24 years old, been with your boyfriend for almost a year, and you've broken up and gotten back together five or six times?

From what you've told me, I've picked up on a few key words that I'd love to chat about with you.

The reason the questioner cited for breaking up was that they didn't see each other for a long time, sometimes three or five days, sometimes a week or more than half a month. This made the questioner feel that their boyfriend didn't care about the relationship. However, the questioner believed that you can't love someone without seeing them for such a long time.

I think the key to the problem is that the questioner and her boyfriend have different levels of acceptance of the frequency and duration of meetings when they are in a relationship. This shows that the two of them have different ideas about how committed they are to each other in this relationship. Looking a little deeper, it is the questioner and her boyfriend's different preferences for "ways to express love."

In the book The Five Love Languages, marriage expert Dr. Gary Chapman has a great way of explaining the different ways we can show our love. He says there are five main categories: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. We all have different personalities and backgrounds, so it's only natural that we have different preferences when it comes to these five ways of showing love.

From what the questioner said, it seems like she thinks that spending quality time together is more important than gifts or help. The boyfriend mentioned financial problems, which could mean that he's spending more time at work to improve his financial situation so that he can provide a better life for the questioner.

It's not about having different preferences. It's about being open and honest with each other. It's about truly understanding each other's needs and being willing to adapt and grow together. When we do this, our intimate relationships become much more harmonious.

However, when the questioner dealt with the problem of the long interval between meetings, she directly mentioned breaking up, hoping that breaking up would make her boyfriend pay attention. But it is likely that he did not know that the questioner attached so much importance to this time problem, did not understand why, and did not feel that the relationship would fade if they met less frequently. Instead, he would complain that the questioner did not understand that he took the initiative to work overtime and go on business trips in the hope of earning more money and getting a promotion and pay rise sooner, so as to lay a good foundation for the future of the two.

I truly believe that inadequate communication is a big reason for the problems that cause the questioner and her boyfriend to break up and get back together.

If you and your partner have an emotional foundation, don't have any major differences in your outlooks, and have similar expectations for the future, then you can easily solve any minor issues you have by communicating well. And if you solve one problem well, your relationship will also become stronger!

When you're chatting with someone, try not to accuse them or criticize their ideas. Instead, just share how you feel about their actions and thoughts, and what you'd love for them to do. And don't forget to do the same for them! This kind of communication is a great way to express emotions, exchange ideas, and reach a consensus.

I hope these thoughts are helpful! If there's any confusion about the original poster's ideas, please don't hesitate to reach out.