What should I do if I am a 20-year-old girl who is very anxious and suffering because I cannot handle dormitory issues?

#Hello, I'm Gu Yi, and I'm as modest and self-effacing as ever!

♥ Take a moment to sort out your feelings and take stock!

The age of 20 is an amazing time in life! It's a period of great sensitivity when our minds are still developing. We pay a lot of attention to what others think of us, want to be affirmed, are afraid of being alone, and are afraid of doing anything alone.

However, the first roommate relationship presents an opportunity to learn and grow. It's a chance to develop interpersonal skills and navigate the challenges that come with forming new relationships. Don't worry, you're not alone! Many college students have faced similar challenges and have found creative ways to overcome them. So, how can you make the most of your dormitory relationships and address their root causes?

We've already had some contact with university life, and when we face it again, we'll be even better prepared than before! We'll have a solid psychological foundation to draw on. And here's another thing: sincerity is your best billboard! All we have to do is be ourselves, learn a few simple skills for getting along with others, and understand the basic wisdom of getting along with others.

♥ It's so much fun getting along with people who have different talents!

❀People in university dormitories come from all over the country, which means there's a whole world of possibilities right there in our living spaces! We come from our own small circles, and our living habits, thinking patterns, values, friendship styles, time concepts, etc. are all different. So if we can have a certain understanding, we can communicate better with each other. Initially, it is difficult to integrate, but if we respect differences and sincerely release ourselves, we can always make friends!

❀Don't put too much effort into any relationship. Many children try to avoid being isolated at school by trying to please others from the beginning, without a sense of boundaries and being nice to others. However, this is actually not a healthy relationship. Everything needs to be done in moderation. Master your own rhythm, integrate and adapt, rather than please others.

The university is a big, exciting stage! You'll find that the topics discussed in the sophomore dormitory are different from those in the freshman dormitory. You'll also find that as you get older, your classmates don't seem as "bad" as they used to be. Everyone is busy finding their role on this university stage and making their lives more colorful. So find your own rhythm and be yourself, and there will always be interpersonal relationships that suit you! You'll also slowly feel the changing atmosphere in the dormitory.

Wishing you the very best!

OK, hello, thanks for asking. I'm Coffee.

From your description, I can tell you're anxious and afraid. You were treated this way when you were a freshman for the first time.

They leave a psychological shadow that will affect your future life and studies.

You've been through a difficult time and have taken a year off school. You're wondering if you're different from other people.

They can be very disturbing. At the same time, you are worried that if you don't go to school, you may not get your undergraduate degree. And the fact that you have to go to work makes you a little anxious.

You don't want to go to school. You're afraid it will be just like last time.

You are now filled with two emotions: anxiety and fear.

We're going to face these two emotions head on. We're going to think about them.

You need to learn how to relax. Anxiety and fear are very bad emotional experiences.

They can and will prevent you from acting. They lead to procrastination or refusal in your studies and in life. This causes a lot of problems in your studies and in life.

This will have a big impact on you, so we need to find a way to solve this problem.

First, we must believe firmly that we can do this. We must study hard and graduate from university through our own efforts.

We can reinforce this belief by thinking positively. We may face challenges along the way, but with daily effort, we can strengthen our resolve to complete university.

Sometimes we are not afraid to do something, but we are torn between wanting to do it and not wanting to do it, which can make us struggle and suffer a lot. However, not going to university under the current conditions is a huge mistake that will harm our future development.

We must overcome our difficulties, strengthen our ideals, and finish university. We will encounter difficulties and suffering, but we will overcome them. First, resolve the two thoughts of wanting to go to university and not wanting to go. Choose one.

You're going to college to become a better version of yourself. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. My goal is to graduate successfully.

I will consider it a great success as long as I get my diploma and degree. I don't need to compete with other students or achieve better results. I just want to complete the undergraduate stage of university.

The vast majority of university students—over 95%—will obtain a diploma and degree certificate. This is not something you need to worry about. Obtaining an undergraduate degree is still very easy, and passing the exams is relatively simple if you want to. You will have classmates to help you, and your teachers will also provide reviews. You only need to take a few courses and pass a few exams in one semester. You can find university teachers or counselors for support and help. You can also find the school's psychologist, who is free to provide psychological guidance. There are also some psychological associations with classmates who can provide support.

You should also know that college dormitories may be different from the last time. You may meet some warm and friendly classmates, but it's not a certainty.

If things in the dormitory are still not going well, we can and should contact our families more often to seek their support and help. If you have any problems or concerns, you can and should call home and talk about your situation. Your family can't help much, but they can help you talk through your situation.

Your family is your strongest support. Maintain a good relationship with your dormitory roommates, but don't let it go too far.

If you get along well, you can become good friends. If you don't get along well, be polite and courteous, and save face.

Join a few communities on Yixinli and talk to our teachers about your dilemmas and doubts. Yixinli has many discussion groups, and you can also seek help from the teachers there.

You can also seek help from listening coaches and heart exploration coaches. If it's your first time seeking help from a coach, you will receive a discount, and students also get a discount. All of our teachers will help you get through your university years together.

You are not alone in your struggle or in overcoming your difficulties. Many of our teachers at Yixin are available 24/7.

And your family will definitely support you. If your family doesn't understand your situation, the teachers at Yixin will. We've encountered many such situations, and we can help you navigate them.

OK, so gather your courage and go to university. You will be accompanied by the One Psychology teachers for four years. We will support you and encourage you.

We will help you finish university. The world and I love you.

Hello, and thank you for the invitation.

I'm a mindfulness coach, and I believe learning is the greatest gift the body can receive.

From what you've said, I can tell you're feeling a lot of pressure. It seems like you're struggling with a lot of different emotions, including worry, anxiety, fear, despair, pain, and a sense of being overwhelmed.

I'm not going to get into the nitty-gritty of your issues with your roommate, but I do have three pieces of advice for you:

First, I suggest you try to understand and accept your current situation.

It'll also help you feel a bit more at ease, which will give you a clearer idea of what to do next.

You said that when you first started university, you were isolated by your roommate, no one would talk to you, and you would occasionally get a taunting comment. Then you took a year off, and now you've returned to school and moved to a new dormitory. But now you're so afraid of the start of the semester, you're worried that you'll mess up again, and you're afraid to deal with your roommate relationship. You're especially anxious and desperate. In fact, your state of mind is understandable, because many people have been troubled by something in the past, and it is very likely that they are afraid of not being able to deal with it again. As we often say, "once bitten by a snake, afraid of a straw for ten years." So you have to try to understand and accept yourself, "see" the anxious and fearful, but temporarily at a loss as to what to do, painful self, this will give you extra mental energy to think about other things, otherwise your mind will be filled with all kinds of negative emotions.

It's also important to allow yourself to understand and accept yourself so you can make changes in your current situation. It might sound a bit contradictory, but it's true because change is based on allowing for no change.

Secondly, I suggest you take a rational look at your own situation.

Rational thinking can help you understand yourself and reality better.

To get a clear picture of the situation, there are two things you need to do:

First, remember that people are social animals and need to live in interpersonal relationships. There are bound to be all kinds of problems in interpersonal relationships because everyone has a different upbringing and will always deal with things in different ways and have different opinions.

To put it another way, the current issue between you and your roommate requires you to tackle it head-on. After all, when you leave campus and enter the real world, you'll encounter all kinds of problems. If you can look at this from a positive perspective and learn to handle your relationship with your roommate, you'll be helping yourself grow and learn how to deal with various interpersonal problems in your future life.

Plus, you're not the same person you were a year ago. You've grown up, and you're probably going to be just fine handling your current dorm situation.

Second, remember that things don't have to stay the same. You can change them.

When you put in the effort, your mindset will shift, and your dynamic with your roommate will evolve. It's important to recognize your strengths and embrace them, because everyone has them, and you are no exception. When you can see the sparkle in yourself, you'll likely feel more confident, and in turn, let go of any negative emotions. At the same time, you must also learn to view yourself with a developing perspective, because you are still young, only 20 years old, and you still have time and energy to improve and perfect yourself. You must recognize the power of time and your own strength.

I'd like to suggest that you focus on yourself and think about what you can do to feel better.

When you take a step back and look at the big picture, you might even know what to do. At this point, you focus on yourself and try your best to do well.

For instance, you can reflect on what you've achieved since you took a break from school. Have you considered how you'd handle being isolated by your roommate again? You could have a constructive conversation with them to understand their perspective. Once you know the reason, you may have a clear path forward (if it's something you can control). If it's not your issue, you can also recognize that you don't have to take it personally. You may realize that even if your roommate isolates you, it doesn't mean you're not valuable, and you can still connect with other students. After processing this, you may feel more at ease.

You can also have a good chat with your trusted family and friends and tell them how you really feel. Opening up to others like this can really help to lift your mood because once negative emotions start flowing, they have a healing effect. They'll also be able to offer you some understanding, support and advice, which can make a big difference.

You can also calm down when you're feeling particularly anxious and desperate. Talk to yourself and tell yourself, "I'm not the same person I was before, and my roommates are no longer the people they used to be. I've grown up, and I've become stronger over the past year. I'm very likely to be able to deal with this matter." Repeat this positive self-talk and encouragement to yourself until it starts to have an effect on your mood.

You can also read some books you want to read (like "Nonviolent Communication" and "The Art of Communication," etc.), learn some skills on how to get along with others, which may also help you feel better. In short, you need to know that you can do something to improve the situation.

When you start taking action, all those negative emotions will start to melt away. Sometimes, taking action is the best way to beat those negative feelings.

I hope my answer helps. If you want to talk more, just click "Find a coach to interpret – online conversation" at the bottom, and I'll be happy to chat with you one-on-one.

Good question.

From your description, I can tell you're anxious and worried about returning to dorm life after being isolated and suspended from school. You're even considering giving up your studies, but you've weighed the pros and cons and know you can't give up your college degree. You've decided to face your fears head-on, but you're unsure how to relieve your anxiety. It seems you're now deeply immersed in your own anxiety and can't extricate yourself. Just the thought of going back to school makes you uncontrollably afraid and worried.

I think you're worried that you'll be isolated again like before. You think you can't handle it if that happens. Being isolated is tough, but it won't happen again. After your recuperation, you'll see that differently. The new roommates are different, too. The situation will change.

If you can't get along with your roommate, adjust yourself and do your own thing.

From your description, it's clear you need help establishing good interpersonal relationships and learning to trust yourself. You're not confident in your ability to handle provocation and sarcasm from others. I'm going to give you some suggestions that I hope will help you.

1. Know your strengths and build a solid, well-rounded self-image.

At 20, your perception and views of yourself are susceptible to influence from others. It's easy to undervalue yourself after setbacks. One or two setbacks or malicious harm done to you by others does not mean it is your own problem. The other person is likely unable to deal with their emotions and is looking for superiority or catharsis through you.

You must analyze thoroughly the things you were previously isolated from. Do not carry the faults of others and hurt yourself. Record your strengths and good moods daily. You will discover more advantages in your daily life.

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Don't waste your time comparing your weaknesses with other people's strengths. Read "Inferiority Complex and Transcendence" instead.

2. Learn interpersonal communication skills and break through your own limitations.

If you realize that you lack interpersonal skills, accept yourself. Everyone is different. Just because you are not good at interpersonal skills does not mean you are not good. You have other strengths. If your interpersonal skills affect your normal study and life, read more books on the subject, such as "Emotional Intelligence" and "Nonviolent Communication," or talk to someone you know who is good at these skills.

You must have confidence in yourself, face your fears, and slowly break through your shell. Start by trying a challenging situation that you know you can handle.

3. Be assertive and learn to protect yourself when facing the ill intentions or malicious harm of others.

Everyone is different. We are born with different personalities, and we grow up with different experiences and in different environments. Everyone brings their own values, preferences, and self-defense mechanisms to the way they deal with things. Being different is not a bad thing. When faced with malicious intent from others, you must remain firm and ignore their ill-intentioned comments. You should know that this may also be a self-defense mechanism brought on by their own trauma, and it's none of your business.

Do your own thing, protect yourself well, and seek help from teachers, parents, etc. when necessary.

You can do it! I wish you more confidence, courage, and determination. You have the courage to be your true self, and you will find the joy of learning to become a better self!

Good morning, I hope this message finds you well. I am contacting you today regarding a question you posed. Thank you for your patience as I gather the necessary information to respond to your question. I will be in touch shortly. Best regards,

I am deeply concerned about your situation. It is clear that you are facing significant challenges, and I empathize with your situation. I want to extend my support and offer my assistance in any way I can.

I understand your situation very well. You may feel like you have been in a difficult situation for a long time. In the first semester of college, the dormitory made you feel like years of torture, and you were isolated by your roommates. It really feels like your mentality is on the verge of collapse. You really haven't had an easy time. After living in that environment for a while, you are now fortunate to have taken a break from school to get through those difficult times.

You have gained energy through taking a break from school, and you have summoned up the courage to face the prospect of graduating from college. This is a common feeling, so your current despair and anxiety are also very understandable and normal. Please take a moment to acknowledge your feelings.

I believe that, despite the current challenges, we have gained valuable experience and maturity since the first semester of college. Furthermore, there is a limit to how low we can go, given that we were adequately prepared for that period. It is unlikely that we will face any more significant difficulties.

I will now provide my personal experience and share my views on this matter.

First and foremost, you are now fully prepared with your thoughts.

You have come to a psychological platform for scientific help at the earliest possible stage of the semester. This is your greatest awareness of yourself. To be aware of yourself in psychology is to embark on the road to healing. You have come here to seek help and will look at various information from multiple perspectives, after which you will come up with various coping mechanisms. This way, we are not fighting an unprepared battle. Compared to the first semester of college, we are much more experienced.

Secondly, our objective is clearly defined.

Our objective is straightforward: to obtain a Bachelor's degree and a diploma. Without these qualifications, we will not be able to graduate, secure employment, or lead a fulfilling life. Therefore, we must prioritize adapting to the present to ensure we achieve our long-term goals.

Secondly, we have matured significantly since last semester. We now have a better understanding of dormitory relationships and are more equipped to handle similar situations. We are also more cautious about future relationships with our classmates. By being mindful and seeking guidance, we can foster stronger and more positive relationships.

Ultimately, this is the mindset we should adopt: to view the 18 levels of hell as a challenge to be overcome. Regardless of the difficulties, we must persevere and never give up. By doing so, we can ensure a bright future.

I encourage you to attend school. By anticipating the worst, you can find satisfaction in the small positive aspects of your daily commute. This approach can enhance the overall experience of college life. Best wishes!

I would like to take this opportunity to express my gratitude to the world and to you, my dear colleagues.

Hello, dear. Let me give you a hug.

I get it. You're feeling anxious, nervous, and scared.

Think about the conflicts in your previous dorm room and consider what caused the relationship to be bad. If it was the other person's character, then you can stay away from them. There are still a lot of good roommates in the world, and I believe that the next roommates you meet will not be like the last one. They will definitely be nice people. If the next roommates are also like the last ones, then avoid communicating with them and try to avoid conflicts with them as much as possible, so that they don't affect your mood.

The goal for the young lady is to graduate successfully. She can focus all her efforts on her studies, keep her distance from them, and spend less time with them. She can just think of the dormitory as a place to sleep. If she's done something wrong in the past, she can try to change things after entering the new dormitory.

Also, try not to worry too much. Stressing out won't help. Why not watch a TV drama or movie to take your mind off things? That might help you feel better.

I hope you get to meet a great group of roommates!

Hello, classmate. I see you're confused. I'm here for you.

You're having some interpersonal problems. Let me give you a hug.

Your first semester as a freshman was ruined by your roommate.

You're afraid of the new semester.

You're afraid to face the dorm relationships. You're afraid you'll mess up again. You've even thought about giving up school.

You need to go to school to get your certificate.

Your problem is causing you a lot of anxiety and pain.

Your past experience at the dorm has caused you trauma.

You'll still have the problem even if you move to a new dorm if you don't deal with the trauma.

It's like someone who can't swim. They can't swim in a pool either.

But getting a bachelor's degree is important for you.

What are you going to do now?

Seek help from the university psychologist. Let her deal with your experience of being isolated by your roommates in your freshman year.

The school counselor's services are free.

If there's no psychology teacher, get help from a counselor.

Student discount: 50% off. Fill out a form and submit a school certificate.

I hope you find a solution soon.

That's all I can think of.

I hope my answers help and inspire you. I'm here for you.

Yixinli loves you! Best wishes!

Everyone is a beacon of light! When you ask a question or answer one, your words can illuminate the hearts of many people. This is the amazing power we share!

Hello, I'm Xin Tan, Coach Fei Yun here! I can feel your worries and fears inside, and I'm here to help! "Touching a scene brings back emotions," and going back to that scene like that can easily make you recall painful experiences. But don't worry, I'm here to help you work through them!

Let's dive in and take a look at the problem, and I'm sure we'll find some great solutions!

?1. The past is not just one year, but also your incredible growth and changes!

It seems that you are still worried about the isolation you experienced from your roommate at the time (which was actually already school bullying). This is human instinct and a kind of stress response. Faced with the same dangerous situation, people naturally react to protect themselves — and you did just that!

However, over the past year, you may not even have noticed that you have actually been growing and developing! It's like when we hurt our knees and they still hurt a little, but they are slowly healing.

You took a break from school and have been at home, nervous and scared, but adjusting to yourself. Now you are planning to resume your studies and move to a new dormitory, which is exactly what you are doing to prepare for new challenges—and you're going to crush them!

These can empower you! You are no longer as vulnerable and weak as you were a year ago. After experiencing being isolated by your roommate, you also learned at the same time what it takes to not be isolated: be brave and confident in yourself! Bullying people are always looking for someone weaker than them.

?2. In the face of your life goals, those difficulties and obstacles are stepping stones to success!

Your value does not depend on others, but on yourself. It comes from your subjective evaluation of yourself. Being at the mercy of others and being bullied is not only the bully's "evil" that is unforgivable, but also our own "weakness." But here's the good news: you can choose to be anything you want to be!

"People who are kind are bullied." Kindness is right, but being too kind becomes weak and easy to bully. To a certain extent, it also encourages the "evil" of the bully. But here's the good news! You can beat the bully at their own game.

The great news is that nowadays, the whole country is cracking down on "school bullying," so no one dares to do it anymore!

Go to school with a new spirit and make those who have bullied you in the past tremble with fear and give way voluntarily! You can do it because when you have a goal in your heart, you walk with confidence and courage.

If you can't overcome this obstacle, there will be many more in the future, both at work and in life. But don't worry! If you see these as difficulties, they will really "confine" you. But if you regard them as stepping stones, you can use them as resources to make you stronger!

I really hope the above is helpful to you! And I just want to say that the world and I love you! ??

If you want to keep the conversation going, just click "Find a coach" in the top right corner or at the bottom. I'd love to keep chatting with you one-on-one and see how we can grow together!

Hello, dear girl! I am Warm-hearted Girl 1219, and I am absolutely thrilled to answer your question on Yi Xinli!

From your description, I can see that you've been through a lot as a freshman in college who had to take a year off because you were isolated by your roommates.

Now you have resumed your studies, and your suffering has returned. You are afraid of being isolated by your roommates again, and you even want to give up going to school, but you are worried that you will not get your diploma. But don't worry! You can overcome these challenges.

So, you are very conflicted and suffering. But don't worry! There are ways to help you.

I'm thrilled to offer the following suggestions to help you with the above problems:

1. Let's dive in and analyze the reasons why you were previously isolated by your roommates!

(1) Your own problem

If you haven't handled the situation well, don't worry! You can easily learn to correct your shortcomings. When you encounter problems, you can learn to think of solutions. It's a skill you can easily learn!

For example, you are isolated by your roommates because you are too withdrawn and like to be alone. Your roommates invite you to parties or hang out, but you don't want to participate. Over time, you will naturally be isolated by them. But here's the good news! You can change this!

In life, there are always things you don't want to do, but you can make compromises to fit in with the group (as long as you don't go against your principles).

☀️(2) Problems with roommates It's totally normal to have a few hiccups with your roommate from time to time. But don't worry, we've all been there! The key is to communicate and work through it together.

If there's a problem with your roommate, don't wait around for them to come to you! Take the initiative and communicate with them. As long as your roommate is reasonable, I'm sure they'll understand you and work to correct their shortcomings.

☀️(3) Summary Now for the big finish!

It's so important to get along with your roommates! You'll be living together for four years, so it's really important to have a good relationship. It'll help you study, it'll help you stay healthy, and it'll help you have a great time!

If you can't handle relationships well, these four years will be very painful and lonely. But if you can, you'll have the best four years of your life!

?2. Embrace the adventure of a new roommate relationship with courage and enthusiasm!

☀️Be bold! Don't be afraid of the start of the semester, and don't be afraid of new roommate relationships!

☀️Think positively! What if the new roommates are all friendly? You can do it! Believe in yourself, treat people sincerely, unite with your roommates, and help them when they need help. They won't isolate you.

☀️ Even if the new roommates are difficult to get along with, we can absolutely learn to get along with them amicably!

☀️Interacting with people is a skill that you can learn at university and it's a great life lesson too!

☀️People are social animals, and it's so important to handle interpersonal relationships well if you want to survive in society!

☀️In today's society, connections are everything! Build a wide network of contacts at university and it will be a huge advantage when you enter the workforce after graduation!

3. Keep up the great work! You've got this! Aim for that bachelor's degree!

☀️It is not easy to get into university, so you should absolutely cherish this rare opportunity to study and enjoy the good times at university. This is an important experience in life, and you're going to love it!

☀️The world is your oyster! While ability is important, academic qualifications are the golden ticket to landing a great job. Without them, it'll be tough to get where you want to be.

So, you must keep going to school and successfully get your undergraduate degree!

4. Get ready for school and embrace the adventure!

☀️I really hope you prepare well in advance for the start of the school year! Make sure you study hard, make lots of friends, and enjoy your new life!

☀️A new environment is the beginning of a new life! It's a great chance to start fresh, make a new you, and dive right into your new surroundings.

☀️Keep learning in both your studies and your relationships, constantly improve your abilities, and become an outstanding university student!

I wish you all the academic success in the world! You have a wonderful, harmonious roommate relationship!

Get a great, genuine friendship!

Wishing you the very best of luck!

Hello, little sister. As a middle school student who has lived in a dormitory since junior high, I know exactly what you're going through. You're not alone. Hugs.

I may still be your little sister, but I have three years of dormitory experience and I know I can help you.

It's not uncommon to be excluded from the dormitory. One of my roommates openly showed disdain for another student, whether through verbal sarcasm or intentional or unintentional bullying. However, the one being bullied was actually a kind girl who just wasn't great at interacting with others.

? The isolation was only one-sided, despite someone else's actions. The rest of us did not agree with it.

In the third year of junior high school, the roommate who isolated others transferred to another school. Once she left, there was no more isolation, bullying, or other malicious behavior in our dormitory. We all agreed that what had happened before was the fault of the roommate who had transferred.

It is inevitable that some people will treat the innocent around them with blatant malice. However, we must believe that there are more good people than bad people. Being isolated is not your fault; it is their fault.

Furthermore, being isolated and experiencing emotions such as fear and anxiety is not a sign of cowardice. I may not have experienced it myself, but I can imagine it must be a very scary thing, as if you were an island, with no one to trust and confide in, and no one to help you.

You've bravely raised this issue, and it shows you're eager for change. Don't live in the shadow of the past. When you step out of the darkness, the sunlight may be blinding, but you can defeat all the darkness by standing in the light.

Many people choose to pretend to be someone else, to be liked by others, and to live a cautious life in order to build good relationships. But I think that if pretending is too exhausting, then just be yourself. As long as we know that we are kind and have a clear conscience, then there's no need to worry. Just be yourself and treat others sincerely, and others will definitely be able to feel the real you.

I am certain that the young lady will overcome her past fears, regain her confidence, and embrace a bright future. Go for it!

Dear girl,

My name is Yi Ming, and I work as a heart exploration coach.

I can appreciate your feelings of distress.

"I was isolated by my roommate during the first semester of college," and now that school has started again, I'm a bit hesitant to navigate the dormitory relationships.

I would be delighted to walk with you through this experience, and I hope it will be a source of comfort and inspiration for you.

1. Perhaps it would be helpful to take some time to reflect on what happened.

I can relate to your situation.

When you first arrived in the dormitory, it seems that your roommate may have hurt you.

It is possible that you were subjected to violence for reasons that had nothing to do with you.

At the time, you were unsure of how to respond, which made the days seem to drag on for an extended period.

Now that we have moved to a new dormitory, we have the opportunity to rebuild our relationships with our roommates, which will undoubtedly be a challenge.

It is understandable to feel afraid now that you have these emotions.

Perhaps only after understanding and forgiving ourselves can we begin to recall how we viewed being isolated at the time.

Could you please share how you perceived and interpreted the actions of your roommates at the time?

Or could it be that you felt inadequate or inexperienced in handling relationships?

Or perhaps they were dealing with their own issues.

It might be helpful to consider interpreting it from multiple perspectives.

It is possible that you did not do anything wrong, or that a misunderstanding or someone else may have caused the situation.

If I may, I would like to share with you that if we think that the unpleasant experiences we have had are misfortunes, it might be helpful to remember:

It might be said that not all misfortunes have a reason.

Even the kindest people can sometimes experience misfortune.

Perhaps it would be helpful to avoid blaming yourself.

Please don't feel bad.

Perhaps you could have handled the situation better.

At that time, we may not have had the opportunity to learn how to resolve these problems.

Perhaps we could view entering a new dormitory and meeting new classmates as an opportunity to practice.

2. It might be helpful to encourage yourself more and learn some ways to get along with others.

I can appreciate your feelings of anxiety and discomfort. I've even considered stepping back from school and avoiding the challenge of navigating dormitory relationships.

It is not uncommon for freshmen to feel nervous and uneasy when faced with a new environment and new roommates.

I'm not sure if I'll be able to get along with my roommates.

One fundamental tenet of Adlerian psychology is the idea that "all human troubles stem from interpersonal relationships."

I believe there are three major themes in our lives:

I believe that friendship, work, and love are all subjects that we can all benefit from discussing.

I believe we all have to face the topic of making friends, and I think you probably agree that interpersonal relationships are very important for each of us.

Even if we are not yet proficient in this area, with dedication and practice, we can certainly improve.

For instance, it might be helpful to be friendly to others while maintaining your own boundaries and trying to see things from their perspective.

When conflicts arise, it is important to communicate effectively and avoid making assumptions about who is at fault.

We all have our own unique personalities and ways of interacting with the world.

If I might make one more suggestion, it would be to try to see things from other people's points of view.

The relationship in the dormitory is essentially a cooperative one. If you encounter any problems, you might like to consider using the word "we" to help resolve them.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider what you would like to achieve.

It would be ideal if everyone in the dormitory respected each other and got along well.

It might be helpful to try to find more things in common.

While it may not be possible to become close friends with our roommates right away, we can still feel at ease and comfortable in our dormitory.

Perhaps it would be helpful to lower your expectations just a little.

It might be helpful to allow yourself to adapt slowly.

I am confident that I can handle any challenges that may arise.

If you have any further questions, you are welcome to ask your teachers, classmates, or to come here to ask questions.

If it is of interest to you, you may wish to consider reading The Courage to Be Happy.

I wish you the best of luck!

I would like to extend my love and appreciation to the world and to you.

Insight into the mind, share it! I'm talking to myself.

This feeling is depressing. You can't empathize with it unless you experience it.

In junior high, I had a similar memory to the original poster. It's been over 20 years, but seeing this topic has brought it back to life.

I'd also like to talk about my feelings at the time and give the original poster advice. I hope it's useful.

In junior high, I had a classmate who was bad at everything and bullied others. He was short and I was too, but he bullied people in many ways.

I thought about telling the teacher about the seat change, but I felt I had to learn to solve this problem on my own. I looked forward to weekends and holidays because they spared me from this painful and embarrassing situation. I felt especially comfortable when I could keep that person away from me.

When I think about being close to this person again, I feel oppressed. You can't empathize with it unless you've experienced it.

Maybe this doesn't happen to many people because some people don't mind it.

You can't change things you can't adapt to.

The world won't change just because you can't adapt to people or situations, or because you choose to avoid them.

You can't face someone if you don't change yourself. This is the block in your heart.

You can only change the situation when you realize this and face it courageously. I asked myself why this person I hated did this to me and others.

Why can others face him calmly while I cannot? Is this my problem?

Or is it his fault? I realized I can't change him, so I can learn to change myself. If others can ignore his behavior and get along with him, so can I. Why treat him like an enemy?

This is not helpful. I have to change myself, get to know myself again, understand myself, and adapt to this environment.

If you want to change your fear, you have to face it.

The more you think about it, the more scared you get. This kind of thinking is a self-imposed limitation.

Some things in life and study are beyond our abilities. We can't do everything. But there are also things we can do if we believe we can. It's not about ability, but mindset.

You are standing in front of a glass bridge. Many people can walk across it, but you tell yourself you are afraid and you don't try.

When someone leads you across, you realize it's not as scary as you thought. You make it across, right?

When you're on the other side of the bridge, you'll realize things aren't as bad as you thought. You're just setting limits for yourself.

You've had this kind of experience before, so you're afraid you'll encounter something like this again. But the more you think like this, the more limiting your thinking will become. It wasn't that bad, but you've set limits for yourself, so you're afraid of this kind of dormitory relationship. Things that could have been handled easily will become more complicated, and you'll return to that situation you don't want to see.

Who is to blame? Can you say the people you meet are all outcasts?

Are those people who don't know how to get along with others? So, there are many times when things haven't even started yet. Just let things take their natural course. This is the best situation. Don't set limits for yourself in advance because of something that happened before.

Words to end with:

You're not different from other people.

What others can do

Get along with people.

You can handle it.

You can do it.

It's impossible.

You always think in your heart.

You can't!