue itself. My child has consistently declined psychological counseling, likely due to his reluctance to readily trust others.

With the increased availability of psychological counseling, there has been a rise in the number of individuals and organizations offering this service who may not have undergone complete professional training. A clinical psychologist at a local hospital has observed that many patients have experienced secondary victimization at the hands of other counselors.

It is therefore important to treat the counselor as an ordinary person and take control of the situation. It is also crucial to engage in self-reflection on your emotions. Be aware of your uncomfortable emotions, write them down, and always remind yourself of your positive qualities.

It is recommended that you engage in meditation, qigong, or yoga on a daily basis to clear your mind and focus on the sensations in your body. It is also advised that you pursue activities that bring you joy.

It is recommended that you open up gradually and only seek out resources that can help you when you feel safe.

Good day, question asker.

Upon reading the title, I was immediately perplexed by the nature of the psychologist in question. The subsequent description only served to further compound my confusion.

It is imperative that the client not be scolded when they are in a helpless state. I would like to extend an invitation to you to share your frustrations about this psychologist with me.

The psychologist's conduct in this instance was inappropriate and unprofessional. It is unacceptable for a mental health professional to treat a patient in such a way, particularly when the patient is experiencing depression and anxiety.

It is important to note that it is possible to respond to such behavior with a verbal protest.

It seems likely that the original poster (OP) rarely directly blames or scolds others in their daily lives. Therefore, it may be beneficial to scold the psychologist a few times and express how one feels when scolded.

One may begin by locating a sheet of paper and creating a visual representation or symbol that symbolizes the psychologist in question. This representation can then be verbally attacked, with any and all emotions being expressed.

It is possible that you may require this outward release, so it is recommended that you attempt it, at the very least.

I would also like to recommend a book to you called The Power of Self-Care, which contains a variety of brief exercises on self-care. It is my hope that, in addition to your counseling, you will be able to provide yourself with warmth and strength independently.

It is my hope that the original poster will experience the joy of blaming and scolding others, thereby gaining insight into the potential of "scolding" to exert a different kind of power. Furthermore, I encourage them to explore the freedom of exercising discretion in their choice to scold or refrain from doing so.

Good day, host.

After reading your description, I am distressed and empathetic towards you. Disclosing your mood notes and situation records to your trusted psychiatrist resulted in his attacks and accusations, including the labeling of your personality as "utilitarian." This is distressing and hurtful.

Additionally, you experienced a profound decline in emotional well-being, accompanied by a sense of doubt and self-rejection.

Let us examine these statements together to ascertain their objectivity, credibility, and accuracy.

You have been under the care of this physician for a period exceeding ten years. As the conclusion of your treatment approaches, you present the physician with documentation of your thoughts and emotions, which include negative sentiments, distress over your inability to secure employment, and familial concerns.

It is my personal opinion that, as a professional psychologist, the primary objective should be to instill a sense of trust and sincerity in the patient. This should then be followed by an expression of concern and gratitude, as well as an exploration of potential avenues for assistance.

The doctor's initial response was one of distress, followed by a lecture on the difficulties of the situation and ultimately, an accusatory and negative labeling of the patient.

It is evident that this psychologist has experienced transference, whereby his own personal emotions have been projected onto you. It may be posited that when you were nearing the conclusion of your treatment, the doctor was displeased upon perusing your notes. This was not due to the fact that you had recorded unfavourable situations, but rather because the notes served to remind him that his treatment of you had not yielded the desired results, thereby causing him to experience some self-doubt.

The doctor was unable to accept this discrepancy and simultaneously experienced a sense of powerlessness. Due to his inability to perceive and process his emotions effectively, transference occurred, which manifested as anger and led to attacks and accusations directed at you. From the doctor's perspective, your notes represented a form of professional denial and attack.

In light of these considerations, it is evident that the doctor's statements lack objectivity, credibility, and professionalism.

The original poster is not compelled to allow his statements to influence his emotional state or value judgments.

The issue of a utilitarian personality

The host discusses the shortcomings of "utilitarianism." This phenomenon is also prevalent in the context of exam-oriented education. It is akin to the term "delicate egoists," as defined by a Peking University professor. Most delicate egoists undergo a transformation, shifting their spiritual need for love and affirmation of value to the pursuit of material satisfaction and the maintenance of material gains.

In order to maintain their elite status within the family and society, individuals may engage in the isolation of their emotional needs, exercise caution in their actions, and strive to ensure that every minute and every action is perceived as "useful." This is often driven by the pursuit of realistic goals and the attainment of tangible benefits. However, if these expectations are not met, individuals may experience a loss of self-worth and a diminished sense of being worthy of love.

If education consistently prioritizes action and the acquisition of resources, it may inadvertently diminish the capacity of children to engage with the fundamental question of existence. As they strive to navigate the complexities of the modern world, they may become increasingly disinclined to confront their authentic selves, leading to a heightened sense of anxiety.

If one is disinclined to become a refined egoist, one may choose to continually reevaluate one's self-worth, exploring whether there are paths that may initially appear inconsequential but could ultimately enhance one's life experience, facilitate deeper connections with others, and facilitate the discovery of one's true self.

For example, one might engage in public welfare work, participate in regular volunteering activities, teach in rural areas, or spend time with elderly individuals in hospital wards.

The aforementioned represents a portion of the information that I have to share, and it is my hope that it will prove to be of some assistance.

Hello!

Host:

I'm Zeng Chen, a heart exploration coach. I've read your post and I understand how you feel.

You have also sought help and expressed your distress, which will help you understand yourself better.

Next, I will share my thoughts, which may help you see things differently.

1. Psychiatrists are normal people.

The poster cried after being scolded by the psychiatrist. If my doctor says so, who else can I talk to?

I felt like my whole body was on fire. The next second, I felt like I was going to explode. Is everything going to be okay?

I understand.

A psychiatrist is just an ordinary person. They aren't suitable for everyone.

Many people look for a psychiatrist and find more than one that doesn't suit them. So, I want to say to the original poster, don't overthink the psychiatrist's words.

His comments may be subjective and hard to understand.

In counseling, 40% is up to the client, 30% is up to the counselor, and 30% is up to the support of those around the client.

Host, psychological counseling isn't that important. Don't worry about defining yourself.

2. Take care of yourself.

Relationships are a two-person thing, so both people are responsible. As a counselor, I think I'm responsible too.

Don't doubt or attack yourself for things you think are your responsibility.

Our own cruelty towards ourselves is often the last straw. But gentle care for ourselves gives us strength. We need to care more for ourselves.

Be more tolerant.

You're only human.

Other people may not have to care for us, but we can still care for ourselves. We can also forgive ourselves.

How do you care for yourself? The host may imagine what you would do if your best friend came to you with this situation.

Take care of yourself like you would your best friend.

3. Get help.

You may be too hurt to seek help, but you can still do it if you need to.

It can be hard to find the right person for you.

Keep looking until you find the right person.

I hope these are helpful and inspiring to the poster.

After just a dozen sessions of trusting treatment, one breaks down and all the trust collapses in an instant. Feelings of betrayal, grievance, anger, sadness, and helplessness all come flooding in.

Your limited written description still hides too many doubts for the reader, outside of the emotions. Let's ask these questions for you to consider and judge.

1. The consultation setting, frequency, and rhythm are all problematic.

I was depressed and anxious before, and I saw a doctor on more than ten occasions. I am almost finished with treatment.

You can't tell when you're approaching the end of treatment for anxiety and depression after just a dozen sessions. This isn't the end of your treatment.

It is, in fact, the end of one of your counseling sessions.

Ten or so sessions of therapy may not be enough for situations accompanied by depression and anxiety. Your consultation settings are also intermittent.

From a professional standpoint, this is not a course of treatment with fixed settings. It cannot, therefore, be considered a formal psychotherapy process.

I need to know what caused the consultation to be intermittent.

This instability directly impacts the therapeutic effect, rendering the treatment ineffective after ten sessions.

2. I have further questions about the consultation and treatment methods.

The doctor read his notes and found records of his bad thoughts and sad state.

The doctor didn't tell you to keep these notes, did he? Then who did tell you to keep them?

In cognitive behavioral therapy, which is commonly used to treat depression and anxiety disorders, the therapist will ask the patient to keep an emotional diary to record their emotions and thoughts when they experience emotional distress. This record is part of the treatment process, so it is an important basis for the doctor to evaluate and discuss with you various irrational cognitions when experiencing emotional distress.

If the doctor asked you to write it down, then it is the content of the consultation that needs to be discussed. Therefore, I am at a loss as to why he commented on your notes like that. If the doctor assigned the task and commented on the visitor's notes like that, then it is a very unprofessional display.

This is very puzzling.

If the doctor didn't tell you to write it down, then who told you to record this? You should have known better than to show it to the doctor.

You wanted to discuss this with the doctor, didn't you?

If you wanted to discuss it, why was it blocked by a comment at the time?

3. Regarding the trust in the consulting relationship and the reasonable expression of opinions during the consultation.

Am I really that utilitarian? If so, is that so bad? If the doctor I have always trusted says that, who else can I talk to?

If you trust this doctor, tell me what he has done to earn your trust.

If he is your trusted doctor and you have a counseling relationship based on trust, then you have every right and obligation to express your thoughts and feelings if he says something that makes you feel uncomfortable.

This is especially true for people suffering from anxiety and depression. Reasonable expression exercises in a safe counseling relationship and counseling environment will help the client establish a new understanding and experience of expressing their inner feelings in relationships or in life.

In other words, you must have the courage to express your inner emotions and true thoughts. This is part of the consultation and treatment, and it is part of the doctor's goal to enhance your ability in this regard.

I want to know if the doctor's intention is to test your reaction to other people's comments in order to monitor the effectiveness of the treatment.

You should have told your doctor directly at the time that his comments hurt you and you didn't understand why he said them.

This kind of reasonable expression helps you express your current emotions, feelings, and thoughts in a timely manner. It also gives the doctor the opportunity to explain and clarify.

Avoid misunderstandings that cause new feelings of anxiety and depression.

4. I'd like to know if there are any other aspects besides anxiety and depression that were taken into account when assessing and diagnosing your condition.

I want to know if I really am a utilitarian person. And if so, is that so bad?

Your notes do not indicate what led the doctor to conclude that you are a utilitarian person. Consequently, there is no basis for forming a judgment or opinion.

But you added, "If so, is that so bad?"

Tell me how you rate yourself as a utilitarian person.

Normally, you use a completely negative sentence structure if you don't think so. The "if" sentence structure indicates that there is an element of agreement.

This self-identification confirms the doctor's assessment, which in turn expresses a sense of powerlessness on the doctor's part. This sense of powerlessness suggests that the utilitarian part of the psyche is an important counseling topic, perhaps even more so than anxiety or depression.

The emotional distress of anxiety or depression may be related to this utilitarian part of the psyche.

I can assure you that your counseling is far from over.

We need to explore at least one more important topic.

5. I want to know if it's pointless to seek help even if you change doctors.

Everything is going to get better. There's nothing wrong with me. There are other ways to save myself.

Now, consider this: if we went to the doctor for another illness and felt the doctor wasn't up to the task, we'd likely think, "Am I hopeless?" or "I'll try a different doctor. This one isn't very good."

It's clear that when it comes to other illnesses, most people's first thought is to change doctors, not that there is no cure.

If you go to a doctor for psychological problems, you need to ask yourself why you think you have a problem and are unable to help yourself because of the doctor's problems.

You must be willing to save yourself if you want to recover. Patients who are willing to cooperate and participate in treatment often have a faster recovery and better results than patients who are unwilling to cooperate and not proactive in saving themselves.

This therapeutic experience has undoubtedly left you feeling devastated, angry, and frustrated. By asking the above questions, you can reflect on the problem. It may lie in the setting of your treatment, your treatment method, the relationship between counselor and client, or the doctor's own problem.

When seeking professional help, it is essential to pay attention to these aspects. A formal psychological treatment has a set process and standards. The consultation setting is intended to be stable, and the establishment of a counseling relationship takes time. You have the right to know what treatment plan the doctor is using. In a counseling environment, you can freely express your immediate emotions and thoughts.

You need to do your own self-help for psychological problems, but you still need a professional to provide professional psychological counseling or psychotherapy.

Materialism shows you want to get better. Being judged as materialistic focuses on your pain points, making you feel like you're not getting better.

Take your time. Don't rush to see results. Don't let frustration make you depressed or angry.

Remember the line from the movie "King of Adventure"? "Frozen water cannot break the flow, and dead wood will come to life again."

Give yourself some time, turn utilitarianism into a continuous driving force, and give it a try.

I am Bo Sir.