Hello, I'm Qingyi, a counselor.
Your question shows you feel powerless, helpless, frustrated, and even a little indignant. You think you'll fail, so why try? But you're worried you'll lose opportunities and change your life trajectory. You don't want these consequences. This thinking has caused internal friction. You're confused about why.
The problem is that people think, "I'm sure I'll fail, so why try?" We need to look at why people think this and find ways to cope.
This belief often comes from complex psychological mechanisms and past experiences.
Such a thought may come from one or more of the following:
One is setting limits on oneself. Our perception of ourselves can be very fixed, especially negative perceptions. Such beliefs may stem from negative experiences, comments, or distorted self-perception.
These beliefs stop people from trying hard because they think they will fail anyway.
The second is learned helplessness. When someone fails after trying, they may give up.
They think that no matter how hard they try, they won't succeed, so they stop trying.
Third, low self-efficacy. This is our belief in our ability to complete a task or achieve a goal.
People with low self-efficacy doubt their abilities and find it difficult to persevere.
Fear and anxiety can also affect self-efficacy. Uncertainty about the future and fear of failure can make people avoid new things or challenges.
They worry about being laughed at or feeling worthless if they fail.
We can try these ways to cope:
First, you have to change how you see yourself. You have to realize that your negative beliefs are not true.
Second, build a more positive self-image through self-reflection, counseling, or support groups.
Second, set small goals and work towards them. Break long-term goals into a series of small goals.
This can help you feel less stressed and see your progress.
Third, build self-efficacy. Do tasks you can do well to build self-efficacy.
Choose tasks that are challenging but not too difficult.
Fourth, learn to cope with failure. It's part of growing.
We need to learn from failure. Reflect on why you failed and how you can improve.
Seek support. Share your feelings with family, friends, colleagues, or a counselor.
They can help you get out of a difficult situation.
Sixth, have a positive mindset. Relieve stress and anxiety through meditation, yoga, exercise, and other methods.
Seven is to accept uncertainty. Life is uncertain.
We need to accept and adapt to uncertainty. By recognizing it as the norm, we can face the future more calmly.
I hope this helps. Best regards!


Comments
I feel like it's a really tough spot to be in, thinking we're destined to fail no matter what. It seems this mindset has been holding us back from even giving ourselves a chance. I wonder if it stems from past experiences or maybe fear of the unknown.
It sounds like you're wrestling with a heavy sense of doubt and regret. Sometimes we set such high standards for ourselves that anything less feels like failure. Perhaps looking into where this belief comes from could offer some clarity and a path forward.
This fear of inevitable failure can be paralyzing. It's like there's an invisible barrier stopping us from moving forward. Maybe it's time to challenge those beliefs and ask ourselves if they're really true, or if we've let them grow unchecked.
It's frustrating when you can't pinpoint why you feel this way about failing. Maybe it's not about finding the reason but about accepting that it's okay to feel uncertain. What if we focused on taking small steps despite the fear?
The thought of failing despite efforts can make one hesitant to try at all. But isn't it also true that every attempt, successful or not, teaches us something valuable? Maybe shifting focus to learning rather than winning could change this perspective.