Why is it that someone has poor resilience and low psychological quality?

You have been in this state since childhood, and it has lasted for many years. You even have some physical reactions to it, such as tension, trembling hands, and cold sweat. These are also caused by psychological factors. Over the years, these feelings have resulted in feelings of depression, anxiety, and pain.

Low psychological quality is associated with poor stress resistance and anxiety. Psychological quality is developed gradually. Therefore, if your stress resistance is inadequate, you should exercise more in your daily life. Take the initiative to do things that you can accomplish in your life and work to enhance your confidence. If you encounter difficulties, take the initiative to overcome them. Reduce the help you receive from friends. Gradually strengthen physical exercise to exercise your willpower and survivability.

You may also wish to consider seeking the support of a listening therapist and a counselor. We would advise you to initially consult with us on a weekly basis on the Yi Xinli platform in order to relieve your psychological distress and eliminate your anxiety. This is similar to the process of identifying the nutrients your body requires to function at its optimal level. As everyone's constitution is different, it is essential to have a detailed understanding of your body before prescribing the right medicine. We would recommend treating the symptoms gradually, first addressing the issue and then maintaining the positive changes.

What are the causes of poor psychological resilience?

The first reason is the reduction of setbacks.

Failure to address setbacks is another contributing factor.

Reason 3: Personal, Family, and Social Factors

Reason 4: Environmental factors

Given the duration of your symptoms, I recommend initially consulting with a counselor to assess if there has been any improvement. If not, I suggest seeking a counselor who aligns with your needs and engaging in regular counseling. Additionally, it is essential to cultivate your own motivation for change. With time and dedication, you will undoubtedly become a person with high psychological quality.

Please note that the following information is provided as a service to our customers.

Hello, host. I'm here to give you a warm hug. I know that since childhood, you've felt depressed and anxious, and I'm here to help. I understand that these feelings cause you a lot of pain, and I'm ready to help you work through them.

1. When you're nervous, your mind goes blank and your hands shake. It's an instinctive reaction. First, accept these feelings. Sit down and ask yourself, "What is happening to me now? Do I feel pain? I accept my feelings. At the same time, I tell myself that it's no big deal, that this will pass, and that I just don't feel well. If you can't say it out loud, you can write it down. When the event is over, write down how you got through it, and write down how you feel after it's over. Through this kind of repeated practice and accumulation, you can increase your brain's ability to cope. When your ability increases, it means that your body's positive energy has increased and your negative energy has decreased. Naturally, those physical reactions will slowly disappear.

2. Physical anxiety is also a sign that you lack security. If someone makes you feel at ease and trust, you'll also feel better. However, the right sense of security comes from within, and adjusting your own psychological expectations will slowly make you better.

3. When you're feeling down, try some exercise to relax your body and mind. Make a few small changes to improve yourself bit by bit, and read a few pages every day to enrich your life. It's a great way to boost your mood.

4. It's okay to lean on others, like family and friends, to help fill the gaps in your inner security.

Good day.

From the text description, it seems that you are concerned about your current situation, and you have indicated that similar situations have occurred since childhood, which suggests that your anxiety has been accumulating over time. Such sorrow must be very challenging to manage.

By mentioning the word "pain," you enabled others to comprehend your emotional state.

"Worried to death" initially provided me with a term to articulate my helpless and powerless circumstances. It is essential to have vocabulary to convey one's emotions. I also hope you can recognize the ways in which you have assisted others.

Furthermore, it is important to recognise our own openness.

Does "worrying to death" indicate that your family may not fully comprehend your situation, that you receive inadequate care and support, and that you require attention and assistance?

All individuals are born free and have the right to express themselves. However, there are instances when our opinions are misinterpreted.

It may be beneficial for the questioner to identify strategies for enhancing self-confidence. It is crucial for them to perceive support, affirmation, and inclusion. Ideally, this should be a standard expectation within the social environment.

It is beneficial to have hope. We can contribute to making it a reality.

When we encounter kindness, we interact with others in a manner that treats them as equals. We do not rely solely on the words and actions of others to guide our decisions.

Should you feel hurt, communicate using facts to discuss your feelings. Even if the feelings are negative, such as fear and restlessness, express them boldly and demonstrate your courage.

Fear and anxiety are merely superficial impediments. By gradually removing these impediments, you can fully embrace your authentic self.

Good day.

I would like to offer you a hug. Perhaps you feel that life is more out of your control, which makes it difficult to find a safe haven. However, if you go within and see your inner needs and work hard to grow, you will be able to truly accept yourself and create your own starry sea.

Could stress resistance potentially be attributed to internal factors?

It is often the case that poor stress tolerance is caused by a combination of external and internal factors. External factors can include aspects of our upbringing, while internal factors may relate to our personality and temperament. There are two main types of external circumstances that can contribute to this: overprotective parenting, which can prevent children from growing up independently, and parenting that is overly critical and negative. Regardless of the circumstances, children may develop nervousness, low tolerance, and a tendency to doubt themselves.

It is often the case that children who have not received other forms of education and learned to distinguish between right and wrong are more likely to become easily frustrated when things don't go their way. This can make it difficult for them to assess situations with patience. They may long to be recognized for their aggressiveness, which can lead to a negative impact on their self-esteem when things go wrong. It can also be challenging for them to attribute things in a calm and objective manner.

It can be likened to observing individuals who, due to heightened concern, display heightened nervousness and anxiety. In some instances, it may not be a lack of ability on their part, but rather an imbalance in their state of mind, which can result in an imbalance in the normal exertion of their abilities.

How might I find ways to regulate my nervousness and anxiety?

1. Consider viewing your inner child as a source of comfort and acceptance.

It could be said that happy people are able to find healing in their childhood experiences throughout their lives, while those who have faced unfortunate circumstances may spend their entire lives trying to move on from them.

Since we cannot change our original family, we have also been influenced by it. The inner child lives in the mind, and whenever something happens that touches a wound, the inner child will send out a signal for help. At these times, familiar painful feelings will well up inside. However, as adults, we already have the ability to effectively comfort the inner child. All we need to do is be gentle and accompany it, just like the gentle mother figure in our minds, and listen to it. When we are seen and accepted, we can truly accept ourselves, and no longer be nervous and inferior when things happen, but instead show the sense of strength that adults should have.

2. It may be helpful to seek support from family members and to encourage yourself to overcome your lack of confidence.

One of the most important things to consider when trying to improve one's ability to cope with stress is the environment in which one is tested. If a person has never really been in a situation where they have to face things independently, they may not have the opportunity to grow independently. When one's personality presents a "weak" image, it can be helpful to learn to cheer oneself on and encourage oneself to face things bravely. Through the process of exercising and correcting, one may gradually learn to solve problems independently.

It may be helpful to consider that family members can often provide a valuable source of encouragement and support. By sharing negative experiences and turning them into positive emotions, family members can play an important role in helping children feel empowered to face challenges. This can help children to feel less afraid and anxious.

You might find it helpful to keep an emotional diary.

Growth is a necessary subject, but perhaps we don't need to be so hard on ourselves. It's possible that constantly using a negative approach to suppress and criticize others might not be the best way to help ourselves grow.

You might consider keeping an "emotional diary" to record your feelings and thoughts. It could be helpful to have a friend who gently accompanies and listens to you, observes your way of thinking, enhances your immune system, deepens your understanding of yourself through the process of summarizing, generates empathy, and at the same time adds new understandings. You may find it beneficial to identify your own strengths, encourage yourself, and boost your confidence.

I hope you are well, and I encourage you to persevere.

Hello, I'm a heart coach. I'll listen to you with warmth and sincerity.

I can sense your nervousness, lack of confidence, and worry. You are afraid of not doing something well or of others' negative comments.

If you worry, you become nervous, you perform worse, you become less confident, and so on.

Let's hug and then look at the problem and how to fix it.

1. Know the difference between anxiety and fear.

Fear is a physical reaction to danger in the present.

Anxiety is a future threat.

Fear keeps us safe and alive.

Anxiety is a fear of the future. It drives us forward, but if we are always alert, it drains our energy.

Your nerves stop you focusing on the present and doing things well, which drains your energy.

Fear is not a problem. The problem is anxiety.

Deal with anxiety by returning to the present.

Bring anxiety back to the present because the present involves action.

Animals have fear but not anxiety. When they feel fear, they run.

Ask yourself, "What can I do now to prevent this danger?" Take action. Anxiety is imagined by the brain.

You can learn to meditate and live in the present. Here are some ways to do this:

1. Breathe.

2. Exercise to burn off excess energy.

3. Art: Anxiety is logical, art is illogical.

4. Connect with people by making eye contact and listening to them.

5. Cleaning: Focus on one thing to relax and experience the present.

If you see anxiety as imagined danger, you'll see that most fears won't come true as long as you pay attention to them. You can do anything you set your mind to.

Doing something to address your anxiety about the future can also ease it.

2. See your fears instead of your anxiety.

If you're worried about the future, imagine the worst that could happen. Then ask yourself what you can do to avoid it.

Your nervousness, worries, and fears may be due to a desire to gain praise and recognition from others.

Ask yourself, apart from getting praise and acceptance from others, are there other ways to satisfy your needs and boost your self-confidence?

Self-affirmation, self-acceptance, and self-appreciation are key. We need to feel good about ourselves.

Often, we lack self-worth, sensitivity, and confidence because our parents didn't affirm and accept us.

There are two types of self-confidence. One is based on achievements, which is false and a sign of inferiority.

I need to prove myself to others. It's as if my life depends on it.

This kind of confidence is dangerous because it depends on things that can disappear.

For example, you worry about what others think and being able to do things well.

The other kind of confidence is confidence in oneself. This kind of confidence is true confidence.

He doesn't need external things to prove himself. Self-confidence is certainty about one's own strength.

To boost self-confidence and avoid nervousness, try this:

Idea – try – experience – ability – confidence – self-esteem – self-love.

If I want to stand on stage and give a speech, I get excited and eager. I keep giving speeches and get better at it. I master body language and interacting with the audience.

My speaking ability has improved. So has my self-confidence.

I recommend The 10,000-Hour Rule and Deliberate Practice. I look forward to becoming a better version of myself through learning.

I hope this helps you and the world. I love you.

To keep talking, click "Find a coach" in the top right or bottom. I'll chat with you one-on-one.

Hello, question asker.

I'm Intern Meow, a listener at Yixin.

We may feel that we have poor stress resistance and become anxious. However, the more we try to be strong, the more we realize that we can't do it well. Negative emotions make us feel especially useless, which in turn deepens the anxiety caused by poor stress resistance.

[Stress tolerance]

Stress tolerance is a person's psychological endurance and ability to regulate and control negative emotions when faced with adversity. Everyone's stress tolerance is different, and they have different levels of endurance when faced with different things.

People with strong stress resistance often have super self-confidence, do things without regard for the consequences, and believe that they can do a good job.

People with poor stress tolerance set limits and pressure themselves, weakening their self-confidence and making them feel inadequate. They then blame themselves, telling themselves they must do better next time, which only increases the pressure and makes things worse.

[Accept yourself]

If you have insomnia at night and try hard to fall asleep quickly, you will find that you cannot sleep.

The more we try to be brave, the more afraid we become. This is not the way to overcome our fears.

You can't stop being angry by trying to stop being angry.

When facing the problem of poor stress resistance, you must change your mindset. Stop trying to fight it. Learn to embrace yourself, accept yourself as you are, and look deeply into yourself.

Martin Seligman, the founder of positive psychology, said it best: "The best way to live your life is to change what you can and accept what you cannot."

We may not be able to change like this right away, but we can accept ourselves.

[Self-regulation]

Once you have accepted yourself, you can begin to regulate your emotions.

1⃣️ Express yourself.

You can't keep things and thoughts to yourself. They won't get better by themselves, and the thoughts won't go away. They may even continue to grow and fester in your mind.

Expressing one's innermost thoughts honestly and speaking them out is a form of psychological catharsis. When answering the hotline, listeners and counselors have found that speaking out our inner fears makes them less visible and less frightening.

The unconditional acceptance of the listener and counselor provides the courage to face it.

2⃣️ Adjust your expectations.

We often imagine things to be better than they are, hoping they will turn out the way we want. When they don't, it's a burden on the heart.

Lower your expectations and don't set the bar too high. Take small steps and gain confidence with each one.

Every small step counts, and every step will turn into a big step.

3⃣️ Relax from the tension.

We must relax because we are always fighting against the "nothing works" part of ourselves, which makes our emotions always on edge.

You need to exercise to make yourself sweat.

Listen to some light, soothing music. Close your eyes and enjoy the peace it brings.

Mindfulness meditation will generate a sense of well-being and reduce the feeling of stress in the mind when the spirit is calm and the breathing is soothing.

We are all growing up. Some do so quickly, some slowly, but we will all eventually reach our destination.

You mention that you have been struggling with relaxation since childhood. You describe feelings of shaking hands, cold sweats, and mindlessness. You express concerns about feeling depressed and anxious, and these feelings also cause you distress.

And you may feel like you're not quite meeting expectations.

There are a number of reasons why you might feel nervous when faced with problems.

It might be the case that you were brought up to be a good person, and that if you didn't meet this standard, you would be punished or criticised. This could mean that you have high expectations of yourself and feel nervous when things don't go to plan.

Secondly, it may be the case that you feel the need to maintain this state of mind to ensure your loyalty to your parents. When you encounter difficulties, they can provide support and assistance.

Thirdly, it could be said that suppressing one's abilities may result in a negative interpretation. To illustrate this point, if one were to view money in a negative light, it could potentially lead to a lack of confidence in one's ability to earn or manage finances effectively.

It might be helpful to consider that feeling like a total loser and being unable to do anything well could be a form of narcissism. Similarly, feeling like you can't do anything well might be the subconscious mind exaggerating your abilities and importance, which could be an expectation that you are very capable and can do everything well.

If I might suggest a way forward, it would be to consider seeking the help of a counselor. In a safe, stable, and reliable relationship, you can begin to repair yourself, establish a solid sense of self, show your true self, and demonstrate your abilities.

I wish you the best of luck!