Will depression affect learning if you cry while doing your homework?

Hello, host!

First, let's tackle your most pressing question: "Am I really depressed?" Depression isn't a simple diagnosis. It requires looking at lots of different factors and it's not something you can diagnose quickly. You need a professional psychologist to do this work.

I think the results of your self-test show that you're currently dealing with a lot of difficult emotions that are causing you pain and distress. From your description, it seems like you're stuck, unable to move forward or change direction.

As you're writing your homework, you cry because you must have been feeling a lot of complex emotions, like feeling aggrieved, helpless, powerless, sad, and lonely. You've probably tried very hard to control your emotions and not let them affect your studies. It's like you built a dam to hold back the tears, and you were successful in not letting them out. But now you feel like your ability to control yourself is weakening, like you've used up all your energy. So the tears have broken down the dam of self-control, and you can't stop crying while you do your homework.

But I see that you don't allow yourself to express your emotions fully. As soon as you start to cry, you feel like you have to hide it because you think people will think you're being fake. It seems like it's especially hard for you to cry when you're sad. This sense of shame is expressed by you as "I dare not tell my mother either. If she finds out, I will always feel embarrassed."

"And if it turns out that it's not depression, it would be embarrassing! So you don't allow yourself to make mistakes, and you don't allow yourself to ask your mother or a doctor for help.

So you're stuck. On the one hand, you feel like you can't fully soothe your complex emotions on your own. But on the other hand, you're afraid of being hurt even more, which could lead to more serious emotional problems. And with the increasing pressure of studying for the upcoming college entrance exam, you're also doubting your ability to achieve satisfactory academic performance, which is affecting your studies.

It's tough, isn't it? A hug to comfort you!

If you had a daughter in the same situation as you, would you want her to open up to you about her struggles? Would you want her to share her sadness and unhappiness with you in person or online?

Would you take her to see a doctor to get a professional opinion on whether she's suffering from depression? If she is, would you be willing to understand her difficulties, empathize with her feelings, and support and accompany her?

If the diagnosis isn't depression, would you feel better about the situation if she wasn't blamed for suspecting that she might be depressed?

I'm sure you're willing, but is your feeling of "embarrassment" and "shame" not just a fear you've imagined, rather than the truth?

You're worried that your mother and other important people in your life won't understand or accept you, but maybe that's not the case? The truth is, if you tell your mother how sad you are, how difficult your situation is, and that you need her to understand how you feel and where you are, and that you really need her help and support, then your mother will give you her understanding and support, right?

Are you ready to push past your fears and imagine, to open up to your mother about what you're going through and what you need from her?

We're not allowed to cry, judge ourselves, be sentimental, or feel ashamed of making mistakes. These are mental shackles we put on ourselves that get in our way. We think we're being safe by keeping these feelings hidden, but they're actually holding us back.

I want to be clear that this sense of security is an illusion. If you don't allow yourself to cry when you need to, you'll have to spend a lot of mental energy maintaining this "interception dam." The higher the water level gets, the stronger the force will be to break through the dam. Once the dam can no longer withstand such pressure, the result will be even more dangerous.

So, keeping it to yourself and not getting help is actually making things worse. The "safety" you feel from not sharing your struggles isn't real.

Of course, people around us don't always understand science, the difficulties others face, or the ability to understand. They may even despise and ridicule the elderly, the sick, and the disabled. They'll also ridicule those who make mistakes, which can hurt you in words and actions. But you're not helpless and can't help yourself at all.

First, seeking help from a psychologist is protected by the rules of counseling ethics, which protect your privacy. Your doctor is not allowed to tell anyone else about your situation without your authorization, so you can rest assured that no one else around you has access to your situation. Moreover, diagnosis is the business of experts, not you. Even if you suspect that you have depression but are wrong, seeking expert help with the diagnosis is a show of respect for science and responsibility for your own physical and mental health.

Second, you can also take steps to protect yourself psychologically. For example, if your child has depression or is experiencing psychological confusion, would you despise him and hurt him? Do you think what I am doing is right?

I think your answer should be no. Once you understand this, you'll see that if others despise, humiliate, or ridicule you because of the difficulties you encounter, it's they who have a problem, not you. It's their scientific ignorance and arrogance, not yours, that you need to be ashamed of.

Third, depression will definitely affect your studies. In fact, it's not just depression. If you don't solve emotional problems, it will also affect your studies.

If you think of the brain as a network for processing information, you'll understand that there are limits to how much it can do at once. When we're dealing with strong emotions, it takes a lot of brain power, leaving less bandwidth for learning. This can lead to difficulties concentrating, slower thinking, and memory loss. There's also physical fatigue and a decline in sleep quality. These physical changes can then make the brain work even harder, which can enter a vicious cycle.

So, the most important thing you can do for yourself right now is ask for help as soon as you can to stop getting caught in this cycle.

This is what I mean by true safety. It means facing up to difficulties, having the courage to ask for help, standing up to ignorance and prejudice, and ultimately getting out of a difficult situation. Remember, you're growing and you'll make mistakes. You have the right to feel sad and cry if you need to, to ask your mother or a professional for help, and to not be ashamed of being in a difficult situation.

Be brave and seek the right support for yourself.

That's all for now. I love you all!