When my husband is not at home, I stay with my parents. What should I do when there is a rift in our marriage?

I appreciate the invitation.

From the description of the host, I noted several key points.

"After I had my child, whenever my husband wasn't home, I stayed at my parents' house." I want to know what the current family situation is like for the original poster.

Before, she stayed at home regardless of whether her husband was home or not. What happened?

I'd like to know the reason for living with her parents and the attitude and opinion of her family.

"I feel that it is still very much related to my schizophrenia." Explain how you understand the schizophrenia mentioned here.

I'd like to know if this has been diagnosed by a hospital. If so, what is the current situation of the host?

I need to know if he is taking medication and if it is affecting his daily life or work.

The husband is often not at home. The host is unwilling to go home because of the distance.

I'd like to know when the hostess lives at her parents' house, how often her husband is home, and how far apart the two homes are.

The hostess doesn't want to go home and can't see her husband. He says he doesn't want to talk to me and there's a barrier between us. I don't know how the hostess understands this, but I know she feels strongly about it.

Finally, the original poster said, "I always wonder what to do." I want to know what the original poster is always thinking about.

Tell me, are you worried about the breakdown of your marriage? Is it the husband's words, "I don't want to talk, there is a gap," that you are worried about?

Is it "Why doesn't he consider me?" or something else? I need to know.

As for the last question, I am unable to provide an answer based on the above discussion.

If it is a hospital-diagnosed case of schizophrenia, the host should immediately inform his doctor and seek help.

I am confident that this will be helpful. Best regards.

Hello, host! I really hope my answer can be of some help to you.

Don't be too quick to label yourself as schizophrenic. This is something you should discuss with a doctor. The good news is that even if you are schizophrenic, you can improve and recover through active treatment.

Don't worry, don't be afraid! The situation you describe is actually quite common in many marriages. The good news is that a good marriage can be managed, and there are many ways to resolve conflicts in a marriage.

Now, let's dive into the exciting world of marriage! Let's first take a look at what stages are included in marriage:

1. The romantic honeymoon period!

Every newlywed man and woman is overjoyed and delighted because the love they have been waiting for years has finally come to fruition!

If the two people are still in the passionate period of being in love, then at this time, we often see the good points in each other, and we also have the motivation to temporarily pretend to be the ideal lover in the eyes of the other person. We are both deeply attracted to each other, and it's a truly magical time!

If the romantic sweet period is about how we see the good in each other, then the next grinding period is about learning how to get along with each other's shortcomings—and it's a great opportunity to grow!

2. The period of adjustment is full of contradictions—and it's a wild ride!

Once the romantic honeymoon period of newlyweds is over, it's time to embrace the daily grind! This is when we start to see each other's shortcomings, but it's also when we learn and grow together. The daily grind gradually overshadows the gorgeous colors of love, gradually fades its passion, and reveals the most realistic side of life.

When you have children, it's a wonderful thing! Both sets of parents will come over to help, and because of different views on child-rearing, this will lead to even more conflicts.

During this period, it's easy for both parties to feel overwhelmed by the various pressures that come with life, such as mortgages, car loans, work, child-rearing, and family conflicts. However, if you can navigate these challenges together, you'll be amazed at how strong your marriage can become!

This is why the period of adjustment is so important! It's the stage that requires the most attention and is also the most critical stage in determining the direction of the marriage.

3. The introspective period of working together is an amazing time!

Once you've made it through the trial-and-error stage, you'll find that you know each other better than ever! You've learned to get along with each other's shortcomings and have begun to reflect on yourself.

When both parties start to look for the reasons in themselves and understand their own internal pattern problems, amazing things happen! They will grow in the relationship and rebuild a harmonious and stable relationship.

4. The period of steadfast belief.

At this stage, something truly magical happens. The souls of the two people are connected, and they have both learned to love and accept each other, as well as to fully embrace their own childhood shadows and embrace their inner child.

At this point, the intimate relationship enters a state of deep connection. While not many relationships can enter this state, it is definitely worth striving for and moving forward in managing intimate relationships!

Understanding the four stages of marriage is the key to navigating any challenges that may arise. It's not about avoiding conflicts, but about embracing them as opportunities to deepen your understanding of each other and work through issues together.

So, when we no longer have a common language and when we start to dislike each other, it's time to step up and manage our intimacy well!

And the best part is, we can do this!

1. Adjust expectations.

We know that each of us is different, and that we have become who we are today due to the combined influence of many factors. The good news is that we can adjust our expectations!

It's time to get excited about relationships! We can make them better by adjusting our expectations. When we have high expectations, we're often sad and disappointed. But when we have low expectations, we feel bored and give up. This is a waste of potential! Let's find reasonable expectations that will make our relationships better. We need to understand our own core needs and the other person's character traits. Then, we can guide the other person to do what they can do (especially to meet your core needs) and accept what they cannot change. This will make our relationships better!

So, let's find some reasonable expectations!

It's so important to understand our own core needs and also know the other person's character traits. Then, we can guide the other person to do what they can do (especially to meet our core needs), and accept what they cannot change.

This is the key to having much less trouble in your relationship!

2. It's so important to see the other person's needs and feelings, and at the same time express your own needs and feelings!

In marriage, it's so important to learn to see each other's needs and feelings, as well as express our own needs and feelings. When we do this, love and emotion can flow freely, and we can nourish and grow in the relationship. This is the key to making a marriage last!

3. Keep growing yourself, enriching yourself internally, and bring a sense of novelty to your partner!

As you continue to grow, you will be able to find your own fun when you are alone, and you will also be able to offer advice when your partner needs it. When your inner world becomes more and more abundant, you take good care of yourself, you love yourself enough, and at the same time, you exude your charm. What you bring to your partner will also be a different feeling. He will discover that you are not static, and he will find that you can always surprise him. A relationship like this will be more warm and vibrant—it'll be amazing!

Your growth is for you! It's about enriching your heart, enriching your life, and developing your abilities. And it'll make you more stable, warmer, and more at ease in your relationship!

4. Make the most of your time together by creating more opportunities to experience the beauty of being together!

There are so many amazing things you can do together! You can go on a trip, have a hot pot dinner, try couples yoga, go jogging, watch the sunrise, visit friends in other cities, or even cook a candlelit dinner!

When we continue to inject these beautiful shared experiences into our lives, we are making deposits into our emotional accounts. In this way, we can also increase our emotional communication, feel each other in different situations, see the whole of the other person, and learn to coexist with the complete, authentic other.

Love is pure, but togetherness is a relationship. And relationships need to be managed! So, may you continue to learn and grow, and become an expert at managing your own marital relationship.

I wish you all the happiness in the world!

Good day, question asker.

It's possible that the questioner is feeling a little uncomfortable, uneasy, and lost, as if the marriage has suddenly taken a turn for the worse and conversations with their husband are not going well, leaving them a little at a loss.

Given the lack of background information, the following are merely some personal thoughts. They are still based on the situation of the questioner and are offered in the hope that they might be helpful.

"My guess vs. the truth"

In a relationship, it's natural to wonder how the other person views themselves and whether they care about us.

It would be helpful to know whether he cares about us.

We often find ourselves wondering and guessing about how the other person thinks and feels.

Sometimes, we may even test the other person to see if our suspicions are confirmed.

It can be challenging to ask directly, so we may instead choose to observe and see how the other person responds.

I believe this is an effective way to safeguard our feelings, as it can be challenging to openly express our thoughts and concerns. We may be hesitant to do so, fearing that our words might not be received the way we intend.

Such an outcome is undoubtedly painful.

Perhaps the other party will miss some opportunities to gain a deeper understanding of our perspective.

It is possible that many of our thoughts are beyond his understanding.

Given the vast differences in how we perceive and interact with the world, it is perhaps inevitable that even verbal communication can sometimes be marred by misunderstandings.

It would seem that the husband of the questioner also cares about her, for example, he would hope that she exercises, but he may have considered the issue of the road slightly inadequately, and he did not expect the problem of the road, which also caused some disagreements and unpleasantness.

We all have our own considerations in our respective worlds, and we naturally define some reasons for the actions of others. However, there may be instances where our interpretations are based on our own thoughts and perceptions.

Perhaps we could consider, for example, what considerations might have been behind the husband's request. It's possible that he wanted the wife to spend more time at his parents' home so that he could see her more often.

Could it be that they are simply uncomfortable thoughts?

It is possible that there are other answers, and there may even be some answers that we have not anticipated.

If we can find a way to communicate more effectively, we can gain a deeper understanding of each other's thoughts, make more timely concessions, and better meet each other's needs.

If we don't ask and be honest about our inner thoughts, it may be challenging to have the opportunity to understand each other fully, which could potentially lead to a sense of misunderstanding and a gradual shift in the dynamics of the relationship.

It might be helpful to try a different approach to communication.

In addition, the questioner mentioned that it may be related to his schizophrenia, and he feels mentally blocked. I hope the questioner will not worry too much for now.

I'm not sure if the questioner has gone to the hospital for an investigation and diagnosis. If so, I hope they have followed the doctor's guidance and undergone psychological treatment.

If it's not too much trouble, could you kindly inquire with your husband to see if he's aware?

Given the potential impact on the questioner's physical and mental health, it's a crucial matter that merits our attention.

In some cases, we may not be able to handle some problems independently, so we are a little concerned about the questioner and wonder if they have sought the necessary support.

It is possible that proper handling of this aspect may have a direct effect on the resolution of other problems, as schizophrenia may affect the questioner's emotions, thoughts, behavior, etc. Therefore, it would be beneficial to consider this matter seriously.

If I might offer my personal advice, it would be:

It might be helpful to try to communicate with the other person as much as possible, and to express your needs and thoughts in a slow and honest way. People who care about you will likely respond in a positive way.

I also hope that the questioner will not feel discouraged. It is possible that problems may not be at an impasse and may have solutions.

We can look for the right kind of support and help at the right time, and we will always find a solution that is right for you.

I wish you the best!

Hello!

It's totally understandable to feel insecure in your own family, especially when your husband isn't around. Have you ever considered getting help for the schizophrenia you mentioned? It's so important to take care of yourself and your family.

Or is it just a guess? If there's a knot in your heart, my dear, you still have to untie it this morning. Otherwise, it will always be hard.

Take a deep breath and think about what's going on.

1. After you had the baby, whenever your husband wasn't home, you stayed at your parents' house. Some time ago, you needed to go home for the Lantern Festival. You went back that afternoon, and you had a bit of a chat. In the end, you compromised and went back.

It's totally fine for you to stay at your parents' place when your husband is not at home! But it seems like you often stay there, which makes your husband feel a little uncomfortable because you're married and he feels like you care more about your family.

2. Last night, the video asked you to go home and exercise, but because the journey was long and you didn't want to go back, you said you didn't want to talk to him. There is a gap between you, and you feel that your marriage is on the verge of divorce.

I'm so sorry to hear that your husband asked you to go home and exercise for your own good. It's so frustrating when we're unwilling to do something and our partners get angry with us. I can understand why you might have said something angry back in return. But if that was the only reason, it wouldn't be worth getting a divorce over.

Unless there are other real issues between you.

3. You also feel that my husband doesn't talk to you much anymore. In fact, you think it has a lot to do with your schizophrenic relationship. You are now feeling a lump in your throat and a knot in your heart, always wondering what to do.

It's possible that your husband just doesn't want to argue with you, and that's why he's quiet. Have you ever thought about whether you're currently taking medication for schizophrenia?

If you've never been to the hospital, it's a great idea to go for a regular check-up. It'll be so much easier to relax and not have to worry about anything if you do! And if you do end up getting sick, you'll still get the treatment you need. It's a wonderful thing to get to know yourself and those around you better during the healing process. You might even get a few surprises along the way!

And now, for my closing remarks:

I wish you all the happiness and joy in the world! I really hope you get out of your troubles soon!

If you're feeling confused, please don't hesitate to send me a private message. I'm here to help!