29-year-old programmer, alone in the city, I'm so tired, I want to go home, what's wrong with me?

Hello!

Being alone in the city can make you feel lonely and helpless when you're in a bad mood.

You are a coder in a research and development position at a company that offers a good overall package. You can relax when things are slow, but when things get busy, you often have to work overtime.

You have worked here for six years. Recently, there was friction with the new leader because of frequent overtime. You recently interviewed for a new company with a similar job but a higher salary. You don't know how to choose. You feel tired during the selection process. You begin to feel at a loss about your future path. You don't know where your future lies in this industry.

This is your work anxiety!

You're 29, your sisters are married, and you're working in a different city. You're not sure if your girlfriend can move back, so you're not ready to get married. You don't have your sisters, parents, or girlfriend by your side.

This is your family's emotional anxiety!

When there is a sudden change in daily life, we are easily confused and will re-examine our life path. You have worked in your current company for six years.

Your work and emotional anxieties have always been there, but the conflict with your new leader has made them worse. Interviewing for a new company may have been a moment of excitement.

Why did you stay at the company for six years? You must have agreed with the company or felt you had a future there!

Have you ever had trouble at work? If you did, you should be able to handle it now. Or do you think things are different now?

I can't adapt to the company's new business philosophy or the new leader.

A new company or industry is both an opportunity and a challenge. Choose carefully. You won't regret it. Family members rarely meet, but they can talk online or meet in person.

If you feel depressed at work, try changing your routine and taking a break. Changing your environment can help. If you feel lost, you can clarify your career goals to give yourself direction and motivation.

Hello!

I can see you're tired. Hugs.

Your work is too intense. You need to adjust it. You're burning out.

Adjustment

When you're tired, you think "I want to go home." Going home means feeling warm and stable.

This is the strength you need most. If you don't dare to quit, take a few days off to relax, adjust, and keep moving forward.

I imagine being a child with my parents and sisters, wanting to spend time with my family after work. This simple wish has also become a luxury in big cities.

Can you get everyone together, even if it's just a video?

You must miss being together with your family when you're tired. It's a happy thing.

Stress affects our work. Talk to family and friends or go for a walk to relieve stress. Once you've released this energy, you'll be more rational and clear-headed.

Planning

A clear plan can help you feel less confused and more in control. You mentioned people and events, like your girlfriend and your house.

Discuss this with your girlfriend.

People feel pain when making choices because we want both/all things at once. We can rank our wants and make choices according to this ranking. Maybe it won't be so painful.

I love you! Thanks for reading!

Greetings. I am a heart exploration coach. I will provide a supportive and empathetic presence as you share your experiences.

I empathize with your situation. While your employment offers a lucrative salary, the nature of the work is mentally and physically exhausting. Frequent overtime can have a detrimental impact on an individual's physical health, and even more so on their mental energy, reducing their interest in continuing to perform the work.

You have experienced disagreements with your superior, and there is no individual in your immediate circle who can provide you with emotional support. This has led to feelings of loneliness and a questioning of the purpose of earning money and the future of your life.

Let me offer you a warm embrace. If you inquire of your acquaintances or even strangers, you will discover that a considerable number of us are "in the same boat." The accelerated pace of life has brought us numerous benefits, including convenience and excitement. However, it has also resulted in a notable increase in anxiety.

1. Psychological Energy

Psychological research has revealed that there are typically two primary motivators when engaging in an action: the pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain.

Happiness, however, is associated with an individual's intrinsic motivation.

Upon attaining external material and other tangible things, an individual will experience a sense of happiness. Concurrently, they will also feel happiness when they obtain the spiritual needs of recognition, affirmation, praise, acceptance, and love from others. These constitute the sources of an individual's motivation.

However, many of these sources of external motivation are beyond one's control, such as income and the approval of others. These external sources of motivation can be likened to the relinquishment of control over one's life to another party. The decision-making process is no longer within one's own control, and one's actions are ultimately shaped by external factors.

It is unfortunate that human desires are limitless, and fear is akin to an abyss. Regardless of one's efforts or the accumulation of wealth, satisfaction is elusive because the desire for more persists.

When an individual shifts their focus from external sources to internal development, they regain control of the initiative. There are numerous methods for cultivating the inner self, one particularly straightforward approach is self-realization, which is also commonly referred to as the "mission" of life.

When an individual is able to create value for society and others, they experience a sense of purpose and well-being, which can be considered a form of mission.

? 2. Three pieces of advice are offered herewith:

1) Initially, it is essential to maintain awareness. It would be beneficial to inquire of oneself whether one derives enjoyment from one's work. In the event that the response is negative, it is likely that one's motivation to work is derived from external factors, indicating a passive approach. One's actions may be driven by either the pursuit of desires or the avoidance of discomfort.

(2) A shift from seeking external sources of gratification to cultivating internal sources of fulfillment is a crucial aspect of personal development. Many individuals are accustomed to satisfying their desires or escaping their inner fears by pursuing material things, money, power, and reputation externally.

3) Enhance emotional fulfillment by fostering greater communication with family and significant others. When in-person interactions are not feasible, utilize alternative avenues for expression, such as video, voice, and the exchange of small tokens.

The sensation of loneliness is the result of a lack of individuals with whom to share and confide. The positive and negative aspects of one's experience are borne by the individual alone.

Family and friends serve as vital social support systems. When experiencing fatigue from extended work hours, it is beneficial to engage in restorative activities such as sleeping in, leisure time, and light exercise, which can help to relax the body and alleviate stress.

It is recommended that you utilize the Yi Xinli platform, which offers access to professional coaches for virtual counseling sessions, as a source of spiritual guidance and rejuvenation.

It is my sincere hope that the aforementioned information is beneficial to you. I extend my warmest regards to you and the world.

Should you wish to continue the communication process, you may click on the "Find a coach" option, which is located in the upper right-hand corner or at the bottom of the page. I will communicate and grow with you on an individual basis.

Hello!

Working hard away from home, you miss it. Should you go back?

In Chinese culture, home is very important. It's where we grew up, and the saying "all roads lead home" shows how attached we are to home and how it nourishes our souls. When we're struggling, we naturally think of home and want to feel encouraged to keep going. If we can't feel satisfied, this homesickness can become painful.

"A person is at the mercy of circumstances." It has always been difficult to escape this, because it is related to our career and the responsibilities we shoulder. "Doing whatever you want" requires better self-discipline. When we want future development, we need to deal with it maturely so that we can create our own happiness.

Problems:

1. Lonely, no energy.

2. The work is unchanging, and I feel numb.

3. Worried about the future.

Burnout is when you feel too tired to enjoy your work. It can make you lose interest, neglect your work, and feel overwhelmed. As for the questioner, they have worked for six years but don't feel like it's worth it.

Career planning is a way of organizing your life. It's not set in stone. When you feel burned out, identify the source of the stress. Then, analyze the causes of burnout. This will help you make adjustments that are in line with your true inner expectations.

1. Release stress and ease homesickness.

People who are always on the go feel homesick when they're tired. To avoid feeling down, it's good to relax and think about something else.

Take time to relax on weekends and holidays. Do something fun and relaxing, like listening to music, going for a walk, or spending time at the beach or park.

If you're homesick, keep in touch with your family by post. This will help you feel secure. Turning thoughts into actions helps relieve physical and mental anxiety.

2. Exercise to stay fit.

When we are in a bad mood, we avoid problems. This limits our creativity and stops us feeling positive. Through fitness, we can improve our self-discipline, exercise our mental functions, feel renewed energy, enhance creativity, and help us devote ourselves to our work.

3. Identify the cause of stress and plan your career.

Clear planning requires clear goals. In response to the current situation, specific constructive ideas that can reasonably improve the situation are needed. Such adjustments can bring about an inspiring nature of work. It is suggested that the question owner can first confirm where the essential cause of psychological energy depletion comes from, and make reasonable adjustments based on their own resources.

Good luck!

Dear question asker, I am honored to answer your question. From your description, I can picture you as a man approaching 30, single, and facing challenges in a foreign land. Your parents are in the old county town, your sisters are married, and although you have a certain air about you, you are still in a foreign land. You are often the only one who works overtime, living in a city that is not your own. This situation can evoke feelings of sadness when others hear about it.

Marong is commonly known as a programmer. The pressure of work is quite high, and it can be challenging to maintain a healthy work-life balance. He often spends long hours in front of the computer, which can contribute to feelings of isolation and a lack of engagement in other cultural or entertaining activities. Over time, this can lead to a shift in his personality, becoming more introverted. It's important to recognize that high-intensity long-term work can also have a negative impact on people's emotions. Given your recent purchase of a house in the city, you might consider planning for the two of you to work together, take care of each other, and support each other. This could not only improve your personal well-being but also bring a positive shift in your state of life.

Due to the nature of your work, you may find yourself working overtime frequently, which could potentially lead to some challenges in your relationship with your immediate supervisor. It is understandable that this could result in some conflicts. Spending your free time hiking and fishing, and cultivating one or two hobbies, could also be beneficial in relieving some of the stress you may be experiencing. If you have the means, you might consider seeking the guidance of a counselor to help you process these negative emotions. By managing your stress effectively, you can improve your work and personal life. As you approach middle age, it is important to prioritize your physical and mental health, not just for yourself but also for your family.

I am delighted to have the opportunity to spend time with you on 1983. I am grateful for your friendship and the world is too.