What if you have already received the certificate but haven't yet had the wedding, and you can't let go of your husband's past?

Dear friend, I can understand your pain very well after reading your confession. Everyone hopes that their partner will treat them equally and sincerely in return. But you feel that your husband has deceived you by hiding something from you. You are about to get married, but you are suffering because of his past. Let's discuss how to deal with this together!

1. Your current situation is very similar to that of someone who is obsessed with the past and refuses to extricate themselves. You are preoccupied with what has already happened in the past, thinking that your husband has met and had relationships with many women, while you have only had one man, your aunt, which is unfair. But here's the good news! You can change this!

But think about it: even if you pursue fairness and he is willing to give you fairness, can time be turned back? Even if it can be turned back, would you feel more fair if you went back in time and had more boyfriends, or if you dissuaded your husband from having less relationships with other people?

But is it possible? If you could date other people, would you still be with him?

Oh my, honey, if you had met your husband earlier, would you have ended up like this?

There are so many wonderful things in life to focus on! You can't go back to the past and rewrite it, so instead of causing yourself trouble, just live your life to the fullest!

2. Look to the future! Life goes on, and you can't change the past. So, seize the moment and live your future to the fullest! He loves you, and you're a legal couple. So, don't miss out on all the amazing things you can do together!

And if you get angry like this, your attitude towards him will also worsen. Now he is not cheating on you, but you are still acting like this. Do you want to push him to the side for someone else? Do you really want to cheat on him?

Oh my, honey, you're being a bit silly thinking about doing this! Everyone has a past, and you love someone for their qualities and the future you'll share together. You don't want to be stuck like this for the rest of your life, do you?

It's not worth it!

3. I would absolutely recommend that anyone entering into marriage read the book "Love, Need to Learn," which teaches people how to get along in an intimate relationship. You should definitely read it!

I'm so happy to share this with you! It's a great reference for anyone looking to improve their relationship. Thank you!

Hello!

You're sad because your ex had sex with many women. You feel sad because you only had one ex. I understand how you feel. I hug you from afar.

Your boyfriend's actions may make you feel distrustful and sad. You may also see your possessiveness. Everyone will have such thoughts. I have an ex with many exes or sexual partners. I am possessive. We do not allow our partners to have many people, including having sex with them. We also do not accept such behaviors. It will occupy our inner psychology and cause imbalance. Everyone will have such situations.

If we don't accept our partner's behavior, we're not tolerant. The past is over. We need to see our current feelings, appreciate this marriage, see our relationship's problems, deal with them, and solve them. All problems can be solved easily.

We can also communicate well with our partner and tell him that he cares about this matter. We should also express our needs to our partner and tell him how we feel. We should hope that he will maintain this marriage and let go of the past. We should live well in the present and if he can live well with us and move on, we will be fine with it. This requires us to adjust our mentality and express our needs in time. Our boyfriend really loves us and will take actions to make us believe in ourselves.

Good day, My name is Jia Ao, and I am not here to cause any trouble.

I have carefully read the issues and confusion you outlined on the platform. Are you experiencing challenges in your marital relationship? You stated that you and your partner got married, but recently, under your questioning, you learned a lot about his past. His past relationships were quite complex, and he had more romantic experiences than you. You feel particularly uneasy, and he even cheated on you during the relationship. As a result, you are now particularly distressed and sad. Despite knowing in your heart that it is his past, you are unable to move past this obstacle. You are unsure of how to let go of his past.

From your description, it is evident that you are experiencing significant distress and conflict in response to your husband's past. Despite his current positive conduct, including fidelity and a desire for a good life with you, you have already become trapped in a cycle of negative emotions and are unable to break free. You are aware that dwelling on the past is unproductive and counterproductive to your relationship, yet you are unable to control your thoughts and actions. What steps should you take?

If you are unable to let go of your husband's past after marriage, what should you do?

In response to your question, I will assist you in analyzing and organizing the relevant information.

1. [Try to let go of the past]

It is important to understand that your current mindset is largely influenced by your past experiences. It is crucial to recognize that your partner's past actions, including infidelity, should not define your present reality. Your tendency to dwell on the past is a negative mindset that hinders your ability to enjoy the present and plan for the future. If you truly value your relationship and want to build a lasting bond, it is essential to learn to let go of past hurts and embrace the present. Seizing control of your current situation and managing your marriage effectively are crucial steps in creating a positive future together.

If two people are together and they keep dwelling on the past, it will be difficult for them to enjoy the present. Because all of their energy is focused on dwelling and arguing, they cannot see the opportunities for happiness in the present, which negatively affects their lives. All they can do is create problems for each other, and the problems will be twice as bad as they are now. If you think about this, you will know what to do.

2. Trust is the foundation of a relationship.

Your negative psychology is due to feelings of jealousy regarding his past. It is evident that you are mentally unbalanced, which indicates that you care a great deal about him. You care about his past without him, but you must be aware that if you continue to dwell on it, it will only result in a further deterioration of your relationship. If you truly care about him, you would have already married him. It is essential to try to love him and trust him unreservedly, without suspicion, and to manage your family and relationship effectively. This is the optimal way to maintain a healthy relationship. If you continue to dwell on the past, it will only intensify your pain and cause you to become increasingly immersed in it, leading to prolonged suffering.

3. [Seek external assistance]

It is not possible to change the past, and it is already history. If you wish to move on from your husband's past, you must change your mindset. Effective communication with him is essential, and you may also benefit from talking to someone close to you, who can help you to open your heart and let go of your worries.

It is recommended that you attempt to let go of your husband's past, devote yourself wholeheartedly to your family and husband, and strive to eliminate any barriers between you in the future. There should be no more suspicion, and you should speak your mind directly. This should result in a more harmonious and happy relationship. Just thinking about it makes you feel that the future is very bright! We encourage you to give it a try.

I encourage you to give it a try. You may be pleasantly surprised. I hope that everything is okay.

I hope this response is helpful to you. Best regards, [Name]

Dear Questioner,

Greetings!

I extend a gesture of empathy and understanding towards you, acknowledging your struggles with letting go.

First, it is necessary to address the residual emotional issues that may be impeding progress.

You perceive a sense of imbalance. He has been involved in more than two prior relationships, whereas you have only been involved in one. Additionally, he has engaged in extramarital affairs with multiple partners, whereas you have only been involved in one such relationship.

This results in a sense of being cheated.

You perceive yourself to have been the victim of a deceitful act. During the period of your relationship, your partner was still involved with his former girlfriend and provided you with false information, stating that they had terminated their relationship. He had been involved with multiple former partners, but only admitted to you that he had been involved with two.

You indicated that there were numerous issues, but after a thorough examination, only two primary concerns emerged: the first is the perception of infidelity, and the second is the sensation of imbalance.

Subsequently, it would be beneficial to ascertain whether an understanding of these two issues has been achieved following the period of cohabitation. From the aforementioned account, it can be discerned that an understanding has been reached.

It is possible that he did not disclose the entirety of the truth. In any case, you pardoned him at the time and elected to continue the relationship. Less than a year later, you were officially married.

Given that you initially opted for forgiveness, it is perplexing why you are experiencing doubts, imbalances, anxiety, and pain as you prepare to enter the marriage hall.

It would be beneficial to calm down and analyze the reasons behind your emotional state. Is it simply because he informed you of a few additional former romantic partners and their history?

It is important to understand the nature of your anger.

From an alternative perspective, it would be beneficial to consider your boyfriend's actions from his point of view.

What were the motivating factors behind his infidelity?

During the period of his romantic involvement, he provided false information regarding the number of his previous romantic partners and concealed a few of them in order to gain your trust. This can be considered a relatively minor act of deception.

It would have been advisable to divulge all pertinent details of your past to your partner, and thus, it would have been reasonable to expect him to do the same. Had he disclosed the full extent of his past at the time, it is likely that you would have chosen to pardon him.

The rationale behind your boyfriend's decision to divulge certain information to you is not simply a result of your persistent inquiries. Rather, it was driven by his belief that you had already initiated the marriage license process and were unlikely to terminate the relationship. Consequently, he felt emboldened to share details about his past that he had previously withheld.

From his perspective, his thoughts and actions are not unexpected, and it is evident that he cares about you deeply.

It is therefore unnecessary to dwell on this any further and it would be advisable to once again understand and forgive him.

What are the underlying causes of this perceived imbalance?

It is important to recognise that everyone has a past, and that both parties involved in a relationship will have had previous relationships prior to meeting their current partner. It is therefore unnecessary to compare the number of previous relationships that each individual has had and to strive for balance in this area.

Do you feel aggrieved because he has had five previous relationships and you have only had one or two?

It is important to recognise that people are emotional creatures. For those who are sentimental, the end of a relationship will inevitably leave a psychological impact, resulting in feelings of hurt and pain. Therefore, rather than striving for equilibrium, it is more beneficial to acknowledge the positive aspects of the current relationship and express gratitude for having only one ex-partner and a current partner with whom one can build a life. It is essential to empathise with your boyfriend for having experienced multiple relationships and to identify if he has been hurt. By demonstrating compassion and understanding, you can facilitate his healing and assist him in moving on from the past.

In conclusion, I offer a few pieces of advice.

It is recommended that you cease dwelling on past events and choose to forgive your boyfriend. It would be beneficial to let go of your obsession with the so-called cheating and imbalance.

The act of letting go of these entanglements is akin to relinquishing the potential for self-harm. Upon doing so, one experiences a profound sense of bodily relaxation.

It would be prudent to choose to be grateful. One should be grateful that one's boyfriend finally told one everything about his past, which took a great deal of courage.

He made this choice, which demonstrates his profound regard for you. He aspires to be a source of goodness in your life and is reluctant to confront certain issues. His current conduct evinces a desire to live a virtuous life with you, which is a testament to his character. Instead of attributing blame, it would be more constructive to express gratitude for his actions.

It is important to continue to develop and grow as a couple. The foundation of a successful marriage and family is built on mutual respect and understanding between both partners.

A wise woman will neither dwell on her partner's past nor bring up his past on a regular basis. What has been done is done, and what is important is to make the most of every day, both now and in the future.

By becoming a wise woman, one who is not perplexed by significant issues and unperturbed by minor concerns, couples can establish an optimal relationship and foster a perfect family. This will ensure that their child is raised in a warm family environment and has a promising future.

It is my sincere hope that you will be able to let go and love your child with all your heart, embracing the opportunity to grow old together.

It is my sincere hope that you will experience a life filled with joy and contentment.