You react immediately, and when you feel negative, you always think of your mother?

Hello, questioner!

Your cousin got into the interview, which made you feel uncomfortable because you're also taking the same exam. You envy your cousin for getting into the interview. Your aunt makes you run errands, wasting your review time. You feel aggrieved because your cousin has an exam, while you also have an exam.

Your aunt values your brother, but your mother belittles you and doesn't value your efforts to get on the ship. She thinks you're worthless and makes you feel ashamed.

You may feel that you and your mother have different views, but you are not emotionally hurt. Give me a hug.

As you mentioned, you worked hard for a job even though you graduated without a job or a boyfriend. During the process, your mother did not understand your actions, but you resisted the pressure to study and pursue what you wanted.

Your brother's success in getting an interview also makes you admire him and want to be like him. However, your mother's disparagement in the study environment and your aunt's frequent interference with your studies are obstacles to your progress.

This is likely because you lack a reason to give yourself credit for your successes. However, this also has a significant impact on your revision process.

You should wait until your brother's interview is over and then ask him how he studied. You can also gain experience by taking notes or learning new methods. In addition, your brother's success will provide you with useful reference points.

This is undoubtedly the best thing about your brother's success for you.

Second, you should express your feelings to your mother instead of making accusations. This makes you feel hurt and aggrieved. Of course, many parents who accuse their children when they don't achieve something actually care about them and are worried. However, their words turn into accusations and put-downs. You need to understand the real thoughts behind your mother's words.

You can find a job that suits you—and there's no need to be discouraged if you don't pass the civil service exam after the age limit.

I am confident that you will soon be able to settle down and have a good life!

Hello, questioner.

Your cousin's success in the interview highlights your own incompetence, which makes you very angry. It's like the frustration you felt when your mother said you weren't good enough.

It makes you angry and depressed.

You can see how your mother has negatively influenced you, and you're determined to change it.

You are dissatisfied with the status quo. You want to escape from your mother's emotional abuse. Her insults have frustrated you greatly.

You have a fighting spirit. This is rare.

Your mother's negative comments have undoubtedly affected your confidence. Affirmation in close relationships is the source of our self-confidence.

For example, if you are concerned about your cousin's strengths over yours, your age disadvantage, or the fact that you didn't do so well in the exam, ask yourself: You can succeed. You believe in yourself.

You can succeed.

You've chosen to take the civil service exam, but you should ask yourself if this is the right path for you. Do you truly want to pass the exam? Do you like the idea of taking the exam? Or do you just want to prove to yourself and your mother that you can succeed?

If it's not the right environment for you, you'll suffer if you don't fit in at work. If you really like it, believe in yourself and don't be distracted by the outside world.

Give it your best shot. Try meditation, especially meditation to boost self-confidence, to make yourself feel that you can do it.

We all have a tendency to self-defeat, and we will not succeed if we keep thinking about failure. But when we have a successful image in mind, we will succeed.

Find something you really like and are interested in, and you will become good at it and feel a sense of achievement because you like it and have put in the effort. This is the same positive cycle as your cousin's learning.

It's normal to be angry with your aunt when you see that she clearly favors her own child.

Your aunt favoring you and being picky with her own son would be abnormal.

At your aunt's, you saw a mother's recognition of her child and pride in her child. You don't have these feelings.

You feel angry with her because you can't get it.

I don't know why your aunt instructed you to do something. You need to find out where you're preparing for the exam. You still need a quiet environment to prepare for the exam.

You can rely on yourself even if you can't rely on your mother or aunt. If you fail the civil service exam, you can look for a job that suits you and interests you, and support yourself. This way, you will also have the courage to leave them and become independent, so that you can support yourself.

Come on!

Hello. I'm happy to answer your question. I hope my suggestions help.

There are three problems with our situation.

One is our own emotions and learning problems.

We can adjust our emotions and make a study plan that suits us. We can also seek help from counseling to calm our emotions, build self-confidence, and make a good study plan.

The second thing to do is talk to your aunt.

Is the younger brother your aunt's child?

Every mother is selfish and will be more considerate of her own child. Our blood relationship with our aunt is limited to the fact that her blood relationship with our father is stronger, and her blood relationship with her son is stronger than ours.

It's only natural that when she needs help, she'll choose someone who won't disturb her son, her brother, or her younger brother.

The aunt loves us, but she loves her son more. So if her son needs to prepare for the exam, she will want him to be able to do so without worrying about us.

We need to accept our situation and refuse unreasonable requests.

If we don't want to see relatives, we should be polite but firm.

You can say you won't help because you have an exam to prepare. This may make elders feel you are impolite and mock you.

This will hurt us.

We need to find a reason to refuse or just say, "I can't go."

If we help someone, it should be within our means. Otherwise, it's just dedication. There are two types of dedication: giving love and seeing someone as worthy.

We can't be selfless with this aunt. We're not doing charity work, nor are we a charity organization, nor are we volunteers. We don't owe her anything unless there's an employment relationship. If she's good to us, we should respect her. If she's not, we don't have to help her.

The third part is about relationships with mothers.

This is about parent-child relationships.

We can learn to communicate better with our mothers through counseling.

We don't have to do it right now. We can wait until the right time.

I hope you can find a good way to study and pass the exam!

Love you!