What should I do if I am always overwhelmed by negative emotions and I am sensitive at heart?

Hello!

Give yourself a pat on the back and try to stay calm.

You have a point, but if the teacher didn't call you out by name during the last few days' evening study sessions, how would the questioner feel and think? How would the questioner view the teacher's "unusual naming"? Is the teacher too sensitive?

Should we let our emotions get the better of us because so many people are absent? Or should the student who was named really not forget to turn off the microphone and therefore take full responsibility?

*Take responsibility for your own emotions.

So, if the questioner's feelings are correct, does that mean the teacher's words and actions must be accusatory or malicious? Sometimes we're so sensitive that we over-identify with others and can't look at things objectively. In these moments, our feelings and the truth lose their sense of boundaries.

Teachers can be gentle and caring, but they can also be emotional and cold sometimes. Students can also be quiet and obedient, but they can also be willful and spoiled sometimes. Our emotions will vary from time to time and place to place, showing conflicting emotions. But overall, our emotions are stable, and we will maintain a basic sense of reason and morality in dealing with people and things.

So, we won't hurt or slander anyone on purpose. If we misunderstand each other, and the other person knows we did, they'll take responsibility for what they said and do and apologize.

So, we can forgive the teacher's "accusation" for now because, most of the time, she's fine, except when she needs to turn off the microphone when she's notified or informed. She struggles to control her emotions, so she transfers negative emotions to others. This is something she needs to reflect on and improve. For highly sensitive people like me, we need to reduce the part of emotional exhaustion caused by a sensitive emotional load, take responsibility for our words and deeds, but not be too harsh on ourselves, and learn to view things objectively, so that our emotions won't be easily mobilized.

*Boost our self-assurance and reject anxiety.

If you're emotionally sensitive, it can lead to anxiety because you can't control how others act or what they say. To cope, you might pay too much attention to what others think, worry about their opinions, try to please them, and be afraid of making mistakes. This can make it hard to believe in yourself and lead to negative relationships, which can leave you feeling exhausted.

Maybe it's because of my original family that I always see myself in a negative way and don't have much self-confidence. For instance, if parents are too demanding and harsh with their kids, the kids may have a very low self-esteem and not recognize themselves. But all relationships are mutual, and other people's opinions can't fully define us. If we care too much about what others think, we might lose the ability to see our own strengths and show our advantages, become even more unconfident, and view the world negatively.

If we let the unintentional actions or unconscious behaviors of others affect our emotions all the time, we'll quickly run out of mental resources and lose the motivation to be positive. What we really need to understand is not the needs of others, but our own inner needs. We should not add extra pressure to ourselves, learn to look at ourselves in a positive way, and at the same time have a clear sense of boundaries with others. We should stay away from environments that make us feel negative emotions, and not take excessive responsibility for the words and deeds of others. The more balanced our emotions are, the stronger we will be.

The questioner is still in school, but has already realized the influence of emotions. This is a great improvement. Only by understanding one's own emotions can one better control them and not become a slave to them, in order to seek better development. Although the teacher's unintentional emotions have affected and infected you, it's okay. Don't be afraid of other people's negative emotions. Be brave and be yourself. Being sensitive occasionally doesn't mean failure.

Best of luck, and keep up the great work!

First and foremost, it is imperative to acknowledge that sensitivity is not a fault. The notion that there is a dichotomy between "good" and "bad" personalities is a fallacy; rather, it is the perception of oneself that shapes one's character.

An alternative perspective is to view this as an opportunity to embrace your sensitivity while also recognizing your keen awareness and ability to reflect on yourself.

The same situation may be perceived differently, resulting in varying emotional responses.

The questioner indicated that their self-consciousness and inferiority originated from their family of origin. The subsequent account provided a detailed account of the situation. It is evident that the questioner should be aware that the issue is not entirely their responsibility. However, they tend to attribute all the problems to themselves, as if a significant burden were bearing down on them.

Due to your own negligence, you forgot to turn off the microphone during class, resulting in criticism from the teacher when calling the roll. This made you feel uncomfortable. Additionally, you mentioned that the teacher was resentful because some other students had missed class. Consequently, your negligence became the teacher's scapegoat.

The instructor's conduct was perceived as biased, with the incident being interpreted as a means of expressing her personal grievances. Given your keen perceptual abilities, the incident has become a persistent and evolving aspect of your internal experience.

Previously, other students had also neglected to turn off the microphone, yet they were not called upon to do so. However, in this instance, you were. As a result of this discrepancy, you are unable to maintain equilibrium. It is my hope that I can provide you with the strength you need in this situation.

What is the appropriate response to such circumstances?

1. Enhance your personal growth and augment your self-assurance. It is imperative that you cultivate greater self-confidence. The individual in question is currently experiencing a deficit in self-esteem and is lacking in confidence.

The optimal method for enhancing self-confidence is to commence with endeavors in which one possesses proficiency or a keen interest.

2. It is essential to practise one's speaking skills. A strong foundation is crucial, and therefore breathing is of great importance.

It is imperative to practise speaking loudly, given that the questioner is not confident and typically speaks in a very quiet manner. Initially, it is necessary to raise the volume of one's voice and strengthen the foundation through vocalisation. This can be achieved by practising in the presence of friends with whom one has a positive relationship, deliberately raising one's voice to ensure that it is both audible and clear.

3. It is beneficial to continue learning new things. Doing so will provide a greater number of topics to discuss with others, and the more individuals one meets and becomes acquainted with, the broader one's perspective will become.

4. Self-motivation method: Engage in daily mirrored practice of smiling and verbal affirmation of one's abilities.

Persistence over the course of a month will yield observable results.

It is imperative that you believe in your abilities.

I extend my utmost regard and affection to the world and to you.

Hello!

I think you're overreacting emotionally, which means you're taking things too seriously.

You forgot to turn off the microphone, the teacher called your name, and you thought, "I guess I'm not the teacher's favorite either."

As you mentioned, you've been sensitive and insecure since childhood. When your teacher calls on you, your emotions immediately lead you to a state of self-doubt. This is a pattern you've developed.

There's an ABC theory, where A is the event, B is your belief, and C is the consequence.

In your situation, the teacher's criticism was the event that happened, and the result was that you couldn't eat or sleep well and wanted to cry.

You might think that A directly led to C, but it actually didn't. A usually leads to B in your mind, and then B leads to C.

Specifically, in your case, your thought process is that you're not good enough and that others won't like you.

If you think about it, you may find that not only teacher criticism can lead to this situation, but also criticism from your parents or an accusation from a classmate can lead to this situation, right?

Take a deep breath and think about how much of an impact the teacher calling on you can really have. Does being called on mean you're too bad?

What if the teacher doesn't like you?

Forgetting to turn off the microphone shows that you're careless and that you're studying late at night while many other students are skipping class. It shows that you're serious about your studies.

It's a bit much to think that you're a terrible person just because you forgot to turn off the microphone.

Even if the teacher doesn't like you a little because of this one thing, it's not the end of the world. What if the teacher doesn't like you?

What's the big deal? Can't you live with that?

So, this belief can be tweaked to say, "Yes, I'm a bit careless sometimes, but I'm serious about my studies and I'm not worthless. The teacher may criticize me for being careless and dislike me, but it doesn't have a big impact on me. I'll keep on living as usual and the world will keep on turning."

Hello, questioner.

Low self-esteem and sensitivity are a lack of self-identity. When we were young, we lacked positive encouragement from the outside world due to circumstances in our family of origin. We were also frustrated in our attempts to gain affirmation from the outside world for reasons of our own. A teacher's rebuke triggered your vulnerable and sensitive inner feelings, and you were haunted by it.

The teacher called the roll because we didn't "turn off the microphone." The tone was bad because there were so many people absent, and the teacher's emotions were also affected. The teacher said, "I'm not going to be mean to you today, and I'm not going to rush you!" The students in our class are a whole, and everyone repeatedly misses class. The students in class are also distracted. They feel that no matter how anxious they are, there is no improvement. They said these angry words because they feel there is no improvement. Please students understand!

You are sad because you have projected yourself into a situation of being abandoned and rejected. This is just a kind of pessimistic emotion! Think about it. We have also been affirmed and encouraged many times. However, because we were carrying too much self-burden at the time, we were intent on quickly achieving major accomplishments. As a result, we usually ignored the things that had a positive impact on us. We ignored and underestimated the positive emotional responses of others. We valued and magnified the things that could bring negative effects. This makes it difficult to cheer up!

You must accept negative emotions as a first step. Allow yourself to "give birth to children and become human," understand your emotions and thoughts, and embrace a period of negative behavior. Then, focus on behaviors that benefit you and receive positive feedback. Bad emotions from the past will fade away, and you will feel better.

You've got this!

Hello, dear child. I am Coach Flying, your Heart Detective.

You feel hurt because you made a mistake and were publicly called out by the teacher, which makes you feel humiliated and ashamed. You feel aggrieved because other students made the same mistake but were not called out, and at the same time, you blame yourself. You think, "I am so bad. The teacher doesn't like me anymore."

You feel rejected, so you can't let go. You doubt yourself and your worth. You don't accept yourself. You're full of fear. Let's share and explore together.

1. Use this incident to identify the emotional needs you want to fulfill.

As you said, the teacher was also very angry that day. She was in the middle of her own emotions, dealing with too many people missing classes. She was full of anger and had nowhere to vent it. You forgot to turn off the microphone, which was like "running into the gun barrel."

Put yourself in the teacher's shoes. You understand the teacher's feelings, and as teachers, they have responsibilities, such as completing teaching tasks within a set time frame and semester assessments.

Everyone has been criticized by a teacher before. This incident made you aware of what emotional needs you want to fulfill.

The teacher calls on you by name, which humiliates you in public, damages your self-esteem, and makes you feel embarrassed.

Second, being called on by the teacher makes you feel that the teacher is disappointed in you and no longer likes you.

These are your needs for affirmation, praise, and recognition from others. You interpreted being called on as a sign that you were unpopular, that the teacher was disappointed in you, and that your classmates didn't like you. This led to a range of negative emotions, including worry, fear, inferiority, self-blame, and sadness.

It's not about A. It's about how you interpret being "named." Change the way you interpret it, and you'll change the way you experience it emotionally.

For example, "My teacher took it out on me, just letting off steam."

2. You should stop caring so much about negative comments from others and start believing in yourself.

My dear child, look at the other students. Some of them have made more and more serious mistakes than you have. The teachers have criticized them even more harshly and dealt with them more severely. But they can still be themselves, happy and carefree, just as usual.

You need to stop worrying about this.

A person's sensitivity and fearfulness are related to childhood experiences, such as frequent neglect of emotional needs, habitual criticism, blame, and denial by parents. These experiences gradually made you afraid to express yourself, in fear of being ignored and hurting even more. However, you also longed for care and attention.

Let me be clear: when you were young, you experienced something that made you develop a "self-protection mechanism." You achieve the goal of being liked by avoiding and suppressing your emotions, and even by pleasing others.

You want to be accepted, but first you have to accept yourself. Do you like yourself?

You must believe in yourself. You are the master of your own life, and you decide your own value.

Regain your self-confidence. Self-confidence is not about your family, your grades, or your appearance. It's about you. You are valuable just by being you.

"I am a life. I need love. I deserve love." Repeat this a few times a day to help you feel more valued.

I am confident that the above is helpful to you, and I love you.

If you want to continue communicating, click "Find a coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom. I will communicate and grow with you one-on-one.