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Why does transference occur in therapy? How does the therapist's every move matter?

transference consultant's moves emotional impact demand on psychotherapist control concern
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Why does transference occur in therapy? How does the therapist's every move matter? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

I dislike the occurrence of transference; I believe it has happened, and I am concerned about the consultant's every move. Every action of theirs affects my emotions, gradually increasing my demands on the psychotherapist, yet I also feel that this increased demand is a burden and worry about losing control.

Chloe Martinez Chloe Martinez A total of 296 people have been helped

Greetings,

Upon initial recognition of empathic response, an internal fearing-rejection-how-to-relax-4808.html" target="_blank">rejection was also observed. The underlying rationale and cognitive processes were likely analogous to those reported by others, namely, a perception of significant personal depletion.

Empathy is frequently accompanied by a focus on the counselor. When there is a lack of attention and a lack of connection, it can be distressing. It can be likened to a kind of "one-sided love," and there is a concern about losing control.

I empathize with your situation. I, too, experienced a similar reticence when I first began to recognize my capacity for empathy in the context of my own counseling.

The specific trigger for the commencement of counseling is unclear; however, the development of empathy is indicative of progress. The counselor is able to observe and analyze thought patterns and interpersonal behaviors, which can facilitate the identification of underlying issues and the formulation of solutions.

Furthermore, clients are able to observe their own thought processes and behaviors with greater clarity. This allows for a more constructive dialogue with the counselor, enabling the resolution of underlying issues.

The fear of empathy and the fear of losing control may be attributed, at least in part, to the counselor's lack of familiarity and the resulting lack of trust. It is uncertain whether the counselor is able to accept the self that has developed empathy.

In the event that the issue pertains to trust, it would be advisable to dedicate a portion of your time to contemplating ways to enhance your trust in the counselor and discussing this matter with them.

The aforementioned factors may also be indicative of a fear of empathy and a fear of losing control. Additionally, it is plausible that the client does not favor the notion of focusing excessively on the self.

As previously stated, you indicated that the process would evoke a heightened emotional response. This is a common reason why individuals often perceive counseling as a challenging and arduous endeavor.

As empathy is an inherent aspect of the counseling process, it is possible to discuss with the counselor how to make the process more comfortable and acceptable. For instance, if the client wishes to discuss matters outside of the counseling session, it is possible to discuss with the counselor whether recording and writing may be a suitable method of communication.

The specifics of how to set it up and whether it will be effective are matters that must be discussed between the two parties.

It is to be expected that the individual will experience fear at this stage of the process. This is a normal part of the process of personal growth and will be a valuable experience to reflect on once the individual has overcome it.

The following represents my current line of thinking on the matter.

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Calvin Calvin A total of 7707 people have been helped

Hello!

"I don't like it when empathy occurs, but I feel like it has occurred," which shows that you are really good at self-awareness and have a correct understanding of psychological counseling. It's so important to be aware of these things! Excessive empathy for the psychological counselor is harmful to both parties, so it's great that you're noticing it.

If the counselor hasn't given you any hints or promises, but you still care about the counselor's every move, it's possible you're just empathizing.

If the counselor has led you to empathize with them by hinting or promising something, or even "will gradually increase the demands on the counselor," then I really think you should find a more professional counselor with professional ethics.

You know this, but you also feel that increased demands are a burden – and you are worried about losing control. This shows that you are also a person who takes responsibility for your actions, which is great!

Indeed, increased requirements will create constraints for both parties. You are well aware that the other person does not belong to you alone, and you do not have the power to bind the counselor. The counselor's attitude towards you is more a requirement of the nature of the profession.

First of all, they want you to relax, keep a normal frame of mind, and objectively look at the professional image of a counselor. It's important to understand what your original intention of consulting is, whether it is to solve a problem or to find someone to talk to. As long as it is not to find someone to torture each other, you should not be overly empathetic with the counselor.

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Comments

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Kavan Davis Learning is a way to rise above the ordinary.

I can relate to feeling uneasy with transference. It's unsettling when you start noticing it, and it does make you hyperaware of the therapist's actions. It's like every word they say carries more weight, and that can be intense.

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Joanna Anderson Growth is the art of turning stumbling blocks into stepping - stones.

It's a tricky situation because as the transference grows, so does the pressure on the sessions. I find myself wanting more from therapy, but at the same time, I fear that these heightened expectations might not be sustainable or fair.

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Martin Davis There is no substitute for hard work.

The concern about losing control is valid; it feels like walking a tightrope. You want support and understanding, yet there's this underlying fear of becoming too dependent on the therapist's guidance.

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Agnes Davis Teachers open the door. You enter by yourself.

Transference can blur the lines between professional help and personal connection. It's hard not to let it affect you, especially when you're pouring so much emotion into the therapeutic relationship.

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Brigham Davis If you don't build your dream, someone else will hire you to help build theirs.

I worry that by leaning on the therapist more, I'm setting myself up for a fall. There's a fine line between seeking necessary support and imposing too much on someone who is, after all, just doing their job.

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