Why can't I let go of that accusatory remark if I don't want to torment myself?

Hello, sweet girl. I see the confusion you are facing right now, and I'm here to hug you!

I know it can be tough, but you're going to be okay. What you're going through is just a normal part of life. I'm here for you, and I'm sending you a big, warm hug.

I totally get it. I was just like you, a girl who was easily affected by what others said about me.

And then, later on, how did I manage to adjust myself?

I'm not sure if you've read the book A Change of Heart, but I think you'd really enjoy it!

The book says that we only need to know that there are three things in this world: our own affairs, other people's affairs, and the affairs of heaven.

And then, when others accuse you, it can feel like it's not something you can control.

Other people have mouths, so they can say whatever they like, bless their hearts!

I know it can be tough, but I promise you it gets easier. I slowly started to change my perspective and think like this: I would no longer mind what others said to me.

It's just a fact of life that not everyone is going to like us, but we can do our best to be the best we can be and that's all we can do!

I really hope the problem you're having gets sorted out soon.

I'm so sorry, but I can think of only these things now.

I really hope my answers are helpful and inspiring to you, my dear girl. I'm here for you, and I'm studying hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, we love you and the world loves you too! Wishing you all the best!

Dear Questioner,

From your description, it appears that you may be experiencing a common phenomenon in life. In interpersonal relationships, there is a term called "sense of boundaries." The so-called sense of boundaries can be understood, in simple terms, as the feeling that the other person has encroached upon your personal space, your limits, and so forth.

It is essential to establish clear boundaries in all types of relationships, including friendships, family ties, and romantic partnerships. The individual in question expressed difficulty in maintaining harmonious interactions with others, yet the underlying issue may lie in their inability to delineate boundaries and navigate social interactions.

Individuals who possess a clear sense of boundaries often exhibit high self-esteem, confidence, and a robust sense of security. They are not apprehensive about rejecting others and do not readily impose their personal affairs upon others. If they do, they learn to express gratitude, recognizing that no individual desires to be persistently bothered. They also learn to express gratitude to their closest individuals. In contrast, individuals with a weak sense of boundaries often lack self-confidence and self-esteem. When someone requests assistance, they expend significant time and energy, yet the other person offers a perfunctory thank you or makes disparaging remarks about them, and they do not resist.

The following section will address the manner in which one might navigate the intricacies of boundary issues.

[1] It is of the utmost importance to establish one's own personal threshold. In the absence of clarity regarding one's limits and the degree of tolerance one is willing to accept, it becomes challenging to delineate reasonable boundaries in interpersonal interactions.

For example, one can observe how one tolerates discomfort and stress in response to a given situation. For example, if someone were to say that one is a spiritualist, one might become angry and refuse the assistance of the other person in determining one's fundamental principles.

[2] One must learn to distinguish between one's own issues and those of others. This is known as "issue separation." It entails differentiating between other people's affairs and one's own, as well as between other people's emotions and one's own.

It is imperative to take responsibility for one's own affairs and refrain from doing so for others. Other people's opinions are merely their own and have no bearing on one's own actions. It is essential to pursue one's own path and ignore the opinions of others. To enhance self-awareness, it is beneficial to view oneself as an outsider and examine one's own mental processes, behaviors, emotions, and outcomes from the perspective of others. This can be achieved by observing and analyzing one's own mental activities and behaviors, as well as understanding oneself through the attitudes of others. This process allows one to comprehend one's abilities, strengths, and weaknesses and set goals tailored to one's own circumstances.

It is my hope that the aforementioned information will prove beneficial to the individual who posed the initial question.

The host is not unable to let go of that sentence, but feels that you should not be accused in such a manner. There is no evidence to suggest that you have done anything wrong, therefore it is unclear why you are being accused.

They are weary of my concern for these inconsequential matters.

The trivial matters that they prioritize are, in fact, of greater consequence to you, and the concept of what is trivial is inherently subjective. It is therefore unreasonable for them to define it according to their standards.

The motivation behind the desire to confront this issue is rooted in a deeper underlying reason. It is likely that the initial attempt to refute the matter was unsuccessful, leading to further contemplation on how to effectively address it. Eventually, a solution was devised, effectively putting the matter to rest. However, from the perspective of the other party, the matter may not be perceived as significant, whereas from your perspective, not addressing it is not an option. It seems that you are unable to move past this mental obstacle.

2. Consider the following: Their theoretical stance may be attributed to the perception that you are incorrect in your assertions and that you are not aligned with their perspective. It is plausible that they have misinterpreted your position.

3. Why should the host be constrained by the definitions of others? It appears that the host is invested in the definitions others provide, and a discrepancy between these definitions and reality may elicit a negative emotional response.

This indicates that the host is not particularly amenable to certain circumstances or perspectives about themselves.

The host perceives himself differently than he is perceived by others. Additionally, he desires to demonstrate the authentic self.

Additionally, the subject wishes to demonstrate their own self-perception to the other party.

The host should be aware that the author's understanding may have been incomplete and that some labels may have been applied without sufficient justification. However, the author does not intend for these observations to cause any distress or offence.

It would be prudent to consider the matter based on your own experience.

It is imperative that the host be a person of great seriousness and that they view the joking of others with the utmost gravity.

In some cases, the individual who posted the content may not perceive it as a joke, whereas the host may view it as such.

It is recommended that the following suggestion be considered:

1. Acceptance is key. It is important to recognise that one's self-definition may differ from how others perceive them.

2. It is inadvisable to devote an excessive amount of attention to the opinions of others, as it is unfeasible to satisfy the preferences of all individuals. However, it is imperative to undertake the necessary introspective work.