When the weaker party explodes, is the relationship irreparable?

Hello, question asker! I have to say, I admire your self-awareness.

It's great that you can see the different character traits and relationships so clearly. Let's look at your question together.

You say you're timid and weak-willed, have low self-esteem, and are suspicious. You also lack work ability. When getting along with others, you've never dared to make demands, refuse, or express your thoughts and opinions.

Your work partner is strong-willed, straightforward, and short-tempered. She's got great business ability and a bold, impudent character. She's demanding and critical, and she'll criticize even the leader. She'll do the work when she's happy, but when she's not, no one can make her move. She's pretty strict with you and has a strong desire for control.

You're different, but you work well together as a team. You've always followed her lead and deferred to her, while she's bossed you around, given you orders, and scolded you. Being scolded, insulted, and disliked is a daily occurrence.

You're afraid of losing this job, so you keep your anger in check, but she's getting more and more out of line. Once, someone spread some pretty wild rumors about you in front of her, saying that you were talking about her behind her back. Without thinking it through, she pushed you out of the department in front of customers.

You still say nice things to her as usual, but she doesn't listen and just scolds you with even harsher words. You feel like you're walking on thin ice every day, and it's making you feel bad, a bit depressed, and anxious. This incident has made you even more anxious, and you haven't been able to sleep well for three nights. You haven't had a proper rest, and you've experienced auditory hallucinations.

You handed in your resignation, saying that no matter how great a Buddha she was, you would not serve her anymore. She just brushed you off as if it were no big deal and scared you by telling you how you would not be able to live if you lost this job, so that you would not quit. Once you've sorted out your problems, you can consider them from the following perspectives.

1. You're experiencing auditory hallucinations and may also have depressive and anxious moods. Do you need to go to the hospital for a check-up? If not, do you need to give your body and mind a break and rest for a while, so that your body and mind have a chance to relax?

2. Can this boss, who constantly puts you down and criticizes you, decide whether you stay in your job or not? Did you join her company to work for her, or did the company recruit you to work for it?

Think about these questions. If she can't decide whether you should stay or go, why should you give up a job because of her? You can talk to her about it clearly, and if that doesn't work, you can apply for a transfer.

3. Will your life really be difficult and unsustainable after you give up this job? It doesn't matter which choice you make. As long as you're willing to work hard and take responsibility, you don't have to care what other people say.

Ultimately, you'll have to take responsibility for your choice either way.

Best of luck to the original poster! I hope my answer is helpful. The world and I love you!

Dear Question Asker, I have read your description and I am gratified to see that you have finally found the courage to defend your own boundaries. I am also pleased to see that your soul mate is so dedicated and is accompanying you as you complete your life's lessons.

It is evident that your workmate has set an exemplary standard for you. She has demonstrated the capacity to live out aspects of herself that you have been reluctant to embrace. In Buddhist philosophy, this phenomenon is described as adverse conditions leading to positive results.

I previously participated in a psychological exercise titled "Through the Darkness." The objective was to traverse 100 meters to a designated point, where four individuals would provide support from the waist, while another individual would attempt to dissuade me from continuing. However, a partner would be present to encourage perseverance and determination.

Securing the championship title will entitle me to a financial reward of $5,000. During the observation of the demonstration, a considerable number of individuals exhibited signs of intimidation regarding the assigned task. The demonstrator was a physically robust individual, whereas I am a comparatively weaker woman. Consequently, it is unlikely that I will be able to successfully transport four individuals.

Ultimately, I achieved the championship title and reached the goal in the shortest time. There was no divine intervention. It was through grappling with those four opponents that I discovered the optimal strategy. If I engaged in direct confrontation, I would be overpowered. However, if I employed a more evasive approach, they would adjust their tactics accordingly. I continuously adjusted my posture and lowered my center of gravity until I was on the ground, and they were also swaying with me. I persisted until the end, and I am grateful to those four opponents who challenged me and forced me to utilize my strength and wisdom.

In other words, they have shaped my identity. It is your work partner's unwavering pursuit that has instilled in you the courage to resist. In other words, your work partner has influenced your character.

As described, the subject displays timidity, cowardice, inferiority, and suspicion. However, these traits may in fact be a strength. The subject also exhibits empathy, a penchant for peace, and a fear of conflict.

If Lin Mei Mei is, as you assert, devoid of intrinsic value, why is Bao Ge so infatuated with her, to the extent of being willing to die for her? There are thousands of faces in the world, and each person is a unique entity, a distinctive landscape. There is no necessity to adhere to such negative beliefs.

It is imperative to establish a correct sense of boundaries.

Due to your low self-worth, you perceive your needs and feelings as insignificant, leading you to believe that the needs and feelings of others supersede your own. Consequently, you are likely to experience repeated instances of disregard and hurt. From this point forward, it is recommended that you prioritize your needs and feelings and utilize the power of anger in a constructive manner. This approach has the potential to significantly enhance your sense of well-being. It is important to note that expressing anger in an adult manner does not entail walking away with a frown. Anger can also be expressed in a calm and composed manner.

One must consider whether to repair the relationship or alter the pattern.

In essence, the question you are asking is whether you wish to perpetuate the existing interaction pattern. Is not your relationship merely that of colleague or superior-subordinate?

As long as the professional relationship persists, the personal relationship will continue to do so as well. The question at hand is whether, in the wake of such a significant incident, it is possible to revert to the established pattern of the past and resume the roles of one dominant and one submissive partner.

Ultimately, the decision is yours. Should you choose to continue allowing yourself to be bullied until you reach a point of extreme anxiety before you are able to express your feelings and needs, or would you prefer to establish a mode of interaction that is comfortable for all parties involved?

I am a psychological counselor, Zhang Huili. You are welcome to consult with me. Together, we will identify sources of resilience in your life and facilitate the optimal development of your abilities.