Why does an unexplained anger arise after every close encounter with my mother?

Topic Master, you're great! Thanks for meeting with me.

From what you've shared, I can sense your frustration and feeling of being stuck. I'm here to support you.

Let's talk about this.

1. What makes you feel angry?

Once we recognize our emotions, we can start to heal. Let's take a moment to understand why we feel angry.

"She likes to joke around and emphasize the little things she does (like when I spend $10 to $20 on her) and say that it's some kind of selfless sacrifice. This makes you feel like you can't enjoy her sacrifices, like her sacrifices are all conditional, and like you have to bear all that she provides and repay her in the future. This makes you feel stressed. Because at the moment you don't have the ability to repay her, and you don't think that spending $10 to $20 is worth mentioning, your mother is making a big deal out of it by joking about it, without considering your feelings. She doesn't love you unconditionally, but has demands on you.

This is a bit different from the image of the perfect mother you had in mind, which makes you a little disappointed in her words and deeds, and then angry, right?

"I'm an adult, but she still complains about closing the door to my room." It's as if she can't accept that you have your own independent space and thoughts. She always wants to control you. This makes you feel suffocated and uncomfortable. You don't feel respected, appreciated, or recognized by her. At the same time, her emotions make you feel insecure and unstable inside. All of this makes you feel angry, right?

"I'm going to be in this shadow for a long time," because you don't have the ability to separate and live independently, and you can only be controlled by your mother, so this makes you feel very powerless. You can't get rid of it for the time being, and you will be anxious inside. You will then criticize your mother for causing you this pressure, so you will be very angry, right?

Since your description is pretty short, I can only analyze the source of your anger based on the information you've given so far. This anger isn't ignorant; there are some clues to follow.

2. How to solve it

First, share how you're feeling. Since your mother hasn't considered your feelings, shown you enough acceptance and tolerance, or loved you unconditionally, you can start by consistently sharing your emotions in the moment. This will help your mother realize that her words and actions are inappropriate.

This is the only way your mother will change. Learn to express your emotions, but not emotionally, so you can set your own boundaries to protect yourself and remind the other person to be aware of their words and actions.

Second, you can learn to manage your emotions. When you feel angry, you can leave the scene, take a deep breath, focus on breathing, and then write out your emotions, go outside, find an open space to shout them out, or find a trusted friend to vent to. You can also find a platform to talk to a listening therapist or a professional psychological counselor. These methods can help you let go of your anger and not be affected by your emotions, so you can act in a more reasonable way.

3. Get to know your mother better.

It's true that what your mother did and said was inappropriate and hurt you. But we still need to understand her and her limitations.

There's a saying in NLP: "Behind every behavior is a valid motive." Even though these behaviors are inappropriate, there's a reason why she behaves or speaks in such a way.

Maybe she was treated this way when she was growing up, or maybe she lacks a sense of security and therefore needs to hold on to you. There are many possibilities, and you can slowly understand her by listening to her talk about her own upbringing and getting along with her on a daily basis.

Of course, understanding her actions doesn't mean you have to agree with her words and deeds. It just means letting yourself off the hook. Otherwise, you'll always be internally resistant to her, always wanting to confront her. That will only make it easier to recall those scenes from the past where she hurt you, making you even angrier.

As a result, your words and actions will also start to reflect hers, because you've given them your attention, and they've become part of your subconscious.

So, focus on yourself, learn to satisfy yourself, love yourself unconditionally, respect yourself, accept yourself, appreciate yourself, recognize yourself, allow and accept her to have such words and deeds, express your emotional feelings appropriately and consistently, and set boundaries to protect yourself.

As you improve and grow, she'll also be influenced and change in ways you can't see.

I hope this helps, and I wish you the best!

Good day. I am a heart exploration coach. I wish you well in your future endeavors. Life is a beautiful journey, not for appreciation, but for growth and development.

You experience frustration and anger stemming from your interactions with your mother. You wish to distance yourself from the negative influence she has on you, yet you are unsure of how to release the anger you feel. Take a deep breath and let's examine the situation together.

1. Identify the emotional state you are currently experiencing and the underlying cause.

Human wisdom, like emotions, provides a degree of protection. For instance, anger can assist in maintaining personal boundaries.

For example, fear can assist in the avoidance of potential hazards.

As you referenced a few minor examples from your life, they may not be significant in themselves, but they do have an impact on your mood and your study life.

Your mother's tendency to engage in jovial banter with you and others may have evolved over time. She has a proclivity to view your privacy as a non-issue, assuming that a child and their mother share a unique bond.

From her perspective as a mother, she believes that things are simple and intimate, and that they can interact freely. However, from your perspective as an adult, you desire more respect and trust.

Respect entails treating individuals with autonomy and independence, rather than treating them as children or attempting to control their actions. It is essential to respect personal space, both physically and psychologically.

2. Learn to communicate your thoughts and ideas in a clear and effective manner.

The failure to recognize and address unmet emotional needs can result in frustration.

Anger is the most effective manifestation of this. Slamming doors and throwing tantrums are all expressions of anger, accompanied by angry behavior.

Hurting others can have a detrimental impact on relationships.

It is important to learn to express yourself directly with your mother and communicate your needs clearly. This will help her to understand how she can best support you and demonstrate her love and respect. When emotions are running high, it can be challenging to think clearly. This can lead to unresolved issues and further complications.

It is important to communicate with your mother in a constructive manner, without complaining or accusing. Explain that her actions make you feel oppressed and like you have less space. Mention that you have grown up and can have your own lifestyle and living space. Outline your needs for help and when you do not require assistance.

It is not possible to convey this in words, but parents will always regard their children as needing their care and protection. It is important to understand that parents love their children and that their actions are simply ways of showing their love within their abilities.

I hope this information is useful to you. Best regards, [Name]

Should you wish to continue the conversation, you are invited to follow my personal homepage, "Heart Exploration Service."

Hello!

Your mother's somewhat boundary-less joking and getting along with others can bring anger and powerlessness—you can imagine that.

Here are some things you should think about:

Your mother is the most important person in your life and has a direct bearing on your sense of intimacy and trust.

If she sometimes violates your personal boundaries when joking or being careless, it will make you feel very uncomfortable.

Personal boundaries are an issue that must be addressed.

Everyone has their own personal boundaries and comfort zones in their daily lives and social interactions.

These boundaries include personal space, privacy, and emotional expression.

If these boundaries are crossed in jokes or daily interactions, people will feel uneasy.

As a sensitive, suspicious, and independent adolescent, you may find family members' jokes about "a little sacrifice that is said to be selfless" triggering specific emotional reactions, such as embarrassment, anger, and powerlessness.

If the joke touches on these sensitive emotions, it will also trigger a strong reaction.

Furthermore, your mother is likely unaware that her jokes make you feel uncomfortable.

You need to reconsider your communication style or remind your mother to check her own level of acceptance before joking around.

Tell your mother she needs to treat you with more respect and stop joking in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable.

You can deal with your mother's frequent jokes and lack of boundaries in the following ways:

Above all, communicate promptly.

You are your mother's favorite, and you can communicate anything.

You will find some appropriate moments and occasions to communicate with your mother in a timely manner with a respectful and understanding attitude.

You need to tell her that such jokes and behavior make you feel uncomfortable and angry.

Tell her to respect your personal boundaries.

Second, adjust your state of mind.

Remain calm and avoid over-amplifying and over-interpreting these jokes and behaviors. They could affect your relationship with your mother.

It is normal for family members to interact with humor and jokes. The starting point is definitely not to hurt people.

However, you must express your discomfort clearly and promptly.

If communicating with your mother does not achieve the desired effect, you can also seek help from other family members or friends and ask them to help as a mediator.

Once more, establish your own boundaries.

If your mother jokes or behaves in a way that goes beyond your comfort zone or tolerance, you have the option of not responding or directly telling her that you prefer a certain way of communicating.

You must establish your boundaries by doing this.

You must take action to establish your boundaries because a vague sense of boundaries is generally a legacy of the previous generation that they can't do anything about. It's your mother's own life issue that requires some conscious and proactive action from the new generation.

Finally, address negative emotions promptly.

Read, exercise, listen to music, or chat with friends when you feel angry and dissatisfied. These are all effective ways to relax and relieve negative emotions.

Make new friends with similar interests and enjoy socializing in a more comfortable environment.

I am confident that the above will be of some help to you!

Haiyun Qingxin offers the following analysis:

1. Cause of Anger: You are now an adult and desire your own space. From your mother's perspective, you remain a child, so she is reluctant to let you close the door. Furthermore, does she anticipate a return on her investment in you? If so, then her actions cannot be defined as selfless dedication, as selfless dedication does not involve expecting a return.

If there is an expectation of a reward, it cannot be considered selfless. You feel like you have matured and become independent, but your mother still treats you like a child, which creates a conflict. You feel powerless to resolve this conflict, and your own thoughts amplify this feeling, which generates this anger.

2. Internal anger: Your anger is directed both externally, at your mother, and internally, at yourself. A small part of your anger stems from your mother's behavior, but the larger part is a result of your own frustration at your inability to resolve this conflict.

If you have the ability to generate income, or the knowledge that you can do so in the future to achieve financial independence, and in the future you can purchase your own residence and vehicle, and establish your own independent space, would you still be so angry?

3. [Solution] Rather than dwelling on negative emotions, it is more productive to focus on making positive changes. As a student, you have the opportunity to enhance your academic performance, develop greater financial literacy, and hone your professional skills. By doing so, you can gradually achieve financial independence, which will naturally alleviate your current concerns.

This is the fundamental solution.

If you are unable to implement these changes and improvements at this time, it is advisable to accept the current situation. One option is to continue eating someone else's food or communicating with your mother to express your desire to get along with her in an adult manner. However, this approach addresses the symptoms but not the root cause, and it can temporarily alleviate conflicts.

Hello. I can see you're angry after spending time with your mother. First of all, I want to give you a hug and hope that my answer will be helpful.

It's totally normal to feel angry when you mention interactions with your mother. This can come from how you see your mother's behavior, like feeling like she doesn't respect your boundaries or that she oversteps her role in your life.

This can make you feel like you're not being respected and recognized the way you deserve, which can lead to inner resistance and dissatisfaction. Sometimes, we may be confused by long-standing habitual interactions and not know how to express our dissatisfaction appropriately, or we're worried that expressing it will cause even more conflict.

However, effective communication is based on mutual respect, including expressing your own feelings and listening to the other person's feelings.

We can talk through these questions together, and I hope it will be helpful.

Take a moment to think about what specific behavior makes you angry. Is it a certain word in a joke, or the way she shuts the door to your room?

It's important to be clear about this so we can communicate our feelings effectively.

Before you speak with your mother, make sure you're in a calm state of mind. This will help you express your views in a more rational way.

Choose a good time to share your feelings using "I" statements. For example, you could say, "When I heard you say that, I felt a little uncomfortable because I want our relationship to be based on mutual respect." This way of expressing yourself can help reduce the other person's defensiveness while also making your position clear.

You could try telling your mother how you'd like to be treated. For example, you could say, "I'd like you to understand my need for personal space. When I'm studying or resting, I'll close the door."

Give your mother a chance to explain her behavior. She might not realize it makes you uncomfortable or have her own reasons.

Trying to understand her point of view, even if you don't agree with it, will help you get on the same page.

If you're struggling to deal with these issues on your own, you might want to think about seeking help from a third party, such as family counseling.

As for the physical reaction of "chest congestion" you mentioned, it's a common stress response that can be caused by tension or anxiety. You can try some relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, yoga, or meditation, to relieve physical tension.

It can be tough to change the way we interact with others, but by gradually establishing healthy communication methods, we can make gradual improvements in our relationships.

I hope this helps. Best, [Name]

Question author:

My name is Kelly Shui.

Could I ask why you feel ignorant anger every time you are close to your mother?

From what I have read, I can see that you are trying very hard to improve your relationship with your mother.

[About interaction]

The questioner mentioned that she had just finished talking to her mother. It seems that she likes to joke and emphasize her own small contributions (such as the fact that you spent her 10 to 20 yuan) and say that it is some kind of selfless contribution.

I wonder if your discomfort stems from the guilt your mother has instilled in you.

I wonder if this might be a recurring theme in your relationship with your mother. It seems that on this occasion, you felt particularly strongly about her remarks and responded in a way that might have been perceived as sarcastic.

Could you please clarify what you believe your mother was trying to express?

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider what your anger might be trying to communicate if it could speak.

Perhaps we can try to guess why Mum emphasizes her own contribution.

It would be interesting to know whether the father sees her efforts.

Could it be the grandmother's family?

It might be helpful to consider that if mum was often recognized or affirmed in her past environment, she may be able to "fulfill" her expectations in other relationships. If no one has ever seen her, it's possible that mum may be longing to be seen by you.

If you can empathize with your mother's feelings, it might help to let her know that you understand how challenging this must be for her. At the same time, you could gently but firmly tell her:

You may not be comfortable with hearing things like this, as it can feel a bit overwhelming. It's understandable that you might find it difficult to take things at face value, and that's okay.

It would be beneficial to clearly communicate your feelings to your mother. As adults, parents have a responsibility to provide for their children financially or to raise them.

If we take the time to understand our own feelings in interactions, we may come to recognize that there are often expectations behind a mother's expression. By doing so, we can foster a relationship that is both warm and powerful.

There are many ways to interact, and it may be helpful to explore which kind of communication is more conducive to your relationship and your own emotions.

I believe that every family will find a way that suits them best.

[Regarding boundaries]

I believe you mentioned that your mother may not fully understand boundaries. Although she is still a student, she is already an adult, and I appreciate your sense of independence.

It seems that your mother is still unhappy about the closed door to your room. Could it be that she feels insecure?

"How old do you think she still sees you as?"

Perhaps it would be helpful to gently remind her that you have grown up and are no longer the child she remembers.

How might we gently help your mother to understand that you have become an adult?

Everyone faces challenges as they grow and develop. Looking back, how did you and your parents perceive your evolving independence in your relationship?

It is not uncommon for changes in the family at this time to affect the most powerful person. You may wish to consider telling your mother in an honest and open manner through adult communication.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider the following:

It seems that after she leaves, you experience a peculiar sensation in your chest, which dissipates only after you drop two books.

Perhaps you could also ask your mother how long she thinks you should feel blocked in the chest?

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider ways of overcoming the feeling of being blocked, which can sometimes be relieved by throwing books at the floor.

Perhaps if you were to invite your mother for a walk or coffee and talk to her as a female friend, you might be able to gain some insight into her insecurities. It seems that when you close the door, she feels the distance between her and her child, and she struggles to accept it. Or perhaps she longs for a closer relationship with her child?

It is not uncommon for mothers to be new to the experience of motherhood, and they may find themselves seeking to enhance their own lives through their children's growth and development. This can involve learning to establish and maintain healthy boundaries.

I believe a good relationship has boundaries and is flexible. I think there are many ways to communicate.

It might be helpful to consider involving your father in supporting your mother. At the same time, it's also important to take care of yourself and reflect on how you can manage your own feelings of anger and powerlessness.

Boundaries are about determining what is your responsibility and what is your mother's, without getting involved in your mother's emotions and thoughts.

It would be beneficial to allow yourself time to learn how the adult you are now interacts with your mother. This could be seen as the beginning of every adult taking responsibility for their own growth.

Adults are capable of taking responsibility for their own efforts and are willing to face things in a positive manner.

As you are open to seeking assistance by asking questions and trusting your own judgment, you will likely find a way of communicating that is mutually beneficial.

I believe that you also love your mother, and that your mother also loves you. It seems to me that the best way to maintain a harmonious relationship is through continuous communication.

You might consider writing about some of your fond memories with your mother.

Perhaps it would be helpful to try to sort out the current situation.

You might find it helpful to read the following books: "Self-Boundaries," "The Courage to Be Disliked," and "The Theory of Personal Formation."

Good day. I have received your thoughtful inquiry. I am ZQ, a heart exploration coach from the Yixinli platform. Every child will eventually have to establish their own identity apart from their family of origin. If they have not achieved this, there may be some special circumstances.

For instance, in some smaller communities, the cost of living is relatively high, leading many children to choose to live with their parents even after they have reached adulthood. This is particularly prevalent in Hong Kong and other more prosperous areas. When children choose to live with their parents after they have grown up, it is inevitable that there will be a lot of friction.

The existence of a generation gap between the two generations inevitably gives rise to a number of issues when they live under the same roof. For instance, parents often perceive their sacrifices as selfless and great, whereas children frequently feel that they should repay their parents regardless of the cost.

It is unlikely that they will be entirely at the mercy of their parents, nor will they always act in accordance with their parents' wishes. However, children often fail to realise that, as long as they continue to live with their parents and reside in their parents' home, their behaviour and some of their thinking patterns will be susceptible to influence and control by their parents.

Despite the fact that the new generation of children is becoming increasingly independent in spirit, as evidenced by the rise of the Millennial and Generation Z/G/X generations, they are still constrained in their actual behavior. This discrepancy between internal and external independence may be a driving force behind the desire for independence.

However, this is challenging in practice due to financial constraints. Even if they leave home, many individuals return to their parents' residence after leaving school, seeking financial assistance or reuniting with their family.

If the new generation of young people lacks both a family unit and a fixed place of residence,

It is probable that they will encounter difficulties in exercising autonomy and will consistently seek guidance from external sources. Ultimately, economic status is a significant determinant.

If children are not yet financially independent, they may require continued assistance and support from their parents.

It is likely that they will only gradually become more independent, acquiring their own residence, living conditions, and the foundations for starting a family. You may be facing a similar issue at this time.

Each time you interact with your mother, you experience feelings of frustration and anger due to her lack of understanding of boundaries and respect for your preference for joking around. This leads to feelings of anger and a sense of powerlessness.

It is important to note that privacy is often limited in a family setting. While parents may encourage open communication, it is not always necessary for children to do so. It is essential to recognize that parents and children are distinct individuals with unique perspectives and needs. Even if you are the child of a particular individual, you are still a unique individual in your own right.

You have your own independent consciousness and independent body structure. You are not obliged to obey anyone's orders or unreasonable suggestions. If you wish to become truly independent, you should plan your life and consider whether you can learn some real skills during college.

It is advisable to become financially independent as soon as possible in order to relocate from your hometown as soon as you are able to do so. Some individuals may be required to return to their hometown after graduating from university in order to secure a stable position. However, this may limit their opportunities for personal and professional growth.

They are still required to remain in close proximity to their parents and accept inflexible planning. However, some individuals have already acquired a multitude of skills through part-time employment or work while pursuing their undergraduate studies. This enables them to swiftly secure a suitable position after graduation and establish themselves in a city of their choosing.

In this way, they are already relatively independent and do not require parental guidance. It is therefore important to find a balance between understanding and providing guidance.

It is advisable to devise your own plan so that you can settle down in a city you like and start a career. This will avoid the necessity for you to remain with your parents for an extended period.

Even if the other party persists in their objections for an extended period, it is preferable for all parties involved. I also suggest that you are able to discuss your feelings with a trusted friend to gain insight into how the other party handles such matters. Some parents may still be open to communication, willing to listen, and more restrained in their approach.

Please advise.

In the journey of life, family is our first port of call and our final destination. However, in the daily interactions within the family, it is inevitable that we will encounter some conflicts and frictions. The relationship with our mothers, in particular, is complex and delicate.

You mentioned that you feel inexplicable anger after being close to your mother, which is a challenge that many young people face as they navigate their growth process. Let's explore together how to understand your mother, communicate boundaries, and build a harmonious family relationship.

First, it is important to recognize that there are often deep psychological motives behind a mother's behavior. When she emphasizes the "little things" she does, it may not be about these small material contributions, but rather a way of gaining your recognition and gratitude.

It's possible that her dissatisfaction with you closing the door isn't necessarily about the action itself, but rather about your distancing yourself from her and your no longer needing her care and love. It might be helpful to try to understand our mothers and adopt a more tolerant attitude towards their actions.

Secondly, communication is an essential tool for resolving family conflicts. When we feel dissatisfied or angry, it can be tempting to respond with accusations or ridicule, but this often does not help to resolve the problem.

It might be helpful to try communicating with our mother in a calm tone, and telling her how we feel and what we need. For example, we could say something like, "Mom, I know you have always taken good care of me, and I appreciate it."

I hope you can understand and respect my need for some space and privacy.

This way of communicating allows us to express our feelings while also respecting our mothers' feelings, which can help to enhance mutual understanding and trust.

It would be helpful to be aware of some techniques when communicating. It is often best to remain calm and rational, and to avoid emotional words and actions.

Secondly, it may be helpful to express your feelings and needs in the first person, rather than making accusations directed at the other person in the second person. For example, you could say, "I feel uncomfortable," rather than "You make me feel uncomfortable."

It would be beneficial to allow your wife sufficient time and space to understand and accept your views. It is important to remember that changing someone's habits requires time and effort.

In addition to communication, it might be helpful to try to understand her actions from her perspective. It's possible that she emphasizes her own contributions because she has more responsibilities and pressure in the family and needs some affirmation and encouragement.

It's possible that she's unhappy about you closing the door to your room because she's used to taking care of you at any time and is worried that you're unable to live independently. It might be helpful to try to see our mother's actions as being out of love and concern, rather than control and interference.

In this way, we may find ourselves at peace and more likely to accept and understand our mother's actions.

It is important to remember that while we should be understanding of our mother, we do not have to accept all of her actions unconditionally. While defending our own rights and interests, we can also teach our mother to respect our boundaries.

It is not our intention to alienate or confront our mother. Rather, we should gently let her know that everyone has their own privacy and independent space that needs to be respected and protected. We can teach our mother to respect our boundaries through concrete actions, such as kindly asking her to close the door to her room and clearly expressing our needs and feelings.

It is also important to understand that maintaining a parent-child relationship requires the joint efforts of both parties. In the family, everyone has their own role and responsibilities, and mutual respect and understanding are needed.

We can enhance mutual understanding and trust by participating in family activities together and sharing each other's lives and feelings. At the same time, it would be beneficial for us to learn to seek balance and compromise in conflicts and disputes, so as to jointly maintain family harmony and happiness.

In conclusion, to understand mothers, communicate boundaries, and build a harmonious family, we must approach conflicts and problems with a calm mind and a positive attitude. Through communication, understanding, and hard work, we can make the family our true haven, providing warmth and support for our journey through life.

Hello.

Kohut said that love should be unconditional and that rejection is not hostile.

A relationship between two people that allows this is very touching.

Your mother's homework is to show you deep affection without temptation and be resolute without hostility. Asking someone else to do their homework is usually disappointing, but asking yourself to do your homework is a way of solving problems.

Whoever is suffering changes. Are you willing to change?

To change, you must understand your anger. Once you do, it'll be easier. This is how psychology helps.

The truth of the anger is that you don't accept your mother controlling you.

Your mother controlling your space and asking you to be grateful and obedient made you feel controlled.

When you get angry, you don't say it, so you feel blocked. After you threw two books, you felt better, right?

Throwing books is not a good idea. Would "resolute without hostility" be better? Tell your mother calmly and seriously: I am an adult and need my privacy. Please respect me. I will always remember your kindness in raising me, but I also have independent needs. Please understand. Expressing yourself this way should help both of you.

Hope this helps.

Thanks for your question.

Raising children is an incredible investment, and there are so many ways to invest in them. Your mother sees the investment in raising children as an investment of money, but there are so many other ways to invest in your future!

She feels that the money she has invested has gone down the drain. But she will continue to spend money on you! She is selfless and sees so many other great things in you.

She has absolutely no idea of the incredible pressure you'll have to bear in the future!

Her life is just waiting to be filled with more substance!

Ready to change your life? Start by feeling great! Take care of yourself and watch the magic happen.

Spend your time on your own things to build self-confidence and gain happiness! Your current life is in a certain balance. If you spend your time on other people, you will be disappointed; but if you spend your time on yourself, you will gain self-confidence!

Your happiness is in your hands! While other people can influence your mood, your attention is entirely up to you. If you're chronically unhappy, it's time to double your efforts to find happiness. You can do this by focusing on things that will bring you long-lasting joy.

For example, you can procrastinate, fool around, indulge in alcohol, or watch movies and television. There is really no need to indulge in things that can bring temporary happiness for the sake of pleasure and harm your body. Just redirect your time and attention to and go about doing the things you need to do, and you will be able to deal with the sarcasm and various challenges of others without being disturbed or influenced.

A person who maintains their self-confidence is a force to be reckoned with! Their values are rock solid, and they already have a foolproof system for evaluating others.

It's simply impossible to insert it into his mind, and he can't accept other people's sarcasm as fact.

People who crave fleeting pleasures are not promising, but there's still hope! The advantage is a good ability to regulate emotions.

He has a great capacity for learning, but he does have one disadvantage: he is easily thrown off balance when faced with sarcasm. This is because he has not invested time in himself and has not built up his own world, so he is prone to self-doubt and his defenses are not strong enough.

It's easy to lose your cool when you encounter sarcasm from others. But if you already have a set of standards in your heart, you can quickly respond to others' mockery in an inquisitive manner. First, see if what others say aligns with your standards. Then, decide whether to believe what they say!

If you don't have time to cultivate yourself, you can still establish your own set of standards!

If you can't measure whether what the other person says meets the standards and decide whether to believe them or not, you'll just believe what they say and then you'll become furious!

Learning is an exciting battle for time and attention! There's no set of standards to measure the content you face or the problems in the textbook.

It is very susceptible to emotional interference and chooses not to study. But there's an easy fix for that!