We have broken up and gotten back together many times. My girlfriend is always suspicious of people. How can I change her?

She doesn't feel secure. You haven't convinced her you're trustworthy or given her enough trust. Do you want to continue?

You should still try to find a solution, but you feel helpless in the face of your girlfriend and the situation.

You don't want to be suspicious and cause trouble. If you want to give each other a chance, she needs to choose between her unsuitable words and deeds and a long-term marriage.

Ask her to think about it. She needs to choose between her emotions and recklessness. If only one person waits, the conflict will still happen. After marriage, there may be less motivation and more harm.

When both sides trust and respect each other, they can work together to maintain mutual affection. They can then control their words and actions and get along with each other.

People often stick to their own ideas and ignore others' feelings and needs.

Once you know you trust each other, you can start talking about specific things and methods. Then you can work together to find a way to get along.

The two sides need to find a way to get along, especially with regard to the conflicts that have already become apparent. For example, they need to agree on things like distrust, hitting, and getting along with the elders.

.

Each side brings up things they cannot accept to the table for discussion. Only when you find solutions for these issues and both sides act accordingly can it be said that you value each other's emotions.

Giving up or changing is hard. There are many things to think about. If you love each other, you can find a way to make it work.

The reasons behind her passion and the circumstances are different.

I wish you happiness.

Good day, my name is Strawberry.

The author's disclosures and difficulties, coupled with the fact that they have terminated and resumed the relationship, indicate that he still harbors strong sentiments for his partner. It is precisely because of these feelings that he is willing to persevere in the relationship despite the numerous intractable issues.

There are a few issues that require attention.

The question asker's girlfriend views all men as potential rivals. This behavior is not necessarily caused by the question asker. It may result from the question asker's own experiences or from observing this behavior in others. It is also possible that the question asker's girlfriend has experienced repeated betrayals in previous romantic relationships, which has caused her psychological trauma. She may believe that all men have this problem and that she cannot trust anyone. She may view even the slightest thing as a sign of betrayal.

The questioner's girlfriend displays suspicious, sensitive, and trust-issues behaviors. She struggles to form positive relationships. Her psychological trauma has led her to engage in these behaviors, which she is aware of but is reluctant to change. She feels that her current behavior provides her with a sense of security.

Dealing with a partner like this is very tiring because they will constantly demand the sense of security they want. However, regardless of what the questioner and your family do, they will never be satisfied and will be unable to fill the sense of security they want.

This is a characteristic that she shares with a hedgehog.

The original poster's girlfriend is sensitive, making it challenging for her to establish trust with others. She is even susceptible to negative emotions triggered by a single sentence from someone else. Her actions may also be interpreted as a means of self-preservation. In her erratic behavior, one can discern a vulnerable individual attempting to appear strong. She is lacking in love.

She desires to obtain love in her own way, yet she is reluctant to acknowledge the impact of her actions on others. This individual may require considerable tolerance, understanding, and warmth to foster a sense of acceptance and goodwill from those around her.

Be transparent about your limitations.

Given the circumstances of the questioner's girlfriend, it is evident that she requires the assistance of a professional psychological counselor. This is a matter that cannot be addressed by ordinary individuals or those lacking professional psychological expertise. The questioner may wish to demonstrate love and affection to help her cope with her emotional challenges. Her strong emotional defenses may prevent her from fully embracing the love and support of others until she is able to process her psychological trauma. Currently, she is likely to be consumed by her own emotions.

The questioner is currently seeking to modify his girlfriend's behavior, but is constrained in his ability to do so. It would be advisable to encourage her to pursue psychological counseling. With the guidance of a professional, she will be able to identify her own issues, confront them, and find solutions. If she is amenable to a gradual change, there is a possibility of maintaining a positive outcome. The questioner has the option of accompanying her to therapy sessions and providing support as she develops the ability to confide in others and trust herself. However, if she is reluctant, the current situation may persist, leading the questioner to become increasingly disheartened.

I hope this response is helpful to the questioner. Best regards,

Hello. I'm happy to share my views with you.

Don't try to change someone else. If you have to, change yourself. If you don't, walk away.

You've painted a picture of her as a suspicious, jealous, sensitive, unreasonable, and unreasonable girlfriend. But what about her other side? What does the questioner like about her?

You can't possibly be with her because of these things, can you?

Listen up. I'm going to tell you a story.

I have broken up with my boyfriend many times. He can never make me feel at ease. I often see unfamiliar women in his WeChat. When I ask him to explain who they are and what their relationship with him is, he stammers. When we are out together, I always find him looking at other women. We often argue about this, but he never changes. I get angry and block him, thinking that I will never contact him again, but I can't help but reconcile with him in the end. Maybe I still care about him in my heart. Later, we reconciled and I got pregnant, but I had a miscarriage unexpectedly. I was very sad and suffered both mental and physical torture. His parents are very nice and came to take care of me, which I am very grateful for. But sometimes I always feel that his mother is talking behind my back. Maybe I am being too sensitive. I want to vent to him about it, but I didn't expect him to say that I dislike his parents. I was really disappointed. I feel that he doesn't understand me and that he doesn't have me in his heart, only his parents. During an argument, I couldn't control myself and slapped him. His parents happened to see it. I know they will definitely blame me and won't understand or tolerate me.

I don't know what to do now. I just want him to care about me more, to reassure me, and to make me feel protected and loved when I face his parents as an outsider. He can't do it, so I'm going to have to change him.

This story is fiction. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental.

When you love someone, you see only the good in them. If this is all you can remember about her, you need to move on.

My name is Xiao Dong, and I am a psychological counselor. I wish you a happy life!

Good morning.

A beautiful love often begins with an accidental encounter, followed by getting to know each other, and then embracing. This can be a challenging process, as it requires the blessing of fate, as well as true feelings. If, after getting together, you still can't read each other, it's possible that conflicts and friction may increase, making it more difficult to establish a true intimate relationship.

We have gone through a number of breakups and reconciliations. My girlfriend tends to be suspicious of others, which makes it challenging for me to connect with her. How can I help her to trust me more?

My girlfriend and I have had our fair share of ups and downs. She has a tendency to distrust me and be suspicious of others. We were on the verge of getting married this time, and we had already paid the bride price. Unfortunately, we had another disagreement, and she was concerned that I might have been seeing someone else. Sometimes she gets upset when I chat with a woman on WeChat. Even if another woman gives me a second glance, she thinks I'm having an affair. In the past, when we had a disagreement, she would delete my WeChat and ignore me. Now, sometimes she gets angry and yells at me.

The resilience of emotions to setbacks is directly related to the amount of effort and investment from both parties. When both parties value their emotions and work hard to maintain the relationship, they will feel very comfortable and at ease with each other. Because the other person cares about and values my feelings, I become "special" and feel a stronger sense of happiness.

From what I can gather from reading the questioner's description, it seems that many of the ways in which relationships are built and interact reveal tension, restrictions, and violence. Of course, this is most likely just because the situation is depicted from the perspective of the questioner's feelings. From the girlfriend's perspective, it is likely because the boyfriend has not given her enough sense of security and trust in this relationship. She is trying to call for help and expects to be seen for herself, but her method is somewhat extreme and hurts the relationship. She wants the other person to come closer and pay attention, but it has the opposite effect.

To gain a deeper understanding of the situation, it would be helpful to have more objective information. By gaining insight into the underlying psychological motivations behind extreme emotions, we can work towards finding a solution that addresses the core issue and allows the relationship to move forward in a positive way.

Secondly, it would be beneficial to understand whether personality can be changed.

It is worth noting that changing one's personality can be challenging. Typically, two key factors are involved in this process: one is a shift in one's own perception, and the other is a change in personality influenced by a significant event. However, it is often the case that the underlying common element in these two factors is a transformation in one's perception. In many cases, individuals tend to live in relatively stable environments, which can make it difficult for them to fully recognize the need for change. As a result, they may find themselves adapting to their circumstances in a passive manner.

In my girlfriend's case, she may appear to be somewhat inconsiderate and willful in handling things, even disrespectful to her elders. However, when viewed in the context of marriage, it's important to consider that the thoughts and actions of one party's role often change with the position and actions of the corresponding role. From the perspective of the questioner's elaboration, it may lack objectivity, which could potentially lead to a loss of empathy when dealing with things. It's understandable that both parties may find it challenging to achieve empathy.

It might be helpful to consider that if there is still love between the two parties, the questioner could try to give his girlfriend the sense of security and responsibility that he has not yet given her. This could help to establish trust in the relationship. Secondly, it might be possible to deal with other third-party factors at a later stage. When problems arise, it could be beneficial to first deal with the main contradiction, and then other problems might be solved in turn.

*Regarding the distance between the questioner and the opposite sex that caused his girlfriend's suspicions, it may be helpful to consider that the issue may not be with the girlfriend, but rather a challenge in establishing boundaries with the opposite sex. For those who are in relationships, it can be beneficial to consciously maintain a distance with the opposite sex to foster a sense of tranquility in the relationship.

I hope you find happiness in your endeavors.

Hello! It's clear from your question that you love your girlfriend very much, and your friend also loves you very much. Otherwise, you wouldn't have split up and gotten back together so many times! She's a bit suspicious of people, and you want to change her, but it's a bit difficult, isn't it?

I'd love to know why you say that!

♥ First of all, it's so important to remember that a person must want to change first. After all, people are essentially inwardly oriented. Just like a door, it is constructed to open from the inside out. If you do the opposite, not only will the door not open, it may even break.

Secondly, personality is the result of lots of different things that happen to us when we're growing up. These include things that happen to us as individuals, as part of our families, and as part of wider society. It can be really hard to achieve the effect you want simply by changing the individual.

Oh, don't you worry! There is definitely a solution to this problem.

♥ A woman's suspicious nature is just a symptom; the root cause is her lack of inner security and trust in you.

I really think the key to solving this problem is to help her construct an inner safety moat. In the title, you also mentioned that she often suspects you of having a woman on the side. I'd really love it if you could think about what kind of behavior on your part has given her this idea, and whether you have not been able to maintain a proper boundary when interacting with the opposite sex.

You can help her avoid these "allergens" and rebuild a moat of safety by learning what they are.

Even the people in the environment can change!

The environment is made up of the family and social situations that an individual is in. While we can't change the social environment, we can definitely work on the family environment!

Reconstructing the family environment is actually all about making sure everyone gets along with each other, including you and her, your parents and her, and her parents and her.

In the title, you mentioned that she accidentally had a miscarriage for her own reasons. Although it's not clear what her reasons were, it seems like you and your family believe that her own reasons caused the miscarriage.

I'm not sure if that's really the case, but I'm here to listen if you want to talk.

It's so sad when a woman has a miscarriage and everyone thinks it's her own fault. It's so unfair to put that kind of pressure on her. She's already going through so much pain, losing the child and then being blamed for it.

Even though the whole family was there to take care of her, it's possible that they weren't always able to accept and tolerate her. It's also possible that some emotions that they expressed inadvertently triggered her sensitive nerves and caused her to react violently.

It's not fair to judge someone's behavior out of context.

So, if you really want to change things, don't focus all your attention on your girlfriend. Think about what you and she, and even the other family members, can do together to change things for the better.

Hello!

My girlfriend's suspicions prove she is unwanted.

She probably feels she's not good enough.

She may think she's not as good as other women.

Not liking oneself and being afraid of others seeing and saying things about the parts of oneself that one dislikes is why she suspects others of saying bad things about her and picking on her flaws.

This may be due to a poor upbringing.

My girlfriend and I have broken up and gotten back together many times. She never trusts me. We were about to get married, but we've had another fight. He always suspects that I have a woman on the side. Sometimes when I chat with a stranger on WeChat, she gets angry.

Breaking up and getting back together shows both desire for intimacy and fear of losing it.

She doesn't trust you because she's not confident.

It shows she's afraid of losing you.

When we love someone or something, we're afraid.

When you cherish something, it breeds fear and you guard it in an inappropriate way.

For example, you reject others from getting close to the things and people you cherish. You also pick fault with the people you cherish and ask them to stay away from other people and focus on you.

Your girlfriend is paranoid because she cares about you.

She controls everything to keep it under her control.

You're afraid.

Anxious relationships are like a seesaw.

When there's a disagreement, it ends.

After breaking up, you try to reconcile.

In the past, when we fought, she would delete my apps and ignore me. Now she beats me and scolds me. This time she had a miscarriage due to carelessness. Our whole family is at home taking care of her, but she still resents my family for speaking ill of her.

After an argument, she blocks the other person to assert her sovereignty.

It's also a way to control the other person.

They abandon each other first to avoid being abandoned.

Disliking others may also mean disliking oneself.

Or she wants the other person to fulfill an idealized self or other person.

Your girlfriend thinks your family is talking about her. It's like a past relative is picking on you.

Miscarriage may be related to emotions. She may have wanted to end the pregnancy.

She's having a bad time with my parents too. Now that she's recovered, she's moved out and scolded my mother.

Fighting with your parents is like declaring war on your own parents.

Before, she probably didn't get her way at her parents' house.

She succeeded.

Challenging your parents won't get you permission.

She wants to take over your upbringing and spank you.

She leaves because she doesn't think you and your family will accept her.

Or maybe she has to be this way, and you have to compromise to see her position in the family.

I don't know what to do. Should I give up on marriage, or can her personality be changed?

Most people won't accept this.

You think your girlfriend is unreasonable.

But will we understand that she's showing weakness in a strong way?

She's embarrassed to show her weakness.

If you show weakness, you'll seem dignified and save face.

She wants a safe, warm, and lasting love.

This includes love and affection.

Your parents might not understand your girlfriend.

You can.

If you understand her, see her emotions, and empathize with her feelings, she will trust you.

This process is long and exhausting for you.

If you still love her, you can also suggest she see a psychologist.

The above.

I'm Yan Guilai, your counselor. Best of luck!

Hello, question asker! I'm Jiang 61, and I'm excited to help you!

First of all, thank you so much for trusting us and being willing to tell us about the problems you have with your girlfriend and seek a solution. At the same time, I also understand the suffering in your heart, and I'm excited to help you with this!

There are so many reasons for your breakups and reunions! It's time to decide how you want to handle the situation from the heart.

You split up and get back together again!

You ask: We have broken up and gotten back together many times, and my girlfriend is always suspicious of people. How can I change her?

You mentioned that you and your girlfriend have broken up and gotten back together many times. What are the reasons?

1⃣️, Reason

You said, "My girlfriend and I have broken up and gotten back together many times. She never trusts me and is always suspicious of other people. We were about to get married this time, and the betrothal gifts have already been exchanged. We had another fight, and he always suspects that I have a woman on the side. Sometimes I chat with a strange woman on WeChat, and she gets angry. Even if another woman looks at me once too often and thinks I'm involved with someone else, she ignores me. Now sometimes she beats me and yells at me."

I'm excited to hear more about you!

From your description, it is clear that your girlfriend is very nervous about whether the relationship is stable. This is shown in several ways, which is great because it means she cares about the relationship!

WeChat

She's always on the lookout to see who you're chatting with, especially if it's a woman she doesn't know. This shows she's interested in your contacts and chats!

On the street, she's always on the move!

She also pays attention to your attitude towards passers-by. If someone else looks at you, it's none of your business — go for it!

However, if you give feedback, such as being smug, smiling, and happy, it shows that you really enjoy being the center of attention. Any woman will care about how her girlfriend behaves, so make sure you're putting a great impression out there!

And guess what? Jealousy is totally normal! It just goes to show how much she cares about you and is excited about your relationship.

Character

From your description, I feel that your girlfriend is suspicious, very sensitive, anxious, and prone to tantrums. A large part of her personality is characterized by a melancholic personality, which makes her all the more intriguing!

A radical personality has:

Characteristics: strong will, action-oriented, energetic, achievement-oriented. She's got a strong will and is always ready to take action. She's full of energy and driven by a desire to achieve great things.

She's got a lot going for her! She's courageous and decisive, persevering through challenges with ease. She's not afraid of difficulties and is highly self-disciplined.

She has a short temper, which means she's passionate about life! She may lack empathy, but she's confident and strong-willed. She's stubborn, arrogant, and complacent, which means she's determined to get what she wants.

Respect is very important to a girlfriend. People with an aggressive personality are used to leading and commanding others, have a strong desire for control, and pursue achievements. Therefore, she is used to you living your life her way, otherwise she will lose her temper and easily resort to irrational and extreme behaviors such as hitting people and deleting WeChat. This is something you can work with!

The strength and desire for power she displays is actually a sign of her inner emptiness and insecurity. She's hoping you'll pay attention to her, respect her, and recognize her so she can feel secure.

2⃣️, Attachment

From your description, it can be judged that your girlfriend is an anxious attachment type, which is great!

Attachment

People with an anxious attachment style are passionate about their relationships! They invest all their emotions in a relationship, but often find that the other person does not want the relationship to develop as closely as they would like. The lack of intimacy makes them feel uneasy, and sometimes they even worry that their partner does not value them as much as they value them.

Anxious attachment people are always very vigilant in intimate relationships, constantly thinking about every move the other person makes. They are afraid of unstable relationships and feel insecure, so they show suspicion towards everything and are more clingy, giving you the impression that they are stalking you.

And the reason is…

Your girlfriend is constantly doubting you because you have the opportunity to give her a sense of trust in your relationship. For example, you can be more open with her and handle your relationships with girls in a more transparent way.

If there is secrecy, her highly sensitive nature and anxious attachment type will not allow her to let go of her ideals, which is why she gets jealous. But there's a way to help her let go of these ideals!

2. Intimacy

You said, "This time she had a miscarriage due to carelessness, and our whole family stayed at home to take care of her. But she still resents my family for speaking ill of her. She thinks that everything my family says is about her. She is now having a falling out with my parents. Now my parents don't approve of us either. Especially when she hit me in front of my mother, and now that she has recovered, she has moved out of my family's home and even scolded my mother."

1⃣️, Your intimate relationship

Communication

It's clear that your girlfriend and you have a lot of room for improvement when it comes to communication. When you can't stand each other, you break up.

This is one of the reasons for your breakups, and it's an opportunity for growth and improvement!

Expressions of love

You and your girlfriend are both so busy focusing on your own needs that you don't have much time to sense each other's real needs. Once you start focusing on your partner's needs, you'll see that this is a great way to build trust and intimacy in your relationship!

2⃣️, Family relationships

Your girlfriend has some challenges when it comes to your family. This is something she's been working on, and you've been a great support. She's learning to navigate family dynamics and is becoming more confident in her ability to communicate with your family.

Influences of the original family

Her attitude towards your family shows that she has a barrier with her family, and this barrier is influenced by her original family.

Habits

It's likely that your girlfriend has always been the center of attention in her original family, and she's probably used to having others cater to her every whim. She thrives on being the center of attention, just like your family does.

Otherwise, if she doubts the words and motives of others, she'll lose her position.

Education of love

At the same time, judging from her behavior of not respecting others, especially older people, she had the opportunity to learn about love and develop her own independent personality in her original family. She behaves in a way that makes you feel intolerable, but this is an opportunity for you to learn how to communicate more effectively.

Let's harmonize our relationships!

Now, let's talk about the differences between the two families.

On the other hand, you're living together as two families, which is a wonderful thing! There will inevitably be differences between the way you live in your respective families and the way you need to integrate with each other. This integration is an exciting process that requires time, experience, and an accommodating heart. You'll get to know each other, fall in love, love each other, and integrate with each other, eliminating differences and establishing a relationship model for your new family.

? Reconciliation

Your girlfriend is living in your family, changing her old habits, and adapting to your family life pattern. It's a process that requires understanding and tolerance, and it's so worth it! You're the mediator, and it's your job to make sure both sides feel valued and cared for. If you favor one side, the other side will feel neglected.

3. Repair and decision It's time to start making things right!

1⃣️, Pain But there's hope!

It's clear that your life is not just about pain. Your girlfriend and your family are going through the same thing. That's why I'm here to help. I'm going to solve the opposition to the development of your relationship!

Source There's so much potential here! It's clear that you have a lot to offer each other. You just need to find a way to bridge the gap between your families. Once you do, you'll be on the fast track to a happy, loving relationship!

There's still room for growth in the relationship! The girlfriend's doubts indicate a lack of a sense of security deep down inside her, which means there's an opportunity to build a stronger bond of love.

There's still room to build a sense of intimacy!

The fact that you are constantly breaking up and getting back together shows that your relationship is not truly established. This means there's room for improvement! Once you've made some changes, you'll be in a relationship with me, and I'll be in a relationship with you. Then, your relationship will be a priority!

2⃣️, make a decision!

Now for the fun part! It's time to understand the reasons for the breakup.

It's great that everyone is analyzing the reasons and pros and cons for you! However, from the perspective of a bystander, analyzing and discussing your relationship based on the content you introduce does not represent your real relationship. How to grasp your relationship mainly depends on your own feelings and expectations and what your girlfriend's expectations are.

And especially what caused the breakup.

Once you understand the reasons for the breakup and the expectations of each other, you can find a solution!

Make a decision when you have to!

Start from the heart, from the relationship, and from the expectations to make a decision on whether to continue the relationship. This kind of careful consideration is a responsible attitude towards yourself and your girlfriend. And it's a great way to make sure you're making the right choice for you and your partner!

3⃣, repair the relationship!

If you decide to continue your intimate relationship, there are a few things you should keep in mind.

Be sure to pay attention to expectations!

Your girlfriend's expectations are an exciting part of your relationship!

Your girlfriend has expectations, and it's your job to meet them! Give her a sense of security and trust.

Be transparent in your actions!

Be open and honest with your girlfriend! She deserves to know everything about you. And of course, be faithful to her. Try to avoid people, things, and situations that may cause jealousy.

This is especially true when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex! You should be more aware of your actions, and it's a great idea to take this advice to heart.

? Introduce friends!

There's nothing better than introducing your friends to your girlfriend and taking her to your parties! It's a great way to dispel any misunderstandings and gain her trust. She'll feel so secure with you!

Absolutely! Pay attention to your expectations.

Paying attention to your girlfriend's expectations doesn't mean you should ignore your own! It means you should pay more attention to them. You're excited for your future family life and your own path of growth...

What amazing things will you do to meet your expectations? And what will you ask your girlfriend and family to help you achieve?

When you can see yourself, your girlfriend, and your family as a community of shared destiny, and everyone feels like family, then you can work together to build a better life—and it'll be amazing!

It's time to change the attachment relationship!

It's time to help your girlfriend feel secure and break away from an anxious attachment!

The first way is to be more open and positive in what you do, so that she is willing to trust and rely on you. Then you will create a secure attachment in her heart!

So if you want your love to last, we should definitely change our attachment styles!

The second way is to let her learn to do the things she likes and get your approval. This is a great way to help her gain confidence and independence. She'll start to think that she can live her life on her own, without relying on you. Her sense of security will be established, and her attachment to you will change.

The third way is to build a sense of mutual trust. You treat each other as best friends, doing things together, having fun, talking about your troubles, grievances, or happiness, and discussing solutions to setbacks together.

And when you treat each other as soulmates and trust each other, your relationship will become even stronger and more stable!

It's time to start building a close relationship!

Intimacy is something that needs to be nurtured. Just like a bank account, the more you invest in your relationship, the more you will get out of it!

The more you get to know each other, the stronger your relationship will become! So, no matter who you end up with, if you do these things, your relationship will be well managed!

Expressions of love

Deposits in the intimacy bank are love investments, love withdrawals, and love expressions.

Everyone has their own unique way of expressing and receiving love. Dr. Gary Chapman has identified five distinct "languages of love": "affirming words," "quality time," "gifts," "acts of service," and "physical touch."

Affirming words are a great way to show your love and appreciation!

It doesn't matter if you're friends, colleagues, lovers, or a married couple—you need praise and affirmation, and more positive feedback, to deepen your relationship!

Special moments are wonderful times and memories that you share together!

Special moments are wonderful times and memories that you share together, such as a candlelit dinner or doing something meaningful together. During this time, give your full attention to the other person and enjoy every second!

Be open to receiving gifts!

Exchanging gifts on important holidays is a wonderful ritual that strengthens the bond between two people. The gift itself is a tangible symbol of the love and connection between them.

Service actions are a great way to show your love and appreciation for your partner!

In short, it means doing what the other person wants you to do and delighting them with your actions in everyday life. These actions of service are often small things in life, but they can make a big impact!

Physical contact is a wonderful way to show your affection and connect with your partner. It can be as simple as a hand on the shoulder, a hug, or a kiss. These gestures don't require much effort but can make a huge impact on your relationship.

Physical contact is a wonderful way to show affection for each other. Holding hands and hugging are great examples of this. They're a silent language of love that can brighten up any day!

Once you've identified your girlfriend's love language, it's time to show her how much you care! Meet her expectations and express your love. This simple act will warm up your relationship and fill your relationship bank with emotional value. With love as your nourishment, your relationship will flourish!

? Consistent communication

Communication is the key to a happy, harmonious intimate relationship! Unfortunately, most family relationships lack this essential ingredient.

When you communicate consistently, you're sending a clear message that you're present, engaged, and respectful. It's about aligning your words and actions with your inner feelings. When you do this, you're not just communicating with the other person — you're also showing respect for yourself and the situation. It's a win-win!

People who communicate in this way have a lot going for them! They demonstrate an inner awareness in their speech, are consistent in their expressions and words, have a harmonious inner balance, and a relatively high sense of self-worth.

I'm so excited to share with you the following sentence patterns, which are commonly used for consistent communication. After a period of time, you can truly communicate in a consistent manner. The specific sentence patterns are as follows:

? When...

Describe the objective situation in a way that is free of accusations or emotions.

? My feelings are...

Be sure to express your feelings and emotions in a way that captures the moment!

I really hope...

It's time to get clear about what you want the other person to do, what you need, and how you can make it happen! Make it quantifiable, executable, and visible.

I believe in you!

Describe your expectations for the good!

Congruent communication is a game-changer! When you align your feelings, actions, and words, the other person will receive the same message you do. Misunderstandings will be a thing of the past, and your relationship will become as harmonious as can be. Your love bank balance will skyrocket, and you'll have a green light all the way on the road to love!

Questioner, I'm thrilled to share my thoughts and answer your question! I hope it'll be helpful for you.

And finally, I wish the questioner all the happiness and joy in the world!

Greetings, question asker.

I am Vision Dolphin Float, a licensed psychological counselor.

Your presence here to inquire about this matter indicates that you hold your girlfriend in high regard and are unable to move on from your feelings for her. However, his condition is indicative of a psychological disorder.

It is unclear whether you have taken your friend to see a medical professional yet. It is possible that his family of origin may be a contributing factor.

From your description, it can be seen that your girlfriend displays a tendency towards overbearing behavior and even exhibits a proclivity for violence.

It is difficult to remain passive when one's child is subjected to physical abuse by another individual. I can comprehend your emotional state.

It is challenging to determine whether to prioritize his mother or his girlfriend. If he wishes to maintain the relationship, he must provide his mother with an explanation.

It would be advisable to arrange for your girlfriend to be examined by a psychiatrist and neurologist. This would enable any physical abnormalities to be identified.

It is unclear how long your friend has been in this state. It is possible that the trauma experienced in his or her original family has not been adequately resolved.

It is possible that he is genuinely unwell, trapped in his own mind, and insecure. This may be the root cause of his aggressive behaviour towards others.

A professional diagnosis by a medical practitioner is necessary to ascertain whether the individual in question is physically healthy before a psychological diagnosis can be made.

His behavior suggests that he is a conservative thinker.

The presence of these two factors—jealousy and lack of understanding—

It is imperative that he abstain from any and all inappropriate behavior. This will necessitate a systematic approach to psychological counseling and treatment.

Furthermore, your behavior indicates that you have reached your limit and are unable to tolerate your girlfriend's erratic moods.

However, out of a sense of responsibility towards his girlfriend, he did not relinquish his feelings for her. If one is able to tolerate one's girlfriend's every emotion,

Should one be willing to enter into a relationship with a partner, it would be prudent to attempt to reconcile the relationship between said partner and one's mother.

To circumvent potential disagreements between your partner and her mother, it is advisable to maintain separate residences following your marriage.

It is recommended that steps be taken to reduce the likelihood of conflicts between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Additionally, efforts should be made to enhance the happiness index of the young couple.

?‍♂️Your girlfriend is inclined to be suspicious by nature. It is therefore imperative that you provide her with guidance in a patient and understanding manner.

The severity of the situation as described is a determining factor. It is reasonable to assume that your girlfriend is also suffering.

It is unclear whether you have engaged in constructive dialogue following each conflict. Have you attempted to comprehend the underlying distress of your partner?

One must inquire as to the source of this behavior. Has a discussion been held regarding the girlfriend's family of origin?

It would be beneficial to inquire with your girlfriend about her family of origin and the dynamics of her parents' marriage.

What was the nature of his upbringing?

It is possible that these experiences may have caused an indelible trauma to his young mind, which may have contributed to his current character. It is my hope that you will soon achieve your desired outcome and make your own decision.

The investment of love is essentially irreversible. Love and responsibility are inextricably linked, and ensuring one's happiness in the second half of their life is contingent upon these two factors.

Ultimately, the decision must be made by the individual in question. Furthermore, the individual must consider the advantages and disadvantages of their decision independently.

Ultimately, it is your decision to make. I hope that your future is filled with happiness.

Give you a hug! It's not easy to change someone, but you can do it! Your girlfriend seems to be very insecure in your relationship, but you can help her feel secure again.

I'm not sure if you've made her feel too good and have made her completely lack confidence, or if you haven't given her enough security. From your description, it seems that you and your family treat her pretty well, so it may be more to do with the girl herself. I'll give you a little advice, and I really hope it helps!

1. If you're not sure whether you want to separate from her, you can try giving her more security! Take the initiative to report and keep a distance from other girls. See if she changes!

2. We highly recommend that your girlfriend receive psychological counseling to find out if her behavior is natural or due to your reasons.

3. Whether it is inborn or because of you, it seems that your personalities do not match well. Then, getting married is not for the purpose of getting divorced. Can you put up with it for the next few decades? If not, what should you do?

4. It's time to take a step back and calm down your relationship for a while. This doesn't mean giving up on getting married, it just means you need to take a little time for yourself to figure things out.

Marriage is a wonderful thing! It's not something to be entered into lightly, though. You need the right person to get a lasting and happy marriage.

This is an exciting time for you! It's a great opportunity to evaluate your relationship and see if there's room for improvement. And if there is, how much time do you think it will take to make it happen? Love is not blind tolerance. If she's suspicious of you, you can absolutely tolerate that. But her attitude towards your family is a bit chilling, right?

Your parents are not easy, but they'll accept you again in no time!

If you're set on getting married, and she's not willing to change, it's possible that she and your parents might not see eye to eye. But that's okay! It just means you'll have to navigate that together.

It's so great to see how responsible you are! I really hope you find happiness in marriage.

Hello. I'm curious to know what actions you've taken during your breakups and makeups with your girlfriend that have led to your partner doubting you.

Could you please tell me why you broke up and got back together? I'd also like to understand what led you to get back together each time.

From your description, it seems that she is sensitive and suspicious, insecure, cares about you a great deal, values your relationship, and is somewhat anxious and clingy.

When I'm with you, I often feel insecure. I tend to seek attention by engaging in conflict and arguing. It seems like you sometimes play the role of a "victim child." I'm very innocent. You torture me like this every day. I'm not sure what to do to make things better.

I believe you have tried a number of approaches, but unfortunately, despite your best efforts, it seems that the other person remains unsatisfied. It can be challenging when things don't work out the way we hope.

On the one hand, I am interested in pursuing marriage, but on the other hand, I am having difficulty accepting the other person's personality.

It appears that relationship issues often revolve around the other person, and that changes in the other person may not necessarily lead to changes in the relationship itself.

It is important to remember that relationships involve two people. When you first had a conflict, how did you handle it?

Could you please tell me what efforts you have made in your relationship?

I hope you can describe it clearly so that we can work together to identify the root cause and explore potential solutions.

Hello, question asker. I can see you're feeling confused right now. Let's give you a warm hug!

You're going through some relationship issues right now. Let me give you a hug again.

From what you've told me, it seems like your girlfriend's problems might be related to a lack of security.

And why she doesn't feel secure.

This probably goes back to a relationship she had with her mother when she was a baby.

Maybe when she was a baby, every time she cried, her mom ignored her and kept to herself.

As a result, she developed an anxious attachment pattern when she grew up.

So, who usually makes the first move when they get back together?

It's more tiring to keep breaking up and getting back together.

How long did you and your girlfriend end up talking for in total?

Could the following situation also be a factor?

You feel like your girlfriend isn't the right one for you, but you don't want to end things. That's why you keep agreeing to get back together.

Can you tell me a bit about your family background?

It's also possible that you have an ambivalent attachment style.

It might not be your girlfriend's fault, and it could also be partly due to your own family of origin.

If you really want to keep your relationship with your girlfriend going, you might also need to make some changes yourself. Are you willing to do that?

If you do end up with your girlfriend, I'd suggest you both look into professional psychological counseling and couples counseling.

That's all I've got for now.

I really hope you can resolve this issue soon.

I hope my answer above is helpful and inspiring for you. I study hard every day, and I'm happy to help.

Here at Yixinli, we love what we do and we love our customers. Best wishes!

Good day, original poster.

From your description, it is evident that you and your girlfriend are experiencing significant challenges in your relationship. Your girlfriend's behavior has left you feeling confused, hurt, and uncertain about how to address these issues. I can empathize with your situation.

My girlfriend and I have experienced numerous instances of separation and reconciliation. She consistently exhibits a lack of trust in me and displays a proclivity for suspicion towards others. She frequently harbours suspicions that I am involved with another woman. On occasion, she becomes enraged when I engage in conversation with an unfamiliar woman on WeChat. Even when other women express interest in me, she assumes that I am engaging in an extramarital affair. In the past, when we engaged in conflict, she would terminate my WeChat account and ignore me. Currently, she has resorted to physical violence and verbal abuse. This incident involved a miscarriage, which she attributes to her own negligence.

From the description of this text, it can be seen that the author engages in frequent arguments, that his girlfriend feels insecure, and that she is possessive. However, it can also be seen that she is afraid of being abandoned by him. The opinion expressed by Teacher Yan Guilai is also supported. Indeed, the author's behaviour is similar to that of someone who has previously been in a relationship. In that context, the author also played the role of an argumentative and confrontational partner, seeking to assert his status as the boyfriend of the girlfriend in question. This can be seen as a psychological defence mechanism, aimed at ensuring that his boyfriend cares more about him. If the author had a child, he might also display similar levels of grumpiness to his girlfriend, as this is a manifestation of a lack of self-confidence and a serious fear of losing. This, in turn, produces a self-protection mechanism. If the author's boyfriend simply had contact with the opposite sex, he would also fly into a rage.

You stated that your girlfriend had a miscarriage due to carelessness. This may also be related to the fact that the environment you and your family create for her psychologically feels threatening, causing her to have certain negative emotions. She is psychologically weak and sensitive, which in turn affects her body. All of these are related. It can also be seen here that the nature of your relationship with your girlfriend is increasingly developing in a weak direction, and you may not be aware of the seriousness of the problem.

Despite the fact that our entire family is providing care for her at home, she continues to express negative sentiments towards my family and makes derogatory remarks about them. She appears to believe that every interaction with others is centered around her. Recently, she has also initiated a conflict with my parents, resulting in a breakdown in communication between them and me. In particular, she engaged in a physical altercation with me in front of my mother. Now that she has recuperated, she has relocated from our family residence and even admonished my mother.

It is possible that your family is taking good care of your girlfriend, and that your girlfriend is highly sensitive and believes that your family is discussing her. This may also be the case, as women are more emotionally perceptive than men and are more attuned to verbal and emotional cues in relationships. What she says may also be an accurate reflection of reality, which you may not have fully perceived. Alternatively, the actions of your family towards your girlfriend may be a mere superficial performance. Men are less emotionally attuned than women and are more inclined to be rational. They may not fully comprehend the nuances of subtle interactions, which could explain why you have not fully grasped or observed the underlying truth. (This is merely a hypothesis.)

In general, the respondent has not provided his girlfriend with sufficient trust and security, which has caused her a great deal of distress. There are some issues that he may not have fully considered, which has also caused his girlfriend a certain degree of neglect and disregard. Therefore, it would be beneficial for him to learn to communicate with his girlfriend in a neutral and positive manner, ask her for her perspective, and understand her motives for engaging in these behaviors. It would be helpful for him to distinguish between reality and perception. It is possible that we, as individuals involved in this situation, are unable to see the essence of things clearly. In such cases, it may be beneficial to seek the guidance of professional consultants who can provide a third-party perspective on the relationship and the underlying issues, and then make necessary adjustments and solutions.

The aforementioned perspective is offered in good faith. However, it is acknowledged that it may be perceived as uncomfortable by some parties.

It is my hope that this response will prove useful to you. Sincerely,

Hello! I am psychological counselor Cai Li.

From your description, it's clear you value this relationship. You haven't definitively abandoned your girlfriend because of her various "acts," and you're still hoping her personality will change and everything will be fine.

Let me be clear: changing one's nature is difficult. Attempting to change someone else's nature is even more challenging.

Your girlfriend is an extremely insecure person, and her insecurity is likely rooted in her upbringing and attachment to her parents (caregivers).

She has a scared little girl inside her, afraid of being abandoned. She tests people to see if they will abandon her.

She wants to be loved on a rational level, but her actions push others away, and she is eventually abandoned.

There is a term in psychology called "self-fulfilling prophecy." If someone subconsciously feels that they are unloved, unlovable, and terrible, they will do a series of things to make this prophecy come true.

Once again, she was right. No one will love her, and everyone will abandon her in the end.

I'm telling you this so you can understand her behavior. You need to decide whether to stay with her or not.

Let me be frank: it's exhausting to be in an intimate relationship with someone like this. You have to be secure in yourself. When her inner child, who feels fear and is afraid of being abandoned, comes out to cause trouble, you have to be able to catch her like an adult catches a child.

You must accept her as she is and be willing to be with her even if she doesn't change. Trying to change her will only lead to frustration.

You must accept her as she is, the real her, before you can decide whether to give up this difficult relationship.

I am confident that the above will be of some help to you.

The world and I love you!