What's going on with a 40-year-old single mother who has no energy and just wastes the whole weekend?

Hello, question asker. I see you're confused. I'm here to help!

You are a 40-year-old single mother who works and takes care of the children from Monday to Friday.

You might work too hard during the week.

When you don't want to work on weekends, you want to relax.

If you don't want to do the housework on weekends, don't.

You get home late from work and often do housework until 1 a.m. I feel for you.

You don't have to do the housework every day after work.

You'll keep working late and have to get up early.

Your body wants to rest on the weekends, which leads to a vicious cycle.

Can you do the kitchen, floor, and tables separately?

Monday, Wednesday, and Friday are for scrubbing the kitchen. Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday are for mopping the floor. Only on Sunday are the tables wiped.

Should you split your chores over several days?

I hope you can solve your problem soon.

Now I just think of the above.

I hope my answer helps. I'm the answerer, and I study hard every day.

Best wishes, Yixinli!

!

Your description gives me a fascinating insight into your fascinating history and experience of the meaning and value of life. After all, the cleanliness of hygiene shows a healthy doubt in your sense of self-identity. You use compulsive behavior to deal with your anger and anxiety, which is a great way of keeping yourself in check. There are also stories in your story, subconscious stories, which are a wonderful way of understanding yourself better. The childhood growth experience was overly controlled and strictly demanded by parents or caregivers, which is a great way of learning to stand up for yourself. You can only rely on yourself to meet their needs in order to see the value of your existence, and to get the response that your peers can easily get, which is a great way of learning to be confident in yourself. You rely on external evaluation to generate your own identity, which is a great way of understanding yourself better. You over-control your belief that you are not good enough to live, but forget the need to feel your body, which is a great way of learning to relax. Your mind wants to be expected to see and feel, and cannot get away from the sense of control from your parents or caregivers' indifference and strict demands, which is a great way of learning to stand up for yourself. This forms an identity with their sense of control over their demands, which is a great way of understanding yourself better!

Similarly, you will use cleanliness to deal with the confusion and pain of your own existence. Such thoughts, however, are met with the protest of physical exhaustion. Your body, like your sense of control, has the opposite needs. Why not rest? You are unable to accept your own imperfection in your conflict, and the feeling of loving yourself. The frustration you feel from relying on external approval has made you lose your affirmation of your own core values. You can hardly accept your own sense of existence in your imperfection. But you can accept yourself! Acceptance requires normal acceptance of yourself, but also loving yourself. People who don't love themselves can only become tools for other people, circumstances, and emotions. Independence requires seeing yourself and accepting yourself. If your sense of control is based on the shame of a past growth experience, then your sense of control is a betrayal of your willpower. You can only rely on this feeling and physical exhaustion to be friends. But you can also choose to rely on your own strength and resilience!

Every growth is accompanied by painful feelings, but in the end, you will find that you cannot live your life with the same old thoughts. That is the story you see in your own story. You explore and get to know more about yourself by accepting this story. Maybe you can try to find a counselor on the platform to accompany you in searching for the story of your inner feelings. This is the gift that summons the happiness of the future!

Hello! I'm Li Di☀, and I'm thrilled to connect with you.

The weekend is a time to rest and relax, and it's great that your mother is there to help you! You'll have hot meals to eat, and you'll have a clean environment to live in. Your mother and you have different ideas about environmental hygiene, but you can work together to find a solution that works for both of you. Every day, she gets tired from cleaning, and when she can't keep it up, it makes you crazy. But you can help her by taking over some of the housework on the weekends, and you can give her a hug to show her how much you appreciate her hard work! You'll feel more in control and happier when you take action. I have some thoughts to share with you, and I'm excited to discuss them with you!

☞First, I want my home to be clean, otherwise I will be very irritated. A clean environment is very important to me. So when did it start, or what made me have such high expectations for a clean environment that I would ignore my tired body and keep cleaning until 1 a.m.? What needs are expressed behind cleanliness?

☞ Second, I'm excited to find a great opportunity to chat with my mom about why a clean environment is so important to me. I'm also looking forward to learning more about what might be preventing her from keeping things spick and span.

Absolutely! Mothers can get tired too!

☞ Third, I want to rest on the weekend, but there are so many household chores waiting for me. Can I experience relaxation or healing while doing the housework? Am I complaining to my mother when I clean?

I would absolutely love it if my mother could help me out with the cleaning too! It's great that I want to have my own space and be independent at the weekends, but I think my mum might need a little more time to understand my thoughts. Have I really made myself clear to her?

The above discussion is just some alternative thinking, and it's a great way to explore your thoughts and feelings. If there's anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, you can choose to ignore it. This is just some hypothesis, and it's a fascinating way to understand yourself better.

Let's dive in and explore the fascinating underlying psychological mechanisms behind your feelings and needs together! This is a great way to gain a deeper understanding of yourself and accept yourself for who you are.

The feelings and behavior patterns you describe actually reflect some deep-seated needs and conflicts. Your pursuit of cleanliness and orderliness may stem from a desire for a sense of security and control, which is a great thing!

In a world full of variables, keeping your home environment tidy is a great way to create a sense of stability and order! This need for control is really beneficial in many situations because it provides a wonderful sense of security.

However, when this need becomes too strict, to the point where it affects your personal time and mental health, it becomes a burden.

Your feelings of powerlessness and decadence may be due to the fact that you feel trapped in a dilemma: on the one hand, you long for personal space and freedom; on the other, you shoulder the responsibilities and expectations of the family. This conflict may lead to a feeling of both relief and anxiety at the weekend – relief at being able to escape the daily stress for a while, but also anxiety at not being able to fulfill your inner expectations. But don't worry! You can overcome this challenge.

Your gratitude towards your mother and your resentment towards certain of her actions also reflect an inner struggle. You understand that she is doing it out of love and concern, but at the same time you want your own space and lifestyle.

This emotional tug-of-war creates internal conflict, making it difficult for you to express your true feelings directly, for fear of hurting her. But you can overcome this challenge!

In this case, we have some great approaches to help you change your state!

It's time for some self-reflection! Take a moment to think about what your real needs are in terms of cleanliness and order, and how they affect your mood and behavior.

Reassess your expectations and ask yourself whether it is possible to adjust your standards of cleanliness to suit the situation. You'll be happy you did! You'll see that it is not necessary to achieve a level of "spotless" every day, but a certain degree of mess is acceptable.

Set realistic goals! Try dividing household chores into small chunks and spreading them out over different days. Instead of tackling everything at once at the weekend, focus on one thing at a time. For example, you could decide to focus on cleaning the kitchen one day and the bedroom the next.

It's time to communicate and set boundaries! Talk openly with your mother about how you feel while respecting her wishes. Together, you can explore ways to meet your need for cleanliness without making her feel excluded.

Find support: You've got this! Consider the possibility of hiring a part-time cleaner or involving your daughter in simple household chores, which can reduce your burden.

Embrace your imperfections! It's okay to relax your demands on yourself sometimes. Remember, it's more important to rest and relax than to complete household chores.

It's time to let it all out! Find safe ways to express your feelings, such as keeping a diary, drawing pictures, or talking to a trusted friend.

Communication skills: It's time to level up your communication game! Try expressing your feelings and needs using "I" statements (e.g., "I feel...", "I hope..."). Avoid accusations or criticism, as this will be more readily accepted by the other person.

Self-empathy: Celebrate your efforts and achievements, and be kind to yourself, even when facing difficulties. You've got this!

Professional help: If you find it difficult to solve these problems independently, don't worry! Seeking the help of a psychologist is also an option. They can help you gain a deeper understanding of your emotions and learn effective coping strategies.

Changing habits takes time and patience, so don't be too hard on yourself. Everyone has times when they are lazy and procrastinate, but that's totally normal! The key is to find a pace that suits you and learn to be kind to yourself.

I really hope my answer is helpful! I love you all so much! *^O^*

Hi, I'm Strawberry.

Most kids, whether they've grown up, gotten married, and had kids or not, will always be kids in their parents' hearts. They'll treat us and love us in every way they think is good for us, but they'll ignore the fact that if the way they love us isn't what we want, it won't bring us warmth but trouble.

There's a kind of inner resistance behind the decadence.

The questioner is a single mother. She lives close to her child's school, so she usually lives with her child during the week and with her child's father on weekends. After working for five days, the weekend is a time to rest and relax, so it's what the questioner looks forward to most.

During the week, the question asker has plans for the weekend, but when the weekend actually arrives, she feels like she should be getting up and getting things done. However, her body doesn't seem to agree. She just lies in bed playing with her phone and watching videos, and this process can last from morning until night.

When she realized she'd wasted the whole day, she felt anxious and restless again. She hadn't been able to complete her weekend plans as expected, and the piles of housework seemed to remind her that she shouldn't be so decadent.

The root of these emotions stems from differing living habits.

The questioner is a clean person who likes to keep the house clean and tidy, while the questioner's mother is more laid-back about cleanliness and tidiness, as long as the house looks presentable.

The questioner lives alone with her child, and her mother feels sorry for her daughter's hard work, so she goes to the questioner's house every day to cook lunch and dinner. The questioner can eat hot meals on time every day and feels the love and warmth given by her mother.

The thing that bothers the questioner is that her mother isn't particular about cleanliness. After cooking every meal, the kitchen is covered in grease. Looking at the greasy kitchen and tableware, as well as the footprints in the living room, the questioner feels very annoyed. In that moment, she really wants to throw her mother and daughter out.

How can I get out of this frustrating situation?

If parents' approach to giving doesn't align with our expectations, it can lead to feelings of discontent. It's important to acknowledge these emotions and address them in a constructive manner.

☀️Understand emotions: The questioner has to spend more time and energy on keeping the house clean because her mother is concerned about her. It's not that the questioner doesn't know how to be grateful, but only people who have experienced the same thing know how hard it is for clean-freaks to live in a house that is cleaner than they can handle.

One thing is that others don't seem to appreciate the effort we've put into cleaning up, and the other is the difference in acceptance levels. It's like there's a gap between what we do and what we think, and it's affecting how we feel.

The author feels annoyed because her mother doesn't appreciate her hard work. It seems like her mother doesn't think about the author or her efforts. The author feels like her mother is being self-indulgent. The mother didn't even ask the author if she was okay with it. The author is also upset about her mother's behavior. She's worried that her daughter will end up like her mother.

☀️ Positive communication: The questioner has tried to talk to her mother about this, but her mother still insists on cooking for her and her child, believing that this is more hygienic and good for their health. The questioner thinks that eating takeaways won't have much of an impact and that the child may be happier if they can order something they like to eat.

In this case, it's clear that the questioner and her mother have different views, and neither is wrong. Eating takeaways for a long time can have a negative impact on your health, and it can also affect whether your child becomes hardworking or lazy.

After her mother has cooked, the questioner can bring up the issue with her mother. She can say that she appreciates her mother's care, but she can't stand coming home to a greasy kitchen after work and not being able to clean it up. Cleaning it up makes her tired both physically and mentally. They can discuss together how to solve this problem, or whether they can hire a maid to clean up after her mother has cooked. No matter what the result is, on the one hand, the problem is solved, and on the other hand, the questioner can express her true thoughts when she is troubled.

☀️ Accepting emotions: The questioner feels guilty because she thinks she shouldn't feel irritable, given that her mother cares about her and is willing to take care of her and the children. She is also very dedicated, but it takes her more time and energy.

I can say that I really get where the questioner is coming from. It's not that we're trying to be sneaky or afraid of hard work, but that we don't like this kind of behavior that goes beyond our plans. That's also why we're feeling anxious and uneasy.

In our own arrangements, we can have more time and energy to do the things we like, but we have to put in more time and energy to deal with the results of other people's work. It's important to accept your emotions, don't try to suppress them, face the problems correctly, choose the right solution, and when the problem can be solved, the emotions will disappear along with it.

I hope my answer helps the person who asked the question. Best wishes,

Good day. I am a Heart Exploration coach, Gu Daoxi Fengshou Slender Donkey.

I empathize with the questioner's sentiments. It is plausible that the questioner's mindset is influenced by a perfectionist complex. When they are unable to maintain the desired standard, even after exerting considerable effort, they may be inclined to abandon their pursuit. This may not be a phenomenon exclusive to the questioner; it is a sentiment that many of us may share.

For example, I: My mother-in-law and I have different hygiene habits. I would have insisted on cleaning every week, but then we moved out and I went back to look after the children. I subsequently lost my motivation and simply stopped doing it. On occasion, I even considered not living with the children when they went to school.

Another challenge is taking the baby to work. After a tiring week, you may feel tired and want to rest. It is understandable that the questioner may not want to move. The weekend is for us to adjust and relax. Allowing yourself to lie down may help to reduce stress levels.

The biological clock on weekends is also different from the usual one. When we miss a certain point when we should get up, we may feel less inclined to get up and start the day. This may be more obvious in me. Usually I get up at 6:30, but on weekends if I sleep past 6:30, I will find it more challenging to get up, and the later I sleep, the less motivated I will be to move.

The willingness to get moving also depends on one's willpower. Typically, due to the constant readiness state, there is a greater likelihood of self-motivation to engage in physical activity, whether it's commuting to work, childcare, or other activities. However, it is not uncommon for the willpower that was initially exerted to diminish by the weekend. I often remind myself that I rely on a certain level of motivation to maintain my efforts.

The questioner may wish to consider whether there was a time when they were more inclined to clean up on the weekends, prior to becoming divorced or single. Alternatively, it may be that they felt less conflicted about not cleaning up on the weekends because they typically kept things relatively clean.

However, the stark contrast may cause the questioner to experience discomfort.

It is evident that the author's mother has a strong affection for the author. However, preparing meals is a challenging task. Additionally, takeaway food is not as clean or nutritious as home-cooked meals. The author may consider whether he or she is willing to accept his or her mother's hygiene habits in the long-term interest of the child's nutrition.

The questioner may wish to suggest alternative arrangements to their mother, such as dining out with the child on Fridays or another suitable alternative, in order to facilitate a mutually agreeable solution.

When you recognize the extent of your efforts, allow yourself to rest. The role of a mother is inherently challenging, and it is unreasonable to expect a single individual to simultaneously manage a household, engage in professional activities, and fulfill parenting responsibilities. By acknowledging your limitations and accepting a period of repose, you can foster a sense of ease.

One strategy for maintaining a sense of control is to designate a specific area of your home for tasks that require your undivided attention. For instance, you might choose to focus on washing dishes one day, cleaning the stove the next, and then cleaning the floor on the following day. Alternatively, you could involve your children in these tasks. By sharing the workload, you can reduce feelings of powerlessness and boost your sense of happiness.

It may be helpful to maintain a gratitude journal. By noting the positive aspects of one's life, including simple pleasures such as a healthy meal, the support of a partner in childcare, or the ability to rest, the questioner can cultivate a sense of happiness. As an example, I am grateful for the ability to enjoy a delicious meal when my younger brother visits.

It is recommended that you live in the present moment. This entails eating when you eat, playing when you play, and lying down when you lie down. It is important to allow yourself to enjoy these activities, as otherwise you may find yourself thinking about other tasks while eating, which could result in poor dietary choices and an unfavorable shift in your mood.

When you recognize your own fatigue, offer yourself a comforting embrace and reassure your inner self that you are simply an ordinary individual who also requires rest. When the questioner accepts their own feelings, they will feel more relaxed.

I would like to suggest the following reading material: "Accepting Imperfection," "A Change of Heart," and "Embracing the Inner Child."

Best regards,

Hello!

You're a 40-year-old single mom. Your daughter usually lives with you and goes to school during the week. Her dad picks her up after school on weekends. That leaves you with the weekend to yourself.

Five busy days of work and driving the kids to and from school are exhausting. At the weekend, the body is tired after five days and really wants to rest quietly.

Please don't stress yourself out. Just take a break for two days. If you schedule too much to do in one day and you can't even finish it, just thinking about it will make you feel tired.

I get the feeling you really enjoy being on your own at home. So, why not relax a little on this weekend day, empty your mind and let go?

Take the time to watch videos you don't usually have time for. Read articles you don't usually read.

You can also catch up on your favorite TV series on this day of the week. The main idea is to relax and enjoy yourself.

You and your mother don't see eye to eye when it comes to household hygiene. You need her help, but you also don't want her to mess up the hygiene. We always have this kind of conflict: we want our mothers to help, but we don't want them to mess up the hygiene.

Maybe the ideal level is just unattainable, and we need to adjust our thinking to accommodate this contradiction.

It's not realistic to think you can change your mother's habits after just a few conversations. Trying to change other people is often difficult.

The mother's actions are connected. The delicious, steaming meals and the footprints in the floor are all part of the same picture. You can either accept them all or you can't.

You get annoyed at the sight of the dirty floor, the greasy kitchen, and the dirty dishes. But that's not all.

Take a moment to think about your work. Is there anything bothering you? Are there other things on your mind?

Are you concerned about raising your children? It's possible that your concerns have accumulated, causing you to focus on the immediate tasks at hand, which can trigger emotional responses.

You're used to being at home alone during the summer holidays with your daughter. Maybe the arrival of your mother and daughter has made you feel a bit invaded, like your boundaries have been disturbed and your inner stability has been disturbed too.

You tactfully told your mother that she didn't have to come to your house every day to cook, but she wanted to share the responsibility of taking care of your daughter. You really didn't have time to take care of your daughter, so you had to accept that your mother wasn't very hygienic. This is also a good strategy, but accepting that your mother is not hygienic means forcing yourself.

Frustration and anger will follow you throughout the day as your superego and id fight. The superego says you should get the job done quickly.

The id says, "I'm too tired and I want to take a break." Your ego can't regulate the relationship between the id and the superego, so it just blames itself.

The self-blame is that the superego makes you think you can't complete the planned household chores.

If you feel like you're losing control, it's probably because your body and mind are both tired. Your body will often tell your mind to take a break because it's more efficient than the mind at recognizing when it needs to slow down.

So don't overthink it and don't push yourself to act. There's no need to be too hard on yourself.

You're exhausting yourself with all this self-blame. It's making you stay up late and more anxious and irritable.

We all have the habit of keeping clean and hygienic. It might be something we're born with, or it could be that we were praised for it a lot when we were kids, which helped us to stick with it.

Right now, you're really busy and tired. Sometimes you can't stop cleaning until 1 a.m., which isn't good for your health.

This behavior may not be the best fit for modern life, so it might need a little tweaking. Of course, changing one's thoughts and behaviors is tough.

If you need help, you can contact a counselor to explore your subconscious further and slowly begin to make adjustments.

I think it's important to remember that the world loves you, and you should love yourself too.

As a single mother, you're not only responsible for raising a child, but you're also trying to keep a tidy and harmonious home. That's a big achievement in itself.

1. Get to know yourself better.

You said you like spending weekends alone, but you also feel anxious because you feel like you're treating yourself too much. This is a pretty common feeling, because people often crave relaxation and recovery after a busy week.

But at the same time, your sense of responsibility and your pursuit of perfection are making you feel uneasy.

The first step to getting out of this powerless state is to understand and accept your needs. It's important to recognize that rest and relaxation are equally important and that they can help you regain the energy to face the challenges of the next week.

When you're tired, don't push yourself to do chores. Take a break to relax, listen to music, read a book, or just lie down.

2. Try to communicate more openly with your mother.

You said your mom's cooking for you and your daughter every day is convenient, but it also causes problems. These problems might be because of your different living habits and values.

One way to resolve this issue could be to communicate more deeply with your mother.

First, thank your mother for her help. Then, tell her about your concerns and feelings, including your expectations for a tidy home and how her actions are stressing you out.

When you're talking to your mother, try to stay calm and respectful. Avoid making accusations or complaining. At the same time, listen to what she has to say and try to understand why she's acting the way she is.

By communicating with each other, you can find a way to get along better. For instance, you could suggest that your mother keep the kitchen clean while cooking, or you could take on some of the housework yourself to help her out.

At the same time, you can also try to accept some of your mother's habits. After all, she's doing it for your own good.

3. Find a balance and be willing to compromise.

It's important to find a balance between keeping things tidy and respecting other people in a family. You can't expect everyone to live up to your standards, so you need to learn to find a balance between those two things.

First, you can create a family rulebook or a list of household chores to define everyone's responsibilities and obligations. For instance, you can be in charge of cleaning the living room and bedroom, while your mother handles cooking and washing dishes.

This way, you can be sure your home is tidy and not put your mother under too much stress.

Second, you can try to accept some imperfections. For example, even if your mother makes the kitchen a bit messy when cooking, it's also her way of showing her love and dedication to you.

You could spend some time tidying up the kitchen after she leaves, rather than letting the whole weekend get caught up in this negative mood.

4. Pay attention to how you're feeling and your mental health.

As a single mother, you have a lot on your plate. It's important to take care of your emotional and mental health.

You might want to try some relaxation and stress-reduction methods, such as meditation, yoga, or deep breathing. These can help relieve anxiety and stress, and make you more calm and relaxed.

You might also want to think about seeing a professional counselor. They can give you advice and support to help you deal with the challenges and difficulties you're facing in life.

5. Broaden your social network and interests.

You said you feel like a loner and don't have any friends. This is something we should talk about.

We're social creatures, and we need to connect and interact with others to stay physically and mentally healthy.

You might want to think about joining some social activities or interest groups to expand your social circle. These activities can help you make new friends, share each other's experiences and feelings, and reduce feelings of loneliness.

You might also want to think about developing some new interests to enrich your life. Having interests outside of your job can make you happier and more content, and they can also provide you with more spiritual sustenance and support.