What should you do if you feel that your intelligence is not good enough despite studying hard?

After reading the text, I admire the questioner's persistence in learning without giving up or giving in. However, I also feel sorry for the questioner because of this "persistence." It seems that apart from learning, there is nothing else in the questioner's eyes or in reality that can enter the questioner's "favorites."

It is possible that the questioner has experienced that learning, and the pursuit of knowledge, is the only way to achieve a sense of ease, to instil a sense of ease in those around them, and to provide reassurance to those around them. Perhaps the most important thing that can be done is to provide reassurance to those around us.

Thus, if a task can be completed in an hour, it will require two hours or more to complete. This will prevent individuals from questioning how to utilize the additional time and will also prevent them from engaging in activities that may cause concern or criticism from those around them.

Ultimately, the only thing that will remain in your mind and in your life is the act of learning, and that is all you will be able to do.

An individual who dedicates their entire academic career to rigorous study yet fails to excel in their schoolwork, despite spending every night until midnight in study, may eventually gain admission to an ordinary class at the junior high school level. However, upon entering high school, they may still be unable to secure a position in a more advanced course, ultimately ending up in an experimental class. This can lead to a significant decline in their mental health, resulting in a lack of motivation to study effectively and ultimately, a mere passing grade on the university entrance exam.

It is possible that you, being intelligent, have discovered that after entering the elite school, it brought you and those around you not ease and joy, but rather increased pressure, worry, and unease. Consequently, you may have chosen to return to the "ordinary position," with the intention of fostering greater ease within yourself and those around you.

It is commonly understood that an individual's inclination towards reading is not solely determined by their IQ. Individuals with high IQs do not inherently exhibit a preference for reading.

Furthermore, there is no empirical evidence to suggest that a specific IQ is necessary for reading proficiency. Therefore, it is recommended that the questioner refrain from questioning their own IQ.

Naturally, if utilizing the rationale of "not high IQ" to elucidate one's perspective provides a sense of ease, it is at the individual's discretion to employ this rationale.

"I am unable to cease my actions, as I require a means of alleviating my anxiety." It would be beneficial to gain an understanding of the nature of your anxiety and its underlying causes.

Given that one is no longer a child, one is able to make decisions regarding one's actions. For example, one may choose to allocate five minutes each day to gaze out of a window.

It is only when an individual is in control of their life that they will be able to live it effectively.

I am sincerely convinced that my response has been helpful, and I hope that it has been of some assistance to you. Best wishes!

Hello,

From your description, I can see that you have been working very hard. In the process of working hard, you may want to take it to the next level, so you have self-doubt and anxiety in the process, and you are a little lost. This is normal.

You said the postgraduate entrance exam starts tomorrow. Is that why you're feeling anxious? It's clear that these negative emotions are making you think about your previous studies. Is that right?

I want you to become aware of this feeling. When has it appeared besides this time when you took the exam? What happened at that time?

When does this feeling not appear? What is the state of mind when this feeling does not appear?

You must also be aware of whether this feeling occurs often, occasionally, or indirectly.

From your description, I can see your hard work and dedication. Of course, you may be feeling some self-doubt because you can't see your own efforts and hard work. This is a normal phenomenon. When we encounter a judgment in life and are constantly stuck in that place, our hearts will become powerless. But you can break free from this trap by becoming aware of it and looking for solutions. As long as you don't give up, everything will get better and better.

I have suggestions that will help you.

First, adjust your mindset.

You're preparing for an exam and you want it to be over soon, but you also want to prepare well for the answers. During this preparation process, you're experiencing some anxious emotions in your heart. The more you experience these emotions, the more you fail to adjust your mentality. My teacher once said, "When doing something, don't look at the result, but enjoy the process." This is a very high realm, and I think very few people can achieve it, but we can still develop towards this goal.

A good attitude will calm you down and help you focus on your goals. I know that taking the postgraduate entrance exam is a very important project, and most people get nervous about exams, but you can close your eyes, take a deep breath, and let go of this uncomfortable feeling. This will help you.

Use positive mental suggestions to adjust.

In life, we will encounter negative emotions. When we detect them, we can and should use positive psychological suggestions to adjust these negative emotions. For example, before going to bed every night, practice truth meditation, and give yourself affirmation when you wake up. You can also tell yourself, "I've done a good job. I just need to review well. Don't think so much. I will be able to focus on my studies," and so on. Use positive language.

Next, you must learn to release negative emotions.

When you are confused and have negative emotions, you must get rid of these negative emotions. You can do this through exercise, talking to someone, or journaling.

Exercise is the best way to let off steam. During exercise, our brains secrete dopamine, which gives us a sense of pleasure. It is the best way to release negative emotions and the best way to treat anxiety and depression.

Believe in yourself.

There are no perfectly perfect people in life. Of course, there are smart people, but most people are ordinary. If we ordinary people want to succeed and achieve certain results, we must believe in ourselves. We must believe in the power of belief, believe that we can do it, and believe that practice makes perfect. Only when we believe in ourselves will we have the motivation inside, and we will not be constantly plagued by negative emotions. In that case, it will be easier and more confident for us.

Seek help from external resources.

If you're struggling with negative emotions, you have the power to overcome them. If you need help, there are professionals who can assist you, such as counselors, paint analysts, or hypnotists. They can help you understand the roots of your subconscious mind, why you feel the way you do, and why you doubt yourself. They'll also create a safe, supportive, and trusting environment for you to grow stronger.

You need to calm down about this part of the exam. It's coming up soon, so you need to face it calmly. As I said, you can calm your mind through exercise. You'll learn more effectively and do better on the exam if you calm down. Don't think too much, just do it. You may have had some bad experiences, but we're not thinking about them. We're focusing on our studies, and our results will improve. We'll become more confident, stronger, and better.

Hello! I just wanted to give you a big hug and tell you I'm here for you.

After reading your question and your answer, I just wanted to give you a big hug and tell you that you're doing a great job trying to change your situation and your life. I don't know if you've seen a counselor yet, but I think it would be really helpful for you to do so.

I'm asking here because open questions and no follow-up often mean that even a great counselor may not be able to give you very helpful support, and can only point you in a few possible directions. From your answers and essays, it seems like you're still seeing a counselor, and I don't know if you've discussed your sense of powerlessness with him.

From what you've told me, it seems like you've been trying really hard to fight depression. You tried family therapy, but your father wasn't very cooperative, and you were afraid of your mother divorcing him when you went to the counseling room, so you just stopped going, saying you were tired.

You mentioned that your relationship with your mother has improved. I'm not sure when the family therapy took place.

You've also seen other psychiatrists and changed counselors.

In the meantime, you've been working hard to get into university and are now taking postgraduate exams. Oh, the postgraduate exams in 2023 are just 10 days away.

I'm not sure what major you're applying for, but is it related to psychology?

You work hard, and you seem very smart to others, so there's no problem with your IQ. You've not only gone to college, you may also go to graduate school.

You've achieved all this despite being depressed for seven years. I don't know how you did it. How did you manage to be depressed and bipolar while taking the postgraduate entrance exam and TOEFL?

But you probably have your own methods that you've developed on your own.

Frankly, I'm at a loss as to how to help you. You're exercising and watching your diet, you enjoy writing, and the counselor has also discussed mindfulness with you.

As they say, "Practice makes perfect." You've been dealing with depression for seven years, so you're pretty familiar with it. You've been struggling with depression while trying to pursue your studies. But depression is really like the black dog that Winston Churchill talked about, always there.

Other famous people, such as Franz Kafka, Isaac Newton, and Victor Hugo, also suffered from depression. I once read about someone who suffered from depression for 40 years and then wrote a book about treating depression.

As Winston Churchill said, I have spent my whole life fighting "black dogs," but that hasn't stopped me from moving forward.

You're also battling your "black dog" and trying to move forward. I'm not sure if you've read the book, but it's called "Churchill's Black Dog." You can read it when you have time.

To be honest, I've gone on and on about all this nonsense because I can see that you've already made a lot of efforts, and most of these efforts have failed. It's like this: I have 10 cards in my hand, and I give you one. You say, "This doesn't work, I've tried it."

I'll give you one more card. You say, "This one doesn't work either. I've already tried it." Okay, I'm out of cards. These are all proper methods, and you've tried them all.

The only other methods I have left are a bit unconventional, but I'll share them with you anyway, just for your amusement.

First, I suggest you externalize your depression. You can buy a stuffed animal or something and treat it as if it were your depression. Sometimes the two of you are so closely connected that you can't push it away.

Sometimes you have to push it away, ignore it no matter how it behaves, or negotiate with it. Today I have to step away from you, but tomorrow I can promise to spend more time with you.

This is the externalization technique in narrative therapy, which helps you distinguish between problems and people. People are people, problems are problems. The problem is the problem, not the person.

Imagine the problem is another person standing next to you. It might stick with you all the time, but it will let go from time to time.

Or you can even make it stick with you when you need it.

For instance, I've identified myself as "socially anxious" and I've been open with others about my social anxiety.

This way, when I need a shield, I can pull out my social anxiety label. I don't really like talking, either. I'd rather stay home than go out, and crowds are a big no-no for me.

The benefit of labels is that when you adopt them, others will change the way they interact with you, and you can temporarily change your own perception of yourself.

For instance, the "you" without depression needs to be motivated. And the "you" with depression is allowed to relax.

It might be that you need depression all the time. But you can try to spend some time apart from it every day, whether it's 10 minutes or half an hour.

For instance, if you have an exam coming up, you might want to talk to your depression and give it a couple of days to itself. Then you can spend time with it after the exam.

The second way is to accept your situation and view depression as an NPC in your life.

Imagine you're playing a game, and depression is an NPC on the game map. The NPC is set by the system and can't be changed or driven away.

It's there to stay, but it can be pretty intense or pretty mild.

And you live your life in different contexts. Even if you change contexts, the same is true of the non-player characters. Of course, the non-player characters in different contexts are different, but they are definitely there.

If you accept that depression is here to stay, you can learn from it.

I think that's what an NPC does.

I suggest reading the book Game Changing Life by this author. There's also a book by this author called Game Changing the World, which is somewhat related. However, I prefer to approach life problems in a more constructive manner.

It might help to think of your depression as a partner, not an enemy, and to try to approach it in a playful way.

I also want to wish you the best of luck on the postgraduate entrance exam.

I'm often both Buddhist and depressed, but I also have moments of motivation and positivity. I'm a psychological counselor, and I want to say that I love the world.

Hello! I totally get where you're coming from from reading your description.

I'd like to have a chat with you about your study method, which seems to be lacking a little. From the time you stayed up late in junior high school until past one o'clock in the morning, you seemed to think that only by working harder than others could you get good grades.

It's important to remember that our bodies and minds can only handle so much. Long-term overload can really take a toll on us, and it's easy to fall into a pattern of working hard but not seeing the results we want.

I'll give you an example. It's like you've been competing with others using 60-70% of your IQ. That's not so great, is it? But you're in an ordinary class, which is great because it means you have the chance to go to a top university. And at least in an ordinary class, your confidence is still there.

Secondly, I think it's important to remember that the Qingbei class is a different environment. It's not about who works harder or who has a higher IQ.

Those who can come out of the top class are children who know how to learn efficiently. In other words, only those who have a learning method and strategy that suits them will come out on top. Being able to enter the top class of a prestigious university is a huge accomplishment! For you, who have always studied, this should be something to be proud of.

Finally, I suggest you think seriously about your learning style. It's so important to start by exercising and going to bed on time to reduce your anxiety. And remember, don't let yourself meet challenges at 70% or 80% of your capacity. If you want to achieve your goals, seek advice from your seniors and mentors. They are more experienced and they're there to help!

One of my psychology teachers once told me something I really liked. He said that a postgraduate exam doesn't require a high IQ; a medium IQ is enough.

I wish you the best of luck!

Hello, dear questioner!

I can totally relate to your question! You feel like you've studied really hard but haven't achieved the results you wanted. It's natural to feel like your IQ is not high enough or that you're not capable. I've been there too!

I totally get where you're coming from. I used to feel the same way when I was studying. I tried really hard, but just couldn't succeed. I've also summed up this experience and wondered why others' hard work can lead to success, but not mine. I think there may be the following reasons:

I really feel for you. I think that:

[1] It might just seem like hard work on the surface, but it's not!

Sometimes we think that success depends on hard work, and if we work a little harder, a comeback is possible. But in fact, we may just seem to be working very hard on the surface, without really studying deeply or integrating learning into our lives in a happy and enjoyable way.

[2] It's not that you're not smart, but you might not have discovered the best ways to learn.

If you don't have a good learning method and you're a fast learner, you might find that you're not getting the most out of your efforts. It's okay! We haven't all figured out the best ways to learn yet, and that's okay too.

Just a little bit of personal advice:

[1] You can definitely improve your efficiency and ability!

It's also important to make sure we're learning in the best way for us. This means being able to think about what we're doing and why. It's OK to admit when we're struggling and focus on the things we need to work on. We can also think about what we're good at and what we'd like to improve. Then we can decide which things we should focus on first.

[2] Know how to soak up and learn effectively!

Once you've chosen what you want to study, it's important to know how to absorb and understand it effectively. You can also find ways to apply what you've learned to your life! If you don't know how to read, understand, and absorb it effectively, no matter how much you study, it won't be as helpful as it could be.

[3] It's so important to understand the cause and effect relationship and see the essence of things.

It's true that people have different levels of intelligence. But the good news is that we can all improve our grades by putting in the effort to learn and think more, and by reading more. As long as we don't just study by rote, we can understand these things better, see how they affect our learning, and find the best way for us to learn.

[4] You can also look at the problem from a different perspective and find the right way, my friend.

Maybe you think you work hard, but it's not just because you're trying your best. It's because of your amazing IQ! And it's possible you're working harder and have a higher IQ than others. You might think your IQ isn't as high as you'd like, and you may have met someone who is better than you. But you can change your perspective and find the right way to go. It is also possible to go down this road well!

I really hope these ideas are helpful for you!